October 24, 2024 • 30 mins
Pole on the Call Podcast — Season 3
Pole Dancer Code of Conduct
In this episode, Cris Rivers & Mændy Mac have a discussion about a Code of Conduct for Pole Dancers, and the importance of being pole role models in the studio, at events, and more.
----------
Let us know how you like this episode and share with a pole friend!
Free free to Follow us and Tag us on Instagram @poleonthecall
Or email us for advice, comments, questions you would like us to answer on here and more at poleonthecall@gmail.com
Or you can visit or Website for more Episodes, Free Stuff, Courses and more at www.poleonthecall.com
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Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-pole-on-the-call--5317694/support.
Pole Dancer Code of Conduct
In this episode, Cris Rivers & Mændy Mac have a discussion about a Code of Conduct for Pole Dancers, and the importance of being pole role models in the studio, at events, and more.
----------
Let us know how you like this episode and share with a pole friend!
Free free to Follow us and Tag us on Instagram @poleonthecall
Or email us for advice, comments, questions you would like us to answer on here and more at poleonthecall@gmail.com
Or you can visit or Website for more Episodes, Free Stuff, Courses and more at www.poleonthecall.com
Here's our Bees Knees link for amazing knee pads and much more!!
Use coupon code BEECALLED at https://www.beeskneeskneepads....
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-pole-on-the-call--5317694/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, everyone, Welcome back to Poll on the Call podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
My name is Mandy Mack Chris Rivers, and.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I'm here not miked up because my mic messed up
the last recording of this.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Third time. But we're here for a good episode to
talk about a good topic, and it is about the
code of conduct.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yes, right, yeah, right, We're going to talk about code
of conduct for pool studios events. I'm like pulled answer
code of conduct in general.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Online social media, right because.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Words have reached.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
And we've been hearing crazy stories.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
That's we're having this episode, especially like this year. You know,
at all the events that I've been at this year,
I've people have come up to me, and unfortunately it
was some sad news of like sometimes not so nice
things being said in by audience members or even by competitors,
(01:24):
pole competitors, even by judges other pole dancers. And I
know that some studios have like a specific code of
conduct on their website, and I think that's really cool.
And many people that I've personally talked to about this
thought it was should be self explanatory, but based upon
(01:46):
all of the things that I've learned this year, it's
not always common knowledge about a code of conduct and
how the ways that we present ourselves reflect in public.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yes, it is important to say we are not professionals
on this topic. We are just talking about it because
of stories we've heard, and like Mandy sin many it
is common sense. Many people say, I have said it
should be common sense. But sometimes in these events or
in these spaces, we react as human and common sense
(02:26):
goes out the door and our mouth runs before our brain.
So maybe just talking about this will help us all
be more conscientious and thoughtful when in these certain spaces
said and made my mistakes as well.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Right, Yeah, I definitely remember myself being included in some
of these. The ways that you can even like backhanded compliments,
I need to start with that one, And that's when
you are complimenting someone by putting someone else down. And
(03:07):
an example of that would be like, let's say you
were in the audience of a poll show and your
friend goes everyone else was horrible except for so and so.
I shouldn't be laughing. That's really like somebody really said
(03:27):
something like that. It'd be like like the other dancer
had no business being on stage, like things like that,
like trying to make their friend or family member feel
really really good by putting the other people down.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I've also on the flip side too, like they should
not have been in that level, they sand bag, they
should have been in a higher level or something just
to make other people feel better. It's always interesting things
you hear, even sometimes things you might say or thinking you're.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yeah, and like people can hear you everywhere in the bathroom,
at events, in the hotel balcony.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, try to refrain from talking about other people in
the studio, especially if you're in class with them or
in a post space. I remember one PSOH and it
was my first PSO It was beautiful experience. I loved it,
don't get me wrong. But I was just standing in
line and I hear people say talking people behind me
talking about someone practicing on stage. Oh, I heard they
(04:40):
were in this level. They shouldn't be in that level.
And another time was why is this person in level three?
They can't even very cleanly? This is ridiculous, like things
like that, and I'm like, that's fucking harsh, Like do
you know how much guts it takes to fucking even
get on that stage anyway? Like why you nitpick?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
So surprising when like like those comments came from other
pole answers, like they should know how hard it is
to get in front of everyone on stage, like and
it's like a vulnerable state, like if you if someone
hears you, they're like that can really hurt.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, Like I understand if we all do things to
say things like even my first time, I was like,
I don't know why when I worked so hard and
you know, those emotions not adrenaline coming down. We all
do it. It's being thoughtful when we do it with
(05:40):
what we say. I'm making you don't hurt anybody else
while doing it.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Right, same, I was definitely when I first started losing,
I was a sore loser and I was very loud
about it. And then later I realized what that felt
like on the other end, and it is not yea,
not cool. Well this together.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
I found when I went into those like situations wanting
to win, I didn't like the person I would become.
But when I went in just like wanting to have
fun and just perform, it was a very different experience.
Like I didn't even care if I came last place.
It was very different mind frame.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, So as a poll answer, you should be really
mindful of the ways that you speak, especially like you
could have the best intentions, but maybe you're putting someone
else down in your compliment. And then also I feel
like like polled answers are fairly good at this, but
(06:46):
maybe like in audience members who are not poll answers,
if you had the chance to educate your friends and
family about these things, you can really reduce the other
amounts of trauma that can be experienced. For instance, there
was an episode of I Guess a friend was recording
(07:08):
their friend who was on stage, and the people behind
them were just like talking shit, and like in this
video recording you could hear every single word that they
were saying, so it was like really disrespectful and like,
you never know, just don't don't be a dick.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
It's hard to get up on that stage and is
already we already have people talking shit about us. Why
are we doing it amongst ourselves? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Right, yeah, And it doesn't take too much to like,
if it is your friend or your family, just be like, hey,
the way you said that could have been worded a
little bit differently, or like if they're like openly talking shit,
just be like why yeah, or in.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Like studio places, especially if it's a big studio and
there are clicks and like there's a lot of students
in the space and you can like just tell when
people are in the corner talking about someone it's awkward.
Do you know what? Why do you why do you
do that? Why are you making comments about someone else's
lines or someone else's journey? Like, be focused on your journey.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yes, right, Like our studio we have small class sizes,
but I can't imagine how hard it must be like
in a larger studio setting with all sorts of different personalities.
But we're all all there together to pull dance, So
all the other things should fade away.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
And be mindful if you're judging or like oh yeah,
and comment, like if we're instructing and commenting on students
or competitors or whatever the cases. Like some comments you
say you might think our beneficial, but are really hurtful. Example,
(09:15):
I think one comment I got on like a judging
thing was I did not get this. Did you really
think about this piece before bringing it to us? I
was like, what the fuck? It's like, Yeah, I really
thought about it. I did multiple costume changes, and I
(09:35):
worked my ass off, like Yeah, I thought about it.
I had a story. Maybe it didn't make sense to you,
but it was my story. I could have probably done
better explaining.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
But still that comment was really harsh and it was
not necessary when it came down to it.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah. Then another one was are you in the right level?
You should be in a lower level or if not,
add harder tricks. That's not what I wanted. I didn't
want to do hot tricks or hard transitions. I wanted
to tell a story. That's why I did an artistic category.
(10:13):
Things like that, like be mindful, some of your comments
aren't helpful.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah right, think of how you would feel on the
receiving end of it, just because like you never know,
like you like, That's why I was like remind of
like we're always good and bad at the same time.
It's just like the delivery and like the response, Like
you could have the best intentions trying to do something,
but like maybe you delivered it the wrong way and
(10:45):
you shouldn't have done it, like there was in particular
like again with the judges, or like people who are
like role models in the whole world. People can see you,
so you probably shouldn't write underneath the competitors when they
post something from a competition that I wish or I
(11:10):
think you should have won. Like saying that is not
going to help anyone. That's like another backhanded compliment that
not only like puts down the judges interpretation of who
should have won, but like.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Say it practice.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, like you you think that, just say it privately,
don't post it where everyone can see, especially like if
you're in you know, a pole role model sort of position.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Mhm, yeah. I think another thing is blasting other people online.
Holy fuck the last couple months. Thus, and if y'allre
online a lot, y'all probably know roughly what I'm talking about.
I understand putting people their place, I understand making things known.
(12:02):
But there's a way to do it. There's a way
to do it. Yeah together.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, we're all human beings and humans make things. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, it's hard because I feel like we react and
then we take it to like social media or to
our friends and we react. And social media is hard
because everybody sees a big events are hard because everybody
is together. It's interesting, Yeah, it is interesting, Like where's
(12:53):
the fine line of letting people know what's going on
and then disrespecting people while letting people know I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Right, Yeah, it's just like we're all humans. We all
make mistakes and it all comes down to what you said,
how we react to coming towards like a solution resolution. Yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
As instructors, we should try not to put down other instructors,
especially to our students. As coaches, we should not try
to do that. As well as pole businesses, we should
not do that. It's okay to say, yes, this is
why my method works, this is why my product works,
things like that, but don't go right out and say, well,
(13:47):
this person sucks because this is that maybe, like.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I would never teach that way instead it used my
this way. Like you know, there's a million ways to
teach things. Everyone's body is different.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You should know that. Oh it's too funny. Quote of contact.
Just be mindful, Be thoughtful. We're supposed to support each other,
hopefully grow and learn together. It's okay to not get
along with everybody. I'm not saying get along with everybody
(14:22):
because that's not going to happen. But there's no need
for other people to hear here you talking shit in
these like big spaces, right.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I always like like.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Gossip. This shit is different, right, I'm sure I remember.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Just so lead with love any question, Just remember that
and think about what that would mean.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
It's okay to gossip with your friends privately, out to
dinner with no one around and you know, or at
a late night event drinking, but not in these big
ass events or these spaces where people surrounding you, like
where people can hear you. Like so in a normal job,
(15:17):
I feel like there are rules about this, like what
I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Some studios do have a code of conduct listen on
their website, so it.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Is a thing. I know. I when I worked in
the hospital, a woman got fired just because she was
behind a closed door telling her friend, Oh, I can't
stand that girl. Sometimes I wish I could like beat
the crap out of her. She sucks here. I hate
working with her. And the girl on the other side
(15:46):
of the door, like closed door heard and reported it
right violent.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yeah she was threatened.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah, you never know who's listening.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Lead with love. And then I also wanted to talk
about like in general, pole aancers should always remember to
honor the roots of pollancing and be nice to strippers.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Yeah, let's your acts. I feel I'm glad you brought
that up. I feel like and I know why because
for a few years there is a movement we all know,
the movement to separate pole fitness and arts from stripping,
to let the mainstream know that we were serious. I
understand that. But now, like there's still issues, but it
(16:39):
is mainstream enough that we should be able to respect
the history and where it comes from and the roots,
and then people out there making the money doing the
work that nine to five people don't want to, creating
facies for others, right right.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I think it's also really cool too. I think lots
of studios make a point to have like like outings
where they visit the strip clubs and you know, make
it rain on the stripper, isn't because you should get back.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Yeah. I love how there's like a new growth and
like stripping competitions or like even competitions are our mainstream
competitions are allowing more sexiness and stuff, and it shows
that we're finally, you know, we finally come to a
place where we can finally start respecting the roots.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yes, right, Yeah, there's so many ways that you can
incorporate that as you're pull answer philosophy and your own
quote of conduct. Yeah, and hopefully if this information was
useful to you, please pass it on, because then it
(18:00):
will be more well known and then people won't have
to be unnecessarily, unnecessarily hurt or traumatized by maybe you
not meaning to do that, what you did. I said
(18:21):
that in such a weird way.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
I've heard so many stories and it's sad. So many people,
so many I don't not minorities, how many, like what's
the correct words? So many, like, so many groups of
people dealing with different issues related to this, like discrimination,
(18:44):
not being allowed into advance or because of the way
they perform, people talk about them behind the scenes and stuff,
and it's just sad.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yeah, the only way we grow is if we learn
from others.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
And yeah, especially in pole dancing, like we're supposed to
be like a crazy art form.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah, like we're like we're so vulnerable at like we're
wearing like bathing suits, and then you we're gonna like
hate on each other.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
And if I ever said anything to offend you and
you're listening to this, I apologize. I was probably reactive
and I was not being thoughtful. I am older now
and I am trying to be more thoughtful same.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
I think about it all the time, and I do
think that people can change, and yes, right, I think
about that too, like the past lives that we've all
lived that maybe turned people away. You know, we can change.
You just have to open your eyes to the bullshit
that you're spraying all over place.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I will say, I think this podcast kind of helped
with how I how I act or portray myself in
certain instances and events because people listen to us and
people see us acting like booble the pool like when
I was twenty. I mean, I'm still a hot mess,
(20:24):
Like I'll smoke a joint in front of you and
not give a fuck. I can't be like wanting to fight,
taking things personal and offensive when I shouldn't be. I should.
I really have started thinking about how I react and
speak to people and how people are speaking to me,
(20:46):
because it's sometimes people come off a ser air way
and they don't mean that way. Right.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I agree. This podcast has also helped me too, because
you really can reflect on yourself because you're looking at
yourself well the podcast partner, you listen. But yeah, it's
just like like you said, just being more mindful of
how you project yourself and the ways that people because
(21:13):
everyone's looking at you. If it's public, everyone can see you.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
That's what I think about. It's mind or like sometimes
we get like fifty one hundred views a day just
from the podcast or YouTube, and I'm like, I do
the math, and I'm like, that's a lot of fucking faiths.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
And I'm always worried about something that I've said on
one of our podcasts that might be like, might be
some dumb thing.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
That I've said.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
I intend to like hurt anybody. Yeah, I'd be thinking
about it too. Or like when I'm at these events,
like Chris don't come out like see me.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
We're all, you know, human beings, and.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Yeah, what's this? We have a saying where I'm from,
you could take you could take the girl out the hood,
but you can't take the hood up. The girl is.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Try to lead with love again, that's my motto is
on my to do list. I look at it every day.
I remember it. It's hard to lead with love, but.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah it is, so take a break if you find
it hard, take a break. Take a break from social media,
take a break from just people. Just center yourself, ground yourself.
Sometimes just too many people too much, posts too much.
Social media is just too stimulating and it gets our
emotions roued up, right, And I.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Think it's important to say also to you brought this up,
to not take things so personally. So like, if you
are experiencing someone has backhandedly complimented in your vicinity and
made you feel some sort of way, try not to
let it make you feel that way. And it's really hard,
(23:06):
but they likely didn't mean it. Why do backhanded compliments exist?
Who made them? Let's not put others down, like.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
They helped us save money, but we ended recession. Let
me right, that's what we've been exposed to.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
It's the marketing, yes, yeah, oh and then wait there
was another thing. Oh there was a question is to
like who, who do we who? How do we report
these things when they happen? And so like that is
(23:56):
that everyone's discretion? Of course, I think that you know
your friends and family, you should feel comfortable enough to
like check.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Them reported to your studio, manage your studio owner or
instructor if you see it happening or if they're the issue.
I mean, I mean, I say take it to social media.
But sometimes maybe it's time for a new studio. Yeah,
(24:29):
if it's a competition and you see this, they're probably
aware and they're trying to work on it. But it's
really the people in it, like the owners and creators
of these competitions, can't control what's happening inside. It's our
job to control ourselves.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Right, that's so true. It's the easiest way is to
just control yourself. But yeah, but you know, if these
things are happening, like and you can alert someone about them,
just make sure you find someone who you feel comfort
alerting too, because there might be a touchy subject too,
like maybe it's a repeat offender, yes.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Or maybe they're just being completely disrespectful and making someone
cry behind them and not even realizing it, like go
to the Drudge Wrangler, or like if it's on social
media like a I don't know example, Pull Circus or
Exotic Generation online and people are being disrespectful, see if
you can reach out to them and be like, hey,
how can we make this better so this online bullying
(25:32):
this doesn't happen or whatever?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah, right, because in the end, we all want to
make things better. We don't want to make things worse.
And again, we might not be aware of the things
that are going on so and.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Then if they're not trying to make it better, if
they're not trying to actively grow, then you blow their
spot up with respect.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Right, give them a human chance and then yeah, a
slight other human chance, and then blow them up.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Not just thanks. I'm waiting for that episode where someone
comes up and starts blowing up other people's spots and
I'm just like, holy shit, no way, no.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Well, we do have a platform for poll answers, yes, to.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Talk about anything. You don't have to give names, studio names,
event names. You could just talk about your experience and
how we can learn or grow or what would have
made it better so we can learn and grow together,
because that's why we do this.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yes, and we are two people from a small place
in Massachusetts, so there's lots of things that we don't
see in here and experience. So you know, well, we
might thought of the code of conduct was really important
topic to talk about. Maybe you're like, maybe there's another
(26:59):
topic you wanted to talk about. Please let us know,
because this Holdance podcast is for you.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yes, we have a couple of good topics coming up,
like a couple of crazy ones, a couple, a couple
of good ones. I mean I feel like they're all
always good, you know, like if that's okay, catch you
on the next one.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Right. We have pretty much a new episode every week,
so there's so many you choose from. Most of them
are brilliant interviews, yes, amazing, full stars and full stars
up and coming.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yes, that's where you can learn from everyone, post studio owners,
post business owners. Everyone we have learned so much from,
Like check it out.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yes, I think too. Let's put a call out for
some new interviewees from new poll answers. I think we
have a lack of perspectives from brand new pole answers.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, that would be fun. New pole dancers, poll dancers
from the West Coast, pole dancers from overseas. We're starting
to stay up late if we need to. We are.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Late night interviews for you guys, because we love you
and we want to share everyone's story, so we'll stay
up late.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
We know alls are different and we still want to
share your story. And we're going on four years.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
I know I thought about that. We celebrated in our
hundredth episode with our beautiful showcase. Thank you to everyone
who participated in that, and we're about to enter our
fourth year. Yes, we we have even more surprises.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
We will. I can't wait more to come. We got
to have a meeting about that, guys.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Right, maybe we'll be some sort of business structure coming soon.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Business structure. Yeah, we're definitely gonna have to talk about
that or even know what that means.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
Right.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I think we've learned enough from all the wonderful poll
dnswers we've talked to to make some good decisions for
our podcasts that it will be good for everyone.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah, I will stop talking your ear off because we
just tangents. We had to stop to ourselves if we
continue on.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Yes, So once again, thank you so much for listening
to or watching this episode of Pulling the Call podcast
and for helping to change the world not only through
your study of pull dance, which, as we know, changes
us inside and out, but also like spreading that love
not only just through pull dance, but like how you
(29:41):
present yourself as a poll role model in the real world.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
To others, say the gossip for private not out and
the not out in public.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Good but not in public spaces.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
I'm not going to go into a tan I was
gonna say, I feel like some of them out there
thrive on that, like they love that book. I don't
care you don't think.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
We all go through a phase of that and if
you're in that phase, it's time to leave.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Encourage people, to inspire people. Don't be dicks to.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Them, lead with love.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Them.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
And on that note of mine, name is Mandy mac.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
And Chris with ship work as always
Hello, everyone, Welcome back to Poll on the Call podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
My name is Mandy Mack Chris Rivers, and.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I'm here not miked up because my mic messed up
the last recording of this.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Third time. But we're here for a good episode to
talk about a good topic, and it is about the
code of conduct.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yes, right, yeah, right, We're going to talk about code
of conduct for pool studios events. I'm like pulled answer
code of conduct in general.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Online social media, right because.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Words have reached.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
And we've been hearing crazy stories.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
That's we're having this episode, especially like this year. You know,
at all the events that I've been at this year,
I've people have come up to me, and unfortunately it
was some sad news of like sometimes not so nice
things being said in by audience members or even by competitors,
(01:24):
pole competitors, even by judges other pole dancers. And I
know that some studios have like a specific code of
conduct on their website, and I think that's really cool.
And many people that I've personally talked to about this
thought it was should be self explanatory, but based upon
(01:46):
all of the things that I've learned this year, it's
not always common knowledge about a code of conduct and
how the ways that we present ourselves reflect in public.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yes, it is important to say we are not professionals
on this topic. We are just talking about it because
of stories we've heard, and like Mandy sin many it
is common sense. Many people say, I have said it
should be common sense. But sometimes in these events or
in these spaces, we react as human and common sense
(02:26):
goes out the door and our mouth runs before our brain.
So maybe just talking about this will help us all
be more conscientious and thoughtful when in these certain spaces
said and made my mistakes as well.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Right, Yeah, I definitely remember myself being included in some
of these. The ways that you can even like backhanded compliments,
I need to start with that one, And that's when
you are complimenting someone by putting someone else down. And
(03:07):
an example of that would be like, let's say you
were in the audience of a poll show and your
friend goes everyone else was horrible except for so and so.
I shouldn't be laughing. That's really like somebody really said
(03:27):
something like that. It'd be like like the other dancer
had no business being on stage, like things like that,
like trying to make their friend or family member feel
really really good by putting the other people down.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I've also on the flip side too, like they should
not have been in that level, they sand bag, they
should have been in a higher level or something just
to make other people feel better. It's always interesting things
you hear, even sometimes things you might say or thinking you're.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yeah, and like people can hear you everywhere in the bathroom,
at events, in the hotel balcony.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, try to refrain from talking about other people in
the studio, especially if you're in class with them or
in a post space. I remember one PSOH and it
was my first PSO It was beautiful experience. I loved it,
don't get me wrong. But I was just standing in
line and I hear people say talking people behind me
talking about someone practicing on stage. Oh, I heard they
(04:40):
were in this level. They shouldn't be in that level.
And another time was why is this person in level three?
They can't even very cleanly? This is ridiculous, like things
like that, and I'm like, that's fucking harsh, Like do
you know how much guts it takes to fucking even
get on that stage anyway? Like why you nitpick?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
So surprising when like like those comments came from other
pole answers, like they should know how hard it is
to get in front of everyone on stage, like and
it's like a vulnerable state, like if you if someone
hears you, they're like that can really hurt.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, Like I understand if we all do things to
say things like even my first time, I was like,
I don't know why when I worked so hard and
you know, those emotions not adrenaline coming down. We all
do it. It's being thoughtful when we do it with
(05:40):
what we say. I'm making you don't hurt anybody else
while doing it.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Right, same, I was definitely when I first started losing,
I was a sore loser and I was very loud
about it. And then later I realized what that felt
like on the other end, and it is not yea,
not cool. Well this together.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
I found when I went into those like situations wanting
to win, I didn't like the person I would become.
But when I went in just like wanting to have
fun and just perform, it was a very different experience.
Like I didn't even care if I came last place.
It was very different mind frame.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, So as a poll answer, you should be really
mindful of the ways that you speak, especially like you
could have the best intentions, but maybe you're putting someone
else down in your compliment. And then also I feel
like like polled answers are fairly good at this, but
(06:46):
maybe like in audience members who are not poll answers,
if you had the chance to educate your friends and
family about these things, you can really reduce the other
amounts of trauma that can be experienced. For instance, there
was an episode of I Guess a friend was recording
(07:08):
their friend who was on stage, and the people behind
them were just like talking shit, and like in this
video recording you could hear every single word that they
were saying, so it was like really disrespectful and like,
you never know, just don't don't be a dick.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
It's hard to get up on that stage and is
already we already have people talking shit about us. Why
are we doing it amongst ourselves? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Right, yeah, And it doesn't take too much to like,
if it is your friend or your family, just be like, hey,
the way you said that could have been worded a
little bit differently, or like if they're like openly talking shit,
just be like why yeah, or in.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Like studio places, especially if it's a big studio and
there are clicks and like there's a lot of students
in the space and you can like just tell when
people are in the corner talking about someone it's awkward.
Do you know what? Why do you why do you
do that? Why are you making comments about someone else's
lines or someone else's journey? Like, be focused on your journey.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yes, right, Like our studio we have small class sizes,
but I can't imagine how hard it must be like
in a larger studio setting with all sorts of different personalities.
But we're all all there together to pull dance, So
all the other things should fade away.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
And be mindful if you're judging or like oh yeah,
and comment, like if we're instructing and commenting on students
or competitors or whatever the cases. Like some comments you
say you might think our beneficial, but are really hurtful. Example,
(09:15):
I think one comment I got on like a judging
thing was I did not get this. Did you really
think about this piece before bringing it to us? I
was like, what the fuck? It's like, Yeah, I really
thought about it. I did multiple costume changes, and I
(09:35):
worked my ass off, like Yeah, I thought about it.
I had a story. Maybe it didn't make sense to you,
but it was my story. I could have probably done
better explaining.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
But still that comment was really harsh and it was
not necessary when it came down to it.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah. Then another one was are you in the right level?
You should be in a lower level or if not,
add harder tricks. That's not what I wanted. I didn't
want to do hot tricks or hard transitions. I wanted
to tell a story. That's why I did an artistic category.
(10:13):
Things like that, like be mindful, some of your comments
aren't helpful.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah right, think of how you would feel on the
receiving end of it, just because like you never know,
like you like, That's why I was like remind of
like we're always good and bad at the same time.
It's just like the delivery and like the response, Like
you could have the best intentions trying to do something,
but like maybe you delivered it the wrong way and
(10:45):
you shouldn't have done it, like there was in particular
like again with the judges, or like people who are
like role models in the whole world. People can see you,
so you probably shouldn't write underneath the competitors when they
post something from a competition that I wish or I
(11:10):
think you should have won. Like saying that is not
going to help anyone. That's like another backhanded compliment that
not only like puts down the judges interpretation of who
should have won, but like.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Say it practice.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, like you you think that, just say it privately,
don't post it where everyone can see, especially like if
you're in you know, a pole role model sort of position.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Mhm, yeah. I think another thing is blasting other people online.
Holy fuck the last couple months. Thus, and if y'allre
online a lot, y'all probably know roughly what I'm talking about.
I understand putting people their place, I understand making things known.
(12:02):
But there's a way to do it. There's a way
to do it. Yeah together.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, we're all human beings and humans make things. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, it's hard because I feel like we react and
then we take it to like social media or to
our friends and we react. And social media is hard
because everybody sees a big events are hard because everybody
is together. It's interesting, Yeah, it is interesting, Like where's
(12:53):
the fine line of letting people know what's going on
and then disrespecting people while letting people know I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Right, Yeah, it's just like we're all humans. We all
make mistakes and it all comes down to what you said,
how we react to coming towards like a solution resolution. Yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
As instructors, we should try not to put down other instructors,
especially to our students. As coaches, we should not try
to do that. As well as pole businesses, we should
not do that. It's okay to say, yes, this is
why my method works, this is why my product works,
things like that, but don't go right out and say, well,
(13:47):
this person sucks because this is that maybe, like.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I would never teach that way instead it used my
this way. Like you know, there's a million ways to
teach things. Everyone's body is different.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You should know that. Oh it's too funny. Quote of contact.
Just be mindful, Be thoughtful. We're supposed to support each other,
hopefully grow and learn together. It's okay to not get
along with everybody. I'm not saying get along with everybody
(14:22):
because that's not going to happen. But there's no need
for other people to hear here you talking shit in
these like big spaces, right.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I always like like.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Gossip. This shit is different, right, I'm sure I remember.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Just so lead with love any question, Just remember that
and think about what that would mean.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
It's okay to gossip with your friends privately, out to
dinner with no one around and you know, or at
a late night event drinking, but not in these big
ass events or these spaces where people surrounding you, like
where people can hear you. Like so in a normal job,
(15:17):
I feel like there are rules about this, like what
I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Some studios do have a code of conduct listen on
their website, so it.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Is a thing. I know. I when I worked in
the hospital, a woman got fired just because she was
behind a closed door telling her friend, Oh, I can't
stand that girl. Sometimes I wish I could like beat
the crap out of her. She sucks here. I hate
working with her. And the girl on the other side
(15:46):
of the door, like closed door heard and reported it
right violent.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yeah she was threatened.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah, you never know who's listening.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Lead with love. And then I also wanted to talk
about like in general, pole aancers should always remember to
honor the roots of pollancing and be nice to strippers.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Yeah, let's your acts. I feel I'm glad you brought
that up. I feel like and I know why because
for a few years there is a movement we all know,
the movement to separate pole fitness and arts from stripping,
to let the mainstream know that we were serious. I
understand that. But now, like there's still issues, but it
(16:39):
is mainstream enough that we should be able to respect
the history and where it comes from and the roots,
and then people out there making the money doing the
work that nine to five people don't want to, creating
facies for others, right right.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I think it's also really cool too. I think lots
of studios make a point to have like like outings
where they visit the strip clubs and you know, make
it rain on the stripper, isn't because you should get back.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Yeah. I love how there's like a new growth and
like stripping competitions or like even competitions are our mainstream
competitions are allowing more sexiness and stuff, and it shows
that we're finally, you know, we finally come to a
place where we can finally start respecting the roots.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yes, right, Yeah, there's so many ways that you can
incorporate that as you're pull answer philosophy and your own
quote of conduct. Yeah, and hopefully if this information was
useful to you, please pass it on, because then it
(18:00):
will be more well known and then people won't have
to be unnecessarily, unnecessarily hurt or traumatized by maybe you
not meaning to do that, what you did. I said
(18:21):
that in such a weird way.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
I've heard so many stories and it's sad. So many people,
so many I don't not minorities, how many, like what's
the correct words? So many, like, so many groups of
people dealing with different issues related to this, like discrimination,
(18:44):
not being allowed into advance or because of the way
they perform, people talk about them behind the scenes and stuff,
and it's just sad.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yeah, the only way we grow is if we learn
from others.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
And yeah, especially in pole dancing, like we're supposed to
be like a crazy art form.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah, like we're like we're so vulnerable at like we're
wearing like bathing suits, and then you we're gonna like
hate on each other.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
And if I ever said anything to offend you and
you're listening to this, I apologize. I was probably reactive
and I was not being thoughtful. I am older now
and I am trying to be more thoughtful same.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
I think about it all the time, and I do
think that people can change, and yes, right, I think
about that too, like the past lives that we've all
lived that maybe turned people away. You know, we can change.
You just have to open your eyes to the bullshit
that you're spraying all over place.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I will say, I think this podcast kind of helped
with how I how I act or portray myself in
certain instances and events because people listen to us and
people see us acting like booble the pool like when
I was twenty. I mean, I'm still a hot mess,
(20:24):
Like I'll smoke a joint in front of you and
not give a fuck. I can't be like wanting to fight,
taking things personal and offensive when I shouldn't be. I should.
I really have started thinking about how I react and
speak to people and how people are speaking to me,
(20:46):
because it's sometimes people come off a ser air way
and they don't mean that way. Right.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I agree. This podcast has also helped me too, because
you really can reflect on yourself because you're looking at
yourself well the podcast partner, you listen. But yeah, it's
just like like you said, just being more mindful of
how you project yourself and the ways that people because
(21:13):
everyone's looking at you. If it's public, everyone can see you.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
That's what I think about. It's mind or like sometimes
we get like fifty one hundred views a day just
from the podcast or YouTube, and I'm like, I do
the math, and I'm like, that's a lot of fucking faiths.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
And I'm always worried about something that I've said on
one of our podcasts that might be like, might be
some dumb thing.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
That I've said.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
I intend to like hurt anybody. Yeah, I'd be thinking
about it too. Or like when I'm at these events,
like Chris don't come out like see me.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
We're all, you know, human beings, and.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Yeah, what's this? We have a saying where I'm from,
you could take you could take the girl out the hood,
but you can't take the hood up. The girl is.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Try to lead with love again, that's my motto is
on my to do list. I look at it every day.
I remember it. It's hard to lead with love, but.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah it is, so take a break if you find
it hard, take a break. Take a break from social media,
take a break from just people. Just center yourself, ground yourself.
Sometimes just too many people too much, posts too much.
Social media is just too stimulating and it gets our
emotions roued up, right, And I.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Think it's important to say also to you brought this up,
to not take things so personally. So like, if you
are experiencing someone has backhandedly complimented in your vicinity and
made you feel some sort of way, try not to
let it make you feel that way. And it's really hard,
(23:06):
but they likely didn't mean it. Why do backhanded compliments exist?
Who made them? Let's not put others down, like.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
They helped us save money, but we ended recession. Let
me right, that's what we've been exposed to.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
It's the marketing, yes, yeah, oh and then wait there
was another thing. Oh there was a question is to
like who, who do we who? How do we report
these things when they happen? And so like that is
(23:56):
that everyone's discretion? Of course, I think that you know
your friends and family, you should feel comfortable enough to
like check.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Them reported to your studio, manage your studio owner or
instructor if you see it happening or if they're the issue.
I mean, I mean, I say take it to social media.
But sometimes maybe it's time for a new studio. Yeah,
(24:29):
if it's a competition and you see this, they're probably
aware and they're trying to work on it. But it's
really the people in it, like the owners and creators
of these competitions, can't control what's happening inside. It's our
job to control ourselves.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Right, that's so true. It's the easiest way is to
just control yourself. But yeah, but you know, if these
things are happening, like and you can alert someone about them,
just make sure you find someone who you feel comfort
alerting too, because there might be a touchy subject too,
like maybe it's a repeat offender, yes.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Or maybe they're just being completely disrespectful and making someone
cry behind them and not even realizing it, like go
to the Drudge Wrangler, or like if it's on social
media like a I don't know example, Pull Circus or
Exotic Generation online and people are being disrespectful, see if
you can reach out to them and be like, hey,
how can we make this better so this online bullying
(25:32):
this doesn't happen or whatever?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah, right, because in the end, we all want to
make things better. We don't want to make things worse.
And again, we might not be aware of the things
that are going on so and.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Then if they're not trying to make it better, if
they're not trying to actively grow, then you blow their
spot up with respect.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Right, give them a human chance and then yeah, a
slight other human chance, and then blow them up.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Not just thanks. I'm waiting for that episode where someone
comes up and starts blowing up other people's spots and
I'm just like, holy shit, no way, no.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Well, we do have a platform for poll answers, yes, to.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Talk about anything. You don't have to give names, studio names,
event names. You could just talk about your experience and
how we can learn or grow or what would have
made it better so we can learn and grow together,
because that's why we do this.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yes, and we are two people from a small place
in Massachusetts, so there's lots of things that we don't
see in here and experience. So you know, well, we
might thought of the code of conduct was really important
topic to talk about. Maybe you're like, maybe there's another
(26:59):
topic you wanted to talk about. Please let us know,
because this Holdance podcast is for you.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yes, we have a couple of good topics coming up,
like a couple of crazy ones, a couple, a couple
of good ones. I mean I feel like they're all
always good, you know, like if that's okay, catch you
on the next one.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Right. We have pretty much a new episode every week,
so there's so many you choose from. Most of them
are brilliant interviews, yes, amazing, full stars and full stars
up and coming.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yes, that's where you can learn from everyone, post studio owners,
post business owners. Everyone we have learned so much from,
Like check it out.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yes, I think too. Let's put a call out for
some new interviewees from new poll answers. I think we
have a lack of perspectives from brand new pole answers.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, that would be fun. New pole dancers, poll dancers
from the West Coast, pole dancers from overseas. We're starting
to stay up late if we need to. We are.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Late night interviews for you guys, because we love you
and we want to share everyone's story, so we'll stay
up late.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
We know alls are different and we still want to
share your story. And we're going on four years.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
I know I thought about that. We celebrated in our
hundredth episode with our beautiful showcase. Thank you to everyone
who participated in that, and we're about to enter our
fourth year. Yes, we we have even more surprises.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
We will. I can't wait more to come. We got
to have a meeting about that, guys.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Right, maybe we'll be some sort of business structure coming soon.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Business structure. Yeah, we're definitely gonna have to talk about
that or even know what that means.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
Right.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I think we've learned enough from all the wonderful poll
dnswers we've talked to to make some good decisions for
our podcasts that it will be good for everyone.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah, I will stop talking your ear off because we
just tangents. We had to stop to ourselves if we
continue on.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Yes, So once again, thank you so much for listening
to or watching this episode of Pulling the Call podcast
and for helping to change the world not only through
your study of pull dance, which, as we know, changes
us inside and out, but also like spreading that love
not only just through pull dance, but like how you
(29:41):
present yourself as a poll role model in the real world.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
To others, say the gossip for private not out and
the not out in public.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Good but not in public spaces.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
I'm not going to go into a tan I was
gonna say, I feel like some of them out there
thrive on that, like they love that book. I don't
care you don't think.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
We all go through a phase of that and if
you're in that phase, it's time to leave.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Encourage people, to inspire people. Don't be dicks to.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Them, lead with love.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Them.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
And on that note of mine, name is Mandy mac.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
And Chris with ship work as always
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