November 13, 2023 • 15 mins
Colin’s transformation begins as he steps into the garden with Mary and Dickon. His health improves rapidly, and he gains confidence. The magic of the garden works not only on his body but also on his mind, bringing him a newfound sense of independence and joy. Summary by Dream Audio Books
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(00:02):
This is a LibriVox recording. AllLibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer,please visit LibriVox dot org. This reading
by Kara Shallenberg www dot kay dotorg. The Secret Garden, Chapter seventeen
(00:25):
A tantrum. She had got upvery early in the morning and had worked
hard in the garden, and shewas tired and sleepy. So as soon
as Martha had brought her supper andshe had eaten it, she was glad
to go to bed. As shelaid her head on the pillow, she
murmured to herself, I'll go outbefore breakfast and work with dickon and then
(00:51):
afterward, I believe I'll go seehim. She thought it was the middle
of the night when she was awakenedby such dread sounds that she jumped out
of bed in an instant. Whatwas it? What was it? The
next minute she felt quite sure.She knew doors were opened and shut,
(01:12):
and there were hurrying feet in thecorridors, and some one was crying and
screaming at the same time, screamingand crying in a horrible way. It's
Colin, she said, He's havingone of those tantrums the nurse called hysterics.
How awful it sounds. As shelistened to the sobbing screams, she
(01:37):
did not wonder that people were sofrightened that they gave him his own way
in everything. Rather than hear them. She put her hands over her ears
and felt sick and shivering. Idon't know what to do. I don't
know what to do, she keptsaying, I can't bear it. Once
(01:57):
she wondered if he would stick ifshe dared to go to him, And
then she remembered how he had drivenher out of the room, and thought
that perhaps the sight of her mightmake him worse. Even when she pressed
her hands more tightly over her ears, she could not keep the awful sounds
out. She hated them so andwas so terrified by them that suddenly they
(02:21):
began to make her angry, andshe felt as if she should like to
fly into a tantrum herself and frightenhim as he was frightening her. She
was not used to any one's tempersbut her own. She took her hands
from her ears and sprang up andstamped her foot. He ought to be
stopped. Somebody ought to make himstop. Somebody ought to beat him,
(02:46):
she cried out. Just then sheheard feet almost running down the corridor,
and her door opened, and thenurse came in. She was not laughing
now by any means. She evenlooked rather pale. He's worked himself into
hysterics, she said, in agreat hurry. He'll do himself harm.
(03:07):
No one can do anything with him. You come and try like a good
child. He likes you. Heturned me out of the room this morning,
said Mary, stamping her foot withexcitement. The stamp rather pleased the
nurse. The truth was that shehad been afraid she might find Mary crying
and hiding her head under the bedclothes. That's right, she said, you're
(03:31):
in the right humor. You goand scold him, give him something new
to think of. Do go,child, as quick as ever you can.
It was not until afterward that Maryrealized that the thing had been funny
as well as dreadful. But itwas funny that all the grown up people
were so frightened that they came toa little girl just because they guessed she
(03:53):
was almost as bad as Colin himself. She flew along the corridor, and
the nearer she got to the screams. The higher her temper mounted, she
felt quite wicked. By the timeshe reached the door, she slapped it
open with her hand and ran acrossthe room to the four posted bed.
(04:14):
You stop, she almost shouted,you stop. I hate you. Everybody
hates you. I wish everybody wouldrun out of the house and let you
scream yourself to death. You willscream yourself to death in a minute,
and I wish you would. Anice, sympathetic child could neither have thought
(04:35):
nor said such things, but itjust happened that the shock of hearing them
was the best possible thing for thishysterical boy, whom no one had ever
dared to restrain or contradict. Hehad been lying on his face, beating
his pillow with his hands, andhe actually almost jumped around he turned so
(04:57):
quickly at the sound of the furiouslittle voice. His face looked dreadful,
white and red and swollen, andhe was gasping and choking. But savage
little Mary did not care an atom. If you scream another scream, she
said, I'll scream too, andI can scream louder than you can,
and I'll frighten you. I'll frightenyou. He actually had stopped screaming because
(05:25):
she had startled him, so thescream which had been coming almost choked him.
The tears were streaming down his face, and he shook all over.
I can't stop, he gasped,and sobbed. I can't, I can't,
you can, shouted Mary. Halfthat ails you is hysterics and temper.
(05:48):
Just hysterics. Hysterics, hysterics,and she stamped each time she said
it. I felt the lump.I felt it choked out Colin. I
knew I should. I shall havea hunch on my back and then I
shall die. And he began towrithe again and turned on his face and
(06:11):
sobbed and wailed. But he didn'tscream. You didn't feel a lump,
contradicted Mary fiercely. If you did, it was only a hysterical lump.
Hysterics makes lumps. There's nothing thematter with your horrid back, nothing but
hysterics. Turn over and let melook at it. She liked the word
(06:32):
hysterics and felt somehow as if ithad an effect on him. He was
probably like herself and had never heardit before. Nurse she commanded, come
here and show me his back thisminute. The nurse, missus Medlock,
and Martha had been standing huddled togethernear the door, staring at her,
(06:56):
their mouths half open. All threehad gasped with fright more than once.
The nurse came forward as if shewere half afraid. Colin was heaving with
great breathless sobs. Perhaps he hewon't let me, she hesitated in a
low voice. Colin heard her,however, and he gasped out between two
(07:20):
sobs. Show her, she'll she'llsee. Then it was a poor thin
back to look at. When itwas bared, every rib could be counted,
and every joint of the spine,though Mistress Mary did not count them
as she bent over and examined themwith a solemn, savage little face.
(07:43):
She looked so sour and old fashionedthat the nurse turned her head aside to
hide the twitching of her mouth.There was just a minute's silence, for
even Colin tried to hold his breath, while Mary looked up and down his
spine, and down and up asintently as if she had been the great
doctor from London. There's not asingle lump there, she said, at
(08:07):
last. There's not a lump asbig as a pin, except backbone lumps,
and you can only feel them becauseyou're thin. I've got backbone lumps
myself, and they used to stickout as much as yours do, until
I began to get fatter, andI am not fat enough yet to hide
them. There's not a lump asbig as a pin. If you ever
(08:28):
say there is again, I shalllaugh. No one but Colin himself knew
what effect those crossly spoken, childishwords had on him. If he had
ever had any one to talk toabout his secret terrors, if he had
ever dared to let himself ask questions, if he had had childish companions and
(08:50):
had not lain on his back inthe huge closed house, breathing an atmosphere
heavy with the fears of people whowere most of them ignorant and tired of
he would have found out that mostof his fright and illness was created by
himself. But he had lain andthought of himself and his aches and weariness
(09:11):
for hours and days and months andyears. And now that an angry,
unsympathetic little girl insisted obstinately that hewas not as ill as he thought he
was, he actually felt as ifshe might be speaking the truth. I
didn't know ventured the nurse that hethought he had a lump on his spine.
(09:35):
His back is weak because he won'ttry to sit up. I could
have told him there was no lumpthere. Colin gulped and turned his face
a little to look at her,could you, he said, pathetically,
Yes, sir, there said Mary, and she gulped too. Colin turned
(09:58):
on his face again, and butfor his long, drawn, broken breaths,
which were the dying down of hisstorm of sobbing, he lay still
for a minute, though great tearsstreamed down his face and wet the pillow.
Actually, the tears meant that acurious, great relief had come to
him. Presently, he turned andlooked at the nurse again, and strangely
(10:22):
enough, he was not like arajah at all as he spoke to her.
Do you think I could live togrow up? He said? The
nurse was neither clever nor soft hearted, but she could repeat some of the
London doctor's words. You probably willif you will do what you are told
(10:45):
to do, and not give wayto your temper, and stay out a
great deal. In the fresh air, Colin's tantrum had passed, and he
was weak and worn out. Withcrying, and this perhaps made him feel
gentle. He put out his heada little toward Mary, and I am
glad to say that her own tantrumhaving passed. She was softened too,
(11:07):
and met him half way with herhand, so that it was a sort
of making up. I'll I'll goout with you, Mary, he said,
I shan't hate fresh air. Ifwe can find he remembered just in
time to stop himself from saying,if we can find the secret garden,
and he ended, I shall liketo go out with you if Dickon will
(11:31):
come and push my chair. Ido so want to see Dickon and the
fox and the crow. The nurseremade the tumbled bed and shook and straightened
the pillows. Then she made collina cup of beef tea and gave a
cup to Mary, who was reallyvery glad to get it. After her
excitement, missus medlock and Martha gladlyslipped away, And after everything was neat
(11:58):
and calm and in order, thenurse looked as if she would very gladly
slip away. Also. She wasa healthy young woman who resented being robbed
of her sleep, and she yawnedquite openly as she looked at Mary,
who had pushed her big footstool closeto the four posted bed and was holding
Colin's hand. You must go backand get your sleep out, she said.
(12:22):
He'll drop off after a while ifhe's not too upset, then I'll
lie down myself in the next room. Would you like me to sing you
that song I learned from my eye? Ah, Mary whispered to Colin.
His hand pulled hers gently, andhe turned his tired eyes on her appealingly.
(12:43):
Oh yes, he answered, it'ssuch a soft song. I shall
go to sleep. In a minute. I will put him to sleep.
Mary said to the yawning nurse,you can go if you like, well,
said the nurse, with ann ata tempt at reluctance. If he
doesn't go to sleep in half anhour, you must call me, very
(13:05):
well, answered Mary. The nursewas out of the room in a minute,
and as soon as she was gone, Colin pulled Mary's hand again.
I almost told, he said,but I stopped myself in time. I
won't talk, and I'll go tosleep. But you said you had a
whole lot of nice things to tellme. Have you Do you think you
(13:28):
have found out anything at all aboutthe way into the secret garden. Mary
looked at his poor little tired faceand swollen eyes, and her heart relented.
Yes, she answered, I thinkI have, and if you will
go to sleep, I will tellyou tomorrow. His hand quite trembled,
(13:54):
Oh Mary, he said, OhMary, if I could get into it,
I think I should live to growup. Do you suppose that instead
of singing the eye a song,you could just tell me softly, as
you did that first day, whatyou imagine it looks like inside. I
am sure it will make me goto sleep, yes, answered Mary.
(14:16):
Shut your eyes. He closed hiseyes and lay quite still, and she
held his hand and began to speak, very slowly and in a very low
voice. I think it has beenleft alone so long that it has grown
all into a lovely tangle. Ithink the roses have climbed and climbed and
(14:39):
climbed until they hang from the branchesand walls, and creep over the ground,
almost like a strange gray mist.Some of them have died, but
many are alive, And when thesummer comes there will be curtains and fountains
of roses. I think the roundis full of daffodils and snowdrops and lilies
(15:03):
and iris working their way out ofthe dark. Now the spring has begun.
Perhaps perhaps the soft drone of hervoice was making him stiller and stiller,
and she saw it and went on, Perhaps they are coming up through
(15:24):
the grass. Perhaps there are clustersof purple crocuses and gold ones even now.
Perhaps the leaves are beginning to breakout and uncurl. And perhaps the
gray is changing, and a greengauze veil is creeping and creeping over everything,
and the birds are coming to lookat it because it is so safe
(15:48):
and still. And perhaps, perhapsperhaps very softly and slowly, indeed,
a robin has found a mate andis building a nest. And Colin was
asleep. End of Chapter seventeen,read by Kara Shallenburg on February ninth,
(16:15):
two thousand six, in Oceanside,California,
This is a LibriVox recording. AllLibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer,please visit LibriVox dot org. This reading
by Kara Shallenberg www dot kay dotorg. The Secret Garden, Chapter seventeen
(00:25):
A tantrum. She had got upvery early in the morning and had worked
hard in the garden, and shewas tired and sleepy. So as soon
as Martha had brought her supper andshe had eaten it, she was glad
to go to bed. As shelaid her head on the pillow, she
murmured to herself, I'll go outbefore breakfast and work with dickon and then
(00:51):
afterward, I believe I'll go seehim. She thought it was the middle
of the night when she was awakenedby such dread sounds that she jumped out
of bed in an instant. Whatwas it? What was it? The
next minute she felt quite sure.She knew doors were opened and shut,
(01:12):
and there were hurrying feet in thecorridors, and some one was crying and
screaming at the same time, screamingand crying in a horrible way. It's
Colin, she said, He's havingone of those tantrums the nurse called hysterics.
How awful it sounds. As shelistened to the sobbing screams, she
(01:37):
did not wonder that people were sofrightened that they gave him his own way
in everything. Rather than hear them. She put her hands over her ears
and felt sick and shivering. Idon't know what to do. I don't
know what to do, she keptsaying, I can't bear it. Once
(01:57):
she wondered if he would stick ifshe dared to go to him, And
then she remembered how he had drivenher out of the room, and thought
that perhaps the sight of her mightmake him worse. Even when she pressed
her hands more tightly over her ears, she could not keep the awful sounds
out. She hated them so andwas so terrified by them that suddenly they
(02:21):
began to make her angry, andshe felt as if she should like to
fly into a tantrum herself and frightenhim as he was frightening her. She
was not used to any one's tempersbut her own. She took her hands
from her ears and sprang up andstamped her foot. He ought to be
stopped. Somebody ought to make himstop. Somebody ought to beat him,
(02:46):
she cried out. Just then sheheard feet almost running down the corridor,
and her door opened, and thenurse came in. She was not laughing
now by any means. She evenlooked rather pale. He's worked himself into
hysterics, she said, in agreat hurry. He'll do himself harm.
(03:07):
No one can do anything with him. You come and try like a good
child. He likes you. Heturned me out of the room this morning,
said Mary, stamping her foot withexcitement. The stamp rather pleased the
nurse. The truth was that shehad been afraid she might find Mary crying
and hiding her head under the bedclothes. That's right, she said, you're
(03:31):
in the right humor. You goand scold him, give him something new
to think of. Do go,child, as quick as ever you can.
It was not until afterward that Maryrealized that the thing had been funny
as well as dreadful. But itwas funny that all the grown up people
were so frightened that they came toa little girl just because they guessed she
(03:53):
was almost as bad as Colin himself. She flew along the corridor, and
the nearer she got to the screams. The higher her temper mounted, she
felt quite wicked. By the timeshe reached the door, she slapped it
open with her hand and ran acrossthe room to the four posted bed.
(04:14):
You stop, she almost shouted,you stop. I hate you. Everybody
hates you. I wish everybody wouldrun out of the house and let you
scream yourself to death. You willscream yourself to death in a minute,
and I wish you would. Anice, sympathetic child could neither have thought
(04:35):
nor said such things, but itjust happened that the shock of hearing them
was the best possible thing for thishysterical boy, whom no one had ever
dared to restrain or contradict. Hehad been lying on his face, beating
his pillow with his hands, andhe actually almost jumped around he turned so
(04:57):
quickly at the sound of the furiouslittle voice. His face looked dreadful,
white and red and swollen, andhe was gasping and choking. But savage
little Mary did not care an atom. If you scream another scream, she
said, I'll scream too, andI can scream louder than you can,
and I'll frighten you. I'll frightenyou. He actually had stopped screaming because
(05:25):
she had startled him, so thescream which had been coming almost choked him.
The tears were streaming down his face, and he shook all over.
I can't stop, he gasped,and sobbed. I can't, I can't,
you can, shouted Mary. Halfthat ails you is hysterics and temper.
(05:48):
Just hysterics. Hysterics, hysterics,and she stamped each time she said
it. I felt the lump.I felt it choked out Colin. I
knew I should. I shall havea hunch on my back and then I
shall die. And he began towrithe again and turned on his face and
(06:11):
sobbed and wailed. But he didn'tscream. You didn't feel a lump,
contradicted Mary fiercely. If you did, it was only a hysterical lump.
Hysterics makes lumps. There's nothing thematter with your horrid back, nothing but
hysterics. Turn over and let melook at it. She liked the word
(06:32):
hysterics and felt somehow as if ithad an effect on him. He was
probably like herself and had never heardit before. Nurse she commanded, come
here and show me his back thisminute. The nurse, missus Medlock,
and Martha had been standing huddled togethernear the door, staring at her,
(06:56):
their mouths half open. All threehad gasped with fright more than once.
The nurse came forward as if shewere half afraid. Colin was heaving with
great breathless sobs. Perhaps he hewon't let me, she hesitated in a
low voice. Colin heard her,however, and he gasped out between two
(07:20):
sobs. Show her, she'll she'llsee. Then it was a poor thin
back to look at. When itwas bared, every rib could be counted,
and every joint of the spine,though Mistress Mary did not count them
as she bent over and examined themwith a solemn, savage little face.
(07:43):
She looked so sour and old fashionedthat the nurse turned her head aside to
hide the twitching of her mouth.There was just a minute's silence, for
even Colin tried to hold his breath, while Mary looked up and down his
spine, and down and up asintently as if she had been the great
doctor from London. There's not asingle lump there, she said, at
(08:07):
last. There's not a lump asbig as a pin, except backbone lumps,
and you can only feel them becauseyou're thin. I've got backbone lumps
myself, and they used to stickout as much as yours do, until
I began to get fatter, andI am not fat enough yet to hide
them. There's not a lump asbig as a pin. If you ever
(08:28):
say there is again, I shalllaugh. No one but Colin himself knew
what effect those crossly spoken, childishwords had on him. If he had
ever had any one to talk toabout his secret terrors, if he had
ever dared to let himself ask questions, if he had had childish companions and
(08:50):
had not lain on his back inthe huge closed house, breathing an atmosphere
heavy with the fears of people whowere most of them ignorant and tired of
he would have found out that mostof his fright and illness was created by
himself. But he had lain andthought of himself and his aches and weariness
(09:11):
for hours and days and months andyears. And now that an angry,
unsympathetic little girl insisted obstinately that hewas not as ill as he thought he
was, he actually felt as ifshe might be speaking the truth. I
didn't know ventured the nurse that hethought he had a lump on his spine.
(09:35):
His back is weak because he won'ttry to sit up. I could
have told him there was no lumpthere. Colin gulped and turned his face
a little to look at her,could you, he said, pathetically,
Yes, sir, there said Mary, and she gulped too. Colin turned
(09:58):
on his face again, and butfor his long, drawn, broken breaths,
which were the dying down of hisstorm of sobbing, he lay still
for a minute, though great tearsstreamed down his face and wet the pillow.
Actually, the tears meant that acurious, great relief had come to
him. Presently, he turned andlooked at the nurse again, and strangely
(10:22):
enough, he was not like arajah at all as he spoke to her.
Do you think I could live togrow up? He said? The
nurse was neither clever nor soft hearted, but she could repeat some of the
London doctor's words. You probably willif you will do what you are told
(10:45):
to do, and not give wayto your temper, and stay out a
great deal. In the fresh air, Colin's tantrum had passed, and he
was weak and worn out. Withcrying, and this perhaps made him feel
gentle. He put out his heada little toward Mary, and I am
glad to say that her own tantrumhaving passed. She was softened too,
(11:07):
and met him half way with herhand, so that it was a sort
of making up. I'll I'll goout with you, Mary, he said,
I shan't hate fresh air. Ifwe can find he remembered just in
time to stop himself from saying,if we can find the secret garden,
and he ended, I shall liketo go out with you if Dickon will
(11:31):
come and push my chair. Ido so want to see Dickon and the
fox and the crow. The nurseremade the tumbled bed and shook and straightened
the pillows. Then she made collina cup of beef tea and gave a
cup to Mary, who was reallyvery glad to get it. After her
excitement, missus medlock and Martha gladlyslipped away, And after everything was neat
(11:58):
and calm and in order, thenurse looked as if she would very gladly
slip away. Also. She wasa healthy young woman who resented being robbed
of her sleep, and she yawnedquite openly as she looked at Mary,
who had pushed her big footstool closeto the four posted bed and was holding
Colin's hand. You must go backand get your sleep out, she said.
(12:22):
He'll drop off after a while ifhe's not too upset, then I'll
lie down myself in the next room. Would you like me to sing you
that song I learned from my eye? Ah, Mary whispered to Colin.
His hand pulled hers gently, andhe turned his tired eyes on her appealingly.
(12:43):
Oh yes, he answered, it'ssuch a soft song. I shall
go to sleep. In a minute. I will put him to sleep.
Mary said to the yawning nurse,you can go if you like, well,
said the nurse, with ann ata tempt at reluctance. If he
doesn't go to sleep in half anhour, you must call me, very
(13:05):
well, answered Mary. The nursewas out of the room in a minute,
and as soon as she was gone, Colin pulled Mary's hand again.
I almost told, he said,but I stopped myself in time. I
won't talk, and I'll go tosleep. But you said you had a
whole lot of nice things to tellme. Have you Do you think you
(13:28):
have found out anything at all aboutthe way into the secret garden. Mary
looked at his poor little tired faceand swollen eyes, and her heart relented.
Yes, she answered, I thinkI have, and if you will
go to sleep, I will tellyou tomorrow. His hand quite trembled,
(13:54):
Oh Mary, he said, OhMary, if I could get into it,
I think I should live to growup. Do you suppose that instead
of singing the eye a song,you could just tell me softly, as
you did that first day, whatyou imagine it looks like inside. I
am sure it will make me goto sleep, yes, answered Mary.
(14:16):
Shut your eyes. He closed hiseyes and lay quite still, and she
held his hand and began to speak, very slowly and in a very low
voice. I think it has beenleft alone so long that it has grown
all into a lovely tangle. Ithink the roses have climbed and climbed and
(14:39):
climbed until they hang from the branchesand walls, and creep over the ground,
almost like a strange gray mist.Some of them have died, but
many are alive, And when thesummer comes there will be curtains and fountains
of roses. I think the roundis full of daffodils and snowdrops and lilies
(15:03):
and iris working their way out ofthe dark. Now the spring has begun.
Perhaps perhaps the soft drone of hervoice was making him stiller and stiller,
and she saw it and went on, Perhaps they are coming up through
(15:24):
the grass. Perhaps there are clustersof purple crocuses and gold ones even now.
Perhaps the leaves are beginning to breakout and uncurl. And perhaps the
gray is changing, and a greengauze veil is creeping and creeping over everything,
and the birds are coming to lookat it because it is so safe
(15:48):
and still. And perhaps, perhapsperhaps very softly and slowly, indeed,
a robin has found a mate andis building a nest. And Colin was
asleep. End of Chapter seventeen,read by Kara Shallenburg on February ninth,
(16:15):
two thousand six, in Oceanside,California,
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