November 21, 2023 • 47 mins
Most of the stations aired two episodes each week, usually on the weekends and many times back to back.Many of the stories are based on Rod Serling's scripts from the original Twilight Zone series, and are slightly expanded and updated to reflect contemporary technology and trends and the lack of a visual component. In addition to adapting all of the original episodes aired on the TV series, the radio series has also adapted some Twilight Zone TV scripts which were never produced, scripts from other Serling TV productions, and new stories written especially for the radio series.
Taking Serling's role as narrator is Stacy Keach. Different Hollywood actors, such as Blair Underwood and Jim Caviezel, take the lead role in each radio drama. In addition, several stars who appeared on the original TV series, such as H.M. Wynant, Orson Bean and Morgan Brittany, appear, although purposely not in the roles they originated on television. The series features a full cast, music and sound effects and is produced in the flavor of classic radio dramas but using today's technology.
In addition to being an homage to the original Twilight Zone TV series, the radio dramas pay tribute to the era of classic radio drama, including allusions to radio dramas such as Gunsmoke, the presence of radio legend Stan Freberg in many episodes, and the sons (Stacy Keach, Ed Begley Jr.) of radio drama personalities Stacy Keach Sr. and Ed Begley as stars in the series.
Taking Serling's role as narrator is Stacy Keach. Different Hollywood actors, such as Blair Underwood and Jim Caviezel, take the lead role in each radio drama. In addition, several stars who appeared on the original TV series, such as H.M. Wynant, Orson Bean and Morgan Brittany, appear, although purposely not in the roles they originated on television. The series features a full cast, music and sound effects and is produced in the flavor of classic radio dramas but using today's technology.
In addition to being an homage to the original Twilight Zone TV series, the radio dramas pay tribute to the era of classic radio drama, including allusions to radio dramas such as Gunsmoke, the presence of radio legend Stan Freberg in many episodes, and the sons (Stacy Keach, Ed Begley Jr.) of radio drama personalities Stacy Keach Sr. and Ed Begley as stars in the series.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Lag starring Blair Underwood with Stacy Keachas your narrator, was adapted for radio
by Dennis Etchison and written for theTwilight Zone by Charles Beaumont. Heard in
the cast were Jeff Lupeton, ChristianStolty, and Joeby Serney. To learn
more about the Twilight Zone radio dramasand to obtain audio cassettes and CDs of
these programs, visit our website attwilight Zone Radio dot com. The producers
(00:29):
of The Twilight Zone wish to thankCBS Enterprises, Carol Serling, Dennis Etchison,
Dick Bresha Associates, Claire Simon,Casting, Terry Jennings, Exim Satellite
Radio, Serious Satellite Radio, oursponsors, and our radio affiliates for helping
make this series possible. This copyrightedradio series is produced and directed by Karl
(00:51):
Lamari for Falcon Picture Group. DougJames Peaking. There is a fifth dimension
beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as
(01:15):
space and as timeless as infinity.It is the middle ground between light and
shadow, and it lies between thepit of man's fears and the summit of
his knowledge. This is the dimensionof imagination. It is an area which
we call the twilight zone. Kirby, Yes, captain, give me the
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readings course stable seven point nine offvertical axis. That's why I can't stand
up straight speed twenty six fifty steady, She goes, how close are we
to that asteroid? In range?Gravity detectors starting to read, say one
(02:20):
hundred thousand give or take piece ofcake. You still have to maneuver for
a landing fuel supply. Well,captain, let me put it this way.
If I was back home in mycar, I'd pray for a steep
hill so I could put her inneutral and coast all the way down.
That bad huh? I think theexpression is running on fumes? What's the
(02:42):
terrain? Spectrographics coming in? Andnot too hot, not too cold?
Volcanic activity a million or so yearsago. We are hitting atmosphere. At
least it's got an atmosphere. Howmuch oxygen? I'm trying to get a
reading deceleration chairs just a minute now, better do it? Be alright,
(03:08):
myers. I'm going firing metro rockets. If you'll tanks empty, Captain,
anybody got a parachute hang on?Angle? Looks good? Thank Heaven for
small favors. The services coming infast. I'll try to level her out.
(03:29):
No, it's not nobody say anything. I want to remember this magic
(03:50):
moment. Oh. Everything seems tobe in one piece except for the communications
module and sounds like you damaged thetail of simply instruments are still working.
How's the atmosphere? Take a reading? Twenty point ninety five parts oxygen?
(04:13):
Yeah right, seventy eight point nineparts nitrogen. That's impossible. I don't
get it. That's air. Don'tlook a gift horse in the chops.
Gravity one unit too point ninety nine? Are you sure see for yourself?
Captain, I don't believe it.You've got something better to believe, myers.
(04:38):
But that's incredible conditions identical to Earth, and yet we're six hundred and
fifty five million miles away from Earth. Let's get the air lock open.
Hold up, hold up, petewhat four? I'm sick of breathe of
recirculated air, eating freeze, driedtofu and we're almost out of that.
Instruments could be wrong. What's thedifference. We aren't going anywhere for a
(05:00):
while. We can't even radio forhelp till we fix the module. The
man has a point. I supposeyou write it. At least put on
your helmets. Forget it. Ifthis is all she wrote that, I'm
ready for it one way or another. I'm afraid I'm with Pete on this,
Captain. Either we die now orwe die later, starving to death
(05:24):
like dogs. All right, openit. This isn't in order, but
I'd recommend everyone take a very deepbreath. Time the future place a dark
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corner of the universe, millions ofmiles from planet Earth. The main characters
three men, William Webber, CaptainPeter Kirby, navigator Karl Myers, just
a science consultant, each distinct fromthe others, but all sharing a common
dilemma. They are lost, andlike any long haul explorers, they want
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to go home. Not their homenecessarily, that would be too much to
hope for. But at this pointany old port in the storm will do,
especially for those who have veered offcourse and into the Twilight Zone.
And now the Twilight Zone and ourstory elegy starring Blair Underwood with Stacy Keats
(06:35):
as your narrator. Captain's notes,We've made a rough landing, but no
injuries according to our instruments, theatmosphere is breathable, so we've opened the
airlock. It's hard to believe,but the temperature is that of a spring
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day on Earth. Smells clean.I'll be get the ladder into position.
Watch a step. How many milesdid you say we were from Earth?
(07:26):
Too many? Time for a realitycheck? You see the same thing I
see, Captain. What do yousee? Open country, farmland, kirby
firmative acres of grass trees. Igrew up in a place like this in
the Midwest. And those hills they'resettled granite, I'm sure eroded over thousands
(07:48):
of years of wind rain. Idon't get it. You gonna do all
right? Wait a minute, Ido. Don't you see we're back on
Earth? Come off, I'm serious. The instruments are all screwed up some
way or another. Don't ask mehow we got turned around and now here
we are, right back where westarted. Oh man, that is rich.
(08:11):
Only one thing's missing, a brassband. Maybe they forgot about us.
It's an interesting theory except for onething. As far as I know,
Earth has never had two sons inthe sky. You're right, but
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the temperature's perfect. That means they'resmaller than our sun. Added together,
they put out just enough energy toduplicate conditions on our own planet, including
evolution, and the people learned tobuild farmhouses exactly like ours. What if
that's not a barn over there,painted red, it's a pretty good imitational
(09:01):
one. What in the name?Better check it out? Be careful.
Then we don't know what we're dealingwith yet. What do you call this
a martian? I'd call it ahound dog? Hey there, boy,
how come he's not moving? He'staking a nap in the shade. I
(09:24):
don't blame him to you. Whatthe heck is that by the barn.
It's called a tractor. They wereinternal combustion vehicles used in the twentieth and
twenty first centuries before the Total War. So we are on Earth three hundred
years ago. Negative, we're notequipped for time travel. Okay, you
explain it. I can't. Theonly thing I know for sure is that
(09:46):
we're not on Earth and we arenot alone. What do you? Hey,
hey, you over there by thebarn. What's the matter? Can't
you see us? He's turned theother way. It looks like he's taking
a rest, leaning on his It'sa pitch for he was using it to
(10:09):
load hay into the wagon. Someoutfit overalls farmer's worth him with straw hats
just like that one. He evenhas a red bent dan in his back
pocket. Well, I suggest weask him the way to the Emerald City.
(10:30):
Excuse me, sir, My nameis Captain Weber. My men and
I sir, sir, I hateto bother you, but that's our ship
over there. We've crashed landed.If you can tell us, sir,
sir, can you hear me?What's the matter with him? Seems to
(10:50):
be in some sort of trance.Are his eyes open? Yes, but
move your hand in front of hisface nothing as if he's don't touch him.
It's all right. His skin's warm, but there's no respiration. It
seems to be frozen in place.Well, let's move on. Let's say
that again. This is giving methe creeps. We'll recon the surrounding area.
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There may be others. Oh,now, this is what I call
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a lake, that's what anyone wouldcall it. Pete easy, easy,
be sure the bridge will hold.Feels solid to me. We got to
take off these flight suits and jumpin. No thanks, why not?
Well, go on say it,you can't swim, can you not?
As such? The big scientist.Wait a minute, maybe we can find
(12:01):
some water wings for you. It'sgonna move on. We have a lot
of ground to cover back home.We had a swimming hole man on a
hot day, I thought I wasin heaven. We'd go skinny dipping right
in all that pollution. Nah.Before the government closed the rivers, they
were even fishing it. You couldeven see him jumping in the air.
Do you ever go fishing, Captain. As a matter of fact, I
(12:24):
did in the mountains the runoff andthe snow was clean. There. You
can eat the fish if you wantedto and not get sick. I don't
see any fish in this water.We better keep moving. We don't know
when the suns go down. Weshould be back of the ship before dark,
just to be safe. Good point. Maybe they don't have fish here.
That's a possibility if the planet's evolutiontook a different turn. Hey,
(12:46):
there's somebody. I don't see anythingon the opposite bank, clad shirt.
See him sitting there with a fishingpole and mister hey, mister Kirby's right
folding chair, wicker basket. Thewhole setup looks like the guy's got it
made. Let's hope this one talksto strangers. My dear, fella,
(13:11):
how's it going fish biting today?Mom's the word? Huh? Let me
try it. I'm sorry to botheryou, sir, but you might say
we're lost if you could give usdirections to the nearest town. Don't waste
your breath. This one's a stifftoo. Maybe he's asleep. If he
is, he's done well for himself. This basket is called a creole.
(13:35):
It's full a fish, quite ahole fresh, it smells like it.
Hold on, is that a bottleof beer next to him? It is?
Indeed, only it's empty. Well, where's he got the cold one
stashed? Fella? Can you hearus? Do you even know we're here?
Can't see his face looped up thebrim of his hat? Okay,
(13:58):
here go. Sorry, nothing personal. I just like to look a man
in the eye when I talk tohim, even if he doesn't talk back.
What did you do? Nothing?Just barely touched him and he fell
over. Well, at least weknow he's not a statue, no pulse
like the farmer, but his skinfeels real. Sen him up again,
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exactly the way we found him.I get it. Get what he's off
the clock? Way off? What'sthat supposed to me? Pete and I
used to joke about it in flightschool. There are twenty four hours in
a day, but sometimes that's notenough. You're not kidding. All my
life, I've wanted extra time tomeet a book, write a novel,
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or go fishing, spend some timein the country, meet a girl and
get married, or just take anap for crying out loud. But I
was too busy. We all were. So the only answer is to fit
some extra hours into the day.Hours that don't show up on the clock,
that don't count. I don't see. Look got it like this?
What if you could stop time fora few minutes or a few hours at
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least as far as everybody else isconcerned. Think of what you could do.
They stand there frozen while you runoff and do whatever it is you
need to do. Then when you'refinished, you run back and time starts
again. They move and walk andtalk and go on with what they were
saying, and they never so muchas know you were gone. Is that
a plan or what? I wish? We could have done something like that
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on the ship. If I hadhad time for pure uninterrupted thought, and
I might have, oh, Idon't know, perfected Sheldrake's theory of causative
formation while the ship ran itself.That's right, and get home to find
you've won your own no bell rightnow, we make a planet fall and
we run into these people, ifthat's what they are, and it's as
(15:52):
if we've finally done exactly that.Taking ourselves off the clock, at least
temporarily permanently would be fine by me. Nice theory, Captain. I'm afraid
there are reasons, though, whyit wouldn't work. I am sure there
are is just a thought. IfI were a science fiction writer, I
could have some fun with it.But we've got more important things to do,
(16:15):
like finding out what options we havenow that we're here. Say I'm
hearing things. I hear it too. Seems to be coming from the top
of the ridge, beyond that groveof trees that must be where the town
is. We were close after all. Sounds like you got your brass band
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people. I like it. Maybethey got a ticker tape parade too.
One way to find out, Captain'sjournal. You appear to be on the
(17:00):
main street of a Midwestern American town. Ahead of us is the square,
complete steeple clock and ivy covered walls. Captain, did you notice what's that?
There are no hands on the clock, duly noted. The music's louder.
(17:22):
I hope this re quorter can pickit up. Sounds like a Suso
march. There's a bandstand, flagsbunting, and a sign that says inauguration
ceremony, Welcome Mayor Finch. Musiciansare all in uniform. Just one thing.
They're not really playing. Kirby's right, nobody's moving, not even Mayor
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Finch. It's holding a silk hatof photographers in front of the crowd,
about to take his picture, butnothing's happening. It's like a like a
movie set with a hundred extras allwaiting for someone to yell action. The
question is who's directing. I'm goingto look around were we're out. The
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music's coming from that loud speaker nearthe platform. It's being piped in from
somewhere pre recorded. No doubt concert'sover. Wonder who turned it off?
Any ideas, Professor Well, Isuppose it could all be part of a
carefully orchestrated delusion. That's as goodan explanation as any. Now, maybe
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we're being made to see and hearwhat we hoped we'd find here, the
sights and sound of home. Butthey ain't got it wrong. It's three
hundred years before our time. Who'sthey or it could be that time itself
is somehow suspended in this place,so we really are off the clock.
It's all relative. Time may havein a sense speed it up for us
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or slowed down for them. Youmean they might actually be moving. It's
possible. Why can't we see it? You can't see them movement of a
clock's hands. Nevertheless, they move, Yeah, when there are hands.
Do you believe what you're saying?Of course not. Hey, everybody,
sir, ma'am, what's the matterwith you people? Are we invisible or
(19:14):
something? Don't think it personally.By the looks of them, they don't
see anything. They might as wellbe statues, but they're not statues.
Here feel one, you, sir, shake hands with the captain. See
what I mean? They feel likeflesh and blood. Yeah, Kirby's right,
more of the same. Whoever orwhatever is responsible, they've created a
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perfect imitation of the real thing allover this asteroid. For what purpose now,
I don't have a clue. Theexpenditure of time and effort is considerable,
not to mention the science involved.The skin on these pseudo people must
be a new polymer compound, andthe clothing all duplications of earth fabrics.
(20:00):
I wonder man, never mind sayit. Well, we must not be
the first to land here. Butthis asteroid's not on the charts. Then
who were they modeled after? Maybesomebody, somebody real is still here?
Where could be anywhere? The streets, the buildings. I say we separate,
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we'll meet back here in an hour. Well it's better than huddling together
like frightened children. Right, Pete, you go that way, Carl,
see where the street leads, andtake some readings while you're at all.
Right, I'll cover the buildings alongthis side, starting with the hotel.
Remember one hour? Are you watching? Set? Yeah? Yes, don't
ask me what to set it too, though, Earth time or something else
entirely Captain's notes. The Auning saysthe hotel is called the ritz Arms kind
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of point it would be considered ritzy. I guess in small town glass front,
nothing moving inside that I can seeI should have about the US can
record this. There's a clerk behindthe desk, not moving, of course,
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and all this is classic. There'san alcove off to one side.
I can see four men seated arounda table of green lampshade money. I
think they're playing poker, or theywere before they stopped moving. There's a
waitress with a tray full of ks. The big winner seems to be a
little man with a gray mustache,not your typical gambler, but he's all
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set to regular chips. He looksmighty happy. Hey you fellow. I
wonder what cars he's got here.I don't think of mind if I take
a peek. Four big beautiful aces. Nice work. Hold on, hold
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on, if I'm not mistaken.That's a waltz coming from upstairs. Music
seems to be in one of therooms. Hello, Hello, anybody here
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car? Oh sorry, excuse me. This room is is definitely occupied.
There's a candle on the table.I see I s bucket in the bottle
of champagne. The music is canned. A couple is posed in a slow
dance. She has a rose inher teeth, and he's got her bent
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back in a dip, kissing herthroat. And what is she doing with
him? A short, ugly manlooks like he's never had a girl feet
in his life, but she's uglybeauty. I don't know what's going on
to you, but I'm beginning tosee a pattern. The theme seems to
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be dreams really can come true.But who's dreams? Who's fulfilling them?
For what purpose? Where we're atfind anything? Nope, at least nothing
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that moves Pete, Not really exceptfor what you guys better see this for
yourselves. Come with me. Whereis it? Just around the corner.
You're not gonna believe this, butI think it's what they called a carnival.
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That's what it is, all right. The midway those booths along either
side. People could win various trinketsof low value by throwing baseballs at steel
milk bottles or firing toy rifles attargets. I was wondering a test of
skill or amusement. Also the urgeto gamble for those with a predilection for
obsessive compulsive behavior. What's in thetent? Oh? Just some men in
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swimming trunks. When five hundred dollarsgo two rounds with tiger loomis it's not
a real tiger, No kidding,genius. Let's have a look inside.
That must be tiger if there's stripeson his trunks. Yeah. One lying
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down in the ring. Some crowd. Huh, Almost as many as the
town hall, complete with sound effects. Two pugilists duking it out, as
they say, a primitive display oftestosterone poisoning. Check out the other guy
with his hand raised. That,my friends, is what's known as a
potbelly. Yes, but why toomany carbohydrates, not enough exercise, plus
(25:42):
a certain genetic predisposition. But whywould he be the one who wins?
It must have been a lucky punch. Looks like old tigers down for the
count. Interesting and I think it'screepy. All these imitation people posed every
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which way. What do we haveover there? I believe it's called a
sideshow. Scantily clad young ladies whodance for the crowd, which is primarily
male. That's nothing. Check outthe stage at the end. See I
was saving the best for last.Get an eyeful of this. There's a
little contest signed beauty queen chosen today. Step right up, gents. You
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got your blonde, your brunettes,your redhead, your tall ones, your
short, stubby ones. Take yourpick, I'd say the judges have already
made their selection. Cast your eyeson Miss Lakewood County some bathing suitam it
was called a bikini after the locationof the first Adambaum test. Of course,
if you like I'm a little morecurvy, there's always Miss Midvale,
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a little on the hefty side.For me personally, I like Miss Vernon
County and the strapless white two piece, and they all lost. Kind of
breaks your heart, don't it.The one they've chosen with the ribbon and
the crown. Miss Wanda Bertolini fromStockton, California a little long in the
tooth, isn't she thirty nine?If she's a day freckles, frizzy hair,
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the whole bit, And yet she'swon against all those beauties great no
accounting for taste. Perhaps the competitionwas rigged. Yes, yes, yes,
yes yes, But why, yourmajesty, my compliments to the judges.
I don't blame them. They thinkyou're the prettiest one of all where
with pride. But tell me something, your majesty, what's wrong with you?
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I mean, you can't even movea muscle like everybody else in this
crazy asteroid. Answer me, goon, what's the matter? Cat got
your tongue? Answer me easy,Pete, Ah, you can have it.
Everything about this place is nuts.Where are you going? Wait,
(28:08):
Pete, don't let it get toyou. None of us knows what's going
on. But until we figure itout, I'm sorry, all right,
but you know how long we've beenon that ship. You know, we
set down and what do we find. We all feel the same way,
sure we do, but it's likesomebody's trying to trick us into something,
or drive us baddy, something thatdoesn't even think like us, but it's
(28:29):
got our number. Oh yeah,let me tell you. You've got to
pull yourself together. I'm pulling allright. But if we've just had some
idea, some clue about what thedeal is here in this crummy place,
how are you fixed for ideas?Carl? I don't really have a theory
yet. Of course, it's highlyimprobable, but so is the fact that
we're here. Come up. Anytheory is better than none. Well,
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I've begun to think that all ofthis it just might be some sort of
museum. Come again, Professor,We're millions of miles from Earth. It's
possible that The inhabitants of this planet, whoever they are or were, developed
a very advanced technology. Let's saythey had a super powerful scanning device based
on some new principle. Over theyears, they observed Earth and decided to
(29:17):
build replicas of what they observed.Perhaps they even took specimens to use as
models that would explain the accounts ofalien abductions. If that's true, where
are these inhabitants now gone? Perhapshaving moved on and left all this behind.
It could be in hiding. Thenwe better explore the rest of it,
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or as much as we can inone day. At least they had
taste. Take the residential street we'reon now, it's right out of the
late nineteenth century old growth trees,Victorian houses. Why this era, why
any of it? It must haveinterested them. What practical purpose I can't
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imagine now, Maybe just to pleasethemselves. This is the way it was
on Earth a few centuries ago.I've seen pictures, the streets, the
houses and everything lean out so peacefully. You guys like it here. I
would if I knew it was real, if I could be sure it wasn't
all going to vanish in a puffof pink smoke. It's an okay place
(30:22):
to visit, but I wouldn't wantto live here. Well, you better
get used to it. This isgoing to be home for a while.
Charming. Which one the largest housethere across the street. That one's a
mansion, isn't it? Lovely?Think of the freedom, the space to
move about? You want it?It's yours? Yes, that's true,
isn't it? Why not? Idon't think anyone will mind, least of
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all the old fell in the chairon the porch, another stiff. It's
actually quite realistic the way they've gotthem sitting there reading the paper. What's
the date on the front page?Hey, they're old time. You don't
care if we look around? Doyou check out the inside? Not at
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all? Gentlemen, you are mostwelcome, jeez, Louise, he talks
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forgive us, sir. You alllook as though you've seen a ghost.
We assumed that you were like theothers. Oh no, no, no,
no no, I'm Captain Weber.The name is Wickwire, Jeremy Wickwire.
Ah our pleasure, Peter Kirby,my navigator. Hi, Karl Myers,
how do you do? I can'tbelieve you're real? Isn't everybody we
(31:56):
used to think, so not aroundhere. Oh, the others are nothing
to be afraid of, really they'renot. We have so many questions.
I don't know where to start.We can talk inside some tea perhaps,
please, gentlemen, won't you comein one lump or two? Oh,
(32:27):
don't go to any trouble. It'sbetter than what we're used to. Believe
me, I don't know bout you, Captain, but I must have my
tea this time of day. Iwouldn't feel complete without it. Oh,
it tastes great, nice and hot. Beats the heck out of that tang.
I'll say. Remarkable collection of artifactsyou have here, artifacts, the
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Oriental rugs, the tapestries, allthis furniture. I've never seen anything to
compare. It provides a certain levelof comfort. Must have cost you a
fortune, Oh not me personally.We had it built for a mister.
Let me see jen Jenkins, Jenkinson, I believe it was. You mean
(33:15):
the pieces aren't antiques, Oh heavensno, they were made to the client's
specifications. At the last moment,however, he changed his mind, decided
he really wanted to be a Knightin Shining Armor. So now he's over
in the medieval section slaying a dragon. Then there's more that we haven't seen,
(33:39):
dear me. Yes, we havemany sections Rome, Egypt, the
Wild West, but the one we'rein right now is very popular. It
represents a period when creature comforts weremost abundant, before peace in the world
became impossible. By the world,you mean Earth, mister wick Chore,
(34:10):
I don't know where to begin.You see, we are from Earth.
Yes, of course. We wereon a routine geological flight in search of
ore to be mined. We raninto a meteor storm and well knocked out
some of our equipment and put usoff course. That was six months ago.
(34:32):
Really that long? It feels alot longer, believe me. Please
go on. We saw this asteroidand landed as well as we could.
There's no more fuel. We're goingto have to stay here until we can
repair the communications module and signal forhelp. They'll think our ship was destroyed
(34:52):
without an SOS beacon. I see, I see. Then you're not from
the Glades. What I've been expectingthem. I'm due for a delivery from
Earth. May I ask a questionabout the Earth? Did they any chance
have that atomic war? Not assuch? A cluster of smaller wars.
(35:15):
Almost simultaneously, most of the Earth'sservice was destroyed. We're still picking up
the pieces. Oh, dear me, that is bad news or dei gentlemen,
mister Wickwire, explain some things tous before we go out of our
minds. Ab certainly, but youdo look hungry and you can say that
(35:39):
again. Let me fix us alight lunch first, then we'll talk.
No, no, no, misterwick explain some things to us before we
go out of our minds. Ifyou like, where are we Why you're
in a memorial park A memorial morecommonly known as a cemetery. Didn't you
(36:02):
know please make yourselves at home.I'll be back in no time. Did
he say cemetery? What? Atleast we know more than we did.
You act like nothing's happened, Nothinghas happened, Yeah, just give it
time. What would you suggest wedo? I'd suggest that you settle down,
(36:24):
fellas getting upset is going to helphelp who There isn't anybody to help
us. That old man's off hisrocker. This place is some kind of
looney bitch. Shut up and sitdown. Yeah, I tell you I
don't like it. We're sitting aroundhaving tea, and we don't even know
where we are. It doesn't makeany difference where we are. This is
where we're going to stay until wecan set a distress signal, unless he
(36:46):
happens to have some rocket fuel anda tail fin assembly lying around. So
for now, all we can dois make the best of it. Yeah,
we don't have to like it.Do we be patient? Everything will
be explained. I'm sure trust thatguy. A little more trust might have
saved our world. Pete, Isay something about him is screwing? What's
(37:06):
he so happy and well adjusted about? Well? Look at the way he
lives. He's got everything he wants, even if it is a reproduction.
Quiet, here he comes. I'vebrought some sandwiches and a bottle of wine.
I trust will make quick work ofit. You can say that again.
I haven't had a drinking I don'tknow how long, and after that
(37:30):
coffee it's brewing now. Meanwhile,a glass for each of us, do
you mind if I pour very kindof you, mister waguire, May I
propose a toast please to peace,my friends, eternal, everlasting peace.
(37:50):
I'll drink to that. We allwill excellent wine glad you like it.
This is a special occasion. Ithought it was worth opening a bottle leave
from milch, isn't it? Yes? Indeed, mister wick Wire was still
a bit confused. You said wewere in a cemetery. What did you
(38:14):
mean mean? Yeah? Why wouldthere be a cemetery here? Perhaps you
could elaborate, certainly, But beforeI explained the details, you must give
me some information if you like.If your dearest wish could be granted,
what would it be? I'm notsure I understand. What would you like
(38:37):
to be doing? Most? Wherewould you choose to be? Right now?
Hat's easy. Back on the shipheaded for home, and you captain.
I'll go along with that, sowill I splendid? Oh? One
other thing? When you left Earth? What was the date? September?
(38:57):
No? No, no, no? The year twenty two eighty? Really
twenty to eighty. When you arrived, I thought you were the men from
Happy Glades, But you couldn't be. We're still not following you. What's
Happy Glades? The world's greatest mortuary? At least it used to be.
(39:19):
The management hit upon this scheme asa service to the few who could afford
it, the scheme being why thislittle asteroid. Moriarity bought it and paid
well to keep it off the mapsfor what reason? Simple really, you
see, the plan was to recreateconditions in which the dearly departed would be
(39:40):
most happy, a favorite setting,a desired event. For example, if
one had always wanted to be electedmayor, he'd achieve his ambition here for
all eternity. So those people outside, they're all oh, not all of
them, just the select feel Therest are imitations simul hacro. We call
(40:06):
them for effect. In other words, this is the place where your dreams
come true after you've stopped dreaming.Yes, that might be a way of
putting it. Very good, Buta cemetery in the middle of space,
your boss, moriorty, he couldhave bought a piece of property anywhere in
the desert, sayd away from everything. Oh no, you don't understand at
(40:30):
all, Happy glades promises, eternalpiece, everlasting piece. You couldn't have
that on earth, now, couldyou, especially with the wars you've described.
He has a point. Let's finishthe wine, shall we. It
doesn't keep well once it's opened.Thank you, cheers. Would you like
(40:55):
some music? What kind somewhat limitedrepertoire. But there are all kinds of
pieces for the player piano. Popularclassical. Classical might be nice. Ah,
yes, something soothing to fit themood. Mozart or Brams a good
(41:20):
choice, I thought. So drinkup, gentlemen before I bring the coffee,
unless you'd like something more to eat. I have some teacakes in the
kitchen. What about you me?Yes, how do you fit in?
Why? I'm the caretaker. It'smy job to make sure that our guests
(41:40):
are not disturbed. This mortuary orwhatever it is. When was it built?
Let me see? The year wastwenty one seventy seven. I believe
it's almost one hundred years ago.That makes you a little on the elderly
side, doesn't it. Mister Wickwire. You forced me to an embarrassing admission.
(42:01):
You see, I'm not actually human. When you're gone, I'll go
back to sleep, as it were, until i'm needed again. I go
on and off like a machine,you understand, now, Sure nothing complicated
about that? He goes on andoff. I've apparently been turned off for
(42:23):
several decades. One thing, misterWickwire, We're not going anywhere. We
can't. We're staying here at leastfor the time being. Yes, I
know you said something about when we'regone a figure of speech, Captain,
I meant departed, gone on asit were, Jim, you know what
(42:47):
he's saying. It's a matter.Carl. You're pale and you're perspiring.
What in the something wrong with thewine? The old man he didn't drink
any of his? Why why didn'tyou re wi? I told you not
(43:09):
to trust him. I told you, Oh, he's poisoned us. We
met you no harm. I realizedthat, and I'm sorry, truly I
am. Give us the ndidote,Give us the aide. There is no
(43:34):
antidote, Captain. Even now,the eternifying fluid is coursing through your veins.
It won't be painful, I assureyou. Oh you've got to stop
it. Oh, my dear friends, can't you understand I have no control
(43:55):
in these matters. I'm only amachine. But why why us? Because
you're here and your men, andwhile there are men, there can be
no peace. Surely you've seen ampleevidence of that on earth. What are
(44:15):
you going to do with us?There are several possibilities, but as you
said, your preference is to beon your ship, so be it.
I'll move you there and arrange youin your natural habitat, and every day
for a while I'll come by andcheck on the display your poses, the
(44:39):
instruments, and other details, andi'll touch them up if me be,
with a feather duster, so thatthe scene is absolutely perfect, before I
retire to this house and turn myselfoff until the next ship arrives. I
trust it will be a dream cometrue for you. You it will,
(45:04):
won't it for the love of God. With wire the love of God.
You'll excuse me now, but Imust make ready, and gentlemen, I
do most sincerely wish that you restin peace. Captain, goodbye. Captain
(45:31):
easy easy, easy call, easycar, don't find it. They'll only
walk fast. Bill, I'm scared. Try not to be people. I'll
with you. Backed ship were alleternity m seal, All the captain,
(46:22):
Webber, his navigator, Kirby,and Meyer the geologist. On their last
voyage and now at their journey's end, all agreed what they wanted most was
to be aboard their ship, wheredyto head home. Now they will have
that wish forever. Unfortunately, it'sa wish that can only come true in
(46:44):
a twilight Zone. The Twilight Zonecontinues. In just a moment, you
are about to enter another dimension,a dimension not only of sight and sound,
but of mind, a journey intoa wondrous land of imagination. Next
stop the Twilight Zone. Hi,this is Stacy Keach. I'd like to
(47:06):
take a moment to tell you aboutour Twilight Zone website at twilight Zone Radio
dot com. At twilight Zone Radiodot com, you'll find the latest information
on these Twilight Zone radio dramas,including behind the scenes photographs, plus the
newest product releases, trivia contests,ways to contact us, other Twilight Zone
related info and merchandise, plus linksto other fascinating websites. So make your
(47:30):
next stop twilight Zone Radio dot com. Visit twilight Zone Radio dot com to
purchase these twilight Zone radio dramas oncassette and CD, or call toll free
one eight six six nine eight nineZone. That's one eight six six nine
eight nine nine six six three
Lag starring Blair Underwood with Stacy Keachas your narrator, was adapted for radio
by Dennis Etchison and written for theTwilight Zone by Charles Beaumont. Heard in
the cast were Jeff Lupeton, ChristianStolty, and Joeby Serney. To learn
more about the Twilight Zone radio dramasand to obtain audio cassettes and CDs of
these programs, visit our website attwilight Zone Radio dot com. The producers
(00:29):
of The Twilight Zone wish to thankCBS Enterprises, Carol Serling, Dennis Etchison,
Dick Bresha Associates, Claire Simon,Casting, Terry Jennings, Exim Satellite
Radio, Serious Satellite Radio, oursponsors, and our radio affiliates for helping
make this series possible. This copyrightedradio series is produced and directed by Karl
(00:51):
Lamari for Falcon Picture Group. DougJames Peaking. There is a fifth dimension
beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as
(01:15):
space and as timeless as infinity.It is the middle ground between light and
shadow, and it lies between thepit of man's fears and the summit of
his knowledge. This is the dimensionof imagination. It is an area which
we call the twilight zone. Kirby, Yes, captain, give me the
(01:57):
readings course stable seven point nine offvertical axis. That's why I can't stand
up straight speed twenty six fifty steady, She goes, how close are we
to that asteroid? In range?Gravity detectors starting to read, say one
(02:20):
hundred thousand give or take piece ofcake. You still have to maneuver for
a landing fuel supply. Well,captain, let me put it this way.
If I was back home in mycar, I'd pray for a steep
hill so I could put her inneutral and coast all the way down.
That bad huh? I think theexpression is running on fumes? What's the
(02:42):
terrain? Spectrographics coming in? Andnot too hot, not too cold?
Volcanic activity a million or so yearsago. We are hitting atmosphere. At
least it's got an atmosphere. Howmuch oxygen? I'm trying to get a
reading deceleration chairs just a minute now, better do it? Be alright,
(03:08):
myers. I'm going firing metro rockets. If you'll tanks empty, Captain,
anybody got a parachute hang on?Angle? Looks good? Thank Heaven for
small favors. The services coming infast. I'll try to level her out.
(03:29):
No, it's not nobody say anything. I want to remember this magic
(03:50):
moment. Oh. Everything seems tobe in one piece except for the communications
module and sounds like you damaged thetail of simply instruments are still working.
How's the atmosphere? Take a reading? Twenty point ninety five parts oxygen?
(04:13):
Yeah right, seventy eight point nineparts nitrogen. That's impossible. I don't
get it. That's air. Don'tlook a gift horse in the chops.
Gravity one unit too point ninety nine? Are you sure see for yourself?
Captain, I don't believe it.You've got something better to believe, myers.
(04:38):
But that's incredible conditions identical to Earth, and yet we're six hundred and
fifty five million miles away from Earth. Let's get the air lock open.
Hold up, hold up, petewhat four? I'm sick of breathe of
recirculated air, eating freeze, driedtofu and we're almost out of that.
Instruments could be wrong. What's thedifference. We aren't going anywhere for a
(05:00):
while. We can't even radio forhelp till we fix the module. The
man has a point. I supposeyou write it. At least put on
your helmets. Forget it. Ifthis is all she wrote that, I'm
ready for it one way or another. I'm afraid I'm with Pete on this,
Captain. Either we die now orwe die later, starving to death
(05:24):
like dogs. All right, openit. This isn't in order, but
I'd recommend everyone take a very deepbreath. Time the future place a dark
(05:46):
corner of the universe, millions ofmiles from planet Earth. The main characters
three men, William Webber, CaptainPeter Kirby, navigator Karl Myers, just
a science consultant, each distinct fromthe others, but all sharing a common
dilemma. They are lost, andlike any long haul explorers, they want
(06:11):
to go home. Not their homenecessarily, that would be too much to
hope for. But at this pointany old port in the storm will do,
especially for those who have veered offcourse and into the Twilight Zone.
And now the Twilight Zone and ourstory elegy starring Blair Underwood with Stacy Keats
(06:35):
as your narrator. Captain's notes,We've made a rough landing, but no
injuries according to our instruments, theatmosphere is breathable, so we've opened the
airlock. It's hard to believe,but the temperature is that of a spring
(07:00):
day on Earth. Smells clean.I'll be get the ladder into position.
Watch a step. How many milesdid you say we were from Earth?
(07:26):
Too many? Time for a realitycheck? You see the same thing I
see, Captain. What do yousee? Open country, farmland, kirby
firmative acres of grass trees. Igrew up in a place like this in
the Midwest. And those hills they'resettled granite, I'm sure eroded over thousands
(07:48):
of years of wind rain. Idon't get it. You gonna do all
right? Wait a minute, Ido. Don't you see we're back on
Earth? Come off, I'm serious. The instruments are all screwed up some
way or another. Don't ask mehow we got turned around and now here
we are, right back where westarted. Oh man, that is rich.
(08:11):
Only one thing's missing, a brassband. Maybe they forgot about us.
It's an interesting theory except for onething. As far as I know,
Earth has never had two sons inthe sky. You're right, but
(08:39):
the temperature's perfect. That means they'resmaller than our sun. Added together,
they put out just enough energy toduplicate conditions on our own planet, including
evolution, and the people learned tobuild farmhouses exactly like ours. What if
that's not a barn over there,painted red, it's a pretty good imitational
(09:01):
one. What in the name?Better check it out? Be careful.
Then we don't know what we're dealingwith yet. What do you call this
a martian? I'd call it ahound dog? Hey there, boy,
how come he's not moving? He'staking a nap in the shade. I
(09:24):
don't blame him to you. Whatthe heck is that by the barn.
It's called a tractor. They wereinternal combustion vehicles used in the twentieth and
twenty first centuries before the Total War. So we are on Earth three hundred
years ago. Negative, we're notequipped for time travel. Okay, you
explain it. I can't. Theonly thing I know for sure is that
(09:46):
we're not on Earth and we arenot alone. What do you? Hey,
hey, you over there by thebarn. What's the matter? Can't
you see us? He's turned theother way. It looks like he's taking
a rest, leaning on his It'sa pitch for he was using it to
(10:09):
load hay into the wagon. Someoutfit overalls farmer's worth him with straw hats
just like that one. He evenhas a red bent dan in his back
pocket. Well, I suggest weask him the way to the Emerald City.
(10:30):
Excuse me, sir, My nameis Captain Weber. My men and
I sir, sir, I hateto bother you, but that's our ship
over there. We've crashed landed.If you can tell us, sir,
sir, can you hear me?What's the matter with him? Seems to
(10:50):
be in some sort of trance.Are his eyes open? Yes, but
move your hand in front of hisface nothing as if he's don't touch him.
It's all right. His skin's warm, but there's no respiration. It
seems to be frozen in place.Well, let's move on. Let's say
that again. This is giving methe creeps. We'll recon the surrounding area.
(11:13):
There may be others. Oh,now, this is what I call
(11:37):
a lake, that's what anyone wouldcall it. Pete easy, easy,
be sure the bridge will hold.Feels solid to me. We got to
take off these flight suits and jumpin. No thanks, why not?
Well, go on say it,you can't swim, can you not?
As such? The big scientist.Wait a minute, maybe we can find
(12:01):
some water wings for you. It'sgonna move on. We have a lot
of ground to cover back home.We had a swimming hole man on a
hot day, I thought I wasin heaven. We'd go skinny dipping right
in all that pollution. Nah.Before the government closed the rivers, they
were even fishing it. You couldeven see him jumping in the air.
Do you ever go fishing, Captain. As a matter of fact, I
(12:24):
did in the mountains the runoff andthe snow was clean. There. You
can eat the fish if you wantedto and not get sick. I don't
see any fish in this water.We better keep moving. We don't know
when the suns go down. Weshould be back of the ship before dark,
just to be safe. Good point. Maybe they don't have fish here.
That's a possibility if the planet's evolutiontook a different turn. Hey,
(12:46):
there's somebody. I don't see anythingon the opposite bank, clad shirt.
See him sitting there with a fishingpole and mister hey, mister Kirby's right
folding chair, wicker basket. Thewhole setup looks like the guy's got it
made. Let's hope this one talksto strangers. My dear, fella,
(13:11):
how's it going fish biting today?Mom's the word? Huh? Let me
try it. I'm sorry to botheryou, sir, but you might say
we're lost if you could give usdirections to the nearest town. Don't waste
your breath. This one's a stifftoo. Maybe he's asleep. If he
is, he's done well for himself. This basket is called a creole.
(13:35):
It's full a fish, quite ahole fresh, it smells like it.
Hold on, is that a bottleof beer next to him? It is?
Indeed, only it's empty. Well, where's he got the cold one
stashed? Fella? Can you hearus? Do you even know we're here?
Can't see his face looped up thebrim of his hat? Okay,
(13:58):
here go. Sorry, nothing personal. I just like to look a man
in the eye when I talk tohim, even if he doesn't talk back.
What did you do? Nothing?Just barely touched him and he fell
over. Well, at least weknow he's not a statue, no pulse
like the farmer, but his skinfeels real. Sen him up again,
(14:22):
exactly the way we found him.I get it. Get what he's off
the clock? Way off? What'sthat supposed to me? Pete and I
used to joke about it in flightschool. There are twenty four hours in
a day, but sometimes that's notenough. You're not kidding. All my
life, I've wanted extra time tomeet a book, write a novel,
(14:46):
or go fishing, spend some timein the country, meet a girl and
get married, or just take anap for crying out loud. But I
was too busy. We all were. So the only answer is to fit
some extra hours into the day.Hours that don't show up on the clock,
that don't count. I don't see. Look got it like this?
What if you could stop time fora few minutes or a few hours at
(15:09):
least as far as everybody else isconcerned. Think of what you could do.
They stand there frozen while you runoff and do whatever it is you
need to do. Then when you'refinished, you run back and time starts
again. They move and walk andtalk and go on with what they were
saying, and they never so muchas know you were gone. Is that
a plan or what? I wish? We could have done something like that
(15:31):
on the ship. If I hadhad time for pure uninterrupted thought, and
I might have, oh, Idon't know, perfected Sheldrake's theory of causative
formation while the ship ran itself.That's right, and get home to find
you've won your own no bell rightnow, we make a planet fall and
we run into these people, ifthat's what they are, and it's as
(15:52):
if we've finally done exactly that.Taking ourselves off the clock, at least
temporarily permanently would be fine by me. Nice theory, Captain. I'm afraid
there are reasons, though, whyit wouldn't work. I am sure there
are is just a thought. IfI were a science fiction writer, I
could have some fun with it.But we've got more important things to do,
(16:15):
like finding out what options we havenow that we're here. Say I'm
hearing things. I hear it too. Seems to be coming from the top
of the ridge, beyond that groveof trees that must be where the town
is. We were close after all. Sounds like you got your brass band
(16:36):
people. I like it. Maybethey got a ticker tape parade too.
One way to find out, Captain'sjournal. You appear to be on the
(17:00):
main street of a Midwestern American town. Ahead of us is the square,
complete steeple clock and ivy covered walls. Captain, did you notice what's that?
There are no hands on the clock, duly noted. The music's louder.
(17:22):
I hope this re quorter can pickit up. Sounds like a Suso
march. There's a bandstand, flagsbunting, and a sign that says inauguration
ceremony, Welcome Mayor Finch. Musiciansare all in uniform. Just one thing.
They're not really playing. Kirby's right, nobody's moving, not even Mayor
(17:45):
Finch. It's holding a silk hatof photographers in front of the crowd,
about to take his picture, butnothing's happening. It's like a like a
movie set with a hundred extras allwaiting for someone to yell action. The
question is who's directing. I'm goingto look around were we're out. The
(18:06):
music's coming from that loud speaker nearthe platform. It's being piped in from
somewhere pre recorded. No doubt concert'sover. Wonder who turned it off?
Any ideas, Professor Well, Isuppose it could all be part of a
carefully orchestrated delusion. That's as goodan explanation as any. Now, maybe
(18:30):
we're being made to see and hearwhat we hoped we'd find here, the
sights and sound of home. Butthey ain't got it wrong. It's three
hundred years before our time. Who'sthey or it could be that time itself
is somehow suspended in this place,so we really are off the clock.
It's all relative. Time may havein a sense speed it up for us
(18:52):
or slowed down for them. Youmean they might actually be moving. It's
possible. Why can't we see it? You can't see them movement of a
clock's hands. Nevertheless, they move, Yeah, when there are hands.
Do you believe what you're saying?Of course not. Hey, everybody,
sir, ma'am, what's the matterwith you people? Are we invisible or
(19:14):
something? Don't think it personally.By the looks of them, they don't
see anything. They might as wellbe statues, but they're not statues.
Here feel one, you, sir, shake hands with the captain. See
what I mean? They feel likeflesh and blood. Yeah, Kirby's right,
more of the same. Whoever orwhatever is responsible, they've created a
(19:36):
perfect imitation of the real thing allover this asteroid. For what purpose now,
I don't have a clue. Theexpenditure of time and effort is considerable,
not to mention the science involved.The skin on these pseudo people must
be a new polymer compound, andthe clothing all duplications of earth fabrics.
(20:00):
I wonder man, never mind sayit. Well, we must not be
the first to land here. Butthis asteroid's not on the charts. Then
who were they modeled after? Maybesomebody, somebody real is still here?
Where could be anywhere? The streets, the buildings. I say we separate,
(20:22):
we'll meet back here in an hour. Well it's better than huddling together
like frightened children. Right, Pete, you go that way, Carl,
see where the street leads, andtake some readings while you're at all.
Right, I'll cover the buildings alongthis side, starting with the hotel.
Remember one hour? Are you watching? Set? Yeah? Yes, don't
ask me what to set it too, though, Earth time or something else
entirely Captain's notes. The Auning saysthe hotel is called the ritz Arms kind
(21:17):
of point it would be considered ritzy. I guess in small town glass front,
nothing moving inside that I can seeI should have about the US can
record this. There's a clerk behindthe desk, not moving, of course,
(21:41):
and all this is classic. There'san alcove off to one side.
I can see four men seated arounda table of green lampshade money. I
think they're playing poker, or theywere before they stopped moving. There's a
waitress with a tray full of ks. The big winner seems to be a
little man with a gray mustache,not your typical gambler, but he's all
(22:04):
set to regular chips. He looksmighty happy. Hey you fellow. I
wonder what cars he's got here.I don't think of mind if I take
a peek. Four big beautiful aces. Nice work. Hold on, hold
(22:25):
on, if I'm not mistaken.That's a waltz coming from upstairs. Music
seems to be in one of therooms. Hello, Hello, anybody here
(22:56):
car? Oh sorry, excuse me. This room is is definitely occupied.
There's a candle on the table.I see I s bucket in the bottle
of champagne. The music is canned. A couple is posed in a slow
dance. She has a rose inher teeth, and he's got her bent
(23:19):
back in a dip, kissing herthroat. And what is she doing with
him? A short, ugly manlooks like he's never had a girl feet
in his life, but she's uglybeauty. I don't know what's going on
to you, but I'm beginning tosee a pattern. The theme seems to
(23:40):
be dreams really can come true.But who's dreams? Who's fulfilling them?
For what purpose? Where we're atfind anything? Nope, at least nothing
(24:11):
that moves Pete, Not really exceptfor what you guys better see this for
yourselves. Come with me. Whereis it? Just around the corner.
You're not gonna believe this, butI think it's what they called a carnival.
(24:34):
That's what it is, all right. The midway those booths along either
side. People could win various trinketsof low value by throwing baseballs at steel
milk bottles or firing toy rifles attargets. I was wondering a test of
skill or amusement. Also the urgeto gamble for those with a predilection for
obsessive compulsive behavior. What's in thetent? Oh? Just some men in
(24:57):
swimming trunks. When five hundred dollarsgo two rounds with tiger loomis it's not
a real tiger, No kidding,genius. Let's have a look inside.
That must be tiger if there's stripeson his trunks. Yeah. One lying
(25:21):
down in the ring. Some crowd. Huh, Almost as many as the
town hall, complete with sound effects. Two pugilists duking it out, as
they say, a primitive display oftestosterone poisoning. Check out the other guy
with his hand raised. That,my friends, is what's known as a
potbelly. Yes, but why toomany carbohydrates, not enough exercise, plus
(25:42):
a certain genetic predisposition. But whywould he be the one who wins?
It must have been a lucky punch. Looks like old tigers down for the
count. Interesting and I think it'screepy. All these imitation people posed every
(26:06):
which way. What do we haveover there? I believe it's called a
sideshow. Scantily clad young ladies whodance for the crowd, which is primarily
male. That's nothing. Check outthe stage at the end. See I
was saving the best for last.Get an eyeful of this. There's a
little contest signed beauty queen chosen today. Step right up, gents. You
(26:33):
got your blonde, your brunettes,your redhead, your tall ones, your
short, stubby ones. Take yourpick, I'd say the judges have already
made their selection. Cast your eyeson Miss Lakewood County some bathing suitam it
was called a bikini after the locationof the first Adambaum test. Of course,
if you like I'm a little morecurvy, there's always Miss Midvale,
(26:55):
a little on the hefty side.For me personally, I like Miss Vernon
County and the strapless white two piece, and they all lost. Kind of
breaks your heart, don't it.The one they've chosen with the ribbon and
the crown. Miss Wanda Bertolini fromStockton, California a little long in the
tooth, isn't she thirty nine?If she's a day freckles, frizzy hair,
(27:15):
the whole bit, And yet she'swon against all those beauties great no
accounting for taste. Perhaps the competitionwas rigged. Yes, yes, yes,
yes yes, But why, yourmajesty, my compliments to the judges.
I don't blame them. They thinkyou're the prettiest one of all where
with pride. But tell me something, your majesty, what's wrong with you?
(27:38):
I mean, you can't even movea muscle like everybody else in this
crazy asteroid. Answer me, goon, what's the matter? Cat got
your tongue? Answer me easy,Pete, Ah, you can have it.
Everything about this place is nuts.Where are you going? Wait,
(28:08):
Pete, don't let it get toyou. None of us knows what's going
on. But until we figure itout, I'm sorry, all right,
but you know how long we've beenon that ship. You know, we
set down and what do we find. We all feel the same way,
sure we do, but it's likesomebody's trying to trick us into something,
or drive us baddy, something thatdoesn't even think like us, but it's
(28:29):
got our number. Oh yeah,let me tell you. You've got to
pull yourself together. I'm pulling allright. But if we've just had some
idea, some clue about what thedeal is here in this crummy place,
how are you fixed for ideas?Carl? I don't really have a theory
yet. Of course, it's highlyimprobable, but so is the fact that
we're here. Come up. Anytheory is better than none. Well,
(28:53):
I've begun to think that all ofthis it just might be some sort of
museum. Come again, Professor,We're millions of miles from Earth. It's
possible that The inhabitants of this planet, whoever they are or were, developed
a very advanced technology. Let's saythey had a super powerful scanning device based
on some new principle. Over theyears, they observed Earth and decided to
(29:17):
build replicas of what they observed.Perhaps they even took specimens to use as
models that would explain the accounts ofalien abductions. If that's true, where
are these inhabitants now gone? Perhapshaving moved on and left all this behind.
It could be in hiding. Thenwe better explore the rest of it,
(29:37):
or as much as we can inone day. At least they had
taste. Take the residential street we'reon now, it's right out of the
late nineteenth century old growth trees,Victorian houses. Why this era, why
any of it? It must haveinterested them. What practical purpose I can't
(30:00):
imagine now, Maybe just to pleasethemselves. This is the way it was
on Earth a few centuries ago.I've seen pictures, the streets, the
houses and everything lean out so peacefully. You guys like it here. I
would if I knew it was real, if I could be sure it wasn't
all going to vanish in a puffof pink smoke. It's an okay place
(30:22):
to visit, but I wouldn't wantto live here. Well, you better
get used to it. This isgoing to be home for a while.
Charming. Which one the largest housethere across the street. That one's a
mansion, isn't it? Lovely?Think of the freedom, the space to
move about? You want it?It's yours? Yes, that's true,
isn't it? Why not? Idon't think anyone will mind, least of
(30:47):
all the old fell in the chairon the porch, another stiff. It's
actually quite realistic the way they've gotthem sitting there reading the paper. What's
the date on the front page?Hey, they're old time. You don't
care if we look around? Doyou check out the inside? Not at
(31:07):
all? Gentlemen, you are mostwelcome, jeez, Louise, he talks
(31:30):
forgive us, sir. You alllook as though you've seen a ghost.
We assumed that you were like theothers. Oh no, no, no,
no no, I'm Captain Weber.The name is Wickwire, Jeremy Wickwire.
Ah our pleasure, Peter Kirby,my navigator. Hi, Karl Myers,
how do you do? I can'tbelieve you're real? Isn't everybody we
(31:56):
used to think, so not aroundhere. Oh, the others are nothing
to be afraid of, really they'renot. We have so many questions.
I don't know where to start.We can talk inside some tea perhaps,
please, gentlemen, won't you comein one lump or two? Oh,
(32:27):
don't go to any trouble. It'sbetter than what we're used to. Believe
me, I don't know bout you, Captain, but I must have my
tea this time of day. Iwouldn't feel complete without it. Oh,
it tastes great, nice and hot. Beats the heck out of that tang.
I'll say. Remarkable collection of artifactsyou have here, artifacts, the
(32:53):
Oriental rugs, the tapestries, allthis furniture. I've never seen anything to
compare. It provides a certain levelof comfort. Must have cost you a
fortune, Oh not me personally.We had it built for a mister.
Let me see jen Jenkins, Jenkinson, I believe it was. You mean
(33:15):
the pieces aren't antiques, Oh heavensno, they were made to the client's
specifications. At the last moment,however, he changed his mind, decided
he really wanted to be a Knightin Shining Armor. So now he's over
in the medieval section slaying a dragon. Then there's more that we haven't seen,
(33:39):
dear me. Yes, we havemany sections Rome, Egypt, the
Wild West, but the one we'rein right now is very popular. It
represents a period when creature comforts weremost abundant, before peace in the world
became impossible. By the world,you mean Earth, mister wick Chore,
(34:10):
I don't know where to begin.You see, we are from Earth.
Yes, of course. We wereon a routine geological flight in search of
ore to be mined. We raninto a meteor storm and well knocked out
some of our equipment and put usoff course. That was six months ago.
(34:32):
Really that long? It feels alot longer, believe me. Please
go on. We saw this asteroidand landed as well as we could.
There's no more fuel. We're goingto have to stay here until we can
repair the communications module and signal forhelp. They'll think our ship was destroyed
(34:52):
without an SOS beacon. I see, I see. Then you're not from
the Glades. What I've been expectingthem. I'm due for a delivery from
Earth. May I ask a questionabout the Earth? Did they any chance
have that atomic war? Not assuch? A cluster of smaller wars.
(35:15):
Almost simultaneously, most of the Earth'sservice was destroyed. We're still picking up
the pieces. Oh, dear me, that is bad news or dei gentlemen,
mister Wickwire, explain some things tous before we go out of our
minds. Ab certainly, but youdo look hungry and you can say that
(35:39):
again. Let me fix us alight lunch first, then we'll talk.
No, no, no, misterwick explain some things to us before we
go out of our minds. Ifyou like, where are we Why you're
in a memorial park A memorial morecommonly known as a cemetery. Didn't you
(36:02):
know please make yourselves at home.I'll be back in no time. Did
he say cemetery? What? Atleast we know more than we did.
You act like nothing's happened, Nothinghas happened, Yeah, just give it
time. What would you suggest wedo? I'd suggest that you settle down,
(36:24):
fellas getting upset is going to helphelp who There isn't anybody to help
us. That old man's off hisrocker. This place is some kind of
looney bitch. Shut up and sitdown. Yeah, I tell you I
don't like it. We're sitting aroundhaving tea, and we don't even know
where we are. It doesn't makeany difference where we are. This is
where we're going to stay until wecan set a distress signal, unless he
(36:46):
happens to have some rocket fuel anda tail fin assembly lying around. So
for now, all we can dois make the best of it. Yeah,
we don't have to like it.Do we be patient? Everything will
be explained. I'm sure trust thatguy. A little more trust might have
saved our world. Pete, Isay something about him is screwing? What's
(37:06):
he so happy and well adjusted about? Well? Look at the way he
lives. He's got everything he wants, even if it is a reproduction.
Quiet, here he comes. I'vebrought some sandwiches and a bottle of wine.
I trust will make quick work ofit. You can say that again.
I haven't had a drinking I don'tknow how long, and after that
(37:30):
coffee it's brewing now. Meanwhile,a glass for each of us, do
you mind if I pour very kindof you, mister waguire, May I
propose a toast please to peace,my friends, eternal, everlasting peace.
(37:50):
I'll drink to that. We allwill excellent wine glad you like it.
This is a special occasion. Ithought it was worth opening a bottle leave
from milch, isn't it? Yes? Indeed, mister wick Wire was still
a bit confused. You said wewere in a cemetery. What did you
(38:14):
mean mean? Yeah? Why wouldthere be a cemetery here? Perhaps you
could elaborate, certainly, But beforeI explained the details, you must give
me some information if you like.If your dearest wish could be granted,
what would it be? I'm notsure I understand. What would you like
(38:37):
to be doing? Most? Wherewould you choose to be? Right now?
Hat's easy. Back on the shipheaded for home, and you captain.
I'll go along with that, sowill I splendid? Oh? One
other thing? When you left Earth? What was the date? September?
(38:57):
No? No, no, no? The year twenty two eighty? Really
twenty to eighty. When you arrived, I thought you were the men from
Happy Glades, But you couldn't be. We're still not following you. What's
Happy Glades? The world's greatest mortuary? At least it used to be.
(39:19):
The management hit upon this scheme asa service to the few who could afford
it, the scheme being why thislittle asteroid. Moriarity bought it and paid
well to keep it off the mapsfor what reason? Simple really, you
see, the plan was to recreateconditions in which the dearly departed would be
(39:40):
most happy, a favorite setting,a desired event. For example, if
one had always wanted to be electedmayor, he'd achieve his ambition here for
all eternity. So those people outside, they're all oh, not all of
them, just the select feel Therest are imitations simul hacro. We call
(40:06):
them for effect. In other words, this is the place where your dreams
come true after you've stopped dreaming.Yes, that might be a way of
putting it. Very good, Buta cemetery in the middle of space,
your boss, moriorty, he couldhave bought a piece of property anywhere in
the desert, sayd away from everything. Oh no, you don't understand at
(40:30):
all, Happy glades promises, eternalpiece, everlasting piece. You couldn't have
that on earth, now, couldyou, especially with the wars you've described.
He has a point. Let's finishthe wine, shall we. It
doesn't keep well once it's opened.Thank you, cheers. Would you like
(40:55):
some music? What kind somewhat limitedrepertoire. But there are all kinds of
pieces for the player piano. Popularclassical. Classical might be nice. Ah,
yes, something soothing to fit themood. Mozart or Brams a good
(41:20):
choice, I thought. So drinkup, gentlemen before I bring the coffee,
unless you'd like something more to eat. I have some teacakes in the
kitchen. What about you me?Yes, how do you fit in?
Why? I'm the caretaker. It'smy job to make sure that our guests
(41:40):
are not disturbed. This mortuary orwhatever it is. When was it built?
Let me see? The year wastwenty one seventy seven. I believe
it's almost one hundred years ago.That makes you a little on the elderly
side, doesn't it. Mister Wickwire. You forced me to an embarrassing admission.
(42:01):
You see, I'm not actually human. When you're gone, I'll go
back to sleep, as it were, until i'm needed again. I go
on and off like a machine,you understand, now, Sure nothing complicated
about that? He goes on andoff. I've apparently been turned off for
(42:23):
several decades. One thing, misterWickwire, We're not going anywhere. We
can't. We're staying here at leastfor the time being. Yes, I
know you said something about when we'regone a figure of speech, Captain,
I meant departed, gone on asit were, Jim, you know what
(42:47):
he's saying. It's a matter.Carl. You're pale and you're perspiring.
What in the something wrong with thewine? The old man he didn't drink
any of his? Why why didn'tyou re wi? I told you not
(43:09):
to trust him. I told you, Oh, he's poisoned us. We
met you no harm. I realizedthat, and I'm sorry, truly I
am. Give us the ndidote,Give us the aide. There is no
(43:34):
antidote, Captain. Even now,the eternifying fluid is coursing through your veins.
It won't be painful, I assureyou. Oh you've got to stop
it. Oh, my dear friends, can't you understand I have no control
(43:55):
in these matters. I'm only amachine. But why why us? Because
you're here and your men, andwhile there are men, there can be
no peace. Surely you've seen ampleevidence of that on earth. What are
(44:15):
you going to do with us?There are several possibilities, but as you
said, your preference is to beon your ship, so be it.
I'll move you there and arrange youin your natural habitat, and every day
for a while I'll come by andcheck on the display your poses, the
(44:39):
instruments, and other details, andi'll touch them up if me be,
with a feather duster, so thatthe scene is absolutely perfect, before I
retire to this house and turn myselfoff until the next ship arrives. I
trust it will be a dream cometrue for you. You it will,
(45:04):
won't it for the love of God. With wire the love of God.
You'll excuse me now, but Imust make ready, and gentlemen, I
do most sincerely wish that you restin peace. Captain, goodbye. Captain
(45:31):
easy easy, easy call, easycar, don't find it. They'll only
walk fast. Bill, I'm scared. Try not to be people. I'll
with you. Backed ship were alleternity m seal, All the captain,
(46:22):
Webber, his navigator, Kirby,and Meyer the geologist. On their last
voyage and now at their journey's end, all agreed what they wanted most was
to be aboard their ship, wheredyto head home. Now they will have
that wish forever. Unfortunately, it'sa wish that can only come true in
(46:44):
a twilight Zone. The Twilight Zonecontinues. In just a moment, you
are about to enter another dimension,a dimension not only of sight and sound,
but of mind, a journey intoa wondrous land of imagination. Next
stop the Twilight Zone. Hi,this is Stacy Keach. I'd like to
(47:06):
take a moment to tell you aboutour Twilight Zone website at twilight Zone Radio
dot com. At twilight Zone Radiodot com, you'll find the latest information
on these Twilight Zone radio dramas,including behind the scenes photographs, plus the
newest product releases, trivia contests,ways to contact us, other Twilight Zone
related info and merchandise, plus linksto other fascinating websites. So make your
(47:30):
next stop twilight Zone Radio dot com. Visit twilight Zone Radio dot com to
purchase these twilight Zone radio dramas oncassette and CD, or call toll free
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