Head of the Family

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
It's time to turn off the lights, grab some popcorn,
and watch some horror movies. This is the Terrible Terror Podcast.
Each episode I telled them to the world of horror movies.
Why don't I do it? I love these horrifying flicks.
Sophie Mador, own movie on your phone or made your
own special effects mcgiveror style, Please send it my way. Now,
what do you get when you take an odd family,

(00:31):
a ton of fucking and just some total horseshit? You
get ahead of the family? Why? Hello, everyone, and welcome

(01:11):
to a brand new episode of the Terrible Terror Podcast.
And yeah, it's a little bit later than it normally
would be released, but hey, it's a new episode, and
so just programming. Note here there won't be a mini
episode for the next one, because this is so close
to the release that I want to give this some
room to breathe. But we will at the end of
this episode talk about what the next movie is going

(01:34):
to be, so you'll get the idea of what we're
going to do for next time and all that fun stuff.
It just means some of the things that I've done
on the mini episodes lately are going to be pushed
to the further mini episode for everything that's going on,
and I'll talk a little bit about the end, well
at the end, about the whole thing going on with me,

(01:55):
and now that you're actually getting another episode, I can
only assume that you get that I'm fine with everything,
but we'll talk a little bit about that whole thing
at the end. Hopefully it won't make this a four
hour episode rather than just you know, probably gonna end
up being a three hour episode. I really don't want
it to be, to be completely honest with you, but hey,

(02:17):
we're doing it, and we are keeping kind of on
schedule with the Charles Bandathon with the very first episode
in that marathon that we're going to do, since there
are going to be three episodes in May and they're
all going to be focused around Charles Band. And I'm
actually really excited about the next movie because it's one
that a lot of people really like and I've never

(02:40):
seen before, and just watching the trailer because I was
going through a bunch of the movies on TV and
was like, tub has a whole full moon section that's there,
and so you can see all this stuff and you
can kind of gander what the movies are going to
be and yeah, this is one that I don't know
how it's escaped the realm of Full Moon pictures that

(03:02):
we're doing here, but I think it's going to be fun.
And uh yeah, I can't wait to actually get onto
that movie. Now. If you didn't know, this movie was
requested and is one of the reasons why we're starting
the Charles bandaiton and this was actually Phantom Dark Dave
that requested this specific movie, right, And it gets me wondering,

(03:25):
why why did you request Head of the Family. And
if you don't know a lot of the Charles Band
movies that are out there, when it comes to Full
Moon there, I don't always put them in the realm
of horror. They get put into the realm of horror
because of subject matter that's there, because there is some

(03:49):
you know, they can be pretty damn gory, and they
can be spooky and do themes of horror and all
that stuff, But honestly, I find them mostly to be comedies, right,
They're comedies with horror aspects. And one of the greatest
examples I can say in this like I even put

(04:10):
like Full Moon as its own fucking genre. When it
comes to like horror movies and stuff. Within the horror
movie realm, there is the full moon genre in my
opinion personally, and like Blood Dolls is the perfect example
of it, where it's in the realm of horror. But
that movie is in no way, shape or form an

(04:31):
actual fucking horror movie. That is just a pure fucking comedy,
like throughout the whole goddamn thing, right, and when it
comes to Head of the Family, I kind of also
put it in that realm of like Blood Dolls at
least while watching this movie, because there's so much of this.

(04:51):
In fact, I don't even know this is a fucking comedy,
to be honest with you. I think that this is
just a soft core porn movie, is what it really is.
This would be something that you'd watch on skin Amax
in the fucking like nineties, that you would ordery be
on USA up all night. But it couldn't be because
there are so much goddamn TNA in this movie and

(05:12):
it's really only one person, well two technically, and that's
really only t no A. But like it's it's so
ridiculous the amount of fucking tits in this movie and
how many times that people are just having goddamn sex.
And it's not even multiple people. It's just Blake Adams

(05:34):
and Jacqueline Lovell that or level or however the hell
you say your last name that are just constantly and
I mean constantly fucking in this movie. It is just
all the goddamn times. So Dave, Dave, please tell me,
please tell me why you want me to watch this movie?
Like I just like he warned me too. He's like, well,

(05:57):
if you want to see a lot of tits and ass,
this movie is for you. And I was like, Oh,
it can't be that bad, can it really? Can it
really be that bad? Uh? Yeah, it's basically that bad.
And it's weird when it comes to these things and

(06:17):
you like, look and I'm like, I'm gonna look for
you know, what's going on in all the special trivia.
And I can't really expect much when it comes to
Charles Band movies when it comes to trivia, because like
one of the things they have on there is shotten
in ten days. Really, it was only ten days to
shoot this movie. Holy fucking god, a Charles Band Full
Moon picture that was longer than seven days. You gotta

(06:40):
be fucking kidding me. When it's come like it's ridiculous
in this movie, even when of them was like the
visual style of this film was inspired by the Munster
It's and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? What part? What
part of a teenage muton Ninja Turtles was this inspired by?
Are we talking about the movie or we're talking about
the cartoons? It has to be just krang, right, That's

(07:04):
the only thing that would inspire this movie, is fucking
crank right? Or was there supposed to be a rat
that was raising his kids on pizza alone? Okay? Is
is that the reason why it was inspired by the
Ninja Turtles? And what about the Monsters? Is it the
really shitty sets? Because the Monsters actually had really fucking

(07:25):
great sets and it's funny. And I really feel like
we missed the boat here, right, because this was, like,
you know, supposedly there was a series that was hosted
by William Shatner, which was The Full Noon Fright Night
back in two thousand and two, and it was episode
twelve of that series, and I really to be you

(07:47):
drop the fucking ball on me here by not having
an introduction to this movie by William fucking Shatner. I mean,
how could you not put that into your toob thing
unless like specifically they could get the rights to it,
even though the image that they were using online was
for this thing. Now, luckily this is available on YouTube,

(08:08):
and actually you can find the full thing on the
Full Moon of Features YouTube channel that's out there where
you can actually watch some of the intro. So I
bring to you William Shatner introducing this movie.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
There's no line as thin as the one that separates
horror from comedy. What makes a scream can also make
a slab? Would you put a head on this place?
You see grotesque and funny? Not Unlike Carrot Top or
Howard Stern. In Shakespeare's darkest plays, he always included characters

(08:46):
like the Fool or the grave Digger from the Hamlet
to lighten the drama. When Edgar Allan Poe invented the
mystery form with his short story Murders.

Speaker 3 (08:54):
In the Room Morgue, he made sure.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
To include lighter moments to offset the horror. The Bride
of Franken's, made in nineteen thirty five with Boris Karlov,
is considered by many to be the greatest horror film
ever made, but it's also a great comedy thanks to
the rye humor director James Whale. After World War Two,
audiences were ready for flat out comedy mixed with their

(09:17):
monsters Abbott and Costello. Meete Frankenstein proves that great slapstick
and straight horror can exist in the same film.

Speaker 4 (09:24):
Excuse me, mister Shantner is sorry to interrupt you, but my.

Speaker 5 (09:28):
Husband chopped off with the tvn me alive with some
kind of freakin' jos whoa oh wall, you can't do this.
Full Moon promised me a starting role in Ahead of
the Family Part four?

Speaker 3 (09:40):
Are they doing Part four?

Speaker 6 (09:42):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (09:42):
Thank god? I mean, who could sit through that?

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Tonight's quality film is Head of the Family, and it's
in the great tradition of the ec comics of the
nineteen fifties, like Tales from the Crypt and The Vault
of Horror. They all had outrageous characters doing terrible things
to each other, twist endings, and a pulsating monster.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
As the villain. In this case, Ahead in a Journer.
It's a little demented tale with laughs and screams.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
So sit back and enjoy yourself with William Shatner's Full Moon.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Fright Night yes, it is as ridiculous as you think
it would be when it comes to this episode, or
at least the introduction to this movie. Now, Will Will Will,
I can call you Will, right, mister Shatner over there,
this isn't a head in a fucking jar. Okay, Like,
were you even watching this movie? Have you seen it

(10:34):
all the way through? I don't think that you have
at all. Okay, because it is not a goddamn head
and a jar. It's a head in a goddamn wheelchair.
And it's not a small ass fucking head. It's a
giant fucking head. Okay. When it comes to this whole thing, now,

(10:54):
I just and the whole skit is absolutely terrible. General.
He's comparing the comedic like aspects of this, and he's
comparing this to fucking Frankenstein, right, and Abbot and Costello,
meetth dot dot dot dot, whatever the things that are
out there. I get that whole thing. And yeah, I
think that he has a point that people wanted comedy

(11:17):
and their horror, especially after World War Two. They still
wanted all the you know, scary things, but having these
comedic aspects to it lightens the load when it comes
to these types of movies, and I completely agree with him.
But comparing this to goddamn Frankenstein, are you off your
fucking meds?

Speaker 7 (11:36):
Will?

Speaker 1 (11:36):
What the hell is wrong with you? I just don't
get it. So we get that wonderful, wonder fucking intro
from him, and I wonder if he's gonna make a
return appearance at some point during this fucking podcast. I
do also like the fact, though I have to admit it,
when he's doing the intro, he's basically calling the movie
a piece of shit, which has got to They're not

(12:02):
making a four, are they?

Speaker 8 (12:03):
Oh?

Speaker 9 (12:04):
No?

Speaker 1 (12:04):
Oh god, thank god. So it works out perfectly for
what this is. But it's crazy that they like just
the amount of stuff that happens in this movie. It's
funny because you know, Jacqueline Lovell said in twenty seventeen
that this was the only one of her films that

(12:26):
she ever let her daughter, who was sixteen at the time, watch.
She said her daughter was not happy that she was
naked so much and having sex with other men, or
at least another man in the movie, even though she's
not really having sex with it. Like, why wou would
you watch let your daughter watch this movie? Like you know,
if I was in how many movies have you been

(12:46):
completely naked in? But you let your daughter watch this one? Like,
what were the life choices that be? Like, Mom, I
really want to see the movies that you're in. Well,
you know, Mom kind of gets naked all the goddamn time,
and just you know, is like a sex symbol for
these like B horror movies. You know, let's pick the

(13:07):
one where I'm constantly naked and having sex throughout the
entire fucking movie that we've got there, But it's just
it's just weird. I don't know. And then like another
one that they had here when Going Here was like
this movie was bumped from a September nineteen ninety six
release to October, oh, and also in October, and pushed

(13:27):
in November of that year. Okay, what kind of trivia
do we have on this movie other than oh god,
this is really fucking ridiculous. But nonetheless, it's just it's
something that we need to get into, and we need
to get started right away when we get into this movie.
And you can tell right away with the music for
the intro and most of the background music that this

(13:49):
isn't going to be a super serious hardcore horror movie
that this is gonna be very light hearted and it's
going to be you know, at least somewhat entertaining whole
fully because of that, and we'll see how everything goes
as we get into this movie with Head in the
of the Family, oh jeez, I keep want to call
it Head in the Family, but yeah, nonetheless, and then yeah,

(14:12):
even in the Shatner things, there's that stupid joke where
the random clown head he's like, oh, can you put
some head on this beer? And then he takes out
a head you know, well, he takes out a clown
mask and he puts the clown mask on top of
the beer, and it's supposed to be the head. Get it,
because he's putting some head on the beer and he's
got some weird monster thing with him in this thing too.
I guess it's like a full moon mascot or something.

(14:36):
But yeah, that's that's the way the movie is, so
let's just get going. Let's roll with it. Thank you
so much, mister Shatner for the intro to this that
wasn't available on TOO. I really wish it was available
on TOO. Be in the way, but if you watch
it as that on YouTube, right, and it's available for
free with ads and all the other fun stuff unless

(14:58):
you have YouTube Premium, then you don't have to worry
about the ads are they're not sponsored, by the way.
But you know, as much as I use it, sometimes
I feel like I should be. And so let's get
started with Head of the Family and let's see how
much we can get through of this shit show. So
the movie itself begins looking at the Stillborn house and

(15:19):
basically watching them come out like it is the goddamn
Munsters or the Adams Family, you know. Whereas the movie's playing,
all of a sudden, we have Otis and we have Wheeler,
and we have a whore. I mean, what's her name,
Beatrice or some shit like that. I can't even remember
the name of that character because she's just like, I

(15:40):
don't know, she's supposed to be eye candy for what
it is. And her name is actually Ernestina, which again
is just an odd fucking name for whatever it is,
but it's like she's meant to be I don't know.
Everybody has superpowers in this movie, and we'll get into
the scene where they talk about the superpowers that everybody
has and I guess hers is to be like a

(16:02):
sexy horror but she, honestly, fucking Loretta is way cuter
and way hotter than she's ever going to be in anything, Right, Like,
if you're gonna be seduced by Ernestina and you had
Loretta edg your side, you're you're fucking crazy. That That's
all I'm really going to say. And so, uh yeah,

(16:23):
So we see them come out of the house, and
like I said, it's like the goddamn Monsters at the
beginning of it, because there's the long shot at the beginning.
Maybe this is where it was influenced by the monsters
in this type of thing, because we've got the giant
house that's out there that looks like it belongs in
the Monsters, and we have them come out of the
door and they're all like standing there and looking round.

(16:43):
You know, Wheeler's got his like weird sunglasses on. Otis
isn't the cool Otis. He's just a fucking, you know,
dumb giant, like you know that's there. And then, like
I said, we have the horror. It's basically what we've
got there. And good lie. As we get into more
of this movie, it's just gonna get more and more

(17:04):
and more ridiculous. And so from here we go into
town and we get to meet Howard and Loretta and
Lance for the very first time as Howard and Loretta
are busy sitting at the bar, well not the bar,
at the diner, and we have Howard talking to his cohort, Weasel,
and we learned that Howard is kind of like the
gangster of the town even though he's not. He's a biker.

(17:27):
But he also treats his wife Loretta like shit because
she's too busy eating ice cream on the counter. And
that'll call you upsets, poor Howard.

Speaker 10 (17:36):
You understand, billy boy, better play nice with the merchandise.
You tell him, I'm going weigh at on my own
fucking scale. He shorten me again. I'm gonna break his
other arm, sure, how a to him, and you fuck up, Weasel,
I'm gonna break your arm too, showy.

Speaker 11 (17:54):
No, all right, I'm going get out of here.

Speaker 8 (17:58):
Get no, Susie.

Speaker 10 (18:04):
Sometimes I feel like a big old turd and a
small toilet.

Speaker 12 (18:08):
It ever makes you happy, honey, And.

Speaker 11 (18:10):
You go easy on that ice cream.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
Huh.

Speaker 11 (18:13):
He's starting to get all pooci around the middle.

Speaker 12 (18:15):
She's Louise haired. It's fucking as milk.

Speaker 10 (18:18):
Yeah, well, it come out of a cow and it
makes you fat.

Speaker 8 (18:21):
Give a ship?

Speaker 3 (18:22):
What do you call it?

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Look at you, you fat fucking cow. I can't believe
that you're housing down all that fucking ice cream that
you got there in front of your face. You've been
looked like you've been eating that same fucking ice cream
for the last two fucking hours because it's melted as fuck.
In fact, she's right, it's no longer ice cream. It's
just fucking ice milk, is what you've got right there,
because that is primordial soup that you got there that

(18:44):
looks like, well, it doesn't really look like a giz,
but it could possibly be that you're smearing all over
your face and you're just you Look at you, you fatty,
you faty fuck? What are you gonna do over there?
You're gonna get mad at me because you're getting all fat.
You're not gonna be able to chase me down the
road at all. All you doing is game couple extra
pounds around the waist. What do you fucking like ninety
two pounds? Yeah, soon you're gonna be ninety three. If

(19:06):
he keeping all that fucking ice cream with the amount
of shit that is shoveling into your mouth. Oh do
you get sprinkles too?

Speaker 6 (19:12):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Look, Fatty wants sprinkles and fucking chocolate in there. Oh
you're gonna have loose fudge Sunday, little fetty fatty mcfatty face. Yeah,
getting over there, keep eating that fatty. This is the
way that I keep my woman thin. I make sure
that she gets shamed. Eat her goddamn ice cream. No
wonder why she's fucking cheating on you. I mean, I
don't want to really get into that yet, but yeah,

(19:34):
that's where we're going to fucking go. Has it?

Speaker 7 (19:36):
So?

Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yeah, Howard, I guess not so nice of a dude.
But he doesn't really seem like he looks like we
got Dog the bounty hunter at home. In fact, we've
got a couple of people that look like other people
at home, except for I think we've got a role
reversal with one of them. And we can see the
rest of the diner there. It's pretty busy. Lance is
back there behind the counter manning the cash register. We

(19:58):
got Susie over there. She's the nice honey loc that
we got. Sure hon, We'll get you whatever you want. Hon,
I got that hospitality of the southern waitress around here.
We're gonna make sure we get all things cleaned up.
Oh is your horror over here? Gonna need more of
this ice cream? That fat bitch over there at the counter.
I'll make sure she doesn't have any more. Do you
want me to throw it at her face? Hunt that

(20:21):
way that she knows that you mean business. And I
know how much you love everything that's around here, and
you want to keep your women nice and fucking thin.
Don't worry about it. Everything'll be okay. I'm just gonna
stand back here. Why you keep calling your wife a whore?
It's just Oh God, I love stereotypes and Charles Benn movies.

(20:41):
I love them so goddamn much. Like do you think
that the movies he makes nowadays are very similar to
the movies that they used to make back in the day,
Like I don't think a lot of these movies could
be made, and I can't wait to watch the next one.
But nonetheless, so that's when the stillborings come out. They
also use a lot of fun and smoke and fog
in this movie, Like it's really ridiculous the amount that

(21:05):
they use, because like they literally come in from the fog,
and it's like, where where did all this fucking smoke
come from? We were just sitting here enjoying our fucking meal.
You know. I got some nice fried chicken and some
grits over here. Yeah, we got some grits. We're gonna
have that up and it's gonna be delicious. I never
really had grits even when I was in the South,

(21:27):
So that's something that I should really look into having,
at least trying once. Is it easy to make? Does
anybody have a good recipe for grits that I could follow?
You know, feels like something that everybody should try once
because it just kind of looks like gravy with lumps
of flour in it. I'm not exactly sure if that's
the right thing that I'm thinking about, but you know,

(21:49):
I'd rather just have biscuits and gravy rather than having grits.
But I'll get my grits if I need to. Yeah,
get yourself some nice little grits over there, Fatty, what
I'm losing weight? Okay, Nah, Yeah that's right, Nea, Fatty Podcaster. Yeah,
you get you some of you. Those grits feel that
little tummy up. No, no, really, I've been counting calories

(22:11):
and making sure that I lose the weight because I
don't want to be called fatty fatty cup podcaster anymore. Well,
that's too bad. You can get your grits and then
I'm gonna get you some sausage and gravy. You like that, biscuits, sausage, gravy.
Oh what other type of like big fat stuff I
can get for you, Fatty? Okay, I won't try the grits,

(22:32):
promise I won't. I won't make them. Yeah, that's right.
That's the way we're gonna keep you on line, Fatty. Okay,
go back to your podcast. Okay. I was talking about
the smoke. Is that okay? Is that okay? Then I
talk about the smoke. Yeah, as long as you're not
eating it? Oh is it making you hungry? Oh? Yeah,
you're gonna be fatter than you were a little while ago,

(22:52):
weren't you, weren't you? Okay, I'm gonna go back talking
about the smoke, all right, all right? Nonetheless, So yeah,
there's just a ton of fucking smoke all over the
goddamn place, and it just appears in the most random scenes,
like nobody's smoking, nobody's like there isn't a random fog machine.
We didn't have like some band out there. We didn't

(23:13):
have a guy all oiled up playing the fucking saxophone.
Nothing's going on in these scenes. Yet there's a ton
of smoke. So they all come up to the counter
and the present lance over here with a list of
things that they need to do. And that's when, of course,
ernest Dina. I'm never gonna get that fucking name down.
By the way, I'm surprised that I even remembered it
for this A little bit, you know, catches the eye

(23:35):
of Howard over there, and he talks about, you know,
how nice and delectable that she is, and how fuckable
she is.

Speaker 8 (23:43):
Grochrees, oh right, Ray.

Speaker 6 (23:51):
Filled it out for this tech fools.

Speaker 3 (23:53):
For you.

Speaker 11 (23:56):
Are you doing, Ernestina?

Speaker 6 (24:01):
Y'all go with Ray. He'll take care of you.

Speaker 11 (24:09):
See you around. Ernestina.

Speaker 10 (24:13):
That is, without question, the most fuckable young lady I
ever seen outside of magazine.

Speaker 11 (24:20):
Hell, don't bother me, she's a retard.

Speaker 13 (24:22):
Well, the way I hear it, the only way to
get to Ernestina is it you go through a brother.

Speaker 6 (24:27):
Otis You don't think i'd take on that big dummy.
Oh hell no, I just want to be around when
you do it. Yeah, well, already got me a sweet
little chicken.

Speaker 11 (24:41):
And you know how I feel about what's that word?

Speaker 6 (24:45):
Fucking?

Speaker 10 (24:46):
No, watch your mouth the other one where you don't
be sleeping around.

Speaker 12 (24:50):
Fidelity?

Speaker 6 (24:52):
Yeah, that's it, like on the mold, high fines. High fidelity.

Speaker 11 (24:57):
That's what I go for.

Speaker 12 (24:59):
What a man, what a brain heart? And moa Howard,
But I'm going to go to the ladies room.

Speaker 11 (25:04):
No, why don't you just talk up? Let everybody know
about it.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Okay, So fidelity and again, like the whole thing I mean,
I swear to god, every line out of Loretta's mouth
has something to do with fucking in one way or
her being like kind of an idiot, right, like being
a stereotypical blonde in the way that she's doing it.

(25:29):
But she's not always like that, And honestly, she's a
relatively smart character. Like I'm not giving her the full
benefit of the doubt, okay, but in general she's not
necessarily dumb. But she gets blonde moments, if you know
what I mean. Right, But every time, like the dialogue's

(25:51):
got to go somewhere to sex in some way, shape
or form, Like there is no other thing that she
does other than just to be fucked in this movie,
like in some way, shape or form, Like she's got
to show off her tits or she's got to be
taking off her panties, so she's got to be flashing
her ass, or she's got to be talking about fucking,
or she's got to be fucked, or she's got to

(26:12):
be thinking about fucking, or she's gonna be fucking something somewhere,
some way, somehow, Like that is the reason that she's there.
And then you've also got Lance, as you can guess
in a second, her and Lance have kind of a
thing going on. And normally this is what would be
where I say, you know, Lance looks like we have
something at home, but in honesty, like Lance honestly looks like,

(26:34):
you know, kid Rock looks like we have Lance at home. Right.
I originally thought he kind of looks like kid Rock,
But I'm like, wait a second, he was kid Rock
before kid Rock, So kid Rock looks like Lance we
have at home. So you know, he's a generally good
looking dude in in terms of the world of this
movie in comparison to we have Dog the Bounty and

(26:56):
Hunter at Home Howard that we have over here. And so,
you know, as Loretta goes off to the bathroom, to which,
of course, you know, Howard is just like, why you
gotta announce that shit to the world because you gotta
go to the bathroom, Like she's literally telling you I
have to go pee, Like, let her go fucking pee.
And so Lance follows her to the back, and then
we follow her and Lance to the back as we

(27:17):
see them fucking, and we see about how she's talking
about how Lance fills her up so much better than
good old Howard does, and they're just going back and forth.
And again, a majority of the dialogue in this movie
between Lance and Loretta is when they're fucking, like and
he's just going to fucking town. I mean, she's against

(27:37):
the fucking you know, shelfing that's back there, her pants
are pulled down. He you know, doesn't bother to pull
his pants down at all. He just unzips his fucking fly,
steps his dick out, and sticks it in there. So
they're just having unprotected sex the entire time, like there's
no room for a fucking condom. And I'm surprised she
hasn't been fucking knocked up yet, because you know, as

(27:59):
much as they're going at it, he has to constantly
be fucking filling her up every goddamn time, right, and
this is not the only time that this is gonna
happen in this movie. I thought, you know, right away,
I was told there was going to be a lot
of TNA in this movie. I didn't realize that ten
minutes in the movie they were just gonna be straight
up fucking the entire movie. Right, I'm like, great, this

(28:22):
is a Charles Band movie. This is the way that
things are gonna go. This is gonna be more and
the more like hyper sexualized Charles Band movies that are
out there. But that's the way it is. And so
they're busy fucking in the back room, and that's when
Howard decides he needs to go out looking for you know,
his Loretta. And there's a whole thing between them too.
While they're fucking, he calls her Loretta Lance does and

(28:44):
then she's not no, call me Scott, like okay, like
is this gone with the wind type thing? Like you
think you're like a Southern bell that or their house
is gonna burn down sometime. You're gonna be slapped in
the face by him, you know where he's gonna tell
her that he doesn't give nam like is that you're
Clark Gable. You never call him Clark, You never call
him whatever the fuck is name in the movie, you

(29:05):
know how you never remember what the main character of
Clark Gable's character is and gone with a win. And
I'm pretty sure there's gonna be some people out there
they're gonna be telling me, oh, well, it's Joe. You know,
I don't fucking remember it's just Clark fucking Gable. But
I can remember Scarlett. I can remember that character's name perfectly. Well,
I don't necessarily remember the actress. And I bet you

(29:25):
it's a really famous actress, you know that's out there
that everybody's gonna yell at me at oh it's so
and so, And I'm gonna be like, fuck, why didn't
I ever remember that? But AnyWho, you know, Howard is getting,
you know, annoyed that she's taken so long. She must
have the smallest bladder in the world. As she goes
into the back. As he goes in the back to
find her, and then fortunately enough for both Lance and
fucking you know Loretta back here, they're no longer fucking.

(29:48):
But Lance is holding the box in front of his junk.
I guess he had to stick his dick in the box,
and uh, you know, because that's the way he's showing
that he loves her, right, you know, the surprise that
he's supposed to be getting. You give him dick in
the box. That's the way it goes, so, you know,
and what if Howard decides at that point he's like, oh, hey,
you got some beer that you've got there, and decides
to open up the beer and then there's this fucking
dick just lying out there, and he's gonna be like,

(30:11):
was this for me? Was this? Was this the present
that I wanted? How did you know you really loved me? Lance?
Don't you? Don't you? Lance? I'll leaf Loretta for you
anything you want for me. Lance, you just gave me
your dick in a box. And it makes me feel
so much better. And it's weird too, because like he
after Howard in them leaves, he puts it down. You know.
Of course I don't intend to see any genitalia in

(30:34):
this movie, though. Things could fucking surprise me at some
point later in this movie that I don't see a
random cock somewhere in this movie, but like he just
doesn't really have anything going on down there. Like his
fly was open and that's about it. And then he
like stuffs his shirt back into his you know pants,
and then zips up his fly. And we go back

(30:55):
to the next night, well until that evening, I guess,
as he's doing paperwork and that's when it comes over
to him and he tells him that, hey, Howard wants
to talk to you Lance, Lance, M.

Speaker 12 (31:12):
Howard asked to see you.

Speaker 6 (31:15):
Howard asked to see you? Well, oh, what exactly did
he say?

Speaker 14 (31:24):
He said, go get Lance Ram over here and move
your poachy buns? M.

Speaker 6 (31:33):
Did he seem upset?

Speaker 12 (31:35):
Well, I can't say that he did, But then he
never does. Shoot Lance. He hain't that far to the
back of the restaurant, not much of a head start.
If you get my drift.

Speaker 6 (31:47):
Okay, Rid, Okay, we'll just play.

Speaker 12 (31:53):
Cool cool, right, cucumber.

Speaker 15 (32:02):
Compress the bolt spring while holding the front.

Speaker 10 (32:07):
And flush fuck all frigging bolt springs.

Speaker 11 (32:14):
Well, Lance into pants, Lance, and look at this thing.
Try to save some money.

Speaker 10 (32:20):
It's a fucking waste of man's time. Buy the thing
in pieces, have to assemble it yourself.

Speaker 11 (32:26):
Save a couple of seas. Shit, Well, sit your ass.

Speaker 6 (32:31):
Down right, sure?

Speaker 8 (32:33):
How Lance?

Speaker 11 (32:38):
You know what I'll be thinking?

Speaker 6 (32:39):
Well?

Speaker 11 (32:40):
Now what you're doing standing there? You're serving tables around here?

Speaker 6 (32:45):
Oh?

Speaker 11 (32:45):
I just what did you do to park?

Speaker 6 (32:47):
You?

Speaker 11 (32:47):
Mush you old butt down here next to Lance. He
ain't got no cooties, have you? Lance?

Speaker 6 (32:52):
No? Nothing?

Speaker 10 (32:54):
I think Lance, I'm gonna make this short and sweet,
kind of like Loretta here, except she's so short.

Speaker 13 (33:01):
Really Okay, now, Howard, I don't know what you've been
hearing Aaron about?

Speaker 6 (33:07):
What? Nothing?

Speaker 11 (33:09):
You don't know what I've been hearing about? Nothing? What
the hell you talking about?

Speaker 8 (33:14):
Uh?

Speaker 6 (33:16):
I mean shit, Howard? You know I don't have clue one?
What the hell I'm talking about?

Speaker 13 (33:22):
You know what?

Speaker 11 (33:23):
I think? You need to take it easy? You're looking poorly?
Hit that right, Loretta?

Speaker 12 (33:29):
Yeah, looks like he's got the flu flu.

Speaker 11 (33:33):
What the fucking flu got to do with it? Huh?

Speaker 6 (33:36):
You need to get.

Speaker 10 (33:36):
Yourself out of here, Go get yourself laid once in
a blue moon. Hell, you ain't got no natural charm,
but shit, even a little shrimp with that radi old
beard like yours could at least pay for it once.

Speaker 11 (33:47):
In a while.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
Oh that's great advice there, Howard. You know what you
need to do. You need to go out there and
get laid. You look like you're having problems over here.
Meanwhile he's fucking your wife and you don't really realize it.
And they're all freaked out because he could possibly be,
you know, found out, and that Howard is gonna be
his fucking skulling. I get it, and I love the
whole thing too. What you know about anything? Nothing? I

(34:08):
don't know nothing. See, you got problems. You know what
it is. You need to go get late. Maybe you
get yourself somebody like Loretta over here. You can get
her nice little spot. Maybe, you know, every once in
a while, you could bring her to this lovely establishment.
You can go in the back room and you actually
just fuck every once in a while. Who cares about
the customers? You just bring her into the back. If

(34:29):
you get somebody that looks exactly like Lretta, right, not
my Loretta, by the way, you can't be go fucking
her because we've got that what that that we're to
get in the honey high fidelity that we got going
on over here. See if you did that, then you
know I'd have to kill you. But you're not fucking
my wife. But you find somebody exactly like her, her build,

(34:50):
her breast size, her butt size, her kouchie, all that stuff.
In fact, you know what, I think we could build
you a reel doll based upon Loretta. I mean, she
seems to be constantly your time. I mean, you guys
are always hanging out with each other, randomly going off
into weird dark places with one another. When she's in
the back saying she's going to pee, she's actually not

(35:13):
in the back there going to pee. She's in the
staff room for some reason, peeing in there rather than
just peening in the normal ladies room. And everything smells
like sex when I go back there. But you know,
I know you guys ain't fucking because you know, smell
of sex. Well, I don't know who's fucking because you
obviously aren't with your you know, kid rock looking ass

(35:36):
is sitting over there. Uh oh no, no, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. You don't look like kid Rock. Kid Rock
looks like you. I get it, I get it, Kid
Rock don't fucking exist right now. Okay, I totally understand then,
you know, but still nonetheless, I mean, you ain't getting
anything with a face looking like that, your hair all
slicked back, and thinking that you're all smart and shit,

(35:57):
even though you run this restaurant and probably most of
the town. You make you know, almost as much money
as I do, but not quite. I mean, you could
be making a lot more money. That's there. And there's
no way that somebody is as attractive as Loretta well,
I mean she's not like super attractive that one. Uh
you know, Ernestina chick. Now she looks way hotter than

(36:19):
Loretta does, and there's no way that you'd be able
to get in Ernestina, okay, even though she looks like,
you know, like a blow up doll from the eighties.
You know, you know the type that I'm talking about,
the one that they keep trying to like push off
in those uh what what do you call them? Honey?
What type of maggots is are?

Speaker 6 (36:35):
You know?

Speaker 1 (36:35):
The ones that I like to look at every once
in a while when we're fucking because I don't like
the look of you in any one bit, and I
treat you like trash m is it the the play
play Yeah, that's right, the playboys, the playboys. She looks
like one of the playboy girls that are out there,
one of those uh, you know, corn flicks or whatever
you want to call them. Like, what can't you just

(36:57):
say porn? I mean, it's pornography. Ex it's not a
bad word, you know, just to say. Now, I don't
want anybody come after me because I'm here in the
past when I could say porn instead of thinking, why
the fuck am I saying corn? You know, Jesus Christ,
what the fuck is wrong with me? I don't even
realize you too, are fucking. I mean, you guys probably

(37:19):
are fucking, but I don't think that you're fucking because
we've got that high fidelity going on over here. But
so you don't have to worry about that type of shit,
you know, high fidelity doesn't mean what you think it means.
But I'm gonna stay out of this and just continue.
So yeah, it's it just seems ridiculous. He's business sitting
there at the table, he's putting together a gun because
it's cheaper if you went and bought his own gun

(37:39):
and put it together. Like where where do you find that,
like even back in the nineties, where where do you
find that? Is it just some random like soldier of
Fortune magazine that you got back there? He just randomly
got a subscription, and then the back pages of that
instead of finding the you know, the normal back pages
where you'd find the horse, you find the guns that
you can buy and put together yourself. Is it like

(38:00):
he peace mailed it, you know, ordered by mail, piece
by piece and finally got the instructions on the last
order that came through, and he started putting that shit
like together. I don't really know, but I'm not asking
for a friend or anything like that. I just want
to know how he would have gotten a gun in
pieces that he would have to put together. Now I

(38:21):
understand if he's cleaning it and he's just like getting
it better, and that's what I thought he was doing.
He just had his piece over the table. I'm gonna
clean it and I gotta put together back together. And man,
this thing is the son of a bitch. No, he's
literally building a gun from fucking scratch and he manages
to eventually do it. So let's let's continue the conversation
that they've got going on for here because Howard does

(38:41):
have a deal for lance.

Speaker 11 (38:42):
And that's where I come in. I'm sorry, I was
That's what I want to talk to you about.

Speaker 10 (38:50):
How much you make in this place, saying a week
or something, I don't.

Speaker 6 (38:55):
Know, kind of depends.

Speaker 11 (38:58):
Figure about there a grand a week?

Speaker 6 (39:02):
Huh No, No, not half that much.

Speaker 11 (39:04):
I bet you want to know why?

Speaker 16 (39:08):
Why?

Speaker 12 (39:08):
Because you spread yourself too thin.

Speaker 10 (39:11):
That's why y'all pale and kind of sicky, ugly looking.

Speaker 11 (39:16):
But here I am. I gonna save your skinny ass.

Speaker 6 (39:20):
Oh gee, Howard, Actually, Lancey Pansy.

Speaker 10 (39:24):
What you need is partner, you know, and kind of
ease a strain. And I'm looking to diversify, you.

Speaker 11 (39:34):
Know what I mean. It means it means that I
share the burden.

Speaker 9 (39:39):
I be partner, shared share a like hell, yes, you
still have to be doing most of the day to
day stuff partners sure, I mean.

Speaker 10 (39:50):
I've been partnering up with businesses all over town.

Speaker 11 (39:53):
Did Joey down to hardware store?

Speaker 10 (39:56):
Ben Boffo's Washerama, I'm in a regular what's that word?

Speaker 12 (40:03):
Shakedown artist, Loretta.

Speaker 10 (40:06):
If I didn't love that big old behind yours so much,
I'd pack you on your worst fucking nightmare entrepreneur.

Speaker 11 (40:14):
This is a fucking entrepreneur. Son, I'm gonna.

Speaker 10 (40:19):
Come here and bring my talents to bear right here
at the shop and stop.

Speaker 11 (40:22):
How's that for good news?

Speaker 6 (40:25):
Actually, Howard now now, no need to thank me.

Speaker 11 (40:28):
It's my pleasure. And don't worry about no paperwork either.
Whenever you get it done with. Just backdated to right now. Ilujah.

Speaker 15 (40:42):
I see just a little uh what that word brains?

Speaker 11 (40:47):
No persistence?

Speaker 8 (40:50):
Can I tell you something?

Speaker 10 (40:50):
I betta you're getting in some need of serious attitude adjustment.

Speaker 11 (40:55):
Sometime I end be a single white boy.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
Oh, don't worry. I'm pretty sure he's gonna be single
relatively soon. And you find out that the two of
them are fucking over there. So Howard's big like plan
that he's got going on over here is that he's
gonna run his business out of this place and that
he's gonna shave a little off the top and give
it over Howard and they're gonna become business partners lack
over here. And again I love the random smoke that

(41:21):
also shows up in the scene, like it'll literally switch
over them for the reaction shot as you know they're
talking to Howard and then there's just a bunch of
random smoke back there, right, And these sets are definitely
in some type of like warehouse or some bullshit like that,
because they're the cheapest sets to known to goddamn man,
like they managed to maybe maybe this is actually filmed

(41:41):
inside of a diner. I don't really fucking know. But
when you get over to like the bedroom shots for
where they're like in the bedroom of Lance and then
at one point in the bedroom of Loretta, like it
looks like the same goddamn bedroom, just with a different
bed in the middle of it, in the most cheaply
designed sets known to fucking man, Like all their budget
went to the house of the Stillborns, and maybe this

(42:03):
diner here when they're trying to do stuff on location, right,
and so he's got his big plan, he's just like, well,
you're gonna do it, and don't worry about it. We'll
sign the papers later. Because you know, Lance is basically
a punk of some sorts. So he leaves them there together,
tells a Loretta to get her shit together and let's go,
and we fade over into the next night where we

(42:25):
have you know, the waitress from behind the counter basically
tell Lance, Hey, you know what, you got a problem,
and your problem is a fucking problem. You're fucking Loretta
too much, and eventually it's gonna catch up to you
and you're gonna find yourself dead, to where he basically
calls her kuchie a goddamn firecracker that he can't leave alone. Like,

(42:47):
I don't know, are are some couchies that fucking good
that they feel like they're gonna blow off your dick,
and you want to keep sticking your dick inside that
kuchi so that way that your dick gets blown up.
I mean, if I want my dick fucking blown off,
I just call fucking RoboCop and have him blow it
off for me with his goddamn gun. I don't need
a koochy to do that for me, Okay, Like it's

(43:10):
that much of an explosive feeling that every time that
you fucking giz inside that kouchi, boom, your dick fucking
explodes and you gotta rewind time like your fucking Superman
run around the world, go backwards, and now my dick's
back so you can experience a dick explosion of a
fucking kouchi that you want. I don't. It blows my
fucking mind right now. And in my mind I actually

(43:32):
mean my brain and not my fucking dick. Okay, don't
fucking go there with that. So so after he gets
a lecture from the waitress, then we go back to
what of course, Loretta Lance fucking this time she's completely
fucking naked, and he still got his suit on. Luckily,
he's got his you know, no shirt open, but he's
got his pants on because you know, there's no fossil

(43:53):
way that he could fuck without his pants. Maybe that's
one of his things that he's got going on. His
kinks and you know, I ain't gonna fucking kink shame
anybody that's there. But we've talked about this before. How
in the hell do you just fuck with your pants on?
I get it, it gonna happen. You want to do
it quickie. You know, you're out in the parking garage
late at night, your lady's there or your dude's there,

(44:14):
and they're just looking really fucking hot, and you just
want to fucking lift up the skirt or pull down
the pants for a second, and you just want to
get your fucking dick wet. I get it. You just
zip down, you do it whatever. I could see it
more with a beach than anything else. But like, how
can you just you're in the back of a car,
like it's okay, pull your fucking pants down. What you're

(44:36):
worried you're gonna get shit stains in the back of
your car. You're not wiping well enough back there. Like, hell,
if we're gonna fuck like this, I want to make
sure at least if I'm gonna leave a Hershey's staying,
I'm gonna leave it in my goddamn drawers and not
leave it in the goddamn car, right, I just I
guess that's just me when it comes to doing these
types of things. So, you know, once again he's talking

(44:56):
to her, you know, like, well, when's Howard going to
be back? Oh, he's out of town. I don't worry
about it. He's not gonna be back to like midnight
or something like that. We can just keep fucking for
a while. And again, Loretta is fucking hot. It doesn't
matter what it is. She's really cute. You got a
nice banging body. If I had to see only one
set of tena in this movie, I'm perfectly fine with

(45:17):
it being Loretta's. But again, sometimes too much of a
good thing is too goddamn much when it comes to
this movie. So they're fucking they're talking about when Howard's
gonna come back, and then we cut over to the
stillborns and we see and I laughed my ass off
during the scene because I thought it was something different.
But we see Wheeler and Otis. They're hanging out there,
and Wheeler's looking around. Then Otis, I didn't realize at

(45:40):
the first thing. I thought he was trying to like
sneak across and maybe he was like they were like
looking at you know, Loretta and Lance fucking in the car,
and he was gonna try to like be all stealth
like because he wanted to be like, you know, I'm
gonna be voyeuristic Otis, don't get none, Niver, and I'm
gonna be watch pretty girl over here get her ass
fucking rammed to death. So I thought that he was

(46:01):
like carrying a bush and pretending to hide behind the bush.
But what they're doing is they're setting up a road trap, right,
and so he's grabbing a gate that has and if
you don't know that this is a goddamn trap and
it's so fucking stupid the way that it's done. In
the next little scene, so like it obviously looks like
it's not meant to be like this. They're trying to

(46:23):
hide in a way and saying that, like, oh, look,
it's a bunch of bushes and you just were gonna
lay But there's a giant fucking gap on the right
side of the goddamn like road that's there that you
could easily just drive around, and it doesn't completely cover
the road and make it look like it's completely blocked off.
So when this hunk a love car comes by, that's

(46:45):
the license plate that the guy has in the back
of his truck, and he could easily just drive around it. Instead,
he looks at it like, oh, I guess I go
to turn because all these bushes are here in the way,
So we'll turn off into the middle of nowhere, and
we'll go out into the forest, because where I'm supposed
to fucking go. So he drives off into the distance,
and of course something bad is gonna happen to him.

(47:07):
We cut back over the car and we see that
Lance and Loretta are talking about often how oh it's.

Speaker 6 (47:12):
A problem, all right, it's a problem.

Speaker 12 (47:15):
Now, see what the problem is. You just hang around
out back the trailer park week till he walks by.

Speaker 4 (47:21):
Pop kp'n Big said, well, it.

Speaker 6 (47:23):
Ain't the doing it. It's hard. It's getting away with
it now.

Speaker 13 (47:28):
No matter how he cut it or slice it, how
it turns up with a bullet, somebody's gonna be looking
in our directions.

Speaker 14 (47:34):
Lance, you're too smart as all, got to make things complicated.

Speaker 6 (47:38):
Now.

Speaker 12 (47:38):
Everybody hates him, and everybody give.

Speaker 14 (47:40):
A cheer if he turned up dead to just do it,
you know, if you don't, one day's gonna.

Speaker 8 (47:46):
Do it to the both of us.

Speaker 12 (47:47):
And that's God fear in.

Speaker 6 (47:48):
Fact, Yeah, I know, I know. It's holy shit.

Speaker 17 (47:57):
What the hell he must took any.

Speaker 13 (48:02):
There ain't no turns off this highway. Would you look
at this? Some sort of fence or something. Somebody dragged
this across the road, That's what it is. This goddamn
stupid to him, Oh this is some kind of weird bullshit.

Speaker 6 (48:26):
That's road to Stackpool place. I'm gonna go check that out.
You waiting a.

Speaker 12 (48:32):
Car, Lands, You be careful, now.

Speaker 6 (48:35):
Careful is my credo. Wait in the car.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
So yeah, he realized that that's there, and he knows
the lay of the land unlike the other dude, so
you can kind of excuse him for like going left,
but it does go into the middle of fucking nowhere,
And why would you just go into the middle of
fucking nowhere in the middle of the night instead of
look around and see, like, well, this gate thing doesn't
kite cover the rest of the road. Maybe I could
go around, Let's see if there's something out there. Stop

(49:01):
the car, check around. Nope, do do do I'm just
gonna go to the life. I'm just gonna drive off
to the side, and I would be okay, don't worry
about it, even though it goes in the middle of
nowhere where there's nothing that possibly could happen to me.
Oh yeah, what you can be do is pulled out
of your car and then have your head spashed against
the side of the truck and then dragged in the
random house, which is what Lance sees when he goes

(49:22):
and checks over the Stillborn residence. And it's weird to
me because, like in the beginning of the film, it
looks like the Stillboard residence is on a street, right.
It looks like it's just a normal fucking street in
the middle of nowhere, like this is the burbs, or
it's like people under the stairs or whatever. It just
happens to be a creepy house, or to put it

(49:43):
even lightli or the monsters right where. It's just out there.
It just happens to be the house on the street.
But no, according to this, it's in the middle of
fucking nowhere. There's a dirt road that leads up to it.
That's not the shot at the beginning of the goddamn movie.
It's the shot that's here now o I what what
the fuck? What the actual fuck is going on here?

(50:05):
Like continuity, people cont a fuckuity, like make sure that
it actually is the same shit. But nonetheless, so Lance
witnesses them beating the shit out of this guy notices
the license plate on the back of the truck, and
then he decides that he's gonna come up with an
idea because when he gets back to the car and

(50:25):
the fact that they want to go ahead and off,
Howard and honestly Loretta I think has the better plan ultimately,
which just like hey, he leaves the house, get your
goddamn gun, pop a cap in his fucking ass, leave
him to die. Nobody's gonna give a shit about him, because, honestly,
if he's the big bad gangster around here and he

(50:47):
the people, like the police find him dead with a
bullet in the back of his head, they're gonna be like,
case fucking closed. Somebody just wanted him fucking dead, and
we're just gonna deal with it. They're not gonna run
things back to Loretta, and they're not gonna think something
foul is going on. You think that if a major
criminal in your town, they're maybe gonna look around for

(51:07):
a little bit, like, oh, hey, we want to make
sure there's no gang wars that are going around here.
But like, how hard do Like, you know, if movies
have taught me anything, which I shouldn't be listening to
fucking movies, When a giant criminal boss like this get hit,
gets killed, they're just kind of like cool, like there's
nothing we can do about it. Honestly, has to be

(51:28):
a hit from somewhere. You know, the guy was a
bad dude. The guy was a huge fucking gangster, So
why are we even gonna fucking worry about him. We're
gonna investigate it, uh wink, wink, hint hint, And then
We're just gonna leave it be, and nobody's gonna really
give a shit about it, especially in like a small
po down town wherever this takes place. And I think

(51:49):
this takes place somewhere in Florida, just based apart like
on the license place that you see out there. So hell,
just go behind him, bust a cap in his ass,
give him in a pool of his own blood. Then
wait a month or two, get together with Loretta, and
just leave fucking town and be done with it. Nobody's
gonna go after them. You were just consoling the poor

(52:12):
lost wife. And then you guys disappear forever from this little,
small potent community. And what are they gonna do? Get
the FBI on you, right, they're gonna call up, well,
we think that these two killed this major like criminal
in our town, and they're just gonna leave it as it. Oh,
well he got hit by another rival, you know, gangster
or criminal or where the fuck you want to call it.

(52:34):
And it's a close case said and done. He's just
fucking dead. We couldn't find the weapon. Even if they
found the weapon, they wouldn't be able to trace the
weapon back anyway, and just be like whatever, we don't
give a shit. Like if Lance thinks he's so goddamn
smart in the way that he acts and portrays himself
in this goddamn movie, he could have easily just fucking

(52:54):
killed Howard and been done with it. That's all I'm
really trying to say. So Lance goes back over to
the car after seeing what he sees and tells Loretta that,
you know, we do need to get the fuck out
of here, and then they just drive around the fucking
gate as well as they fucking leave, and he believes
that he has a plan that he could set in motion,

(53:14):
but he's got to figure things out first. So we
cut back over to a day or two later, I'm
not exactly sure the timeframe. It is, as he goes
into the restaurant that he owns and he runs into
the waitress who's mad at him because she hasn't seen
him for a while, thinking that Howard fucking killed his ass,
And basically he starts to set up his plan, which
is going to involve the stillborns.

Speaker 12 (53:35):
We're in the kill. If you be an in cen use,
it's the day before yesterday.

Speaker 6 (53:39):
Not to worry Susie, my dear, we're on my.

Speaker 18 (53:41):
Backside, me and Raven running this place alone.

Speaker 12 (53:46):
Shoot, glance, I thought somebody would.

Speaker 4 (53:48):
Rink a mom on what was left to you?

Speaker 13 (53:50):
Well, I just had a little business to attend to
out of town, very important business. It's going to make
all the difference. Everything's going to be peaches and cream
from here. Eh, perfect time. And see that's exactly what
I was looking for.

Speaker 6 (54:04):
LANs.

Speaker 4 (54:05):
Didn't you mess with them?

Speaker 8 (54:06):
Staff?

Speaker 6 (54:06):
Fools mess with them. I ain't gonna mess with him, Huney,
it's business. Well, hey there, Wheeler, otis Ernestiner.

Speaker 13 (54:16):
Look, I was wondering if I could, Well, I was
wondering if I could talk to you for just a second.

Speaker 6 (54:21):
So hold on right there. All right, that's fine.

Speaker 13 (54:24):
You want to act like a bunch of retards, go ahead.

Speaker 6 (54:26):
But I know what you're up to, you hear me.

Speaker 13 (54:29):
I know about that fly trip you got set up
across the road, and oh, Otis man, I know.

Speaker 6 (54:32):
What you did to that truck. Hunkle up.

Speaker 13 (54:34):
Unless you want me to go to the law with this,
I suggest you talk to me, because well you're gonna
talk to me sooner or later. All right, you want
to play rough the way you did with Hunkle, Well,
I wouldn't do that, Abous.

Speaker 6 (54:47):
You you want to go to jail? You move it?
It all all right? Now, what are you gonna have
to talk to me?

Speaker 4 (55:01):
Sooner or later?

Speaker 6 (55:03):
Book on that.

Speaker 1 (55:04):
Now, before we get into the scene, there is one
thing that I forgot to talk about before this actually happens,
is that we do go into the house and we
see what happens with the guy that you know we're
gonna call hunk a Love that's there where he's put
onto an operating table, and we hear the voice of
Myron for the very first time, but we don't get
to see him just yet. Right, and Myron is going

(55:26):
to be the head of the family now spoiler alert,
the poster shows him, right, it'd be great if the
poster doesn't and you don't see him. I think even
in the trailers you actually see him as well. And
if everything was just kind of like hidden and you
don't actually like know who this guy is, it would
be a better reveal than what we get, which is

(55:46):
supposed to be. I guess, as William Shatner put it,
the big twist that's in this movie as we find
out exactly who the head of the family is, and
so he's put onto the operating table. He's held down
by otis and they put an oxygen mask on top
of him as he's knocked out. And then we go
into like their underground dungeon where we see a bunch
of other people that they have operated on. Right, we

(56:09):
see this woman go by all these different people and
we see that they're all in bandages and they're wearing
different like you know, flocks, and it looks like, you know,
surprisingly enough, it looks like one of the hospital gowns
I was wearing, which that really worries me on who
my actual doctor was when it came to the surgery
I just had. Was it Myron? I really don't know,

(56:32):
and I really hope it wasn't, because I'm here at least,
and I'm not like in some underground like sex dungeon
or whatever you want to say that's there. But it
looks like they've all had different portions of them operated on. Right,
And there's one girl that's in the back and the
only thing that she can say is snow, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow.

(56:57):
What the fuck do you mean by snow? Like you're
talking about, like cocaine. Is that what you're talking about?
Like did they hockey up on something? Is that the
way that the pain when they were working on you
or did they even do that at all? Because I
definitely don't see one of the other guys running as
asthesier around there or anything like that, Like they don't
have the line of prof of all that you're gonna
go on. You're not gonna go on prop the fall
airlines and then fly away for a little while and

(57:18):
totally knock out and then wake up in the middle
of nowhere trying to leave the hospital bed. I mean,
I really don't get what's going on on, but we
don't really know what exactly type of experiments or surgeries
or whatever the fuck they're doing in this place down there.
But eventually, of course we're going to find out. And
that's when we go back over into the cafe at

(57:39):
the good old stop and Shop in wonder Rama or
wherever it's called, and we see him get ready as
he runs outside and runs into the stillborns out there,
trying to get their attention and trying to like talk
to them about what he saw and what he needs
because eventually you know, the plot's gonna go is that

(57:59):
they're gonna use or he's gonna try to use the
stillborns to get rid of Howard so that way that
he and Loretta can be better. So Otis does grab
him by the throat and like almost chokes him out,
but eventually he drops them under the threat of them
being like involved with the police and telling him what's
gonna be going on there. And it's at this point

(58:22):
that I become to like really like the Lance character, right,
and in general I like the acting in this movie.
I think it's cheesy. I think it's sometimes really over
the top. You know, Otis is meant to be played
like a dumb, big, lumbering idiot, and it's perfectly fine.
And the way he does it Henrietta whatever, Ernestina. Sorry,

(58:45):
I'm about to call her fucking Henrietta. See I can't
remember that fucking name. Why do you choose a name
like Ernestina? Why? Why? Why would you do that type
of thing to me? Like that name makes no sense,
Like you thought it was gonna be boys, so they
called it ernest Why does everybody else have like relatively
fine names? Myron, at least it's something different, but it's
easy to fucking remember Wheeler. Okay, weird, but you get it.

(59:10):
Otis House of Thousand Corpses like sets me up for perfectly,
so I can remember fucking Otis. But Ernest fucking Tina,
Like who names their daughter that I don't know? Like
that just sounds like they're taking a page out of
George Foreman. Then want to name all of his kids George.
Then all of a sudden he had a girl. Holy shit,
what the fuck am I gonna do? I want to

(59:32):
call my kids George because they all should be related
to me and somehow, and they all should be named
George because it's easy to remember all of them. But
now I have a daughter, What am I gonna call her?
I know, Georgina, that's what we're gonna do. And so
they wanted to call it Ernest, but out instead of
a fucking penis when they pulled out the baby. Oh shit,
that's goddamn vagina. I already had them right down, Ernest.

(59:52):
Let's just add Tina to the end of the goddamn name,
Ernest Tina. You know, wonder if there's a vern, what
would the female vern and be Vernina? Is that what
would be, hey, what's up, Vernina, Hey fucking ernest gonna
go fucking kick your ass with all the shit you
put me through, God damn it. But nonetheless, so he
does catch their attention because later that night, Otis shows

(01:00:15):
up to Lance's place and basically pulls him out of
bed from his silk pajamas. And even though that, you know,
Lance wants to go out there and you know, gets
at least some shoes on, Otis isn't going to let
him do that, right, And I know, I was in
the middle of talking about how the acting is relatively
well and honestly, the two best people that do the
acting in this movie are going to be Myron and Lance.

(01:00:38):
Even Loretta for the way that she is, I think
she's perfectly fine and serviceable for the you know, the
crappiness that this character is in this movie, because she's
only one trick pony. She wants to be fucked or
she's being fucked, or she's nude in this movie. That's
all you're really gonna get out of that character. And Ernestina,
the actress that plays her, just has to look out

(01:00:59):
in the distance with her eyes wide open. Why am
I here? Why do I exist? Why is my name Ernestina?
These are all the things that I need to do,
except for once I'll show my tits. And that's basically
her character that's there. And so, like I was saying
a second ago, so he grabs him out of bed,

(01:01:21):
he takes them over to the place, and again we
get an outside shot and it just looks like it's
just a random street. There's no lead up, there's no
dirt road that fucking takes you there. Oh my god,
so fucking annoying from the first shot that was happening
there in the movie. These are the first world problems
I have when watching these types of things, that you
get this little fucking shitty thing that's going on there

(01:01:43):
and it bothers the living crap out of me. And
so from here he's brought into the house and that's
where he gets to meet Myron for the very first time.
But beforehand he gets to see what Wheeler actually looks
like outside of the fucking glasses. It looks so dumb

(01:02:03):
because he's got like bulging eyes out there. And you
actually do get a quick shot of Myron. But if
you're just not paying attention, because Ernestina is busy there
at the fucking piano playing her heart out. That's there,
and Myron's just in the back, and you just see
the head sitting back there attached to the wheelchair. But

(01:02:24):
he's not saying anything. That's there. He's just kinda there
in the background. And Lance doesn't. That would be the
first thing I would notice in the room right away.
I look over and say, like, huh, she's still wearing
the same clothes that she's been wearing for the last
three times. In fact, otis's as well. She's playing the piano.
What the fuck is that thing? But no, he doesn't
have the reaction to fucking Myron that's back there, that's

(01:02:45):
just sitting there in the shadows, that's obviously not moving
as just a goddamn like model or puppet that's in
the room. But no, it's Wheeler's fucking eyes that are
just bulging out of his head. He looks like that
one fat centa bite that's back there, like you know,
the one that kind of looks like se Lo. You know,
Selo is a centebyte that we have at home. But
instead just the eyes that are like bulging out of

(01:03:08):
his face look so goddamn ridiculous and so goddamn fake
that all you can do is just goddamn laugh at
the thing. As we get to meet Myron for the
very first time, and Lance starts to set his playing
in motion.

Speaker 13 (01:03:21):
All right, well, we're all here, nice and cozy.

Speaker 6 (01:03:31):
Holy shit him some big eyes.

Speaker 8 (01:03:33):
Brother, you've met my brothers and my sister. Mister Pogan,
I don't believe we've ever met.

Speaker 6 (01:03:47):
Well, I kind of figured i'd remembered if.

Speaker 8 (01:03:49):
We had no doubt. My name is Myron Stackpool. I'm
the pardon the expression, the head of the family. As
you have perhaps noted, we Stackpools all have our peculiarities.
We're quadruplets, you know, all born from the same egg.

(01:04:11):
Theoretically we should be identical, but well, strange things do happen.
Oh shit, do you know what you're looking at, mister
Vogan escapees from a freak show. You're looking at a
unique biological phenomenon. Four genetically linked beings each and down

(01:04:33):
with a share of normal abilities enhanced to almost supernatural proportions.
Otis many times stronger than any normal man, wheeler, with
eyes sharper than an eagle's. He is like a fox,
nose like a hound dog. Ernestina, Well, I hardly need

(01:04:53):
tell you about her special powace. As for me. Well, yes,
so you're the smart one, Yes, I should say so.
I'm the brains of the family. We're linked, you know, telepathically.
I can't leave this chair, but I could see through
Wheeler's eyes, enforce my wheel with Otis's hands. And well,

(01:05:16):
I need not tell you about my uses for Ernestina.
One brain controlling four bodies.

Speaker 13 (01:05:25):
Well, then, marrind I guess you're the one I need
to be talking to by all means talk.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
Okay, so we've learned that these are the stillborn quadruplets. Quadruplets.
I have never really heard it said like that, But whatever,
O Dave, don't let that bother you. Don't let it
bother you. It is not that bad. And so we
have the great powers of the group. Where we've got
Myron the brain, the head of the family, and the

(01:05:53):
one that's in control of all of them because they're
telepathically linked or psychically linked or where the fuck is
going on there. You've got Wheeler who's got enhanced senses,
enhanced sight because he's got those big fucking eyes. I'm
surprised he didn't have giant fucking ears on the side
of his face either, because he's got big hearing and
big sense of smell. Then he got otis the brute,

(01:06:14):
less brains but the bronze greater than any man. And
then we've got Ernestina, who we don't have to tell
you about what her fucking abilities are because you can
obviously see what the fuck are her abilities? What to
be a whore because she's got big tits because she

(01:06:34):
wears the same like lingerie type of outfit all the time. Like, no,
you're gonna have to explain what her fucking abilities are,
Like does she do to seduce people? He just looks
over there, seduce, seduce, seduce, Like is that what she does?
She just has to look at you in the eye
and be like, God, damn, I wanna I wanna suck

(01:06:55):
on those mommy milkers over there. And then he's he's like,
I don't have to explain what's going on there. Okay, fine,
you don't have to explain what's going on over there. Okay,
I'll get it. And then he goes on, you know,
he's my eyes and ears out in the world because
I can't leave here because I'm stuck to this goddamn
wheelchair with all these like vials and shit stuck next

(01:07:15):
to me, these tubes and this weird head contraption thing
like when you break your neck, you know, to keep
your head on straight. We got all this. So he's
my eyes and ears, and when I need to use Otis,
he's my bruiser, and he'll go out there and I
get to live vicariously through him and beat the shit
out of everybody. And Ernestina, well, I don't have to

(01:07:35):
explain what I use her. No, no, no, no, no.
On this one, You're gonna have to fucking explain what
you use Ernestina for. You're psychically attached to all these people.
So if he's your eyes and ears out there and
your smells right, and so you have him go out
there and you can hear the whole thing, and you
can like experience everything that he's experiencing, and you can

(01:07:58):
like spy on people and shit like that to get that.
That's what you use him for. That's what you're telling
me use him for, right, right. And then you you're
basically just a head with like small little scrawny arms
and a small little body and a small little legs
and everything like that, and so use him to beat
the shit out of people. You send Otis out there
and it gives you that feeling of strength and power,

(01:08:18):
and because you're psychically connected, you can just go out
there and you can just pummel on people and you
feel like you're the bigger man because you get to
beat the shit out of everybody and you can watch
yourself beat the crap out of people through Wheeler's eyes
and everything like that. Yeah, that's great. And then what
do you do with fucking Ernestina? Right? What does she do?

(01:08:42):
Does she do to seduce people? Is that what it is? Like?
Do you use like her sexual prowess to like seduce
men and convince them that they're gonna be away? Like?
Do you send out her out there to be like?
Do you get your your fucking rocks off the wear?

Speaker 19 (01:08:56):
Like?

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
Do you pretend that you've always wanted to be a
woman and what it's like to be fucked like a woman?
Is that what you're using like Ernestina for? Is that
what it is? She's like your personal sex doll that's
out there. You get your sexual pleasure from your goddamn sister.
You just send her out there on the corner every
Friday night and you horror out. Is that what you
do and you get that's the way that you get

(01:09:18):
a majority of your money. And at the same time, yeah,
I'm finally having sex even though I'm the one being fucked,
at least I'm getting some Is that the whole plan
that you have for Maybe you didn't need to explain
it to me, Maybe I don't, And it bothers the
shit out of me if that's what you're doing with her,
especially what she does later on in the movie, like

(01:09:38):
you're controlling her. And Lance, I'm looking right at you,
you motherfucker, because you know exactly what these fucking people do,
and you know exactly what he does with the other ones.
So if you're having sex with Ernestina, are you actually
having sex with Myron? That's the question that I need answered,
and I don't need answered at this same fucking time,

(01:10:01):
because yeah, yeah, I'm gonna need you explain exactly what
you use your sister for because if that's it, I
just am not cool with it at all. But anyway,
so their conversation continues after we've been formally introduced as Lance.
Now starts to lay out his plan.

Speaker 13 (01:10:22):
Let's just say, for conversation, that somebody happened to see
a strange old roadblock a couple of nights ago, and
this fella he happened to see otis here dragging some
poor fella out of his pickup truck, bringing him into
this house, Ernestina. There she drove that truck around back.
He still got some pretty deep swamp land back there,
don't you.

Speaker 8 (01:10:42):
Indeed, we do.

Speaker 13 (01:10:44):
Nice place to hide a vehicle or vehicles. Now, for conversation,
let's just say that this fella happened to see the
license plate of that truck, a license plate that read
hunk a Love.

Speaker 8 (01:10:57):
Such a fella might be inclined to go to the police.

Speaker 13 (01:11:00):
He might, he may, and then again he may not.
You see, this fella, he's got himself a whole world
of problems, one major problem, one big dumb bick of
her problem named Howard Oates.

Speaker 6 (01:11:13):
You know him.

Speaker 8 (01:11:14):
He's the boy that drives the Harley.

Speaker 13 (01:11:16):
Yeah, that's the one man, far as I'm concerned, he
can drive that Harley right off the edge of the earth.

Speaker 6 (01:11:20):
Would in trouble me none?

Speaker 8 (01:11:22):
Well, why should we help this fellow when, after all
we have him.

Speaker 13 (01:11:31):
Now, Laren, it's awful silly for a big old brain
like you to play stupid.

Speaker 6 (01:11:35):
It's not too convincing. No, suppose this fella now, well.

Speaker 13 (01:11:40):
He ain't as smart as some, but he is smart
enough to say, write down everything he saw that night
and put it in a letter. And then he drives
somewhere and he finds himself a phone book, and he
gets himself a lawyer, random like, and he gives that
letter to the lawyer and he says, now, I'm gonna
call you ever so often on a schedule like, and
I'm going to stop.

Speaker 6 (01:12:01):
By all by myself. And if and I don't call,
or if I don't stop by, oh.

Speaker 13 (01:12:06):
Well, if I turn up dead or miss him, well
you just shoot that letter on over to the state's
attorney's office.

Speaker 6 (01:12:14):
Let him get to work on it.

Speaker 8 (01:12:16):
Would you like to know what happened to that gentleman
with the amusing license plate? No, there's a neing to
calm over there. Go on over and press the third button.
It will connect you to our surgical annex.

Speaker 6 (01:12:31):
Oh yeah, who's down there?

Speaker 8 (01:12:34):
Don't tell me. I piqued your curiosity.

Speaker 1 (01:12:38):
So he's formulating the plan here and he's basically trying
to blackmail them, right, he's basically, I do like the
back and forth between him and Myron and the way
that they explain everything going back and how Myron is
kind of like, well, you have my interest now, so
what is it that you want? Right? And he goes

(01:12:58):
through and he gives them the hypothetical situation. What if
someone happened to see your big old bruise of brother
beat the shit out of somebody and basically seem like
they killed him, but they least kidnapped him, and he
were to hold it over your head to get what
they want. What would you do? And he's like, well,

(01:13:18):
I mean I kind of got you here. I could
just fucking kill you right now. What would happen with that?
And you know, would you like to see what we
did with the person basically trying to intimidate him back
And he has him go over into a corner where
he's got like a little intercom and he tells him
to hit er option number three And when he hits

(01:13:40):
the option, you hear the screams from the people down
there in the basement. And it's meant to again be
another intimidating factor to where he's like, you know, have
I peached your interest? And he's like, well, not really,
But then he still goes back over there and hits
the button to like find out exactly what's going on.
It's like, it can't be that bad, and I love it.
He's like hit button three and there's just like a

(01:14:01):
box and it's got one button on it. Like, okay,
you why why you say it's got three buttons, but
it obviously is only one goddamn button that you have
over there. So he does that, he listens to him
and then he basically, you know, he decides that he's
going to blackmail them. And what he's going to blackmail

(01:14:22):
them into doing, well, he's going to blackmail them into
killing Howard.

Speaker 8 (01:14:26):
Not surprisingly, mister Bogan, I have an abiding interest in
the human brain, in the relationship of the brain to
the body. Do you know that some people are born,
live their whole, normal lives and die with only half
a brain.

Speaker 6 (01:14:43):
Well, I meant more, mush sharem.

Speaker 8 (01:14:46):
I want a human body, a normal human body, but
one that can encompass my superior intelligence. I can test
having to live a life through proxy through the limbs
and senses of these cree, and so I experiment, if
half a brain can do the work of a whole one,

(01:15:06):
perhaps a whole human brain can hold an intellect equivalent
to my own.

Speaker 6 (01:15:10):
So more power to you.

Speaker 8 (01:15:12):
And you aren't at all concerned about my subjects down
in the basement.

Speaker 6 (01:15:19):
Is there anything I can do for them?

Speaker 8 (01:15:21):
Nothing comes to mind. I keep them alive for future
experiments and for their occasional entertainment value.

Speaker 6 (01:15:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 13 (01:15:32):
Well, they got their problems, and I got mine, and
you got yours. And right now, myran, I'm the problem
you gotta worry about. Like you say, you're a very
clever fellow. You want me to stay quiet, like see,
because I got a feeling. You got a whole fleet
of cars.

Speaker 6 (01:15:49):
And that swamp back there.

Speaker 13 (01:15:51):
You don't want guys with guns and badges snooping around
this house.

Speaker 6 (01:15:55):
Now.

Speaker 13 (01:15:56):
You want to keep doing whatever it is you're doing. Right,
You made them folks downstairs go away. I want you
to do the same thing for Howard Oates. You make
him go away, Otherwise you're gonna find yourself in a
whole world to hurt.

Speaker 6 (01:16:18):
Now, do we have a deal?

Speaker 1 (01:16:21):
So ultimately, the big plan that they're gonna go with
here is that they are well that Lance. It's in
a saying they, but Lance is going to blackmail the
stillborns into actually getting rid of Howard. Right, So he
has this plan, he's got everything set up. He realizes
that he's you know, he set it up in a
way so that way that you know, they wouldn't have

(01:16:44):
an advantage over him, which honestly is relatively smart. He
set himself going in right, So he got himself a lawyer, Lack,
and he gave all the information the lawyer and he
told him that if you don't hear from me on
a regular basis, then you can go ahead and release
that information of the cops. And they're screwed, right, because
they must have a lot of cars back there in
that swamp over there, and there's no way that you'd

(01:17:06):
be able to get rid of it. And I got
one of the license plates. What are you gonna do?
Go out into the swamp and go remove the license plates?
Is that what you're gonna do? You gonna send Ernestina
out there to go dive. She's gonna get her dive
and helmet on. Make sure he ticks off those nice
silk panties and flashes her ass to everybody. And then
I mean, okay, I can see what type of abilities

(01:17:28):
that she has right here, because I was just talking
about her going removing the fucking license plate. Instead I'm
already talking about her removing her panties and we ain't
seen it. Her cooter is there, cooter like a firecracker,
because if a cooter is not like a firecracker, I
don't want to want any but I kind of want any.
And again, let me ask you this, if I'm fucking her,

(01:17:48):
is it like I'm fucking you? Because maybe I don't
want to do it, but maybe I do, but maybe
I don't, but then again probably probably do. But nonetheless,
so he's got himself all set up and ready to go,
and he basically convinces them that, yeah, they're gonna be
the ones they're gonna do it right if you want

(01:18:09):
to hide yourselves and I can expose everything about you, then,
and especially now that he knows there's a giant, fucking
like guy with a huge fucking head that's just sitting
in a wheelchair there, he'd be like, hey, do you
know there's some freaks out there? And the guy that's
planning on world domination or some type of bullshit. I
don't know exactly what he's doing, but he's just more
or less like he wants a body. That's ultimately what

(01:18:31):
he wants, right, And that's why he does the experiments
that he's doing. It's because he's tired of being like this,
Like he said, people only use fifty percent of their brain,
and he wants to find somebody that he'd be able
to transfer his consciousness over to. Unless he's trying to
actually transfer his brain. But since he's such a fucking head,
how would he transfer his giant fucking head over or

(01:18:54):
his brain into a regular sized body, Like would he
remove his head and then put it on a regular
body so that you know, in fact, like could he
use just use Otis's body, like lop off Otis's head
and put it on his little tiny buddy's a little
puppet master body that he's got back there, and then
put his head onto the giant Otis which you could

(01:19:15):
hold up the frame. Or is he gonna be like
cutting out parts of his brain and implanting it into
somebody else's brain so that he takes over I'm probably
thinking too much for the script, to be honest with you,
in the way that everything's going here. So you know,
once he's now established this plan over with, you know,

(01:19:36):
the the stillborns that are there. We then cut back
over to the diner and guess what we could to
experience some more. Oh some fucking in talking dirty to me.

Speaker 6 (01:19:46):
They tell dirty.

Speaker 13 (01:19:47):
Ain't no time to talk dirty. Now listen tomorrow.

Speaker 6 (01:19:53):
How's gonna be out of damn? You get yourself an alibi?

Speaker 4 (01:19:58):
What alibi?

Speaker 8 (01:20:00):
You know?

Speaker 6 (01:20:01):
You see friend to bear? Whatever you're gonna do, you
have people see it.

Speaker 1 (01:20:06):
Now?

Speaker 6 (01:20:06):
You got this, and hell you do? I say, now,
oh you're going to it?

Speaker 1 (01:20:12):
You going to it?

Speaker 6 (01:20:13):
You won't do it now? It ain't nobody gonna point.

Speaker 8 (01:20:16):
He's gonna be dead.

Speaker 13 (01:20:18):
He's gonna be dead, dead than a dog and a
garbage dumper.

Speaker 12 (01:20:24):
You don't mind that and shine it up.

Speaker 1 (01:20:29):
He's gonna be dead dead, Howard Brown, well, I guess
oats Howard oats dead, and than the dog is in
the doggs town. I don't know who the fuck I
was going there. I just had big bad Leroy Brown
stuck in my head for some reason during this scene.
But yeah, So basically he tells the loredda, hey, he's

(01:20:50):
gonna do it. Howard's gonna be out of town. You
don't have to worry about it. It's gonna be taken
care of. Just make sure you gets yourself an albi
and now and now, I don't want to do it.
I was gonna do me pretending her being fucked, but
I really don't want to subject to you guys to
that on this podcast. You don't want to hear me
like pretending that I'm getting fucked over here and being
a woman at the same time. So we're just gonna

(01:21:11):
leave it as it is, and we're gonna leave it
up to them. I swear to god. This is what
the fourth scene with them together in one little section
and they're still fucking. Right. There's only been maybe one scene.
There could be five five scenes, and one out of
the five they're not actually having any sex, but they're
talking about possibly being found out that they were fucking.
But you know, again, everybody's just fucking you know, everybody

(01:21:34):
was kung fu fucking do do do do do do?
Those heads were big and brainy. Do do do do do doude.
This is the head of the family. Do do do
Do Do Do Do Where there's nothing but fucking like,
that's that's what this movie is. Okay, that's that. I
swear to God Dave. If you set me up for

(01:21:57):
fucking softcore porn and that's what you want me to
review on this podcast, we're gonna have to have a
fucking talk later on. But nonetheless, it's seriously that should
just be fucking Shannon Tweed over there, That's what I'm saying. Okay,
there's just so much goddamn fucking in this movie, and
it's constant, constant, constant, constant. I mean, I'd expect it

(01:22:18):
out of a movie like Femalien, but I wouldn't expect
it out of Ahead of the fucking Family. Maybe that's
why William Shantton really liked this movie. Man. She had
some really great acting skills on her. You know, I
really just got into the role. I could see myself
as Lance and you know, being there and interacting with
her because her acting was just so good. I mean,

(01:22:39):
they just they just hung out there and they were
just bouncing perfectly perfect acting skills and such a tight
acting skill.

Speaker 20 (01:22:49):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:22:49):
On the backside, there just just fucking great acting skills
that we had in this movie. You guys really should
with the comedy that Lretta brought to this role was
just so magnificent that I just had to admire her
her comedic acting skills. When she said Albi while she

(01:23:09):
was getting fucked in the ass, that was just absolute
gold for what it was. So we then cut over
to that night and we see that Howard is riding
his Harley down the street and then he runs across Ernestina,
who just happens to be hanging out by a tree
in a park. Like literally, you can see a park

(01:23:30):
bench in the scene over on the left side of
it if you were to positive for a second, like
it's supposed to be the side of a road, but
they're just literally driving this inside of a park somewhere,
and the lights back there not being held, you know,
hidden that well by the tree that she's standing next to.
What the hell is he doing with a motorcycle in
a park anyway, But nonetheless, she stops him, gathers his interest,

(01:23:53):
and then he seduces him to the point that Otis
comes and knocks him the fuck out, and they drag
him off and take him down to the dungeon down below.
We cut back over Lance for a second, where he
gets the call telling him that yep, the deed has
been done and so, you know, don't worry, everything's fine,
and we get to watch Howard get tortured for a second.

(01:24:16):
Then we you know, we have a little scene with
Myron where he's just kind of sitting back there and
he's just like upset by the fact that he got
dragged into doing this, like, yeah, okay, I did it,
but I didn't really want to and this is not
exactly what I want to use my brains for. We
cut back over to Lance, who is interrupted while he's

(01:24:37):
sleeping by the good old Loretta, and we find out
that Lance is actually kind of a greedy son of
a bitch and he's gonna use this knowledge and information
he has to extort even more out of the stillborns. Lance.

Speaker 6 (01:24:51):
It's me, oh, Shita, what doing he did? You do
it is? He go? Oh, Bretta, he gotta stick with
the plan. Howard turns up missing. You don't want people
hooking us up. You really did it. It's done, baby,
you won't see it hour no more?

Speaker 12 (01:25:08):
Taill me?

Speaker 8 (01:25:09):
How'd you do it?

Speaker 6 (01:25:10):
Had it done? Angel Cake Man's got his act together.
He don't do it. He has it done. You heard it,
hit man, No, it had something.

Speaker 8 (01:25:17):
Whole lot better.

Speaker 13 (01:25:18):
Well, I'll say for twoo, honey, I got the stackpoles
working for me. Go on, yeah, I got me a
little look at something real sweet, you know that night
we saw that roadblock with that little look and some
sharp thinking by yours, truly.

Speaker 8 (01:25:32):
That's all it took.

Speaker 12 (01:25:33):
So you got something on stackples.

Speaker 6 (01:25:34):
Oh yeah, I got them by the short, I got
them by the short whatever the hell they got.

Speaker 12 (01:25:38):
And they took care of hard.

Speaker 6 (01:25:39):
Yeah, just like that.

Speaker 13 (01:25:41):
I said, you take care of Howard Oats and they
did it.

Speaker 6 (01:25:45):
And that ain't all. That's just the first installment.

Speaker 13 (01:25:47):
What do you mean, well, honey, them stackpoles is loaded
with the green stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:25:52):
I checked it out. They got all them real goods.
They got like oil and gas.

Speaker 13 (01:25:56):
Coal and all that flammable shit real And you're gonna
get it, uh huh, honey, lips, we're gonna get it
if you play it smart.

Speaker 6 (01:26:05):
That means you can't be hanging around here.

Speaker 13 (01:26:07):
See, you can't be acting like Howard's dead before somebody even.

Speaker 6 (01:26:11):
Tells you that he's missing. No, you gotta play a
cool baby, Oh.

Speaker 12 (01:26:15):
Land, sound too hot to play cool?

Speaker 14 (01:26:17):
You gotta do me, baby, fuck your little scolet oh
take your pennies on.

Speaker 1 (01:26:22):
So, yeah, the scene ends with them fucking once again.
See what I mean that you can't go through a
scene with Loretta and Lance in this movie without them
starting fucking in middle of fucking ending fucking everything that
has to do with them is just them fucking getting
the rocks off the entire time. In fact, I feel
like this episode is going to be like, how many

(01:26:43):
times am I going to say fucking in this whole thing?
Because that's all they're really doing in the entire fucking episode.
But nonetheless, so he decides because he knows that they
are in the middle of all these different ventures that
they have and that he'd be able to get a
bunch of money from them, right, so he's gonna go
ahead and use the information that he has to get

(01:27:03):
even more money out of them and to make them
better off. So as she removes her panties and jumps
on the bed, which we get to see her ass
in this shot. So at least we're going to see
not just your tits, but we're gonna see some a
for the first time. Is it the first time? It's
the first time we get a full shot of her moon.
I guess that's why I call it fu Mom Pictures.

(01:27:24):
And so we then cut over to the dungeon that's
down there as Otis is handing everybody that's down there
as potatoes, and we ultimately see what happened to Howard
where they removed one of his eyes from his body
right as he's given a potato, and he's just kind
of like looking at him and they're not completely like lobottomized,
some of them are. You'll see it there, and we

(01:27:45):
actually see the dude too that was hunk a Lovin,
and it doesn't look like anything really bad happened to
him other than he's just made kind of dumb, and honestly,
this is probably like the gorious scene in the entire
movie where you actually get a good shot at Howard's
face and how he's missing the eye out of there
and he's got a bunch of like a chunk of

(01:28:07):
his face taken off. And that's the extent of gore
in this movie, because you really never see anything else,
and nothing other becomes gory, and you really just you know,
get tits and ass for the rest of everything that's
going on here, so and one guy too. He gives
one potato and he's like, you only get one and

(01:28:28):
he's like, no, two, t one potato, two, three potato
far far hot potato, God damn it, and he throws
the potato against the wall. He actually doesn't do the
hot potato thing, but he gets upset that he doesn't
get his second potato until Otis gives him the second
one and he throws against the wall. I don't know.

(01:28:49):
I guess potatoes piss him off or something like that.
So we then go back over and we see Lances
returned back over into the you know, the steel pole household,
and this is where he lays down the extortion. So
it's calmed down to extortion for Lance and him getting
some money on a weekly payment schedule to make sure

(01:29:09):
that he stays quiet.

Speaker 6 (01:29:11):
Shouldn't think I'd hand that letter over to you, did you?

Speaker 12 (01:29:13):
Maren?

Speaker 8 (01:29:14):
Hardly?

Speaker 11 (01:29:15):
Hardly is right?

Speaker 6 (01:29:16):
Why do that?

Speaker 13 (01:29:17):
You kill me deader than stale cheese? We both know
that now. I know it's floating around that big old'head
of yours. Whatever I do or don't do, I'm a
permanent burr up your butt.

Speaker 8 (01:29:27):
I see I can't keep any secrets from you, mister Bogan.

Speaker 13 (01:29:31):
Well, it ain't no secret, man, it's just common sense.
So letting you do what you do, just letting you
stay around and keeping my mouth shut.

Speaker 6 (01:29:40):
That's a price to me risk.

Speaker 13 (01:29:43):
I figure a man takes a risk, why he ought
to get paid for it?

Speaker 6 (01:29:46):
Seems reasonable to me.

Speaker 8 (01:29:48):
But I'm sure you also realize that it's a calculated risk.
You press too hard, and you make it worth it
for me to employ desperate measures.

Speaker 13 (01:29:59):
What you mean like dragging me down in that basement
playroom mirrors and sniffing off pieces of me till I
tell you who my lawyer is. Maybe make me call
up my lawyer have him deliver that letter in person. Ah, well,
I wouldn't do that if I was you, Myron.

Speaker 8 (01:30:17):
I see you've thought it all out.

Speaker 6 (01:30:19):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 13 (01:30:20):
See IFO Wheeler hears noses as good as you say
it is why he probably sniffed these on me when
I first came in. Say I'd to match these against
Otis's muscle any day of the week, or against your
big old brain for that matter.

Speaker 6 (01:30:36):
Now, ain't gonna be no torture tonight, Myron.

Speaker 8 (01:30:39):
Pity? And what exactly is it that you expect from me,
mister Bogan.

Speaker 13 (01:30:45):
Call me Lance Myron. Not to worry. Now, I thought
this whole thing out. Now, I'm not gonna bleed you dry.

Speaker 6 (01:30:51):
Now.

Speaker 13 (01:30:52):
Mom always said only a dummy slaughters the milk and cow,
and I'm not gonna slaughter you.

Speaker 6 (01:30:58):
I'm just gonna scoop off a little crew.

Speaker 13 (01:31:01):
Say about two thousand a week. Oh now, don't go
acting like that, some hardship man. I know you got
cabbage despair. Go on over to the right dresser draw

(01:31:27):
all right, oldest sweeler, Ernestina. Been a pleasure doing business
with you all. See you next week for another payment.
And don't get up, man, show myself out, wheeler.

Speaker 8 (01:31:45):
You follow that greasy white trash huckster. We'll watch, listen
to him, smell him, and when he slips, we'll catch him.
All right, we'll catch the little fox, and don't catch
that grin right off his face. Go.

Speaker 1 (01:32:00):
So he's gonna extort him for two thousand dollars a week, right,
and he's gonna make sure that you know, he stays
quiet like and he won't say that. And he came strapped,
so in case they were going to try to go
after him and attack him, he just pull out the
guns and he'd blow them away, and he's like, you know,
I love how he says that, you know, basically that
I'd bet my bullets over Otis's strengthening day because he's

(01:32:22):
got these two gats on him that he's ready to
pull out. Though you know, I always think when somebody
has them, like in those like holsters, and you're gonna
like pull him out from because you've got two guns
on you, and you can pull him out from under
your left and right arms, and you have to pull
him out like the amount of time that it's gonna
take to do that if you're gonna and I feel
like Lance here is gonna try to do it cool

(01:32:42):
like he's in a John Woo movie or something that
pull him out nice and slow and slow motion, then
point them out and blame blam blam blam, like that
type of thing that oh Otis would be able to
knock his ass out, because he also seems like the
type of guy that like hold it sideways because he
thinks it looks cool instead of just like looking down
the sites and fucking shoot and make sure that he
hits his shots. So and also the type that would

(01:33:04):
like push the gun forward because he thinks the bullets
are gonna go faster. He fires it that way, but
it really is just firing it wildly all over the
goddamn place. So yeah, they ended up, you know, ultimately
giving him the money as well, right, and he goes over,
go down into the drawer and go get the money,
which raises a question for me at the end of
this movie as well. So I just I think that,

(01:33:28):
you know, Lance here at this point thinks that he's
relatively smart, but he's not necessarily that smart of a guy,
because as we're gonna find out, And the next scene
when Loretta is sitting there at his restaurant and they're talking,
and they end up talking like they're just talking about
this for the very first time. Even the waitress realizes, Oh,

(01:33:49):
something's up, and I'm getting the hell out of here
because I don't want to be involved in this shit
that's going on. Right, Because while even though Lance is
relatively a smart character in general for these types of movies,
he's too braggadocious and he's too full of himself to
really be like, you need to stay the fuck quiet,
And Loretta is too stupid and too excited to also

(01:34:13):
stay the fuck quiet right and just let things pass,
like he could easily just realize that, as he's been
told by good old Myron over here, that hey Wheeler
is the eyes and ears, and you know, if he's
got really good hearing, maybe he could spy on you,
and maybe you just shut the fuck up for a
while rather than just like constantly spill it, because you

(01:34:36):
two can't spend two fucking minutes without going at it
like fucking jack rabbits over here. That you know, if
you just shut up and not fuck for like a month,
maybe everything would be better. And maybe you only extort
him for a little bit and then you just leave
him the fuck alone after that point. And in fact,
I would just get the fuck out of town. Why
do you even stay around this place? It doesn't make

(01:34:58):
any sense. You just have it. Look, you mail me.
I'm gonna give you, you know, a peel box that
you're gonna send the money to, and then I'm gonna
go collect it every now and then and you're gonna
pay me on it. And he wants to be paid
on a weekly basis, why not just do it once
a month? That way, that you could just randomly drive in,
show up, collect your money when you've got your shit

(01:35:19):
strapped on, yes, and make sure that nobody does anything
to you, and then you'll leave and he disappear for
a month and nobody knows where the fuck you are,
and even he doesn't know where the fuck you are.
But in this case, you're a stupid fucking idiot, aren't you. Lance.
You're really just an idiot at heart, even though you
think that you're as smart as fucking Myron is and
the rest of the Stillborn family. I would put him

(01:35:42):
in between Wheeler and Myron if I have to think
onlike smartness power levels that we have here. If Myron
is the top, then you know, Lance would definitely be
number two because it's a relatively good cat and mouse
game that that got going on between them, right. And
I know there's one thing that you're probably saying to
yourself here, one that the clips are relatively long, because

(01:36:05):
they are because this is one of those things that
I complain about a lot of movies when it's a
bad movie, they just have a lot of dialogue in
the here. But honestly, when it comes to this movie,
I don't mind the dialogue as much. I think that
it works for what it is. I wish there was
more action going on instead of just constant disposition between
all of the characters, but it's not to that point

(01:36:26):
where they're like telling you how they feel. It's just
kind of them playing off each other. And I really
like the interactions between Lance and Myron. I think that
they're actually relatively good. Like I said, I don't think
the acting is that bad in this movie, as far
as a full moon picture goes. This is relatively good acting,
to be honest with you. You got relatively good characters.

(01:36:48):
It actually is relatively funny, sometimes for the right reasons,
sometimes for the wrong reasons. But in general, besides all
the TNA and all the sex that goes on in
this movie, if it was it's just this cat and
mouse game between two people that think that they're intellectually
superior to the other, it's not bad. It just has
that full moon shit smeared over on the top of it, right,

(01:37:12):
and maybe not shit necessarily, but cheapness. Right. I'm pretty
sure that this movie was filmed for like peanuts on
the dollar, for what it is, if it was only
filmed in ten days, but as far as Full Moon
Picture goes, it's not that bad of a movie, and
it's relatively palatable for the movie that you're watching, if
you're gonna spend an hour and twenty two minutes watching

(01:37:33):
a Full Moon Picture. So we go back over the diner,
and like I said, these guys are just you know,
both Lance and Loretta are actually pretty much a bunch
of fucking idiots because they should keep everything on the
down low, yet they talk about everything in front of
everybody else.

Speaker 17 (01:37:48):
So Loretta anywhere from Howard, Oh no, and it's been
almost awake week.

Speaker 12 (01:37:54):
That's terrible, feels almost like forever.

Speaker 6 (01:38:01):
Did you call the police?

Speaker 12 (01:38:03):
Of course I did, just.

Speaker 6 (01:38:03):
Like it to.

Speaker 17 (01:38:05):
I mean, of course I did. But it's like you
just fell off the face of the earth.

Speaker 12 (01:38:11):
Fancy that you haven't been so big and all.

Speaker 17 (01:38:14):
Well, he did have a way of creating bad feelings
in people.

Speaker 6 (01:38:18):
What the police say?

Speaker 12 (01:38:20):
What did they say?

Speaker 17 (01:38:21):
Well, I didn't get the impression that Lokigan Howard was
likely to be a high priority for the boys in Blue.
Let me see if I can recall Sergeant's exact words.
It was like, if y'all want to find that no
good trouble making redneck husband ears you best buy yourself shovel.

Speaker 6 (01:38:36):
Well, that was damn and sensitive to.

Speaker 12 (01:38:38):
Them, I should say, so.

Speaker 13 (01:38:43):
I imagine you've well, you're about giving up hope ever seeing
your husband again.

Speaker 17 (01:38:48):
Well, foul play of the permanent variety does seem to
be the.

Speaker 12 (01:38:51):
Generally held pinion. Of course, our marriage was troubled, yes, course.

Speaker 17 (01:39:02):
Well we didn't talk about it much, but what with
him being a gangstern drug seller, murder and all, well,
it did make normal laugh.

Speaker 12 (01:39:10):
A bit difficult.

Speaker 6 (01:39:13):
I expect it would still.

Speaker 13 (01:39:17):
I suppose it does get a bit lonely with addhim.

Speaker 12 (01:39:20):
Lonely, yes, more than you could ever imagine.

Speaker 13 (01:39:25):
Well, Loretta, I hope you don't take this the wrong way,
but well, if you're still lonely.

Speaker 6 (01:39:31):
I'd be happy to I don't know. How about dinner
and a movie?

Speaker 12 (01:39:36):
Hmm, how about dinner. Let's skip the movie.

Speaker 6 (01:39:40):
How about we skip dinner too.

Speaker 10 (01:39:44):
You know you fill me up.

Speaker 12 (01:39:45):
Better than any old steak and potatoes.

Speaker 6 (01:39:47):
Sweet kick, you're the only hot fudge Sunday I want
to dip my spoon into.

Speaker 1 (01:39:53):
Okay, what I don't get about this scene, other than
them being fucking against one I love the fact that
they're like talking there and I get they're trying to
create like an alibi for the relationship moving forward, like, oh,
she's just like you. No, I'm just worried about her
and everything going on. And they're talking about what's going on.
And see, even then she talks about calling the cops,

(01:40:14):
and they literally are like, well, you might as well
just go find a shovel and try to find him,
because we ain't gonna be looking for him anymore. And
Sovia just popped a cap in his fucking ass and
dumped him in a fucking river or something like that.
Nobody been into the fucking wiser nobody would have went
after it. Oh we found the body and that's fucking it.
That's all would have been. And that would have been
fine without having to involve this fucking family. But you

(01:40:35):
want to also get money from them, so fuck it.
I guess yolo if as the kids would saying, like
ten years ago, but nonetheless, you have them continue the
conversation after she coughs her way out of it. I
love that she just all of a sudden, as they're
going a little further, well, you know, I'm kind of
you know, in a situation and I'm feeling lone. She's like,

(01:40:57):
all right, I don't need to hear anymore of this.
Likes just so fucking stupid, But she leaves and then
they continue with the conversation like people are fucking listening
to them, you know. Instead it's just the way of
them flirting with each other. I get it. As we
cut to the outside and we see Wheeler is listening in, Oh,

(01:41:19):
who would have fun? He would have sent him out
there because he's got like great hearing skills and some
shit like that. So we see that Myron is also
concentrating really hard to listen in the conversation to listen
to them if they slip as they go back to
his place, because of course they gotta start talking about
fucking because they ain't gonna have dinner, they ain't gonna

(01:41:40):
have the movie. They're just gonna have you know, him
filler up better than any steak and potatoes ever fucking would, right,
So of course they go back to his place as
they finish fucking, and they're enjoying some champagna over there,
and he's spilling it all over her naked body. She's
laying there out there, bush out and all as Wheeler

(01:42:01):
is listening in and Myron is also Livers listening in
and decides that he's gonna send them to make sure
that they take a withdrawal from the pain bank.

Speaker 6 (01:42:12):
That damn things here we go rup there part.

Speaker 8 (01:42:23):
Like that.

Speaker 6 (01:42:25):
You better get used to it, tet, because it's gonna
be a lot more of that with that king from
courtesy and.

Speaker 13 (01:42:29):
Mister big brain stackpool esquire what's grown?

Speaker 8 (01:42:37):
Esquires?

Speaker 6 (01:42:38):
Somebody gives you a ship car full of money. I'm
real sorry about that.

Speaker 8 (01:42:47):
Keep on talking, you little country con man. Every stupid
words a deposit at the pain bank. You just wait.
Pretty soon you'll be making a withdrawal. You went that
out of puff horror of yours?

Speaker 1 (01:43:02):
Powderpuff horror? What the hell? When we get to the
Powerpuff Girls over here? Or is that like the alternate universe?
What are they made of? Well, you gotta make sure
that you put a chemical X in there. But is
it like nice nipples, big hairy seventies bush and chemical
X all brings together for the Powerpuff horrors? I don't

(01:43:22):
know what the fuck I was thinking about there. That's
the worst fucking analogy ever. But it's just like again,
why would you want your sixteen year old daughter to
see this movie? At sixteen, you decide, well, you're gonna
have to see one of my movies one of these times.
And what's the one that what I want to show you?
What is the one that I'm the most proud of
that I think that you're gonna get the least amount

(01:43:43):
of you know, sexual regression from I know, head of
the fucking family where my boobs are out constantly, I'm
constant about talking about sex, and I'm constantly having sex
with somebody else on film the entire time, while you
are just sixteen years old. I don't know. I'm not
trying to like, you know, slut shame or you know,

(01:44:05):
mom's shame or whatever type of shame onto the person.
I just wonder what the decisions are. What are the
other movies? How much are they worse than this movie
here that that's the one that you're gonna show them
at So and that stupid line of just just making
more deposits at the pain bank and you're gonna be
making withdrawal very very soon. Oh yes, you're gonna go

(01:44:29):
down to the pain depot. You're gonna go to Wells
Pain go, and you're gonna be putting them into that
pain savings account that you have over there, and you're
gonna need to make a giant withdrawal. Yes, yes, that
pain ira has hit its mark, and those pain CDs
that you've been storing for the last ten years have

(01:44:50):
finally fit their maximum, and you're just gonna get a
whole pain withdrawal that you're never ever gonna come back
from you. Hear like, it's so ridiculous, and uh Jesus,
I just I love how cheesy this movie fucking gets.
It's also weird that there's like a little section here
after he finishes his line where Ernestina feeds him like soup,

(01:45:16):
and it's it's like way too long of a little
scene to have in this movie as well, because he's
like sitting there, well, he doesn't do anything but fucking
sit there, right Myron I'm talking about, of course, and
he like he's like and then she like slowly brings
over like here's the airplane and brings up to his

(01:45:38):
mouth and and I'm like, what why what? What what
do we but why do we need this in here?

Speaker 21 (01:45:46):
What?

Speaker 1 (01:45:46):
What? What the hell is going on in this movie?
Like there's little fucking things like that. There's one big
thing towards the end where I'm like, why the fuck
do we even need this in this movie? So we
got back over to Lance sitting in the diner. One
of the things that irk me about the scene too
is it seems like it's so much shorter than it is,
right because there's a clock on the wall, and usually
the clock is going to be like a standard room

(01:46:08):
is twelve foot tall right in the bedroom of a house.
If you're gonna put a clock anywhere, I'm gonna put
it towards the ceiling, right, it's gonna be a little
higher up, so you look at it. Even if you're
in a business office you have the clocks over the place,
it's never at eye level. It's always like a little
bit up on the wall. Esthetically it's bleevisy. But here,
like Lance is sitting on the goddamn counter and it's

(01:46:28):
almost like head height of him. It's like, and it's
not even like on the wall flush, it's like pushed
out from the bottom. Again, these are just the little
fucking things that I see that annoy the ever loving
shit out of me. When it comes to like seeing
things in the movie. So anyway, so he's sitting there
with a fucked up clock on the wall, and he
starts talking over to you know, the waitress that's there,

(01:46:49):
and he goes he wants to be more of a
silent partner like, and again he's caught slipping up because
he keeps talking more and more about the shit that's
going on because he receives well, he goes over to
make the phone call to a lawyer, and of course
you can guess who's listening on the other line. Well,
not listening on the other line, but listening from outside
the fucking building.

Speaker 6 (01:47:11):
Susie, how would you like to run this place? Oh?

Speaker 8 (01:47:16):
You mean more than I do?

Speaker 6 (01:47:17):
Now?

Speaker 13 (01:47:18):
I know, I know, I ain't exactly been around too
much lately, but I got bigger things in the works.

Speaker 6 (01:47:24):
Mm Now, why you always got to be such a
sour puss? I'm trying to make you an offer. You
take over the shop and stop.

Speaker 13 (01:47:32):
You can hire whoever you want, and uh, I'll give
you a fifty percent share because I'm a nice guy.

Speaker 6 (01:47:39):
I'll be like one of them what you might call it,
some silent partners.

Speaker 13 (01:47:42):
Silent Oh, now that'll be the day, Susie the scale
has been lifted from my eyes. I've seen a bigger,
better world, a world beyond deep friars and canned goods,
and I can reach out there and grab it, that is,
if I play my card right.

Speaker 14 (01:47:57):
Lance, You try walking around in the big bends, you
are just gonna fall flat on your face.

Speaker 6 (01:48:04):
I am fitting no shoes. And as a matter of fact,
that getting too tight.

Speaker 14 (01:48:08):
Yeah, well, everything that's been going on around here, I
feel like getting a bit tight myself.

Speaker 6 (01:48:13):
You hush now, you think about mom. Clean this stuff up.

Speaker 13 (01:48:18):
I gotta make an important phone call.

Speaker 4 (01:48:34):
Hello, ARTI Rascal.

Speaker 6 (01:48:36):
Please, this is cleent Lance Bogan.

Speaker 4 (01:48:39):
One moment, mister Bogan.

Speaker 13 (01:48:41):
Arthur Rascal here, mister Rascal, this is Lance Bogan calling
in on schedule.

Speaker 9 (01:48:47):
Yes, mister Bogan, can you please tell me the name
of your mama's dog when you were a young man.

Speaker 13 (01:48:52):
My mama's dog is Elvis Presley.

Speaker 16 (01:48:56):
Elvis P.

Speaker 11 (01:48:57):
Wresley.

Speaker 13 (01:48:57):
That's correct, Thank you very much, mister Bogan, And thank
you mister Rascal.

Speaker 1 (01:49:04):
Elvis Wristling, get it, because it's Elvis Presley. Is the
name of the doll. The other thing that irks me
here to in this scene. I know there's a lot.
And it's funny because I recently went and saw Clown
in a cornfield right before I had my surgery, went
to like the special preview screening that was happening during

(01:49:26):
the week, and there's a scene in that movie where
they get into a house and I think it's in
the trailer too, and they're gonna call for help. But
they have a rotary phone. Now, kids, rotary phones at
the top of phones out there where you put your
finger in it and then you move the dial on
the number and then it goes and goes back to
the point and then you knew it again and go
back to the point. And here he's dialing the phone,

(01:49:49):
but he's not really dialing the phone, like he puts
the coin in and he sticks his finger in the
slot where it is, but the thing doesn't move, and
he only does it from the top like he's dialing,
not nine nine eight seven nine nine nine, Like it's
it's just really ridiculous and like irksome what it is.
But of course, you know, like I said, it's just

(01:50:10):
the small things that bother me when it comes to
things in these movies. And Wheeler is listening outside and
Myron actually finds out that all the information that he
needs to figure out the lawyer. Now, if it was
up to me in the way that it's done, what
would you do if you were head of the family.
Why wouldn't you just think at least what you would
think would happen. I guess would happen this situation where

(01:50:31):
I would think that they would try to call and
get that stuff released to the family and pretend that
they're him. Now that they got the secret password and
everything with the name of the dog of the family
is just call up the lawyer and be like, look,
I need you to send the letter back to me, right,
And then the lawyer be like, why would you You've
asked me to keep on with this entire time? What's
the secret password? Elvis p Resley? Oh okay, well you

(01:50:55):
must be associate with him, so okay, we'll send it
like stupid shit like that. But no, instead he decides
to send Otis and Wheeler down there to the lawyer,
and so they go over I guess to go get
a train ticket, and we got ridiculous guy behind the
hounter with like cross eyes when he's looking at him
like hello, thar all right? We're gonna get you that

(01:51:16):
train ticket. What's going on over there? So they order
the train tickets, and then there's like a random pretty
lady that walks by, because Otis looks over goes pretty
lady and like kind of smiles at him for a bit,
but kind of looks like Loretta at the same time.
And so they get the train tickets and then they
go into the office in one of the funniest fucking

(01:51:39):
scenes in the movie, because I'm gonna play the whole
scene with the lawyer. You're gonna hear it in just
a second. But like the lawyer's secretary is there, nobody
goes and sees whatever the fuck his name is without
an appointment, and Otis just like winds up and knocks
the ever loving shit for just like, here's my appointment, bitch, boom.

(01:52:00):
She just violence against women is never funny except for
when it happens in a ridiculous movie like this, And
I was just I was laughing so hard when it happened,
I had to pause the movie. And just because it's
like he just knocks her out. In the next scene
is her with her legs up in the fucking air
as they approached to the lawyer and basically torture him

(01:52:22):
and to get the letter from him and eventually actually
kill the poor guy.

Speaker 17 (01:52:26):
Well, I'm sorry, but mister Rascoe doesn't see anybody without
an appointment, and he doesn't see just anybody.

Speaker 1 (01:52:38):
Killer.

Speaker 11 (01:52:39):
You wasn't breaking into my office like this has a week,
Martha Rascal. Yeah, that's correct, mister Bowen's letter.

Speaker 13 (01:52:46):
Get it.

Speaker 11 (01:52:47):
Hey, I don't know what you're calling.

Speaker 1 (01:52:50):
Hey, that's one okay, the safe it's it's just in
the safe.

Speaker 8 (01:52:58):
I'll get it, I'll get.

Speaker 18 (01:52:59):
It, get it, okay, all right, yeah, yeah, I don't
even know what's in it.

Speaker 11 (01:53:15):
Shit, what are you copies?

Speaker 1 (01:53:20):
That's it?

Speaker 4 (01:53:21):
There ain't nothing.

Speaker 18 (01:53:22):
Oh God, please, please God, I swear, please please there
there ain't no copies.

Speaker 4 (01:53:29):
I ain't got no.

Speaker 11 (01:53:33):
That's three copies.

Speaker 8 (01:53:34):
How could I make you believe me?

Speaker 1 (01:53:38):
Okay? Now, the poor dude here, he's getting his fingers
fucking broken off. He breaks one, that's one, breaks the segment.
That's two, and he's like, dude, I have no more copies,
nothing else going on. Breaks the thurf that's three. What
do I do to convince you? And that otis just
fucking kills him, just snaps his fucking neck. Poor guy,
he's just there crying. He gets to see Wheeler in

(01:53:58):
his fucking eyes because Wheeler is reading out so that
Myron can see that he's got the letter in from him.
The poor lady, I guess she got knocked out enough
to be fucking killed over there, and it's just like
it's a weird scene but it's kind of a funny
scene at the same time. But it's also messed up
for the poor lawyer because he got his fucking fingers
broken and she just left him at his but Otis

(01:54:20):
just finishes up the fucking job and ends up killing
him anyway, So fuck should have just gone there beat
the shit out of him, like you know, he is
okay to do the first part to break his finger,
but I guess it is like a torture scene, and
ultimately he ends up killing him when they find out
that they have no copies and then just killed him
off because you know, they can't tell anything of what's

(01:54:42):
what's going on. But it's just funny because he goes
that's three and then immediately after three he snaps his
fucking neck, so they got a copy of the letter.
They they're now going back home to deliver what they
have over myron over there, and we cut back to
Lance and Loretta once again inside the storeroom. Can you

(01:55:03):
guess what they're doing? Well, they're fucking once again. And
of course this is the perfect time for Lance to
make a proposal to go Loretta in the middle of
them having their coitus.

Speaker 22 (01:55:15):
Lance, Baby, Yeah, honey, I gotta be I gotta be honest. Sure, huh,
I'm getting I'm getting a bit frustrated.

Speaker 6 (01:55:27):
Well, Scott, and I'm doing the best that I am.

Speaker 22 (01:55:30):
Not about that, I mean about doing it down here
at the cream corn.

Speaker 6 (01:55:36):
What's the what's.

Speaker 14 (01:55:38):
The point of murdering your husband if you can't fucking
a bit?

Speaker 12 (01:55:41):
Can you hear what I'm saying?

Speaker 6 (01:55:42):
Oh, yeah, I hear you.

Speaker 13 (01:55:44):
And I've been thinking about us, thinking, yeah, honey, about us?

Speaker 12 (01:55:49):
What's that mean?

Speaker 6 (01:55:51):
What's that mean?

Speaker 12 (01:55:52):
You've been thinking about us? Just what's there to think about?

Speaker 6 (01:55:56):
Scarlett? You do have a suspicious mind?

Speaker 13 (01:56:01):
Come on, come on, losing the rhythm here, fun fine,
Like I said, I've been thinking, yeah, you go ahead
and tell me about you and me? And yeah, and uh,
well where are we're going from here?

Speaker 12 (01:56:12):
And where do you figure that's gonna be.

Speaker 6 (01:56:14):
And I gotta tell you true.

Speaker 12 (01:56:16):
God knows we wouldn't want no dishonesty.

Speaker 6 (01:56:18):
Oh no, cut that out, now, cut that out.

Speaker 8 (01:56:20):
Just what is it?

Speaker 4 (01:56:20):
I'm a cutting I'm.

Speaker 6 (01:56:22):
Trying to tell you true. You are the only honey
bear for me. That's right.

Speaker 13 (01:56:27):
You make all the mother girls like on TV and
stuff look like a bunch.

Speaker 6 (01:56:31):
Of ugly old sound.

Speaker 4 (01:56:34):
Lance.

Speaker 8 (01:56:35):
You mean sure as shit, baby.

Speaker 7 (01:56:37):
From now on, it's Lance and Loretta till death do
us part. Oh Lance, Yeah, baby, I want you to
be missus Lance Boggin, that is, if you hadn't.

Speaker 4 (01:56:49):
Oh Lance, I'll have you all, hold you up to you.

Speaker 2 (01:56:53):
Yes, yes, yes, Oh let me see it, Let me
see it.

Speaker 12 (01:57:03):
The ring, show me the ring?

Speaker 13 (01:57:06):
Oh yeah, Oh well I don't actually have you didn't
get a ring?

Speaker 6 (01:57:12):
Yeah? Uh?

Speaker 12 (01:57:13):
Oh shit, Lands you sure do? You knew how to
de romanticize a thing.

Speaker 6 (01:57:18):
Oh now, Scarlet, don't be like that. Now.

Speaker 13 (01:57:23):
I thought about it, you know, and well I didn't
want to buy you some ring you know that you
wouldn't like.

Speaker 6 (01:57:30):
Then you'd be stuck with it the rest of your life.

Speaker 13 (01:57:33):
Now, see this way I thought, and we go together,
you know, pick out something you like.

Speaker 12 (01:57:40):
Well, jeez, Louise, Lance, that's sure was practical of you.

Speaker 6 (01:57:43):
Oh now, come on, honey, don't be like this. You
see that right there? You see that?

Speaker 13 (01:57:52):
Go ahead, you hit me right there, just go ahead,
come on, hit me right wow?

Speaker 6 (01:57:58):
Oh all right, all right, you feel better? Yeah, I'm forgiving.

Speaker 4 (01:58:08):
Honey, you can chose lakes ups fatter.

Speaker 1 (01:58:11):
So he decides to propose to her, which she's kind
of upset about because he doesn't have a ring ready,
and it seems like it's more just off the top
of his head. But again, it's just them them fucking.
That's the reason why we play the scenes so that
you can hear them fucking once again. I just how
many times? How many times is this movie? Is it

(01:58:32):
just them gonna be going at it? But yeah, I mean,
it'd be nice to just solve a I don't know,
an argument or an upset situation like and just let
her hit you. You know, that's a good status for
a relationship that you got going on there. And what
if she finds somebody that's better than Lance. I mean,
she was cheating on her husband for so long with
him that the fact that you know, all of a

(01:58:53):
sudden now she's okay with him, like, you know, being there,
But what if she gets tired of fucking him? What
if he doesn't feel up like she used to because
now they're married. What if marriage is her kryptonite and
she decides she's gonna go and find somebody else that
she's gonna keep there and you know, because you know,
then she's gonna get rid of Lance when she's tired
of Lance, because Lance isn't doing what he wants unless

(01:59:14):
that's really the way that you know she wants to
go is that she should have been with him first, right,
So she feels better now that she's beat the ever
loving shit of him, and you know, they're gonna go
be together and they're gonna be together forever. And I
don't know, I'm just kind of tired of watching them fuck.
To be honest, I'm glad this is the very last

(01:59:35):
time that they're gonna be, you know, doing this type
of thing. So they leave, they kiss, they go outside.
He gets a phone call and he gets a call
from you know, the from Myron directly tell him that
he's gonna have a deposit and then he's gonna have
to be alone and he's gonna get it later, and
he's kind of like, what the hell's going on here?
So we go back over to his apartment where he's

(01:59:55):
waiting around and he's calling and talking with the Loretta
and he's telling Reredda, look, thing's gonna go be going wrong.
Everything's gonna be fine, but I have to be by
myself for a little while. Don't worry. We'll get to
our fucking later, right, And then he hears the knock
at the door, tells that he's got to go, and
who shows up, but you know, Ernestina. She comes, dropping

(02:00:16):
off the money, drops it off the bed, and then
she seduces him first by dropping the floor, kissing his feet,
and then fucking him. And we get to get the
POV from his shot of her being on top of him,
and I again I have to posit the question is
this like fucking Myron? Like would you want to if

(02:00:37):
you found out that they were connected? You know that psychically,
this is the way that he's basically telling her what
to do, and he's living vicariously through her, and like
watching him watching him go down on you know, watching
her go down on him, I should be saying rather
than like, you know, And then watching her riding him
on top. Meanwhile, we have Wheeler outside listening the whole

(02:01:00):
situation that's going on here, and here's the second pair
of tits in the movie that you've got. And then
while everything's going on, he's busy cheating on the retta
with her. Then Otis suddenly shows up and punches him
in the face and knocks him the fuck out, Like
is that what you you want to experience if you
were Myron? Like this is the closest like human contact

(02:01:21):
that you're gonna be. You get to be both sexes
at the same time. This movie ahead of its time,
I don't really know. So after Otis knocks off or
knocks out Lance, after Lance gets his rocks off with Ernestina,
then we cut over to Otis who's looking over at
Loretta sleeping on her bed. And this is where it's funny,
because this is basically the same fucking set, just another bed,

(02:01:44):
and then maybe from a different angle inside the same
fucking room that we've got there, and Otis looks at her,
wakes her up, like calling her pretty girl, and he's like, no,
I'm not gonna hurt you, but you've got to come
with me, and so he kidnaps Loretta and then you know,
he tries to stop himself, but Myron ends up overpowering
him and he ends up grabbing the girl and taking

(02:02:06):
him with her. We then end up inside of the
underground lab of Myron and the crew that's there and Lance.
He's been caught, so has Loretta, and they're all downstairs
there as we get to see Myron slowly starting to
get his revenge on Lance. But Lance, of course, also
has something smart to say in protecting himself.

Speaker 6 (02:02:28):
Nail this key, Risley, you found Rascal.

Speaker 17 (02:02:33):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 6 (02:02:34):
We litt overhear the phone call.

Speaker 8 (02:02:36):
Mm hm from the alley outside.

Speaker 6 (02:02:39):
Oh, he does have good ears. So now you got
the letter.

Speaker 8 (02:02:44):
The letter is gone, mister Rascal is gone. You, on
the other hand, mister Bogan, are going to be around
for quite some time. I'm not normally a vindictive person,
but in your case, I'm going to make an exception.
But don't you worry. You won't have to go through
it alone.

Speaker 4 (02:03:04):
Oh my god, don't you worship a bear.

Speaker 8 (02:03:07):
Everything's gonna be just fine. Your bow's optimism notwithstanding missus.
Oh it's a little worry. Wouldn't be totally out of
keeping with your current situation.

Speaker 12 (02:03:16):
Oh my god, it talks.

Speaker 8 (02:03:17):
Oh yes, it talks, and pretty soon you're both going
to find out what else it does. I think it
would be appropriate to start with your little honey cake, lamb,
sweetie whatever else you call her.

Speaker 23 (02:03:31):
I don't think so you don't uhmar You see, you
made one mistake.

Speaker 8 (02:03:36):
And what's that? Mister upside down Bogan?

Speaker 23 (02:03:39):
Problem is you're so smart and all you automatically think
everybody else is a dope.

Speaker 8 (02:03:45):
If I believe it, it's because experience has shown it to
be true.

Speaker 6 (02:03:48):
You underestimate people like me, mister Bogan.

Speaker 8 (02:03:53):
It is impossible to imagine that I could underestimate you.

Speaker 6 (02:03:57):
See there, now you're doing it again. So you rascal,
what'd you think?

Speaker 20 (02:04:01):
I just lay everything out for him, and that figure
that you'd find him eventually.

Speaker 8 (02:04:06):
I have to admit it. You're fast on your uh
on your feet. But whatever little story you're going to spin,
it isn't going to get you all the pneumatic missus
oates out of this particular pickle. Pretty girl, quiet, go on,
mister Bogan.

Speaker 1 (02:04:28):
So he's caught good old Lance and he's got him
in his little underground laboratory where he's got him on
a table and he's upside down, and then they bring
in Loretta and he basically is you know, the cat
and mouse game is continuing here because Lance is basically
telling him, hey, you know, do you think I was
like that fucking stupid that I would only have it

(02:04:48):
in one place? As we're gonna find out, and a
little bit more is going to continue talking and running
his fucking mouth. But now Loretta is brought into the
picture and he's brought out and she tries to run away,
and I love how she freaks out. In the beginning,
she's like looks around, it's like, oh my god, and
then sees Myron, Oh my god. You know, there's this big,
giant head and it's it's kind of cheesy because he's
superimposed onto the screen that's there, right, and he definitely

(02:05:11):
looks out of place. They're not gonna use like the
puppet that they're gonna use later on in the film,
and they use towards the beginning of the film, and
they're really trying to like show him off in this
little scene and it doesn't look that terrible, but you
can tell that it's super imposed and this is probably
because it's newer technology versus the older thing that's going
on in the movie. And YadA, yeah, YadA for everything

(02:05:32):
that's there. But the set looks like really fucking basic.
You know, it's just like stone wall in the back
or brick, not brick, but like cave walls that are
there in the back. And the cheesiest fucking table that
looks like it's just made out of cardboard where it's
cardboard on top of another table that's there, and you know,
him there with his giant fucking hands and on the

(02:05:53):
little wheelchair thing that's going there, and I just like
it's silly, it's funny. But again, it's the conversation between
Myron and Lance that's actually relatively interesting, right, and that
now we've got Loretta into the mix, we're gonna have
to wonder and see exactly what the plan is moving
forward and how Lance is gonna react when Myron tries

(02:06:15):
to bring the fact that you know, and I'd love
to how he responds, and he's so like, you know,
sarcastic about all these things that are colored. Because I'm
ficking tired of the honeybear Angel lips honey boom boom,
how the fucking baby talk that? That's right, Go get
a Myron, fuck him up, do something.

Speaker 20 (02:06:34):
Well, suppose there was another lawyer and he got another letter,
and he was given a couple of telephone numbers, and
he was told that, well, if Artie Rascal turns up
dead or missing.

Speaker 6 (02:06:47):
Why you give those numbers a call.

Speaker 20 (02:06:50):
If you don't hear anything in a couple of days,
then you take that letter on over to the state attorney. No, Myron,
you and me, we're on a dance floor for life.

Speaker 6 (02:07:05):
Oh come on, Maron, don't be like that. Just turn
me loose.

Speaker 23 (02:07:09):
I'll forget this all happened, called it a love spat.

Speaker 8 (02:07:13):
I'm afraid I can't do that, mister Bogan. This is
a matter of personal pride.

Speaker 6 (02:07:18):
High pride carries a high price, Myron.

Speaker 20 (02:07:21):
You don't want to cut off your nose to spite
your face, especially with a big old face like yours.

Speaker 8 (02:07:28):
Nevertheless, there is an alternative, mister Bogan, not less painful,
but in fact more so. Cast your mind back over
your amusing little monologue. There is I fear a slight
problem in your full proof plan.

Speaker 6 (02:07:41):
I'm listening.

Speaker 8 (02:07:42):
Oh good, for a minute, there I thought I was
boring you and you, my dear, are you following all this?

Speaker 12 (02:07:48):
I want to go home.

Speaker 8 (02:07:49):
Well, we all want many things. We're going to see
if we can find out exactly what the second lawyer's
name is. Sort of like a game, only with torture.

Speaker 6 (02:08:03):
Well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Speaker 8 (02:08:06):
No, I'm going to do what I wish to do.
You could avoid the painful inconvenience for you and your
little taut And as I said before, I think it's
only appropriate that she go first. What is the name
of the second lawyer?

Speaker 6 (02:08:21):
Well, now look who's calling. Who's stupid?

Speaker 20 (02:08:24):
No matter what I say and don't say, way, I
figured things gonna turn out pretty much the same way.

Speaker 23 (02:08:31):
So I say to you, go fuck yourself, big brain
Lance Please, sweet heart, you know how I feel about you.

Speaker 6 (02:08:38):
But telling him, I'm going to get us out of this.
Our only chance is if I keep my lip button.

Speaker 4 (02:08:44):
But what about me?

Speaker 6 (02:08:46):
I'm working on that, honey. I love you, Honey, I
love you two angel lips.

Speaker 1 (02:08:52):
Oh God, just shut the fuck up already. I'm second
tired of you two, and keep going back and love
you when you do it. Jesus fucking Christ would you guys,
just get a room. Await. You've already gotten a room
multiple times already, and there's been multiple instances of you
guys having sex all the time. Just just stop it.
Stop it with the baby names and everything that you've

(02:09:12):
got going on here. So, you know, he's trying to
play it cool, and he's basically, you know, even though
Myron is hitting there and Myron actually holds all the cards,
he's trying to what I feel like in these scenes,
trying to pretend in a way to get out of this,
like I've got another ace of my sleeve. Oh you
thought I only had one lawyer. I have multiple lawyers

(02:09:33):
and they're all going to get you. Ha ha. And Myron
basically starts to kind of call his bluff if it
is a bluff. If it isn't a bluff, then you
know what's gonna happen next is gonna totally suck, because
he's like, look, I'm tired of playing these games with you.
The only way that this is gonna end in torture,
And you know what, it's not gonna be you first.

(02:09:54):
It's going to be Loretta. So I'm gonna use everything
that I can to torture the shit out of her
to now make you talk. If she truly is your
love muffin Huggy Bunny, honey bear uga Ougasmoogie Kins, then
you'll want to give up the information so that she
doesn't die. And unfortunately that's not necessarily what Lance wants

(02:10:17):
to do. Lance is trying to keep his mouth shut
as much as he can, which causes Loretta to do
something drastic as she tries to seduce poor Myron over here.

Speaker 8 (02:10:28):
Oh this is truly touching. I can see, mister Bogan
that you clearly care about this woman. I mean, maybe
not as much as Ernestina. Oh, missus oates Son, I'm
sorry you don't know about your bow and Ernestina. They
were in how shall I put it, intimate proximity earlier

(02:10:50):
this evening.

Speaker 6 (02:10:52):
Lance, that was not my fault.

Speaker 13 (02:10:54):
Angel that female, she's got some sort of uncontrollable sexual power.

Speaker 6 (02:10:59):
I couldn't res myself.

Speaker 12 (02:11:01):
Oh tell me another.

Speaker 8 (02:11:03):
I think we've had enough shit chat. Get her ready
for the performance.

Speaker 12 (02:11:07):
Wait, wait, wait a second, I have something to say.

Speaker 8 (02:11:11):
I'm all is I have a confession to make, Please
do so.

Speaker 14 (02:11:18):
I've always been attracted to really intelligent.

Speaker 8 (02:11:21):
Men do tell it's true, I'll just shut up. Given
your attraction to mister Bogan, I frankly find it a
bit difficult to believe in you.

Speaker 14 (02:11:32):
Well, let's face it, he may not be much, but
he's about the best of the crop and knobs hollow.

Speaker 12 (02:11:38):
That is, except for you.

Speaker 8 (02:11:41):
I am flattered.

Speaker 12 (02:11:42):
Now, don't be like that. I'm serious.

Speaker 14 (02:11:45):
I'm not just looking for a physical thing, not that
I'd mind it, but it's the intellectual and the spiritual
that attracts me.

Speaker 8 (02:11:55):
Hi, I see and excite your spiritual desires.

Speaker 14 (02:12:05):
Oh, you give me all sorts of ideas well. I
can tell just by looking at you that you're a
take charge kind of guy, that you're a man that
can get things done.

Speaker 3 (02:12:14):
You're ready, you're making a fool of you.

Speaker 6 (02:12:16):
Should up.

Speaker 14 (02:12:18):
I know it must be real lonely, being so smart
and all. I know what it's like to be lonely,
not to feed in honest.

Speaker 1 (02:12:26):
So, all of a sudden, middle of nowhere, she's gonna
be like, oh my god, you're the most wonderful person
in the world. Like, come on, dude, really, really, this
is what we're resorting to. You win and you're gonna
I guess if you're gonna try to save your own hide,
you're gonna do whatever you fucking can, even if it
is slowly strip off your clothes, present your tits out

(02:12:49):
over to this giant head guy and to see if
you can seduce, seduce, seduce, you know, if she can
even get anything on this guy. Like it's it's so
ridiculous that this is the way it's gonna go, because
you know, Lance over here, he doesn't want to give
up the whole situation and basically, you know, fuck everything

(02:13:11):
up and get killed, because even he knows, like, look,
if I say anything, do you think that's really gonna
be good for us? I say it, he's gonna kill
us anyway, or tortures or whatever. At least this way,
I'll be able to survive until he gets what he wants,
and so will you. At least that's the impression that
he's trying to give to her, right, Like, listen, babe,

(02:13:32):
just go along with what I'm saying, and everything is
going to be all right. But of course she doesn't
necessarily believe that, and she hears the word torture, and
she hears the words you're first, I would do whatever
I have power here go a ed. Want to see avadge?
When's the last time you saw a vad? You want
to see a butthole, I'll show you my butthole. You
want a free subscription to my only fans? Here you go.

(02:13:54):
You can have it. You can get anything you want premium.
I don't care. I'll show you everything, all the videos
that I took with lance of us. Fucking you can
watch us any time you want to. Oh, oh, you
want me to give you a tattoo? Oh you want
to actually put a tattoo on my in a right
butt cheek that says Myron was here, go the right ahead,
go ahead and do it. In fact, here, here's the needle.

(02:14:15):
I'll put that in your hand. Right here, I'll bend over,
I'll spread them nice and wide. Do whatever. Just don't
fucking torture me. Go ahead. Whatever you want to poke
my fart box with your tongue, that's perfectly fine. I
don't care. You do what you want to do, boo,
because I think you're smart and being smart is sexy.
And so she continues to try to seduce him, But

(02:14:39):
does it really begin to work on Myron?

Speaker 8 (02:14:42):
And do you think you can fill my lonely owls.

Speaker 12 (02:14:46):
Oh, I know I can. I can make you happy,
you can, Oh, just give me a chance.

Speaker 8 (02:14:52):
What about mister Bogen.

Speaker 12 (02:14:55):
He betrayed me.

Speaker 6 (02:14:56):
That was physical?

Speaker 12 (02:14:58):
Why mon I can't and call you myron? Can't I?

Speaker 14 (02:15:02):
Oh? Ever, since the first time I ever laid eyes
on you, I said to myself, there's somebody special. He
ain't a member of the herd. He's a man that
goes his own way. You scared me, but a real
man's always scared to a woman.

Speaker 12 (02:15:15):
It's true.

Speaker 8 (02:15:17):
Really, well, this is olds call me Loretta.

Speaker 3 (02:15:24):
Very well, Loretta.

Speaker 8 (02:15:28):
I have to confess it has been a lonely road.
I mean, I am mostly intellect, but you see, I
am a man as well.

Speaker 12 (02:15:43):
I just want to be close to you, the honey.

Speaker 24 (02:15:49):
No one has ever said that to me before. Oh
you are not. You are not taking fan to chuff me,
are you?

Speaker 6 (02:16:03):
Old Redda?

Speaker 8 (02:16:04):
This is revolted should.

Speaker 14 (02:16:05):
Have while I'm iron, Honey, I'd never take advantage. I'm
just just just express my true feelings.

Speaker 1 (02:16:14):
Okay, you're not the best actress in the world Theretta,
when it comes to this stuff, and you're not really convincing.
And I feel like in this scene I don't know
if they're really trying to like show that Myron really
is falling for this shit, or if he's not, or
if he's just like playing with her because he understands

(02:16:36):
what she's doing, because he does seem to be like
a little sarcastic in the way that he's like talking
back to her. Oh you mean you really like me?
Really you're not afraid of me? Oh well, Dlan, some
people are afraid of strong men. That's just what strong
men do. Oh and you're not just using me for

(02:16:57):
some other nefarious reason. No, not at all. Never, I
would never ever do that to you. Ha ha ha ha, honey,
Like come on, okay, Like he has to be in

(02:17:19):
on the joke for himself, right, like trying to get
her to be like everything's okay and it's seen. It
kind of seems that way when it leads up to
one of the most disgusting scenes that I've seen in
a movie in a long time. And that's when he
starts like licking his lips because she's removed the top
of her nightgown because she's just there in her nightgown
when ODIs stole her and she's revealing her tits to
him and like flashing and stuff, and he starts licking

(02:17:42):
his list and then all of a sudden he sticks
his tongue out and his tongue gets like extra long,
and it's all slimy and gross. And then there's a
close up shot on her tit and then all of
a sudden he like licks it ever so slowly, and
she's just like back there, her eyes are getting wider,
and she just like accepts it, and it's just it's

(02:18:03):
pretty damn disgusting and it definitely adds on the gross
meter for the way that this movie is. And just
like the it's you think, it's how slimy and gross
and it like perfectly like cups her breast and licks
up the top of it, like they did a pretty
good job with the puppetry for this, or maybe it's
a finger inside of whatever it is, so it perfectly

(02:18:26):
like cups the way that it is. And then his
response is, oh, yeah, oh that was great. Ah. But
unfortunately for Loretta, uh, she you know, failed her seduce role,
and so she fails completely.

Speaker 13 (02:18:47):
And you have.

Speaker 14 (02:18:49):
No ulterior motive, no motive, no, no, not at all.

Speaker 12 (02:18:55):
I just want to be yours for Ampha.

Speaker 8 (02:18:59):
Well, Loretta, you are, without a doubt extremely entertaining. I
can't exactly see what it is that you do, but
I can see that you do it very well. Unfortunately,

(02:19:19):
I'm just too busy, what with my ongoing plans for
world domination at all to take time out for romance. No, darling,
I'm afraid it'll just have to be death, my tortures planned.

Speaker 4 (02:19:38):
Now hold on, please just give me a chance.

Speaker 16 (02:19:41):
How can make you happy?

Speaker 12 (02:19:43):
You're my dream boat?

Speaker 4 (02:19:44):
Just let me give you.

Speaker 8 (02:19:47):
You'll have to excuse me, mister Bogan. I have preparations
to make for the performance.

Speaker 1 (02:19:54):
And so, yeah, she completely fails, and I just love
the response. I doesn't go oh oh, I don't know
what you really bring to the whole situation or what
exactly do you but you're a ton of fun. I
think this could work out. Oh wait, I'm just too
fucking busy. I guess it's just gonna be had to
be torture's death. That's the only thing that we have

(02:20:14):
to do. And then he's like plans of world domination,
which he's never expressed before in the entire film, Like
they've never talked about anything. You know, there's no little
sidebar where he's like, you know, while I'm here to
get like conquered the world like that. The whole plan
that he had was to find the perfect body so
he could transfer his brain into the body, and that
was it, like, so he could become human, like that

(02:20:37):
was the reason for his experiments. But now all of
a sudden, it's because of world domination. It's because of things,
and that's the reason why. I don't fucking know. But
we're getting towards the end of the movie, and the worst,
the absolute worst part of this movie that I wish
they had just completely thrown out, because this just feels

(02:20:59):
like something that they thought, Ah, this would be funny,
this would be interesting, we'll just throw it in there.
It's quirky and whatever it is. Instead of just like
torturing her to death, they decide to torture the whole
fucking audience. And I thought about going through the whole
thing that's here, and I was just looking at it,

(02:21:19):
and I was like, oh, man, I had to be
tortured with this. I don't want to torture you guys
with this situation either. So we're just gonna do a
portion of it. The most important portion of the whole thing.
But basically, you heard at the end of the clip
they're talking about a performance, and so what's the performance
that they're gonna do. There is a funny joke at

(02:21:40):
the beginning, and basically, you know, he brings Lance into
a room and it's like a little feater that's there,
and Lance is like, what is this some type of
weird home feeder and he's like, no, back in the day,
my grandfather actually used to have performers come through here.
Did you know back in the day John Wilkes Booth
was here performing handlet And then Lance look at him.

(02:22:01):
He's like, uh, before after he shot Lincoln, and Myron
just like the fuck you say he had, dumb motherfucker?
Of course it was before he was killed, after he
killed fucking Lincoln. Oh oh that's right. I totally forgot.
I'm not that smart. I think i'm smart, but I'm
not that smart. And so they give begin a performance

(02:22:25):
of Joan of Arc and they make some stupid jokes
that are in there too that just not necessarily hah funny,
but they're like eh, and then you have to sit
through a bunch of the performance and what he's done
is he's taken all the people that he lobottomized downstairs
or that he did surgery on, and he's having them

(02:22:45):
perform the play right, and ultimately what he's going to
do is he's using the play to torture Loretta, to
get Lance to tell him who the other lawyer or
lawyers actually are in the situation, so that he can
and I guess, then start doing his experiments on Lance
and actually getting the information that's out there. And so

(02:23:08):
you have them come through, and he even says he's like,
you know, I normally wouldn't use I had one other person,
but she just kept saying snow, snow, snow, and so
I can't use her anymore. And they make some jokes
about the people on stage and how dumb they are,
you know, just like in here, they've been using the
word retard a lot, and that's what basically what they

(02:23:28):
call the people on stage, and you know, it's it's
just terrible because you're listening to the guys Go and Dullavac.
They have you here and you're gonna hear some of it,
but that's just like a lot of it. And then
there's the jokes that she's not a good actress, and
she's being forced to be on stage and there's a

(02:23:49):
bunch of smoke all the place to again, random fucking smoke,
and there's no fucking fire that's going on here, and
she's being brought out and paraded and basically she's playing
the role of Joan of Arc in this little play.
As they they're going back and forth and we have
them all you know else on stage where one guy's

(02:24:09):
holding the lines that she's gonna say, another guy that's
gonna be the one that's gonna be lighting everything on fire.
And then one random woman that's there that I swear
is just Ernestina in another fucking outfit that is holding
the rope that's gonna bind her when she's at the stage,
so you know, and every time she doesn't go along
with the lines, he shocks her because she's wearing a

(02:24:31):
shot collar around her neck. So it gets to the
point that, you know, Lance just will not say who
the lawyer is. So they decide that it's time to
finish up the play and get to the finale. Before
the finale's even done, and that's when they're gonna finish
up the final torture of Loretta on stage.

Speaker 25 (02:24:51):
See citizens of Ruad, behold the price of a witch,
daughter of safety. Confess, I pray thee and save thy soul.

Speaker 14 (02:25:07):
Oh fuck off, ow hold it steady, half bray, Oh
noble sir, I am but a simple country maid. Oh jeez, Louise, Lance,
God damn.

Speaker 4 (02:25:22):
It telling you the lawyer.

Speaker 13 (02:25:23):
I'm sorry, honey, that's my only bargain at you.

Speaker 6 (02:25:26):
You hang in there, honey, lips, Hang in.

Speaker 12 (02:25:28):
There, Hang in there.

Speaker 4 (02:25:30):
I gotta kill you, son of a bitch.

Speaker 12 (02:25:31):
Call jimmy fucking cricket.

Speaker 10 (02:25:33):
Now what.

Speaker 4 (02:25:35):
Lance, A.

Speaker 14 (02:25:38):
Country made, simple country maid. My soul is God's, and
his angels will welcome me to paradise.

Speaker 12 (02:25:45):
He knows the secrets of my heart as no man.

Speaker 4 (02:25:48):
Hold it steady, every shall.

Speaker 14 (02:25:52):
Though flames shall consume me, my face shall not fail.

Speaker 12 (02:25:55):
Oh, flame shall consume me.

Speaker 4 (02:25:58):
Holy shit, Lance.

Speaker 8 (02:26:00):
Mister Bogan. As you can see, we are rapidly approaching
the climax of our little dramatic tableau. Tell me the
name of the second lawyer.

Speaker 6 (02:26:08):
Ying gonna start a fire in the stage. You'll burn
your whole house down.

Speaker 8 (02:26:12):
Your concern for my residence is touching. But don't you worry.
I've taken every precaution to fireproof the stage. Thence we'll
remove the smoke. Helen extinguishes will remove the flames. After
the play is over. Nothing will be permanently damaged, with
the exception of Missus Oates. Oh God lands he kin,
she's right, I ain't kidding. Tell me the name of

(02:26:35):
the second lawyer. Tell me the name of the second lawyer.

Speaker 4 (02:26:42):
No, what is Jesus fucking Christ?

Speaker 8 (02:26:47):
Proceed with the burning?

Speaker 12 (02:26:48):
No no, wait, wait wait, I ask to hear more lines.

Speaker 8 (02:26:51):
That alone, Missus Oates is sufficient motivation to proceed. Mister
coshaw your line.

Speaker 26 (02:26:58):
Please, By the sorryincy of the Holy Church, I condemn
thee to death by burdening Joan made of armies, made
the devil receive thy soul.

Speaker 1 (02:27:17):
So remember when I said I don't think that I'm
gonna see any Genitalian in this movie. I lied because
when they go and strap her up to the steak
that's on the stage and then they strip her of
all her clothes, everything is laid out. I mean, she's
got a nice little like you know, tuft of pubic

(02:27:38):
hair there, but you can clearly see vetch. I mean,
you can't like see into it, but you can see
it out there. And I was super surprised that you
could even see that remotely, like with it on stage.
It's not like I went and I paused it and
I went and stared and put my face Hella close

(02:27:59):
to the TV or the computer screen when I was
getting the audio or anything like that. I didn't pose
it on a certain screen. But it's clear as day
it's sitting right there. She can't the way that she's
being tied up, you know, to the damn thing. She
can't really cross her legs that well, you know, but
it's there. It's not like it's seventies bush where it's

(02:28:20):
all the way down and you can't see anything because
it's a wild fucking forest that she's got below you know,
her waistline. But it's definitely there. And I was like, wow,
that that's interesting. So Lance won't give it away, he
won't tell who the second lawyer is, and so they
finally decide that they're just gonna set the stage on fire.

(02:28:43):
And even though Lance says, you're not gonna do that
because you burn down your house, He's like, nope, I've
got everything planned. So one of the the bottom eyes
guys sets the torch on fire and then lights the
wood below her on fire, which starts burning Loretta. And
that point Otis can't stands no more, and so Otis
doesn't want to see the pretty lady get hurt, so

(02:29:03):
he breaks free from whatever control that Myron has on
top of him, runs down to the stage and grabs
Loretta and takes her off the the you know, off
the stage and saves her from burning, and then grabs
like one of the robes of the guys there and
goes downstairs with her, carrying her away, and he says,

(02:29:26):
look Theretta is not gonna burn. House is gonna burn.
And so he flips a random switch that's downstairs in
their weird laboratory area that's there, and starts a fire
inside of the house right, and then he starts to
escape with her out of I guess the bottom exit

(02:29:46):
of whatever their little like sex dungeon downstairs that it is.
Lance manages to break away from the hold since Otis
is no longer there, he breaks away from Wheeler, and
when he breaks away from Wheeler, he tries to grab
the back of Myron's chair to like mess with him,
but Myron runs away well drives away, and so when

(02:30:09):
we see the house being set on fire and a
bunch of the bottomized guys. And it's funny too because
at one point he's, you know, Otis is carrying Loretta.
And as he's carrying Loretta, they walk by Howard and
she's like Howard. He's like, Theretta, and then he just
kind of looks back down at his potato and then
they continue on forward. We go upstairs as Myron is

(02:30:32):
trying to you know, scuttle away in his wheelchair, and
Lance eventually does catch up to him. In the second
funniest part of this movie, he grabs the back of
the wheelchair and he's like, oh, you know, with all
that brain, I bet you don't get to go on
any great rides. You ready to go on the roller coaster, Myron?
And he rolls the wheelchair over to the edge of

(02:30:54):
the stairs and then just pushes it. The doll of
Myron flies across the screen and rolls down the stairs
until he bounce at the bottom of the stairs. It's
so bad, but it's fucking hilarious. And then there's a
close up shot of Myron with a bunch of blood

(02:31:16):
on his face, leaking out of his mouth as Lance
runs by him and says, thank you for the wonderful evening.
I'm sorry, I'm not gonna stay for dessert. He then
goes downstairs looking for Loretta and Otis to see if
he can save her, and he also runs into Howard,
and Howard looks at him and he's like Lance. He's like, hey, Howard,

(02:31:36):
I'll catch you later, Bud, I'm not gonna stay here
any longer. And then he continues to look for Loretta,
but then he sees Ernestina off to the side that
says please help me, and he's like, okay, I'll go
help you instead. Then he runs after Ernestina, and when
he runs and follows her, that's when Wheeler comes out

(02:31:57):
of the middle of nowhere like he was born in Fresno,
californa Rnian, with a knife in his hand, and he
starts shanking the shit out of Lance, and Lance eventually
breaks free from all the shanks pushes Wheeler away, who
knocks against the side of the cage and either dies
or gets knocked the fuck out, but Lance unfortunately succumbs

(02:32:18):
to his wounds and falls onto the ground and passes
out himself. So we then cut over and we see
that Ernestina is looking down at her brother Myron, who's
bleeding on the floor, and she's just staring at him
as the fires are raging around them, and eventually everybody

(02:32:39):
else succumbs to the fire on the inside, and we
cut to the outside where we see that Otis and
Loretta are the only two that survive the tire ordeal.
She holds his hand as the fires in the house rage,
and she looks and tries to walk away for him,
but Otis looks over her and he says, you know,

(02:33:01):
pretty girl, Otis. Otis pretty girl, and that's where she
gets the bright idea that you know what. Otis is
the last surviving member of the Stillborns and is the
only member that now would have access to the entire fortune.
So the movie itself ends with her basically getting married

(02:33:22):
to Otis, becoming his wife so that she can quote
unquote take care of him and get all the money
that she would have gone with she was with Lance,
and it ends with Lotus Otis having a maniacal laugh
at the very end of the movie as the credits
begin to.

Speaker 11 (02:33:39):
Roll, House Bird, Well, isn't that just great?

Speaker 12 (02:33:44):
Isn't that perfect?

Speaker 14 (02:33:46):
No, Howard, now, no, Lance, not that I would have
taken him back. Of course he did have ambition. I'll
give him that.

Speaker 12 (02:33:55):
Now, what's a girl to do?

Speaker 8 (02:33:57):
Pretty girl?

Speaker 14 (02:33:59):
Yeah, thanks for everything, Otis. I'll be seeing you around.

Speaker 8 (02:34:08):
Otis, pretty girl.

Speaker 14 (02:34:13):
Yeah yeah, you Tarza hand me Jane. I'm sure we
just make a swell couple.

Speaker 22 (02:34:24):
You Otis Stackpool, Me, Loretta Stackpole. You only surviving Stackpool
air me control Stackpool.

Speaker 3 (02:34:39):
Money, pretty Alretta, Otis.

Speaker 14 (02:34:45):
There comes a time in a girl's life for romance,
at a time for practicality.

Speaker 12 (02:34:49):
Do you understand what I'm saying?

Speaker 6 (02:34:52):
Uh?

Speaker 12 (02:34:53):
Well, that's okay, honey. Don't you worry none. You're a
little sweet. Loretta's gonna take care of everything, do.

Speaker 21 (02:35:03):
You, Loretta Kozlowski Oates, take this this man to be
your lawfully waded husband.

Speaker 11 (02:35:16):
I do, and do you?

Speaker 21 (02:35:23):
Otis Stackpool, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Speaker 6 (02:35:31):
O it is?

Speaker 8 (02:35:31):
Say I do?

Speaker 16 (02:35:37):
Oh well, I I now pronounce you man and wife.

Speaker 11 (02:35:47):
You you may kiss.

Speaker 12 (02:35:52):
We'll skip that part. Thanks anyway. There now is we're
married married. That's right. It's gonna be you and me together.
And I'm gonna take good care of you. I'm gonna
be real sweet.

Speaker 3 (02:36:08):
Sweet.

Speaker 8 (02:36:09):
That's right.

Speaker 12 (02:36:10):
So you see it all worked out in the end.

Speaker 14 (02:36:13):
Don't you just love a happy ending?

Speaker 1 (02:37:06):
And so that was Head of the Family, All all, well,
that ends well? Is that the saying that it's supposed
to be. But it's a silly movie. This is a
very silly movie. It's not really a horror movie. Like
I said, it's more of a comedy. It does have like,
you know, a little bit of a horror overtones, but
there's nothing. There's like, no jump scares, nothing that's really scary.

(02:37:29):
It's not really gory. It's got nothing but sex. It's
got a ton of teenage. This is a soft core
porn horror is basically what I view it as with
only having basically two parisitits in the entire movie. You
see multiple of the same pair, but that's basically what
you get. So if you find the Red acute and
you just want to watch softcore horror porn, hey here

(02:37:52):
you go. You've got this movie for you right away.
Is it bad, Yeah, it's it's pretty fucking bad. But
is it entertaining? It's very entertaining. I think this is
a very silly movie. It doesn't reach those levels of
it's so bad. It's good that it like it's super
high marks for me and that I'd like want to
watch it every so oftener show it to a bunch

(02:38:13):
of people. But if things in this sounded silly and
you kind of want to watch it, it's worth going
on to be and watching this movie and spending the
time and doing it, and you know, it's it definitely
has good acting. I think it has some good bits
of dialogue in terms of the writing for the dialogue,

(02:38:33):
where it doesn't want to make you cringe, right, it
doesn't just because of what they're saying. It's like, oh,
you know those type of things. And there are some silly,
kind of cringey things that go on it. But honestly,
the scenes between Lance and Myron are pretty good overall.
I actually really enjoy the way that they interact with
each other, and I think the two actors are having

(02:38:55):
fun with each other and kind of bouncing off of it.
And the dude that plays Lance, actually he's probably having
the most fun out of everybody in this movie. And
even Loretta, like she's very energetic and she's really getting
into the role, which means it's probably a relatively good
time on set, even if you have to be naked
for eighty five percent of this movie and pretend that

(02:39:15):
you're having sex for almost every scene that you're in
this goddamn movie. So I think that there are a
couple things, Like I don't have a whole lot to
say in terms of like things you could do to
make the script better. The only thing that I could
say is, like, we didn't need to hear about him,
you know, Myron talking about role domination when they never

(02:39:36):
really expressed anything like that in the entire movie right
up until that one point. You could just fucking get
rid of that Joan of arc play. Why don't you
just torture her with the other people in front of him,
like slowly but surely, instead of going through something that's
quirky and just terrible. That is that is literally the
worst part of this movie. And it's a slog to

(02:39:58):
go through, and it's like ten minutes long. Like really,
we're like we're getting towards the end of the movie
and there's still like twenty minutes left of this movie.
What else are they gonna do? Oh, they're gonna do
a really shitty play. It's like in Blood Talls when
you had all like the music video type scenes, but
even those were like enjoyable and cheesy, and here this

(02:40:20):
is just not enjoyable. It's just it's bad. I just
did not like that part at all. I would have
rather spent more time with the back and forth between
Myron and Lance and just had that and be done
with it completely right. You just have him, you know,
going and trying to torture Loretta until Otis couldn't take

(02:40:41):
it anymore, and then boom, Bob's your uncle. Otis does
what he does as they're gonna set her on fire
or whatever it is. You know, you could have even
just had her up there and you know, on the pole,
tied to it and slowly but surely you know, them
doing stuff and then they're gonna light it on fire
or whatever it is. But I didn't need the play.

(02:41:01):
The play is just boring and it's just not worth it.
And there's actually one section a clip that I had
that I skipped because as much as it explains what's
going on, it's just it's too long for what exactly
it's trying to express, which is basically, here's the play,
this is my family stuff, and I'm going to torture

(02:41:24):
Loretta until you say shit like and just some stupid
jokes that went in between, and it just adds to
kind of the long boringness of the play in general.
So in terms of rating this movie, the gore is like,
I would give it a one out of five because
while you do see like the face with the eye

(02:41:45):
and stuff, it's so cheesy, it doesn't really look super
gory and there is nothing else in the movie that
is gory. That's the only thing that's relatively gore worthy.
If you want and you want to add the nudity
to it this movie, then you can probably bump it
up to a three. So it's a movie. I wouldn't
show this to my sixteen year old daughter. If I
was in it and I was pretending to be fucked

(02:42:06):
by some other guy constantly and constantly nude, that's just me, right,
But I definitely wouldn't show it to you know, if
I have things about nudity and my children, I wouldn't
show it to my children. But it's not bad, and
it's mostly overall silly in general, and there's things that
kids can laugh about. But that part of the movie

(02:42:29):
is just too much. It's like way too much, you know.
But if you're cool with that type of thing and
nudity doesn't bother you as much as violence, then hey,
there you go. This is a movie that you could
show your kids, right And I know people have different
thoughts and everything on the way that goes. You know, personally,
I'd be like, you know, it'd be like me watching

(02:42:50):
Heavy Metal with my dad where he didn't really know
what the movie was, and then you know, I get
there and it's like an awkward situation sitting there with
my dad while there's a bunch of cartoon tits on screen.
That's the way that the feeling would be if I
was showing this to a kid that I had that
was like fifteen or sixteen. And you know, but if
you been watching horror movies for a long time with

(02:43:10):
your kids and they've seen a bunch of stuff, it's
not gonna be anything that's bad, and they're probably honestly
not gonna like the movie at all if they're just
not into like old school eighties cheesy full Moon well
nineties in this case, but full Moon Pictures types of movies.
Right in terms of the crap factor, it's a four
out of five. It's just it's got that full moon

(02:43:33):
glaze on top of it for everything that goes on,
cheap assets, you know, nonsensical story plots that go through,
you know, but it does have good acting. Actually, you know,
I'm gonna bump it down to a three because I
think the acting is pretty good in this movie. It's
funny enough, you know. The fun factor in this movie's
a four out of five. It's very fun. And if

(02:43:54):
it wasn't for that stupid joan of arc play that
went on towards the end of it, it would have
got a five out of five. But that thing's so
fucking boring and unneeded that I took away a whole
fucking point from the movie in general. And you know,
but I still think that you can have a very
fun time with this movie. And if you're a pervert
like Dave, then you'll love this movie. You'll love the

(02:44:14):
amount of T and A that's in it. And Dave's
not really a pervert. I thought i'd just throw that
in there because I'm pretty sure he's gonna laugh at
the references that I've given him throughout this whole episode.
So overall, I'm gonna give this a three out of
five tits an ass. That's what we're gonna get for
this movie. I think that that's a pretty solid It's
it's fun enough to watch. Maybe you watch it once

(02:44:37):
and if you didn't like it, oh well you I
think you'll still have a good time even if the
movie's really bad. But if it was just a little
more over the top and the way that it did things,
maybe if there were some more weird set things that
went on, some weird stuff in the background, that it
would be, you know, in that four out of five territory,
if he got up on the so bad it's good scale.

(02:44:58):
But instead it just hits an eye three out of
five area for this movie. So before we go on
to everything else and I give you a little bit
of everything going on, why don't we check in with
our good friend Will over here and see how he
enjoyed the ending of the movie.

Speaker 2 (02:45:16):
Yet, the problem with being a disembodied head is do
you always end up with body envy? I've seen it
a thousand times and hundreds of crappy horror movies.

Speaker 3 (02:45:26):
You get your head chopped up, keep.

Speaker 27 (02:45:28):
It alive, artificially, and your personality goes right out the window.
The problem is, there always seems to be some kind
of weird, freaky, dicky mutated brain powers involved.

Speaker 3 (02:45:39):
You take Walt Disney for example, not that Oh will.

Speaker 5 (02:45:41):
You please just shut up and find me a torso?
Or maybe do I have to destroy your DJ hook graph.

Speaker 2 (02:45:48):
You've just insulted your hosts, and that's a mistake, unless,
of course, you're doing regis.

Speaker 20 (02:45:52):
No.

Speaker 3 (02:45:53):
If are rude little.

Speaker 2 (02:45:54):
Mutant friend tries any of the big brain mental who are,
it'll back up on them faster than macaroni and cheese
with a red meat chaser.

Speaker 1 (02:46:06):
Shine by.

Speaker 4 (02:46:08):
Whoo ooh that slimy green stuff.

Speaker 27 (02:46:13):
You got anything that'll soak up that slimy green stuff?

Speaker 8 (02:46:17):
Oh? The script?

Speaker 3 (02:46:18):
Well I was spongey enough here, Let's try that.

Speaker 8 (02:46:20):
Ah it works.

Speaker 2 (02:46:25):
At any rate, when I'll officially say, from slimy mutants
at least until we meet again.

Speaker 1 (02:46:31):
See, well, like so much. That used the script for
the movie to soap up some mutant stuff. So yeah,
I mean, everybody knows this is cheesy. This is not
necessarily the greatest movie in the world, but hey, at
least it's relatively fun. So that's it for this episode
of the podcast. Hope you guys really enjoyed it for that,
and we do have to do a couple of things

(02:46:52):
before we end one. I do want to give you
an update myself. So to make a long story short,
I injured my foot. I basically I'm not sure exactly
what happened with the foot, but if anyway, and I'm
a Type two diabetic and I thought after I injured
my foot that I had cleaned it well enough and
I had gotten all this stuff out of there and

(02:47:13):
everything was much better. But after even seeing the doctor
and getting some antibiotics for the foot, it started to
swell really, really fucking bad, and so I ended up
going into the doctor and again and they sent me
to the er instead. And so when I went to
the er, they had to actually cut open my foot
and drain it because it had become infected. And so

(02:47:35):
it's something that you got to really watch out for
when you are diabetic, and it's something that I've done,
like to really maintain my blood sugar levels, make sure
that everything's good and it's okay. And so they were
very happy with that part of my body. Right. They
noticed that my blood sugar was really good, and then
it actually dropped really low. So a couple of times

(02:47:56):
were there because I wasn't eating and that I had
done a good job managing it. And you know, I've been,
like even the joking in the podcast, I have been
working on losing weight so that way that it helps
maintain that because at a better weight, the better the
blood sugar, YadA YadA, YadA yda like that that fun stuff.
So unfortunately, that's the reason why the podcast didn't come

(02:48:17):
out on time, is because I had an unexpected surgery.
And to give you an idea of what they did,
they basically cut the bottom of my foot open right
right on like the made front pad, and then to
cut the top of my foot open and they basically
cleaned it out. They took cultures of my skin and
they and then the flesh and the bone that was

(02:48:38):
in there. And the fortunate thing is that the infection
was only in the flesh. It didn't actually reach into
the bone, so I avoided that nightmare of a situation
because that could have been way way worse than what
it was. But I caught it early enough, and this
has actually helped a lot in terms of reducing the swelling,

(02:48:59):
reducing the pain that's there. And now I have to
wear a boot for the next couple of weeks while
watchually for the next month and a half really and
do recovery time with the whole thing. And so because
of that, you know, I'm going to have a couple
more days just at home. I'm not going to really
be able to do anything, go anywhere. But I did
get released from the hospital. I had the surgery on

(02:49:22):
the day that I record on the podcast, which would
have been Saturday the tenth, and then they released me
actually on Monday because they saw everything was fine and
there's a lot more to the story that's there, but
I'm giving the cliff notes version of everything that went on.
So and I really think the people that reached out
and actually, you know, wished me well. I definitely appreciate that.

(02:49:43):
And you know, I felt worse not being able to
do the podcast than fixing my foot, and I know
that's probably the dumbest thing in the world, but at
the same time, like I was really just like I
got to keep on schedule, because that's the way that
I think when it comes to things on the podcast.
So it's one of the reasons why I was able
to record today because I didn't have to go into work.

(02:50:04):
I'm not gonna be working for a little while, at
least two and a half weeks, and so hopefully that'll
give me some time to do a couple other things
that's there. So and that being said, because like I
said in the beginning, that that went through, and I'm
releasing this so late that I'm gonna give you the
trailer for the next episode that we're going to look
at in the following minuting episode. We're going to talk

(02:50:26):
about a last of the last Last of Us and
get all that stuff done, and maybe I'll go further
into what's going on and give you updates on what's
going on with the foot in that episode when we
get to that mini episode. But I decided it's still
full moontime. It's still the Charles band Marathon that we got,
Charles Bandathon that we've got going on here, and a
movie that I've never seen, and I know a lot

(02:50:48):
of people really enjoy this franchise in general from Full
Moon Pictures, and I thought, why the hell not, We're
gonna go look at the very first one released in
two thousand, direct to video, and that movie is of
course Killjoy. Yo, Michael, come.

Speaker 6 (02:51:12):
Down here for a second and to talk to you.
Do you want from me?

Speaker 1 (02:51:24):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (02:51:24):
Michael wanted to do was to fit in.

Speaker 8 (02:51:27):
You don't know how much I've been through my life, Jenny,
from the time I've been kicked on, pushed on, spit on, bully.
You have no idea.

Speaker 19 (02:51:41):
But when he realized that it would never.

Speaker 1 (02:51:43):
Happen, well, I leave Jed alone.

Speaker 22 (02:51:47):
I swear, he.

Speaker 19 (02:51:49):
Turned to the one thing he knew couldn't even the score,
a badass mofo from the horror hood No sounds, killed Joy.

Speaker 28 (02:52:05):
Wow, you never got at the field of the boat,
got a play.

Speaker 1 (02:52:13):
What they like?

Speaker 8 (02:52:15):
Are not doing?

Speaker 28 (02:52:16):
Like?

Speaker 19 (02:52:17):
You are a great danger from the evil that calls
himself kill Joy.

Speaker 3 (02:52:23):
Only the love of a young woman can destroy the evil.

Speaker 28 (02:52:27):
Harding your pipe. But I've never left and west, so
never see what's there come when they saw him, I
never They don't even.

Speaker 4 (02:52:44):
Yeah, kill Joy, you can't fucking kill me.

Speaker 6 (02:52:59):
Amar wrong, it.

Speaker 4 (02:53:03):
Coming soon.

Speaker 1 (02:53:10):
I fucking really love the song that's used in the trailer,
like I'm bobbing my head and everything like that with it.
And this seems perfectly cheesy and I cannot wait to
watch kill Joy and do kill Joy for this podcast
because I think it's gonna be fun. I think it's
gonna be way over the top based on what it is,
and it definitely has that. We filmed this in five days,

(02:53:32):
full moon production type of movie that we've got going
on here. So again, I thank everybody so much for
checking out this podcast. It does mean the world to me.
If you want to come out there and you want
to follow me on things, the best way to reach
me and to message me directly is gonna be through Instagram,
and that's Terrible Terror Podcast on Instagram. Since I have

(02:53:52):
this time off, I'm working on getting the review for
Centers up. Like I said earlier in the podcast, I
went and saw clown in a cornfield, but I'm not
gonna have the time to actually do a video for it,
so probably i'll talk about it later on on that
mini episode after everybody's kind of seen it and going through.
Because I was going to record that night this second half.
I always record the first half before I see the

(02:54:13):
movie and then I record the second half when I
come home. But I was so tired and my foot
was hurting so much. I'm like, I'll just do it tomorrow.
I whant to get home and then boom, Bob's your uncle.
I'm in the fucking hospital. So didn't record the second half.
It's now been a week since I saw the movie,
so I don't want to like misremember something or not
get a general reaction to the whole thing. But we'll
talk about it later on on a mini episode. For

(02:54:34):
everything that's there, you can check out if you're still
using Twitter, Tend to Score a Team to Score podcast
of course, Blue Sky Terrible Terrors out there on Blue Sky,
and you can follow me on YouTube Tool of Terrible Terrors,
Terrible Terror podcast on YouTube, and then join me every Monday,

(02:54:55):
Tuesday and Sundays for now on twitch dot tv Terrible Terrors,
and I might do a couple of day streams here
or there if you want to stop by. So thank
you guys so much for listening. And you guys take
care of yourselves and each other, and I'll definitely be
seeing you soon

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