December 4, 2024 • 23 mins
Are you ready to unlock the power of mental toughness? 💪In this motivational episode, Felix Black breaks down the secrets to building resilience and staying strong in the face of adversity. Whether you’re battling personal challenges, career setbacks, or emotional struggles, mental toughness is the key to overcoming obstacles and achieving greatness.What You’ll Learn in This episode:
📢 Like, comment, and subscribe for more motivational content from Felix Black!
#MentalToughness #Motivation #Resilience #FelixBlack #PersonalGrowth #SelfImprovement
- The mindset shift needed to build unshakable resilience.
- Daily habits to strengthen your mental and emotional toughness.
- How to push through tough times without giving up.
- Inspiring stories and practical advice to keep you motivated.
📢 Like, comment, and subscribe for more motivational content from Felix Black!
#MentalToughness #Motivation #Resilience #FelixBlack #PersonalGrowth #SelfImprovement
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, welcome back viewers to another mister Felix Black video
here on the YouTube channel. Please, if you haven't already,
made sure that you follow me on all social media
platforms TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and x formerly known as Twitter. Today,
I want to talk to you a little bit about
mental toughness and mental resiliency. I was talking to a
(00:27):
friend the other day and you know, she didn't ask
for advice, but she's going through some things. So we
were just talking and she asked me a question that
led me down a pathway of explanation to what she
said at the end, I need to be a motivational speaker,
like I need to share this with other people.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
And you know, she's.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Right, and that's kind of what I wanted to do
with the podcast. It took a turn with talking about relationships,
and while I still will talk about relationships, this is
just another wrinkle that I wanted to add on to
the channel because it is something that I want to do.
I do like helping others. So let me just start
(01:13):
by saying, her question to me was when as a
child did my mental toughness my mental resiliency kick in?
And you know, I really had to think about this
for a second when she asked the question, because I
haven't always seen myself as someone who was mentally strong,
(01:36):
mentally resilient. It is something that I do have to
work at. But to answer her question, it had to
come specifically through my teenage years from my father, and
I will say my father has always stressed the point
of being on your own, being your own man, getting
(01:58):
your own thing, so nobody can tell you what to do.
If you have your own house, if you have your
own car, if you have your own belongings, you get
to decide what you want to do with those things.
At the time, being a fifteen, sixteen, seventeen year old,
(02:19):
you know, I don't understand it because it was rough,
Like he literally was like all over me daily, just
about responsibilities, just about chores.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
You know, as a teenager, what do I want to do.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I want to go outside, I want to talk to girls,
I want to talk to my friends, I want to
do things teenagers would want to do. But he was
really focused on the responsibility portion, you know, And as
a teenager at that time, I'm wondering, just is it
ever going to ease up? Is he ever going to
(02:56):
just chill, relax, you know, just take a break. Because
he's a person that he will find things that you
need to do better and improve upon. So there wasn't
a lot of positive reinforcement. And I don't say that
to say I was against it or you know, I
have some sort of leftover trauma from that. I'm a
(03:19):
grown adult now, so I understand. But as a teenager
trying to find your way, it was tough. And so
I always say that being at home, getting you know,
his approval, his okay, like, hey, there's nothing happening today,
(03:39):
so we're good. That was harder than anything outside the house, right,
just the constant you need to be more responsible. You
need to be responsible because no one's gonna give you anything.
As an adult, I totally understand, and I'm reaping the
benefits of that, But I had to develop that mental
(04:01):
toughness as a teenager. I'm the oldest, so anyone who's
the oldest out there knows. You get the brunt of
what your parents' parent what they're learning, their mistakes, their
good things, and then that trickles down to your siblings.
(04:21):
Am I saying the younger siblings have it easy? No,
I'm speaking as the oldest, we have it the hardest
out of everybody. That is my belief because I'm speaking
from that point. My parents were relatively young. They're in
their twenties and thirties, so you know, they're energetic and
they're learning too. That is something that now as as
(04:42):
an adult, I realize your parents are learning. They don't
have all of the answers. So that's why I'm not
upset at the upbringing. They were giving me what they had,
and so I appreciate that one percent because they did
the best that they could was what they had, and
now it's on me to move those steps forward.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
But it was really tough.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
As a fifteen sixteen year old, you know, boy, there
wasn't a lot of softness built into that. It was
really tough. It was really rigid, and you know, I
just had to endure that. I ended up leaving home
at seventeen years old to go away to school. And
(05:28):
while it was okay, I was young. I was in
Daytona Beach, Florida, So my grades weren't the greatest because
I wanted to have fun. I was out of the house.
I didn't I wasn't focused on school the way that
I should have been. I left home permanently at nineteen,
so you know, after a year at school, I did
(05:48):
move back, and I was at home for maybe six months.
And my dad is an alpha dog. He raises alpha
dogs to say, you need to get your own so
nobody can tell you what else, so nobody can tell
you what you can and can't do in your own home,
in your own life. And so at nineteen I ventured out.
(06:13):
You know, I didn't have I didn't have a system
to look back upon and run things by. My dad
is old school, and as things advance, some of his
thought processes didn't necessarily advance with it.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
And that's okay.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
You know, we get to a certain point of where
we're comfortable and things are the way things are. And
so as things advance, as things go into the twenty
first century, into the two thousands, of twenty tens, the
twenty twenties.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I don't have many outlets.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
To reassure myself of what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
So I'm taking chances. I'm trying things, I'm failing. I'm
trying things, and I'm succeeding.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Not everything is an l not everything is a win,
But you understand, I started to understand that those things
were not permanent. When you take a L, you have
to go back to square one. Sometimes sometimes you have
to go back to square five. You regroup, and you
go forward again. At the end of the day, there's
(07:29):
not a lot of people that are concerned that you
have that you are having a hard time. You know,
I went through that. Was it fair that I went
through that? I don't think it was fair, But again
it got me to the point that I am now,
And right as I am now, I still I still
(07:51):
go through things of my own. I still take ls
and I still take w's, but I make those decisions
with the information that I have. And so I'm seeing
as a person who is okay, who is fine, who
is thriving, And I would agree with that. I don't
(08:13):
have a lot of people that I run my issues by.
I'm the person that people bring their issues to. So
I am that helping hand. I give the feedback, I
give the assistance, I lend the ear. And so now
where I am is I always tell people to find
their purpose and I think that going through all of that,
(08:37):
you know, sometimes adversity, but there was a lot of
good points in there too. It led me to this point,
and I think that's what my purpose is. My purpose
is to be the stability, to be the rock for
other people. She also asked, well, how do I take
care of myself? When do I get time to myself?
(09:00):
A lot of times in myself, I'm actually.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
A lone wolf.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
I don't mind at all being by myself. There are
times where yes I would like company. I would I
would like to share moments with someone else, But a
lot of times by myself is how I maintain my
own sanity and my own stability. So when people come
(09:25):
to me with their issues, I'm ready, like I'm ready
to listen, I'm ready to be there. I'm ready to
give them the assistance that they require because I feel
that this is my purpose. If someone brings me their
issue and they are sad, they're upset, I cannot share
(09:50):
their sadness. I can't then become sad. If they're crying,
I can't then start crying. I see myself as a
support system. So if you come to me with an issue,
it is my opinion that I have to be strong
for you in that moment and going forward.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
And that's how people view me.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
So there's not a lot of people that check on
me specifically, and I'm not doing this video to say, hey,
I need that. I'm doing this to say this is
where my personality stems from and why I do the
things that I do. I am probably going to work
to become a therapist in the future. Why because the
(10:37):
mental stability and the mental toughness that I do have,
though it's not perfect. I want to share that with
others and let people know that whatever you're going through,
it's temporary. It may not look that way to you,
and I get it. We all go through peaks, and
we all go through our peaks and valleys. We go
(10:57):
through our valleys at our own space. I cannot rush
someone going through their lowest moment.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I cannot do that.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I would like to rush to get them out of
the darkness, but what I cannot and what I will
not do, is let someone stay in the darkness their
low point. It is my responsibility, something that I take
on because someone has brought me their issue, and so
(11:25):
I take that seriously, seriously, seriously, because if I'm too tired,
if I'm too busy, if I'm not aware that this
person needs assistance, I don't know what their next step
will be and I don't want it to be the
ultimate or the very last step we take right. So
(11:46):
that's why when someone wants to talk, when someone wants time,
I will give them that time. And it's not a
burden on me. The last thing I want to hear
is someone said, well, I didn't want to burden you
with my issues. I don't ever see someone's issues as
a burden.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
They're not.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
There's someone's issues, and someone has the trust, the belief,
and they give me the credibility to where they share
that with me, and so I take that with the
utmost honor and respect. I want to be there when
(12:28):
that person comes out of the darkness. You may feel
that you're sitting in a pit that's ten feet deep
that's covering you, when in actuality, the pit may be
two feet deep. It may not be as deep as
you think it is, only because you are in that
specific moment, so you think it's all crashing down on
(12:53):
you and you have no outlet. I'm right at the
edge of the pit for friends, for family, for people
who bring those issues to me with an extended hand,
to let you know it's not as deep as you
think it is. It's as deep as your mind creates
it to be, and I want you to come out
of that as soon as possible.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Now, have I.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Made mistakes with handling people in their dark places?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yes? I am not perfect.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yes, yes, because again, since I'm not in that position,
I don't understand one hundred percent how it feels to
that person. It doesn't matter if I've gone through the
same thing. I don't know how it feels to that person.
But again, the support system in me wants you to
(13:49):
come out of that as soon as possible and to
let you know that this is not the end and
you are not the only one going through this. That
is something that I wish more people understood is there
is nothing. There is nothing that someone goes through that
(14:14):
no one else on the planet has gone through, is
going through, or will be going through. Now, every situation
is different, but the underlying issue You're not the only one.
There's seven billion people walking this planet. You think that
(14:36):
you're the only one going through that, that's damnar impossible.
That's damnar impossible. So I want to remind people of that. So, yes,
if you bring an issue to me, I can't then
start crying with you. I have to maintain a sense
(15:00):
of structure, a sense of stability for that person, and
I will continue to do that like that's how I function. So, yes,
I don't want I don't want a person to reach
out to me, not be able to get in contact
with me and do something drastic. That's something that wouldn't
(15:22):
sit right with me. I wouldn't be able to live
with those results.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Ever. That's where the mental toughness comes from.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
That's where I don't like to use the word independence,
because it's mental toughness if I cannot control it.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
And I say this to people, if.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
You cannot control that situation, understanding there's nothing you can do,
so don't let it drive you to madness. There's a
lot of situations where people take on themselves. They want
to control it, but they can't. You cannot control the
actions of someone else. You have to get to a
(16:06):
certain point and understand it's out of your hands. It
may not be destined for you, and you have to
accept that. That is mental toughness, mental resiliency. Accepting that
something may not be for you. That doesn't mean that
you're a failure. That means that you have to regroup
(16:27):
and find the path that you're supposed to be on.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I will say it.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I will use myself as an example. I want to
be a person on YouTube that has a successful following,
that has a successful, you know, YouTube career. I have
to understand that that is something that I want, but
it may not be destined for me. There are people
(16:53):
that want to play in the NBA, in the NFL
and the MLB, but they can't. They don't have the skills,
they don't have the talent, they weren't able to reach
that level. They are not a failure. That just wasn't
the path that they were supposed to be on. It
(17:13):
may have fit for the time you were in high school, college,
but once things start to chip themselves down to the
one percenters, you weren't meant to be in that group.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
So what do you do.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
You bounce back and you find another way where you
can get the fulfillment that you need. There's people that
are steadily trying to get there, trying to get there,
trying to get there, only for there to be many
roadblocks and many obstacles. Sometimes we have to take that
as a sign that you're not destined to do that.
(17:48):
So in those instances, you have to regroup. You cannot
control that you have maximized your talent. You have peaked
at a certain point. Your peak did not lead you
to those professional levels. Okay. You have to be able
(18:12):
to walk away from that knowing that you gave it
everything that you had. It wasn't enough, and that's okay.
Your skills were meant to be put somewhere else. Now,
you may not be good enough to play in the NBA.
You might not have Your destiny might lead you to
(18:35):
somewhere else that has nothing to do with basketball. When
people find their calling, that's what they feel they are
meant to do because now they are making a difference
and they feel fulfillment. Also, this is something that I
want to do. YouTube is something that I want to do.
It may not be my ultimate calling. I don't know.
(18:58):
I'm trying it. I'm doing it the way that I
want to do that and if the results meet what
I think the results should be, then I'm on the
right path. But if I've given everything that I have,
my time, my energy, my focus to this craft and
(19:19):
it doesn't prove fruitful for me, then I'm on the
wrong path. And life is too short to continuously go
down the wrong path for so long. It's okay to
go down the wrong path, but you have to know
when and understand that you are on the wrong path.
And that's the mental resiliency part. We can't, you cannot
(19:43):
let it fall apart because you have to regroup.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
And it's okay to regroup.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
It's okay to be sad, it's okay to grieve, it's
okay to go to the dark place. It's not okay
to stay there. It's not okay. It's not okay. You
have to find a way out of it. And so
that's what I want to help people do. I feel
like it's been my calling because this is something that
(20:15):
has has lived with me for.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
My entire life.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
And I'm okay with that because it's helping other people.
It's helping others, and it's helping myself because me giving
my I don't want to even say expertise, Me giving
my resiliency to someone else builds them and they give
(20:43):
their resiliency to someone else. And that's how we all
get mentally stronger. Some of us get mentally strong on
our own, and we understand the thoughts of failure and success.
Some people cannot take failure, some.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
People cannot accept it.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
And once people reach that roadblock to failure, that's where
they implode. And I want to build that mental toughness
in everyone.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
So this is that's where it comes from.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
It comes from an upbringing, a tough upbringing that made
me resilient daily to where anything outside is easy because
the average person doesn't doesn't care as much as he
did or he does right, And that's what it is.
He cared enough about me being successful that he was
(21:38):
willing to be that way. I'm willing to be disliked
by someone as long as you come out on the
other side. You're gonna get upset with me because I'm
telling you, hey, get over that. Let's move forward. And
you want to stay in a dark place, So what
do we do? We last out? You want to stay there.
(21:59):
You you feel this is where it should be. This
is the end for you, This is the point for you.
And I disagree. I will always disagree that there is
always more, There's always more ahead. You don't see that now,
but I'm here. I'm waiting for you to come out
of whatever it is that you are stuck in at
(22:21):
the moment, and I will continue to wait until you're ready,
and I will continue to use those words of encouragement
because I don't care if it cuts down.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
You're staying in a dark.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Place by a day, by a minute, by whatever, as
long as you come out eventually. And I want to
make sure that you come out of that dark place eventually.
And so I'm going to continue to sit there. And
if a person gets mad and lashes out, that's okay,
that's okay. These shoulders are meant to take that criticism.
(22:54):
I don't take it personal because I understand where your
mind is right now.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I understand it.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
And so once you come out of that, you're going
to be better, stronger, faster, and more things will be
in your tools for success and you will then appreciate that.
So all of that anger, everything that was said before,
I understand, I understand. And so now that you're out
(23:22):
of that dark place, you understand too. And that's how
mental resiliency is built.
Hey, welcome back viewers to another mister Felix Black video
here on the YouTube channel. Please, if you haven't already,
made sure that you follow me on all social media
platforms TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and x formerly known as Twitter. Today,
I want to talk to you a little bit about
mental toughness and mental resiliency. I was talking to a
(00:27):
friend the other day and you know, she didn't ask
for advice, but she's going through some things. So we
were just talking and she asked me a question that
led me down a pathway of explanation to what she
said at the end, I need to be a motivational speaker,
like I need to share this with other people.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
And you know, she's.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Right, and that's kind of what I wanted to do
with the podcast. It took a turn with talking about relationships,
and while I still will talk about relationships, this is
just another wrinkle that I wanted to add on to
the channel because it is something that I want to do.
I do like helping others. So let me just start
(01:13):
by saying, her question to me was when as a
child did my mental toughness my mental resiliency kick in?
And you know, I really had to think about this
for a second when she asked the question, because I
haven't always seen myself as someone who was mentally strong,
(01:36):
mentally resilient. It is something that I do have to
work at. But to answer her question, it had to
come specifically through my teenage years from my father, and
I will say my father has always stressed the point
of being on your own, being your own man, getting
(01:58):
your own thing, so nobody can tell you what to do.
If you have your own house, if you have your
own car, if you have your own belongings, you get
to decide what you want to do with those things.
At the time, being a fifteen, sixteen, seventeen year old,
(02:19):
you know, I don't understand it because it was rough,
Like he literally was like all over me daily, just
about responsibilities, just about chores.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
You know, as a teenager, what do I want to do.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I want to go outside, I want to talk to girls,
I want to talk to my friends, I want to
do things teenagers would want to do. But he was
really focused on the responsibility portion, you know, And as
a teenager at that time, I'm wondering, just is it
ever going to ease up? Is he ever going to
(02:56):
just chill, relax, you know, just take a break. Because
he's a person that he will find things that you
need to do better and improve upon. So there wasn't
a lot of positive reinforcement. And I don't say that
to say I was against it or you know, I
have some sort of leftover trauma from that. I'm a
(03:19):
grown adult now, so I understand. But as a teenager
trying to find your way, it was tough. And so
I always say that being at home, getting you know,
his approval, his okay, like, hey, there's nothing happening today,
(03:39):
so we're good. That was harder than anything outside the house, right,
just the constant you need to be more responsible. You
need to be responsible because no one's gonna give you anything.
As an adult, I totally understand, and I'm reaping the
benefits of that, But I had to develop that mental
(04:01):
toughness as a teenager. I'm the oldest, so anyone who's
the oldest out there knows. You get the brunt of
what your parents' parent what they're learning, their mistakes, their
good things, and then that trickles down to your siblings.
(04:21):
Am I saying the younger siblings have it easy? No,
I'm speaking as the oldest, we have it the hardest
out of everybody. That is my belief because I'm speaking
from that point. My parents were relatively young. They're in
their twenties and thirties, so you know, they're energetic and
they're learning too. That is something that now as as
(04:42):
an adult, I realize your parents are learning. They don't
have all of the answers. So that's why I'm not
upset at the upbringing. They were giving me what they had,
and so I appreciate that one percent because they did
the best that they could was what they had, and
now it's on me to move those steps forward.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
But it was really tough.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
As a fifteen sixteen year old, you know, boy, there
wasn't a lot of softness built into that. It was
really tough. It was really rigid, and you know, I
just had to endure that. I ended up leaving home
at seventeen years old to go away to school. And
(05:28):
while it was okay, I was young. I was in
Daytona Beach, Florida, So my grades weren't the greatest because
I wanted to have fun. I was out of the house.
I didn't I wasn't focused on school the way that
I should have been. I left home permanently at nineteen,
so you know, after a year at school, I did
(05:48):
move back, and I was at home for maybe six months.
And my dad is an alpha dog. He raises alpha
dogs to say, you need to get your own so
nobody can tell you what else, so nobody can tell
you what you can and can't do in your own home,
in your own life. And so at nineteen I ventured out.
(06:13):
You know, I didn't have I didn't have a system
to look back upon and run things by. My dad
is old school, and as things advance, some of his
thought processes didn't necessarily advance with it.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
And that's okay.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
You know, we get to a certain point of where
we're comfortable and things are the way things are. And
so as things advance, as things go into the twenty
first century, into the two thousands, of twenty tens, the
twenty twenties.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I don't have many outlets.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
To reassure myself of what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
So I'm taking chances. I'm trying things, I'm failing. I'm
trying things, and I'm succeeding.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Not everything is an l not everything is a win,
But you understand, I started to understand that those things
were not permanent. When you take a L, you have
to go back to square one. Sometimes sometimes you have
to go back to square five. You regroup, and you
go forward again. At the end of the day, there's
(07:29):
not a lot of people that are concerned that you
have that you are having a hard time. You know,
I went through that. Was it fair that I went
through that? I don't think it was fair, But again
it got me to the point that I am now,
And right as I am now, I still I still
(07:51):
go through things of my own. I still take ls
and I still take w's, but I make those decisions
with the information that I have. And so I'm seeing
as a person who is okay, who is fine, who
is thriving, And I would agree with that. I don't
(08:13):
have a lot of people that I run my issues by.
I'm the person that people bring their issues to. So
I am that helping hand. I give the feedback, I
give the assistance, I lend the ear. And so now
where I am is I always tell people to find
their purpose and I think that going through all of that,
(08:37):
you know, sometimes adversity, but there was a lot of
good points in there too. It led me to this point,
and I think that's what my purpose is. My purpose
is to be the stability, to be the rock for
other people. She also asked, well, how do I take
care of myself? When do I get time to myself?
(09:00):
A lot of times in myself, I'm actually.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
A lone wolf.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
I don't mind at all being by myself. There are
times where yes I would like company. I would I
would like to share moments with someone else, But a
lot of times by myself is how I maintain my
own sanity and my own stability. So when people come
(09:25):
to me with their issues, I'm ready, like I'm ready
to listen, I'm ready to be there. I'm ready to
give them the assistance that they require because I feel
that this is my purpose. If someone brings me their
issue and they are sad, they're upset, I cannot share
(09:50):
their sadness. I can't then become sad. If they're crying,
I can't then start crying. I see myself as a
support system. So if you come to me with an issue,
it is my opinion that I have to be strong
for you in that moment and going forward.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
And that's how people view me.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
So there's not a lot of people that check on
me specifically, and I'm not doing this video to say, hey,
I need that. I'm doing this to say this is
where my personality stems from and why I do the
things that I do. I am probably going to work
to become a therapist in the future. Why because the
(10:37):
mental stability and the mental toughness that I do have,
though it's not perfect. I want to share that with
others and let people know that whatever you're going through,
it's temporary. It may not look that way to you,
and I get it. We all go through peaks, and
we all go through our peaks and valleys. We go
(10:57):
through our valleys at our own space. I cannot rush
someone going through their lowest moment.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I cannot do that.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I would like to rush to get them out of
the darkness, but what I cannot and what I will
not do, is let someone stay in the darkness their
low point. It is my responsibility, something that I take
on because someone has brought me their issue, and so
(11:25):
I take that seriously, seriously, seriously, because if I'm too tired,
if I'm too busy, if I'm not aware that this
person needs assistance, I don't know what their next step
will be and I don't want it to be the
ultimate or the very last step we take right. So
(11:46):
that's why when someone wants to talk, when someone wants time,
I will give them that time. And it's not a
burden on me. The last thing I want to hear
is someone said, well, I didn't want to burden you
with my issues. I don't ever see someone's issues as
a burden.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
They're not.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
There's someone's issues, and someone has the trust, the belief,
and they give me the credibility to where they share
that with me, and so I take that with the
utmost honor and respect. I want to be there when
(12:28):
that person comes out of the darkness. You may feel
that you're sitting in a pit that's ten feet deep
that's covering you, when in actuality, the pit may be
two feet deep. It may not be as deep as
you think it is, only because you are in that
specific moment, so you think it's all crashing down on
(12:53):
you and you have no outlet. I'm right at the
edge of the pit for friends, for family, for people
who bring those issues to me with an extended hand,
to let you know it's not as deep as you
think it is. It's as deep as your mind creates
it to be, and I want you to come out
of that as soon as possible.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Now, have I.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Made mistakes with handling people in their dark places?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yes? I am not perfect.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yes, yes, because again, since I'm not in that position,
I don't understand one hundred percent how it feels to
that person. It doesn't matter if I've gone through the
same thing. I don't know how it feels to that person.
But again, the support system in me wants you to
(13:49):
come out of that as soon as possible and to
let you know that this is not the end and
you are not the only one going through this. That
is something that I wish more people understood is there
is nothing. There is nothing that someone goes through that
(14:14):
no one else on the planet has gone through, is
going through, or will be going through. Now, every situation
is different, but the underlying issue You're not the only one.
There's seven billion people walking this planet. You think that
(14:36):
you're the only one going through that, that's damnar impossible.
That's damnar impossible. So I want to remind people of that. So, yes,
if you bring an issue to me, I can't then
start crying with you. I have to maintain a sense
(15:00):
of structure, a sense of stability for that person, and
I will continue to do that like that's how I function. So, yes,
I don't want I don't want a person to reach
out to me, not be able to get in contact
with me and do something drastic. That's something that wouldn't
(15:22):
sit right with me. I wouldn't be able to live
with those results.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Ever. That's where the mental toughness comes from.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
That's where I don't like to use the word independence,
because it's mental toughness if I cannot control it.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
And I say this to people, if.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
You cannot control that situation, understanding there's nothing you can do,
so don't let it drive you to madness. There's a
lot of situations where people take on themselves. They want
to control it, but they can't. You cannot control the
actions of someone else. You have to get to a
(16:06):
certain point and understand it's out of your hands. It
may not be destined for you, and you have to
accept that. That is mental toughness, mental resiliency. Accepting that
something may not be for you. That doesn't mean that
you're a failure. That means that you have to regroup
(16:27):
and find the path that you're supposed to be on.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I will say it.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I will use myself as an example. I want to
be a person on YouTube that has a successful following,
that has a successful, you know, YouTube career. I have
to understand that that is something that I want, but
it may not be destined for me. There are people
(16:53):
that want to play in the NBA, in the NFL
and the MLB, but they can't. They don't have the skills,
they don't have the talent, they weren't able to reach
that level. They are not a failure. That just wasn't
the path that they were supposed to be on. It
(17:13):
may have fit for the time you were in high school, college,
but once things start to chip themselves down to the
one percenters, you weren't meant to be in that group.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
So what do you do.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
You bounce back and you find another way where you
can get the fulfillment that you need. There's people that
are steadily trying to get there, trying to get there,
trying to get there, only for there to be many
roadblocks and many obstacles. Sometimes we have to take that
as a sign that you're not destined to do that.
(17:48):
So in those instances, you have to regroup. You cannot
control that you have maximized your talent. You have peaked
at a certain point. Your peak did not lead you
to those professional levels. Okay. You have to be able
(18:12):
to walk away from that knowing that you gave it
everything that you had. It wasn't enough, and that's okay.
Your skills were meant to be put somewhere else. Now,
you may not be good enough to play in the NBA.
You might not have Your destiny might lead you to
(18:35):
somewhere else that has nothing to do with basketball. When
people find their calling, that's what they feel they are
meant to do because now they are making a difference
and they feel fulfillment. Also, this is something that I
want to do. YouTube is something that I want to do.
It may not be my ultimate calling. I don't know.
(18:58):
I'm trying it. I'm doing it the way that I
want to do that and if the results meet what
I think the results should be, then I'm on the
right path. But if I've given everything that I have,
my time, my energy, my focus to this craft and
(19:19):
it doesn't prove fruitful for me, then I'm on the
wrong path. And life is too short to continuously go
down the wrong path for so long. It's okay to
go down the wrong path, but you have to know
when and understand that you are on the wrong path.
And that's the mental resiliency part. We can't, you cannot
(19:43):
let it fall apart because you have to regroup.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
And it's okay to regroup.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
It's okay to be sad, it's okay to grieve, it's
okay to go to the dark place. It's not okay
to stay there. It's not okay. It's not okay. You
have to find a way out of it. And so
that's what I want to help people do. I feel
like it's been my calling because this is something that
(20:15):
has has lived with me for.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
My entire life.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
And I'm okay with that because it's helping other people.
It's helping others, and it's helping myself because me giving
my I don't want to even say expertise, Me giving
my resiliency to someone else builds them and they give
(20:43):
their resiliency to someone else. And that's how we all
get mentally stronger. Some of us get mentally strong on
our own, and we understand the thoughts of failure and success.
Some people cannot take failure, some.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
People cannot accept it.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
And once people reach that roadblock to failure, that's where
they implode. And I want to build that mental toughness
in everyone.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
So this is that's where it comes from.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
It comes from an upbringing, a tough upbringing that made
me resilient daily to where anything outside is easy because
the average person doesn't doesn't care as much as he
did or he does right, And that's what it is.
He cared enough about me being successful that he was
(21:38):
willing to be that way. I'm willing to be disliked
by someone as long as you come out on the
other side. You're gonna get upset with me because I'm
telling you, hey, get over that. Let's move forward. And
you want to stay in a dark place, So what
do we do? We last out? You want to stay there.
(21:59):
You you feel this is where it should be. This
is the end for you, This is the point for you.
And I disagree. I will always disagree that there is
always more, There's always more ahead. You don't see that now,
but I'm here. I'm waiting for you to come out
of whatever it is that you are stuck in at
(22:21):
the moment, and I will continue to wait until you're ready,
and I will continue to use those words of encouragement
because I don't care if it cuts down.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
You're staying in a dark.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Place by a day, by a minute, by whatever, as
long as you come out eventually. And I want to
make sure that you come out of that dark place eventually.
And so I'm going to continue to sit there. And
if a person gets mad and lashes out, that's okay,
that's okay. These shoulders are meant to take that criticism.
(22:54):
I don't take it personal because I understand where your
mind is right now.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I understand it.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
And so once you come out of that, you're going
to be better, stronger, faster, and more things will be
in your tools for success and you will then appreciate that.
So all of that anger, everything that was said before,
I understand, I understand. And so now that you're out
(23:22):
of that dark place, you understand too. And that's how
mental resiliency is built.
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