Episode Transcript
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The Thieves Guild
by Jake Kerr.
Episode 5:
The Guildmaster Merchant.
(dramatic music plays) It was evening, so the twoof them had to wait at the front of the
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Merchant Guild tower as its massive doors opened.
As befitting the most powerful guild in the city,the Merchant Guild
tower was the tallest and mightiest in Ness.
Although the Knight Guild compound was much largerthan the Merchant Guild's, the Merchant
Guild tower dwarfed the Knights, which stood nextto the great gate and
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loomed over the entrance to the city.
Although he had not apprenticed to any guild,Raylan lived in the tower with his brother, so
the process of waiting for the great doors to openand walking the stone halls was a
familiar experience.
This time however, there was an ominousness to hisarrival, as if the
giant maw of some monster was opening to consumehim.
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He rubbed his temples as the doors came to a stop.
His headache was thankfully starting to fade.
Raylan had tried to find out more about his fateas they exited the boat, but that was the
moment Karch's smile left his face. He hissed atRaylan to be quiet, and
he did, not wanting to risk a slap or to make hisfate any worse than it
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already was.
Although Raylan loved to insult and demean hisbrother's guild, he couldn't help but
feel awe every time he entered its tower, and thistime was no
exception. He took note of the majestic mainstaircase, the marble under
his feet, the great tapestries at the landings,and the art that lined the walls
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as they climbed to the sixth floor.
Karch led Raylan down a short hall to the polishedand elaborately carved oak door
that marked his brother's office.
Karch rapped on the door twice, opened it, andthen led him in.
The room was large. On one side was a bookcasebehind a small table with two
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chairs. It was full of similar looking books.
There were papers scattered on the table.
Across the room from the bookcase was a fireplacewhich was empty with the warm
spring weather.
Facing the door beyond a large, colorful rug was aformidable dark wood
desk with a massive window behind it.
The window presented a panoramic view of the northend of the city and the plains
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beyond.
They stopped in front of the desk and stoodwaiting.
Raylan's brother sat behind it, his head down ashe signed one document
after another. His hair was straight and fine anddark like Raylan's, although it
was thinning on top. And also like Raylan, Larsonwas thin and gaunt.
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As he always did, Raylan noted, his brother lookedserious.
His blue Merchant Guild robe hung on a stand nextto the desk.
Raylan smiled. "Hello, Larson." Larson looked upat Raylan and raised his eyebrow, then
glanced at Karch and nodded. Karch turned andslapped Raylan hard across the face with the
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back of his hand.
Raylan staggered backward and brought his hand upto his face.
He wasn't bleeding this time, but his headachereturned with a fury.
"In this room, you are not to call me Larson,Lars, or even brother.
I am the Guildmaster Merchant, and you will treatme as such."
He peered at Raylan. "I'm sorry, sir."
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Raylan bowed his head. He had lost count as to howmany conversations with his
brother ended with those words. That this was howthe conversation was beginning
did not bode well. "Much better." Larson foldedhis hands on the
desk and looked at Raylan. He smiled for a moment,then sighed.
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He leaned back and ran his fingers through hishair.
"I tried so hard to provide you a future, Raylan.
An apprenticeship with the Councilmen, theshopkeepers, even with the White Guard."
He shook his head. "I can't even remember thenumber of opportunities I've presented to you."
At this, Larson slammed his fist on his desk(slams fist) .
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"But you spat in my face at every step." Larson'sface was turning red
and Raylan already knew that the best-casescenario for him was a thrashing and then
probably some time in the guild dungeon.
That Larson and Karch had something worse in mindchilled him.
"Your attitude and actions mock the very guildsthat offered you a home,"
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Larson continued, marking each point by stabbinghis desk with his finger.
He then stood up, his chair nearly falling as itflew backward.
"Starting with this one."
Larson stared at him for a moment.
Raylan didn't move.
Larson clasped his arms behind his back and walkedaround the desk and over to him.
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He took the fabric of Raylan's shirt between twofingers, rubbed them, then
pulled his fingers away as if he had touched thecorpse of a diseased animal.
"The Brawn of the Guildless, Raylan.
Haven't you ever tired of people looking down onyou, wondering why no guild would have you?"
Raylan remained quiet. He knew the question wasrhetorical and his cheek
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still hurt from his last show of independence.
Larson paused and smiled when Raylan didn't reply.
"What do you know of Guildmaster Pietro?"
It was a direct question, so Raylan answered.
"The Guildmaster thief?"
Larson nodded. "He seemed a good sport.
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I got a few tomatoes through the protective cageduring the last Founder's Parade and he just
smiled at
me."
Raylan shrugged. "Ah yes, you take particulardelight in abusing the Guildmaster thief,
do you not?" "It's the tradition." "Do you knowwhy it's a tradition, my dear
brother?" Larson started to smile.Raylan didn'tknow where this was heading,
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but he knew it wasn't going to end well.
So he just went with it in the hopes of gettingany unpleasantness over with sooner
rather than later.
I don't know. Every profession needs a guild, so Iguess that includes the Thieves.
Oh, it is much more than that, Raylan.
Larsen leaned back against his desk.
The thieves are the greatest plague of Ness.
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They hide like rats in dark corners and alleys,only to come out and steal from all of the other
guilds.
Do you know how much of a problem theft hasbecome, brother?
Raylan shook his head.
Um, let me put it this way.
While you have been tossing things at theGuildmaster Thief out of childish joy, there are
hundreds of
citizens taking out their anger at having losttheir clothing, their food, their precious
savings, their
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entire lives to these vile thieves.
Larsen spoke the word "thieves" with a sneer onhis face.
Returning to his seat behind his desk, Larsenadded-
You called Pietro a good sport. How generous ofyou. Others feel the same way, I'm sure.
But should we not hate him?
Do you know why he exists,
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why we allow this symbol of all we despise to liveamong us?
Raylan tried to figure out how to answer thequestion, but he had no idea what
answer his brother wanted.
I don't know. He walked around and people laughedat
him, and then he always took part in the Founder'sDay Parade.
Raylan glanced at Karch for a hint as to how toanswer,
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but Karch stood by impassively.
I guess we make some poor sap the GuildmasterThief, and he represents all the thieves
who are too cowardly to work in a real guild.
Exactly.
Larsen brought his hands together in a small clap.
He is a symbol, a symbol of everything we
in Ness abhor.
Unfortunately, the fact that everyone liked Pietrotells us that he wasn't the correct man for the
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job.
We need someone irresponsible, someone young andwithout the respect that age provides, someone
that
all the guilds can collectively despise.
His brother's intentions were suddenly clear.
Raylan's jaw dropped as Larsen continued.
My dear brother, I am so glad you understand.
As I'm sure you're aware, Guildmaster Pietro diedseveral days ago and...
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Larsen leaned forward, pointed at him, andwhispered.
You are the new Guildmaster Thief.
Raylan didn't move as he tried to make sense ofwhat his brother had just told him.
He thought of Guildmaster Pietro, who wanderedaround Ness in his black
robe, smiling at everyone and occasionallygrabbing fruit off of produce stalls
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in the market district, telling the merchants thathe was, after all, the Guildmaster
Thief.
They would laugh and let him wander on withoutmaking him pay.
Everyone liked him, but no one took him seriously.
Raylan fought through the pain in his head anddiscovered the flaw in his brother's
plan.
Only guild members can vote for a new guildmaster.
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You can't just name me the Guildmaster Thief.
No, I can't. But the council can.
Larsen waved his hand.
With time short before the Founder's Day Parade,and, well, let's be honest, no members in the
Thieves'
Guild, it was prudent of us to take action rightaway.
And, after all, this is, as you so astutely noted,a symbolic position.
Larsen smiled again.
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Uh, I should note that each guild master seemedparticularly delighted in voting for you.
Uh, some even considered you overqualified.
Karch laughed. Larsen stood up.
I'm sure you are overwhelmed with gratitude,brother,
so I'll let Deputy Karch take you to your newquarters.
There is one more thing, sir.
Karch added.
Your brother needs to name a deputy.
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Ah, yes. My brother gets an official stooge.
Raylan immediately thought of Rafe, but he wascertain that Rafe would rather die than
be in a guild as hated as the Thieves.
What about the current deputy? Did Pietro evenhave a deputy?
Before Raylan could object, Karch spoke up.
That would be old Allard, a disgraced formermember of the Knight Guild.
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Karch shrugged.
He is universally loathed.
Larsen tapped his chin.
Oh, yes, I forgot about him. He always wears hishood up, looks like death in that awful black robe
of theirs.
Larsen smiled.
Why, it is a perfect match, is it not? A disgracedformer knight and a guild master that disgraces
the
knights.
Larsen waved a hand.
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Deputy Karch, let Allard know that, out of respectto Pietro, he will be retained as deputy.
In the meantime, take Raylan to the Guildmaster'squarters.
Raylan didn't know Allard, but he resented beingtold who to name as his
deputy.
What if I don't agree to take Allard on as mydeputy?
Then I'll go to the council, and we'll make youtake him as a tribute to Guildmaster Pietro.
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Not even you are so stupid as to object to that.
Larsen's face had reddened a bit at Raylan'sobjection.
He waved his hand and then peered at Raylan, whocould tell his brother's patience was wearing
thin.
Now get out of my sight and scurry down to yournew quarters in the basement, Deputy.
You can't tell me what to do.
Larsen's jaw fell open at Raylan's words.
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He stood up slowly from his desk, staring atRaylan with pure malice in his eyes.
What did you say?
Larsen asked through clenched teeth.
I'm a guild master.
Raylan nodded his head. Sure, he had beenappointed to the most reviled and
unpopular position in Ness, but he was still aguild master.
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Raylan's mind started to work through thepossibilities.
If he was going to be humiliated, he would atleast have fun in the process.
Larsen looked to Karch. Raylan turned and facedKarch before the deputy could act
or his brother could say anything.
And you'd better not strike a guild master.
I don't know the rules yet, but I'm sure that'snot acceptable.
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Larsen stared at Raylan for a moment and thenspoke up.
I should have expected this. You were always tooclever for your own good, brother.
He smiled.
Yes, you will find a few benefits to your newposition,
but let's see how far your lack of respect getsyou, shall we?
He sat back down in his chair and folded hishands.
In fact, Founder's Day is tomorrow. Let's see howwell you enjoy sitting on your wagon having the
citizens
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hurl their garbage at you.
In fact, I believe I shall take part in the funthis year.
I may not throw as well as you, Raylan, but I atleast will be the one doing the throwing.
Raylan tried to hide his horror at the thought ofthe Founder's Day Parade.
He had forgotten that he would be the one sittingin the wagon at the end of the parade,
protected by a cage while the population of Nesstook their anger out on
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him.
It may have been symbolic, but as Raylan knew, thethrown tomatoes and garbage were real.
He turned without saying anything and walkedtoward the door.
Karch raised his voice.
The guild master did not dismiss you.
Without stopping or looking back, Raylanexclaimed.
I am the guild master.
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(instrumental music plays)