July 10, 2024 • 19 mins
We all have them. No matter the type of relationship, but especially a romantic one; there have probably been multiple times this subject has been discussed or thought about....they are relationship deal breakers. What are your relationship deal breakers? How important are they to you? Are you willing to compromise, and if so, to what extent? Do you know when you need to make the decision and actually put forth the action to just walk away? With this episode you can be informed, aware, and ready!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Well, look at here. Youare listening to someone who is bold,
authentic, diverse, unpredictable. Baby, I am unapologetically ramon and you have
entered my zone, the QB Zone. Baby, Hello, somebody Rockley.
(00:52):
When you think about the relationships thatyou've been in, what are some of
the deal breakers that you had andhave they changed as you've gotten older and
have probably had more or different lifeexperiences if you are a teenager or in
(01:19):
your twenties, or if you werewell, not if you were because if
you're still alive, you was atsome point. But when you were a
teenager or in your twenties, andlet's say you are forty plus, did
your deal breakers change? Why aredeal breakers so important? Yes, I'm
(01:49):
sure you recognize this voice. Thisis your boy with more my keys,
and we are on down to theQB Zone for one more episode. And
as always, or appreciative to youguys for just tuning in and supporting so
as you can probably safely assume,I'm gonna talk about deal breakers today.
(02:10):
In virtually every relationship, the pathto lasting commitment is pepper, with various
challenges that test compatibility, resilience,and the ability to compromise, Yet certain
deal breakers and relationships emerge as insurmountableobstacles, casting long shadows over the future
(02:35):
potential of a partnership. Identifying thesedeal breakers is crucial for maintaining one's emotional
wellbeing and ensuring a healthy dynamic betweenpartners. It's a nuanced conversation that intersects
with core values, neutral respect,and the complexities of human emotions. Find
(03:00):
the pivotal moments when staying becomes moreharmful than parting ways this episode, I
want to delve briefly into the conceptof deal breakers and relationship outline the most
common red flash that signal a needfor reevaluation, ranging from trust issues,
(03:22):
substance abuse and anger management, tocommunication breakdown and lack of respect. I
want to help provide a roadmap forrecognizing when compromised is no longer serving one's
best interest and highlights the importance ofsetting boundaries, engaging in self reflection,
(03:45):
and maintaining an open dialogue about emotionalneeds. Moving forward from recognizing a deal
breaker involves us being able to navigatethe intricate process of separating one's self from
a detrimental situation and embarking on ajourney of personal growth. Now Ultimately,
(04:10):
understanding these deal breakers empowers individuals tomake informed decisions about their relationships, ensuring
they align with their deepest values andaspiration. So what our relationship deal breakers?
Relationship deal breakers are essentially non negotiableelements that one or both partners in
(04:32):
a relationship identify as unacceptable, leadingthem to reconsider or in the partnership.
These can range from behaviors to conflictingvalues or goals that are crucial enough to
prevent the relationship from progressing. There'sa doctor by the name of Jolie Silver,
(04:55):
and she emphasizes that a deal breakercould be a seific behavior, aspect,
value, or goal that one partnercannot tolerate. So, when it
comes to understanding negotiables and specifically whenit comes to understanding non negotiables and relationships,
(05:20):
these are basically fundamental beliefs, values, or behaviors that individuals are not
willing to compromise on. These canbe personal such as preferences for physical intimacy
or humor, or more universal acknowledgedissues like abuse or dishonesty. Non negotiables
(05:43):
serve as the backbone of one's relationshipcriteria ensuring that essential personal or ethical standards
are met. For instance, mutualrespect and trust are commonly regarded as non
negotiables that lay the foundation for ahealthy relationship dynamic. Specifically, when it
(06:10):
comes to deal breakers, I wantto briefly touch on personal deal breakers versus
universal ones, or the ones thatsociety typically puts out there. While some
deal breakers are deeply personal and verywidely among individuals, others are universally recognized
(06:31):
as red flags. Personal deal breakersmight include different lifestyle choices or physical attributes,
whereas universal deal breakers and compass behaviorsthat are generally considered harmful or toxic,
such as abuse, or just someonewho's an habitual liar, committing crimes
(06:55):
kids outside of the marriage. Thosethings kind of fall under that. There's
another doctor that I came across whileI was researching this topic, and her
name is Susan Trotter. She pointsout that behaviors like abusive, toxic,
or genuinely harmful actions should never betolerated within their relationship. Now we can
(07:17):
have a whole different conversation on whypeople are in relationships and they stay.
They still tolerate these things. ButI probably go deep into that later on,
so we talked about or I mentionedthat this doctor points out that behaviors
like abusive, toxic, or generallyhurtful actions should never be tolerated within their
(07:43):
relationship. Personal deal breakers are influencedby individual preferences, experiences, and values.
They reflect where a person draws theline in terms of what they can
accept from a partner. For example, a lack of physical chemistry or a
mismatch in humor maybe deal breakers forsome, while others these might not pose
(08:09):
any big issue at all. Now. On the other hand, universal deal
breakers are recognized by most as unacceptableand damaging. These include severe issues like
physical, emotional, financial, orsexual abuse. Recognizing these deal breakers is
(08:30):
crucial, as they signify behaviors thatcan cause significant harm and are generally advised
against in any relationship. Understanding bothpersonal and universal deal breakers helps individuals navigate
their relationships more effectively, ensuring thattheir fundamental values and needs are not compromised.
(08:56):
By identifying what one can and cannottolerate, a person can make informed
decisions about their current and future relationships, aiming for a healthier, more fulfilling
partnership or relationship. Now, whatI want to touch on is just some
(09:18):
of the top deal breakers to lookout for. Some of the top deal
breakers that I came across. Thefirst one is infidelity. Infidelity stands as
a significant breach of trust and it'soften a deceitful and decisive deal breaker and
(09:41):
relationships. The emotional turmoil caused bya partner's unfaithfulness can severely damage the trust
that forms the foundation of a relationship. According to a survey, a staggering
fifty one percent of respondents considered infidelitya critical relationship ender, and this indicates
(10:09):
the profound impact that cheating can have, making it difficult, if not impossible,
to rebuild trust and continue a healthyrelationship dynamic. Now, the next
one that I want to touch onis trust issues. And I think that's
(10:31):
kind of sere explanatory. Because someonebreaks, someone cheats on you, someone
doesn't keep their promise. They cansay that, oh, they would never
harm you, they would never dothis, that and the third to you,
but then they actually do and sothat really feeds and provoke just a
(10:52):
high level of distrust in your partner. Another one that I want to briefly
touch on is conflicting family goals,conflicts over core family values and life goals
such as marriage, children, andlifestyle choices are common deal breakers. Disagreements
may arise from differing views on havingchildren, the number of children, religious
(11:16):
practices, and the involvement of extendedfamily. When partners find themselves consistently at
odds without a resolution in sight,it may indicate a deep rooted incompatibility that
changes the relationships longevity. The lastone that I'm going to touch on as
(11:37):
far as top deal breakers is differentlifestyle expectations. Aligning life goals is essential
for the subtleness of a long termrelationship. Significant differences in lifestyle expectations can
create a rift between partners. Forexample, discrepancies in career goals, family
(12:00):
planning, or preferred living conditions canbe particularly challenging. These differences might include
one partner desiring a settled family lifeand the other one aims for a more
nomadic lifestyle, which can lead topotential deal breakers if not addressed earlier on
(12:20):
in the relationship. Recognizing these topdeal breakers is crucial for individuals to make
informed decisions about their relationships, ensuringthat alignment with personal values and long term
happiness. You want to be equallyyoked and equally yoke. Depending on how
(12:41):
old you are, you probably formost of your life her equally yoke and
assumed it had to do it.Religion is so much more than that.
The next thing I'm going to lookat is the signs that it is time
to walk away. So what signscan you, guys pay attention to?
The first one is constant arguments.One of the most telling signs that it
(13:03):
may be time to consider walking awayfrom the relationships is the prevalence of constant
arguments. These disputes often start overtrivial matters such as not do nudicious,
but can quickly escalate to personal attacksand criticism that target one's character, labeling
a partner as selfish or lazy.This shift from criticizing actions to attacking personality
(13:30):
traits can deeply damage the relationship's foundation. The next one is feeling undervalued or
disrespected. Feeling undervalued or experiencing alack of respect is a critical indicator that
walking away might be necessary. Whenrespect is absent, partners may feel unworthy
(13:54):
and undervalued, leading to emotional distressand a decrease and self esteem. Often,
open and honest communication about these feelingsis very much essential. However,
if disrespectful behavior is a recurring issueand efforts for change are unmet, it
(14:16):
could signify deeper compatibility problems. Theadvice from experts underscores that respect is fundamental
in any relationship, and without it, the partnership is likely unhealthy and unsustainable.
This lack of respect can manifest invarious ways, including partners not appreciating
(14:39):
each other's efforts in a relationship,which might be evident through a lack of
gratitude expressions or a general take forgranted attitude. So you're in a relationship,
you have these deal breakers, thesedeal breakers are violated, and you
(15:01):
recognize the signs that it's time towalk away. But then, how do
you pick up the pieces after you'vedone that? How do you still progress
through life? How do you putone foot in front of the other and
give yourself a chance? Well,I just want to briefly come across two.
Excuse me three. I think importantways that any individual will be able
(15:31):
to move forward after recognizing a dealbreaker and doing something about it. The
first one is self reflection. Afterending a toxic relationship, it is vital
to take time for self reflection Reflectingon past experiences helps in understanding the partners
and behaviors that led to the breakup. This process is not about dwelling on
(15:56):
the past, but about gaining insightsto build a healthier relationship in the future.
Individuals should analyze their personal deal breakers, assessing what they can no longer
tolerate and is sharing these are notcompromised in future relationships. The next one
is support systems. The role ofa support system cannot be overtaken when moving
(16:23):
forward after recognizing a deal breaker.Friends and family can provide essential emotional support,
comfort, and advice during this challengingtime. Sharing experiences with trusted individuals
can offer new perspectives and aid inthe healing process, helping one to find
(16:45):
themselves again. The next one isplanning your future. Planning your future and
navigating away from relationships that no longerserve their best interests, individuals empowered themselves
(17:06):
to seek out partnership that respect theirvalues and emotional needs. This proactive approach
ensures that moving forward, their relationshipswould be more fulfilling and aligned with their
personal aspirations. Now throughout this brieftalk about relationship deal breakers, I feel
(17:30):
like we've underscored the importance of recognizingwhen a boundary has been crossed and when
a partnership may no longer align withone's core values and needs. By identifying
both personal and universal red flags fromissues of trust and respect to incompatible life
goals, we equip ourselves with theknowledge necessary to make informed decisions and to
(17:56):
make informed decisions about our relational wellbeing. Emphasizing the need for self reflection,
the establishment of non negotiables, andthe significance of a supportive environment delienates
a path toward healthier emotional landscapes andmore satisfying partnerships. In the journey of
(18:19):
personal growth and relational navigation, thecourage to walk away from what no longer
serves us emerges as a pivotal steptowards finding fulfillment and joy in future relationships.
The insights gained from recognizing deal breakersnot only encourage a proactive approach to
(18:42):
maintain our emotional health, but alsoinvites us to envision and strive for the
kind of relationships that truly resonate withour deepest aspirations. By valuing ourselves and
our emotional well being, we setthe stage for connections that are rich in
(19:03):
trust, respect, and mutual growth, ultimately leading to a more fulfilled and
harmonious life. Now I got aquote for you, guys. I got
a quote to kind of bring thisall home, or just a quote to
hopefully send you on your way,and you can relate to it in so
much shape or form. So thequote said, let go of grudges,
(19:30):
they make you sad and resentful,Accept the apology you'd never received, and
let go of negative emotions so youcan find your happiness once more.
Well, look at here. Youare listening to someone who is bold,
authentic, diverse, unpredictable. Baby, I am unapologetically ramon and you have
entered my zone, the QB Zone. Baby, Hello, somebody Rockley.
(00:52):
When you think about the relationships thatyou've been in, what are some of
the deal breakers that you had andhave they changed as you've gotten older and
have probably had more or different lifeexperiences if you are a teenager or in
(01:19):
your twenties, or if you werewell, not if you were because if
you're still alive, you was atsome point. But when you were a
teenager or in your twenties, andlet's say you are forty plus, did
your deal breakers change? Why aredeal breakers so important? Yes, I'm
(01:49):
sure you recognize this voice. Thisis your boy with more my keys,
and we are on down to theQB Zone for one more episode. And
as always, or appreciative to youguys for just tuning in and supporting so
as you can probably safely assume,I'm gonna talk about deal breakers today.
(02:10):
In virtually every relationship, the pathto lasting commitment is pepper, with various
challenges that test compatibility, resilience,and the ability to compromise, Yet certain
deal breakers and relationships emerge as insurmountableobstacles, casting long shadows over the future
(02:35):
potential of a partnership. Identifying thesedeal breakers is crucial for maintaining one's emotional
wellbeing and ensuring a healthy dynamic betweenpartners. It's a nuanced conversation that intersects
with core values, neutral respect,and the complexities of human emotions. Find
(03:00):
the pivotal moments when staying becomes moreharmful than parting ways this episode, I
want to delve briefly into the conceptof deal breakers and relationship outline the most
common red flash that signal a needfor reevaluation, ranging from trust issues,
(03:22):
substance abuse and anger management, tocommunication breakdown and lack of respect. I
want to help provide a roadmap forrecognizing when compromised is no longer serving one's
best interest and highlights the importance ofsetting boundaries, engaging in self reflection,
(03:45):
and maintaining an open dialogue about emotionalneeds. Moving forward from recognizing a deal
breaker involves us being able to navigatethe intricate process of separating one's self from
a detrimental situation and embarking on ajourney of personal growth. Now Ultimately,
(04:10):
understanding these deal breakers empowers individuals tomake informed decisions about their relationships, ensuring
they align with their deepest values andaspiration. So what our relationship deal breakers?
Relationship deal breakers are essentially non negotiableelements that one or both partners in
(04:32):
a relationship identify as unacceptable, leadingthem to reconsider or in the partnership.
These can range from behaviors to conflictingvalues or goals that are crucial enough to
prevent the relationship from progressing. There'sa doctor by the name of Jolie Silver,
(04:55):
and she emphasizes that a deal breakercould be a seific behavior, aspect,
value, or goal that one partnercannot tolerate. So, when it
comes to understanding negotiables and specifically whenit comes to understanding non negotiables and relationships,
(05:20):
these are basically fundamental beliefs, values, or behaviors that individuals are not
willing to compromise on. These canbe personal such as preferences for physical intimacy
or humor, or more universal acknowledgedissues like abuse or dishonesty. Non negotiables
(05:43):
serve as the backbone of one's relationshipcriteria ensuring that essential personal or ethical standards
are met. For instance, mutualrespect and trust are commonly regarded as non
negotiables that lay the foundation for ahealthy relationship dynamic. Specifically, when it
(06:10):
comes to deal breakers, I wantto briefly touch on personal deal breakers versus
universal ones, or the ones thatsociety typically puts out there. While some
deal breakers are deeply personal and verywidely among individuals, others are universally recognized
(06:31):
as red flags. Personal deal breakersmight include different lifestyle choices or physical attributes,
whereas universal deal breakers and compass behaviorsthat are generally considered harmful or toxic,
such as abuse, or just someonewho's an habitual liar, committing crimes
(06:55):
kids outside of the marriage. Thosethings kind of fall under that. There's
another doctor that I came across whileI was researching this topic, and her
name is Susan Trotter. She pointsout that behaviors like abusive, toxic,
or genuinely harmful actions should never betolerated within their relationship. Now we can
(07:17):
have a whole different conversation on whypeople are in relationships and they stay.
They still tolerate these things. ButI probably go deep into that later on,
so we talked about or I mentionedthat this doctor points out that behaviors
like abusive, toxic, or generallyhurtful actions should never be tolerated within their
(07:43):
relationship. Personal deal breakers are influencedby individual preferences, experiences, and values.
They reflect where a person draws theline in terms of what they can
accept from a partner. For example, a lack of physical chemistry or a
mismatch in humor maybe deal breakers forsome, while others these might not pose
(08:09):
any big issue at all. Now. On the other hand, universal deal
breakers are recognized by most as unacceptableand damaging. These include severe issues like
physical, emotional, financial, orsexual abuse. Recognizing these deal breakers is
(08:30):
crucial, as they signify behaviors thatcan cause significant harm and are generally advised
against in any relationship. Understanding bothpersonal and universal deal breakers helps individuals navigate
their relationships more effectively, ensuring thattheir fundamental values and needs are not compromised.
(08:56):
By identifying what one can and cannottolerate, a person can make informed
decisions about their current and future relationships, aiming for a healthier, more fulfilling
partnership or relationship. Now, whatI want to touch on is just some
(09:18):
of the top deal breakers to lookout for. Some of the top deal
breakers that I came across. Thefirst one is infidelity. Infidelity stands as
a significant breach of trust and it'soften a deceitful and decisive deal breaker and
(09:41):
relationships. The emotional turmoil caused bya partner's unfaithfulness can severely damage the trust
that forms the foundation of a relationship. According to a survey, a staggering
fifty one percent of respondents considered infidelitya critical relationship ender, and this indicates
(10:09):
the profound impact that cheating can have, making it difficult, if not impossible,
to rebuild trust and continue a healthyrelationship dynamic. Now, the next
one that I want to touch onis trust issues. And I think that's
(10:31):
kind of sere explanatory. Because someonebreaks, someone cheats on you, someone
doesn't keep their promise. They cansay that, oh, they would never
harm you, they would never dothis, that and the third to you,
but then they actually do and sothat really feeds and provoke just a
(10:52):
high level of distrust in your partner. Another one that I want to briefly
touch on is conflicting family goals,conflicts over core family values and life goals
such as marriage, children, andlifestyle choices are common deal breakers. Disagreements
may arise from differing views on havingchildren, the number of children, religious
(11:16):
practices, and the involvement of extendedfamily. When partners find themselves consistently at
odds without a resolution in sight,it may indicate a deep rooted incompatibility that
changes the relationships longevity. The lastone that I'm going to touch on as
(11:37):
far as top deal breakers is differentlifestyle expectations. Aligning life goals is essential
for the subtleness of a long termrelationship. Significant differences in lifestyle expectations can
create a rift between partners. Forexample, discrepancies in career goals, family
(12:00):
planning, or preferred living conditions canbe particularly challenging. These differences might include
one partner desiring a settled family lifeand the other one aims for a more
nomadic lifestyle, which can lead topotential deal breakers if not addressed earlier on
(12:20):
in the relationship. Recognizing these topdeal breakers is crucial for individuals to make
informed decisions about their relationships, ensuringthat alignment with personal values and long term
happiness. You want to be equallyyoked and equally yoke. Depending on how
(12:41):
old you are, you probably formost of your life her equally yoke and
assumed it had to do it.Religion is so much more than that.
The next thing I'm going to lookat is the signs that it is time
to walk away. So what signscan you, guys pay attention to?
The first one is constant arguments.One of the most telling signs that it
(13:03):
may be time to consider walking awayfrom the relationships is the prevalence of constant
arguments. These disputes often start overtrivial matters such as not do nudicious,
but can quickly escalate to personal attacksand criticism that target one's character, labeling
a partner as selfish or lazy.This shift from criticizing actions to attacking personality
(13:30):
traits can deeply damage the relationship's foundation. The next one is feeling undervalued or
disrespected. Feeling undervalued or experiencing alack of respect is a critical indicator that
walking away might be necessary. Whenrespect is absent, partners may feel unworthy
(13:54):
and undervalued, leading to emotional distressand a decrease and self esteem. Often,
open and honest communication about these feelingsis very much essential. However,
if disrespectful behavior is a recurring issueand efforts for change are unmet, it
(14:16):
could signify deeper compatibility problems. Theadvice from experts underscores that respect is fundamental
in any relationship, and without it, the partnership is likely unhealthy and unsustainable.
This lack of respect can manifest invarious ways, including partners not appreciating
(14:39):
each other's efforts in a relationship,which might be evident through a lack of
gratitude expressions or a general take forgranted attitude. So you're in a relationship,
you have these deal breakers, thesedeal breakers are violated, and you
(15:01):
recognize the signs that it's time towalk away. But then, how do
you pick up the pieces after you'vedone that? How do you still progress
through life? How do you putone foot in front of the other and
give yourself a chance? Well,I just want to briefly come across two.
Excuse me three. I think importantways that any individual will be able
(15:31):
to move forward after recognizing a dealbreaker and doing something about it. The
first one is self reflection. Afterending a toxic relationship, it is vital
to take time for self reflection Reflectingon past experiences helps in understanding the partners
and behaviors that led to the breakup. This process is not about dwelling on
(15:56):
the past, but about gaining insightsto build a healthier relationship in the future.
Individuals should analyze their personal deal breakers, assessing what they can no longer
tolerate and is sharing these are notcompromised in future relationships. The next one
is support systems. The role ofa support system cannot be overtaken when moving
(16:23):
forward after recognizing a deal breaker.Friends and family can provide essential emotional support,
comfort, and advice during this challengingtime. Sharing experiences with trusted individuals
can offer new perspectives and aid inthe healing process, helping one to find
(16:45):
themselves again. The next one isplanning your future. Planning your future and
navigating away from relationships that no longerserve their best interests, individuals empowered themselves
(17:06):
to seek out partnership that respect theirvalues and emotional needs. This proactive approach
ensures that moving forward, their relationshipswould be more fulfilling and aligned with their
personal aspirations. Now throughout this brieftalk about relationship deal breakers, I feel
(17:30):
like we've underscored the importance of recognizingwhen a boundary has been crossed and when
a partnership may no longer align withone's core values and needs. By identifying
both personal and universal red flags fromissues of trust and respect to incompatible life
goals, we equip ourselves with theknowledge necessary to make informed decisions and to
(17:56):
make informed decisions about our relational wellbeing. Emphasizing the need for self reflection,
the establishment of non negotiables, andthe significance of a supportive environment delienates
a path toward healthier emotional landscapes andmore satisfying partnerships. In the journey of
(18:19):
personal growth and relational navigation, thecourage to walk away from what no longer
serves us emerges as a pivotal steptowards finding fulfillment and joy in future relationships.
The insights gained from recognizing deal breakersnot only encourage a proactive approach to
(18:42):
maintain our emotional health, but alsoinvites us to envision and strive for the
kind of relationships that truly resonate withour deepest aspirations. By valuing ourselves and
our emotional well being, we setthe stage for connections that are rich in
(19:03):
trust, respect, and mutual growth, ultimately leading to a more fulfilled and
harmonious life. Now I got aquote for you, guys. I got
a quote to kind of bring thisall home, or just a quote to
hopefully send you on your way,and you can relate to it in so
much shape or form. So thequote said, let go of grudges,
(19:30):
they make you sad and resentful,Accept the apology you'd never received, and
let go of negative emotions so youcan find your happiness once more.
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