August 20, 2025 • 27 mins
In this episode of Soul Talks, Ruth shares her journey of faith, family, and the unexpected calling that led her to write a book she once swore she’d never write. From flipping houses and raising kids to being challenged by her uncle to seek “a vision beyond your resources,” Ruth opens up about the struggles of imposter syndrome, divine appointments that shaped her path, and how she discovered her true purpose. She reflects on the DNA of home — creating rhythms that slow life down, building intentional family culture, and finding meaning in the places where nothing is wasted. Through her vulnerable stories, Ruth reminds us that faith, love, and legacy are the true foundations of home. ✨ If you’ve ever wondered whether your story has purpose, this conversation is for you. 🛎️ Subscribe for more soulful conversations. Connect with us: The Soul Talks website: https://www.soultalkswiththeresa.com/ Get your copy of "He's Not Coming Back": https://bit.ly/40qGX6Y Connect with our guest: Hungry for Home website: https://www.hungry4home.com/ At Home with Ruth McKeaney: http://bit.ly/45mBNe6 Follow Ruth: @hungryforhome on Instagram and TikTok
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
We go to this house. Do you ever see the
Philadelphia story? Yeah? Okay, So the Montgomery Scott estate, which
is what that movie's about, It was on this estate
and they had these it's called Banjo Town. They had
these sixteen little houses on the road that helped lived in.
And she took us to one of those houses and
she said, this can afore he was sliding off its foundations.
(00:33):
I walked in. It had one little bathroom and literally
you couldn't There were no furniture on the second floor
because it had one little mark. It had this little
Martha Washington staircase. What that is is it turns so
tightly you can't pit furniture. So we had to put
on a two story edition to get a bedding. So
(00:54):
Bob happened to have been in this men's group and
one of the guys was going through divorce and he
was a tractor and he said, let me teach you.
So he would come at night and help up, show
him how to use the miner sauce, show him how
to use and.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
My mom came, I didn't know anything about nothing that
would become his life.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Yes, we literally when I tell you the number, excuse me,
of mistakes we made. My mom showed me how to
hang the mole paper, and my dad would come up
and help me read you the floors. So we couldn't
hire anybody. We flipped that house. Eighteen months later, that
Saint Real letter came to us and said, I can
(01:33):
double your mother. So we began to flip every eighteen
months and me and in every eighteen months. We were
having a baby. So I know anxiety. I'm anxiety. Yeah,
(01:53):
I mean I remember a friend who I met came
over to my house and she brought her little girls
and her little girl goes mom and pulls on her
arm because my dollhouse is bigger than this. It's like,
that's we heard. I'm aware and uh, so for sixteen
years this and then we end up. You know, my
mom had died and I wanted a home that would
(02:14):
have a guest house for my dad. And we found
this house. It's three hundred and seven years old. Wayam
Penny did it? I said, three hundred and seven years old.
Your most beautiful grounds I've ever seen. And it has
two guest houses. And so it's like the Lord was like,
you know what, and uh and we built a barn
so that we can do so much entertaining. And so
(02:35):
it's just been.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I love that, Barn, I want to have a party,
and I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
So it's so fun. And this story, you know, with
my uncle visiting, and that's when that all everything kicks off.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Well tell the story because I'm still not where I
want to be. Okay, Well we'll and go back with home,
but tell the story of the uncle because we might
be getting there. So, as I think I said at
the beginning, my oldest was leaving for college and I
began to feel that shift of who am I going
to become? And during that time, one of my uncles
was visiting, and he visited us pretty regularly. He was
(03:09):
in my living room and I was in the kitchen
and I hear this Ruthie. Ruthie, come join me in
the living room and I go sit down, and he said,
may I ask you a very very private question, he says,
your uncle Hebert. He said, what are you one hundred
percent depending on the Lord for right now? And I said,
besides raising these kids? Yes, I said nothing.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
He said, I know. He said, you and Bob have
gotten so good at what you do. The well little
to no room to watch God work him get the
boring night game. So can I Can I challenge you
with something nice? Yes, he said, ask the Lord to
give you your vision, beyond your resources, beyond your financial needs,
your personal capital, and your education, so that you can
(03:53):
see him work. And he gets the boy minic.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
So beyond what you have, what you know and mean.
So I started to pray that pretty boldly. That is
something that the last sixteen years had done was given
me a pretty strong prayer life and an understanding that.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
But God right, So I remember my aunt and this
is the whole side. But she had this.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
She had peaked this mural, this big canvas completely.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Black, the entire thing in the bottom corner in white.
It was got dot dot. But God, so I truly
understood what that meant. So I began to pray visionly
on my resources and uh. Shortly thereafter, I went to
a conference in Connecticut, a women doing Law conference, and
(04:51):
I had already hosted a woman doing a Well event
in Philadelphia, but I went up again. And I know
you're aware, but women doing Well has to do it
helping women come to the place of understanding their purpose,
their plan, and what they're passionate about. So I'm sitting
here with you know, rock stars, That's all I'm gonna
tell you. You know, Janis, I mean women that were
(05:14):
they had already made their mark, Ali Lloyd Jones, you know.
And I'm sitting at this table and that's daunting, oh beyond.
I'm a housewife from the main line, and I mean,
that's how you see yourself. It doesn't matter that you know,
you've had the history you've had, this is who you are.
(05:34):
And there was a three women were on a panel.
They were all in the space, sweet space, and they
were talking about leading their different industries, going into ministry
and one instead. You know how, I'm really struggling. I
know how to do a spreadsheet in my sleep, but
I don't even know how to make a chacoud before.
(05:55):
And I'm in my car with my dearest friend driving home,
and I'm just in tears and I said, you know, Heather,
I don't I don't know my purpose anymore. The only
thing I'm passionate about is what the Lord would be
willing to do in and through my home and my family.
What would he ever do with that? And I definitely
don't know God's plan for me, and she started laughing
(06:16):
and she like jabbed my arm and she said, well,
at least you know how to make her security cord.
But look at the book and you open it up
the very first Yeah, it's the security record. So I continue,
I'm praying that for her.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
I mean, it's nunning. But every single thing.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
You know, when I first watched your show and you
had sent me your book, and I mean, I was
blown away, and I was like, surely this is all stage,
Like surely the people come in and I mean there's
dish after dish after dish and cookies and biscuits and oh,
what's it?
Speaker 1 (06:47):
No baby, And I'm like, she cooks all this, Like
I door dash, you cook. I just interviewed a woman
on the show down Charlotte and Nielsen, who's just a
love all that. I saw that he had probably four
people staging everything around us, like if I got up,
they fluff my pillow if I did. And I was like,
(07:09):
where are these people when I can't think every week?
Because I would sure be much more productive if it
wasn't just not ourselves.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I mean, woman, you cook, I do it for God,
say Heathery're saying, at least you can do a shirt, so.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I could invite it shortly and thereafter. But my dear
friend Wendy Rogers, who you're going to meet, okay, wait,
speaks a lot around the country. But she was speaking
at a woman of Legacy conference at Museum of the Bible,
and she called me and said, hey, what are you doing?
You know it comes stay with me at the Trumpe
Hotel at the time. She's like, you know, I said,
(07:46):
I mean, I have no business being at that conference,
and she's like, just come crash with me. So I
take a couple of days, I go down dirt. I
walk in. Okay, can I just tell you, first of all,
have you ever been to AVERTI is it the wall
door for them? It's the wall door. I walk in
in rip jeans that I've had and I'm still wear
since I was eighteen.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
And I'm like, I'm sorry, rich, you're bragging now, but.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I'm just saying I didn't and it and I walk
into this thing and everybody, you know, all our friends danced,
everybody's there and I sit down at the only available
seat next to this woman who's just beautiful and regal,
and you know, I'm like, what am I doing, and
she and I start to have a conversation and she
(08:32):
starts to cry, and she says, you're my divine appointment.
And I said for what? And she said, I told
the Lord on the way here I wanted to meet.
He had to have someone for me. So and we
both were passionate. You know. She was with the family business.
I was at the family business, very very different levels
of family business. Gets up and goes to get a
(08:55):
drink and someone says, do you know who that is?
I said no, and they told me in I didn't
know them. But she came back and we just had
a wonderful time of connection and talking about how God
our passion for restoring the ruins of property as well
as the ruins and that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
The ruins of home.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Which is in my book, the very first page, is
a whole thing, and it talks about the rot. It's
kind of clean story that you're home. So we leave
about a month later, and again this whole time, I'm praying,
did you beyond your resources? And I host a wedding
at my house a few hundred people, and I get
(09:42):
chronic coigraines and I'm laying on my kitchen floor. It's
this Sunday afternoon, the wedding, even Saturday. My husband's a
massaging my head and my phone starts to beat and
I said, who is it? Yeah, I see what is
Does she need something? Because it kept trying to reach me.
He said, lots of in London a mon hosting an
(10:05):
event and I said tell her no, and he said,
you're not even pray about so he proceeds to pray
and her next text was I'm bringing you out here.
So I go two days later, missed her huge event,
but Sally White Jones says there as well. And at
(10:25):
the end of that week, Sarah says, I'd like to
take you both to my favorite lunch, which is in
the costume. So we go to this place in the
cotswalls and while we're having lunch again, I think it's
the way you're looking at me like you have lost
your mind? What this is so much anxiety like all
that that has he's watching me? Okay, So she says, Ruth,
(10:48):
if you're moving every eighteen months, why do you mout
on packed because you're going to keep moving. And I said,
you know, everyone's hungry for home. They both at when
can I tell you Teresa. At the same time, they
pick up their computers. We're at this luncheon table. They
look at each other. One says it hasn't been taken
(11:09):
and I said, what hasn't And they said the name?
I said for what is then you're supposed to write?
I said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no no. I
will never write ever. I can't think of anything i'd
less like to do or that I am. I'm not
equipped to I wouldn't even know where to I'm never
going to write. And it had just come up in
a family kind of reunion event that I had been
(11:31):
had where they were all talking about the next books
they wanted to do. And I started laughing and said,
I will never do a book. So this is on
the backshop with that. So for the rest of the trip,
they're giving me a hard time, saying you need to
write a book. I said, I don't have anything to say.
I get home. One of my sisters lives in one
of our guest colleges and she was walking over and
(11:54):
she says, how's your trip, And I said, you're going
to laugh. They think I need to write a book.
And she starts to cry and she said, you're supposed
to do this. I said, I will never read mark
my words right. She said, I have a friend who's
an author where you'd be willing to talk and I
said sure, but I'm not doing these So she said
just tell her who you are and your story. So
(12:17):
I get on the phone with this a woman named Jess,
and we have a long conversation and she said, I
think you're supposed to write this book. I said, I'm
not doing She's a mad com busy. She flies out
the next week.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
This is so crazy making all these things up, and
you're you're the one going, I don't want this.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
I don't want this.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
It like it's worse. I'm worse, or we're more miraculous
or more better. I don't know's miraculous. So she comes
and visits. The night before she leaves, she says to me,
she's interviewing my family the whole time. And I had
said to her, listen, I am willing to like write
a little bit of story and write all my recipes
because my kids always want my recipes, which is really cool,
(13:01):
chat for all for Christmas, for everybody. She said no.
The night before she's leaving, she says, this is bigger
than you. I'd like to help you collaborate and I
suggest I'm not doing that. So the last day that
he's literally leaving on a Sunday, she's flying out Sunday afternoon.
See or a Saturday, she and my sister walking. I'm
sitting on that same house I had been sitting with
(13:22):
Uncle Hubert. She walks in and she has two wrecked
presents and she hands me the first one and I
open it up and it's a tea pot. And she says, Ruth,
for every time you're asking the Lord for that vision,
be under resours because I want you to have a
cup of tea. And I burst out laughing and it
had become a joke and I said, Jess, I don't
drink tea, and I'm not writing the book, and you
(13:43):
know in hindsight, and I just want to throw this
in there. That teapot was a from a place called Terrain.
Are you familiar with Terrain? Anthropology owns Strain and they're
a huge it's they're probably my favorite home outdoor store.
They became my first partners too, and Michael, I know.
So she hands me the second gift and it's wrapped
(14:07):
and she said, before you open it, she said, your
sister and I went to home stores, gardening stores, bookstores.
I wanted to find a book that I wanted to
find something that would look like what I thought you
would produce if you ever did a book. And I
was like, this is really interesting. I open it up.
(14:27):
I'm like, yess, where is this place? But I don't know.
We flip it to that it's the farm and the cospwalls.
Sarah had taken it.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
Okay, I got chill me.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
The chances of that, Teresa are zero zero. I had
never told anyone it was Dale's Surtfarm. I didn't know
dale Sur Farm even get a book. I hadn't told
my sister where I'd it, because I mean, how irrelevant.
He doesn't know anything about the Coswolds.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
But Ruth also, what's woven into this, Well, it's a
new community of women for you, and they're women who
are immediately support it. And for that person and your
sister to go to all these places and to find
there's so much love in this story. Oh oh, I
mean it only And you know it's like, as women,
(15:15):
so often we don't support one another in success in
leadership in business, and you've got these women going, you're
the one one that I don't want to believe.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I didn't believe in myself, and it was, you know,
it's one of those things where I literally so as
soon as this happens Theresa, I fall on my knees
in the living room and I'm just crying and I said, God,
I'll do it. But I said, I don't know how
to do it. I don't know what to say, and
I don't even know that I have the means to
do it. I mean, all three things that what had
(15:48):
I've been praying about. And she says to me, Okay,
I'm going to put on your phone and ask every
Monday night for six months. I'm gonna send you questions.
You're going to speak into your phone, it's going to
transcribe onto my computer, and you and I are going
to work on that. We do this for six months.
Our friend then comes over and takes thirty three thousand photos,
(16:10):
holds it down, calls it all down to like a thousand,
or maybe it was like six hundred, and then my
sister and I in my living room for three spray days,
cut and pasted this three hundred page manuscript with pictures,
and the photographs are so I thought, picture is so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
No, No, if they're there beyond, it transports you immediately,
you know the cover you open it.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
I mean I wanted to be there.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I think I got that book when you sent it
to me, like on a Sunday, and I sat down
in my bedroom exactly where I talked to you, and
I just couldn't stop. You know, I just looked like
this is otherworldly. But I say to people, I can
also tell when they haven't read it and they've just
seen the posters, and I'm like, no, no, I really
have something I want to say. So my and I
(17:00):
were sitting on the we have two chairs in our
we have a fireplace in our kitchen, and we're sitting
in front of the fireplaces. Labor name weekend.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I have this stack three hundred pages and I'm sitting
in front of me and Wendy the same friend, calls
me and she says, all right, he was gonna he
was gonna publish this. And I was like, I have
no idea. She said, all right, I know the person
who helped record and write Purpose Driven Life. Let's get
you on a poll. So she immediately puts us on
this zimcom. I'm on this call with this gentleman. And
(17:30):
he says to me, all right, I can tell just
by looking at you you're not a household name. I said, no, sir,
and he said, what's your what's your social media? Like,
I don't have any needs. Now a look your trouble
and he said that the industry has shrunk so much
because it's self publishing. And unless you can prove you
have a marketing engine underneath you every time you they're
(17:50):
not going to take you right now. You need to
self published. So this is like an hour conversation, but
this is where it ends up. So we hang up.
I'm sitting there with my husband and I said, well,
well I'm all done. I said, guess what. We have
a fantastic get to give our kids for Christmas. I
need you to put three hole punch it and we're
going to give these this presents. And he said, you're
(18:12):
not self publishing this. I said, not a champ. And
I said I wouldn't even know where to begin, and
I'm not doing that. He said, well again, you haven't prayed.
So we're sitting there, and he prays, what.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Calls you out at all the pivotal Oh.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
I love it too. And it's so funny because I'd
be the first to call somebody else on it. But
that's how much fear is behind this. And he prays.
And as soon as we've finished praying, he says, Ruth,
I think my new paddle partner from South Africa just
bought a printing company. Let me call him. Calls Michael Michael.
He says, do you do books? Michael's like, I have
(18:47):
no idea. I'll call you right. Yeah, that's real quick,
like he had just He calls Bob back. He goes,
we do He said, I'm going to have it done. No,
this is November. I mean this September, He said, I
will have it done in six weeks. I'll do it
for cost. If you could track roots in my boardroom
on Monday. I will have the heads of every department
(19:09):
there to walk her through this process. My gosh, When
I tell you, who gets this? When I tell you
there is nothing start to finish, even the shows that
I was offered then I said no to I can't
tell you from start to finish.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
There's nothing I can take credit for in fact, I
mean this is just like this is it's in.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Spite of me. Yeah, everything I had prayed for, Right,
He's like, I'm not only going to not let you
take credit for most of it, I'm not gonna let
you take credit for any because I get I'm gonna
take you someplace you fought, man. And so it has
been and just what's continued. I can't even tell you
(19:59):
the conversationations that I've been able to have that I
have no business. Yeah, the people who have stepped in
two stand in the gap and to leverage their own
you know, their own name to put me in places
(20:21):
that I have no business being. I mean my first thing,
I mean, think about it. It's coming out. It came
out November one. I'm sitting and I think it was
even lightly snowing in front of the Farmer's Market with
up with my stackup books going anyone want to book?
I had no ideas so much.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
So I just want to kind of tag back to
a few really vulnerable things that you've said. I'm trying
to wrap us up just a little bit for today
because we're gonna save.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
We're gonna save that. You got this genormous television short
baron audience, just stay tuned.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Oh how many years has it been since you wrote
the book?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I think four?
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Four?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
You know, I kind of hear I hear this theme
a little bit in your story of how you felt
with your mom, you know, and how you felt in
the beginnings what Uncle Hubert called you to. You prayed,
and these women who began to grow something inside of you.
But it's your it's your concept, it's your belief in home.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Let's see, it's.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yeah, but you didn't even know it. And then you
didn't feel like you were good enough to write it.
You didn't feel like you were good enough to sit
at the table with these women who were encouraging that
I had something to say. You did, and good enough
may not be the right words, but you didn't feel like.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
You had this. Do you now, four or five years later?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
It is then, and this is where I can get heary.
It has been four years at the imposter syndrome. It
is a strange place, you know. I remember asking Bob once, like,
was all those years of courtroom experience waste? It was
(22:19):
all the you know, all the things that we put out.
I mean, obviously we flipped homes, the Lord. He gave
us huge opportunities. But for me, and you know, I
was I just shared this story or was it a
wedding over the weekend and one of my former law
professors was there and he had seen something of me
(22:42):
out there, and I said, do you remember I was
first year law student. I mean constitutional law, the deans
teaching constitutional law, and what they do in law school
is it's called the Sotocratic method. You have to stand
up for that two hours of class and you are
asked questions for two straight hours. Nobody else like it
is just you. And because the dean knew me because
(23:05):
my dad was a law professor, he called on me
very early on in the air and I remember standing
up and I passed out immediately. I woke up in
another room, had my feet up, and at graduation a
couple of the professors he ended me the helmet and said,
for the oh that's your bio a trial lawyer. It's
(23:28):
fascinating because what did I become And I would never
be able to stand in front of the groups that
I stand in front of, or even the camera that
I do, and think as quickly on my feet then
for that training. So it's been so sweet for me.
So that is been a sweet thing to see. Nothing
(23:52):
was wasted, not your answers and not things he grew
in me that I didn't think i'd ever see you get.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
I just want to come through the camera right now
and put my arms around you. No imposter syndrome, Baby,
You've got this. It is so like you said in
your DNA and you are so much enough. You are
through and through. You're enough to be a great writer,
You're enough to be a great speaker, and it's your
(24:23):
purpose it.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Well, I think for me, if I can give tools
to women, or families or men I've spoken to men,
if I can give them tools to understand how to
or the willingness and the courage. So it's a couple
of things, right, the willingness and the courage to ask
(24:47):
the Lord for more, willing to be taken to places
you're not enough and to trust in those spaces. But
also to give families tools data. That's a litter, that's healthy.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Yeah, let's close today with let's give our listeners a
little bit of what you would give in a speech
about creating a culture of home.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, well, for me, and often it depends on who's
in the audience, right, Yeah, But if I can encourage
families to be intentional about creating a culture that is healthy,
that blesses people in and through your home, the ability
(25:33):
to slow things down and de value, that's what I
try to give.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Do I love the slow things down.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
We live in such a fast culture with seldom reason
sit together as a family, don't take time to talk.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
We have devices everywhere.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
You know, I mean that's one of the things people say, well,
what's an example of what you do? Well, we would
read out loud as a family. I grew up doing
that and it didn't matter if there was a two
year old playing with lego. They knew that that was
part of our rhythm.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
And well that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
And so you know, you couldn't necessarily I had five athletes,
you couldn't necessarily have dinner together. But we knew we
had those twenty minutes in the evening together and it
quieted things and then we were able to say, Okay,
what did you go through today? What do you need encouragement?
And so it is it's creating certain rhythms that again
(26:30):
go to your mission.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I love that, Ruth. I loved having this afternoon with you.
Thank you for having me one of many more, I hope,
because you've got a lot to say.
We go to this house. Do you ever see the
Philadelphia story? Yeah? Okay, So the Montgomery Scott estate, which
is what that movie's about, It was on this estate
and they had these it's called Banjo Town. They had
these sixteen little houses on the road that helped lived in.
And she took us to one of those houses and
she said, this can afore he was sliding off its foundations.
(00:33):
I walked in. It had one little bathroom and literally
you couldn't There were no furniture on the second floor
because it had one little mark. It had this little
Martha Washington staircase. What that is is it turns so
tightly you can't pit furniture. So we had to put
on a two story edition to get a bedding. So
(00:54):
Bob happened to have been in this men's group and
one of the guys was going through divorce and he
was a tractor and he said, let me teach you.
So he would come at night and help up, show
him how to use the miner sauce, show him how
to use and.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
My mom came, I didn't know anything about nothing that
would become his life.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Yes, we literally when I tell you the number, excuse me,
of mistakes we made. My mom showed me how to
hang the mole paper, and my dad would come up
and help me read you the floors. So we couldn't
hire anybody. We flipped that house. Eighteen months later, that
Saint Real letter came to us and said, I can
(01:33):
double your mother. So we began to flip every eighteen
months and me and in every eighteen months. We were
having a baby. So I know anxiety. I'm anxiety. Yeah,
(01:53):
I mean I remember a friend who I met came
over to my house and she brought her little girls
and her little girl goes mom and pulls on her
arm because my dollhouse is bigger than this. It's like,
that's we heard. I'm aware and uh, so for sixteen
years this and then we end up. You know, my
mom had died and I wanted a home that would
(02:14):
have a guest house for my dad. And we found
this house. It's three hundred and seven years old. Wayam
Penny did it? I said, three hundred and seven years old.
Your most beautiful grounds I've ever seen. And it has
two guest houses. And so it's like the Lord was like,
you know what, and uh and we built a barn
so that we can do so much entertaining. And so
(02:35):
it's just been.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I love that, Barn, I want to have a party,
and I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
So it's so fun. And this story, you know, with
my uncle visiting, and that's when that all everything kicks off.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Well tell the story because I'm still not where I
want to be. Okay, Well we'll and go back with home,
but tell the story of the uncle because we might
be getting there. So, as I think I said at
the beginning, my oldest was leaving for college and I
began to feel that shift of who am I going
to become? And during that time, one of my uncles
was visiting, and he visited us pretty regularly. He was
(03:09):
in my living room and I was in the kitchen
and I hear this Ruthie. Ruthie, come join me in
the living room and I go sit down, and he said,
may I ask you a very very private question, he says,
your uncle Hebert. He said, what are you one hundred
percent depending on the Lord for right now? And I said,
besides raising these kids? Yes, I said nothing.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
He said, I know. He said, you and Bob have
gotten so good at what you do. The well little
to no room to watch God work him get the
boring night game. So can I Can I challenge you
with something nice? Yes, he said, ask the Lord to
give you your vision, beyond your resources, beyond your financial needs,
your personal capital, and your education, so that you can
(03:53):
see him work. And he gets the boy minic.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
So beyond what you have, what you know and mean.
So I started to pray that pretty boldly. That is
something that the last sixteen years had done was given
me a pretty strong prayer life and an understanding that.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
But God right, So I remember my aunt and this
is the whole side. But she had this.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
She had peaked this mural, this big canvas completely.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Black, the entire thing in the bottom corner in white.
It was got dot dot. But God, so I truly
understood what that meant. So I began to pray visionly
on my resources and uh. Shortly thereafter, I went to
a conference in Connecticut, a women doing Law conference, and
(04:51):
I had already hosted a woman doing a Well event
in Philadelphia, but I went up again. And I know
you're aware, but women doing Well has to do it
helping women come to the place of understanding their purpose,
their plan, and what they're passionate about. So I'm sitting
here with you know, rock stars, That's all I'm gonna
tell you. You know, Janis, I mean women that were
(05:14):
they had already made their mark, Ali Lloyd Jones, you know.
And I'm sitting at this table and that's daunting, oh beyond.
I'm a housewife from the main line, and I mean,
that's how you see yourself. It doesn't matter that you know,
you've had the history you've had, this is who you are.
(05:34):
And there was a three women were on a panel.
They were all in the space, sweet space, and they
were talking about leading their different industries, going into ministry
and one instead. You know how, I'm really struggling. I
know how to do a spreadsheet in my sleep, but
I don't even know how to make a chacoud before.
(05:55):
And I'm in my car with my dearest friend driving home,
and I'm just in tears and I said, you know, Heather,
I don't I don't know my purpose anymore. The only
thing I'm passionate about is what the Lord would be
willing to do in and through my home and my family.
What would he ever do with that? And I definitely
don't know God's plan for me, and she started laughing
(06:16):
and she like jabbed my arm and she said, well,
at least you know how to make her security cord.
But look at the book and you open it up
the very first Yeah, it's the security record. So I continue,
I'm praying that for her.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
I mean, it's nunning. But every single thing.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
You know, when I first watched your show and you
had sent me your book, and I mean, I was
blown away, and I was like, surely this is all stage,
Like surely the people come in and I mean there's
dish after dish after dish and cookies and biscuits and oh,
what's it?
Speaker 1 (06:47):
No baby, And I'm like, she cooks all this, Like
I door dash, you cook. I just interviewed a woman
on the show down Charlotte and Nielsen, who's just a
love all that. I saw that he had probably four
people staging everything around us, like if I got up,
they fluff my pillow if I did. And I was like,
(07:09):
where are these people when I can't think every week?
Because I would sure be much more productive if it
wasn't just not ourselves.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I mean, woman, you cook, I do it for God,
say Heathery're saying, at least you can do a shirt, so.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I could invite it shortly and thereafter. But my dear
friend Wendy Rogers, who you're going to meet, okay, wait,
speaks a lot around the country. But she was speaking
at a woman of Legacy conference at Museum of the Bible,
and she called me and said, hey, what are you doing?
You know it comes stay with me at the Trumpe
Hotel at the time. She's like, you know, I said,
(07:46):
I mean, I have no business being at that conference,
and she's like, just come crash with me. So I
take a couple of days, I go down dirt. I
walk in. Okay, can I just tell you, first of all,
have you ever been to AVERTI is it the wall
door for them? It's the wall door. I walk in
in rip jeans that I've had and I'm still wear
since I was eighteen.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
And I'm like, I'm sorry, rich, you're bragging now, but.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I'm just saying I didn't and it and I walk
into this thing and everybody, you know, all our friends danced,
everybody's there and I sit down at the only available
seat next to this woman who's just beautiful and regal,
and you know, I'm like, what am I doing, and
she and I start to have a conversation and she
(08:32):
starts to cry, and she says, you're my divine appointment.
And I said for what? And she said, I told
the Lord on the way here I wanted to meet.
He had to have someone for me. So and we
both were passionate. You know. She was with the family business.
I was at the family business, very very different levels
of family business. Gets up and goes to get a
(08:55):
drink and someone says, do you know who that is?
I said no, and they told me in I didn't
know them. But she came back and we just had
a wonderful time of connection and talking about how God
our passion for restoring the ruins of property as well
as the ruins and that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
The ruins of home.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Which is in my book, the very first page, is
a whole thing, and it talks about the rot. It's
kind of clean story that you're home. So we leave
about a month later, and again this whole time, I'm praying,
did you beyond your resources? And I host a wedding
at my house a few hundred people, and I get
(09:42):
chronic coigraines and I'm laying on my kitchen floor. It's
this Sunday afternoon, the wedding, even Saturday. My husband's a
massaging my head and my phone starts to beat and
I said, who is it? Yeah, I see what is
Does she need something? Because it kept trying to reach me.
He said, lots of in London a mon hosting an
(10:05):
event and I said tell her no, and he said,
you're not even pray about so he proceeds to pray
and her next text was I'm bringing you out here.
So I go two days later, missed her huge event,
but Sally White Jones says there as well. And at
(10:25):
the end of that week, Sarah says, I'd like to
take you both to my favorite lunch, which is in
the costume. So we go to this place in the
cotswalls and while we're having lunch again, I think it's
the way you're looking at me like you have lost
your mind? What this is so much anxiety like all
that that has he's watching me? Okay, So she says, Ruth,
(10:48):
if you're moving every eighteen months, why do you mout
on packed because you're going to keep moving. And I said,
you know, everyone's hungry for home. They both at when
can I tell you Teresa. At the same time, they
pick up their computers. We're at this luncheon table. They
look at each other. One says it hasn't been taken
(11:09):
and I said, what hasn't And they said the name?
I said for what is then you're supposed to write?
I said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no no. I
will never write ever. I can't think of anything i'd
less like to do or that I am. I'm not
equipped to I wouldn't even know where to I'm never
going to write. And it had just come up in
a family kind of reunion event that I had been
(11:31):
had where they were all talking about the next books
they wanted to do. And I started laughing and said,
I will never do a book. So this is on
the backshop with that. So for the rest of the trip,
they're giving me a hard time, saying you need to
write a book. I said, I don't have anything to say.
I get home. One of my sisters lives in one
of our guest colleges and she was walking over and
(11:54):
she says, how's your trip, And I said, you're going
to laugh. They think I need to write a book.
And she starts to cry and she said, you're supposed
to do this. I said, I will never read mark
my words right. She said, I have a friend who's
an author where you'd be willing to talk and I
said sure, but I'm not doing these So she said
just tell her who you are and your story. So
(12:17):
I get on the phone with this a woman named Jess,
and we have a long conversation and she said, I
think you're supposed to write this book. I said, I'm
not doing She's a mad com busy. She flies out
the next week.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
This is so crazy making all these things up, and
you're you're the one going, I don't want this.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
I don't want this.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
It like it's worse. I'm worse, or we're more miraculous
or more better. I don't know's miraculous. So she comes
and visits. The night before she leaves, she says to me,
she's interviewing my family the whole time. And I had
said to her, listen, I am willing to like write
a little bit of story and write all my recipes
because my kids always want my recipes, which is really cool,
(13:01):
chat for all for Christmas, for everybody. She said no.
The night before she's leaving, she says, this is bigger
than you. I'd like to help you collaborate and I
suggest I'm not doing that. So the last day that
he's literally leaving on a Sunday, she's flying out Sunday afternoon.
See or a Saturday, she and my sister walking. I'm
sitting on that same house I had been sitting with
(13:22):
Uncle Hubert. She walks in and she has two wrecked
presents and she hands me the first one and I
open it up and it's a tea pot. And she says, Ruth,
for every time you're asking the Lord for that vision,
be under resours because I want you to have a
cup of tea. And I burst out laughing and it
had become a joke and I said, Jess, I don't
drink tea, and I'm not writing the book, and you
(13:43):
know in hindsight, and I just want to throw this
in there. That teapot was a from a place called Terrain.
Are you familiar with Terrain? Anthropology owns Strain and they're
a huge it's they're probably my favorite home outdoor store.
They became my first partners too, and Michael, I know.
So she hands me the second gift and it's wrapped
(14:07):
and she said, before you open it, she said, your
sister and I went to home stores, gardening stores, bookstores.
I wanted to find a book that I wanted to
find something that would look like what I thought you
would produce if you ever did a book. And I
was like, this is really interesting. I open it up.
(14:27):
I'm like, yess, where is this place? But I don't know.
We flip it to that it's the farm and the cospwalls.
Sarah had taken it.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
Okay, I got chill me.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
The chances of that, Teresa are zero zero. I had
never told anyone it was Dale's Surtfarm. I didn't know
dale Sur Farm even get a book. I hadn't told
my sister where I'd it, because I mean, how irrelevant.
He doesn't know anything about the Coswolds.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
But Ruth also, what's woven into this, Well, it's a
new community of women for you, and they're women who
are immediately support it. And for that person and your
sister to go to all these places and to find
there's so much love in this story. Oh oh, I
mean it only And you know it's like, as women,
(15:15):
so often we don't support one another in success in
leadership in business, and you've got these women going, you're
the one one that I don't want to believe.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I didn't believe in myself, and it was, you know,
it's one of those things where I literally so as
soon as this happens Theresa, I fall on my knees
in the living room and I'm just crying and I said, God,
I'll do it. But I said, I don't know how
to do it. I don't know what to say, and
I don't even know that I have the means to
do it. I mean, all three things that what had
(15:48):
I've been praying about. And she says to me, Okay,
I'm going to put on your phone and ask every
Monday night for six months. I'm gonna send you questions.
You're going to speak into your phone, it's going to
transcribe onto my computer, and you and I are going
to work on that. We do this for six months.
Our friend then comes over and takes thirty three thousand photos,
(16:10):
holds it down, calls it all down to like a thousand,
or maybe it was like six hundred, and then my
sister and I in my living room for three spray days,
cut and pasted this three hundred page manuscript with pictures,
and the photographs are so I thought, picture is so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
No, No, if they're there beyond, it transports you immediately,
you know the cover you open it.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
I mean I wanted to be there.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I think I got that book when you sent it
to me, like on a Sunday, and I sat down
in my bedroom exactly where I talked to you, and
I just couldn't stop. You know, I just looked like
this is otherworldly. But I say to people, I can
also tell when they haven't read it and they've just
seen the posters, and I'm like, no, no, I really
have something I want to say. So my and I
(17:00):
were sitting on the we have two chairs in our
we have a fireplace in our kitchen, and we're sitting
in front of the fireplaces. Labor name weekend.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I have this stack three hundred pages and I'm sitting
in front of me and Wendy the same friend, calls
me and she says, all right, he was gonna he
was gonna publish this. And I was like, I have
no idea. She said, all right, I know the person
who helped record and write Purpose Driven Life. Let's get
you on a poll. So she immediately puts us on
this zimcom. I'm on this call with this gentleman. And
(17:30):
he says to me, all right, I can tell just
by looking at you you're not a household name. I said, no, sir,
and he said, what's your what's your social media? Like,
I don't have any needs. Now a look your trouble
and he said that the industry has shrunk so much
because it's self publishing. And unless you can prove you
have a marketing engine underneath you every time you they're
(17:50):
not going to take you right now. You need to
self published. So this is like an hour conversation, but
this is where it ends up. So we hang up.
I'm sitting there with my husband and I said, well,
well I'm all done. I said, guess what. We have
a fantastic get to give our kids for Christmas. I
need you to put three hole punch it and we're
going to give these this presents. And he said, you're
(18:12):
not self publishing this. I said, not a champ. And
I said I wouldn't even know where to begin, and
I'm not doing that. He said, well again, you haven't prayed.
So we're sitting there, and he prays, what.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Calls you out at all the pivotal Oh.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
I love it too. And it's so funny because I'd
be the first to call somebody else on it. But
that's how much fear is behind this. And he prays.
And as soon as we've finished praying, he says, Ruth,
I think my new paddle partner from South Africa just
bought a printing company. Let me call him. Calls Michael Michael.
He says, do you do books? Michael's like, I have
(18:47):
no idea. I'll call you right. Yeah, that's real quick,
like he had just He calls Bob back. He goes,
we do He said, I'm going to have it done. No,
this is November. I mean this September, He said, I
will have it done in six weeks. I'll do it
for cost. If you could track roots in my boardroom
on Monday. I will have the heads of every department
(19:09):
there to walk her through this process. My gosh, When
I tell you, who gets this? When I tell you
there is nothing start to finish, even the shows that
I was offered then I said no to I can't
tell you from start to finish.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
There's nothing I can take credit for in fact, I
mean this is just like this is it's in.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Spite of me. Yeah, everything I had prayed for, Right,
He's like, I'm not only going to not let you
take credit for most of it, I'm not gonna let
you take credit for any because I get I'm gonna
take you someplace you fought, man. And so it has
been and just what's continued. I can't even tell you
(19:59):
the conversationations that I've been able to have that I
have no business. Yeah, the people who have stepped in
two stand in the gap and to leverage their own
you know, their own name to put me in places
(20:21):
that I have no business being. I mean my first thing,
I mean, think about it. It's coming out. It came
out November one. I'm sitting and I think it was
even lightly snowing in front of the Farmer's Market with
up with my stackup books going anyone want to book?
I had no ideas so much.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
So I just want to kind of tag back to
a few really vulnerable things that you've said. I'm trying
to wrap us up just a little bit for today
because we're gonna save.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
We're gonna save that. You got this genormous television short
baron audience, just stay tuned.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Oh how many years has it been since you wrote
the book?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I think four?
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Four?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
You know, I kind of hear I hear this theme
a little bit in your story of how you felt
with your mom, you know, and how you felt in
the beginnings what Uncle Hubert called you to. You prayed,
and these women who began to grow something inside of you.
But it's your it's your concept, it's your belief in home.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Let's see, it's.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yeah, but you didn't even know it. And then you
didn't feel like you were good enough to write it.
You didn't feel like you were good enough to sit
at the table with these women who were encouraging that
I had something to say. You did, and good enough
may not be the right words, but you didn't feel like.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
You had this. Do you now, four or five years later?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
It is then, and this is where I can get heary.
It has been four years at the imposter syndrome. It
is a strange place, you know. I remember asking Bob once, like,
was all those years of courtroom experience waste? It was
(22:19):
all the you know, all the things that we put out.
I mean, obviously we flipped homes, the Lord. He gave
us huge opportunities. But for me, and you know, I
was I just shared this story or was it a
wedding over the weekend and one of my former law
professors was there and he had seen something of me
(22:42):
out there, and I said, do you remember I was
first year law student. I mean constitutional law, the deans
teaching constitutional law, and what they do in law school
is it's called the Sotocratic method. You have to stand
up for that two hours of class and you are
asked questions for two straight hours. Nobody else like it
is just you. And because the dean knew me because
(23:05):
my dad was a law professor, he called on me
very early on in the air and I remember standing
up and I passed out immediately. I woke up in
another room, had my feet up, and at graduation a
couple of the professors he ended me the helmet and said,
for the oh that's your bio a trial lawyer. It's
(23:28):
fascinating because what did I become And I would never
be able to stand in front of the groups that
I stand in front of, or even the camera that
I do, and think as quickly on my feet then
for that training. So it's been so sweet for me.
So that is been a sweet thing to see. Nothing
(23:52):
was wasted, not your answers and not things he grew
in me that I didn't think i'd ever see you get.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
I just want to come through the camera right now
and put my arms around you. No imposter syndrome, Baby,
You've got this. It is so like you said in
your DNA and you are so much enough. You are
through and through. You're enough to be a great writer,
You're enough to be a great speaker, and it's your
(24:23):
purpose it.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Well, I think for me, if I can give tools
to women, or families or men I've spoken to men,
if I can give them tools to understand how to
or the willingness and the courage. So it's a couple
of things, right, the willingness and the courage to ask
(24:47):
the Lord for more, willing to be taken to places
you're not enough and to trust in those spaces. But
also to give families tools data. That's a litter, that's healthy.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Yeah, let's close today with let's give our listeners a
little bit of what you would give in a speech
about creating a culture of home.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, well, for me, and often it depends on who's
in the audience, right, Yeah, But if I can encourage
families to be intentional about creating a culture that is healthy,
that blesses people in and through your home, the ability
(25:33):
to slow things down and de value, that's what I
try to give.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Do I love the slow things down.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
We live in such a fast culture with seldom reason
sit together as a family, don't take time to talk.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
We have devices everywhere.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
You know, I mean that's one of the things people say, well,
what's an example of what you do? Well, we would
read out loud as a family. I grew up doing
that and it didn't matter if there was a two
year old playing with lego. They knew that that was
part of our rhythm.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
And well that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
And so you know, you couldn't necessarily I had five athletes,
you couldn't necessarily have dinner together. But we knew we
had those twenty minutes in the evening together and it
quieted things and then we were able to say, Okay,
what did you go through today? What do you need encouragement?
And so it is it's creating certain rhythms that again
(26:30):
go to your mission.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I love that, Ruth. I loved having this afternoon with you.
Thank you for having me one of many more, I hope,
because you've got a lot to say.
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.