August 20, 2025 • 17 mins
In this episode of the Felix Black Show, we break down the controversial Hypergamy Theory — the idea that women naturally “date up” in status, money, and power. Is hypergamy biology, culture, or just an internet myth?
👉 Why women look for men with higher status
👉 How social media makes hypergamy stronger
👉 What it means for modern men in the dating market
Join the debate and drop your thoughts in the comments!
👉 Why women look for men with higher status
👉 How social media makes hypergamy stronger
👉 What it means for modern men in the dating market
Join the debate and drop your thoughts in the comments!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
The hypergamy theory. Let's get into it. This is our
video for today. Then we're gonna get into Q and
A after all of that. The hypergamy theory. What is it?
It comes from sociology and anthropology, meaning marrying or marrying
or dating up. The word hypergamy literally means dating up. Traditionally,
(00:33):
it's the idea that women prefer partners of higher status, wealth,
or social standing than themselves. In modern dating, it gets
extended to things like dating someone taller, richer, older, more powerful,
and seeking a partner who has greater access to resources, protection,
(00:55):
or prestige. The hypergamy theory, so again, speaking as a
high value man, that is what women say that they
want nowadays. If you don't want a high value man,
please let me know in the chat and let me
know what it is you like in your partner. The
high value man, well, who is he? Single? Obviously right,
(01:21):
makes one hundred k, doesn't have any children, has a job,
has his own he lives on his own in an apartment,
in a home, has his own vehicle, has his own responsibilities,
is responsible, is honorable, is emotionally intelligent. However, he is
(01:41):
not perfect, because no one is perfect right, But as
far as access to resources, social status, power, right, he
checks all the blocks. That's the high value man. The
hypergamy theory is simply saying this is what women want it.
That's true, Like, that's what it's based on. Right, women
(02:04):
are gonna tell you that it's Oh no, it's it's
about the personal the inside that matters. Is he a
good guy? Yeah, that stuff matters once he checks those
other blocks, right, if I come to you, And I've
done this plenty of times when I was younger, when
I didn't have my own when I was still you know,
(02:25):
making fake paperwork for my insurance in my car, right
because I couldn't afford to pay it. Uh yeah, I
didn't have the money, I didn't have my own place, right,
so I didn't necessarily get the woman that I wanted
at that time. And so now that things have reversed,
(02:48):
and that's not even my focus anymore, I swear it.
People act like that's all men do is chase all
day every day. You know, we got other shit going on.
We got other things that we have to do that
we want to do. If he is truly that high
value guy. Okay, so what are the origins of hypergamy.
(03:11):
The term originally comes from India's cast system, where hypergamy
referred to women marrying men from a higher caste. Anthropologists
noticed similar patterns in many societies where women were encouraged
or expected to secure upward mobility through marriage. Okay, In
(03:34):
evolutionary psychology, the idea is tied to survival. Women historically
benefited from choosing mates with more resources and protection. Please
tell me if I'm lying, because this is literally modern dating. However,
it can be misconstrued into gold digging. So there is
(03:57):
the question that I want to pose to chat and
to leave in the comments section on this video. Is
it natural? Is it innate in women to want to
seek a man who is bigger, faster, stronger, with more
resources or is that simply gold digging? Is it simply that?
And what differentiates the two? How do you differentiate a
(04:20):
woman who wants a man who has his own who
is responsible, who is honorable, and who can afford his
own lifestyle, who can take care of himself which means
he can take care of a family, versus someone who
just wants a guy in Louis Vatan and Gucci driving
the Mayback driving a range rover. What differentiates the two?
(04:40):
So what's the modern application? Today? Hypergamy is discussed in
dating culture like this. Financial hypergamy women wanting men who
make more money. Is it okay if you make more
than me? Are you still attract to me? If you
(05:02):
make more money than I I do? We have social hypergamy.
Women prefer men with influence, ambition, or social clout. Let's
just say I'm an introvert. I don't like to go
out much. I don't have any ambition to be the
CEO of a company. I'm cool working a nine to five.
I may work at Walmart. I may, you know, be
(05:26):
a cable a cable install guy. I may do HIVAC right,
which are fine jobs. However, I don't have any ambition
to move up the ladder. I just want to stay
where I'm at. I'm comfortable, I'm cool here. I don't
want to be management. I don't want any of those responsibilities.
Is that attractive to you? As a woman? Physical hypergamy
(05:49):
choosing taller, stronger, and more dominant partners. With social media,
dating apps and globalization, the dating pool has expanded, making
comparison and sharper A woman in a small town might
once compare local men. Now she sees celebrities, athletes, and
higher status men worldwide on Instagram. I've said this before
(06:12):
when we talk about the old school love and grandma
and grandpa, great grandma, great grandpa. They didn't have apps.
They weren't connected. They weren't able to go and see
men in Spain, women in Brazil, women in France, men
in China or South Korea. They weren't able to do that,
(06:32):
so they were limited to what are always What's the
place I always called Tripod Texas? So Tripod Texas has
a population of fifty thousand. Okay, So if I don't
have any apps and I'm not traveling like that, it's
the nineteen thirties, nineteen forties, How am I meeting people
(06:58):
outside of my local town? Do I know what's out there?
Do I know exactly what I want, what I expect
from a partner. I'm not saying they didn't know that.
I'm just saying it was easier when you didn't have
apps that connected us globally. Globalization. So the debates and
(07:19):
what are the debates and criticism about the hypergamy theory?
This is where it gets controversial. So this is. This
is our discussion piece for Tonight supporters. Often in red Pill,
supporters of the hypergamy argue hypergamy is biologically ingrained. It's
(07:42):
natural women won't date down long term. They'll leave if
they think they can do better. It explains why women
are less satisfied when they out earn their partner. Okay, critics,
hypergamy oversimplifies female attraction. Is that true? Right? Are you
(08:06):
guys being reduced to physical traits when it's more than that.
Let me know, let's talk about it. Many women value
emotional connection, humor, and shared values over money status. I
can agree with that. However, I'm saying you value that
once you see he's a man of a certain status.
(08:30):
You don't want that from Rodney without a job. Right,
So you want a man that works. Does it matter
where he works, does it matter what he does, or
does it just matter that he works? In modern times,
women also achieve their own resources and status, reducing the
(08:54):
need for hypergamy. This is an interesting point right here.
So it's saying women are now earning, women are now
getting their bag, They're doing their own thing, so they
don't need a man. Thank you for the subscription. I
appreciate it. They don't need a man to do those
things for them. It's easier. It's easy to say that.
(09:17):
But again, you're getting your own bag. But does Rodney
without a without a Stanley without a job, have a
chance with you. Let's be honest. If he doesn't, he doesn't.
Right if he does, say that too. Cultural example celebrities.
Celebrities often date marry other high status people, other actors, athletes, musicians.
(09:43):
It's always news when you see someone who's famous, like
me Felix, and I date someone who isn't famous. I'm
still with the person I went to high school with. Right.
I don't know why that is such a big deal.
I would you would think you would want to stick
with your day one, the person who was with you
shooting a gym, who helps you achieve your level of success.
(10:07):
You would think that that's cool. But when we see
celebrities dating regular people, we're always amazed by that. Hypergamists
upward marriage Historically think of queens or noble women marrying
kings or wealthier rulers. Modern dating apps studies show women
(10:29):
tend to swipe right on men they perceive as higher
status or more attractive reinforcing the hypergamy idea. I want
to go back to the hypergamists upward marriage. When we
talk about kings and queens, Kings create queens. If you're
(10:52):
a queen and you get married back in the day,
you know, in this setting, you're the husband now owns
the lands, the rights, and stuff like that, right that
he now owns that, so that rarely happened. Kings create queens.
(11:13):
So we have to if you're gonna use the word king,
treat me like a king. Understand what you're saying. Kings
create queens. That's just the way that it is. I'm
not saying anything's wrong with that. I'm just reinforcing that
that that's what happened. And so this is why I'm
also aiming at the men. We need to get back
(11:37):
to that king shit. We need to get back on
our king stuff. We cannot expect queens, We cannot expect
women to offer themselves to us if we don't have
what we're supposed to have in order. Like that's the
way that it's supposed to go, right, I think for
(12:00):
a few years, unfortunately, men have not stepped up, and
so women did what they have to do understandable. Women
did what they have to do. But understand now that
you know there are some of us who are we're
coming back right, we're coming back with there's still some
of us out here that's just like whoa like. You
(12:22):
can chill, you can relax, make sure y'll hit the
like button. You can relax because I'm him I'm Heymothy,
I'm Himothy. I check all those blocks. So now you
can chill. You can you can bask in your femininity
if that's the way you want to say it, because
you have a person who who can handle all that.
(12:46):
And a lot of times y'all derail that or y'all
f that up by saying, prove it to me, prove
it to you. How so you just want to you
just want me to come in fully functional, fully ready
to go, and you just want to sit back and
(13:07):
you want to pick at what I'm doing. Oh, he's
not a leader because he didn't make this right decision.
We're not We're not always going to make the right decision,
but I'm willing to make that decision. I'm willing to
stand on it. That's the difference. Okay, implications for men
(13:28):
here we go chat these are questions for check These
are questions for comments on the video that's going to
go on YouTube. Okay? Our men pressure to level up
constantly in order to be attractive? I'll say that again.
Are men pressured to level up constantly to be attractive?
(13:55):
If I'm stagnant? Am I less attractive? But if I'm
I'm going for that promotion, if I'm studying for that degree,
does that make me more attractive? Because I'm still trying
to achieve upward movement? But at what point can I peak?
At what point can I peak and be like I'm
(14:16):
cool here? Or does someone else set that for me?
I disagree, I set when I'm happy, I'm cool here? Okay?
Does hypergamy explain why many men feel overlooked in dating?
Why do y'all overlook men in dating? Why do y'all
overlook certain men in dating? Is it because they don't
(14:40):
check those blocks, It's because they're short, it's because of
what they do for a living, it's because they have
no aura? What is it? What are some of the
reasons you overlook men? Or what are some reasons you
are a man feel that you're overlooked in dating? If
women on date up and men want younger, more attractive partners.
(15:04):
Does that create a mismatch in the dating market? Final question,
if women only date up and men want younger, more
attractive partners, does that create a mismatch in the dating market. So,
at the end of the day, the question is for
(15:26):
everyone out there, is hypergamy nature or nurture? Is it natural?
Or is it culturally based? Is it societal? Do modern
women still practice hypergamy? Or has equality change things? Is
it unfair? We're simply human nature that we must that
(15:46):
we're coming to grips with. Now we're putting Now, we're
putting terms, We're putting words provider, protector on these chivalry,
We're putting words on these actions. How does social media
intensify hypergamy? What does social media lend to this theory
(16:12):
that women date up? Finally, can men beat hypergamy by
focusing on self improvement? Are we able? Are we able
to get past that just by focusing on ourselves? So,
(16:33):
at the end of the day, hypergamy isn't only about
gold digging, right, It's about attraction and survival. But the
question is has modern society outgrown it or is it
hardwired into us as humans drop it in the comments. Ladies,
(16:54):
do you admit to dating up anders? Do you think
hypergamy is holding back good men from dating, having partners,
finding partners. Let's talk about it.
The hypergamy theory. Let's get into it. This is our
video for today. Then we're gonna get into Q and
A after all of that. The hypergamy theory. What is it?
It comes from sociology and anthropology, meaning marrying or marrying
or dating up. The word hypergamy literally means dating up. Traditionally,
(00:33):
it's the idea that women prefer partners of higher status, wealth,
or social standing than themselves. In modern dating, it gets
extended to things like dating someone taller, richer, older, more powerful,
and seeking a partner who has greater access to resources, protection,
(00:55):
or prestige. The hypergamy theory, so again, speaking as a
high value man, that is what women say that they
want nowadays. If you don't want a high value man,
please let me know in the chat and let me
know what it is you like in your partner. The
high value man, well, who is he? Single? Obviously right,
(01:21):
makes one hundred k, doesn't have any children, has a job,
has his own he lives on his own in an apartment,
in a home, has his own vehicle, has his own responsibilities,
is responsible, is honorable, is emotionally intelligent. However, he is
(01:41):
not perfect, because no one is perfect right, But as
far as access to resources, social status, power, right, he
checks all the blocks. That's the high value man. The
hypergamy theory is simply saying this is what women want it.
That's true, Like, that's what it's based on. Right, women
(02:04):
are gonna tell you that it's Oh no, it's it's
about the personal the inside that matters. Is he a
good guy? Yeah, that stuff matters once he checks those
other blocks, right, if I come to you, And I've
done this plenty of times when I was younger, when
I didn't have my own when I was still you know,
(02:25):
making fake paperwork for my insurance in my car, right
because I couldn't afford to pay it. Uh yeah, I
didn't have the money, I didn't have my own place, right,
so I didn't necessarily get the woman that I wanted
at that time. And so now that things have reversed,
(02:48):
and that's not even my focus anymore, I swear it.
People act like that's all men do is chase all
day every day. You know, we got other shit going on.
We got other things that we have to do that
we want to do. If he is truly that high
value guy. Okay, so what are the origins of hypergamy.
(03:11):
The term originally comes from India's cast system, where hypergamy
referred to women marrying men from a higher caste. Anthropologists
noticed similar patterns in many societies where women were encouraged
or expected to secure upward mobility through marriage. Okay, In
(03:34):
evolutionary psychology, the idea is tied to survival. Women historically
benefited from choosing mates with more resources and protection. Please
tell me if I'm lying, because this is literally modern dating. However,
it can be misconstrued into gold digging. So there is
(03:57):
the question that I want to pose to chat and
to leave in the comments section on this video. Is
it natural? Is it innate in women to want to
seek a man who is bigger, faster, stronger, with more
resources or is that simply gold digging? Is it simply that?
And what differentiates the two? How do you differentiate a
(04:20):
woman who wants a man who has his own who
is responsible, who is honorable, and who can afford his
own lifestyle, who can take care of himself which means
he can take care of a family, versus someone who
just wants a guy in Louis Vatan and Gucci driving
the Mayback driving a range rover. What differentiates the two?
(04:40):
So what's the modern application? Today? Hypergamy is discussed in
dating culture like this. Financial hypergamy women wanting men who
make more money. Is it okay if you make more
than me? Are you still attract to me? If you
(05:02):
make more money than I I do? We have social hypergamy.
Women prefer men with influence, ambition, or social clout. Let's
just say I'm an introvert. I don't like to go
out much. I don't have any ambition to be the
CEO of a company. I'm cool working a nine to five.
I may work at Walmart. I may, you know, be
(05:26):
a cable a cable install guy. I may do HIVAC right,
which are fine jobs. However, I don't have any ambition
to move up the ladder. I just want to stay
where I'm at. I'm comfortable, I'm cool here. I don't
want to be management. I don't want any of those responsibilities.
Is that attractive to you? As a woman? Physical hypergamy
(05:49):
choosing taller, stronger, and more dominant partners. With social media,
dating apps and globalization, the dating pool has expanded, making
comparison and sharper A woman in a small town might
once compare local men. Now she sees celebrities, athletes, and
higher status men worldwide on Instagram. I've said this before
(06:12):
when we talk about the old school love and grandma
and grandpa, great grandma, great grandpa. They didn't have apps.
They weren't connected. They weren't able to go and see
men in Spain, women in Brazil, women in France, men
in China or South Korea. They weren't able to do that,
(06:32):
so they were limited to what are always What's the
place I always called Tripod Texas? So Tripod Texas has
a population of fifty thousand. Okay, So if I don't
have any apps and I'm not traveling like that, it's
the nineteen thirties, nineteen forties, How am I meeting people
(06:58):
outside of my local town? Do I know what's out there?
Do I know exactly what I want, what I expect
from a partner. I'm not saying they didn't know that.
I'm just saying it was easier when you didn't have
apps that connected us globally. Globalization. So the debates and
(07:19):
what are the debates and criticism about the hypergamy theory?
This is where it gets controversial. So this is. This
is our discussion piece for Tonight supporters. Often in red Pill,
supporters of the hypergamy argue hypergamy is biologically ingrained. It's
(07:42):
natural women won't date down long term. They'll leave if
they think they can do better. It explains why women
are less satisfied when they out earn their partner. Okay, critics,
hypergamy oversimplifies female attraction. Is that true? Right? Are you
(08:06):
guys being reduced to physical traits when it's more than that.
Let me know, let's talk about it. Many women value
emotional connection, humor, and shared values over money status. I
can agree with that. However, I'm saying you value that
once you see he's a man of a certain status.
(08:30):
You don't want that from Rodney without a job. Right,
So you want a man that works. Does it matter
where he works, does it matter what he does, or
does it just matter that he works? In modern times,
women also achieve their own resources and status, reducing the
(08:54):
need for hypergamy. This is an interesting point right here.
So it's saying women are now earning, women are now
getting their bag, They're doing their own thing, so they
don't need a man. Thank you for the subscription. I
appreciate it. They don't need a man to do those
things for them. It's easier. It's easy to say that.
(09:17):
But again, you're getting your own bag. But does Rodney
without a without a Stanley without a job, have a
chance with you. Let's be honest. If he doesn't, he doesn't.
Right if he does, say that too. Cultural example celebrities.
Celebrities often date marry other high status people, other actors, athletes, musicians.
(09:43):
It's always news when you see someone who's famous, like
me Felix, and I date someone who isn't famous. I'm
still with the person I went to high school with. Right.
I don't know why that is such a big deal.
I would you would think you would want to stick
with your day one, the person who was with you
shooting a gym, who helps you achieve your level of success.
(10:07):
You would think that that's cool. But when we see
celebrities dating regular people, we're always amazed by that. Hypergamists
upward marriage Historically think of queens or noble women marrying
kings or wealthier rulers. Modern dating apps studies show women
(10:29):
tend to swipe right on men they perceive as higher
status or more attractive reinforcing the hypergamy idea. I want
to go back to the hypergamists upward marriage. When we
talk about kings and queens, Kings create queens. If you're
(10:52):
a queen and you get married back in the day,
you know, in this setting, you're the husband now owns
the lands, the rights, and stuff like that, right that
he now owns that, so that rarely happened. Kings create queens.
(11:13):
So we have to if you're gonna use the word king,
treat me like a king. Understand what you're saying. Kings
create queens. That's just the way that it is. I'm
not saying anything's wrong with that. I'm just reinforcing that
that that's what happened. And so this is why I'm
also aiming at the men. We need to get back
(11:37):
to that king shit. We need to get back on
our king stuff. We cannot expect queens, We cannot expect
women to offer themselves to us if we don't have
what we're supposed to have in order. Like that's the
way that it's supposed to go, right, I think for
(12:00):
a few years, unfortunately, men have not stepped up, and
so women did what they have to do understandable. Women
did what they have to do. But understand now that
you know there are some of us who are we're
coming back right, we're coming back with there's still some
of us out here that's just like whoa like. You
(12:22):
can chill, you can relax, make sure y'll hit the
like button. You can relax because I'm him I'm Heymothy,
I'm Himothy. I check all those blocks. So now you
can chill. You can you can bask in your femininity
if that's the way you want to say it, because
you have a person who who can handle all that.
(12:46):
And a lot of times y'all derail that or y'all
f that up by saying, prove it to me, prove
it to you. How so you just want to you
just want me to come in fully functional, fully ready
to go, and you just want to sit back and
(13:07):
you want to pick at what I'm doing. Oh, he's
not a leader because he didn't make this right decision.
We're not We're not always going to make the right decision,
but I'm willing to make that decision. I'm willing to
stand on it. That's the difference. Okay, implications for men
(13:28):
here we go chat these are questions for check These
are questions for comments on the video that's going to
go on YouTube. Okay? Our men pressure to level up
constantly in order to be attractive? I'll say that again.
Are men pressured to level up constantly to be attractive?
(13:55):
If I'm stagnant? Am I less attractive? But if I'm
I'm going for that promotion, if I'm studying for that degree,
does that make me more attractive? Because I'm still trying
to achieve upward movement? But at what point can I peak?
At what point can I peak and be like I'm
(14:16):
cool here? Or does someone else set that for me?
I disagree, I set when I'm happy, I'm cool here? Okay?
Does hypergamy explain why many men feel overlooked in dating?
Why do y'all overlook men in dating? Why do y'all
overlook certain men in dating? Is it because they don't
(14:40):
check those blocks, It's because they're short, it's because of
what they do for a living, it's because they have
no aura? What is it? What are some of the
reasons you overlook men? Or what are some reasons you
are a man feel that you're overlooked in dating? If
women on date up and men want younger, more attractive partners.
(15:04):
Does that create a mismatch in the dating market? Final question,
if women only date up and men want younger, more
attractive partners, does that create a mismatch in the dating market. So,
at the end of the day, the question is for
(15:26):
everyone out there, is hypergamy nature or nurture? Is it natural?
Or is it culturally based? Is it societal? Do modern
women still practice hypergamy? Or has equality change things? Is
it unfair? We're simply human nature that we must that
(15:46):
we're coming to grips with. Now we're putting Now, we're
putting terms, We're putting words provider, protector on these chivalry,
We're putting words on these actions. How does social media
intensify hypergamy? What does social media lend to this theory
(16:12):
that women date up? Finally, can men beat hypergamy by
focusing on self improvement? Are we able? Are we able
to get past that just by focusing on ourselves? So,
(16:33):
at the end of the day, hypergamy isn't only about
gold digging, right, It's about attraction and survival. But the
question is has modern society outgrown it or is it
hardwired into us as humans drop it in the comments. Ladies,
(16:54):
do you admit to dating up anders? Do you think
hypergamy is holding back good men from dating, having partners,
finding partners. Let's talk about it.
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