Season 3 Episode 19 - Spin The Block

This episode is about what can be the transformative power of giving true love another chance. We share practical tips to rebuild trust, heal from past wounds, and nurture a relationship that surpasses your wildest dreams. 
 

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Well, look at here. Youare listening to someone who is bold,
authentic, diverse, unpredictable. Baby, I am unapologetically ramon and you have
entered my zone, the QB zone. Baby, Hello, somebody Rockley.

(00:52):
You know, there's this saying thatif it comes back around, you knew
what was meant to be. Andone can also say, which I know
is something that is said a lotin today's time, and I think it's
been a phrase that people have usedfor you know, some years now,
but it's basically spend the block orspinning the block, And basically that means

(01:17):
someone that you are in a relationshipthat they're coming back around, that interice
is still there, they want togive it another try, or you don't
took your book back over there,and you thinking about giving somebody another chance
love, giving love a second chance. That is what I want to talk

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about today. And you know,in a world full of transient connections and
fleeting romances, fighting true love andholding on to it can seem like an
impossible dream. Relationships often face challenges, trust issues, heartbreak, and the

(02:00):
need for healing and forgiveness. Butwhat if someone told you that giving true
love another chance could lead to themost fulfilling relationship goals you've ever had.
I want to go through some reasonsfive actually, why a person should consider

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reopening their heart to the possibility ofa love that is genuine and lasting.
And it's coming back around for thesecond time. So the first reason embracing
vulnerability. Being guarded is a defensemechanism that we develop to shield ourselves from

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potential pain. However, true loverequires vulnerability. By allowing yourself to be
open and authentic with your partner,you create a foundation built on trust and
honesty. Embracing vulnerability is the firststep towards healing past wounds and fostering a
new and deeper connection. And someways that you can do this, you

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know, because some people it's veryhard being vulnerable. I'm definitely one of
them. So some ways doing thispractice letting your values guide you, not
your worry or anxiety. Remind yourselfof what you value and what is meaningful
to you in life. In otherwords, what is the why behind your

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behavior. The next way to practiceembracing vulnerability is to actively seek to learn
about yourself, get to know youbetter. What are your preferences, needs,
desires, what matters most to youwhen do you feel most energized.
It is very important to make ita conscious effort to get to know you

(03:59):
so you can know the way inwhich you need to protect you. Lastly,
give yourself permission to be yourself.Remind yourself that we are all human
and we are all imperfect. Andif you need to repeat helpful statements to
yourself every day to facilitate that permissiongiving, then do it like I am

(04:21):
human or I don't have to pologizefor who I am. Just any positive,
helpful statement. Listen if it works, saying it to yourself every day,
I think that's a wonderful thing.The second way or the second reason
behind giving love a second chance andtry to have it be successful because God

(04:46):
forbid you give it a second chanceand it's worse thing before, or nothing
has improved the same or crap.But the second way, make sure you
communicate with compassion. Communication is keyin any relationship, which we all know
that, but it becomes even morecritical when trying to rebuild a connection.
Take the time to listen actively toyour partner's feelings and concerns, express yourself

(05:10):
with compassion and understanding. Create anenvironment where both of y'all can feel heard
and valued. Effective communication can bridgethe gap caused by previous misunderstandings and nurture
a renewed sense of closeness. Forgiveness, this is a big one, because

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this relationship has not come back around, or this opportunity this person has not
come back around. That's the potentialyou're willing to possibly consider entertain intment together.
But depending on what happened that causedthe pre relationship to no longer exist,
you may have to make sure thatyou have probably forgiven and moving on

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and forgiveness be very hard. Forgivenessis a powerful tool that can mend even
the deepest wounds. Letting go ofresentment and grudges paves the way for healing
and growth within a new relationship orrelationship to Porto, by offering forgiveness and
seeking it in return, you createspace for a fresh start based on understanding

(06:25):
and empathy. Remember, forgiving doesn'tmean forgetting, but rather the children to
move forward without the weight of thepast. Forgiveness is very important. So
I actually want to touch on thata little bit more because I know it's
and a plethora of my relationships andlet's be clear, not even just the

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romantic ones, the ones with friends, the ones with family. Forgiveness can
be very hard, but just puttingit to the side. I know we're
talking about giving love a chance,but putting that to the side, there
are actual benefits for just having thishigh level of forgiveness within yourself, like

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legit health benefits. There's a websitecalled Calm dot com c a l m
dot com, and they actually mentionhow we as humans can benefit ourselves when
we forgive. The first thing isforgiveness promotes mental health and well being.

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Letting go of grudges and resentment canreduce depression, stress, and anxiety as
part of self care. Forgiveness canalso improve emotional well being and help you
develop a more successful and low stresslevel type of life. And when it's

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lower stress levels that can help immunesystem. You know, it can help
reduce anxiety, which can help lowerblood pressure. A lot of times,
there's so much anger that's involved,and anger has been associated with increased inflammation
in the body as we age.You know, giving that resentment because we

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reduce our susceptibility to inflammation related illnesses, heart disease, even cancer. The
next one is forgiveness improves relationships.Forgiveness enhances self esteem and self love.
Forgiveness cultivates empathy and compassion for others. Forgiveness can help you break free from

(08:41):
the past. So whatever this relationshipdid to you, forgiving you can help
me move on now. When itcomes to forgiveness, I feel like it
can be broken down. Well,I don't feel like, but the website
states that forgiveness can actually be donewith what's the four rs? The process
of forgiving? The process of forgivingcan be accomplished with the four RS,

(09:09):
and the first are. The firststep in this process is responsibility. The
first step are taking responsibility for anypart that you contribute to an argument or
conflict. Maybe you play no partin the conflict at all, after all,
sometimes other people can project their hurtand their emotions unto us to try

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to feel better themselves. More oftenthan not, with general misunderstandings, arguments
and debates, we can acknowledge thepart we played. Maybe we didn't listen
mindfully, maybe we just jump intoconclusions. Just if you need to take
responsibility, just really do the deepself assessment and there's anything that you can
take responsibility for, do that.The next one is remorse. The second

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R is remorse. If it's appropriateto feel remorseful for what happened, create
some space for that. It mightbe painful and you might walk through feelings
of shame, but that's all partof being human. Give yourself that time
to feel frustrated with yourself or togrieve, but don't forget the self compassion,
peace that would move you towards aplace of action where you can work

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to remedy the situation if appropriate.And the next ARE is restoration. If
you hurt someone else in the conflict, it's important to apologize for your part,
even if you also want an apologyfrom them. It takes vulnerability,
courage, and strength to go firstwhen apologizing, but be open to it.

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It can be empowering. It's alsoimportant to let go of defensiveness and
truly communicate how you are or worthfeeling. By letting the other person know
how you feel or felt, you'reallowing space for communication and understanding. The

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last R, the fourth R,renewal. After forgiving someone, it's important
to move forward. Renewal is allabout moving forward with an open heart and
open mind and really committing to puttingthe conflict behind you. If you still
have more to say or communicate,be sure to do all of that before

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you move into the renewal phase.So those four rs for the process of
forgiveness, responsibility, remorse and renewal. When it comes to forgiving, do

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we know how to do? Wetruly know how to forgive and let go?
When you think of things that you'vehad to move through or move past,
how did you get to the placewhere you were able to forgive it
and let it go? Well,it's something specific you had to do.
Was it did it come easy foryou? Was a little difficult? What

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were your ways that you practice orexhibited forgiveness? W Well, there are
eight eight ways that I came acrossthat people can practice forgiveness. They can

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take that walk of forgiving someone andletting it go. Because listen, when
it comes to forgiveness, it cantake a few minutes or it can take
a few years. It is alsonormal to how to repeat the process or
take it in staggered increments. Theact of forgiveness requires for patience and a
lot of self love. But therewards it's a peaceful mind, improvement to

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health, stronger relationships, and alife free from the shackles of resentment,
which means it's undoubtedly worth it totry to forgive. Here's how you can
begin to walk through the process.Before I go through that, let me
just say this. Forgiveness does notequite trust. Forgiveness does not mean you
got a fool with the person everagain. Okay, So the first way

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to practice forgiveness is acknowledge the situation. If you recently felt betrayed, mis
understood, rejected, or deceived,take some time to consider what happened,
What are the conflict about. Whatis the conflict about? How did it
make you feel? Did you havea part in it that you need to
acknowledge? The second one, nameyour feelings and practice self compassion. Some

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listen. Sometimes understanding the source ofpain helps to sort out and to soften
our stance towards forgiveness. Offer yourselfcompassion, even if you had a part
in a confident or disagreement. Youare human and we all make mistakes.
Number three, let it out.Don't bother up your feelings about it.

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Let it out. Bothering up yourfeeling is a one way ticket to continued
frustration, anger, and resentment.When you feel hurt, it's important to
get it out. While it's generallynot appropriate to scream and yell at someone
who's upset you, you can writeyour raw feelings down in a letter that
you don't send or in a journal. Establish Number four. Establish clear boundaries

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forgiving others. It is important,but protect your mental health and well being
is also of paramount importance. Forgivingdoesn't mean allowing people to continue hurting you,
so make sure to establish healthy,healthy boundaries to protect yourself from further
harm, and clear communication about yourneeds and your limits. The fifth one.

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The fifth step in the process offorgiveness is communicate to equate closure.
Communicate to create closure. Sometimes seekingclosure by expressing your feelings to the person
who hurt you can't facilitate forgiveness.Closure can be particularly beneficial when dealing with

(15:37):
a family member or loved one,creating a space for open dialogue and mutual
understanding going forward. Seven Seek notseven six I'm so sorry. Six Seek
support. It's okay to ask forhelp. Talking to friends, family,
or a mental health professional can giveyou the support and guidance needed doing this

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emotional journey. Remember, forgiveness isnot a one time event, but a
continuous process. Of choosing love,especially self love, and understanding our anger
and resentment. Number seven, findthe lesson and reclaim your power. Forgiving

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is empowering. It allows you torelease the power of the offender and releasing
the power that they hold over youremotions, enabling you to regain control over
your feelings and life. By forgiving, you choose peace over pain, growth
over stagnation, and free yourself fromresentment. There are also many things to

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be learned by the conflicts we experience. Sometimes those lessons are simply about increasing
our boundaries and self care. Andlastly, the eighth step in doing this
is simply about separating the doer fromwhat was done. Separating the doer from

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what was done. Learning to separatethe doer from the deed can help diminish
the impact of the wrong done toyou. With that said, if you
are experiencing a major hurt or betrayal, it might be helpful to talk with
your mental health provider about the bestway to do this. You don't want
to rationalize away your hurt if youhaven't fully processed it yet. So those

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are the steps on how to practiceforgiveness and listen. That is a very
important step that is step or notstep. But that's a very important subject
matter forgiveness just on many levels,but specifically as it pertains to possibly given
love a second chance. You definitelywant to make sure you've moved on for

(18:02):
whatever has happened in the past.So listen, if you wanted to check
out anything I just provided to you, or just anything additional, because there
was a lot of material on thatsite. You can all check out Calm
dot com c A l M dotcom. So our fourth step of our
next subject in giving a love asecond chance, make sure you cultivate trust.

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Trust is at the core of everystrong and enduring relationship. If trust
issues have plagged your connection in thepast, working on rebuilding that trust is
essential. Consistency, transparency, andreliability are key elements, and cultivating that
by demonstrating your truiceworthiness and showing faithin your partner, you lay the groundwork

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for a relationship found it on mutualrespect and secure. And lastly, the
last one, the last way,the last step, the last point in
this process of giving love a secondchance. You want to celebrate love.

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You want to celebrate love. Rememberto celebrate the love you share acknowledge the
efforts you both are putting into nurturingyour relationship, and take moments to appreciate
each other. Small gestures of loveand kindness go a long way in reinforcing
the bond between partners. By focusingon the positive aspect of your connection and

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celebrating the love you have, youcan create a relationship that is resilient,
fulfilling, and enduring. True loveis a journey that requires patience, effort,
and a willingness to overcome obstacles.By giving love another chance, you
can open up yourself to the possipityof the relationship that is deeper, more
meaningful, and worth fighting for.Trust in the power of healing and forgiveness,

(20:04):
and genuine connection to God. Youtoward the relationship goals you've always dreamed
of. So take a leap offaith, break down your walls, and
allow yourself to love again. Thetrue love is waiting for you, and
it's worth every risk. In everymoment of vulnerability, give love a chance,

(20:27):
give love another chance, and watchhow to transform your life in ways
you never thought possible. Remember,the greatest love stories are those that have
weather the storms and emerge stronger onthe other side. Do you think yours
would be the next tale of truelove triumphing against all odds. So so

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close out this episode of the QBZone. You know I got a quote
this time, I actually got twofor you. So the first quote says,
a great relationship is about two things. First appreciating the similarities and second,

(21:11):
respecting the differences. The next quote, in a relationship, you have
to be okay, we're sharing theparts of you that are unlovable. Then
believe then when they say they lovethose parts too,