Chucky Sleeze

Jillian protests and Phil Collins breaks his silence.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
All right, okay, welcome back to the Ryan Chronicles. I'm
your hoes, Ryan Spinnaker. We got some things we need
to talk about today. We got some things that we
got to discuss me and you. Starting with what happened
to me this past weekend. I went to Chucky Cheeses,

(00:29):
the one down there on Route Too, because my little nephew,
Kim's boyfriends little boy was having a birthday party down there.
And you know, it's a good time. We was all
having a good time. Now. We was playing wait a mole.

(00:51):
We's you know, watching a little mechanical mouses, played guitar
things like that. We's doing fun stuff. And they got
a ball pit down there, And anybody who knows me
knows that I love a good ball pit. They're just
fun to be around. You jumping them, you frolic a

(01:11):
little bit, you throw them up, you play with the
balls a little bit. It's just a good time. Well,
while I was in there, if you guys remember from
last week, Giuseppe, he sent me a letter because he
thought I had some sort of a STZ. Well I don't,

(01:32):
but I do have a little bit of a poison
ivy on my on my bits okay, on my boys,
not the not the doger, but my boys. Okay, I
got a little bit down there. And why is in
a ballpit? It activated Well, the staff could see me

(01:53):
in the ballpit, but they can only see me from
about mid chest up up so to them, while I
was scratching my poison ivy, it looked like I was
doing something. The farious psych called the cops and I
ends up going to jail for the night. Again. You know,

(02:18):
it's all misunderstanding. It's not gonna turn into anything, okay,
but it is indeed a bit of an issue for
me because you know, now I got that stigma. Okay,
people are going around saying stuff like that and it's
not true. Uh, Jillian, she's had a hell of a week. Two.

(02:40):
She went to Cracker Barrel and protest and she went
in and ordered mimosa down there because they sell alcohol now.
And while they went to go, you know, make it
for her, she jumped up on the people next to
him's table and pulled down her pants. Now I'm only

(03:00):
speculating at this point, but I think what she was
gonna do was trying to either take a pooping on
her plates or in their drink. Cup. Okay, I don't know,
because she never made it that far. Because those tables
at what Jillian didn't understand, are not sturdy. Okay, they're
not that well built. You know, they got you know,

(03:21):
the assistant manager in the back making them when they
come in off the trucks, and he has no skills
when it comes to carpentry. Okay. So she gets up
there and the table gives way and she falls and
breaks her hip. Well she doesn't realize it for like
fifteen days. It wasn't that long. That's hyperbole, but a

(03:45):
few days she didn't know what was happening. Okay, but
you know she did get her a neck brace because
she was gonna sue Cracker Barrel anyway. So now Jillian
is involved in as a whole or deal with Cracker Barrel,
and it's gonna be in red to watch it play out.
Let's move on though, to some some emails. There's a day.

(04:06):
Let's see what we got here in an email front. Uh,
this first email is uh, this was from Giuseppe. Let's uh,
let's see what has to say. It says zero Ryan, Oh,
this is Giuseppe from Giuseppe's Pizza Pizzeria. Well, Giuseppe, I
know where you're from. Okay, if you remember, you know,

(04:29):
my mama around burns stuff down. My mama lost her
mind on you, okay, and meat balls all that, you know.
I know, GISEPPI where you're from. Let's let's let's let's
keep reading that. It says, Orion, I listened to your
show last week with genuine concern. I still have itching

(04:49):
on my donger. Well, Giseppe, if you have itching on
your donger, okay, it sounds to me like you're the
one with the issue. Okay, you know it sounds you're
the one needs to go get your little dog or swapped. Okay,
because I'm not the one who did that. I have
nothing to do with your std G Seppy, Okay, that's

(05:09):
not my issue, all right. Me and me a tam
down there. We didn't do anything, all right, ever, we oh,
I go down there and I'll get me, you know,
a video or two. Sometimes I don't know, but I
just we didn't do anything. Okay. I don't know where
it's coming from. J Seppy, Let's keep reading. It says Ryan,

(05:32):
are you positive that you never touched her? I'm concerned
about what has gone down. Maybe you you know, went
back to the stock room with her, or maybe you
went to, you know, the local health food store and

(05:52):
you guys got a little randy there. Why would I
get brandy at a health food store? Just seppy. I
don't even understand that it. Organic carrots are erotic. Okay,
but that's not me. Okay. I don't do stuff like
that public. I don't do anything. I haven't done anything.
Let's keep reading, though. It says Ryan, I am very

(06:15):
very concerned that I have something that I have to
get rid of. Please let me know if this is
the case, because I would love to get some sort
of antibiotic ointment. Just set you go to a doctor.
Just go to a doctor. That's all you gotta do that.
This is not an issue for me. It's an issue
for you, okay, and your healthcare provider, all right, and

(06:36):
in that lady at the insurance company who calls you
to explain your benefits, you guys can can work all
that out. But I'm not part of it. And you
know I'm done. I'm done with it. Juseppe is accusations
flying about me. Okay, I'm done, not not listen to
it anymore. But I will be or some pizzas from
you later on this week. I call you, Actually, I

(06:56):
can't call you. I forgot you got phone. I'll send
you the text message for over the internet to get
me a little Pepperoni slished. Okay, I'm gonna put some
Halpenios on it this time, because, if I'm being honest
with you, Halpenos the second best pizza combination that there is. Okay,
let's move on. Let's move on from this email. This
was the next email. Okay, okay, this was from Phil Collins,

(07:20):
and in parenthesis it says not to say Phil Collins.
So me and Phil had a little bit of issue
here lately. Phil is he quit talking to me. We
fell out contact a while back. If you remember, Phil
thought he was in love with me, Well, it turns

(07:40):
out Phil was not in love with me. Phil was
in love with my fame because of my podcast. I
guess you could say Phil's a star fornicator. Okay, So Phil,
you know, he ran around for a little bit telling
people we were together, expecting the tabloids to come and

(08:05):
you know, take pictures of him and do stories on it,
so he could become like a socialite and be famous
in his own right, kind of like you know, Paris Hilton,
where he just you know, will be famous just because
things like that. Well, Phil didn't realize, and what he
didn't know was that, you know, I'm not really famous

(08:25):
enough for tabloids to come around. Tabloids aren't just following me.
Well he didn't know that, so you know, he quit
talking to me for a long time. It's the first
time I heard from him in a while. Let's see
what this has to say. That says Jill Ryan. This
is Phil Collins, and in parentheses it says not that
Phil Collins Ryan, Jill Collins found me. Well, that's bad

(08:54):
news for you, Phil Collins, because Jill Collins as certifiably nuts.
Let's keep reading it, says Ryan. I haven't seen her physically,
but she has sent threatening letters to the house. Well,
let's start off correcting that you don't live in a house,
Phil Collins. You live in a pop up trailer, pop

(09:17):
up camper, okay, over in a trailer park. But it
ain't even on a lot. Okay, it's right there in
the ditch and it's stuck. I don't even think you
get out. It's not even yours. You just kind of
squat there. Okay, so let's not you know, let's not
go that far. It's a house, okay, number one, number two.

(09:37):
Do you have an address? I don't think so. I
don't believe that you have a street address. There's the
house she's sending you letters. Let's keep reading it, says Ryan.
As you know, I don't have a street address. Okay,
he's gonna he'll explain. Let's let's see what this has
to say. It says she sent them to my po Well,

(10:01):
who has a po box of Phil? What kind of
the various things are you doing? Let's let's keep reading it,
says Ryan. She told me that she was going to
smack me around for a while and then write on
my face. Phil, Good sounds like you guys are working

(10:22):
it out. It sounds like you're doing a pretty good
job getting back together with your wife and this could
work out well for you. Let's let's keep reading. Ryan.
The rest of the letter goes on to say that
she would be writing on my face, but my face
will not be attached to my skull. That's bad. That's

(10:45):
not good for you, Phil Collins, good luck with that.
I don't understand why you want to talk to me
about it, though. Let's keep reading see if he explains it.
It says Ryan. As you know, we have not talked
in a while, but I'm scared now. I need your help. Ryan.
I don't want to ask you, but I have to

(11:08):
because the local police have told me that there's nothing
they can do about it because they don't know where
Jill Collins is at. The chief menendez, I actually laughed
in my face. Well, he'll do that. He tends to
do that, you know sometimes from time to time. He
doesn't understand, you know, and this is, you know, a

(11:29):
domestic incident. So he shouldn't be that way. He should
be a little more sensitive. But let's let's keep reading. This,
says Ryan, You're the only one Jill will come out
of hiding for. She's obsessed with you. She stopped contacting
you because of the cease and desist order that you

(11:49):
got before she left. Well that's weird because there's really
nothing to it. She thinks she would still be contact
with me, but I guess, you know, the law still
has a little, you know, a bit of a pool
around here. I guess let's keep reading it, says Ryan.
Please call her hiding and kill her. I'm not killing

(12:10):
her way, Phil Collins, I don't know what is wrong
with you. We're done. We're done with this because you know,
FCC hear this, Phil Collinson, and I'm gonna be shut down.
So we're done not doing that, Phil Collins. Thank you
for your email though. That was very nice. Okay, let's
keep moving, let's keep on going. Let's move on to
a rise week in review. So this week, Mama I

(12:34):
let her know about what was going on with you know,
missus Cumbacker up here pooping at the bar. And you know,
Mama didn't seem too surprised by it. Mama told me
that he's been pooping at bars for years. She said,
he'll go down there with a different girl every night,
and he'll go in there and poop at a bar

(12:56):
with her. And I said, Mama, why you allowed us
to go on right under your nose? You know he's
down there pooping. What if he goes in there and
poops and you know, some water splashes up me get
something weird on him, and then you end up with
something weird on you. Or what happens if he goes
down there, you know, and he doesn't wait properly, something
like that, you know, and you know how it is

(13:19):
when you've been drinking. You know, it's a little you know,
consistency is a little off. And you know, Mama, she
just told me. She says, sometimes when you love a
man very much, you overlook things like him pooping in
a bar because you desperately don't want it to be true. Okay,
And I can understand that, you know, I understand those things,

(13:43):
But pooping in a bar is just mind boggling. I
don't understand that, Like that's almost unforgivable. You know, I
just don't get it. But you know, she seems to
be come to terms with you know, they're split, but
I'm hoping they get back together beause I already lost
one daddy, okay, in my daddy's black ops. Okay, And

(14:04):
you guys know how I feel about my daddy. But
also I feel pretty good about mister Cronbacher. He's a
pretty nice guy. Well, has some Ryan Chronicles for today.
Remember to tune in every Wednesday for a new episode,
and I'll be right here with you shooting the bull. Bye.