October 6, 2023 • 11 mins
Escaping through Ness's foul sewers, Ralan learns unsettling truths from Maela about the Outlanders and the hidden power of the Thieves Guild. The journey stinks, but the real shock comes with news of Alard's capture, forcing Ralan to make his first real decision as Guildmaster.
Some secrets are worth dying for. Some are worth killing for.
---
Intimidated that you're dozens of episodes behind and afraid to start listening? Don't be. Here's a handy Listener's Guide that let's you know spots where you can start listening further in the story.
---
Interested in the development of the complex story and want to know how writer Jake Kerr puts it together every week? Want an ad-free experience? Subscribe to his Patreon. Love world building? Want ongoing updates? Free members get ongoing story updates with interesting reference material about the guild hierarchy, geography, and history.
Free Patreon members also receive copies of the first two Thieves Guild ebooks. The next book will be released in 2025 and Patreon members will also receive that book (and all subsequent books!) for free, too. Want to go directly to get your free books? Click here.
---
If you would like to view a map of Ness, you can find it here.
----
Grab some Thieves Guild merch!
https://store.podcastalchemy.studio
----
Check out our other drama podcasts!
Artifacts of the Arcane
A historical urban fantasy set at the beginning of World War Two.
The world has abandoned magic, but magic hasn’t abandoned the world.
https://podcastalchemy.studio/arcane
Thursday
A cyberpunk VR thriller.
No one can be trusted when nothing is real.
https://podcastalchemy.studio/thursday
Jake's Theatre of the Mind
Nebula Award nominee Jake Kerr narrates short stories twice a week.
----
Find out more about writer Jake Kerr: https://www.jakekerr.com
Follow Jake on Bluesky @jakekerr.com
Some secrets are worth dying for. Some are worth killing for.
---
Intimidated that you're dozens of episodes behind and afraid to start listening? Don't be. Here's a handy Listener's Guide that let's you know spots where you can start listening further in the story.
---
Interested in the development of the complex story and want to know how writer Jake Kerr puts it together every week? Want an ad-free experience? Subscribe to his Patreon. Love world building? Want ongoing updates? Free members get ongoing story updates with interesting reference material about the guild hierarchy, geography, and history.
Free Patreon members also receive copies of the first two Thieves Guild ebooks. The next book will be released in 2025 and Patreon members will also receive that book (and all subsequent books!) for free, too. Want to go directly to get your free books? Click here.
---
If you would like to view a map of Ness, you can find it here.
----
Grab some Thieves Guild merch!
https://store.podcastalchemy.studio
----
Check out our other drama podcasts!
Artifacts of the Arcane
A historical urban fantasy set at the beginning of World War Two.
The world has abandoned magic, but magic hasn’t abandoned the world.
https://podcastalchemy.studio/arcane
Thursday
A cyberpunk VR thriller.
No one can be trusted when nothing is real.
https://podcastalchemy.studio/thursday
Jake's Theatre of the Mind
Nebula Award nominee Jake Kerr narrates short stories twice a week.
----
Find out more about writer Jake Kerr: https://www.jakekerr.com
Follow Jake on Bluesky @jakekerr.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
The Thieves Guild
by Jake Kerr
(dramatic music plays) . Episode 14:
In the Sewers.
(00:24):
The darkness made the smell even worse.
By the time his feet touched solid ground, Raylanhad to use all
his willpower not to vomit.
He felt Maela lightly land next to him.
Before he could say anything, there was a, thesound of scratching and then light
(00:44):
illuminated the room.
Maela breathed out.
You never know if the gas will explode when youlight a torch down here.
Raylan looked around. He was on a small landingthat looked like it was
part of some kind of maintenance trail.
All around him was disgusting water filled withcoagulating brown fluid
and iridescent fluids that were a mixture of pissand something even more
(01:08):
vile. Maela looked around, found a sconce with alarge candle and lit
it with the burning wad of material in her hands.
"There should be torches on the wall, not candles.
Damn merchants, always looking at appearances."
Maela looked around, running her hand over hershort hair.
They were on a small stone landing that wassurrounded by filthy water
(01:33):
and was fed by large pipes that emerged from theceiling.
Patches of crusty brown were on the walls and atthe edge of the landing.
The water flowed slowly, glowing with aniridescence in the light.
"What is this place?"
Raylan asked, doing his best to breathe as littleas possible.
"The waste sewers. They connect outside the wallin a huge open underground
(01:56):
river of shit and piss. It flows into the greatriver from there."
Not having any idea that Ness was built on such anarchitectural wonder, he nodded his head
and muttered-
"That's amazing. Very smart."
"Not so good for the outlanders."
Maela took a few steps down the trail and thenturned.
"Maybe there'll be a torch further down.
(02:17):
I'll just have to keep lighting sconces until wefind one."
Raylan nodded.
"What did you mean about the outlanders?
They're across the plains and aren't anywhereclose to Ness."
Maela turned and shook her head.
"You really are clueless, aren't you?
The outlanders get closer to the wall every year.
Why do you think the Rangers Guild keepsconscripting people from the Knights?
(02:38):
The Rangers are constantly facing attacks acrossthe plains."
"I thought the outlanders weren't a real threat."
They tiptoed along the stone path, a river offilth flowing to their left.
"They don't like us, which is threat enough.
And this..."
Maela pointed to the sewage.
"... it doesn't help. Can you imagine having todrink water mixed with this?"
(03:00):
She stopped.
"A torch."
She lit it with another flick of her flint andburning cloth.
"Where are we going anyway?"
"The sewers also act as an overflow when the rainsget too strong, so at some point,
we'll hit fresh water flowing into the sewer.
We'll follow that to the north fork or the greatriver.
At that point, we swim."
(03:21):
A torch in hand, the two made better time.
"I don't know how to swim."
Maela jerked around and stared at Raylan.
"Great,
then we'll find a skiff or something.
We just need to get you to safety."
Maela had turned and resumed walking when Raylanblurted out-
"Thank you."
Without turning, Maela muttered-
"No problem."
(03:41):
Raylan jogged forward and grabbed her shoulder.
She whirled around and looked at Raylan, her browsfurrowed.
"No, really, thank you. I would probably be deadif you hadn't helped me."
Maela nodded and turned back.
"Well, you're kind of a jerk, but I stillappreciate the help."
She didn't reply.
It wasn't much longer before a smaller tunnel withclear water flowing from it joined the flow of
(04:05):
sewage they were following. It was a few feethigher than the sewage water and a small
trickle of clean water dripped into the sewage.
"There's no walkway, so we'll need to walk throughthe water."
Raylan nodded. While the tunnel was small, theycould still walk through it
crouched down. "Heck," Raylan thought, "Maeladoesn't even need to
(04:25):
crouch." He smiled. The trouble was that they hadto get across the
filthy water to their left, which was about fivefeet across.
A standing jump across was impossible.
To Raylan's shock, Maela dropped herself rightinto the sewage.
Her pants were a light brown cotton and the watercame up to her thighs.
(04:47):
As she sloshed through it, heading to the smalltunnel, the light brown of her pants darkened as it
got wet and stained with things Raylan didn't evenwant to think about.
Maela pulled herself up to the tunnel and lookedback at Raylan.
"Hurry up."
Clenching his teeth, Raylan dropped into thesewage.
It was cold and he could feel its current sweepingthe disgusting water against his
(05:11):
legs.
The good news was that the water barely reachedhis knees.
He walked toward Maela and each step made him wantto vomit.
The floor of the sewer was soft and squishy.
He could feel the collected buildup of shit andworse sucking at his soft leather
shoes as he picked up his feet.
(05:32):
He climbed up next to Maela. "The Knight Guildmaintains the sewers?"
She nodded. "They deserve a healthy salary."
"Right, keep thinking that. There's a reason theguild members live in the old
quarter, and it's not the smell.
But don't worry, we take care of them."
They started walking and Raylan took a deepbreath.
The smell got better with each step.
(05:54):
"We? What do you mean by we?"
"The Thieves Guild. Seriously, do you knownothing?"
Raylan said nothing but continued walking.
There was so much he didn't know that he wasafraid to reveal it to Maela.
The Thieves Guild was somehow real and had somekind of influence in the Old
Quarter. The Old Quarter itself, which he hadalways known as the Wretched
(06:17):
Quarter, seemed to be like a mini city within Nessthat no one really knew
about.
There was danger from the outlanders.
The guilds themselves were fighting politicalgames over influence.
There was probably a ton more he didn't knowabout.
"I have so much to learn," Raylan thought.
He wanted to ask Maela, but he was sure she'dshake her head, consider him not worth the time
(06:40):
to save, and probably turn him in to Larsen.
Allard would be a better guild master than theidiot Raylan.
Ah, here we go.
A round light appeared ahead.
Wait here. I'm going to find out where we are andget an update on where things stand.
Hopefully, things are still kind of chaotic and Ican find a skiff nearby.
Raylan grabbed Maela's arm before she could jogaway.
(07:04):
"Hey, be safe."
Maela looked at Raylan.
"Oh, I'll be fine. You're the one that half ofNess wants dead."
She grinned and then took off up the tunnel.
A flicker of shadow a few hours later made Raylanjump.
After 30 minutes, he had considered running out tofollow her, and pretty much
every 15 minutes since that point he would take afew steps to do just that,
(07:29):
but he would always stop.
He was a wanted man.
No one had attached Maela to him, so he would justcause more problems than
help, so he sat tight.
It was with a great sense of relief that he sawthe shadow approaching
down the tunnel. He closed the distance, walkingtoward her.
(07:49):
"You're back," Raylan said as he saw Maela slowand stop a few feet
away. She was dressed in clean clothes, this timewearing the green of the
Harvest Guild.
"You know, you could have cleaned up a bit.
The water isn't that low."
Raylan looked down at the bottom of his pants,which were now dry but encrusted with brown
flecks of waste. "I didn't know how much time I'dhave," he replied
(08:14):
defensively, not sure if she was teasing him or ifhe had done something wrong.
"Anyway, it doesn't matter. I got us a skiff.
This tunnel ends at the north fork not too nearthe docks.
I have a tarp for you to hide under, so we shouldbe able to get you to safety soon."
"That's the best news I've heard in days."
Raylan took a few steps but then paused. "Did youfind out anything?
(08:36):
Is Allard okay?"
"Allard is in the Night Protectors' prison."
"What?" Raylan stopped and stared at Maela.
"I can't leave with him in prison. We have to dosomething.
They may kill him."
To his shock, Maela put her hand on Raylan'sshoulder and spoke with an
atypical kindness in her voice.
"I appreciate your concern, but Allard wants yousafe.
(08:58):
That's the biggest priority. Plus, the Thieveshave way more power than anyone in Ness
expects. Hell, Guild Master Pietro has thepopulace believing that the guild doesn't even
exist, so it will be fairly easy for us to breakAllard out."
Raylan paused, thinking over what Maela had said.
Something wasn't right about the plan.
"Won't breaking Allard out reveal the power of theguild?" he replied.
(09:22):
Maela nodded.
"It had to happen eventually. The timing is notgood, but Allard is too important.
We can't afford to lose him."
"Listen, let's, let's break him out.
Even if others help him, I'll make sure they seeme and people will think that I broke him out, not
anyone else.
Me and some friends. Also, I'm sure Rafe is in theprison too.
(09:44):
He's my friend, uh, and no one knows he's a ThiefGuild member.
Everyone will think that I just went to help myfriend and we freed Allard while
doing it." Maela didn't say anything, but ratherjust stared at Raylan.
"Look, I know I can't do this myself, but I candistract everyone from the help you and the other
thieves give me." At that, Maela nodded.
(10:05):
"It's a good plan, but very risky. There arereasons for having the Guild Master Thief not be a vacant
position."
"And by that, you mean there are reasons to nothaving me die?"
"If you prefer to think of it that way."
Raylan had to suppress a smile. Maela drove himcrazy, but she
was consistent about it. He could almost predictwhen she would drop an insult or
(10:28):
satirical comment on him. "Look, I'm not asking,I'm telling you.
I'm the Guild Master Thief. We are going to rescueAllard."
"Yes, Guild Master."
There was only a trace of sarcasm in her voice asshe said the
words.
(dramatic music)
The Thieves Guild
by Jake Kerr
(dramatic music plays) . Episode 14:
In the Sewers.
(00:24):
The darkness made the smell even worse.
By the time his feet touched solid ground, Raylanhad to use all
his willpower not to vomit.
He felt Maela lightly land next to him.
Before he could say anything, there was a, thesound of scratching and then light
(00:44):
illuminated the room.
Maela breathed out.
You never know if the gas will explode when youlight a torch down here.
Raylan looked around. He was on a small landingthat looked like it was
part of some kind of maintenance trail.
All around him was disgusting water filled withcoagulating brown fluid
and iridescent fluids that were a mixture of pissand something even more
(01:08):
vile. Maela looked around, found a sconce with alarge candle and lit
it with the burning wad of material in her hands.
"There should be torches on the wall, not candles.
Damn merchants, always looking at appearances."
Maela looked around, running her hand over hershort hair.
They were on a small stone landing that wassurrounded by filthy water
(01:33):
and was fed by large pipes that emerged from theceiling.
Patches of crusty brown were on the walls and atthe edge of the landing.
The water flowed slowly, glowing with aniridescence in the light.
"What is this place?"
Raylan asked, doing his best to breathe as littleas possible.
"The waste sewers. They connect outside the wallin a huge open underground
(01:56):
river of shit and piss. It flows into the greatriver from there."
Not having any idea that Ness was built on such anarchitectural wonder, he nodded his head
and muttered-
"That's amazing. Very smart."
"Not so good for the outlanders."
Maela took a few steps down the trail and thenturned.
"Maybe there'll be a torch further down.
(02:17):
I'll just have to keep lighting sconces until wefind one."
Raylan nodded.
"What did you mean about the outlanders?
They're across the plains and aren't anywhereclose to Ness."
Maela turned and shook her head.
"You really are clueless, aren't you?
The outlanders get closer to the wall every year.
Why do you think the Rangers Guild keepsconscripting people from the Knights?
(02:38):
The Rangers are constantly facing attacks acrossthe plains."
"I thought the outlanders weren't a real threat."
They tiptoed along the stone path, a river offilth flowing to their left.
"They don't like us, which is threat enough.
And this..."
Maela pointed to the sewage.
"... it doesn't help. Can you imagine having todrink water mixed with this?"
(03:00):
She stopped.
"A torch."
She lit it with another flick of her flint andburning cloth.
"Where are we going anyway?"
"The sewers also act as an overflow when the rainsget too strong, so at some point,
we'll hit fresh water flowing into the sewer.
We'll follow that to the north fork or the greatriver.
At that point, we swim."
(03:21):
A torch in hand, the two made better time.
"I don't know how to swim."
Maela jerked around and stared at Raylan.
"Great,
then we'll find a skiff or something.
We just need to get you to safety."
Maela had turned and resumed walking when Raylanblurted out-
"Thank you."
Without turning, Maela muttered-
"No problem."
(03:41):
Raylan jogged forward and grabbed her shoulder.
She whirled around and looked at Raylan, her browsfurrowed.
"No, really, thank you. I would probably be deadif you hadn't helped me."
Maela nodded and turned back.
"Well, you're kind of a jerk, but I stillappreciate the help."
She didn't reply.
It wasn't much longer before a smaller tunnel withclear water flowing from it joined the flow of
(04:05):
sewage they were following. It was a few feethigher than the sewage water and a small
trickle of clean water dripped into the sewage.
"There's no walkway, so we'll need to walk throughthe water."
Raylan nodded. While the tunnel was small, theycould still walk through it
crouched down. "Heck," Raylan thought, "Maeladoesn't even need to
(04:25):
crouch." He smiled. The trouble was that they hadto get across the
filthy water to their left, which was about fivefeet across.
A standing jump across was impossible.
To Raylan's shock, Maela dropped herself rightinto the sewage.
Her pants were a light brown cotton and the watercame up to her thighs.
(04:47):
As she sloshed through it, heading to the smalltunnel, the light brown of her pants darkened as it
got wet and stained with things Raylan didn't evenwant to think about.
Maela pulled herself up to the tunnel and lookedback at Raylan.
"Hurry up."
Clenching his teeth, Raylan dropped into thesewage.
It was cold and he could feel its current sweepingthe disgusting water against his
(05:11):
legs.
The good news was that the water barely reachedhis knees.
He walked toward Maela and each step made him wantto vomit.
The floor of the sewer was soft and squishy.
He could feel the collected buildup of shit andworse sucking at his soft leather
shoes as he picked up his feet.
(05:32):
He climbed up next to Maela. "The Knight Guildmaintains the sewers?"
She nodded. "They deserve a healthy salary."
"Right, keep thinking that. There's a reason theguild members live in the old
quarter, and it's not the smell.
But don't worry, we take care of them."
They started walking and Raylan took a deepbreath.
The smell got better with each step.
(05:54):
"We? What do you mean by we?"
"The Thieves Guild. Seriously, do you knownothing?"
Raylan said nothing but continued walking.
There was so much he didn't know that he wasafraid to reveal it to Maela.
The Thieves Guild was somehow real and had somekind of influence in the Old
Quarter. The Old Quarter itself, which he hadalways known as the Wretched
(06:17):
Quarter, seemed to be like a mini city within Nessthat no one really knew
about.
There was danger from the outlanders.
The guilds themselves were fighting politicalgames over influence.
There was probably a ton more he didn't knowabout.
"I have so much to learn," Raylan thought.
He wanted to ask Maela, but he was sure she'dshake her head, consider him not worth the time
(06:40):
to save, and probably turn him in to Larsen.
Allard would be a better guild master than theidiot Raylan.
Ah, here we go.
A round light appeared ahead.
Wait here. I'm going to find out where we are andget an update on where things stand.
Hopefully, things are still kind of chaotic and Ican find a skiff nearby.
Raylan grabbed Maela's arm before she could jogaway.
(07:04):
"Hey, be safe."
Maela looked at Raylan.
"Oh, I'll be fine. You're the one that half ofNess wants dead."
She grinned and then took off up the tunnel.
A flicker of shadow a few hours later made Raylanjump.
After 30 minutes, he had considered running out tofollow her, and pretty much
every 15 minutes since that point he would take afew steps to do just that,
(07:29):
but he would always stop.
He was a wanted man.
No one had attached Maela to him, so he would justcause more problems than
help, so he sat tight.
It was with a great sense of relief that he sawthe shadow approaching
down the tunnel. He closed the distance, walkingtoward her.
(07:49):
"You're back," Raylan said as he saw Maela slowand stop a few feet
away. She was dressed in clean clothes, this timewearing the green of the
Harvest Guild.
"You know, you could have cleaned up a bit.
The water isn't that low."
Raylan looked down at the bottom of his pants,which were now dry but encrusted with brown
flecks of waste. "I didn't know how much time I'dhave," he replied
(08:14):
defensively, not sure if she was teasing him or ifhe had done something wrong.
"Anyway, it doesn't matter. I got us a skiff.
This tunnel ends at the north fork not too nearthe docks.
I have a tarp for you to hide under, so we shouldbe able to get you to safety soon."
"That's the best news I've heard in days."
Raylan took a few steps but then paused. "Did youfind out anything?
(08:36):
Is Allard okay?"
"Allard is in the Night Protectors' prison."
"What?" Raylan stopped and stared at Maela.
"I can't leave with him in prison. We have to dosomething.
They may kill him."
To his shock, Maela put her hand on Raylan'sshoulder and spoke with an
atypical kindness in her voice.
"I appreciate your concern, but Allard wants yousafe.
(08:58):
That's the biggest priority. Plus, the Thieveshave way more power than anyone in Ness
expects. Hell, Guild Master Pietro has thepopulace believing that the guild doesn't even
exist, so it will be fairly easy for us to breakAllard out."
Raylan paused, thinking over what Maela had said.
Something wasn't right about the plan.
"Won't breaking Allard out reveal the power of theguild?" he replied.
(09:22):
Maela nodded.
"It had to happen eventually. The timing is notgood, but Allard is too important.
We can't afford to lose him."
"Listen, let's, let's break him out.
Even if others help him, I'll make sure they seeme and people will think that I broke him out, not
anyone else.
Me and some friends. Also, I'm sure Rafe is in theprison too.
(09:44):
He's my friend, uh, and no one knows he's a ThiefGuild member.
Everyone will think that I just went to help myfriend and we freed Allard while
doing it." Maela didn't say anything, but ratherjust stared at Raylan.
"Look, I know I can't do this myself, but I candistract everyone from the help you and the other
thieves give me." At that, Maela nodded.
(10:05):
"It's a good plan, but very risky. There arereasons for having the Guild Master Thief not be a vacant
position."
"And by that, you mean there are reasons to nothaving me die?"
"If you prefer to think of it that way."
Raylan had to suppress a smile. Maela drove himcrazy, but she
was consistent about it. He could almost predictwhen she would drop an insult or
(10:28):
satirical comment on him. "Look, I'm not asking,I'm telling you.
I'm the Guild Master Thief. We are going to rescueAllard."
"Yes, Guild Master."
There was only a trace of sarcasm in her voice asshe said the
words.
(dramatic music)
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com