September 1, 2023 • 6 mins
Captured and nursing a headache, Ralan expects a familiar lecture or whipping. But Karch's smug silence and an unusual boat trip upriver hint at something far different, and Ralan's usual bravado gives way to a chilling fear.
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Artifacts of the Arcane
A historical urban fantasy set at the beginning of World War Two.
The world has abandoned magic, but magic hasn’t abandoned the world.
Thursday
A cyberpunk VR thriller.
No one can be trusted when nothing is real.
---
Find out more about writer/show runner Jake Kerr: https://www.jakekerr.com
Follow Jake on Bluesky @jakekerr.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-thieves-guild--6141933/support.
Some secrets are worth dying for. Some are worth killing for.
Want to binge The Thieves Guild with fewer ads? Every Friday night we release a bonus episode of the week's previous five episodes, with fewer ads in between episodes and a seamless listening experience!
Perfect for a weekend binge!
---
If you would like to view a map of Ness, you can find it here.
---
Check out our other drama podcasts!
Artifacts of the Arcane
A historical urban fantasy set at the beginning of World War Two.
The world has abandoned magic, but magic hasn’t abandoned the world.
Thursday
A cyberpunk VR thriller.
No one can be trusted when nothing is real.
---
Find out more about writer/show runner Jake Kerr: https://www.jakekerr.com
Follow Jake on Bluesky @jakekerr.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
The Thieves Guild,
by Jake Kerr.
Episode 1:
In the Shadow of the Wall.
(00:26):
A glorious autumnal sunset provided a starkcontrast between the stern
guard in the light on the stone wall above, andthe two boys in the shadows on the ground
below.
Raylan grinned as he looked up and watched as theguard paused in his rounds.
It was too perfect. He and Rafe were standing nextto a pile of tomatoes,
(00:48):
and the guard stood still, looking out into theplains, his back an easy target
with its white armor and robe shining brightly.
With Raylan and Rafe in the shadows, the two ofthem could easily flee unseen.
Of course, he had to convince Rafe to throw thetomato at the guard first.
Raylan kicked his friend in the heel and pointedat the guard.
(01:08):
"I bet you could hit him from here." Rafe lookedup.
"The guard?" "Of course, the guard." Rafe staredat the guard for a moment, but then turned
away. "Nah, he's too high, and I can barely seehis shoulders behind the battlements."
"He's not even moving." Raylan started jugglingthe tomatoes.
He tossed one to Rafe, who caught it with hisright hand. "Come on, don't be a coward.
(01:29):
He's 30 feet up. Besides, he won't leave his postto chase someone who just threw a tomato at him."
Rafe started walking away. "No way, Raylan.
The last time I took one of your challenges,Captain Edgar whipped me so hard I couldn't sit for a week."
Grabbing Rafe's arm Raylan added, "I canunderstand being afraid of Captain Edgar, but a
member of the White Guard?" Rafe stopped andturned. He was scowling.
(01:52):
Raylan had touched a nerve. "Why do you want me tohit the guard so badly?"
There was a suspicious tone in his voice.
"Because it's fun!"
Rafe still looked unconvinced. "And it's a memberof the White Guard.
Have you forgotten last Founder's Day?"
Raylan glanced back over his shoulder at theguard, still standing with his back to them,
(02:13):
his white robe blowing in a slight breeze.
When Raylan returned his gaze to Rafe, his friendwas staring at the guard.
"I think the least you owe them is staining one oftheir white robes." Rafe's eyes
widened. He had been beaten by three off-dutyWhite Guards during the previous Founder's Day when
he was caught painting the statue of Elias, thefounder of the Night Guild, a garish
(02:35):
red.
Rafe looked at the tomato and then the guard.
He was clearly debating payback. Raylan made surenot to remind Rafe that it
was Raylan himself who had egged him on to thatmischief as well.
Rafe looked at the guard, tossed the tomato up inthe air, and caught it.
"I could hit him." "Of course, you could."
(02:55):
Raylan slapped him on the back. "And look." Hepointed along the base of the wall and
into some shadows. The pile of smashed tomatoesthat had oozed down from where
they had been practicing tosses for the Founder'sDay parade was already hard to see.
"You can run that way. He'll never see you thatclose to the wall, and it's dark all the way to the
highway." Raylan realized he was very close togetting his friend to toss the tomato.
(03:20):
"And I'll run this way." He pointed across thefield toward the river in the distance.
"He'll see me and I'll draw his attention.
You'll be long gone, and by the time anyone getsto the bottom of the wall, I'll be across the river."
Rafe looked around and nodded. "Give me anotherone.
I might miss with the first." "Good thinking."Raylan tossed Rafe another
tomato. He almost couldn't contain his glee.
(03:43):
He really liked Rafe, but it was just too easy toget Rafe to do his mischief for him,
and in the end, that's what it was all about.
Doing maximum mischief with minimum risk.
"Wait until I hit him, and then you run toward theriver." Raylan nodded.
He hadn't lied to his friend. There waspractically no way they could get into trouble.
(04:04):
No one was remotely close to them, and thelengthening shadow of the wall made escape a
foregone conclusion. Rafe pulled his arm back andthen paused. He looked at Raylan.
"I wish the Guildmaster Knight rode in the cageduring the Founder's Day parade.
I'd shower him with garbage from beginning toend."
Raylan was taken aback by his friend's bittertone, which hinted at restrained
(04:25):
fury. "Well, with Guildmaster Pietro dead, younever know," Raylan added,
referencing the late Guildmaster thief who wouldride in the Founder's Day parade while
the populous would throw spoiled fruit and garbageat him, symbolically abusing
him for the sins of thieves.
How he put up with it, Raylan would neverunderstand.
(04:46):
Rafe ignored his comment, turned, and launched thetomato with his right hand.
There was a thud (tomahto splatting) and Raylanenjoyed the moment.
As Rafe took off running, a large red stain spreadover the back of the guard's
cape. The guard looked down at his feet and thenover the battlements toward where Raylan
stood. Raylan could see the guard's face andcaught his eye for a moment.
(05:10):
He then sprinted for the river. As expected, theguard didn't raise an alarm.
Still, Raylan took care to turn down a few alleysbetween the wall and the river.
Near the docks, he stopped and bent over, pantingfor breath with his hands on his knees.
He glanced around the riverfront as he stood backup.
The only activity was the hustle and bustle of theshops preparing for the night, and boats of
(05:34):
every size ushering people up and down the river.
Raylan smiled and walked downriver to the merchantguild slip.
He had gotten away with it.
(dramatic music)
The Thieves Guild,
by Jake Kerr.
Episode 1:
In the Shadow of the Wall.
(00:26):
A glorious autumnal sunset provided a starkcontrast between the stern
guard in the light on the stone wall above, andthe two boys in the shadows on the ground
below.
Raylan grinned as he looked up and watched as theguard paused in his rounds.
It was too perfect. He and Rafe were standing nextto a pile of tomatoes,
(00:48):
and the guard stood still, looking out into theplains, his back an easy target
with its white armor and robe shining brightly.
With Raylan and Rafe in the shadows, the two ofthem could easily flee unseen.
Of course, he had to convince Rafe to throw thetomato at the guard first.
Raylan kicked his friend in the heel and pointedat the guard.
(01:08):
"I bet you could hit him from here." Rafe lookedup.
"The guard?" "Of course, the guard." Rafe staredat the guard for a moment, but then turned
away. "Nah, he's too high, and I can barely seehis shoulders behind the battlements."
"He's not even moving." Raylan started jugglingthe tomatoes.
He tossed one to Rafe, who caught it with hisright hand. "Come on, don't be a coward.
(01:29):
He's 30 feet up. Besides, he won't leave his postto chase someone who just threw a tomato at him."
Rafe started walking away. "No way, Raylan.
The last time I took one of your challenges,Captain Edgar whipped me so hard I couldn't sit for a week."
Grabbing Rafe's arm Raylan added, "I canunderstand being afraid of Captain Edgar, but a
member of the White Guard?" Rafe stopped andturned. He was scowling.
(01:52):
Raylan had touched a nerve. "Why do you want me tohit the guard so badly?"
There was a suspicious tone in his voice.
"Because it's fun!"
Rafe still looked unconvinced. "And it's a memberof the White Guard.
Have you forgotten last Founder's Day?"
Raylan glanced back over his shoulder at theguard, still standing with his back to them,
(02:13):
his white robe blowing in a slight breeze.
When Raylan returned his gaze to Rafe, his friendwas staring at the guard.
"I think the least you owe them is staining one oftheir white robes." Rafe's eyes
widened. He had been beaten by three off-dutyWhite Guards during the previous Founder's Day when
he was caught painting the statue of Elias, thefounder of the Night Guild, a garish
(02:35):
red.
Rafe looked at the tomato and then the guard.
He was clearly debating payback. Raylan made surenot to remind Rafe that it
was Raylan himself who had egged him on to thatmischief as well.
Rafe looked at the guard, tossed the tomato up inthe air, and caught it.
"I could hit him." "Of course, you could."
(02:55):
Raylan slapped him on the back. "And look." Hepointed along the base of the wall and
into some shadows. The pile of smashed tomatoesthat had oozed down from where
they had been practicing tosses for the Founder'sDay parade was already hard to see.
"You can run that way. He'll never see you thatclose to the wall, and it's dark all the way to the
highway." Raylan realized he was very close togetting his friend to toss the tomato.
(03:20):
"And I'll run this way." He pointed across thefield toward the river in the distance.
"He'll see me and I'll draw his attention.
You'll be long gone, and by the time anyone getsto the bottom of the wall, I'll be across the river."
Rafe looked around and nodded. "Give me anotherone.
I might miss with the first." "Good thinking."Raylan tossed Rafe another
tomato. He almost couldn't contain his glee.
(03:43):
He really liked Rafe, but it was just too easy toget Rafe to do his mischief for him,
and in the end, that's what it was all about.
Doing maximum mischief with minimum risk.
"Wait until I hit him, and then you run toward theriver." Raylan nodded.
He hadn't lied to his friend. There waspractically no way they could get into trouble.
(04:04):
No one was remotely close to them, and thelengthening shadow of the wall made escape a
foregone conclusion. Rafe pulled his arm back andthen paused. He looked at Raylan.
"I wish the Guildmaster Knight rode in the cageduring the Founder's Day parade.
I'd shower him with garbage from beginning toend."
Raylan was taken aback by his friend's bittertone, which hinted at restrained
(04:25):
fury. "Well, with Guildmaster Pietro dead, younever know," Raylan added,
referencing the late Guildmaster thief who wouldride in the Founder's Day parade while
the populous would throw spoiled fruit and garbageat him, symbolically abusing
him for the sins of thieves.
How he put up with it, Raylan would neverunderstand.
(04:46):
Rafe ignored his comment, turned, and launched thetomato with his right hand.
There was a thud (tomahto splatting) and Raylanenjoyed the moment.
As Rafe took off running, a large red stain spreadover the back of the guard's
cape. The guard looked down at his feet and thenover the battlements toward where Raylan
stood. Raylan could see the guard's face andcaught his eye for a moment.
(05:10):
He then sprinted for the river. As expected, theguard didn't raise an alarm.
Still, Raylan took care to turn down a few alleysbetween the wall and the river.
Near the docks, he stopped and bent over, pantingfor breath with his hands on his knees.
He glanced around the riverfront as he stood backup.
The only activity was the hustle and bustle of theshops preparing for the night, and boats of
(05:34):
every size ushering people up and down the river.
Raylan smiled and walked downriver to the merchantguild slip.
He had gotten away with it.
(dramatic music)
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