July 29, 2025 • 13 mins
In this episode, Susan Moore opens up about what it feels like to stay silent—not because you want to, but because fear, self-doubt, and past hurt keep your voice stuck. She shares personal stories of hitting record and deleting over and over, of second-guessing every word, and what finally helped her speak up.
This is for anyone who’s written 100 drafts and never hit post.
For anyone whose hands shake just opening the camera app.
For anyone who feels like their voice is “too much” or “not enough.”
You don’t have to be loud to be heard. You just have to be real.
🎧 Listen in and take one small, brave step toward unmuting your voice.
This is for anyone who’s written 100 drafts and never hit post.
For anyone whose hands shake just opening the camera app.
For anyone who feels like their voice is “too much” or “not enough.”
You don’t have to be loud to be heard. You just have to be real.
🎧 Listen in and take one small, brave step toward unmuting your voice.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the Uncomfortable Talk Show, where we lean
into the discomfort to find our truth. I'm your host,
Susan Moore. Today we're talking about it feeling. Most of
us know intimately that moment you should speak up but
you just can't. It's the moment before the storm, not
of chaos, but of internal struggle, the moment you clam up.
(00:23):
You know the feeling, right, It happens everywhere. Maybe it's
in a meeting and you have a brilliant idea but
the words get stuck Wor at home you need to
set a boundary with a loved one but your thoat
gets that tightening feeling into it. Or perhaps you need
to defend yourself or even ask for something you truly need,
(00:44):
and a wave of paralysis washes over you. What does
that feel like for you? For me, it's a sudden
clench of my stomach, a brush of heat to my face,
or a sudden profound emptiness in my head where words
should be. I've even had like a tightening in my
throat feeling and that burning sensation. It's like a circuit breaker, tripping,
(01:08):
shutting down my voice just when I needed the most.
And then what happens, the moment passes, the opportunity slips away,
and what's left is often a swirling mix of frustration, shame,
and a heavy dose of regret. You replay it in
your mind, kicking yourself, why didn't I just say something?
(01:29):
I know this feeling deeply and in a very personal way.
It's been starkly highlighted for me recently. And if you
didn't listen to the last episode, I'll just catch you
up real quick that you know, you might have noticed
that I've been quieter than usual on here and in
my life really from last October until very recently. For months,
(01:54):
I was dealing with severe dental infections, the pain, that discomfort,
the constantinal work. It consumed everything of my energy. And
during that time, something profound happened. Because I couldn't speak much,
because every word was a physical effort. It made me
acutely aware of all the other times in my life
(02:15):
I've chosen silence on purpose, not because of a physical illment,
but because of fear, self doubt, or the desire to
just keep the peace and just roll with the punches.
But I was letting. I was making it to where
that I wasn't even being able to speak up for
(02:38):
myself or even stood up to anybody. And that's not
a good place to be for that many years, for
that many decades, really, and those months of physical silence
became a kind of mirror. They showed me every instance
where I'd bitten my tongue, held back my truth, or
(03:00):
simply faded into the background when my voice was desperately needed.
I mean, I was very shah for the majority of
my life. I'd say about eighty five percent of it.
There was only very few times I would actually stick
it for myself, and that regret it hit me harder
than any toothache. And toothaches are not nothing, are not
(03:23):
anything to play with. I mean, they are no joke.
I've felt many pains in my life, but that toothache
was the worst. And it was an uncomfortable, painful awakening
to how much I'd let my life, how much I've
lived my life with my voice so mute and not
saying what I really thought. After forty three years, I've
(03:47):
learned one very uncomfortable truth, and it's that I'm not
alone in this, and neither of you. You know that
clench that frees that rush of shame versaal human experience.
It's our nervous system trying to protect us, often in
ways that no longer serve us. So how do we
(04:08):
begin to change this? The first step isn't to suddenly
become a roaring line. It's simply to notice the clinch.
The next time you feel that familiar tightening, that internal freeze,
just acknowledge it for what it is. Ah there, it
is the climate moment. Don't judge it, just observe it.
(04:30):
This simple act of awareness creates a tiny crack in
that automatic reaction that you're having. Once you notice it,
you can take a tiny, uncomfortable step towards reclaiming your voice. First,
breathe before reacting or not reacting, Take one deep, intentional breath.
This can interrupt the panic response. One word. Can you utter,
(04:54):
just one word, even if it's just weight or hm
or okay, it's just it's a small assertion of your presence.
You can even try writing a written note if speaking
impossible in that moment. In this moment, can you jot
down your thought question boundary on a piece of paper
(05:15):
or in a quick text to share later. Sometimes the
physical act of writing can unlock the verbal And I
know this very well because you know, like a lot
of you, I do write quite a bit of poems
and other things. The I need moment give yourself permission
(05:38):
to differ. That's a lot to process. I need a
moment to think about it is a perfectly valid response
that bazs you tom and prevents immediate regret. And none
of these are about becoming perfectly articulate overnight. They're about
creating micro moments of agency where there was once only
(05:58):
an automatic silence. Each tiny step is an act of courage.
Your voice is your power, and for too long many
of us have handed that power over to fear of discomfort,
of judgment, of just not knowing what to say. But
the uncomfortable truth is, every time we choose silence when
we should speak, we pay a price. See. The other
(06:22):
thing that I want to talk to you about is
I want to kind of dive in a little bit
deeper about the price of silence and how how hard
that really can be on your soul. You know, because
the price we pay for choosing silence over speaking truth
(06:45):
isn't just a fleeting felling of regret. It's a compounding
interest on unexpressed thoughts, unasked questions, and the unheard needs.
You know, it's the first, the herod sense of self.
Every time we silence our voice, we chip away at
(07:05):
our genuine self. We reinforce the belief that our thoughts, feelings,
and needs aren't important enough to be shared. And over
time this can lead to a feeling of invisibility, as
if our very essence is fading. We start to doubt
our own perceptions and judgments, making it harder to making
(07:26):
it even harder to speak up in the future. Then
there's the resentment that brews beneath the surface. When we
don't set boundaries, ask for help, or express discomfort, we
often end up feeling taking advantage of, overwhelmed, or even misunderstood,
and sometimes all three. This isn't just about how others
(07:48):
treat us. It's also the anger and the frustration that
festers internally, and this hidden resentment can poison our relationships,
making us irritable or or withdrawn. Even the other person
has no idea why, it's a solid protest that harms
us more than anyone else. Consider the missed opportunities and
(08:10):
stagnant growth. Every idea left unseid in a meeting. Every
boundary left unset in a relationship, every personal truth left unexpressed,
represents a lost chance. These moments could have led to
new projects, healthier dynamics, or deeper connections. Silence keeps us stuck.
(08:31):
It prevents us from advocating for our growth, learning from
new perspectives, or evolving beyond our current circumstances. It's a
self imposed limitation that stops us from reaching our full potential.
And finally, and perhaps the most painful, is there's a
loneliness of being truly unheard. Even when surrounded by people.
(08:56):
The inability to express our our real self leaves us
feeling isolated. It's a profound form of loneliness when no
one truly knows who we are because we've never dared
to show them. This lack of genuine connection can lead
to a deep sense of alienation, even in our closest relationships.
(09:20):
Your voice is your power, and when you hold it back,
you're not just holding back your words. You're holding back
your power, your potential, and your capacity for true connection.
The discomfort of speaking up is temporary, but the price
of silence can be a lifetime of regret. But it
doesn't have to be that way. The price of silence
(09:44):
is indeed steep that eroded sense of self, the resented
ruin beneath the surface, the missed opportunities, and the stagnant growth,
and the profound loneliness of being truly unheard. These are
heavy burdens to carry, and they can feel incredibly isolating.
But here's the crucial liberating truth. You have the power
(10:05):
to change this narrative at any time. You won't. Your
past choice is to remain silent. Do not have to
dictate your future or anyone else. I mean, it doesn't
have to be that way. Just because you've paid the
price of silence doesn't mean you're condemned to continue paying it.
Transformation isn't about or raise in your history, but about
(10:27):
rewriting your relationship with it. It's about recognizing that discomfort
is that the discomfort is speaking your truth. And I
don't mean that you know goue kind of way. Just
speak the truth of who what you feel. And even
when your voice shakes, its temporary. The regret of perpetual silence, however,
(10:51):
can last a lifetime. I know this for a fact,
and you can learn to identify that claim moment to
understand the old fears that trigger it, and to take tiny,
uncomfortable steps towards reclaiming your voice. Each step, no matter
(11:11):
how small, begins to chip it away at those old
patterns and build new pathways of courage and authenticity. It
doesn't have to be this way, I promise, because you
are not powerless. Your voice exists and it matters, and
it's waiting to be set free. So remember, please remember,
(11:35):
your voice is your power, and for too long many
of us have handed that power over to the fear
of discomfort, of judgment, of just not knowing what to say.
But the uncomfortable truth is every time we choose silence
when we should speak, we pay a price, which I'll
just explained to you. And this week I'm going to reenterate.
(12:00):
You know, try to notice those clim up moments that
you're having and you will see or effect. You will
see it when you start confronting it. And I do
wish the best for all of you, and I really
thank you for listening to this episode of The Uncomfortable
Talk Show. If you want to know more about what
(12:23):
I've struggled with for the better part of this year,
go listen to the previous episode on Spreaker or Spotify,
and I am still working on the One Woman Show,
so I do know for a fact that it's on
Spotify and it's on Spreaker, so you can listen to
(12:46):
it on either one of those. But this has been
Susan Moore with the Uncomfortable Talk show and I hope
this has helped you. And you can find me on
Instagram and Twitter is where I out mostly at the
Susan Moore. I'm trying to keep it all congruent so
(13:07):
you can find me anywhere. So got that going for me,
and I appreciate you so much. Peace ol, everybody. Bye,
Welcome back to the Uncomfortable Talk Show, where we lean
into the discomfort to find our truth. I'm your host,
Susan Moore. Today we're talking about it feeling. Most of
us know intimately that moment you should speak up but
you just can't. It's the moment before the storm, not
of chaos, but of internal struggle, the moment you clam up.
(00:23):
You know the feeling, right, It happens everywhere. Maybe it's
in a meeting and you have a brilliant idea but
the words get stuck Wor at home you need to
set a boundary with a loved one but your thoat
gets that tightening feeling into it. Or perhaps you need
to defend yourself or even ask for something you truly need,
(00:44):
and a wave of paralysis washes over you. What does
that feel like for you? For me, it's a sudden
clench of my stomach, a brush of heat to my face,
or a sudden profound emptiness in my head where words
should be. I've even had like a tightening in my
throat feeling and that burning sensation. It's like a circuit breaker, tripping,
(01:08):
shutting down my voice just when I needed the most.
And then what happens, the moment passes, the opportunity slips away,
and what's left is often a swirling mix of frustration, shame,
and a heavy dose of regret. You replay it in
your mind, kicking yourself, why didn't I just say something?
(01:29):
I know this feeling deeply and in a very personal way.
It's been starkly highlighted for me recently. And if you
didn't listen to the last episode, I'll just catch you
up real quick that you know, you might have noticed
that I've been quieter than usual on here and in
my life really from last October until very recently. For months,
(01:54):
I was dealing with severe dental infections, the pain, that discomfort,
the constantinal work. It consumed everything of my energy. And
during that time, something profound happened. Because I couldn't speak much,
because every word was a physical effort. It made me
acutely aware of all the other times in my life
(02:15):
I've chosen silence on purpose, not because of a physical illment,
but because of fear, self doubt, or the desire to
just keep the peace and just roll with the punches.
But I was letting. I was making it to where
that I wasn't even being able to speak up for
(02:38):
myself or even stood up to anybody. And that's not
a good place to be for that many years, for
that many decades, really, and those months of physical silence
became a kind of mirror. They showed me every instance
where I'd bitten my tongue, held back my truth, or
(03:00):
simply faded into the background when my voice was desperately needed.
I mean, I was very shah for the majority of
my life. I'd say about eighty five percent of it.
There was only very few times I would actually stick
it for myself, and that regret it hit me harder
than any toothache. And toothaches are not nothing, are not
(03:23):
anything to play with. I mean, they are no joke.
I've felt many pains in my life, but that toothache
was the worst. And it was an uncomfortable, painful awakening
to how much I'd let my life, how much I've
lived my life with my voice so mute and not
saying what I really thought. After forty three years, I've
(03:47):
learned one very uncomfortable truth, and it's that I'm not
alone in this, and neither of you. You know that
clench that frees that rush of shame versaal human experience.
It's our nervous system trying to protect us, often in
ways that no longer serve us. So how do we
(04:08):
begin to change this? The first step isn't to suddenly
become a roaring line. It's simply to notice the clinch.
The next time you feel that familiar tightening, that internal freeze,
just acknowledge it for what it is. Ah there, it
is the climate moment. Don't judge it, just observe it.
(04:30):
This simple act of awareness creates a tiny crack in
that automatic reaction that you're having. Once you notice it,
you can take a tiny, uncomfortable step towards reclaiming your voice. First,
breathe before reacting or not reacting, Take one deep, intentional breath.
This can interrupt the panic response. One word. Can you utter,
(04:54):
just one word, even if it's just weight or hm
or okay, it's just it's a small assertion of your presence.
You can even try writing a written note if speaking
impossible in that moment. In this moment, can you jot
down your thought question boundary on a piece of paper
(05:15):
or in a quick text to share later. Sometimes the
physical act of writing can unlock the verbal And I
know this very well because you know, like a lot
of you, I do write quite a bit of poems
and other things. The I need moment give yourself permission
(05:38):
to differ. That's a lot to process. I need a
moment to think about it is a perfectly valid response
that bazs you tom and prevents immediate regret. And none
of these are about becoming perfectly articulate overnight. They're about
creating micro moments of agency where there was once only
(05:58):
an automatic silence. Each tiny step is an act of courage.
Your voice is your power, and for too long many
of us have handed that power over to fear of discomfort,
of judgment, of just not knowing what to say. But
the uncomfortable truth is, every time we choose silence when
we should speak, we pay a price. See. The other
(06:22):
thing that I want to talk to you about is
I want to kind of dive in a little bit
deeper about the price of silence and how how hard
that really can be on your soul. You know, because
the price we pay for choosing silence over speaking truth
(06:45):
isn't just a fleeting felling of regret. It's a compounding
interest on unexpressed thoughts, unasked questions, and the unheard needs.
You know, it's the first, the herod sense of self.
Every time we silence our voice, we chip away at
(07:05):
our genuine self. We reinforce the belief that our thoughts, feelings,
and needs aren't important enough to be shared. And over
time this can lead to a feeling of invisibility, as
if our very essence is fading. We start to doubt
our own perceptions and judgments, making it harder to making
(07:26):
it even harder to speak up in the future. Then
there's the resentment that brews beneath the surface. When we
don't set boundaries, ask for help, or express discomfort, we
often end up feeling taking advantage of, overwhelmed, or even misunderstood,
and sometimes all three. This isn't just about how others
(07:48):
treat us. It's also the anger and the frustration that
festers internally, and this hidden resentment can poison our relationships,
making us irritable or or withdrawn. Even the other person
has no idea why, it's a solid protest that harms
us more than anyone else. Consider the missed opportunities and
(08:10):
stagnant growth. Every idea left unseid in a meeting. Every
boundary left unset in a relationship, every personal truth left unexpressed,
represents a lost chance. These moments could have led to
new projects, healthier dynamics, or deeper connections. Silence keeps us stuck.
(08:31):
It prevents us from advocating for our growth, learning from
new perspectives, or evolving beyond our current circumstances. It's a
self imposed limitation that stops us from reaching our full potential.
And finally, and perhaps the most painful, is there's a
loneliness of being truly unheard. Even when surrounded by people.
(08:56):
The inability to express our our real self leaves us
feeling isolated. It's a profound form of loneliness when no
one truly knows who we are because we've never dared
to show them. This lack of genuine connection can lead
to a deep sense of alienation, even in our closest relationships.
(09:20):
Your voice is your power, and when you hold it back,
you're not just holding back your words. You're holding back
your power, your potential, and your capacity for true connection.
The discomfort of speaking up is temporary, but the price
of silence can be a lifetime of regret. But it
doesn't have to be that way. The price of silence
(09:44):
is indeed steep that eroded sense of self, the resented
ruin beneath the surface, the missed opportunities, and the stagnant growth,
and the profound loneliness of being truly unheard. These are
heavy burdens to carry, and they can feel incredibly isolating.
But here's the crucial liberating truth. You have the power
(10:05):
to change this narrative at any time. You won't. Your
past choice is to remain silent. Do not have to
dictate your future or anyone else. I mean, it doesn't
have to be that way. Just because you've paid the
price of silence doesn't mean you're condemned to continue paying it.
Transformation isn't about or raise in your history, but about
(10:27):
rewriting your relationship with it. It's about recognizing that discomfort
is that the discomfort is speaking your truth. And I
don't mean that you know goue kind of way. Just
speak the truth of who what you feel. And even
when your voice shakes, its temporary. The regret of perpetual silence, however,
(10:51):
can last a lifetime. I know this for a fact,
and you can learn to identify that claim moment to
understand the old fears that trigger it, and to take tiny,
uncomfortable steps towards reclaiming your voice. Each step, no matter
(11:11):
how small, begins to chip it away at those old
patterns and build new pathways of courage and authenticity. It
doesn't have to be this way, I promise, because you
are not powerless. Your voice exists and it matters, and
it's waiting to be set free. So remember, please remember,
(11:35):
your voice is your power, and for too long many
of us have handed that power over to the fear
of discomfort, of judgment, of just not knowing what to say.
But the uncomfortable truth is every time we choose silence
when we should speak, we pay a price, which I'll
just explained to you. And this week I'm going to reenterate.
(12:00):
You know, try to notice those clim up moments that
you're having and you will see or effect. You will
see it when you start confronting it. And I do
wish the best for all of you, and I really
thank you for listening to this episode of The Uncomfortable
Talk Show. If you want to know more about what
(12:23):
I've struggled with for the better part of this year,
go listen to the previous episode on Spreaker or Spotify,
and I am still working on the One Woman Show,
so I do know for a fact that it's on
Spotify and it's on Spreaker, so you can listen to
(12:46):
it on either one of those. But this has been
Susan Moore with the Uncomfortable Talk show and I hope
this has helped you. And you can find me on
Instagram and Twitter is where I out mostly at the
Susan Moore. I'm trying to keep it all congruent so
(13:07):
you can find me anywhere. So got that going for me,
and I appreciate you so much. Peace ol, everybody. Bye,
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