June 17, 2025 • 23 mins
Meet Gabriella Martinelli
Gabriella E. Martinelli is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) and founder of Ever After Wealth®. With 21 years of experience in divorce finance, including 16 working alongside top attorneys, Gabriella helps individuals and professionals navigate the financial complexities of divorce with clarity and confidence. She makes complex financial topics easy to understand, offering real-world strategies that empower listeners to take control of their financial future.
WEBSITE: https://www.everafterwealth.com
Email: gabriella@everafterwealth.com
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/EverAfterWealth/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/everafterwealth/
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/everafterwealth
Gabriella E. Martinelli is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) and founder of Ever After Wealth®. With 21 years of experience in divorce finance, including 16 working alongside top attorneys, Gabriella helps individuals and professionals navigate the financial complexities of divorce with clarity and confidence. She makes complex financial topics easy to understand, offering real-world strategies that empower listeners to take control of their financial future.
WEBSITE: https://www.everafterwealth.com
Email: gabriella@everafterwealth.com
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/EverAfterWealth/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/everafterwealth/
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/everafterwealth
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Wendy, and this is Divorce Doesn't Suck. I'm
talking all about the life you can live after divorce.
You'll hear regular people's stories about their divorces and how
they reinvented themselves and grew. You'll also get invaluable advice
from experts who serve in the divorce community. A little
about me. I'm a former TV producer and mom of two.
I got divorced in two thousand and eight when there
were really no outlets or platforms for me to turn to.
(00:22):
So I'm paying it forward and have created a platform
to help men and women learn that there absolutely is
a fresh, new and exciting life after divorce. Come with
me on this journey and paint your brand new blank
canvas of happily ever after divorce. This episode is brought
to in part by the Needle Kuda Law Firm Guidance
that Moves Lives Forward. Welcome to another episode of Divorce
(00:44):
Doesn't Suck. On Wendy's slim my guest today. Oh well,
we'll just tell them we had a little audio issue.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
So we're hoping this is going to be great.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
She is a certified divorce financial analyst and the founder
of ever After Wealth, guiding individuals through financial decisions. After
twenty one years in the divorce world, she says, divorce
disrupts lives, but with the right strategy, it can be
a chance to rebuild. And that's all about my show, Gabrielle.
That's all about everything that I stand for. Here, this
(01:14):
is what happened to me, and this is how I
got to the other side and this time living my
best life. So here we go. Welcome to my show,
Gabriella Martinelli.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Hi, Wendy, thank you so much for having me on. Yes,
I follow your show and is amazing.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
And the amount of advice you give to individuals, which.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
At a time that they needed the most, I think
it's fantastic. And every time that we can put out
some education tape, some information, I love it. So I'm
so glad I'm here with you.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Oh, thank you. I'm grateful to have you here.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
And I've been saying this so much on my podcast
that it's so important to have the right financial information,
and I think that we don't realize that enough. So
I'm pushing this forward because I didn't have it in
my divorce, and so all this information is helpful I
want to back up and start, how did you wind
(02:06):
up in the divorce financial world? How did that happen?
First of all, and then your own personal story.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Okay, so this happened because I worked for divorce attorneys
for fifteen almost sixteen years, and during that time it
was usually high network divorces, very big funds in my area.
And I realized a little bit of the lack of
information that was on.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
The financial side. Right.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
You have these attorneys trying to help their clients, and
you see those clients going feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, almost even
in situations where you say, there is money here you're
going to be getting, there should be a way for you.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
To feel a little bit more comfortable about your future.
But then it still didn't.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
So that was a little bit what.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Got me to start looking into the numbers. Why is
that attorneys are having a hard time connected.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
With their clients and why clients.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Feels so hopeless in situations where that is definitely wealth
being divided, right, And that's when I found out the
CDFA certification and I made the decision to go onto
the financial world. I wanted to learn everything I could
about the financial world. Went onto Maryland, got all my licenses,
started working as a wealth management, got non certification, and at.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
That moment I realized there was a little bit of
a conflict.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Of interest being a wealth manager and also trying to
do cdfa work which is speciffect to the divorce says,
if you will, And that's how I opened my phone,
because I wanted to help individuals during that particular transition,
making sure they understood what they were talking about, understood
their options, and made the best decisions they could with
the right information and education, which I think that was
(03:45):
what extremely lucky in the in the side.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Oh my god, so I get exactly why you wound
up this because that part, that part is missing. I
mean divorce attorneys there. I mean, I'm sure they have
their financial you know, they know, but you really need
some and that's certified in that arena because for the
most part, all of us, our biggest asset right in
your in your marriage is probably your house.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Yes, yes, it is the house.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
The main thing retirement accounts if you have long term marriages, right,
and then potentially a business if you have you have
a business owner and attorneys.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
You're correct, they do understand some of the finances right.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
They do this, they deal with this, but there's so
many nuances and consequences, dots, rules that are totally different
for someone going.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
To a divorce.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Then someone's just making a financial decision, and at any
time in their life, that is very important that, especially when.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
There's a lot of.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Wealth, different accounts, different information that has to be decided
how to divide, it's important to have the actual expert
to understand what happens financially.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Just legally financially during this process.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Absolutely, with the right clarity, a divorce becomes a lot
less overwhelming in that arena.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
Yeah, I kinder, I mean you have all the emotions
of divorce right, and then you will have your terrified
because there's individuals sometimes that literally terrify of their financials
going forward, what's going to happen to them.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
So yes, absolutely you get a little bit of more
peace of mind if you will you feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
My biggest I mean I got divorced a very long
time ago, but I one of the biggest, Oh my god,
was that financial affidavit shoot me once and twice and
over and over again, Like how many times you have
to update it? How many times you have to do it.
How confusing is it? I mean it's crazy. So what
are some common financial mistakes that people make and divorce
and how can a CDFA like you help?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Okay, so the first mistake is believing you don't need
that is the forward mosque, the biggest one, because we
have individuals.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
That is are have really good careers, owned businesses. I
work with a lot of doctors. Does not because your
nose are But you need us effect for two reasons.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
First of all, we understand what's going to happen and
the end right, Like if.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
You divide the house, if you have to sell the house,
go to.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
A tax consequences, if you divide retirement accounts, how you make.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
It work for you and your future?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
If you have a business, So we can actually help
you understand what are you're looking into as a consequence.
And at the same time, you know how everybody keeps saying, oh,
financial decisions are emotional and you have to.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Look into the behavior of finance and all that.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Well, imagine that times a hundred because you're going through
a divorce, so you're literally having to understand finances make
financial decisions that affect you forever without any help while
going through the emotions about divorce. It's literally a rust
before disaster, like you need the support, You need someone
(06:48):
that can come with a clear mind and information.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
A lot of the times when I tell my clients
is that.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
I'm going to give you so much information that you
may say stop, I can carry all that, but you're
going to be making their decisions because you're not going
to let the emotions run.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
I want the house because she wants the house, or
he wants the house, or I want that account because
that's the account he or she wanted. Let's just talk
numbersus he was better for you.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
And especially a little and rush right yes.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Even though you might want to keep the house, the
house might not be good for you in the long run.
It might not be the best financial decision to make.
And that was one of my big mistakes is I
wanted the big house. I wanted to keep it because
I felt like you got to keep the house, you
got to keep the kids in consistency. But wherever I
was going to be, the kids were going to be okay.
And that was a big financial mistake that I made
because that was our biggest asset and that wasn't good
(07:42):
what are the first steps to financial stability after divorce?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Well, I think it starts when you are making those decisions,
when you understand.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
What you're looking into.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
So budget is important, especially for at home moms.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Right of your even if you're not to say at
home mom, or you're going to be dependent on some level,
you need to understand your budget. You need to understand
your day to day house's going to look like. For example, okay,
you keep the house or not, how is.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
That gonna look for your budget?
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Do you act to go rent?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Nowadays buying is super expensive by interest rates are very high,
so that's like, how is it gonna look like?
Speaker 4 (08:14):
And look into all I'm I'm gonna need insurance.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
People don't think about that, like if dot the world
you need your own insurance.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
That's another extra expense.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
So I think the main thing is understanding your day
to day expenses in the media future, and you don't
make a significant decisions that first year because a lot
of people say, oh, I'm going to buy a house.
Will let's just hold on a minute, right, if you're
able to rent for a year, let's see when you
start processing all this emotionally, then you can decide I'm
(08:41):
gonna buy a house where a lot of people have
little kids. You know, you want them in the school
area or things of their nature.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
But I think the first thing will be for a year.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Do you not make significant financial positions after you have
a settlement And at the same time talk to do
financial advisor.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
When I work with my clients and usually connect them
with that.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Good financial advisor because you need that advice going forward.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
I cannot help you with that. I like all my
licenses and all so, but you need a plan. And
I think it's important that we understand and.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Being hamble enough to know that you need the advice
because you need to protect your future. So you may
get millions of millions of dollars in different ways in
the settlement.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
If you don't protect how to have a plan, you
may not have it.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
So we start a plan during the process.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
You need to follow through and remember what is the
initial goal.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I can do.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
I can show you what it would look like you're
settlements side ten to fifteen, twenty years.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
Later on, but you do have to have a plan that.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Actually moves you forward as well. I like you have
to have a plan.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yeah, absolutely, a plan.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Gabriella Martinelli, the founder of ever After Wealth. We're going
to take a very quick break for one of our sponsors.
Will be right back with a commercial break, and I'm
going to ask her key factors business owners could should
consider in divorce, because when you're in busin business, not
just married, that's a whole another ball game. We'll be
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and build lasting financial stability. We're back with Gabriella Martinelli,
founder of ever After Wealth. So if you're in business together,
(11:33):
what happens then, ah, that is a little bit more complicated.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Right, So if you are.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
In business with your spouse, the hardest part about that
is more likely somebody will have to leave the business.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Right.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
I think on a your listed level, we need to
understand you can really stay in partners which you are
soon to be assessment and then assessment or why any
threw other level of conflict.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
So there's two parts to that.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
If you own the business, and I think this is
a very clear decision.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
That we need to make.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
If you own the business with your spouse, which could
be your spouse or any other partner.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
When you divide the business, it's not just about the
business being divided between two partners, but it's also being
divided as a moral state, which is different when you
own the business and your spouse is not the owner
of paper, right, but.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
The business is the moral's part of the viral state.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
So you have to divide it in the sense that we.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Need to create have a value for that business and
buy out that spouse as part.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
Of the vehicle of distribution of the distribution.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Of the assets.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
So when you are working with your spouse and you
own a business, it's important to have an understanding of how.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
These would look like once you don't have your partner,
because it's going to affect your business.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Right. A lot of the times I work with doctors
with doctors or spouses. They work together so that we
could buy patients and we had to open and break
out any The business is an entity on its own,
it's a legal entity.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
So you have to divide an entity.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Illegally and then move back to the process of providing it.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Because of the marriage right, And in reality, it's almost unusual,
very unusual that.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
I judge to say, okay, yes, the parties keep the business,
they continue to.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Run it together. When you're going to a divorce, it's
almost about showing who should probably keep and run the business.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Which is easier to do. It's just one of the
spouses in the.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Owner right, because is the one running in is their
business in the sense that they own it and run
it and grow it.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
The spouse is entitled to buy out out of the
business as a viral.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Asset, not as a business itself, if you will. So
those are two big the extinctions when it comes to
business owners going through this process. And again most depending
on the title services that we will provided. One of
those bouses who want to move on anyway, he's very
rao to say, oh yeah, I want to stain this business.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
With running with this person. But it gets a little complicated.
It's like who keeps what, who keeps.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
This employee, the other employee who you know, depending on
the type of business.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
So a lot of times if they own the business together,
we see that being sold and everyone goes.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Their own way and then potentially create.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Their own businesses if they are.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Both spouses are business owners, entrepreneurs, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
If it's one of those bouses, it's just a buy.
Speaker 5 (14:31):
Out basically, in trying to figure out how to.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Do that, Gabriella, what if they don't.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
I actually had a guest on that they wound up
keeping it because neither of them would let go of
the business.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
So it's actually a.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Really good it was a very good interview, and it
was very very very hard for a very very long time.
But now they're actually finally coming together because I guess
years later when the pain and the hurt and the
heartache and all the emotions wear off, so I guess
it can be done.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
But in the best instrance, it's probably not.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
That is correct. And also you have to have the
parameters right. Anything you're going to do with your soon
to be excess spouse, you need to make sure that there's.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
An agreement that establishes how everything is going to work.
Like for example, sometimes because spouses they keep the house
together because they want to keep the kids, because you know,
they don't want to sell it right away.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Interest rates are crazy anyway.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
So we'll say, okay, how is this going to work?
We're going to own it together, but somebody has to
have a little bit more saying depending on who's living
in the house.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Right, as far as the parameters.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
If you have all the rules established and that business
has an operational agreement where everybody is on board with that,
God will work. But you have to give down to
the details to know how because problems are going to
arise and you're going to deal with more emotions that
it's just a regular business partner that we usually have
just with.
Speaker 5 (15:48):
Right, this is your excess spouse. And then maybe what
if with one's spouse it's a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
And there's a spouse, Like those.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Things were human, it's human nature, right with all those emotions.
So if you're going need to do that, which it
could be done, you need to understand that you need
to have all the information and the parameters in an agreement.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
That there's no doubt how this is gonna work.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
We can always go back to the paper, right, And that.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Makes me a little bit more peace, makes a lot
of sense, and we got let's talk about keeping the
emotions out of it as best as you can, which
it's not that easy. I know you're laughing, but it's true, right,
It's not that easy.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
No, of course not.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
And you have to understand, especially when one of the
spouses owns the business.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
That's platter baby, right, like we run this businesses.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
You know, you're a business owner.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I'm a business owner. This is our baby.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
And it's really interesting how the usually the rhetoric changes,
right like, while you're married, you have a launch marriage,
you have this business, you're successful. Oh my god, I
couldn't do that without by his spouse, and she's there,
he's there to support me and he's helping she's helping
me grow this business.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
Then we couldn't have done and blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
The moment you go through this separation, why is she
getting anything of my business?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
You never help me, you know, he never did anything.
And that is just part of the emotion.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
Of breaking out the relationship and the partnership, and it's very.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
Hard for those individuals to understand.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
The business is a maral asset, like the car, like
your house, anything else you own together.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
That is the business.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
And I understand the fact that you put all of
your sweat and tears into growing it, but there is
probably something that she or he was doing at Hope
while you were doing this, So the divided disaster, that
is a way to recognize that there was also help.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
On the other sidewy. And that is the biggest challenge
for my clients to understand that.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
It brings the.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
Emotions down to a point where we're.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
Dividing an asset.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
You're still keeping the asset. Nobody's taking your business away
from you.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
You're just gonna have to do a payout and we're
gonna have to figure out how to make that.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
Happen, to make that old because of the asset.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
But it's very hard.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
I work very hard to bring my clients back to earth.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
I call it like, let's forget the emotions for a minute.
This is a business transduction.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
And business owners are understand business transuction.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
So it is a little bit less complicated when I tell.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
My business owners, come here, this is a business transuction.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Let's make it work. When I work with this spouse
that is.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Not a business owner, it's a little different how I
will present it, but it's again it's still as a
business transaction. The vote is transactional when it comes to
the financial side of things, and that's why you need
to kind of come down the emotions That's why it's
important to have someone like me that will bring that
clarity to help you make those decisions without the emotion
(18:43):
or without as much as possible.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Absolutely with others.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
One are the biggest misconceptions about the financial impact of
divorce Gabriella, Well.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
The biggest thing is like i am going to lose
my business and I'm not going to have a house,
I'm going to lose my money going to go forward
and things of that nature. People tend to overreact because
of the panic, especially the individuals that don't understand finances.
Speaker 4 (19:09):
Their scared and it's understandable. But if you.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Are a high netbor divorce there is You're not going
to be go hungry.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
You're not going to lose your home.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
The key is to have a good plan and a
good strategy.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
I am all about financial strategy.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
During the process, you have to understand more exactly is
that you want without wanting to make the other one
pay or suffer.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Right, you have to just come to terms of what
you want and you will be okay.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Like again, I tell always my clients, you will be okay.
You need to have the right support system and the
right team, and I do think that a lot of
people get the short end of the stick if you
want a divorce. But if you look, if I look
at them when I gets to come to me two
three years after the fact of three, two three years
after we've been dealing with this process, which is draining
(20:01):
everybody's emotional state and money, is because they didn't have.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
The support, because they didn't have the strategy.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
If you have it, you will be okay, right and
look at it that way, and you try and get
people to look at it that way. Can you share
briefly your own experience of your own divorce, Gabrielle, Yes,
mine was a.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Little different I did it did not come from a
lot of wealth, but I knew nothing about the finances.
And on top of that, I came from a very
different country where finances were.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Very different for me.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
So I could not understand anything about the finances.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
And you came back.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
I always thought to myself, I went through my separation
and my divorce almost twenty more than twenty years ago,
and no one talked to me about what I could
have done. And everything that I know now is somebody
would have bothered talking to me.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
I would have made different decisions if.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
I would have none. Of course, it just was told three.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
There were not really a lot of podcasts. There was
not a lot of information.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Like we have now. I'm so glad, right and I
think that this was this was.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
There, like, there's so many people that need this help and.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
We don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
And I could have made things very differently. I've got
mad different decisions. I have made different choices for me
and my kids. Of the time.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
It's just helped me because I know I was this
for it. I'm know how I was feeling.
Speaker 5 (21:29):
I want to bring that down to the people, and
I'm very glad.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
I'm very god down. We have this podcasting, we have
people like you and all.
Speaker 5 (21:34):
Those that we're trying to put this information.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Let's just get the information. Sometimes I feel like is
that over all of information?
Speaker 5 (21:40):
But I think that you can never.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Have too much.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
No, you can never have too much.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
A CDFA is so important when you're going through this process.
It's just first of all, it's a lot less expensive
than an attorney doing this for you, and we have
to just financial clarity during a divorce is like a
win win, and someone to take all all the emotions
(22:05):
out of it. And make it like the business transaction.
It that financially, it really is so all this information
is so helpful.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
We're going to have you back again for sure. This
was great.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
And we had a little we had a little mishap
with our our audio, but I think our audio.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
I think we did it. Gabrielle, I think we did it.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
So founder of ever After Wealth and I love that
title too.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Remember, divorce disrupts lives, but with the right strategy can
be a chance to rebuild.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
So having a CDFA.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Like Gabriella Martinelli is very, very important and I encourage
it so thank you so much.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Thank you so much, Wendy, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
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(23:09):
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(23:32):
three five five seven nine five zero zero
Hi, I'm Wendy, and this is Divorce Doesn't Suck. I'm
talking all about the life you can live after divorce.
You'll hear regular people's stories about their divorces and how
they reinvented themselves and grew. You'll also get invaluable advice
from experts who serve in the divorce community. A little
about me. I'm a former TV producer and mom of two.
I got divorced in two thousand and eight when there
were really no outlets or platforms for me to turn to.
(00:22):
So I'm paying it forward and have created a platform
to help men and women learn that there absolutely is
a fresh, new and exciting life after divorce. Come with
me on this journey and paint your brand new blank
canvas of happily ever after divorce. This episode is brought
to in part by the Needle Kuda Law Firm Guidance
that Moves Lives Forward. Welcome to another episode of Divorce
(00:44):
Doesn't Suck. On Wendy's slim my guest today. Oh well,
we'll just tell them we had a little audio issue.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
So we're hoping this is going to be great.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
She is a certified divorce financial analyst and the founder
of ever After Wealth, guiding individuals through financial decisions. After
twenty one years in the divorce world, she says, divorce
disrupts lives, but with the right strategy, it can be
a chance to rebuild. And that's all about my show, Gabrielle.
That's all about everything that I stand for. Here, this
(01:14):
is what happened to me, and this is how I
got to the other side and this time living my
best life. So here we go. Welcome to my show,
Gabriella Martinelli.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Hi, Wendy, thank you so much for having me on. Yes,
I follow your show and is amazing.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
And the amount of advice you give to individuals, which.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
At a time that they needed the most, I think
it's fantastic. And every time that we can put out
some education tape, some information, I love it. So I'm
so glad I'm here with you.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Oh, thank you. I'm grateful to have you here.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
And I've been saying this so much on my podcast
that it's so important to have the right financial information,
and I think that we don't realize that enough. So
I'm pushing this forward because I didn't have it in
my divorce, and so all this information is helpful I
want to back up and start, how did you wind
(02:06):
up in the divorce financial world? How did that happen?
First of all, and then your own personal story.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Okay, so this happened because I worked for divorce attorneys
for fifteen almost sixteen years, and during that time it
was usually high network divorces, very big funds in my area.
And I realized a little bit of the lack of
information that was on.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
The financial side. Right.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
You have these attorneys trying to help their clients, and
you see those clients going feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, almost even
in situations where you say, there is money here you're
going to be getting, there should be a way for you.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
To feel a little bit more comfortable about your future.
But then it still didn't.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
So that was a little bit what.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Got me to start looking into the numbers. Why is
that attorneys are having a hard time connected.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
With their clients and why clients.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Feels so hopeless in situations where that is definitely wealth
being divided, right, And that's when I found out the
CDFA certification and I made the decision to go onto
the financial world. I wanted to learn everything I could
about the financial world. Went onto Maryland, got all my licenses,
started working as a wealth management, got non certification, and at.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
That moment I realized there was a little bit of
a conflict.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Of interest being a wealth manager and also trying to
do cdfa work which is speciffect to the divorce says,
if you will, And that's how I opened my phone,
because I wanted to help individuals during that particular transition,
making sure they understood what they were talking about, understood
their options, and made the best decisions they could with
the right information and education, which I think that was
(03:45):
what extremely lucky in the in the side.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Oh my god, so I get exactly why you wound
up this because that part, that part is missing. I
mean divorce attorneys there. I mean, I'm sure they have
their financial you know, they know, but you really need
some and that's certified in that arena because for the
most part, all of us, our biggest asset right in
your in your marriage is probably your house.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Yes, yes, it is the house.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
The main thing retirement accounts if you have long term marriages, right,
and then potentially a business if you have you have
a business owner and attorneys.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
You're correct, they do understand some of the finances right.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
They do this, they deal with this, but there's so
many nuances and consequences, dots, rules that are totally different
for someone going.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
To a divorce.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Then someone's just making a financial decision, and at any
time in their life, that is very important that, especially when.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
There's a lot of.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Wealth, different accounts, different information that has to be decided
how to divide, it's important to have the actual expert
to understand what happens financially.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Just legally financially during this process.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Absolutely, with the right clarity, a divorce becomes a lot
less overwhelming in that arena.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
Yeah, I kinder, I mean you have all the emotions
of divorce right, and then you will have your terrified
because there's individuals sometimes that literally terrify of their financials
going forward, what's going to happen to them.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
So yes, absolutely you get a little bit of more
peace of mind if you will you feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
My biggest I mean I got divorced a very long
time ago, but I one of the biggest, Oh my god,
was that financial affidavit shoot me once and twice and
over and over again, Like how many times you have
to update it? How many times you have to do it.
How confusing is it? I mean it's crazy. So what
are some common financial mistakes that people make and divorce
and how can a CDFA like you help?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Okay, so the first mistake is believing you don't need
that is the forward mosque, the biggest one, because we
have individuals.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
That is are have really good careers, owned businesses. I
work with a lot of doctors. Does not because your
nose are But you need us effect for two reasons.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
First of all, we understand what's going to happen and
the end right, Like if.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
You divide the house, if you have to sell the house,
go to.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
A tax consequences, if you divide retirement accounts, how you make.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
It work for you and your future?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
If you have a business, So we can actually help
you understand what are you're looking into as a consequence.
And at the same time, you know how everybody keeps saying, oh,
financial decisions are emotional and you have to.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Look into the behavior of finance and all that.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Well, imagine that times a hundred because you're going through
a divorce, so you're literally having to understand finances make
financial decisions that affect you forever without any help while
going through the emotions about divorce. It's literally a rust
before disaster, like you need the support, You need someone
(06:48):
that can come with a clear mind and information.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
A lot of the times when I tell my clients
is that.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
I'm going to give you so much information that you
may say stop, I can carry all that, but you're
going to be making their decisions because you're not going
to let the emotions run.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
I want the house because she wants the house, or
he wants the house, or I want that account because
that's the account he or she wanted. Let's just talk
numbersus he was better for you.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
And especially a little and rush right yes.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Even though you might want to keep the house, the
house might not be good for you in the long run.
It might not be the best financial decision to make.
And that was one of my big mistakes is I
wanted the big house. I wanted to keep it because
I felt like you got to keep the house, you
got to keep the kids in consistency. But wherever I
was going to be, the kids were going to be okay.
And that was a big financial mistake that I made
because that was our biggest asset and that wasn't good
(07:42):
what are the first steps to financial stability after divorce?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Well, I think it starts when you are making those decisions,
when you understand.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
What you're looking into.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
So budget is important, especially for at home moms.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Right of your even if you're not to say at
home mom, or you're going to be dependent on some level,
you need to understand your budget. You need to understand
your day to day house's going to look like. For example, okay,
you keep the house or not, how is.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
That gonna look for your budget?
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Do you act to go rent?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Nowadays buying is super expensive by interest rates are very high,
so that's like, how is it gonna look like?
Speaker 4 (08:14):
And look into all I'm I'm gonna need insurance.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
People don't think about that, like if dot the world
you need your own insurance.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
That's another extra expense.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
So I think the main thing is understanding your day
to day expenses in the media future, and you don't
make a significant decisions that first year because a lot
of people say, oh, I'm going to buy a house.
Will let's just hold on a minute, right, if you're
able to rent for a year, let's see when you
start processing all this emotionally, then you can decide I'm
(08:41):
gonna buy a house where a lot of people have
little kids. You know, you want them in the school
area or things of their nature.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
But I think the first thing will be for a year.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Do you not make significant financial positions after you have
a settlement And at the same time talk to do
financial advisor.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
When I work with my clients and usually connect them
with that.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Good financial advisor because you need that advice going forward.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
I cannot help you with that. I like all my
licenses and all so, but you need a plan. And
I think it's important that we understand and.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Being hamble enough to know that you need the advice
because you need to protect your future. So you may
get millions of millions of dollars in different ways in
the settlement.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
If you don't protect how to have a plan, you
may not have it.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
So we start a plan during the process.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
You need to follow through and remember what is the
initial goal.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I can do.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
I can show you what it would look like you're
settlements side ten to fifteen, twenty years.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
Later on, but you do have to have a plan that.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Actually moves you forward as well. I like you have
to have a plan.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yeah, absolutely, a plan.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Gabriella Martinelli, the founder of ever After Wealth. We're going
to take a very quick break for one of our sponsors.
Will be right back with a commercial break, and I'm
going to ask her key factors business owners could should
consider in divorce, because when you're in busin business, not
just married, that's a whole another ball game. We'll be
write back from spring break to Memorial Day weekend. Co
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and build lasting financial stability. We're back with Gabriella Martinelli,
founder of ever After Wealth. So if you're in business together,
(11:33):
what happens then, ah, that is a little bit more complicated.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Right, So if you are.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
In business with your spouse, the hardest part about that
is more likely somebody will have to leave the business.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Right.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
I think on a your listed level, we need to
understand you can really stay in partners which you are
soon to be assessment and then assessment or why any
threw other level of conflict.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
So there's two parts to that.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
If you own the business, and I think this is
a very clear decision.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
That we need to make.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
If you own the business with your spouse, which could
be your spouse or any other partner.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
When you divide the business, it's not just about the
business being divided between two partners, but it's also being
divided as a moral state, which is different when you
own the business and your spouse is not the owner
of paper, right, but.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
The business is the moral's part of the viral state.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
So you have to divide it in the sense that we.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Need to create have a value for that business and
buy out that spouse as part.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
Of the vehicle of distribution of the distribution.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Of the assets.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
So when you are working with your spouse and you
own a business, it's important to have an understanding of how.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
These would look like once you don't have your partner,
because it's going to affect your business.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Right. A lot of the times I work with doctors
with doctors or spouses. They work together so that we
could buy patients and we had to open and break
out any The business is an entity on its own,
it's a legal entity.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
So you have to divide an entity.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Illegally and then move back to the process of providing it.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Because of the marriage right, And in reality, it's almost unusual,
very unusual that.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
I judge to say, okay, yes, the parties keep the business,
they continue to.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Run it together. When you're going to a divorce, it's
almost about showing who should probably keep and run the business.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Which is easier to do. It's just one of the
spouses in the.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Owner right, because is the one running in is their
business in the sense that they own it and run
it and grow it.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
The spouse is entitled to buy out out of the
business as a viral.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Asset, not as a business itself, if you will. So
those are two big the extinctions when it comes to
business owners going through this process. And again most depending
on the title services that we will provided. One of
those bouses who want to move on anyway, he's very
rao to say, oh yeah, I want to stain this business.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
With running with this person. But it gets a little complicated.
It's like who keeps what, who keeps.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
This employee, the other employee who you know, depending on
the type of business.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
So a lot of times if they own the business together,
we see that being sold and everyone goes.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Their own way and then potentially create.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Their own businesses if they are.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Both spouses are business owners, entrepreneurs, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
If it's one of those bouses, it's just a buy.
Speaker 5 (14:31):
Out basically, in trying to figure out how to.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Do that, Gabriella, what if they don't.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
I actually had a guest on that they wound up
keeping it because neither of them would let go of
the business.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
So it's actually a.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Really good it was a very good interview, and it
was very very very hard for a very very long time.
But now they're actually finally coming together because I guess
years later when the pain and the hurt and the
heartache and all the emotions wear off, so I guess
it can be done.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
But in the best instrance, it's probably not.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
That is correct. And also you have to have the
parameters right. Anything you're going to do with your soon
to be excess spouse, you need to make sure that there's.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
An agreement that establishes how everything is going to work.
Like for example, sometimes because spouses they keep the house
together because they want to keep the kids, because you know,
they don't want to sell it right away.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Interest rates are crazy anyway.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
So we'll say, okay, how is this going to work?
We're going to own it together, but somebody has to
have a little bit more saying depending on who's living
in the house.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Right, as far as the parameters.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
If you have all the rules established and that business
has an operational agreement where everybody is on board with that,
God will work. But you have to give down to
the details to know how because problems are going to
arise and you're going to deal with more emotions that
it's just a regular business partner that we usually have
just with.
Speaker 5 (15:48):
Right, this is your excess spouse. And then maybe what
if with one's spouse it's a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
And there's a spouse, Like those.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Things were human, it's human nature, right with all those emotions.
So if you're going need to do that, which it
could be done, you need to understand that you need
to have all the information and the parameters in an agreement.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
That there's no doubt how this is gonna work.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
We can always go back to the paper, right, And that.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Makes me a little bit more peace, makes a lot
of sense, and we got let's talk about keeping the
emotions out of it as best as you can, which
it's not that easy. I know you're laughing, but it's true, right,
It's not that easy.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
No, of course not.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
And you have to understand, especially when one of the
spouses owns the business.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
That's platter baby, right, like we run this businesses.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
You know, you're a business owner.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I'm a business owner. This is our baby.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
And it's really interesting how the usually the rhetoric changes,
right like, while you're married, you have a launch marriage,
you have this business, you're successful. Oh my god, I
couldn't do that without by his spouse, and she's there,
he's there to support me and he's helping she's helping
me grow this business.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
Then we couldn't have done and blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
The moment you go through this separation, why is she
getting anything of my business?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
You never help me, you know, he never did anything.
And that is just part of the emotion.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
Of breaking out the relationship and the partnership, and it's very.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
Hard for those individuals to understand.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
The business is a maral asset, like the car, like
your house, anything else you own together.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
That is the business.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
And I understand the fact that you put all of
your sweat and tears into growing it, but there is
probably something that she or he was doing at Hope
while you were doing this, So the divided disaster, that
is a way to recognize that there was also help.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
On the other sidewy. And that is the biggest challenge
for my clients to understand that.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
It brings the.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
Emotions down to a point where we're.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
Dividing an asset.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
You're still keeping the asset. Nobody's taking your business away
from you.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
You're just gonna have to do a payout and we're
gonna have to figure out how to make that.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
Happen, to make that old because of the asset.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
But it's very hard.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
I work very hard to bring my clients back to earth.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
I call it like, let's forget the emotions for a minute.
This is a business transduction.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
And business owners are understand business transuction.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
So it is a little bit less complicated when I tell.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
My business owners, come here, this is a business transuction.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Let's make it work. When I work with this spouse
that is.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Not a business owner, it's a little different how I
will present it, but it's again it's still as a
business transaction. The vote is transactional when it comes to
the financial side of things, and that's why you need
to kind of come down the emotions That's why it's
important to have someone like me that will bring that
clarity to help you make those decisions without the emotion
(18:43):
or without as much as possible.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Absolutely with others.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
One are the biggest misconceptions about the financial impact of
divorce Gabriella, Well.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
The biggest thing is like i am going to lose
my business and I'm not going to have a house,
I'm going to lose my money going to go forward
and things of that nature. People tend to overreact because
of the panic, especially the individuals that don't understand finances.
Speaker 4 (19:09):
Their scared and it's understandable. But if you.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Are a high netbor divorce there is You're not going
to be go hungry.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
You're not going to lose your home.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
The key is to have a good plan and a
good strategy.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
I am all about financial strategy.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
During the process, you have to understand more exactly is
that you want without wanting to make the other one
pay or suffer.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Right, you have to just come to terms of what
you want and you will be okay.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Like again, I tell always my clients, you will be okay.
You need to have the right support system and the
right team, and I do think that a lot of
people get the short end of the stick if you
want a divorce. But if you look, if I look
at them when I gets to come to me two
three years after the fact of three, two three years
after we've been dealing with this process, which is draining
(20:01):
everybody's emotional state and money, is because they didn't have.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
The support, because they didn't have the strategy.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
If you have it, you will be okay, right and
look at it that way, and you try and get
people to look at it that way. Can you share
briefly your own experience of your own divorce, Gabrielle, Yes,
mine was a.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Little different I did it did not come from a
lot of wealth, but I knew nothing about the finances.
And on top of that, I came from a very
different country where finances were.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Very different for me.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
So I could not understand anything about the finances.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
And you came back.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
I always thought to myself, I went through my separation
and my divorce almost twenty more than twenty years ago,
and no one talked to me about what I could
have done. And everything that I know now is somebody
would have bothered talking to me.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
I would have made different decisions if.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
I would have none. Of course, it just was told three.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
There were not really a lot of podcasts. There was
not a lot of information.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Like we have now. I'm so glad, right and I
think that this was this was.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
There, like, there's so many people that need this help and.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
We don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
And I could have made things very differently. I've got
mad different decisions. I have made different choices for me
and my kids. Of the time.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
It's just helped me because I know I was this
for it. I'm know how I was feeling.
Speaker 5 (21:29):
I want to bring that down to the people, and
I'm very glad.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
I'm very god down. We have this podcasting, we have
people like you and all.
Speaker 5 (21:34):
Those that we're trying to put this information.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Let's just get the information. Sometimes I feel like is
that over all of information?
Speaker 5 (21:40):
But I think that you can never.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Have too much.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
No, you can never have too much.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
A CDFA is so important when you're going through this process.
It's just first of all, it's a lot less expensive
than an attorney doing this for you, and we have
to just financial clarity during a divorce is like a
win win, and someone to take all all the emotions
(22:05):
out of it. And make it like the business transaction.
It that financially, it really is so all this information
is so helpful.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
We're going to have you back again for sure. This
was great.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
And we had a little we had a little mishap
with our our audio, but I think our audio.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
I think we did it. Gabrielle, I think we did it.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
So founder of ever After Wealth and I love that
title too.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Remember, divorce disrupts lives, but with the right strategy can
be a chance to rebuild.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
So having a CDFA.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Like Gabriella Martinelli is very, very important and I encourage
it so thank you so much.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Thank you so much, Wendy, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Nito Kuda Divorce and Family laws attorneys have guided Connecticut
and New York families through complex divorce actions, contested child custody,
and alimony disputes for over thirty years. Their Connecticut and
New York attorneys have extensive experience in family matters involving
substance abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, and many other X
factors that can complicate a divorce. Their attorneys adeptly manage
(23:09):
privacy and reputation concerns inherit to public divorce proceedings and
the related exposure for their ultra high net worth clients.
Find your new path forward, define your post divorce family,
and secure an enforceable agreement to protect your future with
Needlekuda Act. Now put the strength of their team behind you.
Visit them at Needlecuda dot com or call two O
(23:32):
three five five seven nine five zero zero
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