June 10, 2025 • 35 mins
Happy Ever After!
She’s back! Join me in welcoming the incredible Kate Anthony for her 4th appearance on Divorce Doesn’t Suck! This time, she’s sharing her Happy Ever After Story—and trust me, you won’t want to miss it.
Kate is the host of the NYT-recommended Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, a certified coach, and a powerhouse advocate for women navigating divorce—especially moms coming out of toxic or abusive relationships. She’s been where you are, and she’s here to help.
Find Kate here:
Web: kateanthony.com
IG: @thedivorcesurvivalguide
FB: Your Divorce Survival Guide with Kate Anthony
FB: Should I Stay or Should I Go? with Kate Anthony
TikTok: @ thedivorcesurvivalguid
She’s back! Join me in welcoming the incredible Kate Anthony for her 4th appearance on Divorce Doesn’t Suck! This time, she’s sharing her Happy Ever After Story—and trust me, you won’t want to miss it.
Kate is the host of the NYT-recommended Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, a certified coach, and a powerhouse advocate for women navigating divorce—especially moms coming out of toxic or abusive relationships. She’s been where you are, and she’s here to help.
Find Kate here:
Web: kateanthony.com
IG: @thedivorcesurvivalguide
FB: Your Divorce Survival Guide with Kate Anthony
FB: Should I Stay or Should I Go? with Kate Anthony
TikTok: @ thedivorcesurvivalguid
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Wendy, and this is Divorce Doesn't Suck. I'm
talking all about the life you can live after divorce.
You'll hear regular people's stories about their divorces and how
they reinvented themselves and grew. You'll also get invaluable advice
from experts who serve in the divorce community. A little
about me. I'm a former TV producer and mom of two.
I got divorced in two thousand and eight when there
were really no outlets or platforms for me to turn to.
(00:22):
So I'm paying it forward and have created a platform
to help men and women learn that there absolutely is
a fresh, new and exciting life after divorce. Come with
me on this journey and paint your brand new blank
canvas of happily ever after divorce. This episode is brought
to in part by the Needle Kuda Law Firm Guidance
that Moves Lives Forward. Welcome to another episode of Divorce
(00:44):
Doesn't Suck Well. This is our fourth fourth time together.
Holy Yes, Holy, fourth time host of the New York
Times recommended podcast, a divorce survival guy and a divorce
coach who helps women decide if they should stay or
they should go, author of the book The D Word,
making the ultimate decision about your marriage. But more importantly,
(01:06):
she's been to where you are and back again. She's
just back from leading her second divorce retreat, and I
think she has some news that I just found out about.
And I don't know anything else really, just a little
sneak peek. Welcome back, Kate Anthony.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Thank you, Wendy. It's so nice to see you and
be here with you.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Gosh. I think like when I first started this podcast
was the first time you were on uh huh yeah,
and then I just love everything about you, your energy,
your wit, your humor, just you in general, because you
are just a marvelous person.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Oh. Thanks, love back at you. I was like, I
saw my calendar today and I was like, oh, I'm
talking to one day, talking to forever. But we always
have such a blast when we talk, so I was
very excited.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I'm very excited to hear all the new stuff in
your life and to catch up with you. So you're
just back from Sedona, You're second divorce retreat.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, it was great, It was really wonderful. It's yeah,
I don't know what to say. You know, it's when
women come together to do the healing work together. It's
magic and they you know, I the women that were
(02:22):
on this retreat were at different different stages of the game,
but all in it. And you know, you've got somebody
who is a few years out but still experiencing some
post separation abuse or whatever. You've got somebody who is
not even quite out yet, and then we've got everything
in between, and then the collective just they just take
(02:43):
care of each other and them. I mean, obviously I
had something to do with it, but I did actually
guide them in the retreat, but but they were really
the collective and the community and the camaraderie of women
coming together to share a healing journey is so powerful.
(03:05):
And you know, I would love to be able to
do retreats twice a year if I. If I could,
I would it. Can they can be hard for our demographic,
our our audience to fill because there's so many variables
in terms of like custody schedules and you know, you know,
(03:28):
or can I can I get out of town? Can
I afford it in the midst of my divorce and
everything else? But you know, that's my hope, that's my goal.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So how so tell it take us through how many days?
Is it? What is it like? And is it like
for a minute you wake up like, how how does
it work? No?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I do not pack it like that. So so the first,
the most important thing is that what when I run retreats.
I run them at this incredible retreat center just outside
of Sedona called Ancient Springs Retreat Center. And it is
a retreat center. It is not a spa, it is
(04:06):
not a resort. There are no other people there except
for our private chefs who live on site and the
two people who own the property and run the resort,
and they also run healing workshops themselves. So and then
when you're there doing your own retreat, they shut the
(04:27):
gates and like there's no comings and goings, right, So
it's a very sort of insulated, safe container. And you know,
and that being said, it's not luxury. We're not you know,
getting massages and going to the spa and you know,
(04:47):
sitting around the pool. We're doing work. So for my
retreats I do, it's like three days, but it's two
full days of work. There's the Thursday evening ar rival,
meet and greet, get to know you. There's all day
work Friday, all day work. Saturday. Saturday night we had
(05:09):
a had someone come in and do a sound bath
and a healing meditation that sort of closed the container.
It was wonderful. And then Sunday morning we have breakfast
and then everybody disperses. So it's really two days of
work and that's enough. It's a lot. I mean, it's immersive.
I do a morning session and afternoon session, so it's
(05:30):
like six hours each day of immersive work. I leave
space so we have. The meals are incredible. The chefs
that are on site there shallon Roxy are so nurturing.
They cater to all preferences, dietary restrictions, everything, They're just
(05:53):
and it is incredibly healing for the women to be
so nurtured with the just the food aspect alone, when
you have the chefs who prepare things specifically for you,
when you have been in a marriage that and serving
others for so long and never having your own needs met,
(06:14):
to have these incredible chefs just catering to your every need, desire, taste, right,
I mean it's stunning, food stunning, and but you know
it's a very low key atmosphere, right, This is not
like we're not sitting at you know, candle at dinner tables.
(06:34):
There's like one big community table that we're all together
and everybody's talking over all the meals and yeah, and
it's it's wonderful. It's just it's really a special special time.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
It does sound like it, do. I bet the women
walk away making lifelong friends too.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Lifelong friends. So the very first one that I did
was two years ago. The women still have a group
chat text group text thread from two years ago. Three
of the women recently went on another retreat to South
America on a yoga retreat together.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I know.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
It was amazing. I was so excited for them. And
so yes, they do. They are lifelong, lifelong friends and
support systems and right because the journey continues, right, it
just never ends, and so they have each other as
a touchstone for as long as.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
They I love that. And you know that I love
that about women too, especially as women that like cheer
each other on and you know, hold each other up
and root for each other. Those are the kind of
women that I love to surround myself with.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
That's right. And this is what we do, like right, like,
we meet people and we go deep and we bond
and we stay bonded and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I love that you do that. And I'm I'm sure
these women come out of there like different people.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yeah, that's that's the way they feel. And one of
the important things for me and running these retreats is
that that is not just you know how we all
do these things where we walk away and we're like,
oh my god, it totally changed my life, and then
like you know, two weeks later, it's we're back to
the same.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
I'm not asking them to, you know, to change their lives.
We're deepening the experiences of the healing, and that lasts.
That lasts forever. I don't want it to be something
that's fleeting, right, I really want it to be something
that is lasting and and and can stay with them,
(08:37):
you know, when they feel transformed. I want it to
be like an authentic transformation for them.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
It's wonderful. Absolutely are the kids.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Well, I have one my son. I have one son,
he's great, and then I have all these other furry ones.
Everybody's good.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I included the furry ones. Is that because my my
Golden is my third artist child? Yes, right, yeah, he
is the one that takes up all my space right now.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I hear you. I've got I have. One of my
cats has decided that my desk has never been on
my desk, and he has now decided that my desk
is his favorite place to be. So that this happens
a lot. But yeah, I mean, you know they they
take up all my time and energy, and I love
every second between my dog and I. I have three cats.
(09:28):
I think the last time we spoke, I probably only
had one cat, and now I have three. I decided
to well, I decided that I was going to give
up on men and and get more cats.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Unbelievable. Wait, so before you talk on men, before you
talk about that giving up on men, We're going to
very take a very quick break for one of our
sponsor's commercials. I'm going to be right back with Kate Anthony,
her book The D Word, Making the Ultimate Decision about
your Marriage. He's the host of the New York Times
recommended podcast, The Divorce Survival Guide. She's one of my
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so all right, you teased me enough single for eight years? Well,
I think do we need to back up and tell
(11:30):
your story a little bit, your divorce story a little bit.
Let's tell that story a tiny bit and then sing
over eight years, and then I think something is going
on in your personal life after you gave up men.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
But I gave up on men and I got all
the cats, and then you know, God said, ha ha ha.
So yes, my divorce story. I mean, you know, I
got divorced sixteen years ago, or split up sixteen years ago,
and it was a very fairly amicable divorce after a
(12:05):
very volatile and abusive marriage. And we, you know, have
been you know, we've gone, We've had our ups and
downs and roller coasters in between in over sixteen years, right,
(12:27):
you know, we've gone three years without speaking other than
you know, parallel parenting our son. He got remarried, he
had another son, not with his second wife, he got
divorced again, So we've been all over the map together.
But you know, being in that relationship, you know, I
(12:49):
didn't have words for what was happening to me. At
the time when I was in my marriage, there was
no there were no podcasts, there was no Instagram, there
was no one explaining emotional abuse. I just didn't know
what was happening. And I eventually came to understand what
was happening, what had happened, and I wanted to help
(13:14):
other women deal with similar things and recognize signs of
covert emotional abuse. And then you know, it grew into
other forms of abuse as well. And and so that's
kind of how I got into what I do. And
you know, in the meantime, like I said, over sixteen years,
my ex and I, our relationship has gone up and down.
(13:34):
We have, you know, come to a very nice place
of friendship, collaboration, co parenting, and you know, and and
like I said, friendship. So we've come to a good place.
It's a it's a goddamn miracle. It's been a lot
of work, but we're good.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
God damn a lot of work. Yeah, So, you like said,
and you've said many times, you've been there, you've been there,
you've seen it, you've you've had at all and you're
here helping other people, which is what I'm trying to
do as well. So the you know, you went through
the dating, dating, we talked about dating, we talked about
(14:13):
the apps, we talked about all this many times.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Right, yeah we did.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And then you gave up.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I gave up. I was like, fuck all of this,
fuck all of them.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I shot let that out.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
If you need to, sorry, okay, So yeah, I just
I just every time I went on I would have
some I would feel like it was a very demoralizing experience.
I couldn't deal with it, and I and and there
we was. There was didn't seem to be an upside
(14:52):
or a benefit. And because of that, I felt like
the the output was just far outweighing the input. And
I have enough of that in my life of you know,
excessive output and not enough input. And I just didn't
(15:12):
need that in like another area of my life that
was optional, to be honest. And I had gotten to
a place in my life where I was really good
and I wasn't going to settle and if I couldn't,
if something didn't come to me that was going to
really benefit my life and really add value, I didn't
(15:34):
want it, don't want to do it, Like why bother
end of December maybe I don't know, December, early January something.
I did a couple of interviews for my show, one
of which was with a woman named Melissa Deneen who's
a dating coach and she is great. And every time
I interview a dating coach or what, I'm always like,
(15:57):
maybe I should get back on I don't know, and
I always get a little like I mean, I get
I would get a spark of hope, right, So I
interviewed Alyssa, and then after interviewing Alyssa, I then interviewed
Jenny Young, who is the creator of the burnt Haystack method.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I don't know if you know her, but she's amazing.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
So Burnt Haystack is a dating method that Jenny created.
Jenny as a professor of rhetoric and when she started
when she was online dating, she started noticing sort of
rhetorical patterns in men's dating profiles, and so she started
sort of picking them out and naming them. And she also,
(16:49):
you know, sort of one of the first rules of
burnt Haystack is that instead of swiping left, you block,
because if you've ever noticed that when you swipe left,
somehow they end up back in your feed. Later they
always end up back in your feed, and she realized
(17:10):
that the only way to get them out of your
feed is to block them, and then it kind of
forces the algorithm to sort of push outside of your
preferences or parameters, right. And so after interviewing both of
these women, I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna I'm
(17:33):
gonna give this a shot because I felt like with
Jenny's method, I was like, oh, this actually changes the
algorithmic game and might actually bear more fruit than the
way I've been doing it since. And there are a
few more rules in the Burnt Haystack method. But if
(17:54):
you go onto Instagram, I think Jenny's instagram is word
case scenario and it's Jenny young Jenny with an ie
and she's brilliant. She's brilliant and she and so I
I readed my profile with Alyssa's sort of magic wand
(18:18):
and she actually didn't have any notes on my profile,
but she tweaked my settings a little bit, and she
has a whole she has a whole thing about the
algorithms and setting preferences rather than deal breakers. And there
were things that I always had as deal breakers that
she was like no, because then your algorithm is not
going to like, it's not going to show you people,
(18:39):
you know, even if you're like anyway, it's it's it's
it's sort of complicated.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Was a sponsor of the podcast for a while, my
podcast She's very good, She's great.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I love Alyssa, so so anyway, and then I was
blocking to burn, which is what Jenny t and the
reason it's called burnt haystack is that she googled how
do you find a needle in a haystack? And the
answer is you burn a haystack.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
That's so brilliant, right, So you.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Burn it, you block them to you know, weed it
all out and have them stay out, so that then
you kind of have to be populated with other people
outside of some of your parameters and in you know,
some of your preferences. So for example, I always had
distance as a deal breaker because I live in Los
(19:33):
Angeles and if you I live on the east side
of LA if you are in Santa Monica, we are
in a long distance relationship and we're never going to
see each other. And she was like, let's set that
as a preference, not a deal breaker, and let the
algorithm like you know, and her thing was like if
the love of your life lives in Santa Monica or
(19:54):
like an hour away, Like are you really gonna say no?
And I was like I guess not.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
So, within like within two weeks, it was under two
weeks from when I set up my profile, I saw
this man and.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Okay, can we say which app it was?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Oh? It was on Hinge?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Sure, yeah, okay, so you paid? Did you pay for this?
You have to pay for this to be able to
do the proper right?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Did? Yes? I did well to you have to pay
to be able to do deal breakers, which turns out
like I don't have I didn't have to do so
my So within about two weeks I saw this man
and I was like whoa. I mean just the second
(20:44):
I saw his picture, I was like.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
That wait, I said, I wasn't going to do this again,
and wait.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I'm like hold up. And then I read his profile
and I was like holy shit. And he very clearly
expressed on his profile some things that are very important
to me values wise. He said, you know LGBTQ writes
(21:18):
trans end LGBTQ. You know, pride or pride flag like
a trans flag and a pride flag, no, maga, no,
like just things that matter to me and that matter
enough to me that someone stating them really is important
to me. And I was like, oh, oh hell yes.
(21:42):
And I didn't even see where he lived, so I
was just like whatever, and I wrote to him immediately
and he wrote back pretty quickly, and we talked and
we texted, and then I was like, wait, where do
you live where? And he lives two hours away and
(22:02):
I was like fuck. And then he said, well, he's like,
you know, my last relationship she lived in LA and
it's fine, Like it's actually not it's not that bad
of a drive. And I was like, okay, if you're willing,
He's like I'm willing. He's like I'm game. Like it
was clear that we there was you know, I was
like okay, And it was very clear, very quickly that
(22:29):
he was incredibly kind and he centered my safety and
how I felt, and he sort of centered my comfort
in all things to the degree that he said, you know,
after we had been messaging one night and I we
(22:53):
you know, we're both going to bed. We same schedule,
like both of us are like eight thirty good night.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I love and like basically my schedule.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, like up at six and I was like, oh,
thank god. And the next morning he messaged me and
he said, hey, I really want to continue a conversation,
but I'm going to be at work and they block
this app at work and we have really terrible like
you know internet there so or terrible reception and you know,
(23:26):
so I won't be able to respond. I get out
of work at two thirty, I'll be able to to
you know, touch Base. Then I didn't want you to
feel like I was, you know, disappeared or anything. And
I was like, okay, how sweet is that? I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
How what a human and how amazing?
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Right, I mean low bar, but also like like but
also very very unusual, let's say, right. And so then
I was like, well, here's my number, you know, and
so like he didn't ask for my number, he didn't
even give me his. He was just very much He
(24:08):
was somebody who was clearly aware that women on the
apps are often preyed upon, and that he just wanted
to center my safety and my comfort. So we talked,
and the more we talked and the more we texted,
the more I was like, I feel so incredibly safe
(24:29):
with this man. Is the first person I have literally
in my life where I did not feel like prey.
I didn't ever feel like you. Yeah, where I did
not feel like he was trying to get something from me.
He wasn't pushing anything, he wasn't pushing an agenda. I
was the one who was like. He said something about, like,
let's do a FaceTime this weekend, and I was like, well,
(24:50):
if we do a FaceTime this weekend, that means we're
not having a date until next weekend because of the distance.
And next weekend I had a lot of shit going on.
I had a ton of stuff, not even not dating.
I just had a parties and friends and stuff. And
so I said to him, I was like, so listen,
here's the deal. Here's what I'm thinking. Next weekend. I
am crazy busy. I've got all this stuff going on,
(25:13):
But so why don't we do our FaceTime on Friday
and if things like go well as we feel like
they will, maybe we can get together on Sunday this weekend,
you know. And he was like and he loved that,
he loved that I was direct and there were no games,
and I was just like, here's what I'm thinking, and
he was like absolutely, and so we had our first
(25:35):
FaceTime and it was like it lasted an hour and
a half and it was just one hundred percent clear
that like I just knew. I was like, okay, this
is my guy, Like.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Hey, this is your guy.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Oh oh, one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And we haven't talked in that long.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
My gosh, well no, it's it's it's only been like
a few months, like it's been not it's been a
relatively short time. But you know, I've been single for
eight years and I I, you know, I'm fifty four
years old, and why know when I you know, when
I find something that is like a match and a fit,
(26:19):
like I'm not like this normally. And we both were
like so after ours, So then we did go to
our first you know, in person date. Was we met
kind of halfway, although he traveled a lot more. It
was probably like an hour and a half maybe like
an hour fifteen for him, forty five for me. Whatever.
(26:41):
And again along the way he was like, I just
want to let you know, I hit traffic. I hate
being late, but I'm probably gonna be like five minutes late.
I'm like, okay, it's fine. And he was really stressed
about it, and I was like, no, really, thank you,
You're really great, but it's fine. And we had the
best date and you know, we took a walk on
the beach and we had really sort of deep conversation
(27:04):
and clearly very attracted to each other, and I just
and then that night he texted me and he said, listen,
I'm not asking anything of you, but I want you
to know that I'm deleting my profile tomorrow. He's like,
I just want to I'm very intentional. I want to
(27:24):
be intentional with you. I want to put my focus
on this. I think it's special and I want to
explore this with you. And I was like okay, and
he's like, but I want you to know too that
I'm not going to delete it until tomorrow, like evening,
because I want to message other people that I was
talking to and just I don't want to go to people.
(27:46):
And I was like, what a guy.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
First of all, I couldn't be happier for you, Kate, Anthony,
my gosh, so well deserved.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Yeah, and it has been nothing, it's been nothing but
amazing ever since, Like every time we're together. So we're
together every weekend, and you know, we talk all week
obviously and we're together every weekend. We kind of alternate
back and forth, and every weekend is better. Every time
(28:18):
we're together is better.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
You are. You are exactly what my show is. This
is what happened to me, This is what I went through,
This is how I got together to side, and this
is how I'm helping in the world of the divorce
world and living my best life. Two point zero your
two point oho. I mean some people are at three
point oh four point zero doesn't matter. But God couldn't
be happier for you.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Thank you, Henny. Yeah, I am. I am over the moon.
He's the sweetest. He's the kindest. You know, he's not
somebody that I maybe would have dated in the past
because he's so sweet and kind and you know, I
feel so completely at peace and calm. I feel loved.
I feel sexy as all hell. I feel you.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Look it, look at before him. I'm just saying, but
there is this, there is a special there is something
special glow about you.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
There is Yeah, thank you, thank you. Everyone says that,
and everyone says that to him too. We're both like, yeah,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
You're giddy. It's so you're like, you know, in high
school again. And you know in college again. Yeah, love,
it just brightens up your whole face. Tell him he's
one lucky guy.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
He tells me all the time that he's one. Like
I'm like, we're both lucky. I'm always like, I'm the luckiest.
I'm the luckiest. And he's like, Babe, we are both
the luckiest. He's like, I fucking scored.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah. And you know, we both have done a lot
of work to get to a place where this is
the right fit for us. Where we are where I
would choose someone who is kind and loving and present
and all of the things, and you know, for him
(30:04):
to choose somebody who chooses him to like, we both
got to we both have done a lot of work
to get to a place where this just it just works.
And we love to do all the same shit. We
operate at the same pace in everything, Like we want
to nap at the same time, we want to get
up and go for a four five mile hike at
(30:25):
the same time. We're you know, we just all of
our rhythms are completely in sync. It's insane. And our
brains too. We like say the same thing at the
same time all the time.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
It was so meant to be right.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
That's how it feels. That's really how it feels. And
you know, like I said, I got I got all
the cats, like I was. I was like I was done.
I was like, eh, whatever, I'll just be alone. It's fine,
I'm fine. I have cats. Fortunately, he loves cats.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
It's wonderful.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
And oh yeah, absolutely, And he loves him, Yeah, he
loves him. He's really happy for me. He really loves Ethan.
He talks about how like he's like, he's just clearly
such a good person. My mom loves him. My ex
(31:22):
husband has met him, we all hung out. David loves him.
He's meeting my dad. My dad and my stepmom are
coming next weekend and he's meeting my dad for the
first time.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
So but yeah, full circle.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Huh. Yeah, it's great, it's great. It's great. I can't, like,
I don't know what you're giving.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Everybody else out that's listening out there, hope right that
you can go through all the ups and downs and
the storms and the waves and all that stuff and
be at the rock bottom and pull yourself right back
up and and you can't true love.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Yeah, And look, you know, I've been divorced for six
almost sixteen years, and I had a couple of relationships
in there, but nothing like this, like I've never felt.
I'm like, we're both like, oh oh okay, this is
(32:21):
what this is what it is. It's you know, it's
not crazy. It's not like that that crazy feeling. It's
not crazy love. It's like, oh my god, this is
it's easy. It's fun. We laugh our asses off and
we just have like you know, he's my best friend
and I love having sex with him. Let's get to
(32:43):
the room.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Any days. You talk about him all the time right now?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Which is which is you know a okay, right, okay,
he loves it. I couldn't be more happier, especially for you,
because you know, you put it all out there, like
all the time on your podcast, you put it out there.
You know, you help women, you do these retreats, your book, everything,
I mean, yeah, and such an amazing person. And and
(33:11):
you were like, don you were like, I'm done, I'm good,
got my cats got good, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yeah. I was like, okay, one more try, just one
more try, I'll try this one more time. And that was,
you know, the best thing I've ever done, like, like,
I like, I'm terrified at the thought of like, oh
my god, what if I haven't done it?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
You know, right?
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Yeah, I mean yeah, he's the best. He's I mean,
he's the best for me. You know, he really is.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
You you even look different, my gosh. Okay, So we're
gonna have you back because I'm gonna want to continue
to hear the story again and again, updates and everything else. Yeah,
her podcast, The Recommended Podcast Divorced Survival Guide, her book
The D Word, Make the Ultimatician about your marriage, And
she's come full circle because she's in love now and
(34:02):
she's spreading the love and she's here to tell you
that it can happen to you too.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
So yeah, it can. It can. There's work to be done,
but absolutely it can.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Thank you so much, Kate, thanks for sharing this your
news story with us.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
I didn't realize this great.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Greater than great. Thank you. I wish you all the love.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Thank you so much, Thanks so much.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
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(34:51):
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(35:14):
two O three five five seven nine five zero zero
Hi, I'm Wendy, and this is Divorce Doesn't Suck. I'm
talking all about the life you can live after divorce.
You'll hear regular people's stories about their divorces and how
they reinvented themselves and grew. You'll also get invaluable advice
from experts who serve in the divorce community. A little
about me. I'm a former TV producer and mom of two.
I got divorced in two thousand and eight when there
were really no outlets or platforms for me to turn to.
(00:22):
So I'm paying it forward and have created a platform
to help men and women learn that there absolutely is
a fresh, new and exciting life after divorce. Come with
me on this journey and paint your brand new blank
canvas of happily ever after divorce. This episode is brought
to in part by the Needle Kuda Law Firm Guidance
that Moves Lives Forward. Welcome to another episode of Divorce
(00:44):
Doesn't Suck Well. This is our fourth fourth time together.
Holy Yes, Holy, fourth time host of the New York
Times recommended podcast, a divorce survival guy and a divorce
coach who helps women decide if they should stay or
they should go, author of the book The D Word,
making the ultimate decision about your marriage. But more importantly,
(01:06):
she's been to where you are and back again. She's
just back from leading her second divorce retreat, and I
think she has some news that I just found out about.
And I don't know anything else really, just a little
sneak peek. Welcome back, Kate Anthony.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Thank you, Wendy. It's so nice to see you and
be here with you.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Gosh. I think like when I first started this podcast
was the first time you were on uh huh yeah,
and then I just love everything about you, your energy,
your wit, your humor, just you in general, because you
are just a marvelous person.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Oh. Thanks, love back at you. I was like, I
saw my calendar today and I was like, oh, I'm
talking to one day, talking to forever. But we always
have such a blast when we talk, so I was
very excited.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I'm very excited to hear all the new stuff in
your life and to catch up with you. So you're
just back from Sedona, You're second divorce retreat.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, it was great, It was really wonderful. It's yeah,
I don't know what to say. You know, it's when
women come together to do the healing work together. It's
magic and they you know, I the women that were
(02:22):
on this retreat were at different different stages of the game,
but all in it. And you know, you've got somebody
who is a few years out but still experiencing some
post separation abuse or whatever. You've got somebody who is
not even quite out yet, and then we've got everything
in between, and then the collective just they just take
(02:43):
care of each other and them. I mean, obviously I
had something to do with it, but I did actually
guide them in the retreat, but but they were really
the collective and the community and the camaraderie of women
coming together to share a healing journey is so powerful.
(03:05):
And you know, I would love to be able to
do retreats twice a year if I. If I could,
I would it. Can they can be hard for our demographic,
our our audience to fill because there's so many variables
in terms of like custody schedules and you know, you know,
(03:28):
or can I can I get out of town? Can
I afford it in the midst of my divorce and
everything else? But you know, that's my hope, that's my goal.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So how so tell it take us through how many days?
Is it? What is it like? And is it like
for a minute you wake up like, how how does
it work? No?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I do not pack it like that. So so the first,
the most important thing is that what when I run retreats.
I run them at this incredible retreat center just outside
of Sedona called Ancient Springs Retreat Center. And it is
a retreat center. It is not a spa, it is
(04:06):
not a resort. There are no other people there except
for our private chefs who live on site and the
two people who own the property and run the resort,
and they also run healing workshops themselves. So and then
when you're there doing your own retreat, they shut the
(04:27):
gates and like there's no comings and goings, right, So
it's a very sort of insulated, safe container. And you know,
and that being said, it's not luxury. We're not you know,
getting massages and going to the spa and you know,
(04:47):
sitting around the pool. We're doing work. So for my
retreats I do, it's like three days, but it's two
full days of work. There's the Thursday evening ar rival,
meet and greet, get to know you. There's all day
work Friday, all day work. Saturday. Saturday night we had
(05:09):
a had someone come in and do a sound bath
and a healing meditation that sort of closed the container.
It was wonderful. And then Sunday morning we have breakfast
and then everybody disperses. So it's really two days of
work and that's enough. It's a lot. I mean, it's immersive.
I do a morning session and afternoon session, so it's
(05:30):
like six hours each day of immersive work. I leave
space so we have. The meals are incredible. The chefs
that are on site there shallon Roxy are so nurturing.
They cater to all preferences, dietary restrictions, everything, They're just
(05:53):
and it is incredibly healing for the women to be
so nurtured with the just the food aspect alone, when
you have the chefs who prepare things specifically for you,
when you have been in a marriage that and serving
others for so long and never having your own needs met,
(06:14):
to have these incredible chefs just catering to your every need, desire, taste, right,
I mean it's stunning, food stunning, and but you know
it's a very low key atmosphere, right, This is not
like we're not sitting at you know, candle at dinner tables.
(06:34):
There's like one big community table that we're all together
and everybody's talking over all the meals and yeah, and
it's it's wonderful. It's just it's really a special special time.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
It does sound like it, do. I bet the women
walk away making lifelong friends too.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Lifelong friends. So the very first one that I did
was two years ago. The women still have a group
chat text group text thread from two years ago. Three
of the women recently went on another retreat to South
America on a yoga retreat together.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I know.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
It was amazing. I was so excited for them. And
so yes, they do. They are lifelong, lifelong friends and
support systems and right because the journey continues, right, it
just never ends, and so they have each other as
a touchstone for as long as.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
They I love that. And you know that I love
that about women too, especially as women that like cheer
each other on and you know, hold each other up
and root for each other. Those are the kind of
women that I love to surround myself with.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
That's right. And this is what we do, like right, like,
we meet people and we go deep and we bond
and we stay bonded and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I love that you do that. And I'm I'm sure
these women come out of there like different people.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yeah, that's that's the way they feel. And one of
the important things for me and running these retreats is
that that is not just you know how we all
do these things where we walk away and we're like,
oh my god, it totally changed my life, and then
like you know, two weeks later, it's we're back to
the same.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
I'm not asking them to, you know, to change their lives.
We're deepening the experiences of the healing, and that lasts.
That lasts forever. I don't want it to be something
that's fleeting, right, I really want it to be something
that is lasting and and and can stay with them,
(08:37):
you know, when they feel transformed. I want it to
be like an authentic transformation for them.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
It's wonderful. Absolutely are the kids.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Well, I have one my son. I have one son,
he's great, and then I have all these other furry ones.
Everybody's good.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I included the furry ones. Is that because my my
Golden is my third artist child? Yes, right, yeah, he
is the one that takes up all my space right now.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I hear you. I've got I have. One of my
cats has decided that my desk has never been on
my desk, and he has now decided that my desk
is his favorite place to be. So that this happens
a lot. But yeah, I mean, you know they they
take up all my time and energy, and I love
every second between my dog and I. I have three cats.
(09:28):
I think the last time we spoke, I probably only
had one cat, and now I have three. I decided
to well, I decided that I was going to give
up on men and and get more cats.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Unbelievable. Wait, so before you talk on men, before you
talk about that giving up on men, We're going to
very take a very quick break for one of our
sponsor's commercials. I'm going to be right back with Kate Anthony,
her book The D Word, Making the Ultimate Decision about
your Marriage. He's the host of the New York Times
recommended podcast, The Divorce Survival Guide. She's one of my
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(11:08):
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so all right, you teased me enough single for eight years? Well,
I think do we need to back up and tell
(11:30):
your story a little bit, your divorce story a little bit.
Let's tell that story a tiny bit and then sing
over eight years, and then I think something is going
on in your personal life after you gave up men.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
But I gave up on men and I got all
the cats, and then you know, God said, ha ha ha.
So yes, my divorce story. I mean, you know, I
got divorced sixteen years ago, or split up sixteen years ago,
and it was a very fairly amicable divorce after a
(12:05):
very volatile and abusive marriage. And we, you know, have
been you know, we've gone, We've had our ups and
downs and roller coasters in between in over sixteen years, right,
(12:27):
you know, we've gone three years without speaking other than
you know, parallel parenting our son. He got remarried, he
had another son, not with his second wife, he got
divorced again, So we've been all over the map together.
But you know, being in that relationship, you know, I
(12:49):
didn't have words for what was happening to me. At
the time when I was in my marriage, there was
no there were no podcasts, there was no Instagram, there
was no one explaining emotional abuse. I just didn't know
what was happening. And I eventually came to understand what
was happening, what had happened, and I wanted to help
(13:14):
other women deal with similar things and recognize signs of
covert emotional abuse. And then you know, it grew into
other forms of abuse as well. And and so that's
kind of how I got into what I do. And
you know, in the meantime, like I said, over sixteen years,
my ex and I, our relationship has gone up and down.
(13:34):
We have, you know, come to a very nice place
of friendship, collaboration, co parenting, and you know, and and
like I said, friendship. So we've come to a good place.
It's a it's a goddamn miracle. It's been a lot
of work, but we're good.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
God damn a lot of work. Yeah, So, you like said,
and you've said many times, you've been there, you've been there,
you've seen it, you've you've had at all and you're
here helping other people, which is what I'm trying to
do as well. So the you know, you went through
the dating, dating, we talked about dating, we talked about
(14:13):
the apps, we talked about all this many times.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Right, yeah we did.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And then you gave up.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I gave up. I was like, fuck all of this,
fuck all of them.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I shot let that out.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
If you need to, sorry, okay, So yeah, I just
I just every time I went on I would have
some I would feel like it was a very demoralizing experience.
I couldn't deal with it, and I and and there
we was. There was didn't seem to be an upside
(14:52):
or a benefit. And because of that, I felt like
the the output was just far outweighing the input. And
I have enough of that in my life of you know,
excessive output and not enough input. And I just didn't
(15:12):
need that in like another area of my life that
was optional, to be honest. And I had gotten to
a place in my life where I was really good
and I wasn't going to settle and if I couldn't,
if something didn't come to me that was going to
really benefit my life and really add value, I didn't
(15:34):
want it, don't want to do it, Like why bother
end of December maybe I don't know, December, early January something.
I did a couple of interviews for my show, one
of which was with a woman named Melissa Deneen who's
a dating coach and she is great. And every time
I interview a dating coach or what, I'm always like,
(15:57):
maybe I should get back on I don't know, and
I always get a little like I mean, I get
I would get a spark of hope, right, So I
interviewed Alyssa, and then after interviewing Alyssa, I then interviewed
Jenny Young, who is the creator of the burnt Haystack method.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I don't know if you know her, but she's amazing.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
So Burnt Haystack is a dating method that Jenny created.
Jenny as a professor of rhetoric and when she started
when she was online dating, she started noticing sort of
rhetorical patterns in men's dating profiles, and so she started
sort of picking them out and naming them. And she also,
(16:49):
you know, sort of one of the first rules of
burnt Haystack is that instead of swiping left, you block,
because if you've ever noticed that when you swipe left,
somehow they end up back in your feed. Later they
always end up back in your feed, and she realized
(17:10):
that the only way to get them out of your
feed is to block them, and then it kind of
forces the algorithm to sort of push outside of your
preferences or parameters, right. And so after interviewing both of
these women, I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna I'm
(17:33):
gonna give this a shot because I felt like with
Jenny's method, I was like, oh, this actually changes the
algorithmic game and might actually bear more fruit than the
way I've been doing it since. And there are a
few more rules in the Burnt Haystack method. But if
(17:54):
you go onto Instagram, I think Jenny's instagram is word
case scenario and it's Jenny young Jenny with an ie
and she's brilliant. She's brilliant and she and so I
I readed my profile with Alyssa's sort of magic wand
(18:18):
and she actually didn't have any notes on my profile,
but she tweaked my settings a little bit, and she
has a whole she has a whole thing about the
algorithms and setting preferences rather than deal breakers. And there
were things that I always had as deal breakers that
she was like no, because then your algorithm is not
going to like, it's not going to show you people,
(18:39):
you know, even if you're like anyway, it's it's it's
it's sort of complicated.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Was a sponsor of the podcast for a while, my
podcast She's very good, She's great.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I love Alyssa, so so anyway, and then I was
blocking to burn, which is what Jenny t and the
reason it's called burnt haystack is that she googled how
do you find a needle in a haystack? And the
answer is you burn a haystack.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
That's so brilliant, right, So you.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Burn it, you block them to you know, weed it
all out and have them stay out, so that then
you kind of have to be populated with other people
outside of some of your parameters and in you know,
some of your preferences. So for example, I always had
distance as a deal breaker because I live in Los
(19:33):
Angeles and if you I live on the east side
of LA if you are in Santa Monica, we are
in a long distance relationship and we're never going to
see each other. And she was like, let's set that
as a preference, not a deal breaker, and let the
algorithm like you know, and her thing was like if
the love of your life lives in Santa Monica or
(19:54):
like an hour away, Like are you really gonna say no?
And I was like I guess not.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
So, within like within two weeks, it was under two
weeks from when I set up my profile, I saw
this man and.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Okay, can we say which app it was?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Oh? It was on Hinge?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Sure, yeah, okay, so you paid? Did you pay for this?
You have to pay for this to be able to
do the proper right?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Did? Yes? I did well to you have to pay
to be able to do deal breakers, which turns out
like I don't have I didn't have to do so
my So within about two weeks I saw this man
and I was like whoa. I mean just the second
(20:44):
I saw his picture, I was like.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
That wait, I said, I wasn't going to do this again,
and wait.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I'm like hold up. And then I read his profile
and I was like holy shit. And he very clearly
expressed on his profile some things that are very important
to me values wise. He said, you know LGBTQ writes
(21:18):
trans end LGBTQ. You know, pride or pride flag like
a trans flag and a pride flag, no, maga, no,
like just things that matter to me and that matter
enough to me that someone stating them really is important
to me. And I was like, oh, oh hell yes.
(21:42):
And I didn't even see where he lived, so I
was just like whatever, and I wrote to him immediately
and he wrote back pretty quickly, and we talked and
we texted, and then I was like, wait, where do
you live where? And he lives two hours away and
(22:02):
I was like fuck. And then he said, well, he's like,
you know, my last relationship she lived in LA and
it's fine, Like it's actually not it's not that bad
of a drive. And I was like, okay, if you're willing,
He's like I'm willing. He's like I'm game. Like it
was clear that we there was you know, I was
like okay, And it was very clear, very quickly that
(22:29):
he was incredibly kind and he centered my safety and
how I felt, and he sort of centered my comfort
in all things to the degree that he said, you know,
after we had been messaging one night and I we
(22:53):
you know, we're both going to bed. We same schedule,
like both of us are like eight thirty good night.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I love and like basically my schedule.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, like up at six and I was like, oh,
thank god. And the next morning he messaged me and
he said, hey, I really want to continue a conversation,
but I'm going to be at work and they block
this app at work and we have really terrible like
you know internet there so or terrible reception and you know,
(23:26):
so I won't be able to respond. I get out
of work at two thirty, I'll be able to to
you know, touch Base. Then I didn't want you to
feel like I was, you know, disappeared or anything. And
I was like, okay, how sweet is that? I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
How what a human and how amazing?
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Right, I mean low bar, but also like like but
also very very unusual, let's say, right. And so then
I was like, well, here's my number, you know, and
so like he didn't ask for my number, he didn't
even give me his. He was just very much He
(24:08):
was somebody who was clearly aware that women on the
apps are often preyed upon, and that he just wanted
to center my safety and my comfort. So we talked,
and the more we talked and the more we texted,
the more I was like, I feel so incredibly safe
(24:29):
with this man. Is the first person I have literally
in my life where I did not feel like prey.
I didn't ever feel like you. Yeah, where I did
not feel like he was trying to get something from me.
He wasn't pushing anything, he wasn't pushing an agenda. I
was the one who was like. He said something about, like,
let's do a FaceTime this weekend, and I was like, well,
(24:50):
if we do a FaceTime this weekend, that means we're
not having a date until next weekend because of the distance.
And next weekend I had a lot of shit going on.
I had a ton of stuff, not even not dating.
I just had a parties and friends and stuff. And
so I said to him, I was like, so listen,
here's the deal. Here's what I'm thinking. Next weekend. I
am crazy busy. I've got all this stuff going on,
(25:13):
But so why don't we do our FaceTime on Friday
and if things like go well as we feel like
they will, maybe we can get together on Sunday this weekend,
you know. And he was like and he loved that,
he loved that I was direct and there were no games,
and I was just like, here's what I'm thinking, and
he was like absolutely, and so we had our first
(25:35):
FaceTime and it was like it lasted an hour and
a half and it was just one hundred percent clear
that like I just knew. I was like, okay, this
is my guy, Like.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Hey, this is your guy.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Oh oh, one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And we haven't talked in that long.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
My gosh, well no, it's it's it's only been like
a few months, like it's been not it's been a
relatively short time. But you know, I've been single for
eight years and I I, you know, I'm fifty four
years old, and why know when I you know, when
I find something that is like a match and a fit,
(26:19):
like I'm not like this normally. And we both were
like so after ours, So then we did go to
our first you know, in person date. Was we met
kind of halfway, although he traveled a lot more. It
was probably like an hour and a half maybe like
an hour fifteen for him, forty five for me. Whatever.
(26:41):
And again along the way he was like, I just
want to let you know, I hit traffic. I hate
being late, but I'm probably gonna be like five minutes late.
I'm like, okay, it's fine. And he was really stressed
about it, and I was like, no, really, thank you,
You're really great, but it's fine. And we had the
best date and you know, we took a walk on
the beach and we had really sort of deep conversation
(27:04):
and clearly very attracted to each other, and I just
and then that night he texted me and he said, listen,
I'm not asking anything of you, but I want you
to know that I'm deleting my profile tomorrow. He's like,
I just want to I'm very intentional. I want to
(27:24):
be intentional with you. I want to put my focus
on this. I think it's special and I want to
explore this with you. And I was like okay, and
he's like, but I want you to know too that
I'm not going to delete it until tomorrow, like evening,
because I want to message other people that I was
talking to and just I don't want to go to people.
(27:46):
And I was like, what a guy.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
First of all, I couldn't be happier for you, Kate, Anthony,
my gosh, so well deserved.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Yeah, and it has been nothing, it's been nothing but
amazing ever since, Like every time we're together. So we're
together every weekend, and you know, we talk all week
obviously and we're together every weekend. We kind of alternate
back and forth, and every weekend is better. Every time
(28:18):
we're together is better.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
You are. You are exactly what my show is. This
is what happened to me, This is what I went through,
This is how I got together to side, and this
is how I'm helping in the world of the divorce
world and living my best life. Two point zero your
two point oho. I mean some people are at three
point oh four point zero doesn't matter. But God couldn't
be happier for you.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Thank you, Henny. Yeah, I am. I am over the moon.
He's the sweetest. He's the kindest. You know, he's not
somebody that I maybe would have dated in the past
because he's so sweet and kind and you know, I
feel so completely at peace and calm. I feel loved.
I feel sexy as all hell. I feel you.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Look it, look at before him. I'm just saying, but
there is this, there is a special there is something
special glow about you.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
There is Yeah, thank you, thank you. Everyone says that,
and everyone says that to him too. We're both like, yeah,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
You're giddy. It's so you're like, you know, in high
school again. And you know in college again. Yeah, love,
it just brightens up your whole face. Tell him he's
one lucky guy.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
He tells me all the time that he's one. Like
I'm like, we're both lucky. I'm always like, I'm the luckiest.
I'm the luckiest. And he's like, Babe, we are both
the luckiest. He's like, I fucking scored.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah. And you know, we both have done a lot
of work to get to a place where this is
the right fit for us. Where we are where I
would choose someone who is kind and loving and present
and all of the things, and you know, for him
(30:04):
to choose somebody who chooses him to like, we both
got to we both have done a lot of work
to get to a place where this just it just works.
And we love to do all the same shit. We
operate at the same pace in everything, Like we want
to nap at the same time, we want to get
up and go for a four five mile hike at
(30:25):
the same time. We're you know, we just all of
our rhythms are completely in sync. It's insane. And our
brains too. We like say the same thing at the
same time all the time.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
It was so meant to be right.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
That's how it feels. That's really how it feels. And
you know, like I said, I got I got all
the cats, like I was. I was like I was done.
I was like, eh, whatever, I'll just be alone. It's fine,
I'm fine. I have cats. Fortunately, he loves cats.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
It's wonderful.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
And oh yeah, absolutely, And he loves him, Yeah, he
loves him. He's really happy for me. He really loves Ethan.
He talks about how like he's like, he's just clearly
such a good person. My mom loves him. My ex
(31:22):
husband has met him, we all hung out. David loves him.
He's meeting my dad. My dad and my stepmom are
coming next weekend and he's meeting my dad for the
first time.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
So but yeah, full circle.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Huh. Yeah, it's great, it's great. It's great. I can't, like,
I don't know what you're giving.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Everybody else out that's listening out there, hope right that
you can go through all the ups and downs and
the storms and the waves and all that stuff and
be at the rock bottom and pull yourself right back
up and and you can't true love.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Yeah, And look, you know, I've been divorced for six
almost sixteen years, and I had a couple of relationships
in there, but nothing like this, like I've never felt.
I'm like, we're both like, oh oh okay, this is
(32:21):
what this is what it is. It's you know, it's
not crazy. It's not like that that crazy feeling. It's
not crazy love. It's like, oh my god, this is
it's easy. It's fun. We laugh our asses off and
we just have like you know, he's my best friend
and I love having sex with him. Let's get to
(32:43):
the room.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Any days. You talk about him all the time right now?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Which is which is you know a okay, right, okay,
he loves it. I couldn't be more happier, especially for you,
because you know, you put it all out there, like
all the time on your podcast, you put it out there.
You know, you help women, you do these retreats, your book, everything,
I mean, yeah, and such an amazing person. And and
(33:11):
you were like, don you were like, I'm done, I'm good,
got my cats got good, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yeah. I was like, okay, one more try, just one
more try, I'll try this one more time. And that was,
you know, the best thing I've ever done, like, like,
I like, I'm terrified at the thought of like, oh
my god, what if I haven't done it?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
You know, right?
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Yeah, I mean yeah, he's the best. He's I mean,
he's the best for me. You know, he really is.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
You you even look different, my gosh. Okay, So we're
gonna have you back because I'm gonna want to continue
to hear the story again and again, updates and everything else. Yeah,
her podcast, The Recommended Podcast Divorced Survival Guide, her book
The D Word, Make the Ultimatician about your marriage, And
she's come full circle because she's in love now and
(34:02):
she's spreading the love and she's here to tell you
that it can happen to you too.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
So yeah, it can. It can. There's work to be done,
but absolutely it can.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Thank you so much, Kate, thanks for sharing this your
news story with us.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
I didn't realize this great.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Greater than great. Thank you. I wish you all the love.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Thank you so much, Thanks so much.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Nito Kuda Divorce and family laws attorneys have guided Connecticut
and New York families through complex divorce actions, contested child custody,
and alimony disputes for over thirty years. Their Connecticut and
New York attorneys have extensive experience in family matters involving
substance abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, and many other X
factors that can complicate a divorce. Their attorneys a deptly
(34:51):
managed privacy and reputation concerns inherit to public divorce proceedings
and the related exposure for their ultra high net worth clients.
Find your new path forward, define your post divorce family,
and secure an enforcible agreement to protect your future with
Needle Cuda Act. Now put the strength of their team
behind you. Visit them at needlecuta dot com or call
(35:14):
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