October 15, 2025 • 24 mins
What if the seasons you’re desperate to move through are the very ones shaping who you’re becoming?
In this heartfelt conversation, Terri Matthews Woodall opens up about the lessons she’s learned through surrender, motherhood, marriage, and leadership. She shares the cost of perfectionism, the freedom of saying “no,” and how her faith has reframed what it really means to have balance.
Terri reminds us that the process — the in-between, the waiting, the growing — is where God does His most beautiful work.
Finding Beauty in the Process is an invitation to slow down, release control, and rediscover the grace woven into every step of your journey.
Subscribe, so you never miss an episode
Connect with Terri: Website: https://terrimatthews.co/
Instagram: @terri
Connect with Theresa: Website: https://theresabruno.net/
Instagram: @theresa.harper.bruno
Facebook: http://bit.ly/423kFJy
Get your copy of "He's Not Coming Back": https://bit.ly/40qGX6Y
In this heartfelt conversation, Terri Matthews Woodall opens up about the lessons she’s learned through surrender, motherhood, marriage, and leadership. She shares the cost of perfectionism, the freedom of saying “no,” and how her faith has reframed what it really means to have balance.
Terri reminds us that the process — the in-between, the waiting, the growing — is where God does His most beautiful work.
Finding Beauty in the Process is an invitation to slow down, release control, and rediscover the grace woven into every step of your journey.
Subscribe, so you never miss an episode
Connect with Terri: Website: https://terrimatthews.co/
Instagram: @terri
Connect with Theresa: Website: https://theresabruno.net/
Instagram: @theresa.harper.bruno
Facebook: http://bit.ly/423kFJy
Get your copy of "He's Not Coming Back": https://bit.ly/40qGX6Y
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
So you know, Terry listening, do you talk? There's so
many questions that I want to ask, But I would
think people listening to you would say, how does she
do it all?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
And you spoke to it a minute ago?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
And I want to go, how did you keep this
huge business you have going? What happened with you and
Lee with this autistic kid? Did it tear you apart
at first and then you pulled it back together? What
happened with your family? You know, there was this huge
world swirling around you when Jaden landed?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
How have you done it all? You know what I
would love to say, It's just about my prayer life.
And I know the word doesn't that sound good? Good?
The word two things? I didn't do it all. I
still haven't done it all. It is, honestly, and I
(01:05):
don't want to overspiritualize this. I can't even begin to
explain I don't do it all. I am probably the
absolute hardest on myself. I have a level of perfectionism
that's terrible. Sometimes I have to learn, like many how
to prioritize and put things in its rightful place and position.
(01:28):
That is something that something I picked up along my
road of adversity. Just like fruit. Fruit's good for you,
but too much fruit cause you to gain weight because
it's still natural sigar. Right, like even good things, too
many good things during the wrong time can cause an issue, right,
And so I am still learning how to do it.
(01:50):
The other thing is God and all of his graciousness
gives me an opportunity to share these things that actually
reinvigorate me, strengthened me, remind me of what He's brought
me through because I don't have to deal with that
Jaden anymore between the you know, his younger days. But
the thing about it is is that in addition to that,
(02:11):
He's placed tribe around me. I think that's why it's
so important, you know, to understand who your friends are
and who people are that are around you, because oftentimes
you're gonna need people to hold your hand and lift
you up. You know, you're you're gonna have those moments
where you're gonna question who am I, what am I doing?
How did I even get here? Especially life is still
(02:32):
swirling and at that time in my life, I lived
a very public life. I think at that time there
was always something being written about me, even if it
was local you know, may not have been on ET
news all the time, but if you're local and you're
in every major paper or the news is reporting on you, you
know what I mean, You're like you know, And I
never want to live a life that's not authentic.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I don't. I don't.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I have, unfortunately, and fortunately walk with some people in
some very public spaces entertainment spaces. Heck, my husband, you
know what I mean. Like you, it is a very
hard place to be when all the world has a
position and opinion about you and know nothing except for
some sixty second clip, right. And so the thing about
(03:18):
it is is that during that time of my life,
I needed to look like I held it all together.
And I wasn't trying to look like I held it
all together. I was gonna be me wherever I showed up.
And when you are juggling business, keep in mind, Jaden
is one of three kids. Okay, so I have two
(03:38):
girls that are just going through girl stuff and life
things and whatever, and you're trying to be a mom
and you're trying to manage I had already had a divorce,
like all those things. I have my husband, who's amazing,
and there are things that he's doing. I will tell
you the good thing with my husband and Jaden, I
didn't struggle through that. He has been the absolute most
(03:59):
amazing father that anybody could have prayed for. He has
had the patience, he has cried with me. He has
sat beside me through the hard things and every wakened moment.
You can't tell him anything in reference to his son
and how his son needs to operate the level of
love that he's shown. It's also ministered so without words,
(04:20):
his actions. His ability to contribute to Jaden's life the
way that he has has been the thing, you know.
And so I will say that it didn't tear us apart.
For sure. He also gave me the room in the
space because he saw calling on my life at times
that I didn't see. There were times still I was
questioning the Lord and everybody's. Your pulpit is not always
(04:46):
going to be at your local church on a Sunday.
You know, your pulpit might be this podcast. Your pulpit
might be social media if you use it for the
right things. Your pulpit might be that business that you've started.
I'm in marketplace ministry. I come across women all day
long and there's a vulnerable space in place sometimes that
I'm with women that they share they're open, you know.
(05:07):
I had my CFO one time, tell me have I've been,
you know, and I'm free to share this. The person
was working for me at that particular time had been
sexually violated at sixteen, and we were talking about numbers,
and somehow or another, this conversation ends up into a
particular place. So whatever the hurt and the pain is
or where God's positioned us, right, he positions us in
(05:31):
a place to be image bearers of him. And what
was hard for me was that to keep a good
balance if you you know, I if you think about
balance as a business woman, it means everything's equal. Everything's
never going to be equal. I'm not going to give
my husband one hundred percent, my kids one hundred percent,
my business one hundred percent, my friends one hundred percent.
And because again this is coming from where I grew up,
(05:55):
I was trying to keep everything you know, juggle and
right and on time, and you know, and perfectionism. You
add all of these things. It was a complete surrender
and I had to learn in my life where to
say no. That noe was a complete sentence that there's
no guilt and shame because right now I need to
spend this time with my kids. That doesn't let make
me less of a business woman. If right now I
(06:17):
need to spend this much time on my business, it
doesn't make me less of a mom, right, doesn't make
me less of a wife. We have been conditioned through
culture and compromising right that, Oh my gosh, we got
to keep all these things going. And because I typically
own things in male dominated spaces. Sorry, guys, if you're
listening to this, they're not that compassionate. They're not like
(06:38):
you know, They're not like, oh, you know she's going through.
If anything, I was taught, especially coming up in my
day and before I was for roof, for real entrepreneur.
I started out in corporate America.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
But you're used to hiding.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
And guess where I learned hiding from as a kid
Because I did not want people to know what was
happening in my life. I didn't want to be taken
away from my parents. I didn't want to be embarrassed.
I learned hiding, so when I got into the world,
I had to hide, right because I would look less strong,
less capable.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
All of the things, so you can see.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
How early on in your life, the very good things
that God might mean for good, the enemy's going to
try to use them for evil. But the very things
that God the enemy means for evil, God's going to
use it for good. And when I got into that
space and I finally I was hiding as an entrepreneur.
Quite honestly, in the very beginning. It's not that I
was trying to make people believe that things were perfect,
(07:32):
but I didn't want anybody to know where things were wrong.
I didn't want to say that it all couldn't be done.
I didn't want people to know that. You know, this
is a lot to manage. Two girls going through you know,
one's teenager, one's middle school. A kid, a brother who's
on the spectrum, who can't speak, who all my time
and attention has to be on him because of all
of his needs.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
You know.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Oh, I got to balance a business. I got to
show up, I got to look great in the conference room.
I got to be well put together. Oh they're writing
about you and all the wonderful things you do, but
they don't know all what you've sacrificed to make sure
that these things are happening. So they're just showing all
the outcome of obedience, but none of the journey in
the process through right, the suffering, the things you got
(08:13):
to endure, the sacrifices that come, the l darkness, the darkness, girl,
all of the things. And then at the same time,
you know, this is my second marriage. I wanted to
work all of the things and all of the stuff
that comes to get to know because it wasn't like
we grew up together, so this was a different thing.
You got two type A personalities, both strong in their
(08:34):
own ways. Right, he's an athlete. I already told you
I was competitive from the day of the Barbie story. Right,
So you have all of this stuff that's.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Swirling, right, girl, who you know.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Can manage a tornado?
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Maybe you?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
But me? No, not even me, but God.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
So the thing is.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I had to learn submission and surrender and that was
hard for me aside in those years like did you
put business on the back burner for a while? I
had to sacrifice, Oh for sure. You know. The thing
about it is, I've been told in this season that
(09:14):
I should have always been a designer and an architect.
I love homes. I've been visiting homes. I would sneak into.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Your homes with extraordinary beyond.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
And it's changed even since that homeward the video. But
the thing is is that thank you so much for that.
I have loved that since I was a kid, but
I didn't even know it was a possibility. I always
took on things that I felt like I could make
money really quickly and provide.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I've been doing that even before kids, right. And so
the thing is is that I have felt at times
that the things I most desired I placed on the
back burner. I didn't realize how. And and then even
once life got a little bit easier and I could
do a little bit different and a little bit more,
you know, what was a bit of a challenge for
me is I didn't see the significance. I'm like, how
(10:05):
am I getting people at Heaven by designer furniture helping
them with their space? And the Lord sent me through
understanding how he took time to build the arc, you know,
And that's a whole nother story for a different day,
but I'll tell you this. The thing is is that
you don't do it all. And whoever's telling you they are,
(10:29):
they're not from here.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I agree with you, you know, only I'm not from here, Theresa.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Today I'm still not doing it all right, like today
and when I was looking at my list, I mean,
just think about all of this year has been quite
busy for me. Even when our conversation came, it was busy.
But I literally had a mayor's dinner at my house.
I went from that to a baby shower days later,
from that to a graduation, from that to an unexpected death,
(10:55):
from that to people who are busying, to that to
a daughter who's having a baby. Like it's been NonStop,
and at the same time, business is still moving right.
I still have obligations as a partner in an innovation project.
I still have obligations to my children and to fulfill
the needs. But God teaches us priority. And if I'm
being honest, I don't know if I've always followed.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I can see I can see design.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
You know, he has said, He's told us it's him first,
our spouse, our kids, right, our family, and then our business.
And if we keep this order, it's like he guarantees
us that nothing will be missing, lacking and broken. And girl,
you're a businesswoman, you know this.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
And I know how many times I have not been
you know, like you, I've reached a point where, oh,
I was all in my ego.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
I was getting a lot of attention, and I.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Wasn't spiritually aligned, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
And I can look back on that period of time
of running two businesses and traveling all the time. Do
I wish I could dial back and take some of
those weekends back with my husband, you know? Do I
wish maybe I hadn't turned over so much of the
kids to him at a certain time in my life
because I was running in business so hard. So I
totally get it me. I only have five minutes left
(12:18):
with you, and you have said probably at least one
hundred really profound things. But could you encapsulate for our
viewers with all of your experience and all you've been through, Like,
just give them one thing that you would say, concentrate
on this today in your life to help you move
(12:39):
forward to be more spiritually aligned. Can you give us
one of your keys.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
When you think about why you were created? So a
lot of us spend time looking for purpose. Our real
purpose is just to point people back to heaven, and
God uses different instruments to do that. Orchestra. Right, there's
a saxophone that plays certain keys. The clarinet and the
piano and the violin and the trouble and all the
different things. There are all these different instruments in a
(13:10):
sense that God uses to create a sound. And what
I will tell you is is that many of us
get stuck because we don't feel like we understand our purpose.
Our real purposes is to just be in relationship with God.
We want control, we want to determine our own outcomes,
(13:32):
and there is a lot of submission in surrendering to
be able to be free and live in the moment.
That's very difficult. And I feel like people feel like
people who quote unquote have it like, oh, your bills
are paid, and you know, they think that you're in
some level of financial comfortability. So they feel like you
can say that, but I think that's far from the truth.
(13:52):
I think it's actually harder, because I've been on both sides.
It's a lot easier to make money, it's hard to
maintain it, you know what I mean. It's a whole
different thing in reference to that. And so what I
would say, we are so busy trying to chase our purpose.
(14:13):
We really need to know our identity and have our
relationship with Christ. All of those things will be and
we're we're discovering. We're not creating our purpose, right, We're
just discovering who God has already said that we are.
And so when I think about these particular things, I
would say for anybody who's out there, stop chasing, Stop
(14:36):
stop trying to figure it all out. I mean, I'm
in business, Theresa's in business. I'm sure there's going to
be a lot of people in business that are listening.
We are wired to forecast, create extra strategies, plans. You know,
what are we going to do in this? Are we
keeping it? Are we selling it? How are we building it?
Who's there?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Like?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
We're wired for that. But you've got to understand that
the things of God require us to be able to pivot,
to be flexible, and it may not look like what
we anticipate. It's almost like writing business down. You know,
it kills me when these banks tell you gotta have
a business plan. I'm like, a business plan needs to
be living an actor because this is never what you
write on paper. All I mean exactly constantly changes, right,
(15:19):
And so you have to think through the days that
are in front of you. Just today, there's that scripture
that I absolutely love where the Bible talks about do
the birds of the ear worry about what they should
eat or drink? No, And day by day he feeds
the birds. Neither shall we. God is constantly worried about
as being in the moment. We spend ninety percent of
(15:41):
our time preoccupied about the future. That's a real fact.
Go google it. We spend ninety percent majority of everything
we're doing. It's forecasting. So even if you're not in business,
you're always what's gonna happen with my games when they
get older, what's gonna happen in my marriage? When do
we downside?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
What?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
It's always something, and it's always We're never in the moment.
And if I could say anything, I wish I lived
in my moments a little bit more than what I
did in the past. I would have appreciated them. I
would have understood that there was a lesson in them.
I probably would have gotten a lesson sooner, right because
I was just trying to get past the pain. I
(16:20):
was just trying to get past the situation. I was
just trying to get past the circuman. I wanted to.
I wanted to get to the finish line. But there
is beauty in the process. And that process is in
a sense, it is you know, that whole dash in
between our name. There's beauty in that process. You know
that birth and that death date, that dash. There's beauty
(16:42):
in that process, and we don't see it. We don't
see it because we don't recognize that we have a
God that wants his children back. It reminds me of
a conversation I was having with my husband. He said,
you know what's so interesting to me. People want to
go to heaven, but they don't want to know the
(17:03):
person that they're going to heaven with that they're going
to be spending eternity with. He said, think about it.
If someone were to knock on our door, He said,
we're probably not the best example of this, because we
do open our door for a lot of people, even
if we don't know him well. But the thing is
is that think about it. If someone were to knock
on your door right now, right and said, hey, my
(17:23):
name is Jim or my name is Pam, you know,
and can I come and stay with you?
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Right?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
You would look at Jim or Pam like they're crazy.
Or maybe you heard of Jim and Pam through a friend,
right of a friend, but you don't know Jim and
Pam like that.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Would you really let Jim and Pam into your house
where you're sleeping and your most vulnerable hour. Oh no,
you probably wouldn't. So it's kind of like the same thing.
It's like we all want to go to heaven, but
we don't even want to know who we're residing with.
We don't want to spend the next necessary time that
it takes to put God first because we have put
(18:04):
everything else before God. We've put our money, We've put
our children, we've put our marriages, we've put our agendas,
we put all the desires of our heart. If I
could say one thing, know your identity in Christ. In
order to know your identity in Christ, you have to
go to the creator.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Right. You're not going to call Samsung to fix an
Apple problem. Right, You're going to go to the creator
or the manufacturer of that thing. Right. We got to
go to the manufacturer and creator of our life to
understand how we work and why we're designed the way
we are. What does that require? Prayer, spending quiet time
(18:45):
with the Lord, right when you're in relationship with somebody.
Were women. Think about the times that we were in
love and we couldn't wait for that phone call to
ring right. We were so excited we talk long on
the phone, didn't even know how long we've been on
the couldn't wait for the moment of the date and
the time because we desired to be with this person.
(19:07):
We could see our life with this person. We need
to get to that point with our relationship with the
Lord Jesus Christ. We need to get to that point.
We need to desire him. I don't always feel that way.
It's sometimes a sacrifice. Sometimes I'm sleep reading the Bible,
you know, falling asleep. I'm like, now, if I were
watching or doing something to my ese, be wide away.
(19:27):
If I'm shopping online, I'm not falling asleep in the
middle of an Amazon order or a Luis Baton order.
You know what I mean? How am I falling asleep
in the middle of the Bible? But it happens. So
the thing is, it is a long way to encapsulate it,
but it is your identity in Christ. How do you
get to that by getting to know the creator who've
(19:48):
created you? You don't got to figure out your identity.
He knows what it is. You're just going to the
manufacturer to see how you work. You're going to fulfill
your purposes through him, through conversation with him. Prayer is
just that. There's gonna be times you're on your knees.
There's gonna be times you're driving and talking to the
Lord out loud. There's gonna be times you're going for
a walk. There's gonna be times you're getting on a plane.
(20:08):
Wherever you're speaking to him right, speak to him, stay
in communication with him. If you got to ask God,
even if you should be ordering Dawn off of Amazon,
get that intimate with God where everything in a sense matters.
Don't think you got to just bring him the big
things or you gotta wait till something could catastrophic has happened.
Ask for the moment. Even my prayer this morning, before
(20:30):
my feet hit the side of my bed, is Holy
Spirit direct my path? What is it that you want
me today to do? Today? God? How can I put
a smile on your face today? What can I do
to serve your kingdom today?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Right?
Speaker 2 (20:40):
And so when you do those things, all other things
fall in order. I could give you a business list.
I got the one two threes of building a business
and building business credit and how to invest in creating
cap tables and all this and all that and all
this and all that. But none of that's gonna get
you in heaven. None of that is God gonna stand
(21:01):
before you unless you're using Unless that's the vehicle he's
given you to use still to minister to his sons
and daughters, and that when you're ministry is what he's
gonna say, Well done, my good and faithful servant. But
he's not gonna say, yeah, you made that much money,
you did this many things. It's gonna be how have
(21:21):
you served me? What have you done with my time?
Have you served me with my time? Gifts, talents that
I've given you? How have you furthered the kingdom? Intention
and purposes of God? That's what he's asking for. So
the thing is is that in order to know how
you fit into that, you gotta know your identity. And
in order to know your identities, you got to go
(21:41):
to the manufacturer how do I work. You're not going
into Apple with the Samsung Android phone and going how
does this thing work? They're gonna go down the Samsung
and Android. Right, you have to go and you got
to get to the point where there is a love
for God the same way that you you're excited about
packing up going on a vacation. The same way the
(22:04):
person in your life that you love, whether it's been
a spouse or your kids or whatever it is, have
that same desire that you wanted to be there and
meet them and see a smile on their face. That's
exactly what we need to be doing with Jesus, because
he meets us and he has conversation with this He's
talking all the time. We just don't listen. Our lives
are too loud, right, and we are going to everybody else,
(22:29):
even AI today to solve a problem that only God has.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
The true answer To've been an absolute, just powerhouse of
wisdom and humility and vulnerability.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
And there's still so many things I want to ask you,
so I have to have you back. So many stories
you've told me, tidbits that we have to go back to.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Today.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
We'll concentrate on one story at a time, Oh God,
the one about your dad, him being kind of the
mathematician strategist who taught you how taught you numbers and
we can talk about how what he was doing at
the time later, but it's fascinating.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
You know, Journey, you have so many I don't think
I know anybody like you. I am just so blessed
to sit in your story today.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Thank you, Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Thank
you for having me on. And Martin. Oh, honestly, is
that just like your The name of your podcast, Soul Talks,
is that people have an opportunity that their soul is renewed, refreshed,
and they're excited for what God has for them, even
in the mist. They have hope, even in the midst
(23:39):
of not seeing exactly where they're supposed to be or
what they would prefer to experience, that they just don't
give up hope that God has a plan and he's intentional.
Even through the things that we've been hurt by, he
will use for your good and his glory. Amen. Amen
and Amen.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Thank you again.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Terry, thank you.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I'll love to you.
So you know, Terry listening, do you talk? There's so
many questions that I want to ask, But I would
think people listening to you would say, how does she
do it all?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
And you spoke to it a minute ago?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
And I want to go, how did you keep this
huge business you have going? What happened with you and
Lee with this autistic kid? Did it tear you apart
at first and then you pulled it back together? What
happened with your family? You know, there was this huge
world swirling around you when Jaden landed?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
How have you done it all? You know what I
would love to say, It's just about my prayer life.
And I know the word doesn't that sound good? Good?
The word two things? I didn't do it all. I
still haven't done it all. It is, honestly, and I
(01:05):
don't want to overspiritualize this. I can't even begin to
explain I don't do it all. I am probably the
absolute hardest on myself. I have a level of perfectionism
that's terrible. Sometimes I have to learn, like many how
to prioritize and put things in its rightful place and position.
(01:28):
That is something that something I picked up along my
road of adversity. Just like fruit. Fruit's good for you,
but too much fruit cause you to gain weight because
it's still natural sigar. Right, like even good things, too
many good things during the wrong time can cause an issue, right,
And so I am still learning how to do it.
(01:50):
The other thing is God and all of his graciousness
gives me an opportunity to share these things that actually
reinvigorate me, strengthened me, remind me of what He's brought
me through because I don't have to deal with that
Jaden anymore between the you know, his younger days. But
the thing about it is is that in addition to that,
(02:11):
He's placed tribe around me. I think that's why it's
so important, you know, to understand who your friends are
and who people are that are around you, because oftentimes
you're gonna need people to hold your hand and lift
you up. You know, you're you're gonna have those moments
where you're gonna question who am I, what am I doing?
How did I even get here? Especially life is still
(02:32):
swirling and at that time in my life, I lived
a very public life. I think at that time there
was always something being written about me, even if it
was local you know, may not have been on ET
news all the time, but if you're local and you're
in every major paper or the news is reporting on you, you
know what I mean, You're like you know, And I
never want to live a life that's not authentic.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I don't. I don't.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I have, unfortunately, and fortunately walk with some people in
some very public spaces entertainment spaces. Heck, my husband, you
know what I mean. Like you, it is a very
hard place to be when all the world has a
position and opinion about you and know nothing except for
some sixty second clip, right. And so the thing about
(03:18):
it is is that during that time of my life,
I needed to look like I held it all together.
And I wasn't trying to look like I held it
all together. I was gonna be me wherever I showed up.
And when you are juggling business, keep in mind, Jaden
is one of three kids. Okay, so I have two
(03:38):
girls that are just going through girl stuff and life
things and whatever, and you're trying to be a mom
and you're trying to manage I had already had a divorce,
like all those things. I have my husband, who's amazing,
and there are things that he's doing. I will tell
you the good thing with my husband and Jaden, I
didn't struggle through that. He has been the absolute most
(03:59):
amazing father that anybody could have prayed for. He has
had the patience, he has cried with me. He has
sat beside me through the hard things and every wakened moment.
You can't tell him anything in reference to his son
and how his son needs to operate the level of
love that he's shown. It's also ministered so without words,
(04:20):
his actions. His ability to contribute to Jaden's life the
way that he has has been the thing, you know.
And so I will say that it didn't tear us apart.
For sure. He also gave me the room in the
space because he saw calling on my life at times
that I didn't see. There were times still I was
questioning the Lord and everybody's. Your pulpit is not always
(04:46):
going to be at your local church on a Sunday.
You know, your pulpit might be this podcast. Your pulpit
might be social media if you use it for the
right things. Your pulpit might be that business that you've started.
I'm in marketplace ministry. I come across women all day
long and there's a vulnerable space in place sometimes that
I'm with women that they share they're open, you know.
(05:07):
I had my CFO one time, tell me have I've been,
you know, and I'm free to share this. The person
was working for me at that particular time had been
sexually violated at sixteen, and we were talking about numbers,
and somehow or another, this conversation ends up into a
particular place. So whatever the hurt and the pain is
or where God's positioned us, right, he positions us in
(05:31):
a place to be image bearers of him. And what
was hard for me was that to keep a good
balance if you you know, I if you think about
balance as a business woman, it means everything's equal. Everything's
never going to be equal. I'm not going to give
my husband one hundred percent, my kids one hundred percent,
my business one hundred percent, my friends one hundred percent.
And because again this is coming from where I grew up,
(05:55):
I was trying to keep everything you know, juggle and
right and on time, and you know, and perfectionism. You
add all of these things. It was a complete surrender
and I had to learn in my life where to
say no. That noe was a complete sentence that there's
no guilt and shame because right now I need to
spend this time with my kids. That doesn't let make
me less of a business woman. If right now I
(06:17):
need to spend this much time on my business, it
doesn't make me less of a mom, right, doesn't make
me less of a wife. We have been conditioned through
culture and compromising right that, Oh my gosh, we got
to keep all these things going. And because I typically
own things in male dominated spaces. Sorry, guys, if you're
listening to this, they're not that compassionate. They're not like
(06:38):
you know, They're not like, oh, you know she's going through.
If anything, I was taught, especially coming up in my
day and before I was for roof, for real entrepreneur.
I started out in corporate America.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
But you're used to hiding.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
And guess where I learned hiding from as a kid
Because I did not want people to know what was
happening in my life. I didn't want to be taken
away from my parents. I didn't want to be embarrassed.
I learned hiding, so when I got into the world,
I had to hide, right because I would look less strong,
less capable.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
All of the things, so you can see.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
How early on in your life, the very good things
that God might mean for good, the enemy's going to
try to use them for evil. But the very things
that God the enemy means for evil, God's going to
use it for good. And when I got into that
space and I finally I was hiding as an entrepreneur.
Quite honestly, in the very beginning. It's not that I
was trying to make people believe that things were perfect,
(07:32):
but I didn't want anybody to know where things were wrong.
I didn't want to say that it all couldn't be done.
I didn't want people to know that. You know, this
is a lot to manage. Two girls going through you know,
one's teenager, one's middle school. A kid, a brother who's
on the spectrum, who can't speak, who all my time
and attention has to be on him because of all
of his needs.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
You know.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Oh, I got to balance a business. I got to
show up, I got to look great in the conference room.
I got to be well put together. Oh they're writing
about you and all the wonderful things you do, but
they don't know all what you've sacrificed to make sure
that these things are happening. So they're just showing all
the outcome of obedience, but none of the journey in
the process through right, the suffering, the things you got
(08:13):
to endure, the sacrifices that come, the l darkness, the darkness, girl,
all of the things. And then at the same time,
you know, this is my second marriage. I wanted to
work all of the things and all of the stuff
that comes to get to know because it wasn't like
we grew up together, so this was a different thing.
You got two type A personalities, both strong in their
(08:34):
own ways. Right, he's an athlete. I already told you
I was competitive from the day of the Barbie story. Right,
So you have all of this stuff that's.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Swirling, right, girl, who you know.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Can manage a tornado?
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Maybe you?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
But me? No, not even me, but God.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
So the thing is.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I had to learn submission and surrender and that was
hard for me aside in those years like did you
put business on the back burner for a while? I
had to sacrifice, Oh for sure. You know. The thing
about it is, I've been told in this season that
(09:14):
I should have always been a designer and an architect.
I love homes. I've been visiting homes. I would sneak into.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Your homes with extraordinary beyond.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
And it's changed even since that homeward the video. But
the thing is is that thank you so much for that.
I have loved that since I was a kid, but
I didn't even know it was a possibility. I always
took on things that I felt like I could make
money really quickly and provide.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I've been doing that even before kids, right. And so
the thing is is that I have felt at times
that the things I most desired I placed on the
back burner. I didn't realize how. And and then even
once life got a little bit easier and I could
do a little bit different and a little bit more,
you know, what was a bit of a challenge for
me is I didn't see the significance. I'm like, how
(10:05):
am I getting people at Heaven by designer furniture helping
them with their space? And the Lord sent me through
understanding how he took time to build the arc, you know,
And that's a whole nother story for a different day,
but I'll tell you this. The thing is is that
you don't do it all. And whoever's telling you they are,
(10:29):
they're not from here.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I agree with you, you know, only I'm not from here, Theresa.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Today I'm still not doing it all right, like today
and when I was looking at my list, I mean,
just think about all of this year has been quite
busy for me. Even when our conversation came, it was busy.
But I literally had a mayor's dinner at my house.
I went from that to a baby shower days later,
from that to a graduation, from that to an unexpected death,
(10:55):
from that to people who are busying, to that to
a daughter who's having a baby. Like it's been NonStop,
and at the same time, business is still moving right.
I still have obligations as a partner in an innovation project.
I still have obligations to my children and to fulfill
the needs. But God teaches us priority. And if I'm
being honest, I don't know if I've always followed.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I can see I can see design.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
You know, he has said, He's told us it's him first,
our spouse, our kids, right, our family, and then our business.
And if we keep this order, it's like he guarantees
us that nothing will be missing, lacking and broken. And girl,
you're a businesswoman, you know this.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
And I know how many times I have not been
you know, like you, I've reached a point where, oh,
I was all in my ego.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
I was getting a lot of attention, and I.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Wasn't spiritually aligned, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
And I can look back on that period of time
of running two businesses and traveling all the time. Do
I wish I could dial back and take some of
those weekends back with my husband, you know? Do I
wish maybe I hadn't turned over so much of the
kids to him at a certain time in my life
because I was running in business so hard. So I
totally get it me. I only have five minutes left
(12:18):
with you, and you have said probably at least one
hundred really profound things. But could you encapsulate for our
viewers with all of your experience and all you've been through, Like,
just give them one thing that you would say, concentrate
on this today in your life to help you move
(12:39):
forward to be more spiritually aligned. Can you give us
one of your keys.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
When you think about why you were created? So a
lot of us spend time looking for purpose. Our real
purpose is just to point people back to heaven, and
God uses different instruments to do that. Orchestra. Right, there's
a saxophone that plays certain keys. The clarinet and the
piano and the violin and the trouble and all the
different things. There are all these different instruments in a
(13:10):
sense that God uses to create a sound. And what
I will tell you is is that many of us
get stuck because we don't feel like we understand our purpose.
Our real purposes is to just be in relationship with God.
We want control, we want to determine our own outcomes,
(13:32):
and there is a lot of submission in surrendering to
be able to be free and live in the moment.
That's very difficult. And I feel like people feel like
people who quote unquote have it like, oh, your bills
are paid, and you know, they think that you're in
some level of financial comfortability. So they feel like you
can say that, but I think that's far from the truth.
(13:52):
I think it's actually harder, because I've been on both sides.
It's a lot easier to make money, it's hard to
maintain it, you know what I mean. It's a whole
different thing in reference to that. And so what I
would say, we are so busy trying to chase our purpose.
(14:13):
We really need to know our identity and have our
relationship with Christ. All of those things will be and
we're we're discovering. We're not creating our purpose, right, We're
just discovering who God has already said that we are.
And so when I think about these particular things, I
would say for anybody who's out there, stop chasing, Stop
(14:36):
stop trying to figure it all out. I mean, I'm
in business, Theresa's in business. I'm sure there's going to
be a lot of people in business that are listening.
We are wired to forecast, create extra strategies, plans. You know,
what are we going to do in this? Are we
keeping it? Are we selling it? How are we building it?
Who's there?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Like?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
We're wired for that. But you've got to understand that
the things of God require us to be able to pivot,
to be flexible, and it may not look like what
we anticipate. It's almost like writing business down. You know,
it kills me when these banks tell you gotta have
a business plan. I'm like, a business plan needs to
be living an actor because this is never what you
write on paper. All I mean exactly constantly changes, right,
(15:19):
And so you have to think through the days that
are in front of you. Just today, there's that scripture
that I absolutely love where the Bible talks about do
the birds of the ear worry about what they should
eat or drink? No, And day by day he feeds
the birds. Neither shall we. God is constantly worried about
as being in the moment. We spend ninety percent of
(15:41):
our time preoccupied about the future. That's a real fact.
Go google it. We spend ninety percent majority of everything
we're doing. It's forecasting. So even if you're not in business,
you're always what's gonna happen with my games when they
get older, what's gonna happen in my marriage? When do
we downside?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
What?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
It's always something, and it's always We're never in the moment.
And if I could say anything, I wish I lived
in my moments a little bit more than what I
did in the past. I would have appreciated them. I
would have understood that there was a lesson in them.
I probably would have gotten a lesson sooner, right because
I was just trying to get past the pain. I
(16:20):
was just trying to get past the situation. I was
just trying to get past the circuman. I wanted to.
I wanted to get to the finish line. But there
is beauty in the process. And that process is in
a sense, it is you know, that whole dash in
between our name. There's beauty in that process. You know
that birth and that death date, that dash. There's beauty
(16:42):
in that process, and we don't see it. We don't
see it because we don't recognize that we have a
God that wants his children back. It reminds me of
a conversation I was having with my husband. He said,
you know what's so interesting to me. People want to
go to heaven, but they don't want to know the
(17:03):
person that they're going to heaven with that they're going
to be spending eternity with. He said, think about it.
If someone were to knock on our door, He said,
we're probably not the best example of this, because we
do open our door for a lot of people, even
if we don't know him well. But the thing is
is that think about it. If someone were to knock
on your door right now, right and said, hey, my
(17:23):
name is Jim or my name is Pam, you know,
and can I come and stay with you?
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Right?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
You would look at Jim or Pam like they're crazy.
Or maybe you heard of Jim and Pam through a friend,
right of a friend, but you don't know Jim and
Pam like that.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Would you really let Jim and Pam into your house
where you're sleeping and your most vulnerable hour. Oh no,
you probably wouldn't. So it's kind of like the same thing.
It's like we all want to go to heaven, but
we don't even want to know who we're residing with.
We don't want to spend the next necessary time that
it takes to put God first because we have put
(18:04):
everything else before God. We've put our money, We've put
our children, we've put our marriages, we've put our agendas,
we put all the desires of our heart. If I
could say one thing, know your identity in Christ. In
order to know your identity in Christ, you have to
go to the creator.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Right. You're not going to call Samsung to fix an
Apple problem. Right, You're going to go to the creator
or the manufacturer of that thing. Right. We got to
go to the manufacturer and creator of our life to
understand how we work and why we're designed the way
we are. What does that require? Prayer, spending quiet time
(18:45):
with the Lord, right when you're in relationship with somebody.
Were women. Think about the times that we were in
love and we couldn't wait for that phone call to
ring right. We were so excited we talk long on
the phone, didn't even know how long we've been on
the couldn't wait for the moment of the date and
the time because we desired to be with this person.
(19:07):
We could see our life with this person. We need
to get to that point with our relationship with the
Lord Jesus Christ. We need to get to that point.
We need to desire him. I don't always feel that way.
It's sometimes a sacrifice. Sometimes I'm sleep reading the Bible,
you know, falling asleep. I'm like, now, if I were
watching or doing something to my ese, be wide away.
(19:27):
If I'm shopping online, I'm not falling asleep in the
middle of an Amazon order or a Luis Baton order.
You know what I mean? How am I falling asleep
in the middle of the Bible? But it happens. So
the thing is, it is a long way to encapsulate it,
but it is your identity in Christ. How do you
get to that by getting to know the creator who've
(19:48):
created you? You don't got to figure out your identity.
He knows what it is. You're just going to the
manufacturer to see how you work. You're going to fulfill
your purposes through him, through conversation with him. Prayer is
just that. There's gonna be times you're on your knees.
There's gonna be times you're driving and talking to the
Lord out loud. There's gonna be times you're going for
a walk. There's gonna be times you're getting on a plane.
(20:08):
Wherever you're speaking to him right, speak to him, stay
in communication with him. If you got to ask God,
even if you should be ordering Dawn off of Amazon,
get that intimate with God where everything in a sense matters.
Don't think you got to just bring him the big
things or you gotta wait till something could catastrophic has happened.
Ask for the moment. Even my prayer this morning, before
(20:30):
my feet hit the side of my bed, is Holy
Spirit direct my path? What is it that you want
me today to do? Today? God? How can I put
a smile on your face today? What can I do
to serve your kingdom today?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Right?
Speaker 2 (20:40):
And so when you do those things, all other things
fall in order. I could give you a business list.
I got the one two threes of building a business
and building business credit and how to invest in creating
cap tables and all this and all that and all
this and all that. But none of that's gonna get
you in heaven. None of that is God gonna stand
(21:01):
before you unless you're using Unless that's the vehicle he's
given you to use still to minister to his sons
and daughters, and that when you're ministry is what he's
gonna say, Well done, my good and faithful servant. But
he's not gonna say, yeah, you made that much money,
you did this many things. It's gonna be how have
(21:21):
you served me? What have you done with my time?
Have you served me with my time? Gifts, talents that
I've given you? How have you furthered the kingdom? Intention
and purposes of God? That's what he's asking for. So
the thing is is that in order to know how
you fit into that, you gotta know your identity. And
in order to know your identities, you got to go
(21:41):
to the manufacturer how do I work. You're not going
into Apple with the Samsung Android phone and going how
does this thing work? They're gonna go down the Samsung
and Android. Right, you have to go and you got
to get to the point where there is a love
for God the same way that you you're excited about
packing up going on a vacation. The same way the
(22:04):
person in your life that you love, whether it's been
a spouse or your kids or whatever it is, have
that same desire that you wanted to be there and
meet them and see a smile on their face. That's
exactly what we need to be doing with Jesus, because
he meets us and he has conversation with this He's
talking all the time. We just don't listen. Our lives
are too loud, right, and we are going to everybody else,
(22:29):
even AI today to solve a problem that only God has.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
The true answer To've been an absolute, just powerhouse of
wisdom and humility and vulnerability.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
And there's still so many things I want to ask you,
so I have to have you back. So many stories
you've told me, tidbits that we have to go back to.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Today.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
We'll concentrate on one story at a time, Oh God,
the one about your dad, him being kind of the
mathematician strategist who taught you how taught you numbers and
we can talk about how what he was doing at
the time later, but it's fascinating.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
You know, Journey, you have so many I don't think
I know anybody like you. I am just so blessed
to sit in your story today.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Thank you, Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Thank
you for having me on. And Martin. Oh, honestly, is
that just like your The name of your podcast, Soul Talks,
is that people have an opportunity that their soul is renewed, refreshed,
and they're excited for what God has for them, even
in the mist. They have hope, even in the midst
(23:39):
of not seeing exactly where they're supposed to be or
what they would prefer to experience, that they just don't
give up hope that God has a plan and he's intentional.
Even through the things that we've been hurt by, he
will use for your good and his glory. Amen. Amen
and Amen.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Thank you again.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Terry, thank you.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I'll love to you.
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