November 5, 2025 • 25 mins
What happens when the person who makes everyone laugh is walking through heartbreak?
In this episode of The Soul Talks Podcast, Theresa Bruno sits down with beloved comedian, author, and speaker Anita Renfroe to explore how laughter can be both a gift and a lifeline. From standing on a stump singing to cows as a little girl, to finding faith and humor through seasons of deep grief, Anita shares how joy became her ministry.
Together, Theresa and Anita talk about cultivating joy in a heavy world, learning to “step over” what you can’t fix, and discovering glimmers of redemption even in pain.
This conversation will make you smile, maybe cry, and remind you that laughter—especially when life isn’t funny—can be one of the most powerful forms of healing.
Subscribe for more soulful conversations.
Connect with us:
Visit Theresa's Website: www.theresabruno.net
Listen on Spotify: https://bit.ly/3GnmGIE
Get your copy of "He's Not Coming Back": https://bit.ly/40qGX6Y
Connect with our guest:
Visit Anita's Website: https://www.anitarenfroe.com/
Follow Anita on Instagram: https://bit.ly/4qM2OBE
Find Anita on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMomSong
In this episode of The Soul Talks Podcast, Theresa Bruno sits down with beloved comedian, author, and speaker Anita Renfroe to explore how laughter can be both a gift and a lifeline. From standing on a stump singing to cows as a little girl, to finding faith and humor through seasons of deep grief, Anita shares how joy became her ministry.
Together, Theresa and Anita talk about cultivating joy in a heavy world, learning to “step over” what you can’t fix, and discovering glimmers of redemption even in pain.
This conversation will make you smile, maybe cry, and remind you that laughter—especially when life isn’t funny—can be one of the most powerful forms of healing.
Subscribe for more soulful conversations.
Connect with us:
Visit Theresa's Website: www.theresabruno.net
Listen on Spotify: https://bit.ly/3GnmGIE
Get your copy of "He's Not Coming Back": https://bit.ly/40qGX6Y
Connect with our guest:
Visit Anita's Website: https://www.anitarenfroe.com/
Follow Anita on Instagram: https://bit.ly/4qM2OBE
Find Anita on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMomSong
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
I'm just thrilled to be able to sit for a
few minutes today with Anita Renfro. And she is just
so well known in our community as a Christian comedian.
She's also a wife and a mother and just a
really excited grandmother. As I've been told. Yes, she makes
us laugh really hard, like belly laugh, and then reduces
(00:26):
us to tears and always directs us toward God, which
is amazing.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
And sometimes sometimes just a little bit of pete. I
feel like three drops is the measure of I really,
if I made you laugh to the point of incontinence,
then I've done my job. Yes, Oh my gosh, Well,
I don't even know how we would measure that, Anita,
I don't know, but you know, I just I'm trying
to prepare your listeners just in case, you know, they
(00:51):
need to pause and take a little break and come
right back, come back. Okay, it sounds good.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
You know. I've been listening to a lot of your
videos in the last few days preparing for our talk,
and I mean, I'm just rip roaring laughing all. I mean,
it just it just flows, you know, and so many
pivots in your life.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Wow, Yes, you know, I feel like, if you live
long enough and if you're at all tuned in, everybody
has them. And the crazy and great thing is life
keeps happening, which is great for comedy because there's always
something to talk about. But the other, the flip side
(01:35):
is life keeps happening, and that means you have to
adjust your sales and go a different direction and be
flexible and not be stuck in the same patterns that
you've had your whole life, because sometimes they just don't
work anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Yeah, well, I just have to bring up one story
before I ask you. What was your biggest pivot, your
biggest place in life where kind of the story went
in a direction you didn't expect.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I just love the time.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
When you said you were like three or four years
old and you were standing on the stump in front
of the cows and you were singing, and all the comedy,
all the things you felt inside that you couldn't express
in the home was coming out in front of the cows.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yes, cows are a very They seem like they're really
taking everything in that you're offering. So they were a
great audience. So yes, just literally about I'm waving my
hand eight miles as the crow flies from where I'm
living now is where the old home place was, where
(02:43):
my grandmother and grandfather lived, And there was a pecan bottom,
meaning a stand of pecond trees down there, and occasionally
one would die and they'd cut it down, and I
would I'd stand out there and sing and express myself
to the cows, and they seem to love it. You know,
no one complained. So I'm very thankful that obviously what
(03:05):
was hardwired that got hardwired in my body to stand
in front of people and to not be afraid of
just letting it, letting it rip, letting it all hang out.
Those things are hardwired into me early, and I'm very
thankful that I found a place to use them to
spread joy to women, uh I say, and a few
(03:27):
very well evolved men from coast to coast. And I'm
thankful that I can still do it. I love it.
I get such joy. I get energy off of Yeah.
Energy is the right word, because like it's not the applause,
it's not the ego, it's not ego driven. It's just
(03:48):
like when you hear in the movie Carriots of Fire
when Eric Liddell said, when I run, I feel his
pleasure and when I hear women laughing, I feel his pleasure.
That there is strengthen the joy.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yes, yes, so much of our world isn't joyful. I
was a woman the other day, Valerie Burton, she's a
really famous coach, and she just wrote this book called Resilience.
It's coming out this week, and she was saying, you
know what I like to talk about today because everything
is so heavy, everything is so sorrowful. It's cultivating a
(04:25):
practice of joy, which I told, wow, Love, we have
talked so much for years about a gratitude practice. But
you know, sure you're saying the word joy makes you
light up.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yes, absolutely, And I think the practice of joy means
it's intentional. And I really love that she is championing
that that idea because like sometimes I feel like women
just don't make room. We don't make room for joy
because there's so many demands on our time and there's
(04:57):
so many things that can cause us. I mean, let's
just be honest. Menopause can really wreck the joy, right,
It can hot flash it straight out of you and
all of the all of the news symptoms. You're like,
is this normal? Am I crazy? And the joy really
has to be intentional. And so I always say, when
(05:21):
people buy tickets to my show, you can take it
off of your you know, see if your insurance will pay.
Because it's as good like a medicine, so says the Bible.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I mean, and I just applaud what you do, because
you really are in service to us. We need to
laugh desperately. But how did you get there? How did
you get to that place where you became a comedian?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Wow, that's a It was a it was a long
slow burn. I didn't I was like one of the
last people to figure it out that I was funny.
Everybody would tell me that, and I thought maybe they
just didn't have a very wide experience. They didn't know
what was funny. They were they had bad taste. How
you know, I'm like a million reasons why what they
(06:01):
said might not be true. And after a while, you know,
when the eighty fifth person tells you that, you're like,
wait a minute, maybe I'm funny. I don't know, am I?
And so I was doing women's conferences doing music and
they said, can you come back next year and do
more of the funny stuff? And I didn't know it
(06:22):
was funny.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I was just.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Talking, and so that might be one of the best
measures of if the Lord has, you know, gifted you
to do something, is that it doesn't seem abnormal. It
seems doesn't every doesn't everyone think crazy thoughts like this,
and definitely not. I don't know brave enough to say
it out loud, but I didn't have any trouble saying
(06:47):
it right out loud, and people seem to laugh because
their experience it's a common experience. I try not to
talk about anything that's so specific that people can't join in.
I just to talk about common things.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
So you at that time and still are a pastor's wife.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yes, my husband was not on church staff for seventeen years.
He traveled with me full time because I need a
lot of adult supervision, is the real reason. And then
a few years ago he had a life threatening illness.
He was hospitalized for ten days and the resulting complications
(07:28):
made it not so comfortable to travel anymore. So he's
back now in the pastor as a care pastor. And
that's the part he actually really loves. He doesn't care
anything about the administration or power or any of that.
He just wants to be with people and love on them,
so this is a perfect fit for him. So I'm
(07:50):
back on the road doing most of my dates alone,
which forces me to be a big girl and hitch
up my panties and you know, figure out which way
is north, south, east and west, which I didn't have
to worry about for a long time. John did all
the thinking for me. So, you know, it's a different season,
(08:11):
time to adjust.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
So you live in this life that is always filled
with a sense of humor.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, honestly, I don't know how people live without it.
I think laughing about something nineteen times a day is
far superior to curling up in a fetal position and
trying to figure it out. So we love to laugh.
Our house was always you know, we never had that
(08:40):
rule you can't laugh at the table. My kids could laugh.
They could spit mill if we didn't care whoever was
the funniest one the night. So we kind of had
a different kind of vibe, I guess, and my kids now,
I feel, are very joyful people, So I'm thankful for that.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
So has there been a place, a point happening where
it just wasn't very humorous, it wasn't funny.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Oh my goodness, So many times the one that specific
one that I think about is one of my kids
kind of went off the rails for a while. And
if you have more than one child, you know how
they say one makes you proud and another one makes
you pray. So at different times, different stories, but this
(09:30):
one time it was pretty significant with significant consequences. And
I remember I was doing Women of Faith. I think
Lisa was there part of this time too, and I
was contractually obligated to show up and spread joy when
I myself was having a real hard time finding song. Yeah,
(09:52):
and my husband and I were really grieving because this
was something we never I don't know that we never
saw coming, but you know, you try not to think
that it's going to happen. And I would show up
to Women of Faith. This was on a Friday, because
at this point we were doing pre conferences, so I
(10:14):
would show up on a Thursday night. And two of
my friends, if I mentioned them, you would know who
they are, Patsy Clarmont and Jan Sylvius were doing the
pre conference with me. This was one that the conference
started earlier in the afternoon for people that were really spiritual,
like you would buy a ticket and come if you
(10:34):
were the most spiritual you would come to this part.
So I remember I would show up Thursday night when
I would land. When am I playing with Land, my
phone would ding because it says I had a message waiting,
and I would listen to the message. It would be
one of them, Patsy or Jan saying, we're in room
two thirty six. We can't wait to hear all the
(10:58):
stuff you need to tell us this week. We're waiting
to love you and pray for you. And to have
that kind of support from people that were not related
to me, who probably had their own struggles going on,
(11:19):
meant the world that they didn't say, hey, come on,
we'll talk about your problems. They said, we're here waiting,
And that was such a blessing during that time to
have people waiting to hear what you had to say,
and they didn't care if you cried or yelled or
(11:42):
cussed a little. You know, they wouldn't judge you. They
just they just loved me and prayed for me.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I think that's one of the biggest things I've learned
in my grief journey is how not only powerful, but
just completely necessary a deep and trusted friend group.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Oh, without a doubt, sorry, I got it. My glasses
are falling down. That's great.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah, how are we doing in as?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
We're doing good? You're good. I feel like I was
really trying for Dewey. Yes, the trusted friend group is essential.
And I know some women are hardwired to appreciate a
loneness and big margins and introversion and that sort of thing.
(12:32):
But I could not advocate any stronger for at least
a couple of people who will hear your heart without
judgment and who will give themselves to you when you're
in crisis. It's just a different thing, and it is
(12:56):
such a measure of the grace and the mercy of
God to provide those things in our life. So I
would also say it's really important to nurture those oh yeah,
because you know it's kind of hard to make those
friends in the middle of a crisis, right, Yeah, you
need them already there for you.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
And when you go through a crisis, sometimes friends you
thought were those friends don't accompany you. Oh oh, people
you lightweight begin to really come alongside you.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yes, thank God, those are defining moments in a friendship,
I believe, and I'm thankful. Yeah, So how would we
put that have a lot of friends to pick from.
What was it like?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I mean, here you are traveling every weekend and you're
supposed to be funny on stage and your heart's broken
over yourself. What would it like to have to have
that out, you know, public facing persona and yet inside grieving.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Well. I am thankful that as a comedian I had
a lot of material to draw from. I didn't have
to pretend to be happy. I just had to lean
hard into the things I had already developed. And I
(14:17):
think that is a great principle for anyone going through
anything hard, because you still have to show up. Some
of people have great jobs that they still need to
go to in order to continue to support their habit
of a mortgage and groceries. You can do the things
(14:38):
you need to do. You can depend upon the talents
and the skills that you've already developed and do the
things that need to be done. In that instance, my
heart was breaking. I would cry during worship, and then
I would take my little powder puff and go up
under here and they'd say, well, I'm Anita Renfro. But
(15:01):
boy did it give me strength to stand on that
stage and deliver joy Because once again, like Eric Liddell,
I felt his pleasure. So it was difficult. Yeah, it
was difficult in one way. But I feel like the
Lord gives us responsibilities so that we can keep showing
(15:22):
up and knowing that His strength is perfect in our weakness.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Mm hm did you did you question God?
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Times?
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Oh yes, oh yes, why yes? Why in the world.
I I am a little bit Jewish in that particular
thing we've been taught. Oh, don't don't box with God,
you know, don't don't come against him. Why it's going
to strike you dead. But I really believe in wrestling
(15:54):
with the questions, and I think God's shoulders are big
enough to handle our doubt and our anger. Because it
was you know, I was a little bit mad about it,
Like how real mad? Yeah? How do how do we
serve you? You know? Because in that moment, I think
your faith becomes a little transactional, like, Lord, look at
(16:15):
all the things I've done for you? Oh could you
do this to me? But you know, the truth is
on the other side of that is the grace and
mercy of God that he never fails. He's faithful even
when we are faithless. And I'd love to be able
to say that oh, no, like Job, I never questioned Lord,
(16:37):
but even Job kind of got upbraided a little bit.
Where were you when I was storing all that snow? Yeah? Right,
So I love that the Lord is big enough to
handle our doubts.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Absolutely. I love what you said about the questions. I
don't know exactly how you said it, because there's a
phrase I love that's from a poet, random, Marirookate. He
talked about being able to live the questions, yes, to
have the.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Answers right, because sometimes the answers are slow coming and
or never come. And Henry Now never come in this life.
I'll put it that way, Henry Now. And it's one
of my favorite authors. And yeah, in his devotional there's
(17:26):
one that he talks about stepping over our hurts and
our grievances, because some will not be solved even if
you go to therapy for one hundred and fifteen years.
If you live that long, you will not get the
apology that you're looking for because that person has already died.
And some of these things we just need to step
(17:47):
over or else they will poison us. And I'm a
big believer in stepping over things that I can't explain
or I don't have answers for just step over.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I agree times that step, you know, the foot just
wobbles on the top and then go and.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Then tries again, because it could be a little dance,
a little dance step.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, I trying to step over something right now and
I'm struggling with it.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
It's all right, take a step, and if you have
to jump back over, you know it'll still be there
another day.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
I've heard you say two things that I would hope
our listeners and viewers would really hold on to.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
I think it's so extraordinary that in the depths of pain,
because when when something's going on with the child, deeply
going on with one of your children, there is no
true happiness in your life.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
I know from experience with one of my boys.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
I mean, yes, there just isn't a true, you know,
fully lived out happiness when of your children is really suffering, right,
But you were, You're part of your healing.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
It sounds like was putting that joy out to others.
Oh yeah, had to, but it also was a bridge
for you, Yes, and it comes back to you. I
feel like the joy and happiness.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
That I call it. I'm a purveyor of fine joy,
but it doesn't just bless everyone else. Like it comes
back to me that because yeah, I consider what I
do a conversation with the audience. Now, the audience doesn't
have a microphone, and unless they're heckling, they don't get
(19:28):
to talk back, but they're voting with their laughter that yes,
I identify with that. Yes, that resonates with me, and
I find a lot of community just in that conversation.
And so the audience blessed me as much as I
felt that my job was to be there to bless them.
(19:50):
So absolutely it was part of my healing to get up,
put my lipstick on, stand up and tell people that
the joy of the Lord is our strengths. Even when
I was feeling weak, it was a great help to me.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
The second thing you said is sometimes you're just not
going to get that apology, just step over.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
It and get on with life. Yes, because it's only
hurting you, right Like unforgiveness is another situation where it
just hurts you. You're allowing that person that wronged you
to take up brain space and emotional bandwidth that you
really need to have available for the beautiful and brilliant
(20:37):
things that the Lord is put in front of you.
So I feel like stepping over just sets us free
to enjoy the good things that God has.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Oh I did too, And I love that you touched
on unforgiveness because you know, we live in a world
where there's a lot of that right now.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yes, unforgiveness. And you know, I just I don't know
how to say it. Hardness. You hardly see people softness anymore,
the humanity. Everyone's just interested in blowing things up online,
and it's like, I'm just I'm sixty three. I don't
(21:16):
really have time to care about everybody's opinion anymore.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I just just taking it upward. That's where I am.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
There you go, I'm aligned here, I'm okay, there you go.
I love it. That's true.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
I've kept you as long as we committed to keep you.
But I wanted to just briefly ask, where's your story today?
You came through a lot of pivots, But sixty two,
sixty three year old Anita still yes, yes, all the time,
tell me still doing it.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I'm surprised. I can't believe I still get to It's
it's I don't know. I keep thinking like at some
point I'll be the joke instead of telling the jokes.
But so far, so good. The story now is that
child of mine, who's a well adult now came through.
(22:14):
Of course with battle scars, there's there's not much much
way to I don't know how you insulate yourself against those.
But is serving the Lord and is committed and wonderful parent.
And you know the Lord is a redeemer and.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
You are giving me a redemption story.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yes, the Lord is a redeemer, I know this. And
time is not a healer, but time definitely helps. So
we know that the Lord is the healer. He's the
healer and the redeemer. So keep looking to the redeemer
and keep looking for Oh, I just thought I heard
a word the other day. It's probably not new to
(23:02):
everybody else, but it was kind of new to me.
Which you know that this is the opposite of triggers.
Do you know the word glimmers? Glimmers?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I love glimmers.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yes, today for glimmers glimmers. Well, you can have those
emotionally too. If you're in the middle of a hard time,
ask the Lord to reveal to you glimmers of hope
about that situation. And if you can attach yourself to
a vision of that situation being resolved in the best
(23:35):
possible way, and then ask the Lord to continually to
reveal to you glimmers of that reality because it's happening.
But sometimes it's happening slowly, so it can be We
can be so impatient, right. We want it to be
over or to be healed, or to be redeemed or
transformed in a quick way. But the Lord's mercy is
(24:00):
long and slow. But there's also and suddenly, I believe
in those two. There's a bunch of those in the Bible,
so those can happen too. But there's a lot more
long and slow than there is and suddenly, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
That's a beautiful, you know, kind of workbook in a
concise way of you got to have a mindset shift,
and that's the long haul. And then you ask God,
what is there good about this? I'm not getting come.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
On, sure, sure? And how are you changing me? And
how are you changing me?
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Not?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
How are you changing that situation out there that I
have almost zero control or input in. But I think
the Lord is continually redeeming us too.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
That's a beautiful way to close and so special you're
just I know you're a comedian, but you just deeply
steeped and.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
I'm so deep for a shallow person. Is that what
you're trying to say. That's not true.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I can't wait for our next conversation, and I'm gonna
call my sister in one second and tell her how
much fun we had.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I'm excited to talk to you again. I loved it.
Thanks for inviting me. You are amazing. Thank you so much.
Take care,
I'm just thrilled to be able to sit for a
few minutes today with Anita Renfro. And she is just
so well known in our community as a Christian comedian.
She's also a wife and a mother and just a
really excited grandmother. As I've been told. Yes, she makes
us laugh really hard, like belly laugh, and then reduces
(00:26):
us to tears and always directs us toward God, which
is amazing.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
And sometimes sometimes just a little bit of pete. I
feel like three drops is the measure of I really,
if I made you laugh to the point of incontinence,
then I've done my job. Yes, Oh my gosh, Well,
I don't even know how we would measure that, Anita,
I don't know, but you know, I just I'm trying
to prepare your listeners just in case, you know, they
(00:51):
need to pause and take a little break and come
right back, come back. Okay, it sounds good.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
You know. I've been listening to a lot of your
videos in the last few days preparing for our talk,
and I mean, I'm just rip roaring laughing all. I mean,
it just it just flows, you know, and so many
pivots in your life.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Wow, Yes, you know, I feel like, if you live
long enough and if you're at all tuned in, everybody
has them. And the crazy and great thing is life
keeps happening, which is great for comedy because there's always
something to talk about. But the other, the flip side
(01:35):
is life keeps happening, and that means you have to
adjust your sales and go a different direction and be
flexible and not be stuck in the same patterns that
you've had your whole life, because sometimes they just don't
work anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Yeah, well, I just have to bring up one story
before I ask you. What was your biggest pivot, your
biggest place in life where kind of the story went
in a direction you didn't expect.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I just love the time.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
When you said you were like three or four years
old and you were standing on the stump in front
of the cows and you were singing, and all the comedy,
all the things you felt inside that you couldn't express
in the home was coming out in front of the cows.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yes, cows are a very They seem like they're really
taking everything in that you're offering. So they were a
great audience. So yes, just literally about I'm waving my
hand eight miles as the crow flies from where I'm
living now is where the old home place was, where
(02:43):
my grandmother and grandfather lived, And there was a pecan bottom,
meaning a stand of pecond trees down there, and occasionally
one would die and they'd cut it down, and I
would I'd stand out there and sing and express myself
to the cows, and they seem to love it. You know,
no one complained. So I'm very thankful that obviously what
(03:05):
was hardwired that got hardwired in my body to stand
in front of people and to not be afraid of
just letting it, letting it rip, letting it all hang out.
Those things are hardwired into me early, and I'm very
thankful that I found a place to use them to
spread joy to women, uh I say, and a few
(03:27):
very well evolved men from coast to coast. And I'm
thankful that I can still do it. I love it.
I get such joy. I get energy off of Yeah.
Energy is the right word, because like it's not the applause,
it's not the ego, it's not ego driven. It's just
(03:48):
like when you hear in the movie Carriots of Fire
when Eric Liddell said, when I run, I feel his
pleasure and when I hear women laughing, I feel his pleasure.
That there is strengthen the joy.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yes, yes, so much of our world isn't joyful. I
was a woman the other day, Valerie Burton, she's a
really famous coach, and she just wrote this book called Resilience.
It's coming out this week, and she was saying, you
know what I like to talk about today because everything
is so heavy, everything is so sorrowful. It's cultivating a
(04:25):
practice of joy, which I told, wow, Love, we have
talked so much for years about a gratitude practice. But
you know, sure you're saying the word joy makes you
light up.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yes, absolutely, And I think the practice of joy means
it's intentional. And I really love that she is championing
that that idea because like sometimes I feel like women
just don't make room. We don't make room for joy
because there's so many demands on our time and there's
(04:57):
so many things that can cause us. I mean, let's
just be honest. Menopause can really wreck the joy, right,
It can hot flash it straight out of you and
all of the all of the news symptoms. You're like,
is this normal? Am I crazy? And the joy really
has to be intentional. And so I always say, when
(05:21):
people buy tickets to my show, you can take it
off of your you know, see if your insurance will pay.
Because it's as good like a medicine, so says the Bible.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I mean, and I just applaud what you do, because
you really are in service to us. We need to
laugh desperately. But how did you get there? How did
you get to that place where you became a comedian?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Wow, that's a It was a it was a long
slow burn. I didn't I was like one of the
last people to figure it out that I was funny.
Everybody would tell me that, and I thought maybe they
just didn't have a very wide experience. They didn't know
what was funny. They were they had bad taste. How
you know, I'm like a million reasons why what they
(06:01):
said might not be true. And after a while, you know,
when the eighty fifth person tells you that, you're like,
wait a minute, maybe I'm funny. I don't know, am I?
And so I was doing women's conferences doing music and
they said, can you come back next year and do
more of the funny stuff? And I didn't know it
(06:22):
was funny.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I was just.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Talking, and so that might be one of the best
measures of if the Lord has, you know, gifted you
to do something, is that it doesn't seem abnormal. It
seems doesn't every doesn't everyone think crazy thoughts like this,
and definitely not. I don't know brave enough to say
it out loud, but I didn't have any trouble saying
(06:47):
it right out loud, and people seem to laugh because
their experience it's a common experience. I try not to
talk about anything that's so specific that people can't join in.
I just to talk about common things.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
So you at that time and still are a pastor's wife.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yes, my husband was not on church staff for seventeen years.
He traveled with me full time because I need a
lot of adult supervision, is the real reason. And then
a few years ago he had a life threatening illness.
He was hospitalized for ten days and the resulting complications
(07:28):
made it not so comfortable to travel anymore. So he's
back now in the pastor as a care pastor. And
that's the part he actually really loves. He doesn't care
anything about the administration or power or any of that.
He just wants to be with people and love on them,
so this is a perfect fit for him. So I'm
(07:50):
back on the road doing most of my dates alone,
which forces me to be a big girl and hitch
up my panties and you know, figure out which way
is north, south, east and west, which I didn't have
to worry about for a long time. John did all
the thinking for me. So, you know, it's a different season,
(08:11):
time to adjust.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
So you live in this life that is always filled
with a sense of humor.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, honestly, I don't know how people live without it.
I think laughing about something nineteen times a day is
far superior to curling up in a fetal position and
trying to figure it out. So we love to laugh.
Our house was always you know, we never had that
(08:40):
rule you can't laugh at the table. My kids could laugh.
They could spit mill if we didn't care whoever was
the funniest one the night. So we kind of had
a different kind of vibe, I guess, and my kids now,
I feel, are very joyful people, So I'm thankful for that.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
So has there been a place, a point happening where
it just wasn't very humorous, it wasn't funny.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Oh my goodness, So many times the one that specific
one that I think about is one of my kids
kind of went off the rails for a while. And
if you have more than one child, you know how
they say one makes you proud and another one makes
you pray. So at different times, different stories, but this
(09:30):
one time it was pretty significant with significant consequences. And
I remember I was doing Women of Faith. I think
Lisa was there part of this time too, and I
was contractually obligated to show up and spread joy when
I myself was having a real hard time finding song. Yeah,
(09:52):
and my husband and I were really grieving because this
was something we never I don't know that we never
saw coming, but you know, you try not to think
that it's going to happen. And I would show up
to Women of Faith. This was on a Friday, because
at this point we were doing pre conferences, so I
(10:14):
would show up on a Thursday night. And two of
my friends, if I mentioned them, you would know who
they are, Patsy Clarmont and Jan Sylvius were doing the
pre conference with me. This was one that the conference
started earlier in the afternoon for people that were really spiritual,
like you would buy a ticket and come if you
(10:34):
were the most spiritual you would come to this part.
So I remember I would show up Thursday night when
I would land. When am I playing with Land, my
phone would ding because it says I had a message waiting,
and I would listen to the message. It would be
one of them, Patsy or Jan saying, we're in room
two thirty six. We can't wait to hear all the
(10:58):
stuff you need to tell us this week. We're waiting
to love you and pray for you. And to have
that kind of support from people that were not related
to me, who probably had their own struggles going on,
(11:19):
meant the world that they didn't say, hey, come on,
we'll talk about your problems. They said, we're here waiting,
And that was such a blessing during that time to
have people waiting to hear what you had to say,
and they didn't care if you cried or yelled or
(11:42):
cussed a little. You know, they wouldn't judge you. They
just they just loved me and prayed for me.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I think that's one of the biggest things I've learned
in my grief journey is how not only powerful, but
just completely necessary a deep and trusted friend group.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Oh, without a doubt, sorry, I got it. My glasses
are falling down. That's great.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah, how are we doing in as?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
We're doing good? You're good. I feel like I was
really trying for Dewey. Yes, the trusted friend group is essential.
And I know some women are hardwired to appreciate a
loneness and big margins and introversion and that sort of thing.
(12:32):
But I could not advocate any stronger for at least
a couple of people who will hear your heart without
judgment and who will give themselves to you when you're
in crisis. It's just a different thing, and it is
(12:56):
such a measure of the grace and the mercy of
God to provide those things in our life. So I
would also say it's really important to nurture those oh yeah,
because you know it's kind of hard to make those
friends in the middle of a crisis, right, Yeah, you
need them already there for you.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
And when you go through a crisis, sometimes friends you
thought were those friends don't accompany you. Oh oh, people
you lightweight begin to really come alongside you.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yes, thank God, those are defining moments in a friendship,
I believe, and I'm thankful. Yeah, So how would we
put that have a lot of friends to pick from.
What was it like?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I mean, here you are traveling every weekend and you're
supposed to be funny on stage and your heart's broken
over yourself. What would it like to have to have
that out, you know, public facing persona and yet inside grieving.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Well. I am thankful that as a comedian I had
a lot of material to draw from. I didn't have
to pretend to be happy. I just had to lean
hard into the things I had already developed. And I
(14:17):
think that is a great principle for anyone going through
anything hard, because you still have to show up. Some
of people have great jobs that they still need to
go to in order to continue to support their habit
of a mortgage and groceries. You can do the things
(14:38):
you need to do. You can depend upon the talents
and the skills that you've already developed and do the
things that need to be done. In that instance, my
heart was breaking. I would cry during worship, and then
I would take my little powder puff and go up
under here and they'd say, well, I'm Anita Renfro. But
(15:01):
boy did it give me strength to stand on that
stage and deliver joy Because once again, like Eric Liddell,
I felt his pleasure. So it was difficult. Yeah, it
was difficult in one way. But I feel like the
Lord gives us responsibilities so that we can keep showing
(15:22):
up and knowing that His strength is perfect in our weakness.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Mm hm did you did you question God?
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Times?
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Oh yes, oh yes, why yes? Why in the world.
I I am a little bit Jewish in that particular
thing we've been taught. Oh, don't don't box with God,
you know, don't don't come against him. Why it's going
to strike you dead. But I really believe in wrestling
(15:54):
with the questions, and I think God's shoulders are big
enough to handle our doubt and our anger. Because it
was you know, I was a little bit mad about it,
Like how real mad? Yeah? How do how do we
serve you? You know? Because in that moment, I think
your faith becomes a little transactional, like, Lord, look at
(16:15):
all the things I've done for you? Oh could you
do this to me? But you know, the truth is
on the other side of that is the grace and
mercy of God that he never fails. He's faithful even
when we are faithless. And I'd love to be able
to say that oh, no, like Job, I never questioned Lord,
(16:37):
but even Job kind of got upbraided a little bit.
Where were you when I was storing all that snow? Yeah? Right,
So I love that the Lord is big enough to
handle our doubts.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Absolutely. I love what you said about the questions. I
don't know exactly how you said it, because there's a
phrase I love that's from a poet, random, Marirookate. He
talked about being able to live the questions, yes, to
have the.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Answers right, because sometimes the answers are slow coming and
or never come. And Henry Now never come in this life.
I'll put it that way, Henry Now. And it's one
of my favorite authors. And yeah, in his devotional there's
(17:26):
one that he talks about stepping over our hurts and
our grievances, because some will not be solved even if
you go to therapy for one hundred and fifteen years.
If you live that long, you will not get the
apology that you're looking for because that person has already died.
And some of these things we just need to step
(17:47):
over or else they will poison us. And I'm a
big believer in stepping over things that I can't explain
or I don't have answers for just step over.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I agree times that step, you know, the foot just
wobbles on the top and then go and.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Then tries again, because it could be a little dance,
a little dance step.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, I trying to step over something right now and
I'm struggling with it.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
It's all right, take a step, and if you have
to jump back over, you know it'll still be there
another day.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
I've heard you say two things that I would hope
our listeners and viewers would really hold on to.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
I think it's so extraordinary that in the depths of pain,
because when when something's going on with the child, deeply
going on with one of your children, there is no
true happiness in your life.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
I know from experience with one of my boys.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
I mean, yes, there just isn't a true, you know,
fully lived out happiness when of your children is really suffering, right,
But you were, You're part of your healing.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
It sounds like was putting that joy out to others.
Oh yeah, had to, but it also was a bridge
for you, Yes, and it comes back to you. I
feel like the joy and happiness.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
That I call it. I'm a purveyor of fine joy,
but it doesn't just bless everyone else. Like it comes
back to me that because yeah, I consider what I
do a conversation with the audience. Now, the audience doesn't
have a microphone, and unless they're heckling, they don't get
(19:28):
to talk back, but they're voting with their laughter that yes,
I identify with that. Yes, that resonates with me, and
I find a lot of community just in that conversation.
And so the audience blessed me as much as I
felt that my job was to be there to bless them.
(19:50):
So absolutely it was part of my healing to get up,
put my lipstick on, stand up and tell people that
the joy of the Lord is our strengths. Even when
I was feeling weak, it was a great help to me.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
The second thing you said is sometimes you're just not
going to get that apology, just step over.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
It and get on with life. Yes, because it's only
hurting you, right Like unforgiveness is another situation where it
just hurts you. You're allowing that person that wronged you
to take up brain space and emotional bandwidth that you
really need to have available for the beautiful and brilliant
(20:37):
things that the Lord is put in front of you.
So I feel like stepping over just sets us free
to enjoy the good things that God has.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Oh I did too, And I love that you touched
on unforgiveness because you know, we live in a world
where there's a lot of that right now.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yes, unforgiveness. And you know, I just I don't know
how to say it. Hardness. You hardly see people softness anymore,
the humanity. Everyone's just interested in blowing things up online,
and it's like, I'm just I'm sixty three. I don't
(21:16):
really have time to care about everybody's opinion anymore.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I just just taking it upward. That's where I am.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
There you go, I'm aligned here, I'm okay, there you go.
I love it. That's true.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
I've kept you as long as we committed to keep you.
But I wanted to just briefly ask, where's your story today?
You came through a lot of pivots, But sixty two,
sixty three year old Anita still yes, yes, all the time,
tell me still doing it.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I'm surprised. I can't believe I still get to It's
it's I don't know. I keep thinking like at some
point I'll be the joke instead of telling the jokes.
But so far, so good. The story now is that
child of mine, who's a well adult now came through.
(22:14):
Of course with battle scars, there's there's not much much
way to I don't know how you insulate yourself against those.
But is serving the Lord and is committed and wonderful parent.
And you know the Lord is a redeemer and.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
You are giving me a redemption story.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yes, the Lord is a redeemer, I know this. And
time is not a healer, but time definitely helps. So
we know that the Lord is the healer. He's the
healer and the redeemer. So keep looking to the redeemer
and keep looking for Oh, I just thought I heard
a word the other day. It's probably not new to
(23:02):
everybody else, but it was kind of new to me.
Which you know that this is the opposite of triggers.
Do you know the word glimmers? Glimmers?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I love glimmers.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yes, today for glimmers glimmers. Well, you can have those
emotionally too. If you're in the middle of a hard time,
ask the Lord to reveal to you glimmers of hope
about that situation. And if you can attach yourself to
a vision of that situation being resolved in the best
(23:35):
possible way, and then ask the Lord to continually to
reveal to you glimmers of that reality because it's happening.
But sometimes it's happening slowly, so it can be We
can be so impatient, right. We want it to be
over or to be healed, or to be redeemed or
transformed in a quick way. But the Lord's mercy is
(24:00):
long and slow. But there's also and suddenly, I believe
in those two. There's a bunch of those in the Bible,
so those can happen too. But there's a lot more
long and slow than there is and suddenly, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
That's a beautiful, you know, kind of workbook in a
concise way of you got to have a mindset shift,
and that's the long haul. And then you ask God,
what is there good about this? I'm not getting come.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
On, sure, sure? And how are you changing me? And
how are you changing me?
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Not?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
How are you changing that situation out there that I
have almost zero control or input in. But I think
the Lord is continually redeeming us too.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
That's a beautiful way to close and so special you're
just I know you're a comedian, but you just deeply
steeped and.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
I'm so deep for a shallow person. Is that what
you're trying to say. That's not true.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I can't wait for our next conversation, and I'm gonna
call my sister in one second and tell her how
much fun we had.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I'm excited to talk to you again. I loved it.
Thanks for inviting me. You are amazing. Thank you so much.
Take care,
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