August 26, 2025 • 35 mins
Part 2 with Greg Burdulis is here!
In this follow-up conversation, we go even deeper—exploring:
- What meditation really is and how it works
- The relationship between meditation and mindfulness
- Understanding mindfulness in everyday life
We also talk about:
- Self-love
- Self-kindness
- Self-compassion … and how to support yourself through life’s most difficult moments.
Greg shares wisdom on working with “unwanted” experiences—and how mindfulness can help us meet them with more ease and presence.
Plus—you’re invited to join us for a 5-minute guided meditation you can revisit anytime you need a quiet, undisturbed reset.
Watch Greg’s TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/greg_burdulis_the_power_of_presence
Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregburdulis@gregburdulis
In this follow-up conversation, we go even deeper—exploring:
- What meditation really is and how it works
- The relationship between meditation and mindfulness
- Understanding mindfulness in everyday life
We also talk about:
- Self-love
- Self-kindness
- Self-compassion … and how to support yourself through life’s most difficult moments.
Greg shares wisdom on working with “unwanted” experiences—and how mindfulness can help us meet them with more ease and presence.
Plus—you’re invited to join us for a 5-minute guided meditation you can revisit anytime you need a quiet, undisturbed reset.
Watch Greg’s TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/greg_burdulis_the_power_of_presence
Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregburdulis@gregburdulis
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to The Rewrite, a podcast about divorce, choice and
new beginnings. I'm your host Wendy Sloan, former TV producer,
mom of two and one.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Sweet golden retriever.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is a space for real talk about the moments
that break us, the choices that define us, and the
power we have to begin again. You'll hear personal stories,
heartfelt insights, and honest conversations about healing relationships and reclaiming
your life one choice at a time. I'll be joined
by experts in divorce, finance, mental health, wellness and more
(00:33):
and everything you need to support your next chapter. The
most powerful chapters might be the ones you write next.
Let's begin your rewrite together. This episode is brought to
impart by the Needle Kuda Law Firm guidance that moves
lives forward. Welcome back to the Rewrite. I'm your host
Wendy Sloan. Today we're picking up right where we left
off with Greg Burdulis, former monk and mindfulness mentor, as
(00:56):
we dive back into our conversation about presence, healing and meditation.
In part one, Greg walked us through his journey and
even led a powerful guided meditation. In this episode, we
continue unpacking how mindfulness helps us reconnect with ourselves, especially
in moments of transition.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Okay, I want to speak briefly about meditation. Meditation is
a little bit like going to the gym, because it
helps your body to be healthy. And in this case,
meditation is to mindfulness, like going to the gym is
(01:35):
being healthy for your body. Meditation increases the capacity for mindfulness.
In the shortest sentence I have to describe mindfulness, I'd
(01:57):
say mindfulness is is the process of awakening more and
more and more and to that extent, also less and
less and less, less and less of being caught up
(02:19):
in the stories of the mind less and less caught
up in the pain of a certain situation, more and
more able to have a larger view, more and more
able to see the possible potential benefits of this very
(02:41):
situation that is difficult, less and less likely to cave
into or collapse into a constricted mental state that is
afraid or that is blaming the world for my suffering.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
So, someone that's going through life transitions, divorce, separation, loss,
and so on, what are some simple tools and practices
that can support this?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, okay, so the loss divorce, and the other things
that you listed are from my perspective, examples of unwanted experience.
Even if you want the divorce, the process of getting
divorced is not easy or preferable. So there's an example
(03:48):
of what the Buddha was talking about. So in terms
of simple processes, here's the thing, at least as far
as I can tell. The time to engage with mindfulness.
Hang on, let me put it differently. Those situations that
(04:11):
you describe, mindfulness is going to be extremely helpful, and
the time to engage with mindfulness, to train with mindfulness
is before the hardship gets so dreadfully hard. So you
(04:31):
do your training before that if you can. If you
listen to this podcast, if what you're hearing from us
makes sense to you the listener, then you begin your
training and mindfulness. And by the way, most of us
or I don't know about most of us, but some
(04:53):
of us already have a sense of mindfulness and have
some sense of training in mindfulness. Great that that's what
we continue to do. Okay, So there's one response is
valuing mindfulness and training in mindfulness before the difficult situation arises.
(05:18):
But there's two other things that are vital, but also
need a kind of time frame where the processes have
enough time and repetition to actually make a difference in
one of them you mentioned earlier. Self love, self directed
(05:44):
kindness that is not based on your judgment of perfection
or anybody else's judgment or standard. Pause for a moment
to consider how the sun shines for you or on you,
whether you're deserving or of sunshine or not the sun.
(06:05):
That does not matter to the sun, your claim that
you're deserving or you're not deserving. The sun is still shining.
There's there is love for you that is the same.
(06:26):
It comes your way, whether you think you deserve it
or not. How to be in touch with that To
some extent, self love is a conduit for this greater love,
and so developing a conduit that is flexible, that is strong,
(06:51):
that is wide, is a dimension of self care that
is creating more and more space for that love to
come through. So there are distinct practices that offer the
(07:12):
capacity to or offer training to develop self directed kindness,
which can be so difficult when we have a negative
self view or we have critical voices. So it's part
(07:34):
of the part of the ability to deal with difficult
situations includes the capacity to support oneself, particularly as we're
going through difficult situations. And one of the dimensions of
(07:54):
this that has a different name or a slightly different
take is self compassion, the capacity to recognize difficulty suffering
and the capacity to develop kindness towards oneself. So there
(08:16):
are lots of meditations that offer that help us develop
self kindness, whether it's through self love or self compassion,
and it training ourselves this way doesn't require lots of time,
(08:40):
but repetition over time is really really helpful.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Let's take a quick break.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
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pick up where we left off just before the break.
Can you take us through a little meditation, a five
(10:14):
minute agation?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, yeah, great, let's do that so it will be yeah, okay,
So I'm I'm doing this for you and me and
you the listener, You the listener, I'd like you to
(10:35):
be in a situation where you can give attention to
internal processes without endangering yourself for others. So if you're driving,
don't do this right now. Wait until you can take
a walk, or until you can sit in relative silence
and relatively undisturbed. Okay. So I'm going to offer this
(11:03):
as if you're sitting, but you could be standing, you
could be lying down, you could even be walking, So
you please adapt to your current situation. Okay. So if
you're sitting, pick a couple of breaths that are a
little deeper and slower than normal, and you might notice
(11:23):
already there's a settling of your nervous system a little bit.
There's a way of slowing down internally as the breath lengthens.
Like you to turn attention to how your belly is
(11:44):
rising with the inhalation and falling or settling with the exhalation.
It's there ordinary sensations. There's nothing unusual about these sensations.
And during this practice you probably will notice attention going
(12:06):
towards thoughts. That's okay. In fact, that's great to be
able to recognize how awareness is able to connect and
recognize something as ephemeral and quick as a thought. Okay,
so we're back to the belly rising and falling, and
(12:27):
now include the chest and that rise and fall, and
check to see if your back is expanding and settling
with each breath. So while you're doing that, I want
(12:49):
to explain that what we're doing is pretty simple. We're
bringing attention to the body, to the physicality of our existence.
We're not saying they're no thinking. We're not saying there
are no emotions. We're having a particular focus that is
relatively benign, relatively neutral sensations. Okay, all right, So from here,
(13:15):
would you put one hand over your heart and the
other hand over that one. Would you think about somebody
that benefits you, that somehow their presence in your life
makes your life better. It could be a barista, it
(13:38):
could be your lover, it could be a saint. Just
notice how that feels in your body while you're bringing
this person to mind. Yeah, this is part of being
(14:01):
able to notice delight the small things in life. Notice
how there's a little more expansion in your heart area,
maybe a little sense of warmth. You're holding this particular
person in your mind and you're feeling the difference in
your body. Yeah, okay, So from here, would you say
(14:25):
these sentences after me, May you be happy, May you
be happy, May you be healthy, May be healthy. May
you be free from suffering.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
May be free from suffering.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
May you live with ease, May you live with ease. Okay,
So just let those sentences settle a little bit, and
notice to what ext they are expressions of your appreciation,
your love for this person. This is a verbal demonstration
(15:12):
of good will and positive intent. So we're going to
do that again. Remember your thinking of somebody that delights you,
makes you happy. It could be a different person this
time around, and it could be a dog or a
(15:34):
cat or a parrot, somebody that delights you. You can
feel your heart blossom a little bit just when they
enter your mind, and to this being say, may you
be happy, May you be healthy, May you be free
(15:57):
of suffering. May you live a life of ease. Okay. So,
to the extent that any of what we talked about
(16:17):
is real for you, let that settle in your system,
that there's somebody you love and that there's kindness that
easily flows from you towards them. Okay. So here's the
other part of the practice is to imagine this person,
(16:43):
this being in front of you, and that they are
settled and calm, content and awake, and they sense you
before them, and they turn to you and with their eyes,
(17:09):
their face and their heart, they say to you, may
you be happy, and you feel that come in. They
say to you, may you be healthy, and you feel
your body blessed by them from the inside. You feel
(17:34):
them say may you be free of suffering, and you
feel the weight like dirt coming off your body, and
they say, may you live a life of ease, and
you feel internally, how something lets go a little bit
and there's a little more room, a little more ease inside,
(18:03):
and you take a slow, deep breath because you know
they're going to do it again, and so you're gonna
get as ready as you can to receive their kindness,
their smile, their beaming love, and they say you, May
you be happy, and you feel it come in and
(18:24):
it settles you. May you be healthy, and you feel
your muscles, your bones, your digestive system, your nervous system
all take in that appreciation, that well wishing, and they
(18:48):
say to you, may you be free of suffering. And
you know now that this is aimed towards your mind
and your heart, and you rise up to agree, Yes, yes,
free of suffering. May you live a life of ease
(19:09):
and you feel your system softening and relaxing. Yes, yes,
a life of ease. So let your whole body, your heart,
and your mind absorb and savor this experience and how
(19:33):
it feels right now, be able to touch this, Let
this be real, Let this matter to you. Okay, and
from here, let your hands come down, let your eyes
(19:55):
come open, and be ready to continue interacting with each
other and the podcast. Wendy, there's an example of a
kind of practice that changes us from the inside out.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
It's a happy existence. You said that when you when
you paint the picture of what we talked about.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
The simple things, yeah, that can bring us joy and
also basing the hard things.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Yeah, yeah, that meditation did not negate or go around
hard things. A life of ease and the absence of
suffering does not mean the app sense of hardship or difficulty.
(21:03):
I mean the ease that we're talking about. It sure
is nice when things are easy, and is not always
that way. How to be awake when it's not, and
to be responsive instead of reactive. That is part of
what mindfulness offers and meditation practice trains.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Amazing. There's so much more to talk about with you, Greg.
But my last question to you, and not last, but
not least, because I will have you back again and
again and again in your view, what does it truly
mean to rewrite your life?
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Okay? So I'm going to take that very personally, like
we're going to talk about what does it mean to
Greg to rewrite his life? Okay. First of all, my
answer to that question includes knowing that I don't have
(22:22):
a full answer yet, that I am in the process
of learning what it means to rewrite my life. Okay,
So that's part one. So I want to clarify that
whatever I have to say next is not comprehensive. I
want to include this dimension of curiosity and openness that
(22:46):
allows the entire process to redefine itself as I go.
So that's part one. Part two is it is for
(23:12):
me related to openness about what life brings to me.
I really like this notion of responding to life instead
of reacting to life, such that the aging, sickness, and
(23:33):
death are opportunities to learn to become more graceful, to
develop fortitude, which is a form of kindness. It's a
form of kindness to myself to not collapse into self pity, blame, shame,
(23:56):
or complaining or overwhelm. It's a form of kindness to
others that I don't dwell in those states. Rewriting my
life the tremendous opportunity that is in that sentence. It
(24:25):
creates in me a font of optimism and that sees
a bright future even while difficulties are certain to emerge. Yes, Yes,
How to be happy and healthy and loving even when
(24:54):
there's less and less hair on my head and I
need to wear glasses now the aging process continues. Loss
will happen, death will happen. How to be able to
say yes with an open and friendly heart. Rewriting my
(25:18):
life moves me in this direction consciously, deliberately and gratefully. Okay, Wendy,
(25:39):
that's today's answer.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
That's well said, well said.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
See the suns, see that smell of flowers, see the
beauty all around us every day, and try to live
every day.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
But face.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
The negative and all the bad stuff because it's going
to happen, But face that as well.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And watch how the definition of bad
shifts like watch how whatever is bad also has an opportunity.
Somewhere in that experience, there is opportunity to learn or
(26:28):
to train like that. That's amazing to have that attitude,
because then whatever shows up, however awful it is, it's
not only awful. There's more than that.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
And that is the reason I do the podcast. It begins,
this is what happened to me, this is what I did,
and this is how I got to the other side.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Yeah, when do we need people like you to be
able to tell us of their personal experience, Because when
we face loss, divorce, and death, it can be overwhelming,
and we need to hear stories of people that have
survived and come on the other side thriving of the
(27:21):
very same situation that is knocking us down, cutting us
off at the knees, keeping us from sleeping and getting
up and facing another awful, awful day. So, Wendy, I'm
so glad you're doing this work. I'm so glad for
its effects in our world.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
That means the world to me. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
It's also knowing that you're not alone, knowing that that's
who went for this. And I would say that ninety
five percent of the people that come here to speak
on the podcast and to share their story have been
that they are in as they are in this space
because of what happened to them, and they wouldn't be
(28:04):
doing what they're doing. I wouldn't be having a podcast
on divorced if I hadn't gotten divorced. Yeah, yeah, Yes,
we're all on life's journeys.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I also would like to add
that you're using the difficulty, the painful circumstance, to be
part of your healing, and not only your healing, but
our healing too. There's part of the transformation that creates
that transforms the painful divorce into something that is fruitful,
(28:45):
fruitful in that it's nourishing to you and others. That's that,
to me, is the essence of what rewriting offers. It
doesn't deny any of the difficulty, but it doesn't stay there.
It's not stuck there. There's a transformation into somehow this
(29:10):
difficulty reforms itself in our minds and hearts and bodies
into something fruitful, and this podcast is a living example
of that.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Well, that's one of the biggest compliments ever, besides what
you said to me that we talked about right before
we went to air that you said to me that
you see blue skies in me. You said that, and
that was probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
And I want people that are listening, that come here
(29:47):
to know that they're not alone and that there are
blue skies out there. And I want them to be
able to see that when they can't see it, because
sometimes you're so stuck in your grief and your trauma
and what's happening that you can't get there.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah, you can't see it and you can't see that.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
You can rewrite once, twice, three times, four times.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
You're still rewriting.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
I'm still rewriting my story and we will continue to
do that.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
So you are a living example. You are a role
model for us, not that you set yourself up to be,
but if we look at your story, you're showing how
a painful circumstance evolves into something that is meaningful to
(30:42):
you and it's helpful to others.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yes, I always said it's how you rise. Right, you
can get beat down, but it's how you rise.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Yeah, And the Zen people have their own version of this,
which is all down seven, get up.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Eighth, I like that and everything and everything that you like,
all the stuff that you're talking about has come into
my life more and more, which is why so important
to have you on the show. All it's more more mindfulness,
(31:24):
which is so important.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
Wendy, you're talking now about your personal experience. What about mindfulness?
How has that been valuable to you? Oh? In so
many ways, go for the simple ones.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Oh, it's just.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I try to always look at the bright side of everything,
no matter what it is. I try to find and
purpose in everything that I do and in the way
I live my life, even more so after I lost
my father, because I want I know that he would
be so proud of me, and he always was and
(32:16):
he would and I always want to honor how he
lived his life.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
And how I teach my children.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
And just in the simple ways, is being kind, being
kind to people because you get it back. You have
to be a good friend to have good friends. Just
being mindful and the way I live my life and
the way I try to live my life and a
happy happiness. And I think if you have that in you,
(32:46):
the happiness and the joy you spread it.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
I don't know if that was the answer You're.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Looking for I always looking for Wendy's answer.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
That's great, that was my answer.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
It's what you it's what you teach, it's what you're
passionate about. Is why we connect. You and I connected.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, but I.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Still there's so much more Greg, Greg bourdoulis as a speaker, facilitator,
mindful mentor after leaving a successful career, and we didn't
talk much about that either. You spent seven years as
a Buddhist monk, including Silent and Silent retreat, and we
didn't touch on that.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
So you're going to come back again because I want
to hear.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
I want to hear about all of that and that
led you to today, and as you continue to rewrite
your story, I welcome you back often and always.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
May I make a suggestion for the next episode or
a session that we that you, the listener, if you
have questions or comments or disagreements, that you get them
to Wendy so that they can be part of our
(34:15):
next conversation. So that's one way for you the listener,
to be more involved in this conversation and you get
to have input to.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Thank you so much. You're welcome and forward to the next.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Time, me too.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
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five five seven nine five zero zero
Welcome to The Rewrite, a podcast about divorce, choice and
new beginnings. I'm your host Wendy Sloan, former TV producer,
mom of two and one.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Sweet golden retriever.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is a space for real talk about the moments
that break us, the choices that define us, and the
power we have to begin again. You'll hear personal stories,
heartfelt insights, and honest conversations about healing relationships and reclaiming
your life one choice at a time. I'll be joined
by experts in divorce, finance, mental health, wellness and more
(00:33):
and everything you need to support your next chapter. The
most powerful chapters might be the ones you write next.
Let's begin your rewrite together. This episode is brought to
impart by the Needle Kuda Law Firm guidance that moves
lives forward. Welcome back to the Rewrite. I'm your host
Wendy Sloan. Today we're picking up right where we left
off with Greg Burdulis, former monk and mindfulness mentor, as
(00:56):
we dive back into our conversation about presence, healing and meditation.
In part one, Greg walked us through his journey and
even led a powerful guided meditation. In this episode, we
continue unpacking how mindfulness helps us reconnect with ourselves, especially
in moments of transition.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Okay, I want to speak briefly about meditation. Meditation is
a little bit like going to the gym, because it
helps your body to be healthy. And in this case,
meditation is to mindfulness, like going to the gym is
(01:35):
being healthy for your body. Meditation increases the capacity for mindfulness.
In the shortest sentence I have to describe mindfulness, I'd
(01:57):
say mindfulness is is the process of awakening more and
more and more and to that extent, also less and
less and less, less and less of being caught up
(02:19):
in the stories of the mind less and less caught
up in the pain of a certain situation, more and
more able to have a larger view, more and more
able to see the possible potential benefits of this very
(02:41):
situation that is difficult, less and less likely to cave
into or collapse into a constricted mental state that is
afraid or that is blaming the world for my suffering.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
So, someone that's going through life transitions, divorce, separation, loss,
and so on, what are some simple tools and practices
that can support this?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, okay, so the loss divorce, and the other things
that you listed are from my perspective, examples of unwanted experience.
Even if you want the divorce, the process of getting
divorced is not easy or preferable. So there's an example
(03:48):
of what the Buddha was talking about. So in terms
of simple processes, here's the thing, at least as far
as I can tell. The time to engage with mindfulness.
Hang on, let me put it differently. Those situations that
(04:11):
you describe, mindfulness is going to be extremely helpful, and
the time to engage with mindfulness, to train with mindfulness
is before the hardship gets so dreadfully hard. So you
(04:31):
do your training before that if you can. If you
listen to this podcast, if what you're hearing from us
makes sense to you the listener, then you begin your
training and mindfulness. And by the way, most of us
or I don't know about most of us, but some
(04:53):
of us already have a sense of mindfulness and have
some sense of training in mindfulness. Great that that's what
we continue to do. Okay, So there's one response is
valuing mindfulness and training in mindfulness before the difficult situation arises.
(05:18):
But there's two other things that are vital, but also
need a kind of time frame where the processes have
enough time and repetition to actually make a difference in
one of them you mentioned earlier. Self love, self directed
(05:44):
kindness that is not based on your judgment of perfection
or anybody else's judgment or standard. Pause for a moment
to consider how the sun shines for you or on you,
whether you're deserving or of sunshine or not the sun.
(06:05):
That does not matter to the sun, your claim that
you're deserving or you're not deserving. The sun is still shining.
There's there is love for you that is the same.
(06:26):
It comes your way, whether you think you deserve it
or not. How to be in touch with that To
some extent, self love is a conduit for this greater love,
and so developing a conduit that is flexible, that is strong,
(06:51):
that is wide, is a dimension of self care that
is creating more and more space for that love to
come through. So there are distinct practices that offer the
(07:12):
capacity to or offer training to develop self directed kindness,
which can be so difficult when we have a negative
self view or we have critical voices. So it's part
(07:34):
of the part of the ability to deal with difficult
situations includes the capacity to support oneself, particularly as we're
going through difficult situations. And one of the dimensions of
(07:54):
this that has a different name or a slightly different
take is self compassion, the capacity to recognize difficulty suffering
and the capacity to develop kindness towards oneself. So there
(08:16):
are lots of meditations that offer that help us develop
self kindness, whether it's through self love or self compassion,
and it training ourselves this way doesn't require lots of time,
(08:40):
but repetition over time is really really helpful.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Let's take a quick break.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
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pick up where we left off just before the break.
Can you take us through a little meditation, a five
(10:14):
minute agation?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, yeah, great, let's do that so it will be yeah, okay,
So I'm I'm doing this for you and me and
you the listener, You the listener, I'd like you to
(10:35):
be in a situation where you can give attention to
internal processes without endangering yourself for others. So if you're driving,
don't do this right now. Wait until you can take
a walk, or until you can sit in relative silence
and relatively undisturbed. Okay. So I'm going to offer this
(11:03):
as if you're sitting, but you could be standing, you
could be lying down, you could even be walking, So
you please adapt to your current situation. Okay. So if
you're sitting, pick a couple of breaths that are a
little deeper and slower than normal, and you might notice
(11:23):
already there's a settling of your nervous system a little bit.
There's a way of slowing down internally as the breath lengthens.
Like you to turn attention to how your belly is
(11:44):
rising with the inhalation and falling or settling with the exhalation.
It's there ordinary sensations. There's nothing unusual about these sensations.
And during this practice you probably will notice attention going
(12:06):
towards thoughts. That's okay. In fact, that's great to be
able to recognize how awareness is able to connect and
recognize something as ephemeral and quick as a thought. Okay,
so we're back to the belly rising and falling, and
(12:27):
now include the chest and that rise and fall, and
check to see if your back is expanding and settling
with each breath. So while you're doing that, I want
(12:49):
to explain that what we're doing is pretty simple. We're
bringing attention to the body, to the physicality of our existence.
We're not saying they're no thinking. We're not saying there
are no emotions. We're having a particular focus that is
relatively benign, relatively neutral sensations. Okay, all right, So from here,
(13:15):
would you put one hand over your heart and the
other hand over that one. Would you think about somebody
that benefits you, that somehow their presence in your life
makes your life better. It could be a barista, it
(13:38):
could be your lover, it could be a saint. Just
notice how that feels in your body while you're bringing
this person to mind. Yeah, this is part of being
(14:01):
able to notice delight the small things in life. Notice
how there's a little more expansion in your heart area,
maybe a little sense of warmth. You're holding this particular
person in your mind and you're feeling the difference in
your body. Yeah, okay, So from here, would you say
(14:25):
these sentences after me, May you be happy, May you
be happy, May you be healthy, May be healthy. May
you be free from suffering.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
May be free from suffering.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
May you live with ease, May you live with ease. Okay,
So just let those sentences settle a little bit, and
notice to what ext they are expressions of your appreciation,
your love for this person. This is a verbal demonstration
(15:12):
of good will and positive intent. So we're going to
do that again. Remember your thinking of somebody that delights you,
makes you happy. It could be a different person this
time around, and it could be a dog or a
(15:34):
cat or a parrot, somebody that delights you. You can
feel your heart blossom a little bit just when they
enter your mind, and to this being say, may you
be happy, May you be healthy, May you be free
(15:57):
of suffering. May you live a life of ease. Okay. So,
to the extent that any of what we talked about
(16:17):
is real for you, let that settle in your system,
that there's somebody you love and that there's kindness that
easily flows from you towards them. Okay. So here's the
other part of the practice is to imagine this person,
(16:43):
this being in front of you, and that they are
settled and calm, content and awake, and they sense you
before them, and they turn to you and with their eyes,
(17:09):
their face and their heart, they say to you, may
you be happy, and you feel that come in. They
say to you, may you be healthy, and you feel
your body blessed by them from the inside. You feel
(17:34):
them say may you be free of suffering, and you
feel the weight like dirt coming off your body, and
they say, may you live a life of ease, and
you feel internally, how something lets go a little bit
and there's a little more room, a little more ease inside,
(18:03):
and you take a slow, deep breath because you know
they're going to do it again, and so you're gonna
get as ready as you can to receive their kindness,
their smile, their beaming love, and they say you, May
you be happy, and you feel it come in and
(18:24):
it settles you. May you be healthy, and you feel
your muscles, your bones, your digestive system, your nervous system
all take in that appreciation, that well wishing, and they
(18:48):
say to you, may you be free of suffering. And
you know now that this is aimed towards your mind
and your heart, and you rise up to agree, Yes, yes,
free of suffering. May you live a life of ease
(19:09):
and you feel your system softening and relaxing. Yes, yes,
a life of ease. So let your whole body, your heart,
and your mind absorb and savor this experience and how
(19:33):
it feels right now, be able to touch this, Let
this be real, Let this matter to you. Okay, and
from here, let your hands come down, let your eyes
(19:55):
come open, and be ready to continue interacting with each
other and the podcast. Wendy, there's an example of a
kind of practice that changes us from the inside out.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
It's a happy existence. You said that when you when
you paint the picture of what we talked about.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
The simple things, yeah, that can bring us joy and
also basing the hard things.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Yeah, yeah, that meditation did not negate or go around
hard things. A life of ease and the absence of
suffering does not mean the app sense of hardship or difficulty.
(21:03):
I mean the ease that we're talking about. It sure
is nice when things are easy, and is not always
that way. How to be awake when it's not, and
to be responsive instead of reactive. That is part of
what mindfulness offers and meditation practice trains.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Amazing. There's so much more to talk about with you, Greg.
But my last question to you, and not last, but
not least, because I will have you back again and
again and again in your view, what does it truly
mean to rewrite your life?
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Okay? So I'm going to take that very personally, like
we're going to talk about what does it mean to
Greg to rewrite his life? Okay. First of all, my
answer to that question includes knowing that I don't have
(22:22):
a full answer yet, that I am in the process
of learning what it means to rewrite my life. Okay,
So that's part one. So I want to clarify that
whatever I have to say next is not comprehensive. I
want to include this dimension of curiosity and openness that
(22:46):
allows the entire process to redefine itself as I go.
So that's part one. Part two is it is for
(23:12):
me related to openness about what life brings to me.
I really like this notion of responding to life instead
of reacting to life, such that the aging, sickness, and
(23:33):
death are opportunities to learn to become more graceful, to
develop fortitude, which is a form of kindness. It's a
form of kindness to myself to not collapse into self pity, blame, shame,
(23:56):
or complaining or overwhelm. It's a form of kindness to
others that I don't dwell in those states. Rewriting my
life the tremendous opportunity that is in that sentence. It
(24:25):
creates in me a font of optimism and that sees
a bright future even while difficulties are certain to emerge. Yes, Yes,
How to be happy and healthy and loving even when
(24:54):
there's less and less hair on my head and I
need to wear glasses now the aging process continues. Loss
will happen, death will happen. How to be able to
say yes with an open and friendly heart. Rewriting my
(25:18):
life moves me in this direction consciously, deliberately and gratefully. Okay, Wendy,
(25:39):
that's today's answer.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
That's well said, well said.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
See the suns, see that smell of flowers, see the
beauty all around us every day, and try to live
every day.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
But face.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
The negative and all the bad stuff because it's going
to happen, But face that as well.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And watch how the definition of bad
shifts like watch how whatever is bad also has an opportunity.
Somewhere in that experience, there is opportunity to learn or
(26:28):
to train like that. That's amazing to have that attitude,
because then whatever shows up, however awful it is, it's
not only awful. There's more than that.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
And that is the reason I do the podcast. It begins,
this is what happened to me, this is what I did,
and this is how I got to the other side.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Yeah, when do we need people like you to be
able to tell us of their personal experience, Because when
we face loss, divorce, and death, it can be overwhelming,
and we need to hear stories of people that have
survived and come on the other side thriving of the
(27:21):
very same situation that is knocking us down, cutting us
off at the knees, keeping us from sleeping and getting
up and facing another awful, awful day. So, Wendy, I'm
so glad you're doing this work. I'm so glad for
its effects in our world.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
That means the world to me. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
It's also knowing that you're not alone, knowing that that's
who went for this. And I would say that ninety
five percent of the people that come here to speak
on the podcast and to share their story have been
that they are in as they are in this space
because of what happened to them, and they wouldn't be
(28:04):
doing what they're doing. I wouldn't be having a podcast
on divorced if I hadn't gotten divorced. Yeah, yeah, Yes,
we're all on life's journeys.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I also would like to add
that you're using the difficulty, the painful circumstance, to be
part of your healing, and not only your healing, but
our healing too. There's part of the transformation that creates
that transforms the painful divorce into something that is fruitful,
(28:45):
fruitful in that it's nourishing to you and others. That's that,
to me, is the essence of what rewriting offers. It
doesn't deny any of the difficulty, but it doesn't stay there.
It's not stuck there. There's a transformation into somehow this
(29:10):
difficulty reforms itself in our minds and hearts and bodies
into something fruitful, and this podcast is a living example
of that.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Well, that's one of the biggest compliments ever, besides what
you said to me that we talked about right before
we went to air that you said to me that
you see blue skies in me. You said that, and
that was probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
And I want people that are listening, that come here
(29:47):
to know that they're not alone and that there are
blue skies out there. And I want them to be
able to see that when they can't see it, because
sometimes you're so stuck in your grief and your trauma
and what's happening that you can't get there.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah, you can't see it and you can't see that.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
You can rewrite once, twice, three times, four times.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
You're still rewriting.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
I'm still rewriting my story and we will continue to
do that.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
So you are a living example. You are a role
model for us, not that you set yourself up to be,
but if we look at your story, you're showing how
a painful circumstance evolves into something that is meaningful to
(30:42):
you and it's helpful to others.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yes, I always said it's how you rise. Right, you
can get beat down, but it's how you rise.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Yeah, And the Zen people have their own version of this,
which is all down seven, get up.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Eighth, I like that and everything and everything that you like,
all the stuff that you're talking about has come into
my life more and more, which is why so important
to have you on the show. All it's more more mindfulness,
(31:24):
which is so important.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
Wendy, you're talking now about your personal experience. What about mindfulness?
How has that been valuable to you? Oh? In so
many ways, go for the simple ones.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Oh, it's just.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I try to always look at the bright side of everything,
no matter what it is. I try to find and
purpose in everything that I do and in the way
I live my life, even more so after I lost
my father, because I want I know that he would
be so proud of me, and he always was and
(32:16):
he would and I always want to honor how he
lived his life.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
And how I teach my children.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
And just in the simple ways, is being kind, being
kind to people because you get it back. You have
to be a good friend to have good friends. Just
being mindful and the way I live my life and
the way I try to live my life and a
happy happiness. And I think if you have that in you,
(32:46):
the happiness and the joy you spread it.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
I don't know if that was the answer You're.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Looking for I always looking for Wendy's answer.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
That's great, that was my answer.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
It's what you it's what you teach, it's what you're
passionate about. Is why we connect. You and I connected.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, but I.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Still there's so much more Greg, Greg bourdoulis as a speaker, facilitator,
mindful mentor after leaving a successful career, and we didn't
talk much about that either. You spent seven years as
a Buddhist monk, including Silent and Silent retreat, and we
didn't touch on that.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
So you're going to come back again because I want
to hear.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
I want to hear about all of that and that
led you to today, and as you continue to rewrite
your story, I welcome you back often and always.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
May I make a suggestion for the next episode or
a session that we that you, the listener, if you
have questions or comments or disagreements, that you get them
to Wendy so that they can be part of our
(34:15):
next conversation. So that's one way for you the listener,
to be more involved in this conversation and you get
to have input to.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Thank you so much. You're welcome and forward to the next.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Time, me too.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
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