August 18, 2025 • 17 mins
Dating in 2025 looks very different than it did before. More and more men are saying “I’m done” with the modern dating game. In this video, we reveal the 5 harsh truths about why men are giving up on dating and what it means for the future of relationships.
🔥 Don’t miss this real conversation about dating culture today.
💬 Share your experience — do you agree with these reasons?
🔥 Don’t miss this real conversation about dating culture today.
💬 Share your experience — do you agree with these reasons?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Five reasons men are giving up on dating. It's on Vice,
published August fifth. We often hear about dating horror stories
from women, but plenty of men are experiencing dating woes
as well. Ready Post explored the reasons why many men
are opting out of romance today. Somebody asked, simply, men
(00:37):
who aren't dating, why why are you not so? Number one,
they don't feel healed enough. There's this common misconception that
to date you must be fully healed. While I do
think you should actively work on yourself so you don't
cause harm to others in a dating world, I certainly
(00:59):
just agree that you must be entirely perfect to find love.
If you wait till you're one hundred percent healthy, you'll
be waiting forever. I've accepted. One person said, I've accepted
I'm not healthy and don't expose others to that. Self
awareness is certainly admirable and appreciated. Another person agreed this
(01:20):
is my response as well. I don't want to subject
someone else to my struggles. There are a lot more
reasons too, but recognizing that I'm not emotionally mature enough
to be in a relationship is the primary one. I
have a hard time just being okay, normally a third
person at it, working on anxiety, counseling, etc. I'm hyper sensitive,
(01:42):
so I get overwhelmed easily and absorb others's energy. I
know right now I'm not going to be a good
partner until I feel more balanced. I hate to think
there are groups of people, regardless of gender, who feel
they're too unhealed to deserve life love. You know what
they say, Hurt people hurt people, and perhaps opting out
(02:05):
of dating prevents that cycle from continuing. However, I also
think safe people heal safe people, so maybe there's a
bit of silver lining for those willing to do the
work while dipping their toes into the dating scene when
they feel ready. We've talked about this a little bit before,
about the healing thing. You know, I've said that before,
(02:27):
But now that this person says, if you wait till
you're one hundred percent healthy, you'll be waiting forever, and
that got me to thinking like that that might be true.
I know we like to say the be healed before
you hop out there and start dating, but do you
(02:49):
think some people wait too long? What do you guys think?
Do you think you have to be one hundred percent.
If not one hundred percent, how much right does the
does the situation that you're healing from? Does that matter?
(03:11):
Are there instances where you would accept someone who's not
one hundred percent healed because of a situation they might
have gone through that might have been different than the
average relationship. I don't know. Self awareness is really a
big thing, and I think if a person realizes that
(03:34):
they have some issues and remembers that, I think that
goes a long way to people, you know, overcoming the
you're not healed thing, because I know a lot of
people just say that that person's not healed, and it's
what does that mean? Exactly? Because they're not acting, they're
(03:57):
not receiving, they're not giving what you want them to,
does that mean that they're not healed? No? I mean
a person can be perfectly healed and just not be
the one for you. We have to remember that, Like
sometimes just because a person looks good to you doesn't
mean that they were meant to be compatible with you.
Everything that glitters isn't necessarily gold. They just look nice.
(04:23):
Number two, they find it to be exhausting. Look, dating
is not for the feint of heart. It requires time, energy,
self reflection, and a ton of compromise, which many of
us don't have the resources to give in today's climate.
It's ef in exhausting, one redditor said, especially after forty
(04:43):
Another added that dating seems like an expensive and tiring
way to find out nobody likes me that way? Wow, Wow,
is it exhausting? It can be, But I think my
personal belief is relationships themselves are exhausting. It just takes
(05:15):
a lot of it takes a lot of everything to
make to maintain them. So this was the reason why
I made the video that just asked is monogamy a
natural thing? Or is it a societal thing? And I
wasn't trying to like challenge the norms, but that is
a that is a legitimate question in my mind because
of how much work everyone says that they have to
(05:38):
put into their relationship and how I don't know. It's
just it's so time consuming. People have had such bad
luck in relationships finding relationships, So it's kind of like,
is that supposed to be? Is that what we're supposed
(05:59):
to be at? Just because we're all like human beings
doesn't mean that we're all supposed to be in one
of those situations. Could it be that it works for
some and doesn't work for others? That that would does
that make it not an innate and natural thing? There
are some animals, I think swans. They choose one, you know,
(06:23):
one partner in they're with them forever, right, you know,
it's a weird question, but like, how hard do swans
have to work to maintain that relationship? I don't know.
This is a question number three they have. They have
(06:44):
difficulty trusting after a heartbreak. Many men, many men which
death upon me. Many men feel scorned by past partners
and are unwilling to open their hearts again, and for
valid reason, got cheated on in my twenty year marriage
and divorced. One person wrote then dated a wonderful woman
(07:07):
for about eight months until she said she wasn't ready
to be in a relationship. I'm realizing I'm not ready
to trust anyone with my feelings again. Dating feels like
too much effort, and I did a lot of work
on myself and my mental health, so I'm just enjoying
my own company now. Someone else. Similar situation. My ex
(07:27):
ran off with my best friend after the divorce, changed
her address to his. Our kids are older, late teens,
early twenties. So I truly feel alone in what was
a busy household to now just me. I mean, that
is understandable, and I think you know that happens to
(07:49):
enough people. I don't think. I don't think it gets
talked about from a man's perspective very often. I know,
we as a society are quick to run in all
men cheat, hold up time out because women cheat too.
And we you know, we live in a society where
(08:10):
you know, as soon as a man speaks up about
his mental health or his lack of mental resilience, he's
looked upon as being weak, a beta, not equipped to lead,
just because you know, he had a breakdown somewhere he
wasn't able to just maintain it. They're gonna say, oh,
(08:32):
you got cheated on. You know, what weren't you doing
for her? Why did she Why didn't you make her
feel a certain type of way? So they're always going
to they're always going to bring it back to what
the man did. Right. We can see that in different instances.
I'll bring up the CEO at the Coldplay concert where
everybody was all over him. There was very few people
(08:55):
talking about how she was married to right it's going
to be centered on men. So I can see people
having difficulty with that because, and this is spoken from
a man, there's no support, there's none, there's none. When
you get a divorce, the courts want you to, you know,
(09:17):
give up half of everything, pension, house, cars, accounts, she
gets the you know, the children, and we have to
pay her, pay the kids, and just you figure it
out so that you know that wear is on a person.
I can see why someone doesn't want to jump back
(09:38):
into that. It's always the focus on what women have
to deal with, but we're not focused enough on men
have to deal with stuff too. It's not one or
the other. Both parties are dealing with things. Number four.
They don't know where to look. Even those who want
(09:59):
to date often don't know where to find matches. I'm
ready one, ready to admit it. I don't know where
to start. Truth be told. Same a second respondent. I
have a few hobbies that involve under other people, as
most suggests, but people don't talk to random's random others much,
and I'm not exactly exactly a talkative terry relatable. A
(10:22):
third person said, the apps don't seem to be the
answer either. I think men are often expected to do
all the pursuing, which is understandable giving traditional roles and whatnot.
But that's a lot of pressure to put on them,
especially when many men today are trying hard not to
appear creepy or intimidating. It's like a lose lose for
both sides of the coin. Talked about this. Also, we
(10:48):
have these datings app these dating apps, they're shit. I'm
just gonna say that, right, It's just people on there
wanting to get swiped on. They don't really want anything.
They just they're looking for the Christiano Ronaldo's of the
world to be On dating apps. These these ladies are
(11:09):
and the matching is terrible. The conversation is terrible. Right,
So the dating apps, they're just terrible. Okay, So then
we have person to person. God forbid, I walk up
to someone in my local Walmart and say, Hey, how
you doing. I'm like, the dude said, I'm weird, I'm
(11:31):
why are you talking to me? I'm I'm a threat, right,
I'm creepy, I'm all in, I'm cringe, I'm all of that.
So where where used to be? Right? If I saw you,
I could look at you. We make eye contact. Way
we start body language? Okay, like you see me looking
(11:55):
at you, you see me showing interest? What's going on?
How you how you be? Now, if you're looking at someone,
they're going to probably videotape you put you online and
say that, hey, this guy is staring at me. Again,
we've gone through the meeting people at work, right, you
(12:16):
don't know whether you're you know, Bob the executive or
Bob from accounting. Bob the executive tells you your hair
looks nice. Oh, he's such a great guy. He compliments you.
He's great. Bob from accounting tells you your hair looks nice,
and you go to HR. So we we definitely don't
(12:38):
know where to look. Bringing a friend with a girl
bringing one of her friends doesn't work because they're usually whack.
So my question I think I've talked. I've asked this
question on on stream. Be for like, ladies, y'all want
(13:02):
to be pursued, y'all want to be talk to. Y'all
want to be hollered at? When? When? Because if you
just run to the store and Walmart is sketchy, I mean,
Walmart is one of our biggest stores of Target. Okay,
let's go to target, right, all right, So you run
the target really quick because you need to get you know,
(13:24):
baking pans for a party or something like that. So
you're not sure. You're not dressed up, and you're not formal,
you're not looking what you deem your best. But to me,
you look nice. Okay, you look great? Oh nah, I'm not.
(13:45):
Oh you're trying to talk to me when I'm not
at my best and looking a certain type of way.
I mean, now, okay, Like, what's the problem if I
approach you? It don't matter if you got crust in
your eyes. I approached you. Obviously I can see through
you know whatever it is you got going on, because
we've all run to the store before, and so like,
(14:08):
what's the problem? Okay, switch that you get dressed up.
You'all go up with the girls. You got on your
little little black dress, red dress, whatever. You're looking good.
So now, oh, I'm not in the mood because I'm
with my girls. So my question is when is the
(14:28):
right time and how are men supposed to know it
is the right time? We don't know anymore because everything
has been so deluded saturated and everything I don't know
men do or is considered wrong nowadays, it's crazy number five.
(14:51):
They're looking for a needle in a haystack. Many of
today's daters, regardless of gender, have specific preferences that are
easily accessible. I feel like the kind of person I'm
comfortable with being and want to be and the kind
of person that would be successful in dating probably don't
overlap much, if at all, Nor do I have any
interest in being judged for what I like, what I think,
(15:14):
and who I am. One person wrote, so, if I
fall asked backwards into a relationship one day, I'll gladly
pursue one, but I've got little interest in doing what
it takes to actively pursue one. At this point, another
rhditor agreed, I feel the exact same way. I would
gladly pursue one with the right woman, but my idea
(15:34):
of the right woman is so niche, and I haven't
met anyone in my journey in life yet that I
feel wouldn't judge me. More of the story. It seems
like we're all struggling in the dating world, and every
gender has its own unique challenges and valid reasons for
being hesitant or even resentful. However, being hard on or
(15:56):
blaming each other probably is an helping which is true.
I mean looking for a needle in a haystack. That
could be depends on what you're looking for. You know,
they say looking for the high value man is a needle,
a needle in the haystack. Someone being over six feet
You know, that's you cut off a percentage of men.
(16:19):
Someone you want making one hundred k, you cut off
a percentage of men. What else? See, I don't know
what else does have his own house? I guess that
cuts off a percentage. No children, I guess that cuts
off a percentage. So it's really niche. And then when
(16:41):
you find those, you just you don't like his attitude
because he's not he's not generous enough for you. So,
I mean, I don't know. So what do y'all think
about that? What y'all think about the five reasons why
men are not dating
Five reasons men are giving up on dating. It's on Vice,
published August fifth. We often hear about dating horror stories
from women, but plenty of men are experiencing dating woes
as well. Ready Post explored the reasons why many men
are opting out of romance today. Somebody asked, simply, men
(00:37):
who aren't dating, why why are you not so? Number one,
they don't feel healed enough. There's this common misconception that
to date you must be fully healed. While I do
think you should actively work on yourself so you don't
cause harm to others in a dating world, I certainly
(00:59):
just agree that you must be entirely perfect to find love.
If you wait till you're one hundred percent healthy, you'll
be waiting forever. I've accepted. One person said, I've accepted
I'm not healthy and don't expose others to that. Self
awareness is certainly admirable and appreciated. Another person agreed this
(01:20):
is my response as well. I don't want to subject
someone else to my struggles. There are a lot more
reasons too, but recognizing that I'm not emotionally mature enough
to be in a relationship is the primary one. I
have a hard time just being okay, normally a third
person at it, working on anxiety, counseling, etc. I'm hyper sensitive,
(01:42):
so I get overwhelmed easily and absorb others's energy. I
know right now I'm not going to be a good
partner until I feel more balanced. I hate to think
there are groups of people, regardless of gender, who feel
they're too unhealed to deserve life love. You know what
they say, Hurt people hurt people, and perhaps opting out
(02:05):
of dating prevents that cycle from continuing. However, I also
think safe people heal safe people, so maybe there's a
bit of silver lining for those willing to do the
work while dipping their toes into the dating scene when
they feel ready. We've talked about this a little bit before,
about the healing thing. You know, I've said that before,
(02:27):
But now that this person says, if you wait till
you're one hundred percent healthy, you'll be waiting forever, and
that got me to thinking like that that might be true.
I know we like to say the be healed before
you hop out there and start dating, but do you
(02:49):
think some people wait too long? What do you guys think?
Do you think you have to be one hundred percent.
If not one hundred percent, how much right does the
does the situation that you're healing from? Does that matter?
(03:11):
Are there instances where you would accept someone who's not
one hundred percent healed because of a situation they might
have gone through that might have been different than the
average relationship. I don't know. Self awareness is really a
big thing, and I think if a person realizes that
(03:34):
they have some issues and remembers that, I think that
goes a long way to people, you know, overcoming the
you're not healed thing, because I know a lot of
people just say that that person's not healed, and it's
what does that mean? Exactly? Because they're not acting, they're
(03:57):
not receiving, they're not giving what you want them to,
does that mean that they're not healed? No? I mean
a person can be perfectly healed and just not be
the one for you. We have to remember that, Like
sometimes just because a person looks good to you doesn't
mean that they were meant to be compatible with you.
Everything that glitters isn't necessarily gold. They just look nice.
(04:23):
Number two, they find it to be exhausting. Look, dating
is not for the feint of heart. It requires time, energy,
self reflection, and a ton of compromise, which many of
us don't have the resources to give in today's climate.
It's ef in exhausting, one redditor said, especially after forty
(04:43):
Another added that dating seems like an expensive and tiring
way to find out nobody likes me that way? Wow, Wow,
is it exhausting? It can be, But I think my
personal belief is relationships themselves are exhausting. It just takes
(05:15):
a lot of it takes a lot of everything to
make to maintain them. So this was the reason why
I made the video that just asked is monogamy a
natural thing? Or is it a societal thing? And I
wasn't trying to like challenge the norms, but that is
a that is a legitimate question in my mind because
of how much work everyone says that they have to
(05:38):
put into their relationship and how I don't know. It's
just it's so time consuming. People have had such bad
luck in relationships finding relationships, So it's kind of like,
is that supposed to be? Is that what we're supposed
(05:59):
to be at? Just because we're all like human beings
doesn't mean that we're all supposed to be in one
of those situations. Could it be that it works for
some and doesn't work for others? That that would does
that make it not an innate and natural thing? There
are some animals, I think swans. They choose one, you know,
(06:23):
one partner in they're with them forever, right, you know,
it's a weird question, but like, how hard do swans
have to work to maintain that relationship? I don't know.
This is a question number three they have. They have
(06:44):
difficulty trusting after a heartbreak. Many men, many men which
death upon me. Many men feel scorned by past partners
and are unwilling to open their hearts again, and for
valid reason, got cheated on in my twenty year marriage
and divorced. One person wrote then dated a wonderful woman
(07:07):
for about eight months until she said she wasn't ready
to be in a relationship. I'm realizing I'm not ready
to trust anyone with my feelings again. Dating feels like
too much effort, and I did a lot of work
on myself and my mental health, so I'm just enjoying
my own company now. Someone else. Similar situation. My ex
(07:27):
ran off with my best friend after the divorce, changed
her address to his. Our kids are older, late teens,
early twenties. So I truly feel alone in what was
a busy household to now just me. I mean, that
is understandable, and I think you know that happens to
(07:49):
enough people. I don't think. I don't think it gets
talked about from a man's perspective very often. I know,
we as a society are quick to run in all
men cheat, hold up time out because women cheat too.
And we you know, we live in a society where
(08:10):
you know, as soon as a man speaks up about
his mental health or his lack of mental resilience, he's
looked upon as being weak, a beta, not equipped to lead,
just because you know, he had a breakdown somewhere he
wasn't able to just maintain it. They're gonna say, oh,
(08:32):
you got cheated on. You know, what weren't you doing
for her? Why did she Why didn't you make her
feel a certain type of way? So they're always going
to they're always going to bring it back to what
the man did. Right. We can see that in different instances.
I'll bring up the CEO at the Coldplay concert where
everybody was all over him. There was very few people
(08:55):
talking about how she was married to right it's going
to be centered on men. So I can see people
having difficulty with that because, and this is spoken from
a man, there's no support, there's none, there's none. When
you get a divorce, the courts want you to, you know,
(09:17):
give up half of everything, pension, house, cars, accounts, she
gets the you know, the children, and we have to
pay her, pay the kids, and just you figure it
out so that you know that wear is on a person.
I can see why someone doesn't want to jump back
(09:38):
into that. It's always the focus on what women have
to deal with, but we're not focused enough on men
have to deal with stuff too. It's not one or
the other. Both parties are dealing with things. Number four.
They don't know where to look. Even those who want
(09:59):
to date often don't know where to find matches. I'm
ready one, ready to admit it. I don't know where
to start. Truth be told. Same a second respondent. I
have a few hobbies that involve under other people, as
most suggests, but people don't talk to random's random others much,
and I'm not exactly exactly a talkative terry relatable. A
(10:22):
third person said, the apps don't seem to be the
answer either. I think men are often expected to do
all the pursuing, which is understandable giving traditional roles and whatnot.
But that's a lot of pressure to put on them,
especially when many men today are trying hard not to
appear creepy or intimidating. It's like a lose lose for
both sides of the coin. Talked about this. Also, we
(10:48):
have these datings app these dating apps, they're shit. I'm
just gonna say that, right, It's just people on there
wanting to get swiped on. They don't really want anything.
They just they're looking for the Christiano Ronaldo's of the
world to be On dating apps. These these ladies are
(11:09):
and the matching is terrible. The conversation is terrible. Right,
So the dating apps, they're just terrible. Okay, So then
we have person to person. God forbid, I walk up
to someone in my local Walmart and say, Hey, how
you doing. I'm like, the dude said, I'm weird, I'm
(11:31):
why are you talking to me? I'm I'm a threat, right,
I'm creepy, I'm all in, I'm cringe, I'm all of that.
So where where used to be? Right? If I saw you,
I could look at you. We make eye contact. Way
we start body language? Okay, like you see me looking
(11:55):
at you, you see me showing interest? What's going on?
How you how you be? Now, if you're looking at someone,
they're going to probably videotape you put you online and
say that, hey, this guy is staring at me. Again,
we've gone through the meeting people at work, right, you
(12:16):
don't know whether you're you know, Bob the executive or
Bob from accounting. Bob the executive tells you your hair
looks nice. Oh, he's such a great guy. He compliments you.
He's great. Bob from accounting tells you your hair looks nice,
and you go to HR. So we we definitely don't
(12:38):
know where to look. Bringing a friend with a girl
bringing one of her friends doesn't work because they're usually whack.
So my question I think I've talked. I've asked this
question on on stream. Be for like, ladies, y'all want
(13:02):
to be pursued, y'all want to be talk to. Y'all
want to be hollered at? When? When? Because if you
just run to the store and Walmart is sketchy, I mean,
Walmart is one of our biggest stores of Target. Okay,
let's go to target, right, all right, So you run
the target really quick because you need to get you know,
(13:24):
baking pans for a party or something like that. So
you're not sure. You're not dressed up, and you're not formal,
you're not looking what you deem your best. But to me,
you look nice. Okay, you look great? Oh nah, I'm not.
(13:45):
Oh you're trying to talk to me when I'm not
at my best and looking a certain type of way.
I mean, now, okay, Like, what's the problem if I
approach you? It don't matter if you got crust in
your eyes. I approached you. Obviously I can see through
you know whatever it is you got going on, because
we've all run to the store before, and so like,
(14:08):
what's the problem? Okay, switch that you get dressed up.
You'all go up with the girls. You got on your
little little black dress, red dress, whatever. You're looking good.
So now, oh, I'm not in the mood because I'm
with my girls. So my question is when is the
(14:28):
right time and how are men supposed to know it
is the right time? We don't know anymore because everything
has been so deluded saturated and everything I don't know
men do or is considered wrong nowadays, it's crazy number five.
(14:51):
They're looking for a needle in a haystack. Many of
today's daters, regardless of gender, have specific preferences that are
easily accessible. I feel like the kind of person I'm
comfortable with being and want to be and the kind
of person that would be successful in dating probably don't
overlap much, if at all, Nor do I have any
interest in being judged for what I like, what I think,
(15:14):
and who I am. One person wrote, so, if I
fall asked backwards into a relationship one day, I'll gladly
pursue one, but I've got little interest in doing what
it takes to actively pursue one. At this point, another
rhditor agreed, I feel the exact same way. I would
gladly pursue one with the right woman, but my idea
(15:34):
of the right woman is so niche, and I haven't
met anyone in my journey in life yet that I
feel wouldn't judge me. More of the story. It seems
like we're all struggling in the dating world, and every
gender has its own unique challenges and valid reasons for
being hesitant or even resentful. However, being hard on or
(15:56):
blaming each other probably is an helping which is true.
I mean looking for a needle in a haystack. That
could be depends on what you're looking for. You know,
they say looking for the high value man is a needle,
a needle in the haystack. Someone being over six feet
You know, that's you cut off a percentage of men.
(16:19):
Someone you want making one hundred k, you cut off
a percentage of men. What else? See, I don't know
what else does have his own house? I guess that
cuts off a percentage. No children, I guess that cuts
off a percentage. So it's really niche. And then when
(16:41):
you find those, you just you don't like his attitude
because he's not he's not generous enough for you. So,
I mean, I don't know. So what do y'all think
about that? What y'all think about the five reasons why
men are not dating
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