How to Date Less Effectively (Dating Advice from 3/4 Single People)

William Pryzbingus and Isaac Zilbowzer discuss dating and relationships with Anna Zaepfel and Abigail Merwin, both of whom are raging sexists who think that traditional historically proven family values beat out sodomy and stupidity.

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Hello, all right, welcome backto the w RITZ podcast. People.
We are here today and you knowit's our tenth episode. So we figured
we ought to do something kind ofunusual, maybe a little bit important.
So Will and I are going tobe talking about the state of dating and
relationships in modern America. But yousee, we're two men, so we
have that we have that idiotic masculineperspective. We're dumb and plus talking about

(00:26):
dating with your homie, I mean, that's kind of gay. So we
decided to have we decided to havea woman on. We had Abigail Merwin
back with us in the studio again, so thank you so much for coming
on and giving us the feminine perspective. So you can sit, yes,
you can talk now. But theproblem with just having Abigail on is that
all three of us are single,and we don't really know what's going on

(00:47):
in relationships unless we have someone who'sactually topping up. So we decided to
have our friend Anna on as well. Hey guys, and she has a
very quiet voice in case you couldn'ttell, so listen very close. Hopefully
she has stuff to say. Eventhough it'll be quiet, she always has
good stuff to say thank you.This podcast was the miracle podcast. Um,

(01:08):
we've all been trying to plan thisfor a week and a half,
two weeks, I don't know,but between Abigail and me, we managed
to reschedule it three times the sameday. So um, y'all better be
darn grateful. Literally day and theentire year that actually worked every other day
pretty much. Everybody was busy prettymuch. That's that's how it feels for
sure. But yes, we aretalking about dating and relationship. Oh boy,

(01:32):
I'm excited, and it's our tenthepisode, so that's definitely unusually.
Got to celebrate. Congratulations, butthank you, thank you. Yes,
we we're quite flattered than ourselves.Yes, quite proud, yes, just
as we should be. God hatesthe proud, but we're proud anyway.
Anyway, Um, so should westart out here? What do you want
to start with? Will? Idon't know, I don't know. We

(01:53):
should start out with something, youknow, let's talk about something. Let's
let's talk about As you can tell, we are very well prepared. Well
we are, actually we're just actinglike we're not. Well. Actually we've
been contributing notes to each other ina group. Yeah, that's true.
There. Let's let's let's focus inour first segment about dating in like the
world, you know, when youthink of the globe and worldly culture,

(02:15):
all that dating and all that.And then in the second segment will get
into dating in the church, whichwill be interesting because we all have basically
the same viewpoint on the world,I think, But when it comes to
the church, we're all going tobe like vending machine. All probably pretty
good, but some better than others. All right, all right, So
I want to start off with somethingrelatively new to the world of dating,

(02:35):
like you think about it. Forthe past I don't know, six thousand
years, there haven't been any datingapps, and there haven't been any social
media's to speak of, right,nothing special has gone on in the regardless
to technology. And now all theseyoung people who are dating, trying to
date, or even married, theyall have to reckon with this new Some
would call him evil, some wouldcall out a help some would call it

(02:58):
whatever you know, Instagram, tenderbumble. They're not all in the same
category of social media. But thereality is they're all apps on your phone
that you can use to connect withpeople. Some are meant to help you
get connected with people and some aremeant to help you stay connected with people.
Yep. So let's focus on datingapps for a minute here. First,
I'll start off by saying that Ithink they're dumb. Um, but
then we'll o's a pretty statement.I will say that me saying that they're

(03:23):
dumb overall is um. Kind ofcontrary to a debate that Abigail, Anna
and I were doing. Oh Annahwas arguing that they were dumb a week
ago. N Abigail and I werearguing it that they weren't. And I
think that they can be changed reallyquickly. I might have to go back
on my word with the debate wehad last week a little bit. I
don't know dating apps. Okay,here's the thing. It's a it's a

(03:46):
tool. A tool can be usedfor good or bad. Yes, I
don't think a dating app is inherentlydumb or not, because I'm sure there
are some like good, wholesome couplesthat have met dated a few. I
think, yeah, someone at ourchurch, didn't they meet on something?
I think they met on the Christiantender type things, which those terms seem
like they don't go together. Datingapps, you definitely get what you put

(04:13):
into it. Exactly what you putinto it. And because my aunt and
uncle meant on a dating app andthey have two adorable children. But there's
some controversy. They're not in dangerof divorce or anything, but I think
that they had there was a there'sa chance for them to be happier.
I just think maybe a dating appwasn't the best place to meet someone in

(04:36):
that instance. Um yeah, theyended up getting married because they had my
cousin before marriage. But well notonly because of that, but you in
that case, you definitely put youdefinitely get out what you put into it
and your intentions and stuff. Likewith Christian mangle, I'm sure those people
meant to meet someone who was godlyto marry and to do life with.

(05:00):
But someone who's just looking for aquick hook up, like yeah active,
I think in the hook up,like people that are out there like oh
yeah, it's one night, likethey're going to be with anyone, call
it a boyfriend auction before. ButI also know a couple who are getting
married and they met on a datinga map dating app during quarantine even like

(05:23):
during COVID, and they're getting marriedright now, and they're not Christian,
but they're like a really strong couple. They lived together right, Um,
like they don't really have any bigrelationship flause because of that. Yeah,
so well, I know I knowsecular couples who have met on dating apps,
but I will say the thing aboutthe couple that I'm thinking of right
now is that they met on Ithink it's some bumble or something like that.

(05:44):
It's basically the dating app where menjust allow themselves to be swiped at
by women, but they can't reallymake the first move, Like it leaves
it up to the woman we firstmove, which I don't really agree with
the premise of, Like I don'tthink it really matters who makes the first
move at the end of the day, I don't care. But it is
easier when a man can't make thefirst move because men are generally more aggressive,

(06:06):
especially online. Well yeah, youknow what's like that sounds so weird
almost when you think about it,like, oh, the woman makes the
first move, because when you thinkabout it, that seems less aggressive,
like when a woman could be justas dangerous and aggressive as some Yeah,
that's why I've said with the preceI don't agree with it, but I

(06:28):
to me, it's sort of sadthat the classic like the man goes after
the woman and pursues her, likethat's sort of been lost in a hook
up culture, and it's sad tome. I don't know if it's I
don't know if it's been entirely lostin hookup culture. Well, I think
it's just changed form so that itcan't be recognized anymore. Yeah, because
men still go out. Yeah,it's like a pure pursuit. That type

(06:50):
is a pursuit for marriage to technicallyby pursuing the woman, but like leading
the relationship like that to kind ofmake the decision. And well, you
know, the men do the hardwork of hunting out the women and then
um, pardon my language, ladies, but the victims become the leaders as
soon as you get into a relationship. It's like the man hunts out the

(07:11):
woman and he goes and uses abunch of stupid flirt lines and then the
woman's boss. Okay, it doesdepend, Like I think some relationships where
the women are just more dominant andif that works for them, that works
for them. This conversation, it'svery easy to like make a generalization.
It is, right, it reallyis, because like, yeah, I
think that's going to be a themewill touch on more later than It really

(07:33):
depends on the couples and yeah involvedin relationships as to how they're going to
turn out exactly. But I willask this question overall, do you think
that dating apps are beneficial or notso beneficial for relationships? Because on the
one hand, you have a lotof relationships that start with them, and
on the other you hear all thesestories of people who cheated on their partners,

(07:55):
going, I don't think you cananswer that generally, right, Yeah,
it's it's too general because I knowthat Again, it goes back to
it being just a tool for peopleto use for either good or evil.
Right, certainly easier than going outand meeting people. Yeah, so sure
it makes getting a relationship. Yeah. What the thing is is you got
rid of all dating apps, itwouldn't make meeting people impossible. Yeah,

(08:16):
you could still meet people. Well, we all know that for hundreds of
years people manage without dating apps.So it's not definitely. I mean we're
here right now, so that's clear. Um. True. I mean it
really fits our world of technology though, right it does. It does.
I think in general, though,the overdependence on technology is just not good.

(08:39):
Right, Yeah, you're right.And another thing is like I just
I cringe whenever it's like I seethis, I don't know. Once in
a while, this couple will popup and they're like, I'm an Instagram
influencers, my boyfriend is totally fine. It like like really, really,

(09:00):
it's fine. Your boyfriend's only finewith that because he wants to be able
to look at other girls. Right, Well, I saw this TikTok.
I actually did him. I actuallydid see this TikTok once. It was
like this guy was going up torandom women and asking like, hey,
do you have only fans? Andthe lady was like, yes, yes
I do. She was like andthen he was like okay, well do
you let your boyfriend use only fans? And she was like, uh no,

(09:22):
no way, he's using only fans. And then I was like,
but you have only fans and youposted your only fans right, and she
was like, uh uh not allowedto look at her only fans. She's
he's her only subscriber to Oh goodpoint. No, she makes him pay

(09:43):
for that show. Well that's thedifference. Well she thinks it's because she's
making money, so it's fine.Well, you know the boys are obviously
some boys are fine with it,not so much because they want their girlfriends
on only fans because their girlfriends makemoney. Yeah. Well, also they

(10:03):
don't want to tell them to notdo it because otherwise they'll get their sexist
Yeah yeah, but I mean Idon't care if some girl like that gets
mad at me for just trying todo what's right. Yeah, I guess
that's kind of lost on. Whatdoes that tell about the man's standards though?
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, yeah, what does he want her for?
Like? Yeah, yeah, becauseyou would have to know she was

(10:24):
on only fans probably right, notalways? Not always always? I will
say that, Well, if she'sadmitting it to a she's admitting it to
a stranger, then her boyfriend probablyyeah. Yeah, so you shouldn't be
okay with that because that projects themodesty, which is not good. And
really her reasons for being on onlyfans, whether it's money or whatever,

(10:46):
it's still going to show through intheir relationship. Yeah. So what does
that also say about her boyfriend character? And like what ye want out of
the relationship? Right, It's atwo way street for sure, But I
find it rather scary that at thispoint boyfriends are less of actual romantic significant

(11:11):
others and they're more of just toys. And I've been wanting to talk about
this all day, but let's talkabout the boy best friends. Yeah,
you know the stereotype, right,the boy. Now, for those of
you who may not know what aboy best friend is, this is not
just some boy that you like platonicallyand you go out for ice cream once

(11:31):
in a while and you like totalk to him about politics whatever. This
according to Urban Dictionary. Um thedictionary definition from Urban Dictionary, which I
don't really recommend as a dictionary ordinarily, but Mariam Wisters doesn't have something for
cultural terms. Yeah, it's prettyreliable. I'm going to read um the
definition and I'm going to give specialattention to what I find to be a

(11:54):
little bit weird. Protect and cuddleyou like a little sister, makes you
laugh mile and you can be yourselfaround fine, no matter what you did.
He texts you in the morning andnight. That's a little creepy,
can talk to you about anything andeverything. I mean, fair enough.
Whatever. First one there, ifyou need a shoulder to cry, and
well I would I would think thatwould be your mom, your dad or
your boyfriend right knows when things aren'tright, even when you say I'm fine,

(12:16):
okay, little I do this topeople all the time. I know
when they're not right. Yeah,not anything special. YEA gives you great
advice, sure, I mean thefirst to call if something bad or amazing
happens, wouldn't that be your boyfriendor your dad? Like, if you
get flat tire, you want yourdad to come, unless your boyfriend's out
of town. Your boy best friendis only there. He's not afraid to
tell you when you're with the wrongguy. So this is implying he's not

(12:39):
the guys as well. This soundsa lot more like a brother or a
cousin to me, Like, that'salmost the relationship I have with my guy
cousins, right. Yeah. Butat the same time, it's like,
if they're not family, why don'tyou just date them? Exactly? Right?
If you have that relationship with someone, if they're treating you that,
well, just date them, likeexactly yeah, real good one. If

(13:00):
they'll tell you when your boyfriend isbeing a jerk, just get a new
boyfriend. Man. That's also asign that they're trying to like get her
out of the relationship. So thatcan free her up for isn't that like
the storyline of every Yeah, everystereotypical? Actually, actually I have a
gay best boyfriend. No, he'sdefinitely one gay. Yeah. Yeah,

(13:24):
the gay best friend is also aninteresting idea. I don't. I don't
think he's actually gay. I'm I'mjust gonna put that out there, right,
so creepy weird, Like, oh, okay, fine, you're gay
guys. You want to go tothe male you want to talk about guys

(13:45):
with other girls, like, youcan do that, but you still have
You're still a male physically, likeour mothers letting like boys into their houses.
Why are you assuming they have mothers? Maybe that's the I think that's
the problem. Yeah, yeah,it's the family dynamic though, Like with
the boy best frien, you basicallyjust described a brother like that a brother

(14:09):
what my brothers would do for me? Basically, I will say I don't
cuddle with my sister. Well,yes, I have a different brother sister
dynamic, though, Well do youcuddle with your sister? Will? Oh
I don't. It's it's a differentdynamic. Yeah, I don't cuddle with
my brothers like I'll hug them orlike yeah, with basically comfortable with them.
Yeah, yeah, sitting next tomy cousins or like you know,

(14:33):
hugging them and stuff like that.But I wouldn't be with other guys who
I'm friends because but like all otherguys are potential like exactly that, but
you know what I mean in thatworld, like that's a potential person you
could get married too, exactly,so you need to not treat them like
a sibling. Yeah, And Imean, you know, unless you're in
Alabama, your brother is your brother, it's not your boyfriend. Yeah.

(14:56):
But that does lead into the questionhow should one handle relationships with members of
the opposite sex when you're in aromance with someone, Like, is there
really I wonder if there's much ofa difference between how you should treat them
when you're single and when you have, well, a boyfriend or girlfriend.
I think there is a different Ithink there is a big difference. Speaking
from my own perspective, I neverreally hung out with guys alone before I

(15:18):
got in a relationship, just generally, but especially now. It's not just
because I don't trust the guys thatI'm with, but it's just like out
of respect for my boyfriend who doesn'twant to be referred to by his name.
He wants me to call him blueflame on this good old plug a
plug. So like, it's noteven that he's uncomfortable with that. I
mean he might be, but hehasn't told me that. It's just that

(15:39):
I want him to know. Listen, like I'm putting up his boundary,
like as a respect to you thatthere's there's nothing wrong with having a friend
of the opposite sex, But yeah, you shouldn't, especially when you're in
a relationship with someone, you shouldn'tlike hang out with them one on one.
Yeah, yeah, I think youreally have to meticulously guard yourself that

(16:00):
because with especially with like a boybest friend kind of thing. Like I
know, some people have a boyfriendand then they have a guy friend,
right, and they have to bemeticulous with how they treat the guy friends
exactly. There should be a hugedifference between how you are with your boyfriend
and yeah, you should be ableto you should be able to tell just
by looking at them, like asa total stranger, which one they're a

(16:23):
boy like they're dating and which onethey're just friends with, or should be
able to tell her maybe the girlis walking in front of the two guys
and they're holding hands behind her back. You know. Oh no, they're
both secretly gay. No, yeah, exactly. But like I'm just I'm
not saying that there shouldn't be adifference in how you treat someone when you're
in a relationship. But I'm justsaying that, like overall, even if

(16:45):
you're single and you're hanging out withsomeone of the other gender, you think
about it, like, if you'renot romantically involved with them, you would
probably treat them pretty much the sameway you would when you have a boyfriend.
Otherwise you might as well just datethem. That's a good point,
It's true. I mean, Ithink you need to have that like respect
for your your boyfoot or girlfriend,like especially for myself, because I wouldn't

(17:06):
want him to hang out with girlsalone either. I trust Abby and I
trust my boyfriend, but not thatI would hang out with him alone.
I would not make me uncomfortable,you know what I mean too, That
would make me comfortable with me too. That's why I would say, no,
I'm not going to do that,because I don't want you to do
that either. Yeah, I agree, there is the whole thing like men

(17:29):
and women can't be friends though.I think that's I think that's taking it
too far. I think that's abunch of bs. Man. I don't
like that, because at the endof the day, I mean, we're
brothers and sisters in Christ for areason, right, Yeah, Like you're
not going to raise a family witheveryone at your church, of course,
I hope, but you're still inChrist, like you have the fellowship,

(17:51):
right yeah, exactly. Yeah,so you can't just be cold to everyone.
But but yeah, you don't.You don't treat every woman you meet
as like the best person. AndI I will say that. The thing
about um, if you don't everlet your romantic partner have friends of the
other gender. I've seen the TikTok'swhere it's trusting. You have to kind

(18:12):
of have some trust there. Yeah. Yeah, well I've seen the tichtok.
It's like, I don't let myboyfriend look at other girls on TV.
I'm just that jealous. It's like, well, okay, but if
you, if you're there, you'rethe only girl he ever hands out with,
he's gonna get sick and you're reallyfast and go cheat, man,
because you want them to have somecomparison too. Sure, So I feel

(18:33):
like you want them to see thenegative, like the worst girls. If
you don't let them see anyone,it's just gonna be you and I'm not
going to like it's gonna be likethe only perception of girls. O gosh,
oh gosh, this girl, Ohmy gosh, I can't take her
in the mohile. I'm out ofhere. I think it's really unfair to
be like, no, you can'thave basically what you're saying. But also,
I know we're supposed to be savingJesus and the church for later,

(18:56):
but how are people supposed to ministerto the world if you won't let them.
I'll get another woman like, don'tlust after her. But you have
to love them like Jesus. Andif that's the standard for how we're living,
then loving someone like Jesus means thatyou love everybody like that is,
if you won't let them love themlike Jesus, because that's apparently a sign
of romance that makes Jesus. Idon't I don't remember Jesus romancing anybody.

(19:23):
No, Like his love is likea brotherly love, it's a fatherly love.
Right, then that's what kind ofgot me. I suppose interested when
I heard like the comparison between theboy best friend when you said it was
like a brother, because in myhead, I'm thinking, Okay, well,
true, you don't want your boybest friend to be everything that the
Urban Dictionary listed. But at thesame time, there's some kind of comparison

(19:47):
that you could make between a brotheror a cousin and a boyfriend. Like
you're not going again unless you're inAlabama. You're not going to date your
brother or your cousin. Now thatdoesn't mean that you're going to be completely
comfortable around them either, Like youcan have friends, but the reality is
that it depends on the couple.You need to lay out your own boundaries

(20:07):
and if you're not being unreasonable,then there's really no standard I can hold
you too. Also, I feellike having a boy or girl best friend
if you're not in a relationship,it's also really different. Like I my
mom had her best friend growing upsince she was like five, was a
boy. Yeah, and they werelike brother and sister. And I mean
my first thought is like, no, you wouldn't want to be You wouldn't

(20:30):
want your best friend to be thesame gender as the person you're dating.
But I think it really is possible, Like if they are your best friend
of the whole wide world, ifthey're the first person you call, like
throughout your whole childhood, it's stillpossible to have healthy relationships you're It's just
that your intention with that best friendshipneeds to be like very clear and the
person. The difference between having abest friend of the opposite gender when you're

(20:55):
single and when you're taken is thatit's really just it comes down to consequence.
Is because at the end of theday, the attitude should be basically
the same. Like whatever's inappropriate foryou to do when you're single is also
going to be inappropriated to do whenyou're a romantic relationship. The difference is
the consequences are different. If youdo something bad when you're single, well
just date the person like whatever.Okay, when you're not single, you

(21:18):
have another person to worry about.You don't want to hurt their feelings,
and then that person is going toget mad at whoever you did whatever else
with the boy, best friend,girl, best friend, whatever. That's
really not a difference of how youtreat put people. In my mind,
it's a difference of consequences. Yeah, that's a good point. I don't
have to worry about having a boybest friend though, and interference with a

(21:40):
relationship because I am single. Threequarters of us, there's only one outcast.
Sit and listen exactly. But youknow, how does the world treat
single people? Like, what arewe as single people told? Not necessarily

(22:03):
by our churches because that's going togive us a different perspective, but from
the world in general. Whenever youread the news or read I don't know
if you aren't read like psychological articlesabout the human brain, whatever, single
listen all that. I don't knowit. It's really hard to say stuff
about this because it's so broad andinconsistent what people say about it. Because
I see so many people saying somany different things about it, like don't

(22:26):
get married. It's a waste oftime. You're going to waste your life.
They're gonna end up at thirty fivewith a divorce where your wife gets
your house. Yeah, I've heardpeople say that. I've heard other people
say, oh, you should getmarried, but you should like marry out
of the country. You shouldn't gofor a woman in America. I've heard
people say that you're America. What'sthe benefit of that. They're just saying.
They're like people saying that there areno traditional women in America anymore,

(22:47):
and that the only traditional women youcan find her in places like you're a
quiet exactly. That's the problem Ihave with that. I don't agree with
them. Yeah, I don't agreewith them. I'm just saying that's what
I've seen. It's not like traditionalwomen in other cultures are going to be
that helpful to you, because you'recoming from a culture that isn't theirs.
Yeah, so like traditional women inanother culture, it's just going to be
kind of weird. Because he saysthey want American men exactly. Yeah,

(23:08):
I want an American man. No, I want a french Man. No,
thank you, but France. Ican see that Isaac. Isaac wants
a Frenchman. Confirmed. Well,maybe maybe to sell me cologne or something.
Oh. Actually, Will made areally good point earlier that the world

(23:30):
it's either like a girl boss kindof thing if you aren't dating or married.
You said this when we weren't recording. Yes, yeah, yeah,
the best guys. We actually haveour most interesting conversations off record. So
yeah, yeah, just the secondcut you get the worst of what we
say now we plan it out betterthan that. So it's true, like

(23:52):
people are praised for not being ina relationship and people are praised for not
having children and as a few mallike going after your dreams, your passions,
your job. But you're also insome circles shamed for not having a
boyfriend or not wanting boyfriends, likethere's something wrong with you or you're missing
out on something. And that's actuallysomething I had to get over, like

(24:15):
I'm not missing out on something.I'm actually sorry to bring God into this
again, but God's good. Yeah, please bring God into this. I
love having him here. He hasbeen a big part of me being like
okay, being single. And Iknow that's like you're only sixteen. Well,
yes, I'm only sixteen, butI still feel the pressures of society

(24:36):
to have my life. Yeah,you're still developing, Like your brain is
still developed. Exactly. It's alot of it's a big stereotype for like
teenage high schoolers especially to get likegirlfriends and boyfriends, and it sometimes feel
like you're missing out on something.It's also rarely like their lifelong relationship exactly,
it's very rare. It's just veryrare for your first relationship to be

(24:57):
your only one. I mean,it certainly happens. It happened with my
brother. Really he was lucky.Yeah, that was a fun story.
It was. But you know,it's interesting because you would think that you
wouldn't feel so much pressure in thechurch to get married. And it really
depends on the church. I willsay that. But I saw this skit

(25:18):
once. It was like when Asiansdon't have a girlfriend by eighteen, and
it's like, Okay, you gottaget your piano done, you have to
become a PhD by eighteen. Thenit's eighteen. Like no dating until your
eighteen is as soon as you teighteen, why aren't you married? What's
wrong with you? But it doesit seems like that in like churches sometimes
because it's like, look at thisbig church family. They homeschool all of

(25:42):
their eighty one and a half children. The parents got married at thirteen in
South Carolina. Like there's just it'snot necessarily outright said in a lot of
churches, but you walk into achurch. I'm thinking of churches in South
Carolina and the South by the way, um, but it's just like you

(26:02):
walk into the church and you seelike half the congregation, you know,
three quarters is made up of thepastor's kids. Yeah, it's like,
okay, I feel a little inadequatehere as a single person, and you
know, there's just sometimes it doesfeel like single people are supposed to be
doing more with their life, bringingmore good little Christians into the world.
I guess. Well, if yousee like a big family with a bunch

(26:23):
of kids. You know, ifyou see someone who's married has a bunch
of kids, like they're a happyfamily, Like you look at them and
think they're successful, Like that isalmost immediate. You're like, oh,
wow, look they've you know,completed their life. They have this healthy
relationship with family, Like that's asign of success. No, the parents
are going to have an under eighteenyear old in the house until they're dead
to take care of them. Whatdo they want? Well, like,
but that's it's sad because that's likereally in the church because people now they

(26:47):
see children as a burden, right, Yes, it's although I don't want
those people having kids. Well,if you see kids, it's like these
disgusting little monsters who leach off ofyou. Actually, you know what,
I feel like, it's better letme take care of that like someone who
actually wants kids, I'll take careof it. Don't don't bother yourself with

(27:10):
so like on like the whole transpeople academic or in the like the United
States, it's like, oh,that's a huge problem. But also they're
not having kids, so they're allgoing to die off in two generations will
find you know, my kids werejust gonna because they're not going to deal
with that because the gay people areso Christians tend to have lots of kids

(27:30):
exactly. Catholic families are all hugeor Mennish, any of those, No,
even some families. I mean,I know, but that's like everybody
knows, like the white van family, where it's like the oh, yeah,
like kids in life is to buya big white van that kidnappers with
you. Yeah, that's that's thething. People who own white vans,

(27:52):
they're either like a like a bighomeschool family or kidnappers. Like Dad,
how much money did you spend onthis van? Again? Well, let's
just say if I didn't have kids, I would have bought a Lamborghini with
this money, but instead I hadto buy a one hundred and twenty seat
bus for my family, and onekid still has to ride on the roof.
Yeah, yeah, but going backto the world's perspective, you do

(28:18):
feel the pressure and you feel likeyou're missing out because everywhere you go it's
pushing it like books, media,movies. Yes, yeah, a lot
of the things that you hear nowadayson the internet is like, oh,
if your boyfriend messes up, likeyou make some mistake, or he does
this, or he tries to tellyou what to wear, break it up.

(28:41):
I mean, like, obviously youshould have standards. If someone treats
doesn't treat you right, you gotto get them out of your life,
but you should give a second chance. The thing is, the thing is,
if you're a man, if you'rea single man in America, you're
supposed to be gay, okay,And if you're a single woman in America,
you're supposed to stay single and bea girl boss. Right. Just
not. You know, that's notreality. That's not reflecting of most of

(29:03):
reality, because there are a lotof straight men and women not a lot
of mercy. But culturally it feelslike that sometimes. Yeah, well,
like right now I'm trying to figureout my life and I've want to go
into the business world as an architect, right, but I also want to
be married and have a kid bytwenty six. Yeah, so I'm trying
to figure out that dynamic. AndI might just have a family and then

(29:26):
go to school later in life becauseI do prioritize a family a little more
than architecture, and I could Icould still be involved in design while I'm
raising a family right now. Butit's it's not an either or situation.
You can raise a family and stillwork. Yeah, I mean, I
don't totally want to put my futurechildren into the system of public education,

(29:48):
but there are there are alternatives.I think a stay at home mom is
very important. I want to bea stay at home mom. Like it
depends on where they go to school, because if you put them in a
Christian private school or like someplace likeor Rivendella is where it's yeh or Catholic,
Like I think that's good even atlike a young age, like they
probably should be spending a lot moretime with their parents. But I don't
think both parents should be working,at least in the first few years of

(30:11):
their child's life, because like,yeah, you don't want to put them
in the daycare system, no,no, no, I want to be
a stay at home. I thinkit's such an honor to be able to
provide that for your child. Agree, well, and this goes into something
that will has wanted to talk aboutfor a long long time. Now it
looks scared he wants to talk aboutthe role of the man in the family.

(30:33):
But William, I'm sorry, bro, what you have to wait until
the second segment when we get intowhat the t looks like and all that.
So just hold on. I'm lookingforward to that too. Now the
second segment. It's like, that'show things have been for thousands of years.
Yeah, how is it a controversialstatement? Don't change what works even

(30:53):
in the church though, right,Like it's sort of controversial because anyway,
we'll save it for yeah, wellof ourselves. So what were we just
talking about. Well, there's onemore thing that we want to demolish in
this first segment, and it's standardsthat single people might have for other people
or you know, never mind,So what do you think about where's the
point where standards are just a bunchof laws that you have to follow,

(31:18):
And where's the point where I don'tknow about you, but I'm sick and
tired of seeing all these videos ofgirls being like my boyfriend telling me today
I couldn't wear a bikini to thepool, I'm gonna break up with him.
Oh my gosh. I think thereneeds to be some submitted submittance,
some submittance submissions in that situation,because I'm not for like, oh,

(31:41):
your husband owns your body, butwell I usual respect, Yeah you do,
like it's I don't know, likeit's a it's a what is it,
your body's a temple? Yes,yeah, you need to kind of
keep that. It's it's for youand your husband, Like you really can't
be showing them off to other people, and you have to respect yourself and
your husband by like keeping that.It would be a problem. Well wow,
it would be a problem, problem, a problem if he asked me

(32:06):
to not wear a bikini, butthen he goes around shirtless and yeah,
I mean yeah, I mean yeah, they standards there. Yeah, if
you're gonna have a standard for um, your significant other, you have to
hold the same standard tright. Butthat's not what's that's something that's what I
see a lot on the internet.They'll be like, yeah, you like
it. I see it on bothsides too, Like they'll some women will

(32:29):
tell the man they can't look atany other girls, but like they'll you
know, look at other guys.And then some guys will say, oh,
like to their like girlfriend or whatever, you have to wear this,
this and this, but then they'lljust wear whatever outside naked. Well,
I think it's also a question oflow. When are your standards too low

(32:52):
and desperate? And one are yourstandards too high and unrealistic? Yeah,
my two cents is for physical standard, Like that's kind of beast Like you
can have preferences for like, oh, I want my boyfriend to be tall,
I want to be blondet he's notthose standards Like, it's okay to
have a preference, but those standardsshould not determine who you date at all.

(33:14):
Yeah, that's why I think,like you should definitely. Oh you're
a you're a great guy with thegreat personality, you love the Lord,
you have a great job, butyou're five eleven. Sorry bye talking about
yourself. I know, but Iwould say I'm definitely learning because I can't
honestly say that looks don't matter tome, because they do in a way.

(33:37):
But style matters more to me actuallythan looks, because it shows you
care about yourself. Yeah, exactly. But I also have come to realize
how you can, because at firstwas like, how can someone who is
beautiful and gorgeous in every way endup with like somebody who's not in their
league? Right? And I think, yes, but there are no leagues.

(34:00):
It's stupid. But I was like, how can you fall in love
with someone for their personality? Kindof thing? But now I know that
sounds like really shallow, but Iwas younger and I didn't really think about
it. Yeah, so recently I'vebeen really thinking about that. I'm like,
I can totally see that, andpersonality has definitely become more important.
But also, you know, lovingJesus and willing to go out and evangelize

(34:25):
with me and push me to bea better me, you know, yeah,
right right, And we'll talk abouthow spouses are supposed to help each
other become better means and second segments. I have stuff to say about that,
don't worry, yes, but Ithink that's where we'll call it for
the first seing. I want tosave plenty of time to talk about all
the contesting little issues we have goingon in the second segments, so we'll

(34:45):
be right back after this stupid music. All right, as the expert in
relationships, uh for this episode,Um, they made me introduce this segment.
Expert was the only one who hasmanaged to make my way into it.
Oh, she's calling us the wayto hit me where it hurts.

(35:07):
Man. We shouldn't take that.No, I don't want to do this
anymore, bro. So this segmentis going to be about relationships in the
church, correct, all right,you remembered correctly. Good job. And
you know, let's start out sinceI took Will's thunder away from him earlier
when he was just starting to getstarted on his sexist rant. Yeah,

(35:28):
about the dynamic within marriage in thechurch, and specifically should the man be
the head of the household women belongin the kitchen? So okay, please.
You know, Abigail has this thingwe were talking about. This is
called the death glare, and ina while she'll do it to me.

(35:50):
Usually she's trying not to smile,like, well she does it like right
now, but she will death glareme. And Will just got death glared
that I said the same thing earlierand she was holding back a laugh that
time. Yeah, well she stillis. Oh okay, well I'm not
being serious this time, laughing atyour insolence. It's all. That's a
big word. I wouldn't take that. I don't I don't know if I
truck. I don't know if I'mcomfortable with this anymore. Well, maybe

(36:15):
you belong back in school then,Oh no, something to tell us.
I just graduated. No, butanyway, William, Okay, um rant
I was, I may or maynot be fearing for my life right now,
so I may be a little bit. Uh No, okay, I'm
joking. Well, okay, whenI said that, I was joking.

(36:38):
I don't want women to be slavesin the kitchen. Obviously, darn it,
I thought I agreed with me foronce. Sorry, bro, you're
you're on your own. She's justthere him again, Dan, I wish
we were I wish we were oneof those podcasts that had like a film
set up to Yeah, that wouldmake for such good a bit. But

(36:59):
anyway, moving on, I amquite the hyper traditionalist in that I think
the man should go out and bethe breadwinner, and that the woman should
stay home and take care of thekids and you do all the housework.
That's not to say that is notto say that a woman can't work at
any point in her life. ButI think it is very important for the

(37:19):
woman to stay home and you know, take care of the kids, raise
them, at least at a youngage at the most important. Yeah.
Just once they turn thirteen, they'rethey're not cute anymore, so you just
gotta give them away. Yeah,speaking as a very uncute thirteen year old.
Yeah, no, I'm not.No, when I was thirteen,

(37:44):
Oh my bad. Yeah, Igraduated at thirteen. Guys, I'm so
spared. I think you're unaware.I think you're probably mostly correct. Like,
it's just it's almost like sandpaper goingthrough our brains right now to hear
like women should do the housework.That's just you think that you're gonna get

(38:04):
shot for that or whatever. No, um, but I do agree,
And I don't necessarily think that womenhave to be the ones doing the housework,
Like men can do housework well,but the idea is that the women
should housework is a broad term,yeah, homemakers. I mean, look,
if I see a man vacuuming,I am going to I'm going to
start yelling at him. What didshe do to you? Bro? Bro?

(38:27):
What are you? What's wrong withyou? So you're saying more like
a partnership. Yeah, yes,yeah, I would Resually it should be
like something they agree with, Likejust the husband is like here, this
is your job, like yeah,yeah, the woman that role. Well
yeah, there's a lot of workto be done in a marriage and they
each got to take on different parts. Yeah, and I think it is

(38:47):
the best place for the man togo out and make the money do the
hard work. Well, not tosay that being a stay at home mom
isn't hard, but like the cocash, Yeah, be the provider and she's
gonna stay home and take care ofthe kids. I have heard of some
relationships where they sort of invert that, which ye depends on these It depends

(39:08):
on the couple. It works,Yeah, I think it the couple has
to decide what we're because I knowthere are some women who are like really
good at you know, working right, and I know couples where like the
women is just in a profession wherethey naturally make more than so it makes
more financial sense for them. Andlike there are some there are also some
men out there who are more caringand like better with kids as well.

(39:30):
So now what we're saying that isone of the leading causes of divorce is
the woman making more than the menreally is? Like, it's not it's
most of the divorces or something thatthe women starts to make more than her
husband and she leaves him. Ohwell, that that says that the women

(39:52):
didn't marry him for him to likehelp him. As soon as she saw
that she didn't need him anymore,she just left, which is hmm,
sounds like a problem, but interesting. That is an interesting thing. I
didn't know that statistic right now.I did find some Bible verses, but
I forgot to pull them up,so talk for a minute while I searched

(40:13):
them up on the phone. Iwould agree that because I want to be
a stay at home mum and Iwant to raise my children and keep the
home right. But I also don'twant to be limited to housework because i'd
like vacuuming, but I don't likedoing laundry. So if I have to
do all the laundry all the time. Okay, actually on the opposite,

(40:35):
and I like laundry and I hatevacuuming, it'd be great. Yeah,
I don't like either, but Ihave to do both, and I just
man up and deal with it.Yeah. Well, it's notice because you
know, I have three younger siblings, so they also get to slave away.
But I think that, like I'mdown with the man making the money.
I just want to me personally.I want to work in architecture because

(40:57):
it's a passion of mine because Ilove the design, I love all the
aspects of it. So it's noteven I want to work there for money.
It's just I want to work therebecause it's a passion. But I
believe in seasons of life. Right, you have your moments where you will
stay at home and then I canwork after, Right, So that's what
you have to keep in mind forthe long run of Okay, I'm going

(41:19):
to let him work now, andthen once the children are grown up and
out of the house, and Ican work too because it's what I love
to do. So do you're early, yes, yeah, So you really
have to think long term. Yeah. What it is is that each couple
is going to be different and theyneed to like discuss it together and decide
when they're planning their future, how'sit going to work out? Like when

(41:42):
is like the woman going to stayhome when it's going to go out back
into the workforce and start working.It's it's something each couple needs to work
out for themselves, and you know, hopefully it will work for them.
As long as they have guide toGod as their light, as their guiding
light, I think it will workout for them. Yeah, and it's
a mutual thing. You have tomake sure you have the respect, you
have to make sure you're both gettingme what you need. Communication is like

(42:04):
literally all the problems that come upin like fictional books, it's like,
please just canute. That's why Ican't stand dramas because all the drama comes
from lack of communication. It's like, get better communicated at the I hate
like the main character sometimes because it'slike you can see what's going on inside
their head. You can see likewhat they're not telling people, and it's
like and they choose to not tellthem and it's like all people don't don't

(42:28):
read books that I used to like, and I'm like I can't stand this
person. Yeah, like Isaac,could do you find the Bible verses?
Yeah? I did. It saysin first Corinthian seven, the husband should
give to his wife her canjugal rites, and likewise the wife to her husband,
for the wife does not have authorityover her own body, but the
husband does. Likewise, the husbanddoes not have authority over his own body,

(42:49):
but the wife does. So itis like a partnership type thing,
right, um. Obviously, likeyou know, you used the age old
um illustration of you're in a car. Yeah, right, the man driving.
But the one thing I will notback down on. The man needs
to be the spiritual leader of thehousehold. Yes, right, like,
no matter what. And I'm downwith that, Like, I'm okay with

(43:12):
that. Obviously I still have influencein the household. Well, yeah,
that's not to say that that's notto say that she can't say anything.
She has to just sit in thecorner and just stay quiet. Well,
it says I'm not sure exactly thebiblical reference, but it says like the
man is to treat his wife likeChrist treats the church exactly, and the
wife is to treat the husband likethe church treats exactly. I think it's

(43:34):
the responsibility of the woman to makesure that she marries someone who's gonna exactly
you know, religion, so thatshe doesn't have to worry about That's why
she should marry someone. That's whymarrying somebody with the same values. I
think picking someone based on value isthe most important thing you can consider when
considering a partner because like this,um, this does lead in because like,
well, I just want to getsomething out there real quick. Shut

(43:59):
up, you had your moment.Don't marry a man like will yet.
Wow, now I yell at mymale friends. Okay, good that that
you're y'all assuming that I have femalefriends. Off anyway, I forgot what

(44:23):
I was gonna say. Thanks.Wait wait no I remember, so okay,
you should. The most important thingto consider when considering somebody to marry
is their values, because like,no matter what, you marry them based
off of personality looks like money.If you guys do not have the same
values, you're gonna go down abad road. Because that's especially when it

(44:45):
comes to raising kids. Like youguys are gonna fight so much if your
values are not aligned that it's justyou're just gonna That's why you'll eventually lead
to divorce. Yeah exactly. Imean a house divided against itself cannot stand
that stand exactly. Like when you'regetting married, you're supposed to be one
person, Like two lives are kindof intertwined, so you have to agree

(45:05):
on everything and you have to makethe decision together. It's like you really
have to be someone sync that way. Well, and then that's when Jesus,
like God comes into the picture,right, because three is stronger than
one and two right exactly. Andwith Holy Spirit comes unity because if you're
both listening to Holy Spirit and you'reboth God led, and there's going to

(45:28):
be a unity because you're doing whatGod's directing you to do, and God
isn't going to direct you to dotwo different things. Yeah, well,
can I ask the stupid question?No, you had my permission. I'm
just as much of a member ofthis podcast as you know. I'm just
saying what I want to know.You're not allowed to I want to almost.

(45:50):
Okay, fine, I just thinkNo, we were actually I'm choking.
I'm not actually mad at Isaac.Oh good, Okay, I was
worried. I don't I don't knowwhy ye that you that came out of
nowhere. That was really aggressive thatI usually don't do that. The people
who know me are going to beso confused. Yeah, but you know,
we were thinking about discussing whether youshould day and marry people of other

(46:13):
denominations or if you're a Protestant aCatholic, which I guess I would really
consider Catholic Catholicism to be just anotherbranch of Christianity in the days, it
depends just as much as it doesin the Protestant Church. Like you have
you know, gay loving churches,and you have good Orthodox churches, right,
yeah, but I think it goesback to values, yeah, saying

(46:36):
because I mean, at the endof the day, denominations is just a
stupid word we've coined to settle disagreement. It's like I disagree with you about
baptism. I think that we shoulddrown babies. You think we should drown
it. Well, okay, buddy, that was even by your standards.
That lit there was Christians like Protestantsand Catholics. I think, is um

(46:59):
this sacraments, right, yeah?The um not worship of saints, but
like the intercessory, the prayer.Yeah, and is it the communion?
Well, that's kind of a communion. The Catholic Church is different because it's
like a whole. It's also alsoadditional, like the communion is in the

(47:23):
thing, like they kind of representsJesus. Yeah. In Protestants and I
think some Catholics think it is Jesus. Yeah, And I am really conflicted
about that. Not gonna lie.I've been to a couple of adorations and
stuff, and I'm like, Isimply yeah, because in my mind,
I'm like, Okay, we're notsaying anything about religions. Yeah, no

(47:45):
disrespect Like I respect that. ButI think for me personally, I don't
care what denomination you're from. Youjust need to love Jesus, have Holy
Spirit in your life, listen toHoly Spirit, and let me prophesy because
I'm not giving up my profeticift forsomeone because that's who God may mean to
be. I don't know how youall feel about prophetic ministry or anything,

(48:07):
but if the person is asking youto sacrifice a God given gift or a
God given talent in a big wayand they're asking you to just totally cut
that off, then I think that'sred flag because they're not appreciating who God
made you to be. Yeah.I don't know. I would say it
really doesn't depend as much on thedenomination as it does to people, because

(48:28):
especially the other person themselves. Irefuse to marry a Methodist like that's that's
kind of dumb. You know,different intensities of a religion. Well,
yeah, at the end of theday, if I'm not talking about like
different denominations in terms of the modernlike Lutheran Church or whatever it is the
one that just went crazy all inon Lgbcuston, I'm talking about ones like

(48:50):
different churches that still affirm the Apostles, Creed and yeah, the basics.
As long as you're both affirming thebasics. It really depends on the individual
because you can have two people whoare very heads and think they're right about
everything that's not going to work outvery well. Or you can have two
people who can give a little bitand can realize that they might not be
right on everything. And at theend of the day, as long as
you both have the same ideas aboutraising children, you'll probably be fine.

(49:13):
But um, you know, somedisagreements and it just makes a marriage or
relationship better, Yeah, I thinksometimes because then you're kind of forced to
think through your ideas all that,yeah, instead of just blindly going through
your life. Right, and notthat you need to argue about it,
but it forces you to come upwith like reasons like oh, this is
why I believe this and then youreally have to Another thing too, is

(49:38):
like I'm not so sure that interms of day to day life, denominations
and different disagreements are really the mostimportant thing. Yeah, I definitely think
about it this way, right.Well, if you have a bookworm who
is I don't know, a SouthernBaptist, Okay, and then you have

(49:58):
a globe checker who's also a SouthernBaptist, the globe checker is also an
adrenaline junkie, and they're gonna gowant to go out parachuting and go around
the world every other day, andthe bookworm is just going to be a
homebody who's like, I don't Idon't want to do that. They're both
Southern Baptists. But at the otherend of there's different values there too,
exactly. Yeah, you could haveIt comes all down to what you value.

(50:22):
You could have someone who goes toBethel and some kind of Catholic I
guess, and if they're both homebodies, you never know, that might work
out better than the first scenario.Yeah. I heard a really good analogy
where our main goal is to walktowards Jesus, right, Like that is
our objective. That's who we are, and that's what we need to be

(50:43):
doing. So you can be walkingtowards Jesus and then you meet somebody and
you decide to walk towards Jesus alittle closer to that person, right,
So then it gets to the pointwhere you have to ask, Okay,
can I serve Jesus better with thisperson? Yeah? And so are they
going in the same direction as youas fast as you are? Yes?
You have to seriously assess that becauseyou're supposed to be equal, equally yoked,

(51:07):
and you can't be equally yoked ifhe is on the other side of
the continent in terms of beliefs,right, And so you have to be
walking towards Jesus together and really question, Okay, is this person bringing out
the best in me? And isthis person going to help me follow Jesus
in a deeper way? Right?And are they going to be a benefit

(51:29):
to my relationship with Jesus exactly?Yeah? And then that's when you get
married if the answers yes. Isaw another thing where it was like a
triangle, and like at the twobottom points, you have you and your
other person, right, And thecloser you get to that person, the
top point is God, and like, the closer you get together, you
should be getting closer to God.And if you're not closer together, you're

(51:49):
not heading. A lot of thetimes you just stay at the bottom and
walk towards Yeah, yeah, youdon't want to go that way. You
want to go up together? Yeahyou want to go yeah right, yeah
that makes sense. But let's talkabout single people in the church. Single
people, single people, I don'tknow. I like single people. People
are fun. I'm quite fun there, they're more fun. Yeah. Well,

(52:14):
some people can have their whole personalitycentered around being single, right,
Yeah, but it's true. It'salso yeah, they glorify it or they're
like so intent on not being singlethat it becomes an obsession. But yeah,
because for me, I might havealready said this, but Jesus was

(52:34):
a big reason why I got overbeing single. And I think he gave
me this because in this season,I can't really handle a relationship right now.
I don't know about you all,but I am so busy with my
school, with my family, withfiguring out who I am as a human.
I don't have with my friends.I don't have any more energy ampartant

(52:55):
too, and so in this season. I don't feel like I need to
be looking for someone, but Godgave me an excitement to find someone,
like a treasure hunt, almost,like to discover that person that God has
orchestrated this connection and this relationship with. So I think that we don't need

(53:21):
to be in a rush, butwe also have to keep in mind what
God's calling us to, you know, especially if it's your goal in life
to get married. I do youhave to play a devil's advocate here,
Abigail? Yeah? Oh, howcan I know that there's ever going to
be a season where you will ordo you know that you're singleness? I
could be. I'm not sure personally, right now, I'm hoping i'm not,

(53:42):
because I like it's one of thedeepest desires of my heart to have
a family. I know people whoare in their forties right now who are
single and they want a family.But right now, I think it's a
journey with Jesus. Just yeah,it's a step because right now I'm okay
being single and waiting for the person. But maybe the next step is Jesus
showing me okay, I'm okay beingsingle for the rest of my life and

(54:04):
it just being you and me God. So it's really a step process and
going deeper with God. It's alwaysgoing deeper with God, right, But
yeah, because right now I'm notbashing anybody in my life at all,
but I cannot. I can't seemyself with anybody right now, you know,

(54:24):
And like I said, I literallydon't have the energy like currently I
am slightly struggling to keep my lifetogether as thank you. But adding another
person to that mix is like yeah, yeah, and then you know when
the person comes. There are somepeople who will just say that you don't
I'm still not there yet and thenmiss out right yes, that's at the

(54:47):
end of yes. And I amalert because I want to I want someone
to do life with. I wantsomeone who I go back, I can
go back over this whole timeline andbe like, we've had all these memories
together, we've made a all theseplans together, We've lived life together.
And I want somebody who I canbe unified with christ in, you know,
because there's such that draw and suchthat appeal. So people say,

(55:08):
marry your best friend, yes exactly, So I really, like I was
saying, Mary, best friend,if you get along that well, yeah,
like if I'll tell you, getout of that relationship, marry him.
Yeah, but it's also again listeningto that Holy Spirit is calling you
too, because this year, myword for the year when I asked um

(55:31):
Holy Spirit was intimacy, Not intimacywith somebody, intimacy with God. And
I don't think that I want tomix my intimacy with God and a human
right now, because I'm still human. I'm still forming my intimacy with God

(55:52):
though, And I realized, ifI don't have a good relationship with God,
how in the world am I goingto have a good relationship with a
human like Jesus who loves me unconditionallymatter what the heck I do, whether
I don't spend enough time with himor like I used to do something I
shouldn't. How am I going tohave a good relationship with a human a

(56:13):
guy if I don't have a goodrelationship with God. So I really need
to build myself and that and whatif I'm not what my future husband wants
right now? Right and what ifyou want to be your best self exactly?
And he's probably not the best He'sprobably not the best match for me
right now either, And so it'salso about development and just waiting on God's

(56:35):
time. But I've talked a lot, so yeahs agree. When the time
comes, God will reveal the manyou're supposed to marry to you, yeah,
or the woman or the weird case. No, I actually like,
well, you and I are reallymaking a lot of jokes on this podcast,

(56:58):
are I don't know. I'm tired. It is fun for you too,
Yeah, I was tired. I'mtired, so that's probably why.
Yeah, these are funny. It'sa big Last night was last night?
What was FANCYV? I didn't knowthat was still going. Why it's where
you'll meet your future spouse. There'snot a whole lot of chicks that go

(57:21):
there. I wasn't talking about achick. Oh, you're right, JP,
I'm joking. I know at leastLucas is listening. Lucas, if
you're listening to tell JP, wejust say, there's a Joke's a joke.
It's okay, William, you canbeat yourself around us. Why,

(57:43):
thank you. That's very kind ofyou. It is. But let's talk
about another group of people that thinksthat they're being themselves when actually they're just
destroying modern dating. Yeah, beyourselves by changing everything about you chan your
whole gender. That's how you beatyourself self, but chop yourself up at
the same time. Yeah, boy, and do the same thing to your
kids. Well yeah, I mean, hey, bring the kids into this

(58:06):
obviously. Well, I mean,like Hitler, if you want to control
the nation, you have to controlthe next generation. No, Abby,
I don't know what it is withyou and Lillian and Hitler, but one
of you will hit every debate justlike, what what do you like?
What's the obsessions are like the Hitleryouth? I mean fit Oh oh,

(58:34):
I'm just I'm just saying if theshoe fits or both your comment in mind
about Hitler, but I mean,you gotta learn from history. And he's
like, it's one of the mostawful events in history recently. So yeah,
and it's a pretty obvious consequence.But anyway, that's not the point.

(58:55):
No. I think that we shouldactually compare the LGBTQ movement more to
Stalin, because Stalin barely like carriesany blame in modern society like it's Hitler
Hitler. Look, Stalin probably killedmore people, But the thing is he
fought for what was thought of asthe greater good at the time and right

(59:15):
now he actually had a bit ofa moral compass. Culturally, it's like,
uh, yeah, we're gonna fightfor I don't know, like women's
rights, I guess, trans rights, I guess. Like it's not actually
helping anyone. It's actually not thesocial media people. Yeah, it's the
social media norm, but it's notit's not most of the population. Like
it's a very just a loud people. Yeah, yeah, a loud people

(59:38):
who have no lives exactly, becauseall the normal people who don't believe there,
yeah, the ones working making money, just living, raising their families.
But these people have no life andthey mooch on like their parents and
that's why they have the time togo on the internet come up with anybody
on social media because they're just sittingthere like thinking they're the next big philosopher.

(01:00:01):
How to make everything racist. Yeah, yeah, Well it's sad because
the LGBTQ plus movement is like atotal uh reflection, evil reflection of the
family, right, because they're it'sall about acceptance. Ah, we'll accept
you for who, we love youlike you're amazing, just however you feel.

(01:00:23):
Right. Whereas family, a healthyfamily, they'll accept you and they'll
love you. Obviously there's disapp yeah, yes, but they're taking exactly so
that's like part of the dynamic ofa healthy family. So they're taking and
twisting the pieces they like and turningit into something that's twisted and evil.

(01:00:47):
And but it's so sad to seeall these people suffering because it's a total
attack on family. Because when youhave an unstable nation that and an unstable
family, then that's the format ofheaven, right, It's family. So
you have the two parents and thenyou have the kids, and you raise
the children up to become followers ofJesus, and then they influence the next

(01:01:10):
and so on and so forth.So really, by attacking the family and
being like, oh yeah, allfamily dynamics are okay, you're attacking the
kingdom of heaven because that's not howGod intended it won And it's a sacred
thing because it's literally the words ofGod that came out of his mouth and
with creating humans. And it's terribleto seek because people are always like,

(01:01:34):
oh no, you don't need Ididn't need a mom or I didn't need
a dad, and oh well you'reon TikTok and and do you do need
a mother and you do need afather even like, yeah, single parenting
is a thing and people do comeout of that relatively okay. But it's

(01:01:54):
not ideal exactly. It's not howwe were created to be. But the
past century, like the past onehundred years, has really been pushing a
different family dynamic for sure, RightAnd I think that in some ways,
I'm gonna I'm gonna make an analogyhere. It's like a computer, Yeah,
your computer, right, and computersAmerican society, and right now we

(01:02:15):
have this little spinny you know,the spinney pinwheels, the little the little
things that mean that your computer ishaving trouble. That's like LGBTQ because it
freeze up. It means that something'snot right. Your computer isn't destroyed yet,
it's still working, but it's reallylike, you know, it means
that something not good is going on, and eventually it's just going to take

(01:02:37):
over more and more of American societyand it kind of corrupt more and more
files if we're talking in computer terms, and eventually we're just gonna crash.
America is going to crash um orat least turn into I don't know,
some kind of order old die outdystopian state. Well, yeah, you
really like that idea since none ofthem are having kids or or they're killing

(01:03:00):
them, which is awful, butlike really, I mean it's a plant,
yeah, which is why we needthe government public school system to um
hijack straight family. How does thataffect? I feel like every we say
something about homosexuals, but at theend of the day to day, more

(01:03:24):
gay people means less competition for me, So maybe this isn't such a bad
thing after all. I was sosad, Like I'm not saying anything against
you or any other males, butlike gay men always have the best style,
Like, not always, but Ilike that Stereotypically, a lot of

(01:03:45):
gay men have a good style andbut addressed like women. Well no,
I'm not gonna I'm not dressing likea woman. No, but I see
what you're saying. Yeah, Andit's they're labeled gay because they have feminists
Like yeah, it's because they don'thave to like have the values that men
have, Like they don't have tobe always like the you know, there's

(01:04:09):
like a pressure in society, right, and since they're gay, they think
they don't have those responsibilities. Sothey can focus on things that women tend
to focus more on, like theiryou know, style and stuff like that.
Well, and then it's back too. Sorry to stray away from dating
a little longer, but it's backto the um. It always comes down
to the LGBTQ on this podcast.But you know, it's fun, that's

(01:04:31):
time. But it's the very prominent. You have to be okay with the
masculine woman and the ummin feminine man. Thank you. Yeah, the boys,
but personally, like my brothers,they are going to make they are
going to be very they're going totreat their future girlfriends very differently, like

(01:04:57):
they're both going to treat them well. But like Ellis, my brother is
a little more masculine, right,yea, not a little more, but
he's like very much like a logsometimes. His dream is to go is
to his dream in terms of marryingsomeone is to have a woman to adventure
with. Right to go. Yes, he wants a cabin in the woods

(01:05:18):
and it's that's perfect sweetest thing.And then my younger brother Caleb, he
is very style oriented. He's alittle more on the feminine side, and
he's his dream is speech basically livein an HGTV home with a wife who
loves style and all these things,but any trouble finding one. But uh

(01:05:44):
so it the culture around dating andLGBTQ plus has a lot to do with
it because people's ideals and people's personalitiesand people's wants relationships are being twisted into
something. They're being told, thisis who you are because you have this
right, and it's taking away fromit's taking away from someone they're supposed to

(01:06:11):
be with. I don't exactly agreewith like predestination of who you're going to
end up with, but uh ittakes away from a relationship like the Greek
myth, right, where at thebeginning Zeus had had created the humans and
they had two heads and they weretogether and then they were too powerful,
so they split them apart, andnow they're all looking for their other half,

(01:06:35):
right, And then in Percy Jacksonit says that Nico never was fond
of that because myth because he's gay. But it's the same idea, like
you're taking away from a power couple, if you will, because their interests
were turned and said no, becauseyou're a little more feminine, you're gay,

(01:06:56):
right, Like if perfectly okay forguys to like pink, Like,
stop telling that makes them get that'sfine. Here's the problem I have.
They say, like, oh,gender roles are like nonsense, Like they
say, oh, stereotypes, youget rid of them. Guys are allowed
to like pink, but as soonas the guy likes pink, you say
he's gay. Or on the endof the spectrum, you have like the
the conservatives who are so like sohappy to be mega people, and they're

(01:07:19):
just like, yeah, you knowwhat, if my son likes pink,
I'm going to disown him because I'mgonna buy into the lest that makes him
a woman. Like no, itdoesn't exactly. That's something that's always confused
me though, is that, likehow to feminism and LGBTQ politics fall into
the same side of the political aislebabic, Like when you when you have
someone who realizes that you get JK. Rowling. Yeah, exactly, it's

(01:07:42):
canceled because they're they're actually draft thekind of different ideologies because like feminism puts
out the idea that there are nodifferences between men and women besides biology,
like they're virtually the same, right, good point. Yeah, And then
in LGBTQ they're like, oh,you know, if you're a girl who
likes trucks and you know, moremanly stuff, then you're actually a guy

(01:08:05):
trapped in a woman's body. Well, I mean, if they're the same,
then you don't need to transition exactly. Yeah, what's what's the point
that is gender as a construct?Why are you encouraging people to change their
gender? Like, if gender doesn'texists inconsistent, why do you change?
Why do you know? It's bsAs far as I know, most people
who actually perform surgeries on themselves,they only change to one other gender,

(01:08:29):
right right, Yeah, true,Yeah, it's not like they are a
billion others that they can change surgeryto be non binary. Well that that's
the weird thing is the different groupsand the LGBTQ plus movement don't genuinely don't
support each other usually. Yeah,well you know you have that and they
contradict. Yeah, they contradict eachother all the time. You have like

(01:08:50):
gay people who don't like the GreaterLGBTQ com Yeah, there are a lot
of concert together. Yeah, it'sa weird world we live in, the
truth. Yeah, it's a worldoff. You can't insult someone or else,
You're gone yeah right, yeah,and at this point you need to

(01:09:11):
install people. Sometimes it's for thegreater good. Yeah, I mean Iron
Sharpen's iron. Right. So ifyou're never questioned, if you're never uh
put on the spot, and ifyou never have to articulate your opinions and
your ideas, then you'll never beforced to grow. Right. It's like,
um, if someone like you knowis overweight, Like every time you
tell them, oh, no,you're in great shape, you don't need

(01:09:32):
to work out, you don't needto get healthy, you're hurting them.
Yeah, you're validating, you're validatingthey like you shouldn't be a joke about
it. But every time you say, oh, you don't need to work
out, your body's perfect, howit is, like that's actually hurting them.
Like you need to go over thebody positivity movement. Oh my gosh,
I'm just helping to get shaped.Like, if you really care about

(01:09:56):
someone, you're going to help themand print themselves because no one's going to
be perfect. And you know what, if your priority isn't being healthy,
then that's your life. Like ifyou don't want to go to the gym
every day and lose poundage, thenthat's on you. I really don't care.
That's your life. But but youreally don't need to support that lifestyle,

(01:10:17):
and you don't even need to supportmy healthy lifestyle. Like we're each
individual and who cares. But thenyou know, we have to do what's
best for everybody. So the feelings, you're right, you're right, But
like the masks, Like I'm wearinga mask to protect you, right,
so I need to wear a mask. You're killings? Oh my gosh,

(01:10:38):
that campaign. No, I didn'twear no mask, but both my grandma's
are still alive. Yep, dead, you killed. I actually could never
wear masks because I fainted. Oh, Like I would fall into stuff in
stores, and I'm always like,I mean maybe I'll kill someone that way.
Yeah. My uh family friend shestrowned when she was younger, so

(01:11:00):
she can't tolerate anything near her face. So because otherwise she would like have
a panic attack, right, andso due to the trauma, she couldn't
wear a mask. But that wasa whole thing. She has some crazy
stories like this one lady got upin her face and was screaming in her
face like I'm sorry, I'm tryingto stay six feet away from you.
Yeah. Also if you can smellsomething through a mask. How's it helping

(01:11:24):
with germs really, especially a virusbecause the virus is the smallest single cell.
I thought COVID could go through porcelain. Yeah, so yeah, you're
not helping anyone. Just don't sneezeon people. You're fine. Also,
i've had COVID. Wash your hands, like, I've had COVID three times.
I'm fine. I've had it twice. I don't know about that one.
It got more mild each time.Changed. Well, I'm not dressed,

(01:11:46):
and well, okay, we didn'tknow about dating because we got way
off topica. This ended like twoyears ago. We don't need to talk
about it never started like literally aproblem. Literally, who cares about this
anymore? But back to dating,feminism and the LGBTQ plus community. I

(01:12:06):
mean, at the end of theday, we're witnessing the destruction from the
outside of dating, like the outsideof straight dating. That is, we're
witnessing the destruction by the gay people, the lesbians, whatever else, the
unnatural sodomists. And then we're alsowitnessing the destruction of straight dating from within
the people of straight dating with girlswho have two high standards and people who

(01:12:27):
can't realize that they're being dumb andthat their boyfriend shouldn't be fine with them
having only fans. Wait, soyou know the saying pride comes before the
fall. Yeah, in the veryliteral sense. Every nation that has started
to accept that, like ancient Rome, like gay used to be a big
thing back then and then it fell. And it's kind of a literal thing
in America, Like there's pride goingon right now, and right that's people

(01:12:51):
more because that ideology inverts the familyunit, which weakens the nation, makes
them men more feminine the women moremasculine, and that's not how God designed
us to be. So they're notgoing to be able to fulfill those roles
properly. And then down goes.Then we're not gonna have our gun loving

(01:13:11):
rednecks anymore. So the government's goingto be able to get into here.
That's the thing. There is astructure for men and women like women.
Sure, there's the odd woman whowants who can be in the military.
Right me, personally, I can'tbe. I'm not cut off for the
military, Are you kidding me?Absolutely not. The standards for men in

(01:13:34):
the military and women in the militaryare like so different. No, yeah,
they won't so much. Yeah,here's the thing, like if a
woman, I don't think women shouldgo into the military, or at least
go into like combat. But ifyou are gonna go into the military,
as you should, you need tobe as strong as the man. Otherwise

(01:13:56):
you're not going to be able todo as good as a job. And
that's why you keep the standards thesame for both because actually in the micause
you don't want the best men andthe best woman. You want the best
of You want the best because you'relike soldiers. Yes, yeah, well
if that means less women in themilitary, who cares. As long as
we have the best of the best, then will be good. Yeah,
it's important. Yeah, I havemy family has a family friend who's like

(01:14:18):
an adopted sister to me basically,and she won Drill Sergeant of the Year.
She can. She is not traditionallyfeminine, she has her feminine traits,
but she is cut out to bein the military. I am not
at all. So you really haveto, yes, and you have to

(01:14:39):
gauge yourself. But there is theidea of the man providing for the woman,
and we have to be okay withthat and we also have to understand
that it's not degrading to one orthe other, right, it's just the
roles. Yeah, and how theycan like the gender roles are are a
thing, they're legits. Gender rolesare good. Yes, it keeps and

(01:15:00):
destroying gender roles, I think isactually genuinely sexy. I think that I
think that at the end of theday, you can bend gender roles,
and we see that all the time. Yeah. Yeah, but there's a
sliding skill, right, because you'resaying they're not like strict from guideless a
joke. But yeah, yeah,there's variations in men and women. There

(01:15:25):
are women who are like more physicallyfit who like that more, and there
are some women who like the moretraditional sense of just staying at home and
not even wanting to work, juststaying home all day. Yeah, I'm
done with staying home and making foodand yeah, exactuming he can work and
then come home and do the laundryand then I can like do what I

(01:15:47):
want to do in terms of family. But it's also, like we've been
saying, a partnership right exactly,So it really comes down to the individual,
and it really comes down to us. God's calling you to be m
because you have people Like there's alot of differences between us that sense,
because like I'm not career oriented atall. I'm going to college so I
can make money for my family,but like I have things I'm good at,

(01:16:10):
but like my goal on life isjust getting ready to have kids.
And I think a lot of womenfeel that way, but they're not encouraged
to say it all the time.But it's like do is wait until they've
built a successful career and they're tooold? Yeah, yeah, Like it
just depends on your goal. Whydon't here, why don't you have kids
at twenty? By the time you'reforty, they'll all be ready to work.
Like yeah, if you have kidsyounger retired nowadays, it's difficult to

(01:16:33):
like keep a family going on likeone wage. Like it certainly can happen,
yeah, but it's like very hardsometimes. That's why a lot of
two people work most of the time. So, but there is that time
period where your kids are young andit's so much more important than for them
from like infant to like I wouldsay, like middle school, Like the
start of middle school is the momneeds to be home to like take care

(01:16:57):
of them. And nurture them andmake sure that they're you know, happy,
and you know the mothers can workfrom home. Yeah that's true.
That's that's the one good thing aboutCOVID yea. But now we can do
that. Yeah, there's so manyoptions now. Like um my brother Joe,
he works from home a lot.Yeah, it's part of his job.
So because it's not we can gointo an office, but it's not
necessary to do his work. Samewith my dad. My mom actually got

(01:17:20):
a part time job bookkeeping for asmall business. So she's still working and
making money, not to the samedegree my dad is, but she is
still and she is very involved inour family. So it again, what
are you called to and what's yourpartnership look like? What are you going
to do as partners to provide foryour family At the end of the day,

(01:17:43):
that's what it all comes down to, whether you're dating or married,
or whether you're seventy five, oreven whether you're Huh, that doesn't make
sense, I'm saying. And ifyou're single, you said even if you're
single, she just said it.Who your partner is, Well, Jesus
can be your partners is your partner? Oh well, okay, Jesus,
listen until you find no whoa.No, we'll cut this, Jesus,

(01:18:10):
No, we'll leave it in.We like stuff like this. Okay,
anyway, that's where we're going toleave it for today. Though, Podcast
Listeners was a good one. Itwas awesome. Thank you, Thank you
so much. Have you on againafter your um excursion. Yeah. I
enjoy giving my opinion to anyone.I have loved talking about this. Yes.
Yeah, It's been percolating in mybrain and now I have an outlet.

(01:18:32):
I mean, first you told methat you weren't sure if you really
want to come on, because itjust didn't know people are decent. But
now you're like, oh, yeah, I'll come on. In fact,
when I asked you to come on, you said yes before I finished the
question. All right, listener,good, Thank you for listening. Thank
you to our wonderful guests, andwill and I will see you next time
on the w RITZ podcast