November 29, 2024 • 27 mins
Who should pay the bills in a relationship? Let’s talk about the 50/50 split!In this live episode of The Felix Black Show, Felix Black tackles one of the most debated topics in modern relationships: splitting expenses. Should couples divide everything evenly, or does one partner need to take on more financial responsibility? Felix shares his insights on money dynamics, gender roles, and what truly builds a balanced partnership.Key Discussion Points:
- Is a 50/50 split fair in every relationship?
- The impact of income disparity on financial decisions.
- How money dynamics influence power and respect in relationships.
- Real-world tips for managing finances as a couple.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
What am I talking about today? I'm talking about going
fifty to fifty in a relationship and why we have
such an issue just in general with that. Can someone
explain to me? Hold on, explain to me what is
(00:35):
the issue with fifty to fifty? Like, what is wrong
with that? Okay? I don't see an issue with fifty
to fifty. I will say this to begin with. I
don't see an issue with people running their relationships how
they see fit. That's first and foremost. Okay. But we
(00:57):
live in a microwave age and instant gratification age. Hey,
a social media streaming age. I am Felix Black. This
is the Feelings Black Podcast. So I'm one of those people.
I'm not above it. Where we share our opinion across
the internet. We are able to get advice from across
(01:17):
the internet, and you see the wide ranging opinions of
people that are out there. It's it's people's opinion range.
Everything you can think of, right, nothing is impossible with
people walking this planet. So there's a I don't know
(01:40):
if there's still a movement, but there. You know, there
was a movement at one time, and it's the red
pill movement. For so many years, men have felt like
we were second fiddle in relationships, specifically marriages. I don't
(02:03):
know who came up with the concept of marriage. You know,
I was giving this world. I didn't make it. It
was already here before I got here. Okay, So the
concept of marriage was already there there. Just started a
movement of men focusing on themselves before focusing on getting
(02:24):
married and having children. That's just the way that we're evolving, right.
We are accepting a lot more in society today than
we did yesterday, and it will continue to move forward. Right, So,
the red Pill movement is spearheading men, don't knock your
(02:47):
own value. Don't beat yourself up for not being millionaires
at age age teen, at age eighteen. Don't beat yourself
up for failing. Don't beat yourself up for not being
able to find a partner within societal norms. What society
says is the norm for finding someone to marry and
(03:11):
to be with. That's what the red Pill movement is
given with, you know, a little bit more emphasis. The
red Pill movement is not supposed to be an attack
on women. Is not supposed to be. It's supposed to
be informative to men about knowing your worth and re
(03:33):
establishing yourself and your foundation. And I've always said, and
like I will continue to say in all of my videos,
I support the red Pill movement. I do the positive
version of it, not the negative overly over I don't
want to say overly masculine, but the degrading part of it, right,
(03:54):
the ones that say, you know, women ain't ish, relationships
aren't ish, They're not worth it. You know, I'm gonna
do the I'm gonna do the censorship because I do
want to put this on YouTube, and they do try
to flag videos for multiple curses. But so if I'm
a little PG rated, that's why I'm not with the
(04:15):
overly men shouldn't be in relationships. I don't know. I
disagree with that. I don't think it's a gender thing.
I think it's a personal thing. Some men like to
be in relationships and that works for them. Some women
(04:37):
like to be in relationships and that works for them,
and vice versa. Some men like to be in relationships.
They just haven't had any good luck. Okay, that happens.
What do you mean, it happens, same thing with women.
It happens. So there's nothing wrong with trying. There's nothing
wrong with failing in a relationship. Understand what a relationship is.
(05:00):
It's two strangers, two complete strangers, coming together to try
to coexist for all of eternity. Now, I don't care
if you were together for eighty five years, one hundred years.
You will never fully know the person at your side.
(05:21):
You will never fully know because it's impossible. You will
only know what that person shares with you. Now, you
will learn their habits. Going forward, you will learn more
about them. But it still it still remains that even
after years, things come out about people's partners that they
(05:42):
had no idea right because people hide things. That's it.
So you could be with someone forever and not truly
know who they are. And you know that is a
that's a relationship, to complete strangers coming together trying to coexist.
That's why, that's why it's so difficult, because studies have
(06:06):
shown that even two people brought up in the same
environment with no variables, think, feel, act, respond differently. That's
just I mean, that's just it. That's what happens. So
(06:26):
imagine having someone of a complete opposite gender or same gender.
It's your relationship with and you guys are now sharing
the life together. You know that's tough. So now you
have the blue pill movement. The blue pill is counteracting
the red obviously, and the blue pill is you know,
(06:49):
women empowerment. Women are awesome, and women are great. It's
the men who need to step up. So it was
created in in opposite to the red pill movement. Men
need to step up. You should be doing this for
your woman Xyz, to take care of her, make sure
(07:10):
she's safe, protected, whatever she needs emotionally to feel emotionally secure,
physically secure with you in a relationship, financially secure, with
you in a relationship. You should be doing That's essentially
with the blue pill is. Now there are men that
are in the blue pill movement. There are men that
(07:30):
produce a lot of blue pill content. So that's why
I said, even though there's a red pill movement and
it's a lot of men empowerment and men should be
doing you know, men are the leaders, men are the protectors.
It's the woman who should be taking care of him, cooking, cleaning,
stuff like that. I understand both sides said this before,
(07:56):
say it again right because again this is the foundation
for my videos, for my content Felix Black Show podcasts.
Both sides can improve. I'm a man, so I'm obviously
I'm gonna go with the red Pill movement that us men,
(08:20):
we are worth way more than society will let us
to believe, Okay, and we need to establish ourselves. And
once we establish ourselves, we are now the cornerstone. We
are now the top dog, the leader in that relationship. Yes,
I wholeheartedly believe that. The reason why we've got we
(08:40):
have a lot of masculine women, the modern woman, who
don't want to act like Grandma, Nana who else? This
is some other words for grandma, bol me ma. Right,
The reason why they don't want to act like that
is because they haven't felt thatecurity from the men in
(09:02):
their lives. I'm not gonna say from men, from the
men in their lives. We have to remember that because
we take our small sample size of experience with people. Right,
you might have had let's say you've had ten partners,
(09:23):
boyfriend's girlfriends. There's seven billion people walking the planet. Split
that in half. That's just being generous. So that's three
point five billion men and women, give or take a
couple hundred million, right, give or take. So you've dated
(09:47):
ten people and there's two point five billion other men
and women out there. That's such a small sample size.
So this is the people that you've run into, people
have I've run into. So we're making this conscious effort
to write the ship, if you will, because we need
(10:09):
each other. Men are better than women. Women aren't better
than men. We compliment each other, the ying and the
yang a puzzle piece. We fit together. That's the way
it's supposed to be, right, Not a carbon copy of
one self. You shouldn't want a carbon copy of yourself
(10:31):
in the other sex like to be your partner. You
should want someone who fits together, who compliments you. That's
where we get to the fifty to fifty. It seems
to be the fifty to fifty is such a bad
thing in dating. Women want men to do Women want
(10:52):
men to pay one hundred percent of everything, bills, mortgage.
Do women actually want that or are we just saying that?
And if he's paying one what is your contribution? I
(11:15):
need to know what that is because you cannot tell me.
You cannot tell me that you're working. If he's paying
one hundred percent of everything, okay, and he's working, obviously
he makes money somehow, So you're working now? What what
(11:40):
is your role? That is the question we need to define.
It's easy for everyone to define the man's role. It's
just it's like on to repeat. It's easy. Just throw
it out there. Provide to take care of his wallman
to make sure da da Okay, cool, got it. What's
(12:00):
the woman's roll? Love? What like? What's her role? What
is that going to be? You have to define that
for me. What is the problem with paying fifty to fifty?
If you're paying one hundred percent by yourself, okay, follow
(12:25):
me on that. You're paying one hundred percent of your
own apartment, to your own house, your own car, insurance, electric, cable, internet,
you're paying one hundred percent of that right now? So
is he? And I only you know, I'm only talking
(12:47):
to women because I think they are more against the
fifty to fifty than the men are. If that's wrong,
let me know in the comments section. From what I've seen,
usually it's about forty percent of men do the fifty
to fifty thing. It's probably ten percent of women that
are okay with doing fifty to fifty. That's from you know,
(13:09):
my research, my numbers. Why are they? Why are you
so opposed I'm gonna say them, why are you Cause
I'm talking to the woman that doesn't want to do
fifty to fifty and again I'm asking the question. I'm
arguing for both sides. I just want to know the answer,
and please don't DM me. Just put the answer on
(13:30):
the video. Please, thank you. I appreciate that. What is
the problem with fifty to fifty when you are you're
paying one hundred percent by yourself at the moment. Okay,
so you're paying one hundred percent, fifty fifty gives you
(13:53):
fifty percent of your wages back into your pocket. So
he is helping you financially. He is. Just because he's
not paying one hundred percent of all of your bills
does not mean he's not helping you financially. Why is
(14:15):
it that fifty percent is not enough? You're contributing to
a household? Okay, Now, I know the argument usually against
fifty to fifty is, well, you know, he expects me
to work, cook and clean and all of that type
of stuff. I mean, yeah, but at the end of
the day, men cook too. It may be in the
(14:38):
form of grilling, it may be in the form of
getting food to take out to go. I mean, that's
not cooking in the natural sense, but that's making sure
you have food to eat. Because let's be honest, even
though we may say we want y'all to cook, y'all
not cooking every night, we understand that. We get that.
(14:59):
I hope as men get that. I get that. So
you're not even cooking every night. Cleaning, I mean you're
you're naturally going to clean up behind yourself. That's just
how we do as human beings. We clean up behind ourselves.
You can't. I mean if you if you have a
(15:19):
guy who's not cleaning up behind him. So that's that's
not that's not a man thing, that's a hymn thing,
because again, there are plenty of men and women who
clean up behind themselves with no problem. Okay, So I
hate to put that on all men and all women.
That's not true. That's a hymn or her thing. But
(15:41):
we're already doing that. We're already picking up stuff that
are around the house, toys or whatever that's in the way,
rearranging stuff. Now are we Are we always going to
be deep cleaning the walls? No, that is that what
you mean by cleaning? Clean out therigerator? Yeah, clean out
(16:01):
the garage. Yeah, I mean that's cleaning, that's organizing the house.
So we're already working, we're already paying all the bills
we assist around the house. Does that constitute you then
(16:30):
being a homemaker staying at home cooking and cleaning. I mean,
I don't understand what the issue is with that. If
you're going fifty to fifty, that means you're working, right,
So when you get off work, we're still sharing those tasks,
We're still sharing those house chores. It has to be done.
(16:57):
So why has a man looked at Why has a
man looked at any differently? If he's talking fifty to fifty, right,
we're not talking about we're not talking about a date here,
a first date, Okay, I meant and men are supposed
to pay for that, right, I get that. Now if
we're going on six seven dates, hold on, like we
need to start doing something different again. I'm not going
(17:18):
to be paying for you to go out to eat
six or seven times. And you're talking about like you
don't feel safe, you don't want to come over to
the house or do anything different, like miss me with that.
That's bs and you know it. But fifty to fifty
is still cutting our expenses as an individual in half.
So you're not financially supporting me. You are complimenting me
(17:43):
now if you're paying most of the bills and I'm not. Now,
you know, I feel some type of way about that
because I feel that you know, we're supposed to We're
supposed to at least be half, if not more, No
more if not half. Maybe I said that incorrectly, more
if not half. But what's the big deal with with
(18:04):
with fifty to fifty? I mean, I don't understand the
problem with that inside of a household because I think
it's always you want to be part of a team.
You want to use the word team. We need to
stop using these these terms and these thought processes when
it benefits us. I want an old school love. I
want to be courted. I want to be taking out,
I want to be chased. Got all of that, Well,
(18:24):
what's the old school of you know, like our grandparents
used to do? Okay, So when I think about that,
I think about how Grandma mem Nana Abuela, how she
took care of Grandpa Pops, Granddad Abuelo. I think about that,
(18:47):
and maybe that is why she got courted the way
that she did. You can't expect me to court you
and to chase you and to treat you like the
old school. But then when it comes time for you
to do your duty as old school, Oh now it's
your modern because now it's time for you to be
held accountable. We can't do that. We have to stop
(19:09):
doing that. That's a problem. Either you want old school
or you don't. You can't hokey pokey. I got my
left foot in, I got my left foot out. I
got my left foot in. No, which one is it?
Do you want to modern? Do you want traditional? Right?
You guys want to blend of the two. But whatever
(19:29):
is advantageous talking to women. Whichever is advantageous for you.
And that's the wrong answer. That is why we have
these movements with men saying forget relationships because they are
not beneficial to men. That is where that comes from.
Because it's damned if you do damned if you don't like,
(19:50):
which one do you want? You're not going to say
you want traditional, but then put in the modern twists
when it's time for you to step up to Because
you wanted me to prove to you that I was
able to establish myself. You know, have a household, run
a household, take care of a family, be respectful, be chivalrous,
(20:12):
all of this stuff. Okay, cool, I got it. I
did my part. Now it's time for you to show
your part. And oh, well, you know when men should also? No, no, no,
no no. When do we get to the part about
what you're supposed to do, not what you want to do,
what you're supposed to do because you're talking in men
(20:34):
are supposed to do this. Men are supposed to do that.
The language, words matter, the language is different. So that's
really important, and that's why we have the movement. I
am not necessarily a fifty to fifty person. Again, that
is for me and my partner to discuss. I'm more
(20:59):
of a you know, I'll take care of everything. Don't
worry about it. I'll take care of everything. You take
care of me, me and the family. Right. So it's
like a house, right, we're the owners of the house.
I'm the owner of the house, speaker, And I only
(21:19):
say that because it is my responsibility, my responsibility as
the guy to make sure that this house does not
get foreclosed on, that the water is always running, that
the electricity is always going that we have a home
to come to that is safe and that you can
(21:39):
walk through that door every night and feel safe, secure
as long, and the children as well. Right, So you know,
officially both names are on the deed to the house,
but at the end of the day, it is my responsibility.
You're the general manager. You're the you're the COO, the
(22:02):
director of operations. You make sure everything inside the house
is working. Hey, the spicket is broken. The faucet is broken.
You need to get that. We need to get that fixed. Okay,
I get that fixed. Hey, we need to go grocery shopping.
There's no food here, all right. Cool, let's go take
the trash out. Okay, Cool, let's go the This light
(22:23):
is flickering. We need to get a new ballast. We
need to get new light bulbs. We need to get
this the flooring. I want to do this. I want
to decorate. Cool. You're the general manager. That's what I
see the role of a woman as being. That's not
making you a slave, that's not making you below me.
That is a that is team work. Like I'm making
(22:46):
sure that everything is cool. Financially for us to exist here,
there's work that goes into that I know you just
see a motherfucker leave every day and come back home
and think, oh, that's easy. Now there's shit I gotta
deal with. And I can't tell these people screw you
because I have a family to think about. I make
sure that you all are good to go, right, So
(23:09):
I don't when we bring together one hundred percent and
one hundred percent because you got bills, y'all be acting
like y'all don't. Y'all don't come to relationships with bills
and things hanging over your head. We bring together one
hundred percent to cut those tasks in half right now,
either we're cutting that in half financially, or we're cutting
(23:32):
that in half through sharing of chores and responsibilities. I
am not I repeat, I am not going to continue
to do one hundred percent of the respect of the
financial responsibilities and one hundred percent of the home and
(23:54):
maintenance responsibilities. That's just not happening. That's just not happening,
and that it's insane to even think that a person
would think that that's okay, Like, how can you think
that that's okay? So I understand the fifty to fifty
thing you should want, you should want to contribute to
(24:17):
your relationship. However it needs to be done, whether that
is financially, whether that is taking care of stuff at home,
you should want to do that. You want to be
in a relationship. It is your responsibility for making that
other person feel comfortable and making that person feel you know, happy, cool.
(24:43):
If not. If you don't want to do that, then
stay by yourself. It's that easy, right. We can't. We can't.
I don't understand the want to be in a relationship
and then you have the responsibilities that come with one,
and then you can't answer the bill. Then you just
stay single. Stay single, and you don't have to worry
(25:03):
about a man, you don't have to worry about a woman,
and you pay one hundred percent of your bills. That's independent. Congratulations,
you're an adult. That's another reason why I hate the
independent thing. Oh I'm an independent woman. Like, I don't
give a shit if you are, Like, why why is
that important to me? Just say that you're forty, and
(25:27):
I assume you take care of everything. I assume you
pay for all of your bills. That's an assumption. I mean,
I give you that. I don't want an award because
I do it. I don't Oh, I'm an independent man.
What what what? I'm an adult? So that's what adults do.
(25:49):
You don't depend on anybody. I don't need an award
for that. But yeah, the fifty to fifty thing is
really driving me wild because I don't understand the problem
with going fifty to fifty in a relationship. Now you
may not, and so there's men out there who don't
do it, and there's men that want to do it,
(26:10):
and there's women that are willing to do that. You
have to speak to your significant other, have conversation, talk,
communicate and see what this other person needs from you
in order to be happy, in order to be complete,
(26:32):
in order not to be complete like with themselves. But
in this relationship, that's just the conversation needs to be
had all the time, not just that day one. Shit,
you can have that conversation every single day. Are you
good today? Are you straight? Because things happen that people
become unhappy, people are not happy with So what do
(26:52):
we do? We communicate about it? But yeah, fifty to
fifty would you do it? What your thoughts going fifty
to fifty in relationship? Everyone has an opinion, but that
and everyone not everyone is going to share it, or
they're being they're afraid of being different. I guess I
don't know, but yeah, I want to hear your thoughts on,
(27:17):
you know, going fifty to fifty in relationships, in what
you think. This has been the Felix Black Show podcast
fifty to fifty in Relationships. I'll see y'all in the
next video, if not live, then recorded on YouTube. Y'all
have a good one.
What am I talking about today? I'm talking about going
fifty to fifty in a relationship and why we have
such an issue just in general with that. Can someone
explain to me? Hold on, explain to me what is
(00:35):
the issue with fifty to fifty? Like, what is wrong
with that? Okay? I don't see an issue with fifty
to fifty. I will say this to begin with. I
don't see an issue with people running their relationships how
they see fit. That's first and foremost. Okay. But we
(00:57):
live in a microwave age and instant gratification age. Hey,
a social media streaming age. I am Felix Black. This
is the Feelings Black Podcast. So I'm one of those people.
I'm not above it. Where we share our opinion across
the internet. We are able to get advice from across
(01:17):
the internet, and you see the wide ranging opinions of
people that are out there. It's it's people's opinion range.
Everything you can think of, right, nothing is impossible with
people walking this planet. So there's a I don't know
(01:40):
if there's still a movement, but there. You know, there
was a movement at one time, and it's the red
pill movement. For so many years, men have felt like
we were second fiddle in relationships, specifically marriages. I don't
(02:03):
know who came up with the concept of marriage. You know,
I was giving this world. I didn't make it. It
was already here before I got here. Okay, So the
concept of marriage was already there there. Just started a
movement of men focusing on themselves before focusing on getting
(02:24):
married and having children. That's just the way that we're evolving, right.
We are accepting a lot more in society today than
we did yesterday, and it will continue to move forward. Right, So,
the red Pill movement is spearheading men, don't knock your
(02:47):
own value. Don't beat yourself up for not being millionaires
at age age teen, at age eighteen. Don't beat yourself
up for failing. Don't beat yourself up for not being
able to find a partner within societal norms. What society
says is the norm for finding someone to marry and
(03:11):
to be with. That's what the red Pill movement is
given with, you know, a little bit more emphasis. The
red Pill movement is not supposed to be an attack
on women. Is not supposed to be. It's supposed to
be informative to men about knowing your worth and re
(03:33):
establishing yourself and your foundation. And I've always said, and
like I will continue to say in all of my videos,
I support the red Pill movement. I do the positive
version of it, not the negative overly over I don't
want to say overly masculine, but the degrading part of it, right,
(03:54):
the ones that say, you know, women ain't ish, relationships
aren't ish, They're not worth it. You know, I'm gonna
do the I'm gonna do the censorship because I do
want to put this on YouTube, and they do try
to flag videos for multiple curses. But so if I'm
a little PG rated, that's why I'm not with the
(04:15):
overly men shouldn't be in relationships. I don't know. I
disagree with that. I don't think it's a gender thing.
I think it's a personal thing. Some men like to
be in relationships and that works for them. Some women
(04:37):
like to be in relationships and that works for them,
and vice versa. Some men like to be in relationships.
They just haven't had any good luck. Okay, that happens.
What do you mean, it happens, same thing with women.
It happens. So there's nothing wrong with trying. There's nothing
wrong with failing in a relationship. Understand what a relationship is.
(05:00):
It's two strangers, two complete strangers, coming together to try
to coexist for all of eternity. Now, I don't care
if you were together for eighty five years, one hundred years.
You will never fully know the person at your side.
(05:21):
You will never fully know because it's impossible. You will
only know what that person shares with you. Now, you
will learn their habits. Going forward, you will learn more
about them. But it still it still remains that even
after years, things come out about people's partners that they
(05:42):
had no idea right because people hide things. That's it.
So you could be with someone forever and not truly
know who they are. And you know that is a
that's a relationship, to complete strangers coming together trying to coexist.
That's why, that's why it's so difficult, because studies have
(06:06):
shown that even two people brought up in the same
environment with no variables, think, feel, act, respond differently. That's
just I mean, that's just it. That's what happens. So
(06:26):
imagine having someone of a complete opposite gender or same gender.
It's your relationship with and you guys are now sharing
the life together. You know that's tough. So now you
have the blue pill movement. The blue pill is counteracting
the red obviously, and the blue pill is you know,
(06:49):
women empowerment. Women are awesome, and women are great. It's
the men who need to step up. So it was
created in in opposite to the red pill movement. Men
need to step up. You should be doing this for
your woman Xyz, to take care of her, make sure
(07:10):
she's safe, protected, whatever she needs emotionally to feel emotionally secure,
physically secure with you in a relationship, financially secure, with
you in a relationship. You should be doing That's essentially
with the blue pill is. Now there are men that
are in the blue pill movement. There are men that
(07:30):
produce a lot of blue pill content. So that's why
I said, even though there's a red pill movement and
it's a lot of men empowerment and men should be
doing you know, men are the leaders, men are the protectors.
It's the woman who should be taking care of him, cooking, cleaning,
stuff like that. I understand both sides said this before,
(07:56):
say it again right because again this is the foundation
for my videos, for my content Felix Black Show podcasts.
Both sides can improve. I'm a man, so I'm obviously
I'm gonna go with the red Pill movement that us men,
(08:20):
we are worth way more than society will let us
to believe, Okay, and we need to establish ourselves. And
once we establish ourselves, we are now the cornerstone. We
are now the top dog, the leader in that relationship. Yes,
I wholeheartedly believe that. The reason why we've got we
(08:40):
have a lot of masculine women, the modern woman, who
don't want to act like Grandma, Nana who else? This
is some other words for grandma, bol me ma. Right,
The reason why they don't want to act like that
is because they haven't felt thatecurity from the men in
(09:02):
their lives. I'm not gonna say from men, from the
men in their lives. We have to remember that because
we take our small sample size of experience with people. Right,
you might have had let's say you've had ten partners,
(09:23):
boyfriend's girlfriends. There's seven billion people walking the planet. Split
that in half. That's just being generous. So that's three
point five billion men and women, give or take a
couple hundred million, right, give or take. So you've dated
(09:47):
ten people and there's two point five billion other men
and women out there. That's such a small sample size.
So this is the people that you've run into, people
have I've run into. So we're making this conscious effort
to write the ship, if you will, because we need
(10:09):
each other. Men are better than women. Women aren't better
than men. We compliment each other, the ying and the
yang a puzzle piece. We fit together. That's the way
it's supposed to be, right, Not a carbon copy of
one self. You shouldn't want a carbon copy of yourself
(10:31):
in the other sex like to be your partner. You
should want someone who fits together, who compliments you. That's
where we get to the fifty to fifty. It seems
to be the fifty to fifty is such a bad
thing in dating. Women want men to do Women want
(10:52):
men to pay one hundred percent of everything, bills, mortgage.
Do women actually want that or are we just saying that?
And if he's paying one what is your contribution? I
(11:15):
need to know what that is because you cannot tell me.
You cannot tell me that you're working. If he's paying
one hundred percent of everything, okay, and he's working, obviously
he makes money somehow, So you're working now? What what
(11:40):
is your role? That is the question we need to define.
It's easy for everyone to define the man's role. It's
just it's like on to repeat. It's easy. Just throw
it out there. Provide to take care of his wallman
to make sure da da Okay, cool, got it. What's
(12:00):
the woman's roll? Love? What like? What's her role? What
is that going to be? You have to define that
for me. What is the problem with paying fifty to fifty?
If you're paying one hundred percent by yourself, okay, follow
(12:25):
me on that. You're paying one hundred percent of your
own apartment, to your own house, your own car, insurance, electric, cable, internet,
you're paying one hundred percent of that right now? So
is he? And I only you know, I'm only talking
(12:47):
to women because I think they are more against the
fifty to fifty than the men are. If that's wrong,
let me know in the comments section. From what I've seen,
usually it's about forty percent of men do the fifty
to fifty thing. It's probably ten percent of women that
are okay with doing fifty to fifty. That's from you know,
(13:09):
my research, my numbers. Why are they? Why are you
so opposed I'm gonna say them, why are you Cause
I'm talking to the woman that doesn't want to do
fifty to fifty and again I'm asking the question. I'm
arguing for both sides. I just want to know the answer,
and please don't DM me. Just put the answer on
(13:30):
the video. Please, thank you. I appreciate that. What is
the problem with fifty to fifty when you are you're
paying one hundred percent by yourself at the moment. Okay,
so you're paying one hundred percent, fifty fifty gives you
(13:53):
fifty percent of your wages back into your pocket. So
he is helping you financially. He is. Just because he's
not paying one hundred percent of all of your bills
does not mean he's not helping you financially. Why is
(14:15):
it that fifty percent is not enough? You're contributing to
a household? Okay, Now, I know the argument usually against
fifty to fifty is, well, you know, he expects me
to work, cook and clean and all of that type
of stuff. I mean, yeah, but at the end of
the day, men cook too. It may be in the
(14:38):
form of grilling, it may be in the form of
getting food to take out to go. I mean, that's
not cooking in the natural sense, but that's making sure
you have food to eat. Because let's be honest, even
though we may say we want y'all to cook, y'all
not cooking every night, we understand that. We get that.
(14:59):
I hope as men get that. I get that. So
you're not even cooking every night. Cleaning, I mean you're
you're naturally going to clean up behind yourself. That's just
how we do as human beings. We clean up behind ourselves.
You can't. I mean if you if you have a
(15:19):
guy who's not cleaning up behind him. So that's that's
not that's not a man thing, that's a hymn thing,
because again, there are plenty of men and women who
clean up behind themselves with no problem. Okay, So I
hate to put that on all men and all women.
That's not true. That's a hymn or her thing. But
(15:41):
we're already doing that. We're already picking up stuff that
are around the house, toys or whatever that's in the way,
rearranging stuff. Now are we Are we always going to
be deep cleaning the walls? No, that is that what
you mean by cleaning? Clean out therigerator? Yeah, clean out
(16:01):
the garage. Yeah, I mean that's cleaning, that's organizing the house.
So we're already working, we're already paying all the bills
we assist around the house. Does that constitute you then
(16:30):
being a homemaker staying at home cooking and cleaning. I mean,
I don't understand what the issue is with that. If
you're going fifty to fifty, that means you're working, right,
So when you get off work, we're still sharing those tasks,
We're still sharing those house chores. It has to be done.
(16:57):
So why has a man looked at Why has a
man looked at any differently? If he's talking fifty to fifty, right,
we're not talking about we're not talking about a date here,
a first date, Okay, I meant and men are supposed
to pay for that, right, I get that. Now if
we're going on six seven dates, hold on, like we
need to start doing something different again. I'm not going
(17:18):
to be paying for you to go out to eat
six or seven times. And you're talking about like you
don't feel safe, you don't want to come over to
the house or do anything different, like miss me with that.
That's bs and you know it. But fifty to fifty
is still cutting our expenses as an individual in half.
So you're not financially supporting me. You are complimenting me
(17:43):
now if you're paying most of the bills and I'm not. Now,
you know, I feel some type of way about that
because I feel that you know, we're supposed to We're
supposed to at least be half, if not more, No
more if not half. Maybe I said that incorrectly, more
if not half. But what's the big deal with with
(18:04):
with fifty to fifty? I mean, I don't understand the
problem with that inside of a household because I think
it's always you want to be part of a team.
You want to use the word team. We need to
stop using these these terms and these thought processes when
it benefits us. I want an old school love. I
want to be courted. I want to be taking out,
I want to be chased. Got all of that, Well,
(18:24):
what's the old school of you know, like our grandparents
used to do? Okay, So when I think about that,
I think about how Grandma mem Nana Abuela, how she
took care of Grandpa Pops, Granddad Abuelo. I think about that,
(18:47):
and maybe that is why she got courted the way
that she did. You can't expect me to court you
and to chase you and to treat you like the
old school. But then when it comes time for you
to do your duty as old school, Oh now it's
your modern because now it's time for you to be
held accountable. We can't do that. We have to stop
(19:09):
doing that. That's a problem. Either you want old school
or you don't. You can't hokey pokey. I got my
left foot in, I got my left foot out. I
got my left foot in. No, which one is it?
Do you want to modern? Do you want traditional? Right?
You guys want to blend of the two. But whatever
(19:29):
is advantageous talking to women. Whichever is advantageous for you.
And that's the wrong answer. That is why we have
these movements with men saying forget relationships because they are
not beneficial to men. That is where that comes from.
Because it's damned if you do damned if you don't like,
(19:50):
which one do you want? You're not going to say
you want traditional, but then put in the modern twists
when it's time for you to step up to Because
you wanted me to prove to you that I was
able to establish myself. You know, have a household, run
a household, take care of a family, be respectful, be chivalrous,
(20:12):
all of this stuff. Okay, cool, I got it. I
did my part. Now it's time for you to show
your part. And oh, well, you know when men should also? No, no, no,
no no. When do we get to the part about
what you're supposed to do, not what you want to do,
what you're supposed to do because you're talking in men
(20:34):
are supposed to do this. Men are supposed to do that.
The language, words matter, the language is different. So that's
really important, and that's why we have the movement. I
am not necessarily a fifty to fifty person. Again, that
is for me and my partner to discuss. I'm more
(20:59):
of a you know, I'll take care of everything. Don't
worry about it. I'll take care of everything. You take
care of me, me and the family. Right. So it's
like a house, right, we're the owners of the house.
I'm the owner of the house, speaker, And I only
(21:19):
say that because it is my responsibility, my responsibility as
the guy to make sure that this house does not
get foreclosed on, that the water is always running, that
the electricity is always going that we have a home
to come to that is safe and that you can
(21:39):
walk through that door every night and feel safe, secure
as long, and the children as well. Right, So you know,
officially both names are on the deed to the house,
but at the end of the day, it is my responsibility.
You're the general manager. You're the you're the COO, the
(22:02):
director of operations. You make sure everything inside the house
is working. Hey, the spicket is broken. The faucet is broken.
You need to get that. We need to get that fixed. Okay,
I get that fixed. Hey, we need to go grocery shopping.
There's no food here, all right. Cool, let's go take
the trash out. Okay, Cool, let's go the This light
(22:23):
is flickering. We need to get a new ballast. We
need to get new light bulbs. We need to get
this the flooring. I want to do this. I want
to decorate. Cool. You're the general manager. That's what I
see the role of a woman as being. That's not
making you a slave, that's not making you below me.
That is a that is team work. Like I'm making
(22:46):
sure that everything is cool. Financially for us to exist here,
there's work that goes into that I know you just
see a motherfucker leave every day and come back home
and think, oh, that's easy. Now there's shit I gotta
deal with. And I can't tell these people screw you
because I have a family to think about. I make
sure that you all are good to go, right, So
(23:09):
I don't when we bring together one hundred percent and
one hundred percent because you got bills, y'all be acting
like y'all don't. Y'all don't come to relationships with bills
and things hanging over your head. We bring together one
hundred percent to cut those tasks in half right now,
either we're cutting that in half financially, or we're cutting
(23:32):
that in half through sharing of chores and responsibilities. I
am not I repeat, I am not going to continue
to do one hundred percent of the respect of the
financial responsibilities and one hundred percent of the home and
(23:54):
maintenance responsibilities. That's just not happening. That's just not happening,
and that it's insane to even think that a person
would think that that's okay, Like, how can you think
that that's okay? So I understand the fifty to fifty
thing you should want, you should want to contribute to
(24:17):
your relationship. However it needs to be done, whether that
is financially, whether that is taking care of stuff at home,
you should want to do that. You want to be
in a relationship. It is your responsibility for making that
other person feel comfortable and making that person feel you know, happy, cool.
(24:43):
If not. If you don't want to do that, then
stay by yourself. It's that easy, right. We can't. We can't.
I don't understand the want to be in a relationship
and then you have the responsibilities that come with one,
and then you can't answer the bill. Then you just
stay single. Stay single, and you don't have to worry
(25:03):
about a man, you don't have to worry about a woman,
and you pay one hundred percent of your bills. That's independent. Congratulations,
you're an adult. That's another reason why I hate the
independent thing. Oh I'm an independent woman. Like, I don't
give a shit if you are, Like, why why is
that important to me? Just say that you're forty, and
(25:27):
I assume you take care of everything. I assume you
pay for all of your bills. That's an assumption. I mean,
I give you that. I don't want an award because
I do it. I don't Oh, I'm an independent man.
What what what? I'm an adult? So that's what adults do.
(25:49):
You don't depend on anybody. I don't need an award
for that. But yeah, the fifty to fifty thing is
really driving me wild because I don't understand the problem
with going fifty to fifty in a relationship. Now you
may not, and so there's men out there who don't
do it, and there's men that want to do it,
(26:10):
and there's women that are willing to do that. You
have to speak to your significant other, have conversation, talk,
communicate and see what this other person needs from you
in order to be happy, in order to be complete,
(26:32):
in order not to be complete like with themselves. But
in this relationship, that's just the conversation needs to be
had all the time, not just that day one. Shit,
you can have that conversation every single day. Are you
good today? Are you straight? Because things happen that people
become unhappy, people are not happy with So what do
(26:52):
we do? We communicate about it? But yeah, fifty to
fifty would you do it? What your thoughts going fifty
to fifty in relationship? Everyone has an opinion, but that
and everyone not everyone is going to share it, or
they're being they're afraid of being different. I guess I
don't know, but yeah, I want to hear your thoughts on,
(27:17):
you know, going fifty to fifty in relationships, in what
you think. This has been the Felix Black Show podcast
fifty to fifty in Relationships. I'll see y'all in the
next video, if not live, then recorded on YouTube. Y'all
have a good one.
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