May 21, 2025 • 42 mins
Do you really know what your man needs, thinks, and feels? 🤔 In this eye-opening episode of The Felix Black Show, we break down the emotional and psychological needs of men that often go unnoticed or misunderstood in relationships. From respect and space to support and communication, Felix reveals what men truly want but rarely say out loud. If you're serious about building a strong, lasting connection with your man, this episode is a game-changer. 🔥 What You’ll Learn:
#UnderstandingMen #RelationshipAdvice #FelixBlack #DatingTips #EmotionalConnection #Masculinity #Podcast #ModernRelationships #WhatMenWant
- How to decode a man’s silence and emotional walls
- What makes a man feel valued, respected, and loved
- Why many men pull away—and how to bridge that gap
- Real talk on masculine needs and healthy relationships
#UnderstandingMen #RelationshipAdvice #FelixBlack #DatingTips #EmotionalConnection #Masculinity #Podcast #ModernRelationships #WhatMenWant
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today I'm talking about understanding your man. So I'm talking
to the women. So let's get into this understanding your man.
(00:20):
Men are the simplest species I've ever handled in my life.
No man is difficult. Ignorance is what makes it difficult.
If you want men to fall in love with you
and your fiance slash husband to treat you like the
greatest treasure on earth, you must understand what makes a
man a man, the right buttons to click, and how
(00:42):
to enjoy a sweet, blissful heaven on earth marriage with him.
So this is the premise for this understanding your man.
Let's get into it. Number one, men have first love.
They are passionate about it, and that is his work.
(01:02):
I think is men have a first love, they are
passionate about it, and that is his work. A man
must succeed. Not making progress in life is like being impotent.
He feels castrated. You must understand this age and you
must understand this and give him space to succeed. This
requires time, efforts, focused sleepless nights. To demand he spent
(01:26):
all his waking hours watching romantic movies with you is
to turn him into a perpetual failure, idle ladies who
have nothing sensible doing doing with their lives except disturb
their fiance at work per minute per second to fulfill
their empty life or a big turn off. I'm always
we want not we women want men to be providers.
(01:50):
In order for us to provide for you, we must work.
I am a huge proponent of men working. Absolutely, just
have a damn job, some way of pulling in income. Okay,
that is what we are meant to do. Now, Is
that all that were meant to do? No, but that's
one of the main things we are meant to do
is put in work. One of the negative things about
(02:15):
being a provider is you want to live a certain lifestyle.
I want to be able to provide for myself and
provide for a woman. Women want providers who make money.
Those jobs require time and commitment. So when she says
there's going to be focused and sleepless nights, A successful
(02:37):
man is a busy man. Right. If I'm the CEO
of a company, that's not nine to five. If I'm
a cardiologist a heart surgeon, that's not nine to five.
There's other jobs where you can be successful, but a
lot of times they are. You need to be available
at any time I put in for a I put
(03:01):
in an application to work at Walmart to run one
of their stores. In the application, it says you must
be available twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Now,
I know that that's not absolutely possible, but that's what
they say, and that's to be a store manager and
to run a complete Walmart. Again, I said yesterday, there
(03:25):
is no there is not a problem with being the
fry guy at McDonald's. However, that's a nine to five
and your earning potential is limited unless you continue to
move up. Women, we have to under women. We have
to understand if you want your man to provide, is
going to have to spend time doing that. And that's
(03:49):
why we go into We like a woman who is peaceful.
We like a woman who likes to take care of
the home in the family. It's not because we don't
want to do that stuff. One because we feel it's
innate in you as a woman. And two because while
we're out providing for our family so we can have
a nice home, a nice life, nice food, a nice
(04:10):
time vacation, we don't want to have to worry about that.
We want to be able to work our shift whether
it's five, six, ten, twelve, fifteen hours, we come home
and we don't have to worry about the bullshit. That's
all of that is. That's not to say that you're
not important. You're very important to us, very important to us.
(04:34):
But if you want a provider, if you have a
man who wants to provide for you, we have to work.
We have to work. That becomes I may be a
little bit tired, you may not get all the you know,
the time that you want. Compromises have to be made
if you don't want a level a certain level of provider.
(04:56):
In dating, women say that they want a man who
makes one hundred K. Now a lot of people, that's
not a lot of money. That depends you're not a business.
So once a business wants to give you one hundred
and twenty thousand, you don't know how much work they
want you to do in order to earn that amount.
It's not up to you to decide that one hundred
(05:18):
k isn't a lot if you don't have it, if
you want it, but when you're working for it, Hey,
companies look at a one hundred K spending one hundred
k on one person, is I want to return on
my investment, so you may have to put in some hours.
And so that's all it's saying is that men have
a first love and that's that's our work. So if
you have a man that is working to provide for
(05:40):
you this whole, you know, I'm cheating because I'm not
getting the attention I deserve and you know you're not
here with me, and I'm lonely I'm working. I'm literally
being punished for having a job. How wild is that? Like?
How I don't understand how that can even be an argument.
(06:04):
We should be able to communicate and if possible, we
can make better use of the time. But to cheat
on a man, to not like a man because he
works too much, I know it. People say that sounds ridiculous,
but it's very, very true. It's very true. You enjoy
(06:24):
the lifestyle. You want the man to make one hundred k,
but you want him to be home at four o'clock
every day. It's not how it works. Okay, it's not
how it works. Number Two, men have an ego, Yes
we do. He needs it to He needs it to
be the head of his home and succeed. You must
(06:45):
distinguish between ego and pride. A man with a healthy
ego will listen to you, but firmly and lovingly let
you know his final decision. A man with pride won't
listen to you at all, snob you and treat you
like trash. A man with a healthy ego is not
a dummy. Some women expect their men to take all
of their advice and follow all their instructions. That is
(07:07):
not possible. He can't take everything. He will take the
ones that make sense and put aside the ones that
will land you in trouble. He is the head. You
can't force your ideas on him. You can only advise him.
The final decision lies lies in his hand. Wow wow
(07:28):
number two. Right, it starts off with a man hasn't
men have egos? But what it says here is what
we talk about as men when we say that we're leaders.
And so this is the problem with women who say
you want a leader, but you get mad if he
(07:48):
doesn't take all of your advice, Well then I'm not
a leader. I'm just a Manchurian candidate. I'm a puppet.
I'm not leading. I always say this, leaders, really good
leaders develop. Leaders do not make decisions in a vacuum.
We take input. Just because I take your input doesn't
mean I'm going to use it. It doesn't mean that,
(08:12):
and women have to understand that's not what it means.
I'm taking your input. I value your input because I
know that it's real. But I can choose not to
use it. That doesn't make me a bad leader. And
if I don't choose to use your advice and I
make a mistake, that doesn't make me a bad leader.
So the last thing I want to hear is you
know I told you so. Yo. I'm out here trying
(08:33):
to do the best for you and for me. I
don't want us to fail. I don't want us to fail,
but I make the best decision with the information that
I have at that time. Absolutely, a man with a
(08:55):
healthy ego will listen to you, but firmly and lovingly
let you know it's his final decision when we talk this.
You know you want a leader, but you know you
want to be next to him. Okay, I understand that,
But when women say you want to be next to him,
you want to be just as much of a leader
as he does. No, I'm not fighting you to lead
(09:18):
this family. You need to be by yourself lead your family,
or find you a man who's in beta status who
prefers you to lead him in the family. It's like
driving a car. I my hand is on the wheel,
right passenger, princesses, you love that. You don't like to drive.
You want him to lead you. So wherever I drive
(09:41):
this car is where we're going. It's a relationship. You're
next to me, You're gonna arrive the same time I arrive.
You're supposed to be the navigator. Hey, when's the when's
that next when's the next gas station? How many exits?
You give me that input? Oh shit, the next one
is like the next exit. Now, I think we can
(10:03):
make it like three more, so we're good. I took
your input, but I didn't use it. I took your input,
but I didn't use it. Now, if you say, if
I'm driving along and i'm I'm just coasting, and you're like, hey,
like when you missed the exit, Oh shit, my bad,
I was fucked up. I'm daydreaming. I'm taking your input
(10:26):
because you saw a flaw right there, and so you
came up and you know you made a decision. I'm
not I'm okay with that, but you're still next to me.
We're all going the same location. We're all moving forward,
we're all moving backwards together. When people say fifty, you
(10:48):
want a fifty to fifty leave, but you don't want
a fifty to fifty pay That shit is insane when
we talk about that leadership thing, because people say they
want that leader, they want a man, and then we
get into that situation. They want to water it down,
they want to make little decisions here here, here, and
you start to you start to water it down and
(11:08):
invalidate what you said that you want it. If you
want a leader, you're gonna have to stand back, stand back.
That's just how it is. Stand back. If you don't
have confidence in him as a leader, that's for you
to work on. Either you need to find a way
(11:29):
to gain trust in his leadership or change your leader.
That's what you have to do. If you grab the
wheel with me, we're driving. This is what dual leadership
looks like. You grab the wheel from you. From your purview,
(11:52):
how productive is that? It's not. It's dangerous because I
want to go left, you want to go right. So
what are we doing. We're jockeying for position. We could
end up anywhere, spun out, crash into someone else, because
there's not that final voice that says yes or no
(12:14):
before you designate someone as your leader. I'm never I'm
saying men are leaders and women should follow their leaders.
I'm not saying you should follow anyone. I'm saying pick
your leader with real with This is the word I'm
looking for. Pick your leader accurately. You have your set
(12:36):
of standards, go through your rolodex of this is what
I want, this is this is how he reacts. Yeah,
now I don't want to I don't want to follow him. Yes,
I want to follow him. But when you make that
decision to follow somebody, that's what you're doing. But yes,
we need the advice. Yes, we have an egos. He
(12:58):
should not be pride for he should not be too
prideful to listen to you. Absolutely not, because I'm not
going to choose you if I don't trust what you say,
if I don't value your opinion, and that's very important
to us. So that's why I don't understand when we
get when we get into relationships and you feel men
(13:22):
feel that they can't tell their women those pants don't
look good on you, or you're getting fat. That's communication.
If you tell me that, Okay, damn. If that's a problem,
I gotta work on me, because you know, the person
I want to be with is noticing a change that
she probably doesn't like. That's communication. All communication isn't a
(13:46):
Disney movie. It's not all rainbows and roses. Number three,
men are moved by sight. It's so amazing. So many
ladies are ignorant of this look. If you don't want
that guy to have sexed with you, cover up whenever
you're with him. I don't understand how a sane Christian
sister will go to her fiance's house with a mini
(14:07):
skirt and your laps, and your laps thrown apart right
in front of him. You also wore a low neckline,
and each time you bend, your big mammalian glands are
staring menacingly at him, and you tell him not to
not to do what. I pity men, honestly, the temptation
they face daily. Only the God of Heaven himself understands.
(14:29):
Because women are refusing to understand. In marriage, you must
deliberately make your husband chase you around for sex. Just
one look at some wives and all the sexual desire.
The men has flies right through the window, stinking mouth,
bushy armput torn underwear, ragged smelling wrapper. Yet the man
(14:49):
is surrounded by sweet, smelling, well dressed, tantalizing headswooning babes.
At work. You must keep packaging and repackaging, get transparent
that push the center, the central focus forward, jaw dropping lingerie,
sex triggering perfumes, and blow his imagination off as often
(15:10):
as you can. This is for the married. Absolutely, we
are visual creatures. We like it, we like to look
we do once we settle and so this is one
is for married people. Once we settle on that that's
(15:32):
when we this is the one. This is the one
that I can look at every day. There's a lot
of marriages where y'all start wearing bonnets, full on bullshit pajamas.
And we're talking about just every day, not you know
that certain week. We get that even just walking around
(15:54):
the house make a motherfucker do with double take. It
shouldn't you going out with your girls or us going
out for anniversary For me to see you and be like, damn,
like shorty, think, what are you looking good today? Like
that is a real thing. We are visual. Now that
(16:16):
doesn't mean we're going to jump you every time we
see you, right, that doesn't mean that. But even if
we're watching TV, you get up to go to the
bathroom or you get up to go to the kitchen,
we're looking at you. We are and we are reminded,
(16:38):
like that's me right there, like I'm with her. I
like that. No man should have to search out the
person that he's with. I'm with you for a reason,
like can I can you give me a reason to
want to stay right in here? Stay right in this pocket?
(17:02):
Because like it says, there's sweet smelling, there's sun dresses,
there's shorts that are all that are short as all
can get out. There's a mini skirts over there, but
you got on an ankle link dress every time we
go out, baggy pants what like. Of course, the person
(17:27):
that we have, the person that we're with, has a
level of beauty. We get that. So we still need
a constant reminder. And it doesn't take much. We are
very simple. It doesn't take much. You don't need a
ten thousand dollars piece of Hollywood lingerie from the store
(17:49):
underwearing T shirts. Now, if you are not comfortable wearing that,
that's something maybe that you should work on. You shouldn't
have to cover up for the person that you're with,
so if that's not working, there may be something bigger
at play. We all gain weight. I'm not the same
(18:11):
weight I was when I was younger. We have to
be honest in these relationships before people start stepping out
and doing other things with other people. So yes, I mean,
you might be mad that he says you're gaining some
way you should go to the gym, but that is
him telling you, like, hey, I want you to look good,
(18:36):
and right now you don't look good. There's no really
good way to say that. I'm sorry, Like some things
are a hard truth. But again, if you found the
one that you're with, there should be nothing off limits
to speak about. Nothing. We're moved by sight very much,
(18:58):
so very much so. Men number four. Men want peace
of mind. Nagging, criticizing, shouting, yelling, abusing, and cursing can
destabilize a man. You should minimize it as much as possible,
In fact, stop it all together. Some men may hate
coming home because the troublesome wife will nag the life
(19:20):
out of him till late in the night. Once he
wakes up, she repeats the cycle till he leaves home.
Men like that usually end up with mistresses or second wives.
Men run towards women who give them peace, not shatter
them to pieces. Yeah, being peaceful like that's something that
we don't really recognize as men until we get older.
(19:43):
And like I said, we have jobs. All men should
be working to elevate themselves in a job. Those jobs
are stressful. So the last thing that we want to
do when we walk in the door is to be
met by more issues. Now, I'm not saying that you
have to be quiet and can't share those issues. We
(20:07):
have to learn how to communicate with each other. Me personally,
I need an hour. I need an hour. Usually that
hour can be spent like in the car driving home.
But I don't No one should want to walk in
the door to just problems issues. I get it. If
(20:30):
you're stay at home mom, you've been working all day,
or you know you've been with the children all day,
you've been doing house stuff all day, you have stuff
that you want to share, stuff that you want to
get off your chest. Well, we have to find a
happy medium because men don't like to come home to that.
We like peacefulness, and we get it. If you got
(20:50):
two three kids and they're younger or you know they're
nine ten years old, you're not going to come home
and to be completely silent. So that's usually why we
make a quick detour to chill just a little bit
before we go home, because we know we're gonna have
to deal with that. But as our partner, you can
help us with that because we start that routine. If
(21:12):
we start that routine, I'm retired. And if I had
a woman who worked all day every day, I'm checking
her temperature when she gets home. I'm not gonna bombard
her as soon as she walks in the door. This, that,
and the third because people have long days, Susan from
accounting is getting on your nerves. I get it. And
so the last why didn't you take this out? Why
(21:33):
didn't you do that? This just broke you didn't answer you.
They're like, yo, I don't want to hear that, like
nobody wants to hear that. Peace is a thing people
wonder about loneliness. Now it's peaceful, it's quiet. If I
want a rutgus in here, I can control the rugus.
(21:54):
It's not loneliness. It's called peace and quiet. If I
wanted to, Hey, man, I'm just chilling. Ain't nothing going
on here. It's gonna be that way. Yelling and abusing
and cursing. That's just manly behavior. That's never gonna be
okay coming from women. That's never gonna be okay, never
gonna be okay, not for a certain level. Guy, it's
(22:16):
not we get it. Y'all get upset, and so I
give grace. When women are upset, it's gonna be things
flying around and things said. I get that, but that
shouldn't be part of your regular vernacular. When you're using
curse words. I know you're pissed off. I know, I
(22:36):
know it was one of those days. I get it.
I get it, but I don't want to be hanging
out with one of the guys. I don't want to
do that. And that's how men talk. That's not attractive
in a woman. Number five, men like quality food unless
he didn't give you enough money or he likes it.
(22:57):
Concoction rice with ground pepper, onion, coconut oil, and Magi Maggie.
Maggie is an insult to him. Watery stew that drops
to his elbow while eating is a big bomb on
his head. Soup that looks as if it's been sprinkled
over a pot of water is a big slap in
his face. His money should reflect what you cook. Please
(23:20):
maximize what you have. Treat him like a king. Y'all
know the old adage way to a man's heart is
through his stomach. I'm a person. I don't mind simple food.
I don't need you to go all out and cook
chicken parmesan and beef Wellington's every single night. No, I don't.
I don't necessarily need that. I like simple foods, but
I understand what they're saying. We do like food, and
(23:45):
y'all have seen on social media where women are cooking
like hamburger helper after a dude is working for fourteen hours.
It's just like, did you even make the attempt to
upgrade the cooking? We have to understand something. If you
want to be a stay at home wife, a stay
at home partner mom, that's fine, but we have to
(24:09):
see some results from that. Right. We have the internet
to try some recipes, try to do some stuff that's
gonna expand your abilities rather than just say you're sitting
at home. I mean, I don't expect you to be
a chef, but I expect something better than just regular
(24:31):
oodles and noodles. I can go cook that right now,
hot dogs, unless it's being requested. I'm quick to request
something really, really simple just because I just like simple food.
But that's up to him, right This is part of
comforting him, doing your role to support him. Again. He's
(24:53):
providing for you the way you asked him to, and
so you have to provide for us the way that
we ask you to, not the way that you want
to provide for us. That is important. You have to
listen the way you want us to listen to you
and what you need. You have to listen to us
and what we want and what we need. Too many
(25:14):
times we're giving people well, you know I was doing this,
but you weren't doing it the way that I want
you to do it or I prefer it to be done.
So at the end of the day, you're not doing it.
You're not doing it for me, You're just doing it.
In general, quality food. Think about those menus. We can't
eat spaghetti every night, even if you designate a Sunday
(25:39):
to throw down put your foot in it. You know,
to go crazy with the food. You don't have to
do that every night, but we want to see those
home cooked meals. Sometimes we can. We can get regular
pizza roles anytime. But it's the fact that you are
thinking like that. If I have to be like, nah, nah,
(26:01):
you know what I'm saying. I don't want no beef
Wellington tonight. Just something simple, okay, Like that's that's you
get the night off. You get to throw something, you
get to throw some spaghetti, some shrimp offredo together and
we good to go because I don't I don't need
anything big. It's just it's just a thought process. We
(26:21):
have to be thinking higher and not thinking mid tier
or lower if we want higher higher tier. Men number
six and I was gonna do a show on this
number six too. Men love to be praised candidly. I
love praising men. Praise of man is my natural territory.
(26:42):
When I noticed it, it almost landed me in trouble,
as men keep giving the chase. I stopped it all
together and focused on my husband. If you are a
man praiser, you will never lack a man's love all
your life. You will be pampered, loved, and chairish. I
never at a single man who does not respond to praise. Stingy, selfish,
(27:05):
bitterly critical women who see nothing good in their men
never have lasting marriages. Praise your husband, silly, appreciate his
efforts in your life. Look out for his good qualities
and his song in his ears daily, and sing in
his ears daily. I love praising my husband. It gives
(27:25):
me deep pleasure doing so. He deserves it and enjoys
listening to it. We don't, we don't need it, but
it shows appreciation. Absolutely. It's better than always complaining, because
a lot of things that men do in the provider
role are thankless jobs. The electricity coming on every day,
(27:51):
being able to cook food, being able to get in
a car and drive it, being able to water coming
on us, not being evicted. The average man doesn't get appreciated,
doesn't get thanked for electricity being there. But if we
if it turns off right, you go to throw the switch.
(28:13):
What's the first question you're asking, did you play the
electric bell? See how that form of negativity, if we
always go with the negative, how that affects even our psyche.
It's just we are engineered to overcome a lot of things,
but our cup runneth over also, and negativity is one
(28:37):
of those things where when it comes to a certain point,
you just don't want to deal with it anymore. You
just don't need it anymore. So, yes, praise in certain
ways does benefit him. You're great, thanks for what you do.
I don't mention it now. We may we may just
you know, let it roll off our shoulders. But it's
(28:59):
good to hear that because we know for a fact
we're gonna hear the negative stuff when it happens. We
know that y'all don't hold back when it comes to
the negative, but also balance that out with the positive.
What if I beat you down every day with negative stuff,
you're gonna be like, dang, I can't do nothing right. Dang,
you're always upset with me. Right, But if I give
(29:20):
you just as much praise as I do the negative,
it's a balance. I don't know why women don't like
praising men. It's so hard to praise a man. And
I was gonna do an actual show on just that topic.
I just didn't have a lot to really say. Well,
(29:41):
that's really a real thing. I think it's a little
bit of an entitlement. You know, women are and they
feel entitled to certain things. But we still make the
decision to do that for you all, So thank you
(30:01):
here and there, whether it be verbally, whether it be,
you know, an act of service, whether it be a
combination of the two, cooking something. Hey, I cooked this
for you, Thank you. I was thinking about this and
thought of you. Thank you. You know. Because the world
is rough and so we look for that comfort from
(30:26):
our significant other, they should be you should be our
circle of comfort because outside these doors it's a cruel,
cruel world. Everybody knows that it's hard out there. Imagine
it being hard out there and in here, people just
beating you down. Your boss on your ass, You can't
(30:46):
do nothing right. Come home, your spouse is on your ass,
you can't do nothing right. Like damn, when will it's
end with? Our home should be a sanctuary for us
as well. Absolutely, men love to be praise number six,
So number seven respect him. Ladies who shout at their fiance,
(31:09):
order him around and disgrace him in public. Because she
has a master's degree in international marketing, will stay a
long long time as single before she finds an old
man to marry. You must be humble if you want
to be under any man's roof. Respect is the food
of any every man. Learn to respect your fiance, show
(31:29):
honor to your husband. Saying yes sir whenappropriate won't make
you any less of a woman. Learn how to talk
to a man. Some women just don't know how to talk.
Never correct him in public, don't send him on an
errand in front of his friends. Stop making just of
him in front of children. It's bad. Everybody wants respected
(31:50):
and men are no are no different. I think there
is a there. There's always been a shift as to
treating women with more care and respect as we should.
And you know, men just we just deal with it.
We just take that and it shouldn't have to be
that way. That's the responsibility of women to recognize that
(32:12):
you guys are our comforters. You guys are are the
keepers of love. Like that you have love inside you
that you're ready to give to somebody. That's why you
give little girls dolls when they're younger. They're already caring
for something, right, give them a stroller, a carriage, a
doll to carry. They're already caring for something at really
(32:34):
young ages. And what little boys are usually what destroying, destroying,
git loud and rambunctionous. And you have to corral that energy.
But respect is a really big thing, and we've we've
talked about this on the channel ad nauseum. Right, we're
not even gonna we don't have to get all the
(32:55):
way into that, but that's what they're talking about with
their respect. There's a time and a place for everything,
and if you want to be respected as a woman,
you have to give that treat others how you would
like to be treated as a definition of respect. So
you can't be bombing on me, screaming at me, but
then you want me to ah, not in front of everybody.
(33:19):
I'm gonna give you the same energy you give me,
not in that instance, because it's just not in me
to scream on a woman in public. But you're gonna
you're going to hear about it once we get in private.
You're going to and it's probably the last time you're
gonna hear from me. One of my deal breakers is
like public humiliation. I don't embarrass you in public. You
(33:42):
don't embarrass me. I don't care how mad you are,
because I don't care how mad I am. We're gonna
deal with it later. I'm not here to make you
look bad, but you're gonna answer for your actions, just
like if you want me to answer for mine. But
it's not for everybody to be a part of. It's
not for everybody to know because people take things and
run with it. But yes, respect is really big, of course,
(34:03):
that's what that's what men are built on. I expect
respect from other men. I respect respect. I expect respect
from children, So of course I'm gonna expect it from
a woman. Right well, I mean that should go without saying.
(34:26):
Respect him. Number eight, Submit to him? God states it clearly.
Why submit to your husband, submit your body and other
things when he needs them. If you have any trouble
with that, ask God, not me. Why was Abraham madly
in love with Sarah. She didn't allow her exceptional beauty
to make her proud. She was very submissive, respectful wife
(34:47):
who called her husband lord. Hey. That that's based on
your relationship. But availability is a thing, right If I
need you, I want you to be there. I should
be your priority outside of having children. If we have children,
I understand you can't necessarily jump up and do things,
(35:12):
but I should be a priority. You would be mine.
So when we hear the word submit, we always you know,
we always feel like it's back to talking about slavery
and I don't have a voice. Shit, I have to
do what you say, and things like that. To a
certain extent, that's what relationships are built on. We have
(35:32):
mutual understandings of Hey, I need this from you. You
need this from me When you need it, I give it.
When you need it, I give it. Other than that,
you should be by yourself. You should be by yourself
if you are expecting me to make you mine exclusively.
There's three point five billion women on the planet, three
(35:53):
point five billion. You want me to be with you one. Yeah,
you should be available when I need that, because that's
what you're telling me. I'm all you'll ever need. Are
you really? Are you just saying that you have to
show that instead of just saying that it's important. Number
(36:18):
nine Support. Men want women who can support whenever they
need help. That's why lots of men are having affairs
with colleagues at work, because the colleague is eager to
help them when he needs it most, while we want
at home left them to handle his problems by himself.
Why didn't get married? What is his role? What is
her role in his life? As a helper? I'm not
(36:40):
ever going to justify affairs. That's just an example she
wanted to use. But yes, support is very important. Support.
I need somebody I can run ideas off of, someone
I can talk to, someone who will give me count.
That goes back to the leadership thing. We're looked at
(37:04):
to make those decisions, but we don't always have the answers,
we don't always see every angle. We want that person
in our ear. Just hey, this is important to me,
and I want it to be just as important to
you because it may affect you just as much as
it affects me. So I need that support. Men aren't
(37:25):
as eager to open up because we don't get that
support the moment that we're vulnerable with you all we look,
it's going to be thrown in our face years from now,
and that's unfortunate because it shouldn't be that way. We
are not robots. We are human. We should be stronger,
(37:49):
more resilient humans, but we're human. We have a cup.
It may be you know, larger than the average person,
larger than yours, larger than a child's, So it should
take longer for us to reach certain points, but it happens.
It happens all the time, and there's nothing wrong with that,
(38:11):
but we need that support again because you're asking us
for a relationship. So you're saying you're gonna be everything
that we need in one person. I shouldn't need anyone
else for anything because you're going to handle it all. Essentially,
that's what you're saying. It's a huge commitment. We have
(38:32):
to be cognizant of that before we start saying relationships
and stuff like that. Just because you're afraid to be lonely.
Understand the commitment that you're making to someone. It's a
huge ask, it really is. It's a very huge ass number.
Ten Men go through seasons. The season of little, the
season of managing, the season of abundance. No man wants
(38:55):
a gold digger who runs away when he has challenges,
only to show up when he has made it has
millions flowing in his account. Men aren't difficult at all.
These and more are what makes a man tick, thrive,
and enjoy the woman he is vowed to spend the
rest of his life with. Can you be that kind
of woman? We go through seasons, We win some and
(39:21):
we lose some. That's just part of progress. If we
have to take a knee if we experience that, if
we have to take an L, we want to know
that we have that woman that's supporting us still, because
no man wants to take an L. You know, I
(39:42):
fail to believe that a man wants to take an LL.
Sometimes we're up and sometimes we're down. Sometimes we don't
always get that promotion. Sometimes we don't always get that job,
and it affects us. But that's why we need that
love and support. I'm a nice woman that we chose
to be with in our lives is very beneficial to us.
(40:05):
So don't think that you know because he's strong and
strong willed and has an ego that he doesn't look
to you for certain things, because we do. We look
to you all for a lot, a lot of comfort,
a lot of support, a lot of counsel is to
take our mind off some of the bs. A lot
(40:26):
of peace is to take our mind off some of
the bs. Sometimes you should be our turn to We
should be able to turn to you for all of that.
If you're talking in relationships, as we go through seasons,
and we don't want someone who's going to turn and
run when times get hard. I mean, if God forbid.
(40:49):
If I lose my job, I mean trust and believe it,
it hits me harder than anyone. So I might be down.
But if I'm going out every day like to pursue
the happiness and selling door to door and just trying
to make it work, I should guess I should get
grace for that because I'm trying. But that's not what
(41:15):
men usually get. Men. Ya, oh, well, you can't do
this anymore. I'm out. That's not that's not the way
that it should be. We should be there to support
at all times, through thick and thin, sickness and hell.
But yeah, we go through seasons, go through seasons of worry,
We go through seasons of man. Life is great right now,
(41:36):
we can just do whatever we want to do. It's cool.
We go through seasons of ah, let me slow down
a little bit because you know, I got to think
about moving forward, and then we go through seasons of
abundance again. But that's just that's just the formula. That's
that's how it goes, is up and down. So that's it.
(42:00):
Those are the ten the ten points for understanding your man,
as told from a woman. And I agree with these points.
So let me know what you guys think about one
through ten,
Today I'm talking about understanding your man. So I'm talking
to the women. So let's get into this understanding your man.
(00:20):
Men are the simplest species I've ever handled in my life.
No man is difficult. Ignorance is what makes it difficult.
If you want men to fall in love with you
and your fiance slash husband to treat you like the
greatest treasure on earth, you must understand what makes a
man a man, the right buttons to click, and how
(00:42):
to enjoy a sweet, blissful heaven on earth marriage with him.
So this is the premise for this understanding your man.
Let's get into it. Number one, men have first love.
They are passionate about it, and that is his work.
(01:02):
I think is men have a first love, they are
passionate about it, and that is his work. A man
must succeed. Not making progress in life is like being impotent.
He feels castrated. You must understand this age and you
must understand this and give him space to succeed. This
requires time, efforts, focused sleepless nights. To demand he spent
(01:26):
all his waking hours watching romantic movies with you is
to turn him into a perpetual failure, idle ladies who
have nothing sensible doing doing with their lives except disturb
their fiance at work per minute per second to fulfill
their empty life or a big turn off. I'm always
we want not we women want men to be providers.
(01:50):
In order for us to provide for you, we must work.
I am a huge proponent of men working. Absolutely, just
have a damn job, some way of pulling in income. Okay,
that is what we are meant to do. Now, Is
that all that were meant to do? No, but that's
one of the main things we are meant to do
is put in work. One of the negative things about
(02:15):
being a provider is you want to live a certain lifestyle.
I want to be able to provide for myself and
provide for a woman. Women want providers who make money.
Those jobs require time and commitment. So when she says
there's going to be focused and sleepless nights, A successful
(02:37):
man is a busy man. Right. If I'm the CEO
of a company, that's not nine to five. If I'm
a cardiologist a heart surgeon, that's not nine to five.
There's other jobs where you can be successful, but a
lot of times they are. You need to be available
at any time I put in for a I put
(03:01):
in an application to work at Walmart to run one
of their stores. In the application, it says you must
be available twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Now,
I know that that's not absolutely possible, but that's what
they say, and that's to be a store manager and
to run a complete Walmart. Again, I said yesterday, there
(03:25):
is no there is not a problem with being the
fry guy at McDonald's. However, that's a nine to five
and your earning potential is limited unless you continue to
move up. Women, we have to under women. We have
to understand if you want your man to provide, is
going to have to spend time doing that. And that's
(03:49):
why we go into We like a woman who is peaceful.
We like a woman who likes to take care of
the home in the family. It's not because we don't
want to do that stuff. One because we feel it's
innate in you as a woman. And two because while
we're out providing for our family so we can have
a nice home, a nice life, nice food, a nice
(04:10):
time vacation, we don't want to have to worry about that.
We want to be able to work our shift whether
it's five, six, ten, twelve, fifteen hours, we come home
and we don't have to worry about the bullshit. That's
all of that is. That's not to say that you're
not important. You're very important to us, very important to us.
(04:34):
But if you want a provider, if you have a
man who wants to provide for you, we have to work.
We have to work. That becomes I may be a
little bit tired, you may not get all the you know,
the time that you want. Compromises have to be made
if you don't want a level a certain level of provider.
(04:56):
In dating, women say that they want a man who
makes one hundred K. Now a lot of people, that's
not a lot of money. That depends you're not a business.
So once a business wants to give you one hundred
and twenty thousand, you don't know how much work they
want you to do in order to earn that amount.
It's not up to you to decide that one hundred
(05:18):
k isn't a lot if you don't have it, if
you want it, but when you're working for it, Hey,
companies look at a one hundred K spending one hundred
k on one person, is I want to return on
my investment, so you may have to put in some hours.
And so that's all it's saying is that men have
a first love and that's that's our work. So if
you have a man that is working to provide for
(05:40):
you this whole, you know, I'm cheating because I'm not
getting the attention I deserve and you know you're not
here with me, and I'm lonely I'm working. I'm literally
being punished for having a job. How wild is that? Like?
How I don't understand how that can even be an argument.
(06:04):
We should be able to communicate and if possible, we
can make better use of the time. But to cheat
on a man, to not like a man because he
works too much, I know it. People say that sounds ridiculous,
but it's very, very true. It's very true. You enjoy
(06:24):
the lifestyle. You want the man to make one hundred k,
but you want him to be home at four o'clock
every day. It's not how it works. Okay, it's not
how it works. Number Two, men have an ego, Yes
we do. He needs it to He needs it to
be the head of his home and succeed. You must
(06:45):
distinguish between ego and pride. A man with a healthy
ego will listen to you, but firmly and lovingly let
you know his final decision. A man with pride won't
listen to you at all, snob you and treat you
like trash. A man with a healthy ego is not
a dummy. Some women expect their men to take all
of their advice and follow all their instructions. That is
(07:07):
not possible. He can't take everything. He will take the
ones that make sense and put aside the ones that
will land you in trouble. He is the head. You
can't force your ideas on him. You can only advise him.
The final decision lies lies in his hand. Wow wow
(07:28):
number two. Right, it starts off with a man hasn't
men have egos? But what it says here is what
we talk about as men when we say that we're leaders.
And so this is the problem with women who say
you want a leader, but you get mad if he
(07:48):
doesn't take all of your advice, Well then I'm not
a leader. I'm just a Manchurian candidate. I'm a puppet.
I'm not leading. I always say this, leaders, really good
leaders develop. Leaders do not make decisions in a vacuum.
We take input. Just because I take your input doesn't
mean I'm going to use it. It doesn't mean that,
(08:12):
and women have to understand that's not what it means.
I'm taking your input. I value your input because I
know that it's real. But I can choose not to
use it. That doesn't make me a bad leader. And
if I don't choose to use your advice and I
make a mistake, that doesn't make me a bad leader.
So the last thing I want to hear is you
know I told you so. Yo. I'm out here trying
(08:33):
to do the best for you and for me. I
don't want us to fail. I don't want us to fail,
but I make the best decision with the information that
I have at that time. Absolutely, a man with a
(08:55):
healthy ego will listen to you, but firmly and lovingly
let you know it's his final decision when we talk this.
You know you want a leader, but you know you
want to be next to him. Okay, I understand that,
But when women say you want to be next to him,
you want to be just as much of a leader
as he does. No, I'm not fighting you to lead
(09:18):
this family. You need to be by yourself lead your family,
or find you a man who's in beta status who
prefers you to lead him in the family. It's like
driving a car. I my hand is on the wheel,
right passenger, princesses, you love that. You don't like to drive.
You want him to lead you. So wherever I drive
(09:41):
this car is where we're going. It's a relationship. You're
next to me, You're gonna arrive the same time I arrive.
You're supposed to be the navigator. Hey, when's the when's
that next when's the next gas station? How many exits?
You give me that input? Oh shit, the next one
is like the next exit. Now, I think we can
(10:03):
make it like three more, so we're good. I took
your input, but I didn't use it. I took your input,
but I didn't use it. Now, if you say, if
I'm driving along and i'm I'm just coasting, and you're like, hey,
like when you missed the exit, Oh shit, my bad,
I was fucked up. I'm daydreaming. I'm taking your input
(10:26):
because you saw a flaw right there, and so you
came up and you know you made a decision. I'm
not I'm okay with that, but you're still next to me.
We're all going the same location. We're all moving forward,
we're all moving backwards together. When people say fifty, you
(10:48):
want a fifty to fifty leave, but you don't want
a fifty to fifty pay That shit is insane when
we talk about that leadership thing, because people say they
want that leader, they want a man, and then we
get into that situation. They want to water it down,
they want to make little decisions here here, here, and
you start to you start to water it down and
(11:08):
invalidate what you said that you want it. If you
want a leader, you're gonna have to stand back, stand back.
That's just how it is. Stand back. If you don't
have confidence in him as a leader, that's for you
to work on. Either you need to find a way
(11:29):
to gain trust in his leadership or change your leader.
That's what you have to do. If you grab the
wheel with me, we're driving. This is what dual leadership
looks like. You grab the wheel from you. From your purview,
(11:52):
how productive is that? It's not. It's dangerous because I
want to go left, you want to go right. So
what are we doing. We're jockeying for position. We could
end up anywhere, spun out, crash into someone else, because
there's not that final voice that says yes or no
(12:14):
before you designate someone as your leader. I'm never I'm
saying men are leaders and women should follow their leaders.
I'm not saying you should follow anyone. I'm saying pick
your leader with real with This is the word I'm
looking for. Pick your leader accurately. You have your set
(12:36):
of standards, go through your rolodex of this is what
I want, this is this is how he reacts. Yeah,
now I don't want to I don't want to follow him. Yes,
I want to follow him. But when you make that
decision to follow somebody, that's what you're doing. But yes,
we need the advice. Yes, we have an egos. He
(12:58):
should not be pride for he should not be too
prideful to listen to you. Absolutely not, because I'm not
going to choose you if I don't trust what you say,
if I don't value your opinion, and that's very important
to us. So that's why I don't understand when we
get when we get into relationships and you feel men
(13:22):
feel that they can't tell their women those pants don't
look good on you, or you're getting fat. That's communication.
If you tell me that, Okay, damn. If that's a problem,
I gotta work on me, because you know, the person
I want to be with is noticing a change that
she probably doesn't like. That's communication. All communication isn't a
(13:46):
Disney movie. It's not all rainbows and roses. Number three,
men are moved by sight. It's so amazing. So many
ladies are ignorant of this look. If you don't want
that guy to have sexed with you, cover up whenever
you're with him. I don't understand how a sane Christian
sister will go to her fiance's house with a mini
(14:07):
skirt and your laps, and your laps thrown apart right
in front of him. You also wore a low neckline,
and each time you bend, your big mammalian glands are
staring menacingly at him, and you tell him not to
not to do what. I pity men, honestly, the temptation
they face daily. Only the God of Heaven himself understands.
(14:29):
Because women are refusing to understand. In marriage, you must
deliberately make your husband chase you around for sex. Just
one look at some wives and all the sexual desire.
The men has flies right through the window, stinking mouth,
bushy armput torn underwear, ragged smelling wrapper. Yet the man
(14:49):
is surrounded by sweet, smelling, well dressed, tantalizing headswooning babes.
At work. You must keep packaging and repackaging, get transparent
that push the center, the central focus forward, jaw dropping lingerie,
sex triggering perfumes, and blow his imagination off as often
(15:10):
as you can. This is for the married. Absolutely, we
are visual creatures. We like it, we like to look
we do once we settle and so this is one
is for married people. Once we settle on that that's
(15:32):
when we this is the one. This is the one
that I can look at every day. There's a lot
of marriages where y'all start wearing bonnets, full on bullshit pajamas.
And we're talking about just every day, not you know
that certain week. We get that even just walking around
(15:54):
the house make a motherfucker do with double take. It
shouldn't you going out with your girls or us going
out for anniversary For me to see you and be like, damn,
like shorty, think, what are you looking good today? Like
that is a real thing. We are visual. Now that
(16:16):
doesn't mean we're going to jump you every time we
see you, right, that doesn't mean that. But even if
we're watching TV, you get up to go to the
bathroom or you get up to go to the kitchen,
we're looking at you. We are and we are reminded,
(16:38):
like that's me right there, like I'm with her. I
like that. No man should have to search out the
person that he's with. I'm with you for a reason,
like can I can you give me a reason to
want to stay right in here? Stay right in this pocket?
(17:02):
Because like it says, there's sweet smelling, there's sun dresses,
there's shorts that are all that are short as all
can get out. There's a mini skirts over there, but
you got on an ankle link dress every time we
go out, baggy pants what like. Of course, the person
(17:27):
that we have, the person that we're with, has a
level of beauty. We get that. So we still need
a constant reminder. And it doesn't take much. We are
very simple. It doesn't take much. You don't need a
ten thousand dollars piece of Hollywood lingerie from the store
(17:49):
underwearing T shirts. Now, if you are not comfortable wearing that,
that's something maybe that you should work on. You shouldn't
have to cover up for the person that you're with,
so if that's not working, there may be something bigger
at play. We all gain weight. I'm not the same
(18:11):
weight I was when I was younger. We have to
be honest in these relationships before people start stepping out
and doing other things with other people. So yes, I mean,
you might be mad that he says you're gaining some
way you should go to the gym, but that is
him telling you, like, hey, I want you to look good,
(18:36):
and right now you don't look good. There's no really
good way to say that. I'm sorry, Like some things
are a hard truth. But again, if you found the
one that you're with, there should be nothing off limits
to speak about. Nothing. We're moved by sight very much,
(18:58):
so very much so. Men number four. Men want peace
of mind. Nagging, criticizing, shouting, yelling, abusing, and cursing can
destabilize a man. You should minimize it as much as possible,
In fact, stop it all together. Some men may hate
coming home because the troublesome wife will nag the life
(19:20):
out of him till late in the night. Once he
wakes up, she repeats the cycle till he leaves home.
Men like that usually end up with mistresses or second wives.
Men run towards women who give them peace, not shatter
them to pieces. Yeah, being peaceful like that's something that
we don't really recognize as men until we get older.
(19:43):
And like I said, we have jobs. All men should
be working to elevate themselves in a job. Those jobs
are stressful. So the last thing that we want to
do when we walk in the door is to be
met by more issues. Now, I'm not saying that you
have to be quiet and can't share those issues. We
(20:07):
have to learn how to communicate with each other. Me personally,
I need an hour. I need an hour. Usually that
hour can be spent like in the car driving home.
But I don't No one should want to walk in
the door to just problems issues. I get it. If
(20:30):
you're stay at home mom, you've been working all day,
or you know you've been with the children all day,
you've been doing house stuff all day, you have stuff
that you want to share, stuff that you want to
get off your chest. Well, we have to find a
happy medium because men don't like to come home to that.
We like peacefulness, and we get it. If you got
(20:50):
two three kids and they're younger or you know they're
nine ten years old, you're not going to come home
and to be completely silent. So that's usually why we
make a quick detour to chill just a little bit
before we go home, because we know we're gonna have
to deal with that. But as our partner, you can
help us with that because we start that routine. If
(21:12):
we start that routine, I'm retired. And if I had
a woman who worked all day every day, I'm checking
her temperature when she gets home. I'm not gonna bombard
her as soon as she walks in the door. This, that,
and the third because people have long days, Susan from
accounting is getting on your nerves. I get it. And
so the last why didn't you take this out? Why
(21:33):
didn't you do that? This just broke you didn't answer you.
They're like, yo, I don't want to hear that, like
nobody wants to hear that. Peace is a thing people
wonder about loneliness. Now it's peaceful, it's quiet. If I
want a rutgus in here, I can control the rugus.
(21:54):
It's not loneliness. It's called peace and quiet. If I
wanted to, Hey, man, I'm just chilling. Ain't nothing going
on here. It's gonna be that way. Yelling and abusing
and cursing. That's just manly behavior. That's never gonna be
okay coming from women. That's never gonna be okay, never
gonna be okay, not for a certain level. Guy, it's
(22:16):
not we get it. Y'all get upset, and so I
give grace. When women are upset, it's gonna be things
flying around and things said. I get that, but that
shouldn't be part of your regular vernacular. When you're using
curse words. I know you're pissed off. I know, I
(22:36):
know it was one of those days. I get it.
I get it, but I don't want to be hanging
out with one of the guys. I don't want to
do that. And that's how men talk. That's not attractive
in a woman. Number five, men like quality food unless
he didn't give you enough money or he likes it.
(22:57):
Concoction rice with ground pepper, onion, coconut oil, and Magi Maggie.
Maggie is an insult to him. Watery stew that drops
to his elbow while eating is a big bomb on
his head. Soup that looks as if it's been sprinkled
over a pot of water is a big slap in
his face. His money should reflect what you cook. Please
(23:20):
maximize what you have. Treat him like a king. Y'all
know the old adage way to a man's heart is
through his stomach. I'm a person. I don't mind simple food.
I don't need you to go all out and cook
chicken parmesan and beef Wellington's every single night. No, I don't.
I don't necessarily need that. I like simple foods, but
I understand what they're saying. We do like food, and
(23:45):
y'all have seen on social media where women are cooking
like hamburger helper after a dude is working for fourteen hours.
It's just like, did you even make the attempt to
upgrade the cooking? We have to understand something. If you
want to be a stay at home wife, a stay
at home partner mom, that's fine, but we have to
(24:09):
see some results from that. Right. We have the internet
to try some recipes, try to do some stuff that's
gonna expand your abilities rather than just say you're sitting
at home. I mean, I don't expect you to be
a chef, but I expect something better than just regular
(24:31):
oodles and noodles. I can go cook that right now,
hot dogs, unless it's being requested. I'm quick to request
something really, really simple just because I just like simple food.
But that's up to him, right This is part of
comforting him, doing your role to support him. Again. He's
(24:53):
providing for you the way you asked him to, and
so you have to provide for us the way that
we ask you to, not the way that you want
to provide for us. That is important. You have to
listen the way you want us to listen to you
and what you need. You have to listen to us
and what we want and what we need. Too many
(25:14):
times we're giving people well, you know I was doing this,
but you weren't doing it the way that I want
you to do it or I prefer it to be done.
So at the end of the day, you're not doing it.
You're not doing it for me, You're just doing it.
In general, quality food. Think about those menus. We can't
eat spaghetti every night, even if you designate a Sunday
(25:39):
to throw down put your foot in it. You know,
to go crazy with the food. You don't have to
do that every night, but we want to see those
home cooked meals. Sometimes we can. We can get regular
pizza roles anytime. But it's the fact that you are
thinking like that. If I have to be like, nah, nah,
(26:01):
you know what I'm saying. I don't want no beef
Wellington tonight. Just something simple, okay, Like that's that's you
get the night off. You get to throw something, you
get to throw some spaghetti, some shrimp offredo together and
we good to go because I don't I don't need
anything big. It's just it's just a thought process. We
(26:21):
have to be thinking higher and not thinking mid tier
or lower if we want higher higher tier. Men number
six and I was gonna do a show on this
number six too. Men love to be praised candidly. I
love praising men. Praise of man is my natural territory.
(26:42):
When I noticed it, it almost landed me in trouble,
as men keep giving the chase. I stopped it all
together and focused on my husband. If you are a
man praiser, you will never lack a man's love all
your life. You will be pampered, loved, and chairish. I
never at a single man who does not respond to praise. Stingy, selfish,
(27:05):
bitterly critical women who see nothing good in their men
never have lasting marriages. Praise your husband, silly, appreciate his
efforts in your life. Look out for his good qualities
and his song in his ears daily, and sing in
his ears daily. I love praising my husband. It gives
(27:25):
me deep pleasure doing so. He deserves it and enjoys
listening to it. We don't, we don't need it, but
it shows appreciation. Absolutely. It's better than always complaining, because
a lot of things that men do in the provider
role are thankless jobs. The electricity coming on every day,
(27:51):
being able to cook food, being able to get in
a car and drive it, being able to water coming
on us, not being evicted. The average man doesn't get appreciated,
doesn't get thanked for electricity being there. But if we
if it turns off right, you go to throw the switch.
(28:13):
What's the first question you're asking, did you play the
electric bell? See how that form of negativity, if we
always go with the negative, how that affects even our psyche.
It's just we are engineered to overcome a lot of things,
but our cup runneth over also, and negativity is one
(28:37):
of those things where when it comes to a certain point,
you just don't want to deal with it anymore. You
just don't need it anymore. So, yes, praise in certain
ways does benefit him. You're great, thanks for what you do.
I don't mention it now. We may we may just
you know, let it roll off our shoulders. But it's
(28:59):
good to hear that because we know for a fact
we're gonna hear the negative stuff when it happens. We
know that y'all don't hold back when it comes to
the negative, but also balance that out with the positive.
What if I beat you down every day with negative stuff,
you're gonna be like, dang, I can't do nothing right. Dang,
you're always upset with me. Right, But if I give
(29:20):
you just as much praise as I do the negative,
it's a balance. I don't know why women don't like
praising men. It's so hard to praise a man. And
I was gonna do an actual show on just that topic.
I just didn't have a lot to really say. Well,
(29:41):
that's really a real thing. I think it's a little
bit of an entitlement. You know, women are and they
feel entitled to certain things. But we still make the
decision to do that for you all, So thank you
(30:01):
here and there, whether it be verbally, whether it be,
you know, an act of service, whether it be a
combination of the two, cooking something. Hey, I cooked this
for you, Thank you. I was thinking about this and
thought of you. Thank you. You know. Because the world
is rough and so we look for that comfort from
(30:26):
our significant other, they should be you should be our
circle of comfort because outside these doors it's a cruel,
cruel world. Everybody knows that it's hard out there. Imagine
it being hard out there and in here, people just
beating you down. Your boss on your ass, You can't
(30:46):
do nothing right. Come home, your spouse is on your ass,
you can't do nothing right. Like damn, when will it's
end with? Our home should be a sanctuary for us
as well. Absolutely, men love to be praise number six,
So number seven respect him. Ladies who shout at their fiance,
(31:09):
order him around and disgrace him in public. Because she
has a master's degree in international marketing, will stay a
long long time as single before she finds an old
man to marry. You must be humble if you want
to be under any man's roof. Respect is the food
of any every man. Learn to respect your fiance, show
(31:29):
honor to your husband. Saying yes sir whenappropriate won't make
you any less of a woman. Learn how to talk
to a man. Some women just don't know how to talk.
Never correct him in public, don't send him on an
errand in front of his friends. Stop making just of
him in front of children. It's bad. Everybody wants respected
(31:50):
and men are no are no different. I think there
is a there. There's always been a shift as to
treating women with more care and respect as we should.
And you know, men just we just deal with it.
We just take that and it shouldn't have to be
that way. That's the responsibility of women to recognize that
(32:12):
you guys are our comforters. You guys are are the
keepers of love. Like that you have love inside you
that you're ready to give to somebody. That's why you
give little girls dolls when they're younger. They're already caring
for something, right, give them a stroller, a carriage, a
doll to carry. They're already caring for something at really
(32:34):
young ages. And what little boys are usually what destroying, destroying,
git loud and rambunctionous. And you have to corral that energy.
But respect is a really big thing, and we've we've
talked about this on the channel ad nauseum. Right, we're
not even gonna we don't have to get all the
(32:55):
way into that, but that's what they're talking about with
their respect. There's a time and a place for everything,
and if you want to be respected as a woman,
you have to give that treat others how you would
like to be treated as a definition of respect. So
you can't be bombing on me, screaming at me, but
then you want me to ah, not in front of everybody.
(33:19):
I'm gonna give you the same energy you give me,
not in that instance, because it's just not in me
to scream on a woman in public. But you're gonna
you're going to hear about it once we get in private.
You're going to and it's probably the last time you're
gonna hear from me. One of my deal breakers is
like public humiliation. I don't embarrass you in public. You
(33:42):
don't embarrass me. I don't care how mad you are,
because I don't care how mad I am. We're gonna
deal with it later. I'm not here to make you
look bad, but you're gonna answer for your actions, just
like if you want me to answer for mine. But
it's not for everybody to be a part of. It's
not for everybody to know because people take things and
run with it. But yes, respect is really big, of course,
(34:03):
that's what that's what men are built on. I expect
respect from other men. I respect respect. I expect respect
from children, So of course I'm gonna expect it from
a woman. Right well, I mean that should go without saying.
(34:26):
Respect him. Number eight, Submit to him? God states it clearly.
Why submit to your husband, submit your body and other
things when he needs them. If you have any trouble
with that, ask God, not me. Why was Abraham madly
in love with Sarah. She didn't allow her exceptional beauty
to make her proud. She was very submissive, respectful wife
(34:47):
who called her husband lord. Hey. That that's based on
your relationship. But availability is a thing, right If I
need you, I want you to be there. I should
be your priority outside of having children. If we have children,
I understand you can't necessarily jump up and do things,
(35:12):
but I should be a priority. You would be mine.
So when we hear the word submit, we always you know,
we always feel like it's back to talking about slavery
and I don't have a voice. Shit, I have to
do what you say, and things like that. To a
certain extent, that's what relationships are built on. We have
(35:32):
mutual understandings of Hey, I need this from you. You
need this from me When you need it, I give it.
When you need it, I give it. Other than that,
you should be by yourself. You should be by yourself
if you are expecting me to make you mine exclusively.
There's three point five billion women on the planet, three
(35:53):
point five billion. You want me to be with you one. Yeah,
you should be available when I need that, because that's
what you're telling me. I'm all you'll ever need. Are
you really? Are you just saying that you have to
show that instead of just saying that it's important. Number
(36:18):
nine Support. Men want women who can support whenever they
need help. That's why lots of men are having affairs
with colleagues at work, because the colleague is eager to
help them when he needs it most, while we want
at home left them to handle his problems by himself.
Why didn't get married? What is his role? What is
her role in his life? As a helper? I'm not
(36:40):
ever going to justify affairs. That's just an example she
wanted to use. But yes, support is very important. Support.
I need somebody I can run ideas off of, someone
I can talk to, someone who will give me count.
That goes back to the leadership thing. We're looked at
(37:04):
to make those decisions, but we don't always have the answers,
we don't always see every angle. We want that person
in our ear. Just hey, this is important to me,
and I want it to be just as important to
you because it may affect you just as much as
it affects me. So I need that support. Men aren't
(37:25):
as eager to open up because we don't get that
support the moment that we're vulnerable with you all we look,
it's going to be thrown in our face years from now,
and that's unfortunate because it shouldn't be that way. We
are not robots. We are human. We should be stronger,
(37:49):
more resilient humans, but we're human. We have a cup.
It may be you know, larger than the average person,
larger than yours, larger than a child's, So it should
take longer for us to reach certain points, but it happens.
It happens all the time, and there's nothing wrong with that,
(38:11):
but we need that support again because you're asking us
for a relationship. So you're saying you're gonna be everything
that we need in one person. I shouldn't need anyone
else for anything because you're going to handle it all. Essentially,
that's what you're saying. It's a huge commitment. We have
(38:32):
to be cognizant of that before we start saying relationships
and stuff like that. Just because you're afraid to be lonely.
Understand the commitment that you're making to someone. It's a
huge ask, it really is. It's a very huge ass number.
Ten Men go through seasons. The season of little, the
season of managing, the season of abundance. No man wants
(38:55):
a gold digger who runs away when he has challenges,
only to show up when he has made it has
millions flowing in his account. Men aren't difficult at all.
These and more are what makes a man tick, thrive,
and enjoy the woman he is vowed to spend the
rest of his life with. Can you be that kind
of woman? We go through seasons, We win some and
(39:21):
we lose some. That's just part of progress. If we
have to take a knee if we experience that, if
we have to take an L, we want to know
that we have that woman that's supporting us still, because
no man wants to take an L. You know, I
(39:42):
fail to believe that a man wants to take an LL.
Sometimes we're up and sometimes we're down. Sometimes we don't
always get that promotion. Sometimes we don't always get that job,
and it affects us. But that's why we need that
love and support. I'm a nice woman that we chose
to be with in our lives is very beneficial to us.
(40:05):
So don't think that you know because he's strong and
strong willed and has an ego that he doesn't look
to you for certain things, because we do. We look
to you all for a lot, a lot of comfort,
a lot of support, a lot of counsel is to
take our mind off some of the bs. A lot
(40:26):
of peace is to take our mind off some of
the bs. Sometimes you should be our turn to We
should be able to turn to you for all of that.
If you're talking in relationships, as we go through seasons,
and we don't want someone who's going to turn and
run when times get hard. I mean, if God forbid.
(40:49):
If I lose my job, I mean trust and believe it,
it hits me harder than anyone. So I might be down.
But if I'm going out every day like to pursue
the happiness and selling door to door and just trying
to make it work, I should guess I should get
grace for that because I'm trying. But that's not what
(41:15):
men usually get. Men. Ya, oh, well, you can't do
this anymore. I'm out. That's not that's not the way
that it should be. We should be there to support
at all times, through thick and thin, sickness and hell.
But yeah, we go through seasons, go through seasons of worry,
We go through seasons of man. Life is great right now,
(41:36):
we can just do whatever we want to do. It's cool.
We go through seasons of ah, let me slow down
a little bit because you know, I got to think
about moving forward, and then we go through seasons of
abundance again. But that's just that's just the formula. That's
that's how it goes, is up and down. So that's it.
(42:00):
Those are the ten the ten points for understanding your man,
as told from a woman. And I agree with these points.
So let me know what you guys think about one
through ten,
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