October 13, 2023 • 10 mins
Ralan learns quickly: trust Maela, keep quiet, and don't point. Guided through the dangerous streets, he witnesses the guild's reach and Maela's resourcefulness, culminating in a surprisingly effective lie to mislead the Knight Protectors hot on his trail.
Some secrets are worth dying for. Some are worth killing for.
---
Intimidated that you're dozens of episodes behind and afraid to start listening? Don't be. Here's a handy Listener's Guide that let's you know spots where you can start listening further in the story.
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Interested in the development of the complex story and want to know how writer Jake Kerr puts it together every week? Want an ad-free experience? Subscribe to his Patreon. Love world building? Want ongoing updates? Free members get ongoing story updates with interesting reference material about the guild hierarchy, geography, and history.
Free Patreon members also receive copies of the first two Thieves Guild ebooks. The next book will be released in 2025 and Patreon members will also receive that book (and all subsequent books!) for free, too. Want to go directly to get your free books? Click here.
---
If you would like to view a map of Ness, you can find it here.
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Grab some Thieves Guild merch!
https://store.podcastalchemy.studio
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Check out our other drama podcasts!
Artifacts of the Arcane
A historical urban fantasy set at the beginning of World War Two.
The world has abandoned magic, but magic hasn’t abandoned the world.
https://podcastalchemy.studio/arcane
Thursday
A cyberpunk VR thriller.
No one can be trusted when nothing is real.
https://podcastalchemy.studio/thursday
Jake's Theatre of the Mind
Nebula Award nominee Jake Kerr narrates short stories twice a week.
----
Find out more about writer Jake Kerr: https://www.jakekerr.com
Follow Jake on Bluesky @jakekerr.com
Some secrets are worth dying for. Some are worth killing for.
---
Intimidated that you're dozens of episodes behind and afraid to start listening? Don't be. Here's a handy Listener's Guide that let's you know spots where you can start listening further in the story.
---
Interested in the development of the complex story and want to know how writer Jake Kerr puts it together every week? Want an ad-free experience? Subscribe to his Patreon. Love world building? Want ongoing updates? Free members get ongoing story updates with interesting reference material about the guild hierarchy, geography, and history.
Free Patreon members also receive copies of the first two Thieves Guild ebooks. The next book will be released in 2025 and Patreon members will also receive that book (and all subsequent books!) for free, too. Want to go directly to get your free books? Click here.
---
If you would like to view a map of Ness, you can find it here.
----
Grab some Thieves Guild merch!
https://store.podcastalchemy.studio
----
Check out our other drama podcasts!
Artifacts of the Arcane
A historical urban fantasy set at the beginning of World War Two.
The world has abandoned magic, but magic hasn’t abandoned the world.
https://podcastalchemy.studio/arcane
Thursday
A cyberpunk VR thriller.
No one can be trusted when nothing is real.
https://podcastalchemy.studio/thursday
Jake's Theatre of the Mind
Nebula Award nominee Jake Kerr narrates short stories twice a week.
----
Find out more about writer Jake Kerr: https://www.jakekerr.com
Follow Jake on Bluesky @jakekerr.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
The Thief's Guild
by Jake Kerr.
Episode 16:
Across the Flats.
(00:24):
Raylan lost track of the rainbow of colors ofthose that had helped him.
Yellow, green, blue, and even white-shirted guildmembers passed Maela and
Raylan from safe house to safe house.
With every step, Maela stayed so close that hershoulders would often brush against
him. He would glance at her every so often andwatch how her eyes darted
(00:46):
around and her muscles tensed. She looked like ananimal
constantly poised to strike.
Their first stop was a comfortable house in thelower triangle, where Raylan was given a
scented bath and a yellow tunic of a lower-rankcraftsman.
As he looked in the mirror, even he had troubleidentifying himself.
(01:07):
"The guild colors are so identified with each ofus that changing them is such a shocking
change," Raylan thought. He walked out and Maelawas wearing the same yellow.
She handed him a droopy hat. "Really?" Raylansaid, looking
at the hat.
Maela ignored him and said-
"You look different enough that we should besomewhat safe.
(01:28):
I mean, how many merchant guardsmen and knightsactually know what you look like?"
Raylan, whose history of mischief was long, didnot reply.
"Plus, you actually smell nice. No one wouldrecognize you like that."
Raylan turned away, hoping she took it as a signof anger, but inside,
he was smiling.
After the past few days, her jibe was both amusingand accurate.
(01:53):
His appearance hidden, they made their waystraight through the Flats.
Every few streets, they would make a hard right ora hard left.
Every few blocks, they would stop at a shop or ahouse where Raylan would be left alone,
and Maela would go to a different room and talkwith people he couldn't see.
As they got closer to the wall, Raylan suddenlyrealized that they had an
(02:18):
escort, and that it had been changing as theycontinued their walk.
"Are they with us?" Raylan asked, pointing at agroup of young men who were
laughing and casually walking ahead of them.
The group appeared as they turned down one street,replacing a similar group of young men
and women. Maela slapped his hand.
"Will you not point? And for the love of the gods,do you know how to keep your voice
(02:43):
down? It's like you want to get us captured."
She walked in front of Raylan and stopped, forcinghim to stop as well.
She crowded into him and whispered-
"Do you see those brown cloaks over there?
Those are Knight Protectors scanning the people onthe street. Do you see the tradesmen up ahead?
They are merchant guards and are looking for you."
Maela punctuated the you by poking Raylan in thechest with her finger.
(03:07):
"How do you know this?"
"Gods, do you know nothing? Use your eyes.
It's obvious."
Raylan looked at the people, but couldn't seeanything suspicious about them, but he nodded,
pretending that he did. Maela added-
"This is the easy part, so at least don't screwthis up.
Just shut up and go where I tell you to go."
(03:27):
"What's the hard part?"
"G, I don't know, maybe breaking into the KnightTower, going down to the
catacombs and freeing Allard and your friend,while doing so without making the guild council
suspicious that you have organized help."
"Got it. No problem."
Maela squinted at Raylan. "You're either an idiotor incredibly brave.
(03:48):
Take a guess as to which I'm leaning toward."
And with that, she grabbed Raylan's arm, turned,and started again down
the street.
They reached the base of the wall and the edge ofthe Flats.
Between the north side of the Flats and the wallwas a wide road that circled the
whole city. It had no official name, but waspopularly known for
(04:10):
centuries as the Circle. Between the wall and theCircle was a wide swath of
grass that was popular for walks and picnics.
Couples often walked along the grass, stealingkisses under the shadow of the
old and mighty wall.
Raylan and Maela walked that same path, followingthe wall toward the Knight
Guild tower.
(04:32):
Every so often, Raylan would glance up, looking atthe knights that manned its battlements.
The wall was not very high, three stories at most,but it was wide and solid,
more than enough to withstand an attack from theoutlanders.
There were many more knights manning the wall thisclose to their guild than over near the
warehouse district, where Rafe had tossed thetomato that started this whole
(04:55):
mess.
Rafe. Raylan worried about his friend.
He wondered if he had been beaten severely and howhe was holding up in the prison.
He hoped his friend wasn't regretting joiningRaylan in his adventure as the
Guildmaster thief, an adventure that now seemedmuch bigger and far-reaching
than he had remotely considered. He alreadytrusted and respected Allard,
(05:19):
but it would be valuable having a trusted friendwith him.
Maela paused at the base of the wall, lookingacross the whole area.
She quickly took Raylan's hand in hers, weavingher fingers in his.
As if this wasn't shocking enough, Maela thenleaned against Raylan and placed her
cheek against his shoulder. Raylan glanced down ather, stunned.
(05:41):
She looked up at him, smiled, and started to walkalong the trail at the base of the wall,
holding his hand. "We are being followed, aren'twe?" Raylan whispered.
"Yes. Keep your head down. We are heading to theKnight Guild kitchens.
Just act normal. Hopefully they'll just leave."
A moment later, Maela tugged on Raylan's hand, andas he turned, she
(06:04):
grabbed the front of his cloak, pulled him downand kissed him on the
lips.Before he could even think of what washappening, Maela put her arms
around him and kissed him long and passionately.
Raelan, who had kissed maybe four girls in hislife,
didn't know what was happening, but the softnessof Maela's lips and the
(06:26):
passion behind them made him suddenly think thatthere was something between the two of them.
As he put his arms around Maela and leanedforward, a hand tugged on his arm.
"That's enough, you two."
Maela pulled away and glanced at the knightprotector standing next to them.
"The sun's not even down yet. You two need tolearn to control yourselves."
(06:49):
The knight was frowning and waving a finger.
A second knight was behind him and looked like hecould barely contain himself from
laughing.
"We were just heading to the tower kitchens andstopped to admire the wall,"
Maela replied, a mischievous smile on her face.
"Well, best to do your admiring in private," thesecond knight said.
The first knight looked around. "Have you two seena young man?
(07:13):
He may have fled to the flats. We noticed you camefrom there and were wondering if you had seen him.
He's about your height, thin, brown hair.
We have reason to believe that he will be insoiled clothing or smell bad."
Raelan kept his face down, hoping the shade fromhis hat helped hide any defining features
of his face. "I'm afraid I've been distracted,"Raelan replied,
(07:34):
looking down at Maela, who smiled at him.
"But if I see someone that fits that description,I'll find the nearest protector."
"Is he dangerous?" Maela interjected.
"Yes, he is. Very."
Maela wrapped her arms around Raelan's arm.
"We should hurry to the kitchens, love.
I don't want to be outside with a violent criminalon the loose."
(07:55):
"What is your business with the guild kitchens?"asked the second knight.
Maela was about to say something, but Raelaninterrupted her.
"I'm a craftsman who specializes in ovens andother kitchen equipment.
I was requested for emergency repairs."
The knight stared at him for a moment, and thennodded.
"Our stomachs thank you, Craftsman." He smiled,but then peered at Maela.
(08:18):
"But you shouldn't let your distractions keep youfrom your work.
That's irresponsible." "I understand, KnightProtector.
I apologize."
The knight nodded, and then wandered off with hispartner.
Maela and Raelan continued toward the knighttower.
After they put some distance between them and theknights, Raelan took some deep
(08:40):
breaths.
Maela let go of Raelan's hand, but not beforesqueezing it first.
"That was well done, Guildmaster."
"Thank you."
Raelan looked at Maela. "You saw them approachingus?"
"Yes. They were following us from the flats, andwhen we lost our escort, I
knew I had to distract them."
"So you kissed me."
(09:00):
"I know. The things I do for the guild.
Luckily, the trip through the sewers prepared me."
Raelan gritted his teeth.
Maela must have noticed that her comment hurt hisfeelings because she lightly punched him in the
arm.
"I'm kidding."
When Raelan didn't say anything, Maela stopped.
He took a few steps before noticing she wasn'tthere.
(09:22):
He turned and walked back.
"Look."
Maela held up a finger and Raelan stopped.
"It was nice, okay? You have soft lips, but don'tthink that I'm all in love
with you or anything. You're my guildmaster, andI'm your loyal guild member.
Got it?"
"Understood," Raelan replied.
She said it was nice.
(09:43):
Raelan suppressed a smile as the two of themapproached the knight guild tower.
(instrumental music plays)
The Thief's Guild
by Jake Kerr.
Episode 16:
Across the Flats.
(00:24):
Raylan lost track of the rainbow of colors ofthose that had helped him.
Yellow, green, blue, and even white-shirted guildmembers passed Maela and
Raylan from safe house to safe house.
With every step, Maela stayed so close that hershoulders would often brush against
him. He would glance at her every so often andwatch how her eyes darted
(00:46):
around and her muscles tensed. She looked like ananimal
constantly poised to strike.
Their first stop was a comfortable house in thelower triangle, where Raylan was given a
scented bath and a yellow tunic of a lower-rankcraftsman.
As he looked in the mirror, even he had troubleidentifying himself.
(01:07):
"The guild colors are so identified with each ofus that changing them is such a shocking
change," Raylan thought. He walked out and Maelawas wearing the same yellow.
She handed him a droopy hat. "Really?" Raylansaid, looking
at the hat.
Maela ignored him and said-
"You look different enough that we should besomewhat safe.
(01:28):
I mean, how many merchant guardsmen and knightsactually know what you look like?"
Raylan, whose history of mischief was long, didnot reply.
"Plus, you actually smell nice. No one wouldrecognize you like that."
Raylan turned away, hoping she took it as a signof anger, but inside,
he was smiling.
After the past few days, her jibe was both amusingand accurate.
(01:53):
His appearance hidden, they made their waystraight through the Flats.
Every few streets, they would make a hard right ora hard left.
Every few blocks, they would stop at a shop or ahouse where Raylan would be left alone,
and Maela would go to a different room and talkwith people he couldn't see.
As they got closer to the wall, Raylan suddenlyrealized that they had an
(02:18):
escort, and that it had been changing as theycontinued their walk.
"Are they with us?" Raylan asked, pointing at agroup of young men who were
laughing and casually walking ahead of them.
The group appeared as they turned down one street,replacing a similar group of young men
and women. Maela slapped his hand.
"Will you not point? And for the love of the gods,do you know how to keep your voice
(02:43):
down? It's like you want to get us captured."
She walked in front of Raylan and stopped, forcinghim to stop as well.
She crowded into him and whispered-
"Do you see those brown cloaks over there?
Those are Knight Protectors scanning the people onthe street. Do you see the tradesmen up ahead?
They are merchant guards and are looking for you."
Maela punctuated the you by poking Raylan in thechest with her finger.
(03:07):
"How do you know this?"
"Gods, do you know nothing? Use your eyes.
It's obvious."
Raylan looked at the people, but couldn't seeanything suspicious about them, but he nodded,
pretending that he did. Maela added-
"This is the easy part, so at least don't screwthis up.
Just shut up and go where I tell you to go."
(03:27):
"What's the hard part?"
"G, I don't know, maybe breaking into the KnightTower, going down to the
catacombs and freeing Allard and your friend,while doing so without making the guild council
suspicious that you have organized help."
"Got it. No problem."
Maela squinted at Raylan. "You're either an idiotor incredibly brave.
(03:48):
Take a guess as to which I'm leaning toward."
And with that, she grabbed Raylan's arm, turned,and started again down
the street.
They reached the base of the wall and the edge ofthe Flats.
Between the north side of the Flats and the wallwas a wide road that circled the
whole city. It had no official name, but waspopularly known for
(04:10):
centuries as the Circle. Between the wall and theCircle was a wide swath of
grass that was popular for walks and picnics.
Couples often walked along the grass, stealingkisses under the shadow of the
old and mighty wall.
Raylan and Maela walked that same path, followingthe wall toward the Knight
Guild tower.
(04:32):
Every so often, Raylan would glance up, looking atthe knights that manned its battlements.
The wall was not very high, three stories at most,but it was wide and solid,
more than enough to withstand an attack from theoutlanders.
There were many more knights manning the wall thisclose to their guild than over near the
warehouse district, where Rafe had tossed thetomato that started this whole
(04:55):
mess.
Rafe. Raylan worried about his friend.
He wondered if he had been beaten severely and howhe was holding up in the prison.
He hoped his friend wasn't regretting joiningRaylan in his adventure as the
Guildmaster thief, an adventure that now seemedmuch bigger and far-reaching
than he had remotely considered. He alreadytrusted and respected Allard,
(05:19):
but it would be valuable having a trusted friendwith him.
Maela paused at the base of the wall, lookingacross the whole area.
She quickly took Raylan's hand in hers, weavingher fingers in his.
As if this wasn't shocking enough, Maela thenleaned against Raylan and placed her
cheek against his shoulder. Raylan glanced down ather, stunned.
(05:41):
She looked up at him, smiled, and started to walkalong the trail at the base of the wall,
holding his hand. "We are being followed, aren'twe?" Raylan whispered.
"Yes. Keep your head down. We are heading to theKnight Guild kitchens.
Just act normal. Hopefully they'll just leave."
A moment later, Maela tugged on Raylan's hand, andas he turned, she
(06:04):
grabbed the front of his cloak, pulled him downand kissed him on the
lips.Before he could even think of what washappening, Maela put her arms
around him and kissed him long and passionately.
Raelan, who had kissed maybe four girls in hislife,
didn't know what was happening, but the softnessof Maela's lips and the
(06:26):
passion behind them made him suddenly think thatthere was something between the two of them.
As he put his arms around Maela and leanedforward, a hand tugged on his arm.
"That's enough, you two."
Maela pulled away and glanced at the knightprotector standing next to them.
"The sun's not even down yet. You two need tolearn to control yourselves."
(06:49):
The knight was frowning and waving a finger.
A second knight was behind him and looked like hecould barely contain himself from
laughing.
"We were just heading to the tower kitchens andstopped to admire the wall,"
Maela replied, a mischievous smile on her face.
"Well, best to do your admiring in private," thesecond knight said.
The first knight looked around. "Have you two seena young man?
(07:13):
He may have fled to the flats. We noticed you camefrom there and were wondering if you had seen him.
He's about your height, thin, brown hair.
We have reason to believe that he will be insoiled clothing or smell bad."
Raelan kept his face down, hoping the shade fromhis hat helped hide any defining features
of his face. "I'm afraid I've been distracted,"Raelan replied,
(07:34):
looking down at Maela, who smiled at him.
"But if I see someone that fits that description,I'll find the nearest protector."
"Is he dangerous?" Maela interjected.
"Yes, he is. Very."
Maela wrapped her arms around Raelan's arm.
"We should hurry to the kitchens, love.
I don't want to be outside with a violent criminalon the loose."
(07:55):
"What is your business with the guild kitchens?"asked the second knight.
Maela was about to say something, but Raelaninterrupted her.
"I'm a craftsman who specializes in ovens andother kitchen equipment.
I was requested for emergency repairs."
The knight stared at him for a moment, and thennodded.
"Our stomachs thank you, Craftsman." He smiled,but then peered at Maela.
(08:18):
"But you shouldn't let your distractions keep youfrom your work.
That's irresponsible." "I understand, KnightProtector.
I apologize."
The knight nodded, and then wandered off with hispartner.
Maela and Raelan continued toward the knighttower.
After they put some distance between them and theknights, Raelan took some deep
(08:40):
breaths.
Maela let go of Raelan's hand, but not beforesqueezing it first.
"That was well done, Guildmaster."
"Thank you."
Raelan looked at Maela. "You saw them approachingus?"
"Yes. They were following us from the flats, andwhen we lost our escort, I
knew I had to distract them."
"So you kissed me."
(09:00):
"I know. The things I do for the guild.
Luckily, the trip through the sewers prepared me."
Raelan gritted his teeth.
Maela must have noticed that her comment hurt hisfeelings because she lightly punched him in the
arm.
"I'm kidding."
When Raelan didn't say anything, Maela stopped.
He took a few steps before noticing she wasn'tthere.
(09:22):
He turned and walked back.
"Look."
Maela held up a finger and Raelan stopped.
"It was nice, okay? You have soft lips, but don'tthink that I'm all in love
with you or anything. You're my guildmaster, andI'm your loyal guild member.
Got it?"
"Understood," Raelan replied.
She said it was nice.
(09:43):
Raelan suppressed a smile as the two of themapproached the knight guild tower.
(instrumental music plays)
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