Fully Alive: Are You Missing Out on Truly Living? | Derek Watson Interview - The Stand Up Dude Podcast

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Idols of our culture are looking good, feeling good, being right, and being in control.

(00:09):
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Stand Up Dude Podcast. I am one of your hosts,
Stewart White, along with our host, Tim Bisagno. Tim, that was quick when that. Yeah, hey,
this was better. Yeah, there was no delay between that. So I was very satisfied with that.

(00:30):
Thank you. Thank you, Stewart. Yeah, yeah, it's good to be here. I'm glad we are doing another episode today.
And we have a guest with us today's name is Derek Watson. Derek runs a ministry that does workshops
that are really geared toward showing you why you are the way you are, what led you to that place.
But then why that isn't the person God has created you to be. I'll let him fill in more of the color

(00:55):
of all the details there. But welcome to the show, Derek. Well, thanks so much for having me,
guys. It's a treat. Yes, sir. I love Derek. I'm just going to do an impromptu intro that just
is an incredible man, incredibly well versed, very, very well read, highly experienced.

(01:16):
And I have done this workshop and it will destroy you. And that's a good way.
And good way. And then rebuild now, man, men, you know, people do, I don't know, keep it at men,
men do hard men do the hard stuff and it's hard. And I highly, highly, highly recommended

(01:39):
purpose for life. That's about a three or four day event. And it is, it is long. And it's beautiful.
And exactly what it is. Well, Derek, express that, but that's not necessarily why we're here just to
push that. We are here to call men forward and Derek Watson is excellent at doing that. So thank

(02:04):
you for being here, brother. Absolutely. Absolutely. Tell me a little bit about, about yourself.
What brought you into this space of can I call it coaching? It's more than that.
It's definitely, I've styled myself as a coach. And how did I get here? I went through a very similar

(02:26):
workshop when I was 31 years old. And it was life defining for me. I had decided up to that point
that the way I could succeed in life is being the absolute best at academics, pretty much any

(02:49):
endeavor. If I wasn't like the best, I was deemed myself failing. And as part of that,
how I was at that age, I had shut down my emotions from the time I was an early teen,
where I would really not express any kind of emotion much at all. I was very level.

(03:15):
And that wasn't God wanted me to have a heart. And so he used a very similar workshop to
to open up that my heart. And I had to express some of the pent up emotion I had over the years.
And once that happened, I had a lot more resource available to me to live my life and

(03:43):
to love my wife and kids. And so I shortly thereafter got involved. And within five years or so
became a trainer and coach and started doing these workshops.
Thank you. Well, you've visited your website now.

(04:04):
When I first discovered you, I didn't even do that. It just I knew I was supposed to go. So I went to
your event. But I see here that you start out by saying the thief comes only to steal and to kill
and to destroy. He's a thief. God says, I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.

(04:30):
John 10, 10. Why do you start out with that verse on your site?
You know, I think it just expresses so well. I think a reality that most of us live in in our culture.
And that is our birthright to be joyful and free and loving. It has really been destroyed

(04:57):
and stolen. And God is in the redemption business. And I know often I think in our in the church context,
it's about getting to heaven. But I think really God wants us to live a full life here now, not just
in the great by and by. And I think that is that scripture just grabs me so much about living life

(05:26):
to the fullest. I was thinking about the movie Braveheart, which I think resonates particularly
strongly in men's souls and just the passion with which William Wallace brought to what he was
involved in, whether it was his relationship with his significant other, setting his people free.

(05:52):
I mean, it was, it's that kind of heart that I think God wants to call us forth into day, day to day.
And it's very easy to sort of pull back and to withdraw and to sort of say, hey, last week was

(06:16):
a tough week. I'm going to take a week off. And so I think that John 10, 10 scripture just speaks so
well to kind of the place where a lot of men and women in our culture, they're just getting by.
Yes. Tell me, so one of your favorite statements or quotes or questions that you ask often

(06:45):
during some of your events is what experience are you committed to causing here now? And
what I have some ideas, but you're like I said, I trust you. I don't need to say a whole lot here.
You know what we're trying to do. What experience would do you feel is best to cause

(07:14):
that young men will experience by listening to this podcast?
Well, I think a number of things and I don't think that statement or that question isn't just
a one thing. It could be moment to moment. It can change. But I think the first off would be

(07:36):
to encourage. And I know you guys have talked about that in the past where it's about
having courage. And in some ways, I'm almost thinking of I want to ex-curge. I want the heart to come out.
Not just encourage like something going in. And so I think of that scripture in Revelation where

(08:02):
it talks about rivers of living water will flow out of our basically our being. And I think
a lot of young men, I think, live in a question of, is there anything valuable in here?
Is there any kind, do I really have anything to give?

(08:24):
And so I think I asked that question to begin helping men and women focus on
what is coming out of from me versus, hey, I'm a customer for all sorts of things. I'm a customer
for being loved and entertain me or keep me occupied. But ultimately the question is, what am I

(08:55):
going to produce in the world? What kind of experience are people around me going to have
because I'm here in talking and being with whomever? And so I think, for here now, it's that
sense of the possibility that I have something good to give. And not just good to give, but

(09:23):
it's a one of a kind gift. If God has created us all unique, the gift that I can give in a particular
moment is going to be different than the gift that Tim gives, the gift that Stuart gives. I mean,
we're not just robots off the assembly line. And our culture, really, if you think about our culture,

(09:48):
we worship things that are exactly the same. We want every McDonald's hamburger, the goals it's
going to taste exactly like every other one, even if that's a little questionable on the taste front.
They want that consistency. We want every car to come off and be exactly like the model that

(10:11):
is supposed to be, but God has created each of us unique just in who we are. But then also in the
experiences that we live through and they form us to a certain degree as well. And so I think for
men, it's a, you know, to fully accept the responsibility for being that unique gift of God,

(10:36):
and then striving to give it. Okay, it's powerful.
How do you get there?
That, the how is it is a good question. And that's sort of what the four day workshop is about.

(11:01):
It's a series of structured experiences that are kind of built one on top of another to help
first see where you're at, to see what is coming through to other people. So we have a feedback
exercise where people share how, you know, how, you know, you hear how people experience you. And

(11:24):
you know, oftentimes, you know, in an honest environment, it can be a little surprising. You know,
you might have thought you had some things covered up and pretty well hidden. But, you know, when
people are honest, they can, you know, they speak right to those things that you kind of think you
got, you know, kind of how are people experiencing you? It may be different than what you think you're

(11:44):
presenting. Yeah, I mean, because people are very intuitive. But we kind of, in our culture,
kind of have this, I won't, you know, I won't be honest with you if you won't be honest with me.
You know, so we kind of have this little kind of conspiracy going where, you know,
you know, we'll just kind of be, you know, dudes and hang out and not really get too, you know,

(12:06):
intimate or serious or honest or open. Yeah, here we go. Okay, so for me, I just got this vision
of these, somebody sent me a picture of these people playing in a yard that were surrounded by
these big, giant plastic bubbles and they were bumping into each other. And what you just described
with dudes hanging out and we're all sitting around in this plastic bubble and we're bumping up

(12:29):
against each other. And you don't be honest with me. I won't be honest with you and we're cool. And
let's just bump bump. I'll be a little bit honest with you, you know what I mean? It's not like we're
out-out lying, but we're not really, you know, that's, I think, it's only to a certain degree most often.
Okay, so what is, so you've said something in your introduction about the heart and I'm very,

(12:54):
very interested in hearing more about that because you have a genius of way of getting
out people get into their, into their heart. What? Tell me for a young man, a human to

(13:16):
alive right now. We're so told, let me stick it with, let me stick with men, that we are to be
conquerors or to be the person's making the decisions where the ones collecting the information,
it's all just head, head, head, head, head. And the women's job, you know, we know they often operate

(13:44):
from their heart, but it's certainly not a man's job that shows weakness, it shows this or that,
please unwrap that for me, the importance of a man living in his heart.
You know, I think, you know, obviously Jesus's example was definitely someone who was not just

(14:08):
kind of operating in a head space, he also had a big heart of love, compassion, you know,
fierceness at times. And so he had access to the full range of human emotions. I think
our culture particularly for men and women have their own kind of version of this, but

(14:35):
particularly for men, our culture does not support us in staying present with our emotions.
We often, our culture is very uncomfortable with any kind of strong,

(14:56):
negative emotion, such as grief. You know, these days you can rarely grieve at a funeral.
You know, I mean, we need to celebrate the person's life, which it certainly is celebration.
That's one of us. Yeah, it's not a bad thing, but it's kind of whistling past this whole other
area of loss. And I use that just as an example of kind of how our culture kind of subtly spins,

(15:25):
hey, don't express those tough emotions like anger. I mean, the scripture says, be angry.
And sin not, don't let the sun go down on your anger. But our culture kind of says, don't be angry.
That's how they stopped it at that. Come on, let's keep talking. We just talked about this on

(15:50):
podcast yesterday. Okay, cool. Cool. We're in a theme here. Exactly.
Verse. You know, and so what happens at growing up in this kind of culture is we start stuffing
emotions. You know, and you know, you think about, you know, think about fourth or fifth grade.

(16:12):
And, you know, if you show a little bit of emotion because, you know, for any reason,
you know, you're made fun of, you're ridiculed, you're, you know, you're taunted. And so,
you know, we end up deciding, hey, I'm not going to show that. You know, and we begin to slowly

(16:35):
restrict, you know, sort of what space we allow ourselves to move in. And, you know, and so as a result
of that, you know, those feelings don't go away. I don't believe it. You know, it's, they don't,
you know, they don't just kind of evaporate on the inside. They keep the score thing. The body keeps

(16:56):
the score. And, and so, you know, so over a period of time, a lot of a man's energy can go to
just containing that strong emotion. Come on. You know, and so if there's ever any kind of
provocation towards, you know, a reason to be angry, what comes out is far above the provocation.

(17:22):
You know, someone cuts me off, you know, on the freeway. I can go into a road rage that is not about,
you know, yeah, maybe this guy was, was, you know, a bit of a jerk cutting me off. But my response is
not just coming from this incident. It's, it can be coming from a whole history of things that have

(17:45):
not been expressed. And, and so, you know, the, so, so I think men end up being in a predicament.
You know, they've got all this emotion inside. And, and, you know, maybe they grew up, they get married.
And, and, you know, they have a wife who wants them to be emotionally available.

(18:05):
You know, to really, you know, show up and, and be there. But so much of the, the energy the man,
you know, has is just going to containing this sort of, you know, pent up feeling.
And, and, you know, it comes out in different ways. You know, I think that vices can be an expression of that.

(18:28):
Um, you know, and, and so the, the goal, I think, to be, you know, if that's the problem,
the goal is to get current with all that kind of pent up emotion. So that you can respond, you know,
in measure to what is going on around you. So it's not, you know, what you used a word is interesting.

(18:52):
I loved it. Uh, when it comes up suddenly in the present because it's been stored in the past,
that's an emotion that's expressed what, um, well, inappropriately, really, but there's,
well, yeah, it's, it's out of measure to the provocation.
Provocation. Something out of measure. Uh, from, you know, to me, and it's like, wow, that's a,

(19:12):
he just cut me off. I mean, I want to kill him. Like, what? I mean, that's a lot.
I mean, seriously, you know, you kind of nearly want to run the guy in the, you know, and cause a huge accident.
And that's, you know, not, um, that's not, well, certainly it's not rational,
but, but it's also not, um, helpful. Yeah. You know, and so not coming from a place of, of health,

(19:37):
you're, there's clearly something deeper going on there. Yeah, there, there's, you know,
one way I talk about it is there, there are these things that are incomplete in the past of various
sorts. And, uh, you know, it, what one of the, the analogy is, I think I, I like to use is, is,
the nation of Israel in regards to Egypt. You know, and, and at first, Egypt was salvation to the

(20:05):
nation of Israel. Remember, you know, Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers. He was sold into
the Pharaoh's house. He rose up. He got knocked down. He rose up again. And he was in a position to,
you know, basically create a space for his family, his father, his brothers, and their whole,
you know, entourage to live in, in, in, uh, in Egypt. And because of his close, you know, his, his

(20:32):
ability with dreams, you know, he had the foresight to say, Hey, we're, a famine's coming. I mean, so,
so he created a place of safety for Israel. And then over time, that place of safety became a prison.
You know, and I think likewise for, for, for all of us, for men, you know, we made decisions early on

(20:57):
because it was, it was, it's what was needed to get through whatever we were facing. You know,
we made decisions. Well, I'm going to cut off my emotions because I got to get through fourth grade.
You know, I, I got to get, you know, I got to move on. And, and so, you know, we make a series of
decisions that almost we forget that we decide. And, and we start believing that's who I am. You know,

(21:22):
that's my identity is who, you know, I became through all of these decisions. And so, um,
and so those very decisions that were life saving at a certain point in our life become a
prison and prevent us from fully experiencing, you know, all that God has, has for us to, you know,

(21:45):
to live and to, you know, live life to the fullest. So for a young man or, or an old man,
and there's, there's plenty of both that feel imprisoned by these
traps that they have, these prisons that they've built, that used to be a good thing and that they

(22:10):
thought. And now they're trapped with this prison and they can't feel, they can't fully
feel. And what would, how do we, what can we do about that? What can we do about if we're,
if we were trapped in this junior high thing that happened and now we're, we're 40 or we're 20 or we're

(22:38):
70. What can happen there to help us walk out of that trap to be, or to be healed in that trap and
then walk out? What, what does this look like? Yeah, and so I think it can be very frustrating because,

(23:00):
you know, we probably, you know, well, first off, I think, you know, we're always, as human beings,
God has created us to become, each day, we're becoming something different, you know, we're not just
a static thing, we're, we're almost like a human becoming. We're, we're, you know, God is calling us
into the next, always, you know, the next season, the next, you know, expression. I didn't know that.

(23:28):
Growing up, by the way, Derek, I didn't know that. I just thought you arrived at, when you were
30, you become an adult and that's it. And then, and then he ride it out. But,
right. I mean, and so, you know, I think God has always whispering to us about, you know, something new
to, to enter into. And, you know, you think about, you know, we're on a journey through life here.

(23:51):
Yeah, we're not just camping out in one spot. We're, we're, you know, going, we're on a journey.
And, and so, when you're in a place where you've tried everything you can think of,
to kind of move forward and you're still kind of stuck in a sort of similar spot, you know,

(24:12):
that can be very frustrating. And so, often one of the, the, the first sort of changes of mind
that needs to happen is even believing something new is possible. Yeah. You know, just, just saying,
hey, I'm not just stuck here forever. There, there is a possibility that, and, and, and because I've

(24:36):
already tried everything I can think of from what I have, you know, a, that I'm aware of, you know,
the, the, the, the, the, the breakthrough, so to speak, is going to come from something that I'm
not unaware of. You know, it's going to come out of the dark, okay? You know, because I've looked
under every lamp trying to find, you know, a key to move forward. And, and if I'm still stuck here,

(25:00):
the answer or the key must be, you know, coming from somewhere in the dark or outside of my awareness.
And so, you know, first off, you know, is it, it's possible? You have to get to the point of, you know,
it's possible. You know, I often, in the beginning of the training, talk about Roger Banister,

(25:21):
who's, you know, broke the four-minute mile in the first. And, and, you know, people thought that
was physically impossible. And, and, almost like you, you couldn't, you know, if you did that,
something, you know, you'd melt or something. I mean, they, they had no real sense for what would
happen. But, you know, within three months of Roger Banister breaking the four-minute mile, you

(25:42):
know, there's a handful of people, the top contenders, that all broke, you know, they all broke the four-minute
mile. And, and so what shifted for them was it suddenly became possible. Yeah, it can be done.
And, you know, what was impossible, suddenly it was possible. And then all sorts of people entered
in. And so I think that that first step is, is to even, to wrestle until you can, you know, get to

(26:06):
the point of, yes, it's possible. And, you know, then I think there's also a matter of, of,
you know, having a big enough why to do something, you know, and I think, cool.
You know, what happens is, you know, we try it for ourselves. And that's really not a big enough game.

(26:32):
You know, it just doing it for yourself. I think of that scripture that talks about, you know,
it's sowing and reaping. If you sow to the flesh, you reap corruption. And, and I don't think that's
just a, you know, a sex thing. I think that's, you know, am I doing it for myself? That's generally not
a big enough reason. So you need to sort of stack the odds. And that's partly when it gets to the question,

(26:56):
you know, what experience am I committed to cause for others? You know, so that I can say, hey,
you know, others might be worth, you know, if there are enough others, then that, that makes it,
you know, there's more at stake. And I can't just, you know, so easily renegotiate and say, you know,
I'd rather go to sleep early tonight than really work through this stuff.

(27:18):
I like that. Thank you. That the, the why, I forgot that we worked through that. That's beautiful.
You know, you know, the first thing that you said before the why was the possibilities. And it couldn't
help, but, but think of something that you said on your website. I just want to read it. You said,

(27:40):
Jesus opened up the possibilities for an abundant full life here and now.
But most of us fall short from living the fullness of life. What stops us? Could it possibly be our
birthright has been stolen? Or this is what I love, even worse, we have inadvertently sold it cheaply.

(28:11):
What does that mean? Because I don't like the sound of the, or could have we sold it cheaply? That's
disturbing. And I'll please tell me why you ended it with that. You know, um, you know, that it
clearly, you know, from a biblical standpoint, it kind of goes back to Jacob and Esau.

(28:33):
Yes. And you remember, you know, Jacob was sort of this less manly man.
You know, a little bit of a conniving, you know, mama's boy. Second born.
Esau was sort of, you know, out there, you know, hunting and, you know, bringing in dinner.

(28:55):
Harry, you know, yeah. And so after, yeah, man, after your own heart, for us, or your after his heart,
for us, yeah, I'm trying to be like him. And so, you know, after a long day of unsuccessful hunting,
so he was hungry, you know, his conniving brother basically said, well, make you this nice, you know,

(29:18):
this nice meal. It's a pot of stew. A pot of stew, but you got to sell me your birthright. And he was
like, you know, the immediacy of his hunger, you know, he didn't, you know, he didn't think of real
implications. All he saw was the stew and his hunger. And so he wasn't really counting the cost of,

(29:44):
you know, what I am, you know, what I'm giving up for what I'm getting. Because he sold it cheaply.
And I think for us, you know, for us, I think it's something similar where, you know, we can be
distracted by, you know, the things of this world, you know, getting ahead financially, perhaps,

(30:08):
not like that's a bad thing, but where that's, you know, when we're selling ourselves, you know,
I think of, you know, the, you know, entrepreneurs who, you know, are working 20 hours a day, you know,
they're not going to have a happy marriage, you know, if they're married at all. And, and because

(30:28):
it takes time and effort to really sew into those kinds of relationships. And, and so, I think that
the important thing to realize is I did it to myself, you know, like where I am now, I've kind of
negotiated, negotiated my way into that spot. And it didn't just happen to me. It didn't just,

(30:54):
wasn't done to me. I did it. And so I think when men can land on that sort of stand of responsibility,
you know, that says, okay, you know, not like it's blame or anything like that, but it's just like,
okay, I walked into the spot, I can walk out of that spot, you know, and, and, and so the selling

(31:17):
of the birthright, you know, I think is, you know, like, I think many men are afraid of their anger.
You know, that the fear being, if I really, there's so much in there that if I started letting
any of it out, I would kind of almost lose myself, you know, I would just kind of go bonkers and people

(31:38):
think it's crazy or evil. Yeah. And, and, and maybe I'll be crazy. And, and I won't be able to kind
of bring myself back. And, and so they live in that kind of, you know, a sense of fear or trepidation
or a sense of, of concern. I think certainly for others. And so I think there's definitely,

(31:59):
you know, you need to set up a way to get current with your emotions that is, is, you know, constructive
and not destructive. And, and, and, you know, it, you know, the future that is there for us is far
more worthwhile than the things that we're stopping at. Saying again, you know, you know, one of the things,

(32:23):
you know, sometimes I talk about in, in, or what I call the idols of this age, which would be,
you know, back in, in the, you know, biblical times, along roadside, there'd be little shrines to
different local deities. And, and there those were idols, local idols. And, and, and if you're on a

(32:44):
journey, say to the kingdom of God and you stop at one of these idols, you know, more or less,
that's your God for, for the period of time that you're hanging around there. And so, you know, the,
the, I think that the idols of our culture are looking good, feeling good,

(33:05):
being right and being in control. And those, you know, if, if we allow any of those to stop us
from being the full expression of who God has called us to be, you know, wow, we are trying to save
ourselves. You know, we're not really trusting God and, and, and, and we can waste our whole life

(33:32):
hanging out, you know, trying to look good at those, trying to feel good at those idols. So,
being right, being in control. Wow. So on the journey, you got these four idols along the way.
And use the longer you hang out in, in worship or just chill or even like, all right, I'll be your

(33:54):
well, that's what's most important here. I'm stopping it. Yeah, I'm stopping it. What that's the
whole deal. Yeah. It's stopping it. What for that moment is, is most important. If it's most
important to look good, then I'm not going to be able to move into some other things because
sometimes it doesn't look like, you know, I'm voting sometimes doesn't, you know, isn't kind of neat

(34:16):
and tidy. That's power. I like this. I like this. And then feeling good, that, you know, hang,
I mean, that's addiction of any sort, you know, I mean, and, you know, control, I think, is another
one where we don't want to be out of control. You know, that, that, you know, is certainly a

(34:37):
cultural value in our, in our Western world. And maybe even, you know, other worlds too, for that
matter, in the non-Western worlds. And what was the last one? Being in control, well, being right,
being right, feeling good, looking good, being right, being in control. Wow. You know, being right

(34:57):
is kind of like the, you know, that's how we get into doctrinal disputes. Yeah. You know, well,
I'm right. You're wrong. Yeah. You know, and, oh gosh, just that, that whole mentality of, of always
needing to be right will completely take over your entire personality as well. If that's the context

(35:17):
that you're coming from that, that's a person that just doesn't, I don't, I don't really want to be
around that nobody does. Even if they're doing for smart, great, good. I love it. Thank you. But
good gosh, you don't, the person that I think they always have to be right, you just don't want to,
because you're not really a real person at that point. You're not being real and honest with people,

(35:42):
so people get tired of that. Right. You're insufferable. Yeah. Insufferable. That's a problem. And I
think it, you know, for, for being even for the person living in the context of right and wrong,
it's not a good deal because there's only one right way. And there's like an infinity minus one
wrong ways. And so the stakes are so high. And, and, and, you know, that's an entirely different place

(36:09):
to be coming from than one that might be similar, but just good or bad. Okay. You know, it could be,
like I, you know, right and wrong is really is a, it only flows from a judgment.
You know, there's got to be a standard something that is being applied to the situation that says,

(36:30):
this meets the standard or doesn't meet the standard. And, you know, that's a very exacting task master.
I mean, it's, it's, you know, it's, it's not a game that you can really win.
It's very true. I think it was all dealt with that ourselves and dealt with people in our lives that

(36:50):
are that way. And, um, some of them have a remarkable ability to keep you thinking that you need to
win their approval or, you know, get their, their say that you are right. You were, you were good.
And it's always a, it's a carrot that's dangling. You're never going to catch it.
Sounds nasty. Yeah. It's no fun. Sounds brutal. Sounds tired. It's, it's, it's very tiring.

(37:16):
You know, and, and so I think, you know, but their whole, their whole, um,
you know, it's an old song, but there was a great Stephen Curtis Chapman song called The Great
Adventure. Yeah. You know, where it's all about, you know, we're on an adventure. And, um,

(37:37):
you know, there are many ways to be. You don't have to be right. You can, you know,
it's, it's, you know, you can just be excited about what's coming next. You don't have to,
you know, be right about what did work in the past. You know, you don't have to justify all the,
you know, this, the, the stuff because we're all sinners, you know, we're, we're like Paul, you

(38:01):
know, we're, we're the greatest of sinners. I have a friend, Peter Goodwin, he'll be on the,
the show eventually. He owns Groove Life, those rubber rings that, that you see everybody wearing.
He's a local guy. He's, he's on our board for our ministries, one of my favorite people in the world.
And he does a decent amount of speaking because he has a very successful company. He's a,

(38:25):
he's an entrepreneurial leader. He literally started with rubber rings and it's turned into, to,
to just, I mean, everybody like, yeah, I know the rubber rings. Yeah. Um, it's like, he's done belts.
He's done wallets. My point is, is that he, when he speaks at, at, at events and different things
like that, he speaks on the power of making mistakes and, and not always being right. Uh, and

(38:53):
learning from your defeats, he, he says that he is not afraid of them because he learns more with
those than he does his successes. So, um, just couldn't help but think, think of that.
Yeah. And, and this will resonate with you, Tim, at least. I, I don't know so much about
Stewart, but, you know, it's, it's kind of like if you, if you're out, uh, shooting arrows,

(39:15):
yes. And you only have a single arrow. Yes. You end up spending a lot of time aiming.
Uh, no doubt. You know, because you, you, you know, everything is riding on that one arrow.
Yes. You know, but if you had a lot, a ton of arrows, you can just keep shooting. Yeah. And
eventually you'll hit the target. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He, he specifically, I don't know how applicable

(39:40):
this is, but he specifically has a certain amount of money that he spends when he invests on new
products. And then there's a line where he, he stops and, uh, and it's a decent investment that he puts in.
And so, um, yeah, I guess there, there's a limit where you, you have to, uh, put up to where you're not

(40:06):
only learning from your, uh, successes like you've tried ABCDEF and G. And now it's time to, um,
to reboot and to pretty well start completely over and, and, and change that, that path that you
were mentioned that we were on, what, where we sometimes stop at those four idols. Hey, I've got a,

(40:29):
a, uh, two questions for you. Okay. Um, one is, can you tell us what it looks like for a man to be
living from his heart? What does this look like? And I know that it's, it's, it's, it's an unfolding

(40:50):
piece. It's not an overnight piece per se. Uh, but what is it, if you could see what this looks like,
in a man, and I know you've seen that in, in, in even model that, what does that look like for
somebody's never seen it? Yeah. Sure. I think the first, I might cycle back just a little bit,

(41:11):
okay. To the question about why God gave us emotions. Okay. You know, what is the purpose of,
of having emotions? And, and I think it's, it's fairly common to, in our culture to think about
somehow it's like our compass. You know, that if I, you know, if I feel loving, then I can love,

(41:31):
if I feel angry, I can be angry. And, and so, you know, the, the, uh, problem with that is your
emotions will change. You can count on your emotions to kind of ebb and flow. Yeah. Um, and so I,
I think what's most powerful in my experience is to view your emotions as your fuel tank.

(41:54):
It's your fuel for moving forward towards your vision. And, and so, you know, if you look up the,
the, the word passion and the dictionary, it's any strong emotion that compels action.
And so you could be passionate, you know, in, in our culture, again, it kind of is evolved, or devolved

(42:14):
into just kind of like sex, you know, or romance or something like that, but I could be passionately
bored. If I use my boredom to drive me forward to my vision. Yeah. You know, I, you know, so, so I think,
you know, to answer your question, what does it look like?

(42:34):
Um, it's, it looks like a man who's alive, you know, and pursuing the call of his heart, whatever
that is, it could be in business, it can be in relationships, it can be any, any domain of life.
Okay. But he's not just sort of sitting around. He's in movement. He's, um, pursuing, uh, you know,

(42:57):
the next thing, whatever that is. Um, and I think that's in the heart of men to, you know, to be
after those kinds of things, you know, and, and, and so another hallmark, I would say, is,
a man who's, who's flexible emotionally. In other words, he's not just in one mood. He's not

(43:19):
just angry, you know, he's not just, you know, uh, joking around. Yeah. You know, but he can move from,
you know, any range of emotions are available to him. Come and, and then, you know, in part, the
question is, you know, in any one moment, again, my question, what experience are you committed to

(43:42):
causing? Okay. And, and sometimes, you know, like Jesus in the temple, he was committed to causing
an experience of disruption. Yeah. You know, Jesus wasn't always just, you know, kind of meek and mild
and, and, you know, uh, you know, I think you guys talked about, you know, kind of, you know, him
long hair and sort of feminine or something like that. I mean, he was, you know, he was, um,

(44:06):
a passionate, but bow, right. You know, yeah, his, he's passionate about God's call and mission in
his life. And, and so I think, you know, a man living from his heart is pursuing a mission. He's,
you know, uh, using those emotions at hand to drive him forward. Um, you know, he's flexible. He's,

(44:28):
he's not just stuck in one kind of rut. Um, and, and, and it, and it comes across, I think,
ultimately, that it, that's what makes a man feel powerful. And a good, kind of, yeah, yeah, like,
like, I guess, so he's calling. He's, he's, he's, he's being a man. Right. He's not just kind of,

(44:51):
you know, hanging around waiting for heaven or, you know, just, you know, you know, waiting for,
you know, five o'clock to go get a beer or something. I mean, he's, he's definitely, you know,
living in some, you know, a passion for life. And I, I think that kind of, you know, you know,
when you're in the presence of someone like that, you know, it's almost like this. It resonates.

(45:16):
Yeah. You're being somebody said the other day, um, what is masculinity? And they said, well,
it's a little hard to describe, but when you see it, you know, what it is, you, you, you know,
what it looks like. You know it when you see it. And I, I, I love that. You just described it really

(45:36):
well. It's, it's not the chest beaten raw raw necessarily. It's the flex, it's the man that can,
can be flexible with his emotions. He has a mission. He does the hard things. He, he,
is gentle when it's time to be gentle. He's, he's firm when it's time to be firm. And it's just the,

(45:57):
the whole, the whole, uh, gamut there. Thank you. I think you explained that very well.
Um, I'd ask that question is, you know, we, we encourage young men to be the men that create to be.
And we like to start, we make sure that we, we let them know that you, you got to start with knowing
your, your creator. And so that's, we, we know him as Jesus. And what does Jesus have to do, Derek,

(46:28):
with, with, with all of this, uh, that we've mentioned today. Can you take us there because we,
we start with them wanting, uh, understanding that if they're going to be the man that created
to be, they need another creator, what does that creator have to do with any of this in their life today?

(46:50):
You know, first I, I, I would say that, you know, the creator created them as a unique gift. And so,
you know, he is the source of, you know, you know, sometimes, uh, during like, um, you know, like

(47:12):
March madness. I'll watch more basketball than I generally, I'm not a big basketball fan, but,
you know, watch the games. After a while, I start thinking, you know, I think I could dunk.
You know, it just seems like I think I can do that. You know, of course, then I get out by a
basketball hoop and I go, I got a four inch vertical jump, you know, and so I'm not going to be

(47:36):
ducking. Yeah, I'm lucky to touch, you know, the, uh, uh, the net, not the net. I'm not sure.
I'm starting to be happy with the net. Now, you're like six, two, three, six, two, but I can do more
than the net. I know. Maybe with a running jump or something, but, um, but I say that to say, you

(47:59):
know, we are created in certain, you know, we have certain native strengths, certain, you know,
other things that we're not, you know, strong and so I think that, you know, talking about Jesus
as the creator, you know, it's, it's like he's the one that kind of has, has formed us the way we are.

(48:19):
And that is a gift to the world. We just need to find out where to give it.
Love it. You know, and, and, um, and, you know, I think the second thing is, you know, he is really,
um, you know, I would say through the Holy Spirit, you know, there to, to comfort, to encourage,

(48:41):
to empower us, you know, and so he is not just, uh, you know, a casual bystander. He is, he is,
you know, working behind the scenes and shearing on, I think, every man to be, you know, who God calls
him to be and, and, and so, you know, we have, you know, it talks about Jesus being the first born

(49:03):
of many brethren, you know, and, and, uh, the other scripture that kind of, you know, always sets me
a little bit on edge is one with that scripture that says, you know, Jesus said, you know, the things
that I do, you will do greater things because I go to the Father. Yeah. You know, and, and so Jesus is,

(49:24):
is actively, um, you know, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,
you know, to grant us those, those gifts and, you know, a, created us as a gift, but, you know, we
have work to do and, and, you know, he's, uh, he's left it to us to do that work. Yeah. And sometimes I,

(49:47):
I agree with you. Uh, he's employing the Father to, to do this with his, with his children down here.
I also like to think of it as done even doing even greater things is the, the idea of now there's
a lot of little Jesus' little Christ, little Christians. There's, there's, there's a lot of, of his

(50:11):
presence now here. And so doing more is, is carrying the, the, the attributes and, and, and, and the gifts
that he's put in each side inside of each of us to be his hands and feet here. And it's our responsibility
to, to, to, to carry those and to, to, to, now there's Stuart, uh, does his and, and, and cadence back here

(50:35):
behind the mics here doing his, uh, doing mind you're doing yours. Now there's more we can do more, um,
graciously, uh, beautiful way to, to think of that. So, um, Derek,
but do you, do you, would you, is there anything you were, you were, you were, something in there that

(50:56):
you needed to say before, um, you know, I, I think ultimately the, the call I would have for, for
men is to, you know, believe greatly that God is going to use you. You know, and, and that is, um,
love it. You know, I think we got to start there just, you know, dreaming great dreams of, of what

(51:22):
God is calling us to, um, and, and, and then unleash that power that he's put in us, uh, you know,
through, through the Holy Spirit as, as believers and just purely through how he created us physically
to, to, you know, give our all and leave it on the field.
Love it. Absolutely. Absolutely. Love it. But can you, the first thing, the,

(51:47):
but I'll say that, say it again, what you started with, because that, that sunk in good and now,
I'm my ADD just, it went out the, uh, uh, I think my, uh, please just one. So, so a dream,
oh yeah, just to, to, to, you know, my challenge is, is for men to, to dream great dreams,

(52:08):
like huge, um, dreams of what God is going to use them for his Lord.
Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Because I think that, that, um, you know, because without believing,
it's impossible to please God. So we have to start by, you know, wrestling, you know, with, with,

(52:28):
with whatever we need to wrestle with, to get to the point saying, yes, God is going to use
me for great things. Yeah. And from there, it's a matter of just, you know, running and, and, you
know, putting it out there. Love it. Thank you, Derek. Hey, um, it's been a treat talking to you
guys. It's always exciting to, you know, talk about, you know, possibility and God's called us to and,

(52:53):
I guess one other word is, is, you know, for, for the young men out there is to, to find a band of
brothers. You know, people who are like-minded that, you know, are going to support you in this endeavor of,
you know, really casting a huge vision and dream for the future of what God is calling you to.

(53:16):
Um, and, and so, um, you know, don't do it alone. There are other like-minded men that you can,
you know, uh, commit to each other to really support, you know, you being all that God has called you to be.
Amen. Amen. Yeah. We're going to be doing our best here to, to, to, to, to create that kind of

(53:40):
community. We're going to be, uh, in the future doing live zooms with young men, encouraging them,
listening to them, creating that safe space, uh, popping that bubble that I mentioned, that, uh,
of the, all the people in the yard rolling around in these bubbles and, and, um, we hope to have, uh,
camps. We will have camps one day, uh, weekend times and then maybe the, uh, four day camps. Um,

(54:05):
so we're working on, on doing just that and guys in the, in the meantime, um, uh, continuing to be here
on the podcast with us. We have, uh, uh, uh, a lot of, all kinds of ways to, to communicate to us through social
networking, uh, as well as we have an email, dudes at standupdood.com. Just talk to us that way. We even have

(54:30):
a way where you can record. Is that still there? Yes, that is still there. We can record on the, on the,
on the website. There's a little button that pops up on the right. Leave us a, a voiced prompt. Tell us,
your story or tell us how this is helped you. Tell us if you hate what's going on here. All of it's
welcome. We'd love to hear from you, honestly, for real. And, um, so thank you. And, and again, uh,

(54:55):
the, the website that I, uh, I couldn't promote even more strongly that what Derek does. I said at
the beginning, it's not exactly the most astonishing introduction to a ministry to say it's going to
destroy you. It's, but it, it, you don't leave. It's, it's hard. And like I said, uh, men do the hard

(55:16):
things. And, um, it's a beautiful experience. Uh, and, um, uh, go over there and it's really about
the, for life.org. Yeah. Tell us how it is for life.org. And it's, it's a four day kind of intensive,
but, you know, you can start working out the muscles that we're, we've talked about. Yeah. And,

(55:36):
it's what's discussed here. It's a way to actually get it into your body. And so it's, it's a powerful
thing. It's super cool. Exactly. A way to get into your body and you, you walk out, um,
different and better and stronger and more at peace and more you, um, and, um, the bubble gets popped.

(55:58):
It's beautiful. Yeah. Well, Derek, thank you so much for being with us today. We'd love to have
you back. And I trust that of things that you shared are going to touch hearts of men who are
listening. And, uh, I want to speak to those men right now. If you are one of those guys and you have,
you have questions, uh, first of all, possible, possibilities for life.org, check it out, go there, uh,

(56:23):
reach out, get involved in one of those workshops. Uh, and if you have questions for us, you can
reach us at dudes@standupdude.com. You can also go to our website. You can, uh, reach out and hit that
button that Tim mentioned earlier that, uh, is a voice message. Leave us a voice message. And, uh,
if it's something you feel is appropriate for sharing, you can tell us in that message and we would

(56:47):
love to share that on a future episode. Right. So, uh, thank you guys again for listening. And,
until next time, this has been the Standup Dude podcast. Love you guys. Thank you, Derek.
Yes, thank you.
[Music]

(57:10):
♪ Like a moth to a flame so drawn ♪

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Fully Alive: Are You Missing Out on Truly Living? | Derek Watson Interview

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Fully Alive: Are You Missing Out on Truly Living? | Derek Watson Interview