August 19, 2025 • 60 mins
The guys chat about raccoons, waterparks, and if playing pool is actually hard.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What right right right.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Right right right right.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Right right right. Hey, welcome to water Cooler. Oh yeah, baby,
thank you so much for tuning in and hanging out
with us. You know how the show goes, Hi, Chris Lock,
Samana kick it with my CROL digital buds of Yesteryear
with me today. All the way in Austin, Texas, we
(00:30):
have Matt Fondelier here, Hey brother, Hey Matt. And then
all the way in Long Beach, California, like myself, it's
kayleb bean.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hello Ali? And then all all the way No, ho
c a, it's Mike Dawson.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Coming to you directly from Yesteryear.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
That's that's correct.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
In charge.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
So I know, I know everyone's like Gary participating in
the mouth flicks. That's pretty wild. Actually he is not here.
So if you're if people are were on the edge
of their seats wondering why Gary was finally allowed to
I mean, why he decided to do the mouthlicks, then
that would make sense. But unfortunately he's not here. So
(01:17):
stry to get your hopes up. But uh, you know
he's a busy man. It's okay, he has a lot.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
Listen.
Speaker 5 (01:25):
This is why it's great to have five hosts because
we all have a little bit of a different dynamic
depending on the size of the group, and we all
have busy lives, so people get a little a little
different twist each week.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
You know, can confirm yes. So anyway, I mean, look,
I had a I've had a weird I've had a
weird last couple of days. I've been I've been in
my head about some stuff and I want to I
want to get your guys thoughts on this. Okay, so
I've been well, first off, I mean going to the gym.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
N something's wrong with you? Oh yeah, I mean nice.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I So people do, Yeah, it does. People do do that.
You're right, Matt.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
But I wake up at four thirty in the morning
and go like you used to when you work to kroll.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yes, I do, kalinnight.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Okay, Well, good for you.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
That's great. So I've been going.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I'm jealous. I'm jealous of you being able to do that.
By the way, I'm not making fun of you for it.
You used to invite me all the time, and I
wanted to go, but I knew it was never gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Well, I have a theory that if I go super
really want.
Speaker 6 (02:25):
To go, Kalan, I'm not really shutting to want to
go to the gym at four There, you wanted to
want to go, but you didn't really want to go.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Well, if I really wanted to, I probably would have
done it.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
But yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
But my thing is, I just I find myself going
or enjoying it better when it's that early, because I
completely forget about it right after it's over because I'm
just so tired and it's so early, and I still
have my whole day in front of me regardless. So
but I go, I do this workout class in the morning,
right and they kind of have this rule if you
are five minutes late, they won't let you in love it. Yeah,
(03:04):
so and it's I mean, you're getting there. So I
had it down to the exact minute when I have
to leave my house and I can make it there
and still get the maximum amount of sleep possible. It
is a page out of Corolla's uh work playbook and
travel playbook and and everything playbook. Yeah, I mean, yeah,
(03:25):
just just get it down to a signs. But if
something veers from the norm, what a what a roller
coaster life becomes? Anyway, So my alarm goes off. I
wake up, do my normal stuff, put on my clothes,
(03:46):
put on the shoes, walk out the door, and right
by my car, I am greeted by a couple of raccoons.
Just chill it out of my car.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
That is not where I thought the story was going
on in the script.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
That It's not where I thought the story was going
either when I woke up. And this has happened before.
Raccoons certainly, I mean they're nocturnal, it's dark outside. Still
let them, let them roam around. Either thing, And usually
when I go and I walk out, the raccoons scatter.
This time they did not scatter.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Oh boy, you scared them off one too many times.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah, I think they're onto me. Uh so. In fact,
one raccoon got so tense, like just tensed up the
whole his or her I don't know what. I can't
touch a bill whole body, and then starts hissing and
growling at me. I've never even heard a raccoon growl,
but they can growl. Yeah, And I start doing some
(04:47):
math in my head. If I have to fight these raccoons,
that would suck.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
I am just picturing the movie Elf. When uh, Will
Ferrell just gets absolutely ravaged by a fuck raccoon.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Okay, they're gonna say Peter dinklic but yeah that so,
yeah exactly. And I am wearing less clothes than Will Ferrell.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
And elf, you're still but still enough costume just.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
No, actually, well I go naked. Okay, yeah, so I
mean it's gonna be less no matter what he's wearing.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Now.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
But I'm doing the math. I'm looking down like this,
this is the thinnest clothing that I own. It's a
T shirt and basketball shorts, you know, basically Kiln's pjs
or just every day wear slash yeah, slash flounge were
slash formal wear and uh and I think, hmm, I
don't want to fight these raccoons right now. I'm gonna
(05:40):
I'm gonna let them be, and I'm gonna walk away
and start making a bunch of noise from a distance
to get them to scurry. They don't scurry to the
point where I'm thinking looking at my watch like this
is not good. I might be five minutes late, but.
Speaker 5 (05:56):
At a certain point you'll need to be attacked by
the raccoon so that your ridiculous excuse of the raccoons
stop me from being on time?
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Has some payoff for who you have to tell that to.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I've used that too many times.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I think.
Speaker 6 (06:09):
I don't think they're going to give you the raccoon.
The raccoon attacked me, excuse it's five minutes. They don't
listen to your excuses.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:18):
My question real quick is have you already paid for
this class?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
And are you losing money?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yes? Yes, yes, so makes it more difficult exactly. That's
why this is where I get your look. I get
panicked about random things you typically involving money, and it's
all like I can't afford it. I just hate losing
hard earned money for something dumb like I remember, like raccoons. Yeah,
(06:46):
I remember when I when I was working, when I worked,
I'll backtrack even farther, when I was working at a
restaurant and I parked somewhere that I thought, you know,
it's kind of a gamble. But it's like, but I've
been parking there for months and nobody's been ticketing me,
and that's fine. But I remember after work, it's out,
I'm walking, Uh, this girl I was dating back to
(07:08):
her car and my car is also heading that way too.
And I see from afar a parking enforcement vehicle with
the lights on and the little silent siren or the
you know, the lights spinning. I don't know. I guess
it's not a siren if it doesn't make noise. Silent siren,
the silent siren. Yeah, Gary would name that titleist episode,
(07:31):
but I will not. I will not lean into it.
And I remember just seeing that and thinking, oh my god,
they're ticketing my car. And I remember running over there
to stop this guy from ticketing my car, and halfway
through I just straight up had a panic attack and like,
hats just stop, and like I can't breathe right now.
(07:52):
And this is so dumb because it's off like a
parking ticket, but there's some weird principles, so I don't
know what it is anyway, So these raccoons they're not leaving.
I go back to house.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
There's two options I'm thinking of right now. One of
them might not be so nice towards the neighbors, but
I'll throw out that one first, and that is you
just get the lights going on the car, you're locking
and unlocking, and you have a prius. It's probably not
making very much sound, but the unnice neighbor. Option would
be set off the car alarm just real quick. But
(08:22):
that you set off the alarm, you scare them away again.
You gotta do it. Someone might be mad at you
for this option.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I'm glad you bring this up, Kalan, because you're like me.
I know you're like me. We've talked about this where
you are at least like we. We are so self
conscious of being a nuisance to people we don't really know,
almost to a fault to where we will put ourselves.
We will suffer to make sure that they, these people
(08:53):
who don't even know us, can go on with their
lives and not having us affected it in any negative way.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Even in this situation, these people do know you. They
are your neighbors, so that works even more against you.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Like I have a tandem driving spot and sometimes if
Jen is parked first and she has to leave, and
I have to back out my car and I have
to I'll back out my car and I'll put the
hazards on and other car oncoming traffic have to go
around me. But I'm just letting Jen out of the driveway.
I have nightmares about that. Like this is like I'm truly,
(09:28):
truly affected by it, So.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
You should consider doing like some hypnotherapy. They'll just like
break you down. You just got to visualize each step
and being less and less nervous about it.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I've talked to a therapist about it. They like and
they said, let's talk about what your greatest fear is
in the result of being a nuisance to others. And
I said, I have nightmares and just weird flashes of
asking my waiter to bring me one course at a time.
(10:03):
It's like the worst, that's the worst thing I could
think of.
Speaker 7 (10:06):
Us.
Speaker 6 (10:08):
Did you have one of these don't want to bother
people anxiety attack when your car was about to get ticketed?
Did you not want to make the parking enforcement officers
day back?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
No? No, is that nothing? No that No, that's just
I just didn't like losing money.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Okay, good, yeah, good, I'm glad I didn't factor in.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
No, no, no, this this is like a different This
is a different kind of anxiety, a different of men.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I was assuming that because of that anxiety, the car alarm,
even just for a few seconds, was going to go
out the window.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
It is.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
So I'm going to my backup option here, and do
you have a hose nearby.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
And damn no, because I just can't. I just got sprinklers, Kalin,
so I can get the sprinklers. I get the sprinklers going.
I don't think they'll reach it. Maybe they might like it.
So here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
It's rainy.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I got a third option. I got a third option.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I just thought of, let's make love in the rain
and make more of us Jesus all right, solutions keep
them covering.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
Great.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
This one's full proof. And it just came on. And
I don't know why them dancing in the rain made
me think of it. But you go inside and you
get a nice little snack for him, a nice little
loaf of bread, you get something for him. Just toss
that over to the side. So your friends, yeah, oh
actually that's probably, but they might come back.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
The first three ideas were real solid, though, real solid.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah, so I just waited him out. I've made a
bunch of noise. There's just like, wow, there's a there's
we have like make it to your class ring camera
footage are just my hand cut coming out the door
and coming back in, just like trying to make noise.
It's super embarrassing. They finally leave, I get in the car.
I could, like, I could still squeeze this out if
I you know, just run a few yellow and just
(12:01):
really just floor it. So which I do. I you know,
a lot of people people on the road at that time,
so it's pretty wide open. And I get there, I
pull in, I walk in. It is five oh five
and like twenty seconds and I go, I'm here, and
(12:23):
they go, it's past five minutes. Sorry, and I'm here.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
I would cancel membership right then in the area.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
I did not did you tell him about the raccoons?
Speaker 1 (12:37):
So many questions here. Okay, first off, Doss, I did
not say I'm here. I gave a look. I gave
the look. You know, people are listening. I can't just
do the face and expect.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
You got to try to sneak in. Dude. You can't
walk in there and go, hey, I'm here.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Yeah, I'm gonna draw too much attention to himself.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Okay, ok.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I was dude. It was so early, Matt, and I
was so defeated, and I just want to go back
to sleep. So I did not hell, I'm about the raccoons.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Okay, it was just so perfect, exactly the raccoons they're
closing the door.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Well, they were making love in the sprinklers. I'm gonna
be an uncle.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
I tried to feed them. That was a mistake.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
They live there now, change my dress.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
I don't live there anymore. I get anxiety from bothering people.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Well, I'm glad to bring that up, Dawson, because I'm
walking back now, Why walk back to my car in
this this dark parking lot lit by like a lone
a lone light street.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Light lit by the fire that burns like you're shorn.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Yeah, I got to ask to like you said this
was a gym or is it like just a special it's.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Like acau, it's like a bougie workout.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Is there somewhere else you can go to, like get
some kind of workout in because you missed your class?
Can you at least take advantage, like go on a
treadmill for twenty thirty minutes?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
No, no, this is you're in the class and it's
not a gym. It's okay, So it's not a gym,
it's a workout, workout.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
You took a pilates class, Let's be honest.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Not plates. Okay, it's pal a No, it's bar No
what regardless. It's like a glorified pe class and it's
it's like the only thing that works for me, so
I stick with it, but okay for you. I walk
back to my car and just like thinking, this is unbelievable.
(14:45):
I cannot believe how this morning is already shaping up.
And I look and underneath my rear windshield.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Wiper, is it dead raccoon?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I wish, dude curtsy of me. Uh no, But underneath
was a note, And I think, huh, what did that
get there? Because I went grocery shopping yesterday and I
used my trunk. It wasn't there. Someone put an under
(15:16):
my car. Let me grab it, and I went grabbed
it and I went inside my car and I opened
it up, and I'm gonna read it to you verbatim,
because wow, oh.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Boy, I'm getting anxiety right now.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Just picture okay, I'm gonna read it verbatim. This is
this is now five oh six or am, five or
six am. After all, I just after the raccoon stuff
in the gym thing, you parked like an asshole, and
you're lucky I didn't key your ugly prius XO XO heart.
(15:54):
Now I'm like Okay. Now, well, wow, this infuriates me
because I am very as as we've mentioned, self conscious
about being anus and savage. Where I will straighten out
(16:14):
my parking till I am perfectly parallel and equidistant from
the parking lines. It's impossible for me to do that.
And then if I parallel park, I make sure people
have room. I make sure that I'm both tires are
equidistant from the curb. Because when I was younger, my
(16:35):
friend Mikey made fun of me about how I parked
and it bothered me to no end, and I fixed that.
So yeah, I am a great parker, a fantastic one.
So now I'm just retracing my steps, thinking where and when,
and like, I look at the car next to me.
There's only one car park next to me at this point,
and it's like an empty tesla. I'm thinking. Now, I'm
(16:58):
just retracing my steps. I remember, I drive home. I
lie down, try to get some sleep. I can't. I'm
tossing and turning. I can't stop thinking about this note.
This note with I mean, I'm going to assume it's
a girl only because the penmanship is is just awesome,
very very nice. Penmanship really cute to geez x the
(17:21):
xo XO with a heart. Yeah, but you're lucky. I
didn't key your ugly Prius. So it's just me brutal, brutal,
and I shouldn't let her get to me. But oh
did she get to me. I have not stopped thinking
about this note for the last.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
Few because she's faceless to you. You don't know what
she looks like, you don't know who she is. That's
why it's going to bother you. Yeah, yeah, we got
to find this.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
We find it.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
We have to find this girl.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
And I just.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
We have two clues.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
We have two clues, uh discernible right there out in
the open clue number one.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
She does not drive a Prius.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Right clue number two. And and something we can confirm
that other people have said was, oh, maybe someone just
took that from another car and put it on yours.
But it calls out my car.
Speaker 6 (18:14):
No, no, no, that's a yeah, that's a red herring.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
That's a real psychopath move right, take a note off
one person's car and then put it onto another person's car.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
And then who now, Chris, had you done that?
Speaker 6 (18:29):
It might have alleviated some of the grief because the
jokes on that other.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Person, because you put it on someone else's car.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
To Chris's point, was the case they point out the prius, what.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Was funny about it? I thought, you don't find a
priest just put it on a Mustang and they go,
what the fuck?
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Pri what is this?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yeah, they're wildly confused by it.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Oh well, and then I did think about the just
the chaos psycho theory of like what if someone just
writes that on my car, put it on my car,
my driveway, Like let's mess with this guy. Yeah, you
know that crossed my mind too. Some people just like
to watch the world burn. So as we all know, so.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Is your car blocking the side? Does your car block
the sidewalk when you are like your tandem.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Chet it is? But no, and I make sure Gen
pulls in all the way. We've had We've had a discussion.
You got, I can't. I can't have my butt sticking
out onto the sidewalk. So anyway, as I said, just
bothering me to no end.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
And yeah, yeah, that like from a bathroom, it's like
a hand towel, like paper hand towel.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Oh is that you think I thought it was a
paper bag. But you're right, it looks like like the
recyclable paper hand Toels Matt, the Detective Matt case.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Definitely girl writing.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Now, definitely that g and ugly.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
Well, this is just indicative someone else who had a
very a bad day.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Yeah, and they were taking it out on you.
Speaker 5 (20:02):
Now, I think the key to solving this mystery is
figuring out at least several locations that it might have
occurred at, and then trying to get the security footage.
You have to tell them that you got into a
car accident on this day, and it would be really
helpful if I could just see any security footage you have,
(20:24):
and then you just fucking go from place to place
until you find that person.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Well, you said you had gotten groceries the night before
and you didn't see it on the back, so it
had to have either been outside of your house in
your driveway or at the workout.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
It could have been the worst I was. I was
there for like twenty seconds.
Speaker 5 (20:44):
Let's not discount the raccoon stress. You yourself explained what
a mental case you were.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
At this point.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
You had just been dragged out by two security guards.
You could very well have had this terrible parking job
and been just so ready to go back home.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
That you don't realize that you parked terribly.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
No, because I looked at it when I when I
got the note and went I looked at to see like,
oh did I park badly?
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Did not?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Did not?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
So anyway, so it didn't happen at the gym, I know.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, I can't.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Believe the place of what happened was in your own driveway,
in my driveway. This is leading me back to the gym.
Speaker 6 (21:21):
And you can't park like an asshole on your own
drive really good, I should start to I'm gonna start
leaving notes on my neighbors cars in their own ride
and tell them you parked like an asshole.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
So saying, man, chaos, it's just chaos.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Anyway, you couldn't have a second car in this two
car garage if you.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Tried anyway, So I guess I need some cheering up.
By the way, if anybody has any any theories, please
let me know. I no, the raccoons did not write it,
all right, I just try to try some Matt to
pitch that as a lady for the whole time. But anyways,
(22:06):
I need some cheering up, So dots. You got some
news this morning.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
Yeah, news fucking I mean all in it's not it's
not awful, but it's uh, it was really crushing to me.
I get up this morning and I checked my text
messages and there's one from my boss on the Rock Cruises.
And as you guys know, on Friday, I was supposed
(22:30):
to get on another cruise ship and fly out on Thursday,
and it was going to be a seven day cruise
and we had all the time in the world. It
was actually going to be the closest thing to a
vacation I had in the last twenty years, and uh,
it'd be really nice.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
I was really excited.
Speaker 6 (22:48):
The text says they can't get the ship into the
Boston Harbor because of the hurricane. Ships not leaving until Sunday.
Now seven day crew in a matter of sets. Seven
day cruise with plenty of time turned into a five
day cruise of thirteen hour days. Oh and I was
(23:10):
I got packed last night, I was ready to go.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Everything was cool, and then I woke up to that
this morning and it just ruined my entire day.
Speaker 6 (23:22):
And it's all it's you know, I mean, they're before
anyone says, hey, man, I'm sorry about your cruise. I mean,
think about the words that you would have just spoken.
I'm still going on a fucking cruise. Like it's not
the worst damn news in the world.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
But you're working thirteen hour days on a cruise.
Speaker 6 (23:39):
Yeah, now now, and they over they they went seven
days so they could, but they still overbooked a five
day cruise for seven days, but they didn't, and so
and then I fucked myself because they said, see how
much it would cost to change your flight and then
(24:01):
let me know before you do it. And so it
was something I Delta only charged like two hundred and
forty five bucks. And I told him what it told
her what it is, and she said, okay, go ahead
and change your flight. That's cheaper than a hotel. And
I'm like, all right, yeah, that's that's fair. That makes sense.
I look at flights and I just wanted a non
stop and the only one that was close to what
(24:29):
or compatible you know, with the only the two hundred
and forty four dollars fee leaves Lax after three and
gets into Boston at midnight, and then at seven o'clock
the next morning, I'm getting on a fucking cruise ship.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
And it begins.
Speaker 6 (24:47):
It's going to be the worst twenty four hour lead
in to one of these fucking cruises I have ever
been on. I should have And I was just telling
Matt before we recorded. I was like, I shouldn't. I
shouldn't do these things first thing in the morning. I
should fucking think and not. I'm always just fucking reactive,
(25:11):
like just do it, get it done, get it done,
instead of paying attention to the fucking details and thinking,
you know what, maybe I should get to Boston around
four pm, even if you know there's a stop somewhere
so I can get some fucking showd to or something.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Now, dude, I'm gonna get in there at midnight.
Speaker 6 (25:28):
There'll be a couple of stragglers up, you know, but
I'm gonna get in. I'm gonna have to go fucking
straight to a hotel and just fucking like, okay, hello Boston,
fucking lame, lame.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
I'm so I'll get over it.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Then try to figure out a way to still find
some free time in a thirteen hour days is tough.
I remember I did that on the Seattle Corolla cruise.
I really overworked myself to where I was I had
to be at every single event that we threw, and
I had to run it and produce it. And I've
never been more tired of my life than that goes.
(26:07):
So my advice is, yeah, still figure out a way
to squeeze out some some Dawson time out of there.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
And I squeeze out some Dawson time brack, you know
what I mean. Off the side of it, I had
back of the cruise.
Speaker 6 (26:26):
No that it was going to be fucking great because
since it was a seven day cruise, they asked, they said, uh,
you know, we need our host to do more. So
they said, what do you guys got? And I came
up with this idea where I do a radio show
to music videos that will be playing on a big
screen behind me, and I'll be you know, hitting the
(26:46):
post on him and doing like the toolbox kind of style.
And and I put six of those hour long edited
music videos together with old class MTV bumpers perfectly faded
into one another, and it's I clicked play on one
(27:07):
file and then the computer.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Just does that.
Speaker 6 (27:10):
I don't have to worry about overdriving any computer trying
to find videos and throwing stuff up. This is all
done in pre production, and then I got my script
and I can talk. I may be able to do
three of these with the schedule that we have. Plus
I developed a game show based on song lyrics that
I was really excited to run. But we were gonna
(27:32):
have four fucking rounds of this game show. And I'm like,
I haven't told my boss yet, but I have a
feeling that we're not doing it. I'm like, if there's
one thing to take out, let's you know, let's get
this down to one round.
Speaker 5 (27:47):
And well, I hope you learned you never prepare anything, right,
you know, like, why bother trying?
Speaker 4 (27:56):
Man?
Speaker 1 (27:57):
That's a good life lesson, Matt, Thanks you Life Lass people,
Little Life Hackey. Yeah, did your game show involve any
sort of dice?
Speaker 4 (28:08):
No, it's all right, Well you got time to rework it, buddy.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I'm glad to base around song lyrics. It's pretty fun.
I think I think it will actually work.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Well, just have a Patreon we we I want to
hear more about it because maybe you run it.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
And we can do one round on Patreon. All right,
I'm glad to do that.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
All right. Well, Dos, I'm sorry that the cruise has
been truncated and.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Still okay, and that is the word dude.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Man.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Well, so before the MIC's heated up, Dawnson said, I
can tell you the terrible news I got and uh
on this show. I said, okay, that sounds fine, and
then Kaitlin less than a second later, goes, oh, and
I'm at I'm operating at peak life right now and
I would like to talk about that I experienced. So, Kaitlin,
(29:01):
why why did you offer this? Uh? What's going on?
Why are you why did you experience how did you
experience peak life?
Speaker 3 (29:11):
I should amend it a little bit too, but it's not.
It bleeds over. It bleeds over, and I'll talk about that,
but I should, technically, I guess, have amended it to
peak parenting life.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Okay, way less.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
I was going to wine a little bit, but now
now I think I'm gonna do it right now.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
I think I'm going to get more wine.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Uh yeah, I just think.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Really he's really getting up believing asked you that and
then he just revealed the chair.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Looks like that was a bait and switch. Kaylen, that
was a total bait again, But.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
There's bleed over here. There is bleed over here.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Sir, and I won't that mean but all except well.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Can I start you off, because then if we're doing
that I experienced. Well, actually, let's wait for Matt to
get back. Let's talk about other stuffs. I want him
to fully, fully embrace this as as much.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Well, okay, I'll just tie in. I'll just do a
little a little tease, and I will say one of
the best moments in my.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Life, I love You're gonna tease You're seconds. It leads it,
it leads it.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
I would say, one of the best moments of my
life where I had the most fun in the world.
We've talked about it on the show is when we
were on the cruise and I think it was me
and Mikey. It was after some event or something and
me and Mikey walked out onto the front deck and
we saw that water slide on the cruise and it
was completely empty, and me and Mikey ran through the
boat rallying the troops that we are gonna all start
(30:45):
going down this water slide. And for half hour forty
five minutes it was all the croll of people doing
nothing but going down the water slide together and it
was it was amazing, it was glorious.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
I have a good cruise story too. Maybe I'll say
for the meetup, because I don't think that was the tea.
I don't think. I don't think I'm allowed to tell
that story on any sort of air, But for the
met I'll tell a cruise story. Now, Matt's back, before
you get into your Kalen, if we're talking about peak life,
experienced peak life, I did that today.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Parenting life.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Oh peak, yeah, want me to get up again.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
I didn't tell the story.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
It was when I it's it's actually every second, Kaleen,
when I look into my kid's eyes and I just
realized how beautiful life is.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
So for Blake's birthday last year, we went to Soak City.
It was the Notsberry Farm water park that you have,
and they weren't uh you know, they couldn't swim. They
had no swim they had classes, they didn't go well,
they could not swim at all.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
At the water take your kid.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
I've learned that they have well, they have like a
little kids area that's like for kids like three to
six or seven, and they have kind of a bigger
kids area that's like you know, six to ten sort
of thing, And so we went to the little Kids area.
Last year wasn't very good there, like, wasn't really any
There's a couple shitty water sides for them to go down.
At one point, I think some kids shit in the water.
(32:20):
They had to empty the whole thing out for hours,
so we couldn't even go into like the little Little
Kid area. But I will just say when I think
before even Isla was born, I was like, I cannot
wait until my kid goes down their first water slide.
(32:40):
I need to be there for that moment. So this
year for Blake's birthday, we go to a different water park.
It's called like Wild Rivers. It's an irvine sure, and
it is perfect for a fucking five and six year old.
The water slides that they have in the little Little
Kid area are amazing. They have like three different sets
of them. They like kind of a more straight down one,
(33:01):
they got a twisty one, they got an enclosed one.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
So there any themes are is there? Is it just
the slide or is there some like decoration as well?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yeah? The courses?
Speaker 1 (33:12):
How many courses do you get?
Speaker 3 (33:16):
So?
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Is there a door?
Speaker 3 (33:20):
No doors? No doors anywhere? And we go into this
park and we go on Thursday, so all the kids
in like Anaheim and the surrounding area have gone back
to school already. So we go into the park and
there's fucking nobody there. Nice, there's nobody there. It's eighty
five degrees. It's perfect. It's just hot enough, like when
you're in the sun, cool down. Just we and then
(33:42):
we sit down and we get front row seats to
the kids area. And I will just say peak parenting life.
It's the greatest thing about being a parent is showing
your kids like a new thing. Yeah, showing your kids
a new thing. That's fucking awesome. And now they've had
swim lessons. They can go underwater, and they were like,
holy fuck, look at these water slides. And they played
(34:03):
on those fucking water slides over and over and over again,
and it was having the fucking time of their life. Well,
I was drinking a beer front row just watching them
do it. Didn't need to hover over them. They could
fucking do everything themselves. And then had a little bit
of a buzz and he's like, Oh, I'm gonna take
them into the h the Lazy River. I was like, great,
I'm gonna go hit some fucking water slide. Yeah, no
(34:28):
lines down all the fucking water slides. Amazing, grab some
fucking lunch, went back and I was like, I don't
think it gets any better than this. This is like
the greatest as a kid, like discovering water slides and
good water slides for five years, great water slides, and
then me in the meantime just going off and hitting
water slides with no line. I just don't see how
(34:48):
it gets any better than that.
Speaker 5 (34:50):
You're right, I mean, if the slides had themes, maybe
it would have been like an extra step better.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
They should have.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
I h yeah, I've that sounds incredible, law in that.
I'm so happy for you. Actually, the only thing I
think of is like, I don't know, Matt, you you
go to water You've been a water park out there? Right?
Speaker 4 (35:09):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, yeah you do water park?
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Yeah you guys.
Speaker 5 (35:12):
You guys made fun of me because I went to
one that was like on a lake and it wasn't
you know, two extravagant.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
There were only three or four slides, but.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
All coming back to me. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
Yeah, But I.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
Will say when I I went to crime Con on
a business trip and I stayed at some you know
Hilton or Airport, Mariott or whatever, and they had a
water slide and I was all by myself and I
had some time to kill and I just went to
the pool bar, have myself on my tie, went down
the water slide, like stood underneath the waterfall like I
was seven years old. And again I'm not a parent,
(35:45):
but that was one of my peak moments.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
So I know what you're feeling, Kalon. I will post
water slide buzz.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Oh so good, and I will say too when I
say there's nobody there. Of course there were some people there.
There were some people there, but I didn't wait longer
for ten minutes for a slide. But every time I
did wait in line first slide, I was surrounded by
eleven year olds. It was a bunch of eleven year
olds and it was pretty funny.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Still, thing missing from Matt's story is his dad just
sitting poolside watching Matt just enjoy that that water slide
and then going under the waterfall getting his hair wet,
and his dad just sitting there just smiling, popping a
dente and ice you got from Kelson's. Oh man, this
is this is a living So that's almost a peak
(36:28):
peak life moment from Matt as well. The only with
water parks I just can't get out of my my
brain the amount of urine that I think I'm just
waiting it does that bother you, guys.
Speaker 8 (36:42):
No, it's constantly being filtered, so it's it's okay, yeah, okay,
it doesn't bother.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Me too much. We all be like with the ocean.
Speaker 5 (36:58):
Like the ocean, there's like animal oh yeah, pooh and
all kinds of terrible things, but like the ocean is
still awesome.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
The only place you're really I think, getting it is
the Lazy River. I feel like everywhere else in the
water park you're probably fine unless you get into this
that kids area as well, But as an adult, the
Lazy River is the only place you're gonna you're gonna
experience that.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
That's the rise. They don't have those signs that every
hotel has where it's like if you've experienced diary and
in the last ten days.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
I don't think any kids would be allowed in the park, then.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Please do not get into our pool or like or
please get out, which is like always funny if like
a guy just gets out, like oh oh, read the sign.
I gotta go, guys, sorry, yeah, but yeah, always a
weird sign that they and they have those maide and
some very big letters. So some people people have ruined
things and we now have to accommodate them with the signs.
(37:51):
All right, look, we have some comments here, we have.
I mean, Kaitlin, you you made a lot of noise
by talking about how you wear other people's boxers and
how you accept use boxers from people and they're gifted
to you. So people before are really into that. I
want to read some comments and then and then we
(38:13):
can go ahead and record Patreon a little bit. Alrighty,
and I'm going to start with some comments from our
Patreon page. And if you're not subscribed to Patreon, please
rethink that because for as little as five dollars a month,
(38:35):
you get ad free episodes, an extra episode every week,
and then opportunities for movie clubs, meetups and things like that.
All right, let's see here Colin Jackson's first. All right,
thank you, Colin. You know it's because I read them
that they that they still happen. Right, Let's see here.
(38:57):
Clay Taylor says, this is Kand's signature episode and possibly
the greatest free episode ever.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
So you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Nice shot.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, Zerses aka wheatbread, says am I the only one
taking note of Caitlin's evolution as a podcaster, great content
beam and he also asked if you still have those
ASU shorts, which I believe you do.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Of course, yeah, I showed them on. It might have
been a patron but I showed them a couple episodes ago.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Meadow Rights, She writes, wearing your neighbors underwear is so
fucking funny. I just had a near death experience from
almost choking to death on my breakfast, So Caylen, I.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Mean, hey, I will say that those boxer breeks got
years of use out of that they got. I think
I still I think I still have them. Actually they
live on I could look for them right now.
Speaker 4 (40:04):
Also, I like the.
Speaker 5 (40:05):
Little subtle nod to hear that she enjoyed here. She
enjoys our show while they eat breakfast that morning radio.
Speaker 4 (40:11):
That's nice.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
You know, it's a lot nicer than everyone who's like, oh,
I love listening to your podcast. It puts me to sleep.
And I mean, either way, we still get the download,
so that's fine. Jacob more or less the two what
he wants to say regarding yous underwear. Whenever my own
boxers get too used and full of holes, I will
(40:33):
run them through the wash one last time and then
play tug a war with my dog because he likes
to rip clothes. My roommate thinks it's weird because it's
my boxers, but I also do it with spent socks.
So spent socks that's just not the adjective you want. Yeah,
(41:00):
I let's see Andrew That one guy Richmond says, I'm
a couple episodes behind, but I just heard your pizza
tod In regards to Hawaiian with Hallo panos, Gary, did
you give it a go? Oh? Well, Gary's not here,
so I'm gonna guess he did. Not a lot of
people loving Leslie too, so you know David bros Houer
Spensic Knights is damn it. So no Leslie on the
(41:21):
Patreon uh, a lot of a lot of Leslie stuff
in the In the comments, Eric Laporre says, am I
the only one that keeps a jar of anchovies at
the house?
Speaker 5 (41:34):
Well, certainly in this group. I speak for myself, of
course I would.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
I might get some next time. I think it's bad
for my gout though.
Speaker 5 (41:42):
So I gotta say I was not here during this discussion,
but you know I listened, and I had a friend
who ordered anchovy pizza as part of like our shared pizza,
like we're gonna have we're gonna have a pizza together,
like get a large pitza and I got like half
pep around and he gets half ancho, Like what the fuck?
Speaker 3 (42:04):
I just right, man, I thought you meant like.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
He was but permeated like the pember.
Speaker 6 (42:15):
I believe we had this exact same conversation on this
podcast not too long ago about pineapple on a pizza
and why I would never allow someone to do half
pineapple on a pizza because it contaminates the pizza with pineapple.
And I believe you guys all said I was insane
and crazy, But I.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
Can see Matt's point much more than I can see yours.
I feel like, but for the most part, you're okay to.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Make a fruit salad.
Speaker 6 (42:44):
I'm gonna make a fruit salad over your pizza next time.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Before I serve.
Speaker 4 (42:48):
It to you, I'm saying, pineapple not that sticky.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
It's not it would permeate and good.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
If you do get a pineapple on a slice on
your side. It does, the flavor is still there. You
can't can't get rid of the pineapple flavor. So I
see where you're coming.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Like if if if Dawson, you and me split a
pizza and you got half pepperone in yours and I
got half ship on mine, you would.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Yeah, right, you gotta.
Speaker 6 (43:16):
You have to keep in mind that whoever's making the
pizza is not being very careful to make sure that
it's only half ship.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
There's gonna be shipped all over that.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Pizza, regardless, even if yours was pristine. I don't I
don't think you take a bite, but you know there's
only on way to find out. Let's let's hear Mike
Janiels says Kaitlin. I have no problem to get you
an email to let you keep the Hulu check your
Facebook messages and we can get it sorted.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
I just I don't check my messages off. But I
did see that he that he sent that message a
day or two.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
I'm looking at our listen.
Speaker 4 (43:54):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
I still feel like it's going to be and I
still feel like I'm a nuisance. He even gave me,
he gave me his direct phone number. He's like, you
can text me anytime so we can get the Hulu
account situated. So I'm probably gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Yeah, well, I know Gary turned the podcast off just now,
so it's fine. There's a new alien show on Hulua
that I really.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Want to see.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Let's see. Jeremy Clay Bass says, I used to only
wear the cheapest boxer briefs I could find. My wife
spoiled me with Deluth trading buck naked, and I become
an underwear diva. Ever since, I won't wear anything else. See,
that's the dangerous thing. You don't You don't want to
become the underwear diva then, I.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Mean that's what happened to me with Tommy Johns. I
can't wear anything else.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
It's like I'm happy that I can't really tell the
difference between awesome wine.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
But you'll take us to Tommy Johns.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
Oh fuck yeah, seen it movie, junkie. I still laugh
about that video, Kailin. I will watch it every once
in a while because it I don't think I've ever
laughed harder, like just sitting on I remember I was
just sitting on a couch with Jen and I was
(45:09):
crying when we were for those who don't know, Calyn
made a Tommy John video at Corollas and he was
very funny, and he pulled his pants down in it,
and his boxers just had so many holes that I
had to like edit around them.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
And well, all these years later and given the video
here last week, you know that I have not changed
my ways.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
It breathes better. Movie junkie of SLC says, I can't
wait to hear the flicking on weapons. It was so good.
Also went to pre screenings this week for Nobody Too
and Relay, both fantastic movies. Nobody Too not quite as
good as the first, but loved having the family more involved. Also,
(45:53):
I saw together it was weird.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
Oh boy, Okay, so that's the Franco.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard it's good. But I'm gonna
I'm gonna take his word on it.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
But he's seeing a lot of movies, I guess. Yeah,
I get for some reason, my movie on.
Speaker 4 (46:14):
The Street got any movies.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Give me a movie unspeakable things for.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Unspeakable for a movie.
Speaker 6 (46:26):
Yeah, and you know somebody five somebody fucked with him
the other day and gave him a fucking laser disc.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Here you go, dude, He's like, you, son of a bitch.
Speaker 4 (46:41):
How am I supposed to watch this?
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Uh, let's go to the Facebook group, Facebook dot Com
slash group Slash Bobo Boy Army Worldwide l l C.
Please join. If you're not part of it, it's free
to join. My favorite place on the Internet. Joe Wagan
or Joe Cool as we know him, he submitted Aladdin
to the Urban Dictionary. I talked about this on a
I Believe Patreon show where I had some bread stolen,
(47:07):
and I said, oh, we just got aladdened, and now
it is officially in the Urban Dictionary. So thank you joke.
Please look for it Aladdin apostrophe d Aladdened show. Come
right up, let's see. Brett Craigan now says I just
listened to the pod where Brett broke down Cleveland. Remember
(47:29):
I read from Bust. It makes me feel good.
Speaker 4 (47:31):
I'll never forget. I'll never go there because of you, And.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
Brett says, I've been a Clevelander my whole life. You
are accurate. Look, I know I apologized about Remember this
is all what was told to me about Cleveland, not
my own personal thoughts. But not one person from Cleveland
or like they've not defended it and said, hey, you're wrong,
(47:57):
So I don't know. Lastly, let's Ryan Roberts says, I've
been playing in a casual eight ball pool league for
around ten years. Tonight I got my first run out.
I did not miss a single shot. It's pretty exciting stuff.
Speaker 4 (48:17):
Amazing.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
Dude, Matt knows what that is because Matt played pool
on his iPhone for years the podcast.
Speaker 5 (48:25):
Dude, I had made almost five million dollars, but it's
not his career.
Speaker 4 (48:31):
Yeah, get that's pool is extremely difficult.
Speaker 6 (48:36):
Well, not extremely I mean no, it's extremely difficult, really
extremely difficult.
Speaker 2 (48:41):
No, not extremely difficult.
Speaker 6 (48:45):
Something if you have if you have access to a
pool table, it's fairly easy.
Speaker 7 (48:52):
I guess the extremely difficult it's just geometry. Really, I
think it's pretty difficult. But a runout, see, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
This rule is weird to me because it's so unfair
for the person who didn't get to break if they
just lose just by existing, like, there's no there's no
way they can retaliate, there's no like.
Speaker 5 (49:20):
Let me let me tell you, man, when you have
a million dollars on the line, and then that should
happens to you it's there's no worse feeling.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
I can't imagine, Matt. I mean, that was a pretty
dark time. I remember.
Speaker 4 (49:38):
At the five Millionaire Cue, I wanted.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Chris.
Speaker 6 (49:42):
What you're talking about is pull on a professional level.
But when you're on like I just kind of a
bar skill level, It's it's rare that that happens. But
sometimes you'll wait like three games to get quarters to play,
and then the guy will break and then he'll put
way fucking eight balls and then you're done.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
And yeah, there is nothing more frustrating than that. But
it is, uh, it's not the norm, it's the exception
on you know, so small level.
Speaker 1 (50:14):
I find it weird. Then if it's the exception and
you're talking about like playing at a bar versus professional pool.
But Matt says it's extremely hard, and you're just like
not hard at all. You're you're talking you're talking about
like blooden quarters in a bar, a bar table. Yeah, well,
(50:36):
I'm saying there is there are professionals who I think
it is extremely hard.
Speaker 4 (50:40):
I'm with Matt.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
I think it's extreme. I mean, and Matt was a
professional for a while, making millions.
Speaker 5 (50:46):
I think there was a further comment within that comment
in the Facebook group where people were it's something to
do with like whether or not you should have a
pool table something like that. I think that was a
good continuation of the pool conversation, but I can't remember exact.
Speaker 1 (51:00):
Let's see, Oh, Jacob Morales says, is it a power
move to have a pool table in your house?
Speaker 2 (51:06):
There you go, and now it's a power move to
have a pool table in your barn.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
Yeah, that's that's true either way. I mean, you just
need so much room, like there, if we go, If
we talk once again about playing at a bar, there
is very little more embarrassing than asking somebody to move
because you gotta get you gotta get a shot in,
and now everybody's watching you, and you have to bother
be a nuisance to this person to have them step aside,
(51:38):
maybe put down their drinks so they can get out
of your waist, so you can pull that queue back,
go ahead, launch that que ball and just airball it
or just do a terrible shot. And it's like all right,
we go. Now we just move one of their lives.
And I'm sorry for bothering you make you do that,
like so I get it. You just need you just
need more room. Like, if you have a pool table,
(51:59):
you're gonna need so much room around it. So it
is a power move, I think, because you're just bragging
about how much square footage you have in a certain space.
So I do want one, though those are comments. Thanks
all right, So.
Speaker 2 (52:15):
But Chris, the pool is so hard? Why do you
want that in your house?
Speaker 1 (52:19):
So I can get better? Golf is very hard to
and I love so.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
You can get better at it. It's not so hard
that you can't get better, right, You can.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
Get better if you practice anything. Well, what is hard?
Speaker 3 (52:33):
Pool is so much easier than golf.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
I feel like this is absolutely man.
Speaker 3 (52:38):
If you are an amateur golfer, you are not having fun.
Speaker 6 (52:41):
Like the only thing easier than shooting pool is throwing darts.
It's like the only thing that's technically easier.
Speaker 1 (52:48):
I don't know, man, I played darts. I'm not very good.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
I do love it though.
Speaker 2 (52:51):
It's the same kind of concept though, point aim you
know shoot?
Speaker 5 (52:57):
What same about darts is like really embarrassing because you
just like you end up hitting the dude's wall, you know,
like instead of going anywhere near the board, and then
you have to just be like, uh, fuck, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Either way, there's some shame involved. I
don't know. It's pool hard? Is pool? Would you consider
with the eight ball run extremely hard and.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
Hard as any how many of you guys very hard?
How many of you guys have done it? How many
of you guys have won a game on eight strade
shots in a league like?
Speaker 4 (53:32):
Not in a league, not in a league like on
an iPod.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
No, I've done it. I've done it under ten times,
but i've done it so.
Speaker 5 (53:45):
By I've also done it under nine times that they're
under two times. I might even ranger to say under
one time.
Speaker 2 (53:51):
I've done it at least five times.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
In real life. I've I in my when I when
I would break, I have some the eight ball in
on a break, and I'm pretty sure that is an
automatic win. At least we played it that way, so
that was pretty sweet.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
That's it. I've done that a couple of times as well.
Speaker 1 (54:11):
All right, Well, anyway, yeah, sound off? Is pool hard?
Because we need we can't. We can't agree.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
It's resounding. No, it's not hard.
Speaker 6 (54:21):
It's probably the most accessible sport people pull in a wheelchair.
Speaker 1 (54:28):
I have some trick shot Instagram accounts, and I am
going to send you all right, well, why don't we
go around the horn?
Speaker 2 (54:34):
That kind of ship is not easy, right, which which
makes it which then makes it hard to do that.
But that's not playing pool. That's doing trick.
Speaker 1 (54:47):
Shots, okay, but not playing a ball run is easy?
Speaker 2 (54:52):
No, it's oh, then it's then I wouldn't say it's hard.
I'd say it's not easy. It's not hard. If all
of your shots line up, fucking great, there you go.
It's easy. You just got to keep making shots. It's
super easy. Just keep making shots.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
You are going to be my if I you're next shot.
Let's Dawson with that kind of confidence, I think you're
an amazing pool player.
Speaker 2 (55:20):
Let's go to I never said I was good, freaking
said I was good. It was easy.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
We'll play like good cop, bad cop, and I'll you know,
or sucky cop and awesome cop and I'll just be like, oh,
I don't what is this pool. It'll be like Whiteman
can't jump.
Speaker 6 (55:34):
My uncle had a table in his barn and uh,
and we played hundreds and hundreds of games every summer
for like a decade. M And then you know, I
just don't go to bars anymore that much. And I
don't know anybody who has a pool table, so I
(55:55):
haven't shot pool and shoot man. Last time I shot
it was probably two years ago. Well, when you're that
guy and it's something that you need to you can.
You can suck at it if you haven't in a while,
but after a few games you'll pick it back up.
Speaker 2 (56:13):
It's it's it's a relatively easy sports.
Speaker 1 (56:15):
I'm surprise they even let you in bars with pool tables. Dawson,
you're that good. Comes shark casino or something? Just counting
counting straight balls? All right, Well, why don't we go
on the horn and get her plugs in and then
we'll GTFO start some Patreon recordings. I'll start over there
in Austin, Texas. Matt Wondelier. What can we check out
for you?
Speaker 4 (56:36):
Well, I'll just say this is a blast.
Speaker 5 (56:37):
We should keep talking for like a little bit longer
and then allow people who are enjoying this conversation to
also listen to it if they want to. Five bucks
a month Patreon dot com, slash water Cooler, love you
guys and support, especially if you've been listening to us
for a really long time. Just give it a shot,
you know, And uh, I'll just throw a little teas here, Chris,
(57:00):
we got some beef.
Speaker 3 (57:02):
Beef nice tea.
Speaker 1 (57:08):
I couldn't okay, I don't know if these are food
puns or not. I couldn't even tell Matt you're were
you were so cordial all podcast. But it's to settle
I'm well worried, all right, Calen, what about you?
Speaker 8 (57:28):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (57:28):
Just falling about with Michael Bean a podcast that we're
very hard at it. But also if you sign up
for our Patreon, we do meetups once a month and
they get a little spicy. We droped some behind the
scenes stuff that we can't reveal even on the regular Patreon.
And uh, you gave out quite a good tease earlier
on an episode, Chris, I think that miss it because
he got up because you were so annoyed with me.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
But yeah, this meet up, I have a I have
a cruise story that I'm I'm deaf. I'm almost positive
I can't say on air because I don't know, possibly
for legal reasons, I'm not sure, but but it's again.
It is a story that I did not find out
about till three years after it happened because it was
(58:11):
such a secret. Mmm, I can't wait, all rights? What
about you?
Speaker 6 (58:20):
I'm going to be at Barnes and Noble at the
Grove in uh, the Barnes and Noble at the Grove
at the Grove the Fairfax, you know Los Angeles.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
Books.
Speaker 4 (58:37):
Got Starbucks in there now right.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
Be there shopping section.
Speaker 6 (58:46):
Ralph Pazzulo asked me if I would host the Q
and A in his book signing on Sunday, August thirty first.
So the book is the Great Chinese Art Highest and
it's pretty fucking gnarly awesome, high tech. Fucking criminals are
you know? They first robbed the Swedish King's Palace and
(59:10):
stole a bunch of Chinese artifacts. Turns out that this
all dates back to the Opium Wars when fucking Britain
and the Dutch raided China's Sun Palace, and then the
one hundred years of fucking shame, and then the last
one hundred years, and there's fucking organized crime and shit
and organized crime in China that the government's fully aware of.
(59:34):
They operate and one of the things that they do
for pride is they steal back monuments and vases and
fucking jade carvings that were originally looted from them and
they bring it back to China and no fucking country
can do anything about it because they're risk with fucking
(59:55):
going to war with China.
Speaker 2 (59:57):
Like China's like, what are you gonna do it? What
are you gonna fucking deal? So anyway, I gotta not
only read the book, but then interview Ralph about it.
So that's what the next.
Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
Hell.
Speaker 6 (01:00:10):
So August thirty, first at noon and then at seven o'clock,
two shows in Torrents at Mom said yes with Corolla
and I'm doing like.
Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
Twenty dude, all right, go see Dawson IRL. And then
as for me, yeah, it's definitely check out Patreon. I'm
playing at Marina Wine for Saturday of September, which I
think the sixth, so in Long Beach, So come checking
out playing there and we'll see you all later for Patreon.
(01:00:41):
Thank you again for listening. We appreciate it. We love you. Goodbye,
What right right right.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Right right right right.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Right right right. Hey, welcome to water Cooler. Oh yeah, baby,
thank you so much for tuning in and hanging out
with us. You know how the show goes, Hi, Chris Lock,
Samana kick it with my CROL digital buds of Yesteryear
with me today. All the way in Austin, Texas, we
(00:30):
have Matt Fondelier here, Hey brother, Hey Matt. And then
all the way in Long Beach, California, like myself, it's
kayleb bean.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hello Ali? And then all all the way No, ho
c a, it's Mike Dawson.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Coming to you directly from Yesteryear.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
That's that's correct.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
In charge.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
So I know, I know everyone's like Gary participating in
the mouth flicks. That's pretty wild. Actually he is not here.
So if you're if people are were on the edge
of their seats wondering why Gary was finally allowed to
I mean, why he decided to do the mouthlicks, then
that would make sense. But unfortunately he's not here. So
(01:17):
stry to get your hopes up. But uh, you know
he's a busy man. It's okay, he has a lot.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
Listen.
Speaker 5 (01:25):
This is why it's great to have five hosts because
we all have a little bit of a different dynamic
depending on the size of the group, and we all
have busy lives, so people get a little a little
different twist each week.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
You know, can confirm yes. So anyway, I mean, look,
I had a I've had a weird I've had a
weird last couple of days. I've been I've been in
my head about some stuff and I want to I
want to get your guys thoughts on this. Okay, so
I've been well, first off, I mean going to the gym.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
N something's wrong with you? Oh yeah, I mean nice.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I So people do, Yeah, it does. People do do that.
You're right, Matt.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
But I wake up at four thirty in the morning
and go like you used to when you work to kroll.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yes, I do, kalinnight.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Okay, Well, good for you.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
That's great. So I've been going.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I'm jealous. I'm jealous of you being able to do that.
By the way, I'm not making fun of you for it.
You used to invite me all the time, and I
wanted to go, but I knew it was never gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Well, I have a theory that if I go super
really want.
Speaker 6 (02:25):
To go, Kalan, I'm not really shutting to want to
go to the gym at four There, you wanted to
want to go, but you didn't really want to go.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Well, if I really wanted to, I probably would have
done it.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
But yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
But my thing is, I just I find myself going
or enjoying it better when it's that early, because I
completely forget about it right after it's over because I'm
just so tired and it's so early, and I still
have my whole day in front of me regardless. So
but I go, I do this workout class in the morning,
right and they kind of have this rule if you
are five minutes late, they won't let you in love it. Yeah,
(03:04):
so and it's I mean, you're getting there. So I
had it down to the exact minute when I have
to leave my house and I can make it there
and still get the maximum amount of sleep possible. It
is a page out of Corolla's uh work playbook and
travel playbook and and everything playbook. Yeah, I mean, yeah,
(03:25):
just just get it down to a signs. But if
something veers from the norm, what a what a roller
coaster life becomes? Anyway, So my alarm goes off. I
wake up, do my normal stuff, put on my clothes,
(03:46):
put on the shoes, walk out the door, and right
by my car, I am greeted by a couple of raccoons.
Just chill it out of my car.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
That is not where I thought the story was going
on in the script.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
That It's not where I thought the story was going
either when I woke up. And this has happened before.
Raccoons certainly, I mean they're nocturnal, it's dark outside. Still
let them, let them roam around. Either thing, And usually
when I go and I walk out, the raccoons scatter.
This time they did not scatter.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Oh boy, you scared them off one too many times.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah, I think they're onto me. Uh so. In fact,
one raccoon got so tense, like just tensed up the
whole his or her I don't know what. I can't
touch a bill whole body, and then starts hissing and
growling at me. I've never even heard a raccoon growl,
but they can growl. Yeah, And I start doing some
(04:47):
math in my head. If I have to fight these raccoons,
that would suck.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
I am just picturing the movie Elf. When uh, Will
Ferrell just gets absolutely ravaged by a fuck raccoon.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Okay, they're gonna say Peter dinklic but yeah that so,
yeah exactly. And I am wearing less clothes than Will Ferrell.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
And elf, you're still but still enough costume just.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
No, actually, well I go naked. Okay, yeah, so I
mean it's gonna be less no matter what he's wearing.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Now.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
But I'm doing the math. I'm looking down like this,
this is the thinnest clothing that I own. It's a
T shirt and basketball shorts, you know, basically Kiln's pjs
or just every day wear slash yeah, slash flounge were
slash formal wear and uh and I think, hmm, I
don't want to fight these raccoons right now. I'm gonna
(05:40):
I'm gonna let them be, and I'm gonna walk away
and start making a bunch of noise from a distance
to get them to scurry. They don't scurry to the
point where I'm thinking looking at my watch like this
is not good. I might be five minutes late, but.
Speaker 5 (05:56):
At a certain point you'll need to be attacked by
the raccoon so that your ridiculous excuse of the raccoons
stop me from being on time?
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Has some payoff for who you have to tell that to.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I've used that too many times.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I think.
Speaker 6 (06:09):
I don't think they're going to give you the raccoon.
The raccoon attacked me, excuse it's five minutes. They don't
listen to your excuses.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:18):
My question real quick is have you already paid for
this class?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
And are you losing money?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yes? Yes, yes, so makes it more difficult exactly. That's
why this is where I get your look. I get
panicked about random things you typically involving money, and it's
all like I can't afford it. I just hate losing
hard earned money for something dumb like I remember, like raccoons. Yeah,
(06:46):
I remember when I when I was working, when I worked,
I'll backtrack even farther, when I was working at a
restaurant and I parked somewhere that I thought, you know,
it's kind of a gamble. But it's like, but I've
been parking there for months and nobody's been ticketing me,
and that's fine. But I remember after work, it's out,
I'm walking, Uh, this girl I was dating back to
(07:08):
her car and my car is also heading that way too.
And I see from afar a parking enforcement vehicle with
the lights on and the little silent siren or the
you know, the lights spinning. I don't know. I guess
it's not a siren if it doesn't make noise. Silent siren,
the silent siren. Yeah, Gary would name that titleist episode,
(07:31):
but I will not. I will not lean into it.
And I remember just seeing that and thinking, oh my god,
they're ticketing my car. And I remember running over there
to stop this guy from ticketing my car, and halfway
through I just straight up had a panic attack and like,
hats just stop, and like I can't breathe right now.
(07:52):
And this is so dumb because it's off like a
parking ticket, but there's some weird principles, so I don't
know what it is anyway, So these raccoons they're not leaving.
I go back to house.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
There's two options I'm thinking of right now. One of
them might not be so nice towards the neighbors, but
I'll throw out that one first, and that is you
just get the lights going on the car, you're locking
and unlocking, and you have a prius. It's probably not
making very much sound, but the unnice neighbor. Option would
be set off the car alarm just real quick. But
(08:22):
that you set off the alarm, you scare them away again.
You gotta do it. Someone might be mad at you
for this option.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I'm glad you bring this up, Kalan, because you're like me.
I know you're like me. We've talked about this where
you are at least like we. We are so self
conscious of being a nuisance to people we don't really know,
almost to a fault to where we will put ourselves.
We will suffer to make sure that they, these people
(08:53):
who don't even know us, can go on with their
lives and not having us affected it in any negative way.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Even in this situation, these people do know you. They
are your neighbors, so that works even more against you.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Like I have a tandem driving spot and sometimes if
Jen is parked first and she has to leave, and
I have to back out my car and I have
to I'll back out my car and I'll put the
hazards on and other car oncoming traffic have to go
around me. But I'm just letting Jen out of the driveway.
I have nightmares about that. Like this is like I'm truly,
(09:28):
truly affected by it, So.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
You should consider doing like some hypnotherapy. They'll just like
break you down. You just got to visualize each step
and being less and less nervous about it.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I've talked to a therapist about it. They like and
they said, let's talk about what your greatest fear is
in the result of being a nuisance to others. And
I said, I have nightmares and just weird flashes of
asking my waiter to bring me one course at a time.
(10:03):
It's like the worst, that's the worst thing I could
think of.
Speaker 7 (10:06):
Us.
Speaker 6 (10:08):
Did you have one of these don't want to bother
people anxiety attack when your car was about to get ticketed?
Did you not want to make the parking enforcement officers
day back?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
No? No, is that nothing? No that No, that's just
I just didn't like losing money.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Okay, good, yeah, good, I'm glad I didn't factor in.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
No, no, no, this this is like a different This
is a different kind of anxiety, a different of men.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I was assuming that because of that anxiety, the car alarm,
even just for a few seconds, was going to go
out the window.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
It is.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
So I'm going to my backup option here, and do
you have a hose nearby.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
And damn no, because I just can't. I just got sprinklers, Kalin,
so I can get the sprinklers. I get the sprinklers going.
I don't think they'll reach it. Maybe they might like it.
So here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
It's rainy.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I got a third option. I got a third option.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I just thought of, let's make love in the rain
and make more of us Jesus all right, solutions keep
them covering.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
Great.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
This one's full proof. And it just came on. And
I don't know why them dancing in the rain made
me think of it. But you go inside and you
get a nice little snack for him, a nice little
loaf of bread, you get something for him. Just toss
that over to the side. So your friends, yeah, oh
actually that's probably, but they might come back.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
The first three ideas were real solid, though, real solid.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah, so I just waited him out. I've made a
bunch of noise. There's just like, wow, there's a there's
we have like make it to your class ring camera
footage are just my hand cut coming out the door
and coming back in, just like trying to make noise.
It's super embarrassing. They finally leave, I get in the car.
I could, like, I could still squeeze this out if
I you know, just run a few yellow and just
(12:01):
really just floor it. So which I do. I you know,
a lot of people people on the road at that time,
so it's pretty wide open. And I get there, I
pull in, I walk in. It is five oh five
and like twenty seconds and I go, I'm here, and
(12:23):
they go, it's past five minutes. Sorry, and I'm here.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
I would cancel membership right then in the area.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
I did not did you tell him about the raccoons?
Speaker 1 (12:37):
So many questions here. Okay, first off, Doss, I did
not say I'm here. I gave a look. I gave
the look. You know, people are listening. I can't just
do the face and expect.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
You got to try to sneak in. Dude. You can't
walk in there and go, hey, I'm here.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Yeah, I'm gonna draw too much attention to himself.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Okay, ok.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I was dude. It was so early, Matt, and I
was so defeated, and I just want to go back
to sleep. So I did not hell, I'm about the raccoons.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Okay, it was just so perfect, exactly the raccoons they're
closing the door.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Well, they were making love in the sprinklers. I'm gonna
be an uncle.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
I tried to feed them. That was a mistake.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
They live there now, change my dress.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
I don't live there anymore. I get anxiety from bothering people.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Well, I'm glad to bring that up, Dawson, because I'm
walking back now, Why walk back to my car in
this this dark parking lot lit by like a lone
a lone light street.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Light lit by the fire that burns like you're shorn.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Yeah, I got to ask to like you said this
was a gym or is it like just a special it's.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Like acau, it's like a bougie workout.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Is there somewhere else you can go to, like get
some kind of workout in because you missed your class?
Can you at least take advantage, like go on a
treadmill for twenty thirty minutes?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
No, no, this is you're in the class and it's
not a gym. It's okay, So it's not a gym,
it's a workout, workout.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
You took a pilates class, Let's be honest.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Not plates. Okay, it's pal a No, it's bar No
what regardless. It's like a glorified pe class and it's
it's like the only thing that works for me, so
I stick with it, but okay for you. I walk
back to my car and just like thinking, this is unbelievable.
(14:45):
I cannot believe how this morning is already shaping up.
And I look and underneath my rear windshield.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Wiper, is it dead raccoon?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I wish, dude curtsy of me. Uh no, But underneath
was a note, And I think, huh, what did that
get there? Because I went grocery shopping yesterday and I
used my trunk. It wasn't there. Someone put an under
(15:16):
my car. Let me grab it, and I went grabbed
it and I went inside my car and I opened
it up, and I'm gonna read it to you verbatim,
because wow, oh.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Boy, I'm getting anxiety right now.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Just picture okay, I'm gonna read it verbatim. This is
this is now five oh six or am, five or
six am. After all, I just after the raccoon stuff
in the gym thing, you parked like an asshole, and
you're lucky I didn't key your ugly prius XO XO heart.
(15:54):
Now I'm like Okay. Now, well, wow, this infuriates me
because I am very as as we've mentioned, self conscious
about being anus and savage. Where I will straighten out
(16:14):
my parking till I am perfectly parallel and equidistant from
the parking lines. It's impossible for me to do that.
And then if I parallel park, I make sure people
have room. I make sure that I'm both tires are
equidistant from the curb. Because when I was younger, my
(16:35):
friend Mikey made fun of me about how I parked
and it bothered me to no end, and I fixed that.
So yeah, I am a great parker, a fantastic one.
So now I'm just retracing my steps, thinking where and when,
and like, I look at the car next to me.
There's only one car park next to me at this point,
and it's like an empty tesla. I'm thinking. Now, I'm
(16:58):
just retracing my steps. I remember, I drive home. I
lie down, try to get some sleep. I can't. I'm
tossing and turning. I can't stop thinking about this note.
This note with I mean, I'm going to assume it's
a girl only because the penmanship is is just awesome,
very very nice. Penmanship really cute to geez x the
(17:21):
xo XO with a heart. Yeah, but you're lucky. I
didn't key your ugly Prius. So it's just me brutal, brutal,
and I shouldn't let her get to me. But oh
did she get to me. I have not stopped thinking
about this note for the last.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
Few because she's faceless to you. You don't know what
she looks like, you don't know who she is. That's
why it's going to bother you. Yeah, yeah, we got
to find this.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
We find it.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
We have to find this girl.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
And I just.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
We have two clues.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
We have two clues, uh discernible right there out in
the open clue number one.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
She does not drive a Prius.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Right clue number two. And and something we can confirm
that other people have said was, oh, maybe someone just
took that from another car and put it on yours.
But it calls out my car.
Speaker 6 (18:14):
No, no, no, that's a yeah, that's a red herring.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
That's a real psychopath move right, take a note off
one person's car and then put it onto another person's car.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
And then who now, Chris, had you done that?
Speaker 6 (18:29):
It might have alleviated some of the grief because the
jokes on that other.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Person, because you put it on someone else's car.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
To Chris's point, was the case they point out the prius, what.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Was funny about it? I thought, you don't find a
priest just put it on a Mustang and they go,
what the fuck?
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Pri what is this?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yeah, they're wildly confused by it.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Oh well, and then I did think about the just
the chaos psycho theory of like what if someone just
writes that on my car, put it on my car,
my driveway, Like let's mess with this guy. Yeah, you
know that crossed my mind too. Some people just like
to watch the world burn. So as we all know, so.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Is your car blocking the side? Does your car block
the sidewalk when you are like your tandem.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Chet it is? But no, and I make sure Gen
pulls in all the way. We've had We've had a discussion.
You got, I can't. I can't have my butt sticking
out onto the sidewalk. So anyway, as I said, just
bothering me to no end.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
And yeah, yeah, that like from a bathroom, it's like
a hand towel, like paper hand towel.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Oh is that you think I thought it was a
paper bag. But you're right, it looks like like the
recyclable paper hand Toels Matt, the Detective Matt case.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Definitely girl writing.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Now, definitely that g and ugly.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
Well, this is just indicative someone else who had a
very a bad day.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Yeah, and they were taking it out on you.
Speaker 5 (20:02):
Now, I think the key to solving this mystery is
figuring out at least several locations that it might have
occurred at, and then trying to get the security footage.
You have to tell them that you got into a
car accident on this day, and it would be really
helpful if I could just see any security footage you have,
(20:24):
and then you just fucking go from place to place
until you find that person.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Well, you said you had gotten groceries the night before
and you didn't see it on the back, so it
had to have either been outside of your house in
your driveway or at the workout.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
It could have been the worst I was. I was
there for like twenty seconds.
Speaker 5 (20:44):
Let's not discount the raccoon stress. You yourself explained what
a mental case you were.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
At this point.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
You had just been dragged out by two security guards.
You could very well have had this terrible parking job
and been just so ready to go back home.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
That you don't realize that you parked terribly.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
No, because I looked at it when I when I
got the note and went I looked at to see like,
oh did I park badly?
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Did not?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Did not?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
So anyway, so it didn't happen at the gym, I know.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, I can't.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Believe the place of what happened was in your own driveway,
in my driveway. This is leading me back to the gym.
Speaker 6 (21:21):
And you can't park like an asshole on your own
drive really good, I should start to I'm gonna start
leaving notes on my neighbors cars in their own ride
and tell them you parked like an asshole.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
So saying, man, chaos, it's just chaos.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Anyway, you couldn't have a second car in this two
car garage if you.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Tried anyway, So I guess I need some cheering up.
By the way, if anybody has any any theories, please
let me know. I no, the raccoons did not write it,
all right, I just try to try some Matt to
pitch that as a lady for the whole time. But anyways,
(22:06):
I need some cheering up, So dots. You got some
news this morning.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
Yeah, news fucking I mean all in it's not it's
not awful, but it's uh, it was really crushing to me.
I get up this morning and I checked my text
messages and there's one from my boss on the Rock Cruises.
And as you guys know, on Friday, I was supposed
(22:30):
to get on another cruise ship and fly out on Thursday,
and it was going to be a seven day cruise
and we had all the time in the world. It
was actually going to be the closest thing to a
vacation I had in the last twenty years, and uh,
it'd be really nice.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
I was really excited.
Speaker 6 (22:48):
The text says they can't get the ship into the
Boston Harbor because of the hurricane. Ships not leaving until Sunday.
Now seven day crew in a matter of sets. Seven
day cruise with plenty of time turned into a five
day cruise of thirteen hour days. Oh and I was
(23:10):
I got packed last night, I was ready to go.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Everything was cool, and then I woke up to that
this morning and it just ruined my entire day.
Speaker 6 (23:22):
And it's all it's you know, I mean, they're before
anyone says, hey, man, I'm sorry about your cruise. I mean,
think about the words that you would have just spoken.
I'm still going on a fucking cruise. Like it's not
the worst damn news in the world.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
But you're working thirteen hour days on a cruise.
Speaker 6 (23:39):
Yeah, now now, and they over they they went seven
days so they could, but they still overbooked a five
day cruise for seven days, but they didn't, and so
and then I fucked myself because they said, see how
much it would cost to change your flight and then
(24:01):
let me know before you do it. And so it
was something I Delta only charged like two hundred and
forty five bucks. And I told him what it told
her what it is, and she said, okay, go ahead
and change your flight. That's cheaper than a hotel. And
I'm like, all right, yeah, that's that's fair. That makes sense.
I look at flights and I just wanted a non
stop and the only one that was close to what
(24:29):
or compatible you know, with the only the two hundred
and forty four dollars fee leaves Lax after three and
gets into Boston at midnight, and then at seven o'clock
the next morning, I'm getting on a fucking cruise ship.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
And it begins.
Speaker 6 (24:47):
It's going to be the worst twenty four hour lead
in to one of these fucking cruises I have ever
been on. I should have And I was just telling
Matt before we recorded. I was like, I shouldn't. I
shouldn't do these things first thing in the morning. I
should fucking think and not. I'm always just fucking reactive,
(25:11):
like just do it, get it done, get it done,
instead of paying attention to the fucking details and thinking,
you know what, maybe I should get to Boston around
four pm, even if you know there's a stop somewhere
so I can get some fucking showd to or something.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Now, dude, I'm gonna get in there at midnight.
Speaker 6 (25:28):
There'll be a couple of stragglers up, you know, but
I'm gonna get in. I'm gonna have to go fucking
straight to a hotel and just fucking like, okay, hello Boston,
fucking lame, lame.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
I'm so I'll get over it.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Then try to figure out a way to still find
some free time in a thirteen hour days is tough.
I remember I did that on the Seattle Corolla cruise.
I really overworked myself to where I was I had
to be at every single event that we threw, and
I had to run it and produce it. And I've
never been more tired of my life than that goes.
(26:07):
So my advice is, yeah, still figure out a way
to squeeze out some some Dawson time out of there.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
And I squeeze out some Dawson time brack, you know
what I mean. Off the side of it, I had
back of the cruise.
Speaker 6 (26:26):
No that it was going to be fucking great because
since it was a seven day cruise, they asked, they said, uh,
you know, we need our host to do more. So
they said, what do you guys got? And I came
up with this idea where I do a radio show
to music videos that will be playing on a big
screen behind me, and I'll be you know, hitting the
(26:46):
post on him and doing like the toolbox kind of style.
And and I put six of those hour long edited
music videos together with old class MTV bumpers perfectly faded
into one another, and it's I clicked play on one
(27:07):
file and then the computer.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Just does that.
Speaker 6 (27:10):
I don't have to worry about overdriving any computer trying
to find videos and throwing stuff up. This is all
done in pre production, and then I got my script
and I can talk. I may be able to do
three of these with the schedule that we have. Plus
I developed a game show based on song lyrics that
I was really excited to run. But we were gonna
(27:32):
have four fucking rounds of this game show. And I'm like,
I haven't told my boss yet, but I have a
feeling that we're not doing it. I'm like, if there's
one thing to take out, let's you know, let's get
this down to one round.
Speaker 5 (27:47):
And well, I hope you learned you never prepare anything, right,
you know, like, why bother trying?
Speaker 4 (27:56):
Man?
Speaker 1 (27:57):
That's a good life lesson, Matt, Thanks you Life Lass people,
Little Life Hackey. Yeah, did your game show involve any
sort of dice?
Speaker 4 (28:08):
No, it's all right, Well you got time to rework it, buddy.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I'm glad to base around song lyrics. It's pretty fun.
I think I think it will actually work.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Well, just have a Patreon we we I want to
hear more about it because maybe you run it.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
And we can do one round on Patreon. All right,
I'm glad to do that.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
All right. Well, Dos, I'm sorry that the cruise has
been truncated and.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Still okay, and that is the word dude.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Man.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Well, so before the MIC's heated up, Dawnson said, I
can tell you the terrible news I got and uh
on this show. I said, okay, that sounds fine, and
then Kaitlin less than a second later, goes, oh, and
I'm at I'm operating at peak life right now and
I would like to talk about that I experienced. So, Kaitlin,
(29:01):
why why did you offer this? Uh? What's going on?
Why are you why did you experience how did you
experience peak life?
Speaker 3 (29:11):
I should amend it a little bit too, but it's not.
It bleeds over. It bleeds over, and I'll talk about that,
but I should, technically, I guess, have amended it to
peak parenting life.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Okay, way less.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
I was going to wine a little bit, but now
now I think I'm gonna do it right now.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
I think I'm going to get more wine.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Uh yeah, I just think.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Really he's really getting up believing asked you that and
then he just revealed the chair.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Looks like that was a bait and switch. Kaylen, that
was a total bait again, But.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
There's bleed over here. There is bleed over here.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Sir, and I won't that mean but all except well.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Can I start you off, because then if we're doing
that I experienced. Well, actually, let's wait for Matt to
get back. Let's talk about other stuffs. I want him
to fully, fully embrace this as as much.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Well, okay, I'll just tie in. I'll just do a
little a little tease, and I will say one of
the best moments in my.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Life, I love You're gonna tease You're seconds. It leads it,
it leads it.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
I would say, one of the best moments of my
life where I had the most fun in the world.
We've talked about it on the show is when we
were on the cruise and I think it was me
and Mikey. It was after some event or something and
me and Mikey walked out onto the front deck and
we saw that water slide on the cruise and it
was completely empty, and me and Mikey ran through the
boat rallying the troops that we are gonna all start
(30:45):
going down this water slide. And for half hour forty
five minutes it was all the croll of people doing
nothing but going down the water slide together and it
was it was amazing, it was glorious.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
I have a good cruise story too. Maybe I'll say
for the meetup, because I don't think that was the tea.
I don't think. I don't think I'm allowed to tell
that story on any sort of air, But for the
met I'll tell a cruise story. Now, Matt's back, before
you get into your Kalen, if we're talking about peak life,
experienced peak life, I did that today.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Parenting life.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Oh peak, yeah, want me to get up again.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
I didn't tell the story.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
It was when I it's it's actually every second, Kaleen,
when I look into my kid's eyes and I just
realized how beautiful life is.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
So for Blake's birthday last year, we went to Soak City.
It was the Notsberry Farm water park that you have,
and they weren't uh you know, they couldn't swim. They
had no swim they had classes, they didn't go well,
they could not swim at all.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
At the water take your kid.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
I've learned that they have well, they have like a
little kids area that's like for kids like three to
six or seven, and they have kind of a bigger
kids area that's like you know, six to ten sort
of thing, And so we went to the little Kids area.
Last year wasn't very good there, like, wasn't really any
There's a couple shitty water sides for them to go down.
At one point, I think some kids shit in the water.
(32:20):
They had to empty the whole thing out for hours,
so we couldn't even go into like the little Little
Kid area. But I will just say when I think
before even Isla was born, I was like, I cannot
wait until my kid goes down their first water slide.
(32:40):
I need to be there for that moment. So this
year for Blake's birthday, we go to a different water park.
It's called like Wild Rivers. It's an irvine sure, and
it is perfect for a fucking five and six year old.
The water slides that they have in the little Little
Kid area are amazing. They have like three different sets
of them. They like kind of a more straight down one,
(33:01):
they got a twisty one, they got an enclosed one.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
So there any themes are is there? Is it just
the slide or is there some like decoration as well?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yeah? The courses?
Speaker 1 (33:12):
How many courses do you get?
Speaker 3 (33:16):
So?
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Is there a door?
Speaker 3 (33:20):
No doors? No doors anywhere? And we go into this
park and we go on Thursday, so all the kids
in like Anaheim and the surrounding area have gone back
to school already. So we go into the park and
there's fucking nobody there. Nice, there's nobody there. It's eighty
five degrees. It's perfect. It's just hot enough, like when
you're in the sun, cool down. Just we and then
(33:42):
we sit down and we get front row seats to
the kids area. And I will just say peak parenting life.
It's the greatest thing about being a parent is showing
your kids like a new thing. Yeah, showing your kids
a new thing. That's fucking awesome. And now they've had
swim lessons. They can go underwater, and they were like,
holy fuck, look at these water slides. And they played
(34:03):
on those fucking water slides over and over and over again,
and it was having the fucking time of their life. Well,
I was drinking a beer front row just watching them
do it. Didn't need to hover over them. They could
fucking do everything themselves. And then had a little bit
of a buzz and he's like, Oh, I'm gonna take
them into the h the Lazy River. I was like, great,
I'm gonna go hit some fucking water slide. Yeah, no
(34:28):
lines down all the fucking water slides. Amazing, grab some
fucking lunch, went back and I was like, I don't
think it gets any better than this. This is like
the greatest as a kid, like discovering water slides and
good water slides for five years, great water slides, and
then me in the meantime just going off and hitting
water slides with no line. I just don't see how
(34:48):
it gets any better than that.
Speaker 5 (34:50):
You're right, I mean, if the slides had themes, maybe
it would have been like an extra step better.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
They should have.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
I h yeah, I've that sounds incredible, law in that.
I'm so happy for you. Actually, the only thing I
think of is like, I don't know, Matt, you you
go to water You've been a water park out there? Right?
Speaker 4 (35:09):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, yeah you do water park?
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Yeah you guys.
Speaker 5 (35:12):
You guys made fun of me because I went to
one that was like on a lake and it wasn't
you know, two extravagant.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
There were only three or four slides, but.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
All coming back to me. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
Yeah, But I.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
Will say when I I went to crime Con on
a business trip and I stayed at some you know
Hilton or Airport, Mariott or whatever, and they had a
water slide and I was all by myself and I
had some time to kill and I just went to
the pool bar, have myself on my tie, went down
the water slide, like stood underneath the waterfall like I
was seven years old. And again I'm not a parent,
(35:45):
but that was one of my peak moments.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
So I know what you're feeling, Kalon. I will post
water slide buzz.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Oh so good, and I will say too when I
say there's nobody there. Of course there were some people there.
There were some people there, but I didn't wait longer
for ten minutes for a slide. But every time I
did wait in line first slide, I was surrounded by
eleven year olds. It was a bunch of eleven year
olds and it was pretty funny.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Still, thing missing from Matt's story is his dad just
sitting poolside watching Matt just enjoy that that water slide
and then going under the waterfall getting his hair wet,
and his dad just sitting there just smiling, popping a
dente and ice you got from Kelson's. Oh man, this
is this is a living So that's almost a peak
(36:28):
peak life moment from Matt as well. The only with
water parks I just can't get out of my my
brain the amount of urine that I think I'm just
waiting it does that bother you, guys.
Speaker 8 (36:42):
No, it's constantly being filtered, so it's it's okay, yeah, okay,
it doesn't bother.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Me too much. We all be like with the ocean.
Speaker 5 (36:58):
Like the ocean, there's like animal oh yeah, pooh and
all kinds of terrible things, but like the ocean is
still awesome.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
The only place you're really I think, getting it is
the Lazy River. I feel like everywhere else in the
water park you're probably fine unless you get into this
that kids area as well, But as an adult, the
Lazy River is the only place you're gonna you're gonna
experience that.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
That's the rise. They don't have those signs that every
hotel has where it's like if you've experienced diary and
in the last ten days.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
I don't think any kids would be allowed in the park, then.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Please do not get into our pool or like or
please get out, which is like always funny if like
a guy just gets out, like oh oh, read the sign.
I gotta go, guys, sorry, yeah, but yeah, always a
weird sign that they and they have those maide and
some very big letters. So some people people have ruined
things and we now have to accommodate them with the signs.
(37:51):
All right, look, we have some comments here, we have.
I mean, Kaitlin, you you made a lot of noise
by talking about how you wear other people's boxers and
how you accept use boxers from people and they're gifted
to you. So people before are really into that. I
want to read some comments and then and then we
(38:13):
can go ahead and record Patreon a little bit. Alrighty,
and I'm going to start with some comments from our
Patreon page. And if you're not subscribed to Patreon, please
rethink that because for as little as five dollars a month,
(38:35):
you get ad free episodes, an extra episode every week,
and then opportunities for movie clubs, meetups and things like that.
All right, let's see here Colin Jackson's first. All right,
thank you, Colin. You know it's because I read them
that they that they still happen. Right, Let's see here.
(38:57):
Clay Taylor says, this is Kand's signature episode and possibly
the greatest free episode ever.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
So you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Nice shot.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, Zerses aka wheatbread, says am I the only one
taking note of Caitlin's evolution as a podcaster, great content
beam and he also asked if you still have those
ASU shorts, which I believe you do.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Of course, yeah, I showed them on. It might have
been a patron but I showed them a couple episodes ago.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Meadow Rights, She writes, wearing your neighbors underwear is so
fucking funny. I just had a near death experience from
almost choking to death on my breakfast, So Caylen, I.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Mean, hey, I will say that those boxer breeks got
years of use out of that they got. I think
I still I think I still have them. Actually they
live on I could look for them right now.
Speaker 4 (40:04):
Also, I like the.
Speaker 5 (40:05):
Little subtle nod to hear that she enjoyed here. She
enjoys our show while they eat breakfast that morning radio.
Speaker 4 (40:11):
That's nice.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
You know, it's a lot nicer than everyone who's like, oh,
I love listening to your podcast. It puts me to sleep.
And I mean, either way, we still get the download,
so that's fine. Jacob more or less the two what
he wants to say regarding yous underwear. Whenever my own
boxers get too used and full of holes, I will
(40:33):
run them through the wash one last time and then
play tug a war with my dog because he likes
to rip clothes. My roommate thinks it's weird because it's
my boxers, but I also do it with spent socks.
So spent socks that's just not the adjective you want. Yeah,
(41:00):
I let's see Andrew That one guy Richmond says, I'm
a couple episodes behind, but I just heard your pizza
tod In regards to Hawaiian with Hallo panos, Gary, did
you give it a go? Oh? Well, Gary's not here,
so I'm gonna guess he did. Not a lot of
people loving Leslie too, so you know David bros Houer
Spensic Knights is damn it. So no Leslie on the
(41:21):
Patreon uh, a lot of a lot of Leslie stuff
in the In the comments, Eric Laporre says, am I
the only one that keeps a jar of anchovies at
the house?
Speaker 5 (41:34):
Well, certainly in this group. I speak for myself, of
course I would.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
I might get some next time. I think it's bad
for my gout though.
Speaker 5 (41:42):
So I gotta say I was not here during this discussion,
but you know I listened, and I had a friend
who ordered anchovy pizza as part of like our shared pizza,
like we're gonna have we're gonna have a pizza together,
like get a large pitza and I got like half
pep around and he gets half ancho, Like what the fuck?
Speaker 3 (42:04):
I just right, man, I thought you meant like.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
He was but permeated like the pember.
Speaker 6 (42:15):
I believe we had this exact same conversation on this
podcast not too long ago about pineapple on a pizza
and why I would never allow someone to do half
pineapple on a pizza because it contaminates the pizza with pineapple.
And I believe you guys all said I was insane
and crazy, But I.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
Can see Matt's point much more than I can see yours.
I feel like, but for the most part, you're okay to.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Make a fruit salad.
Speaker 6 (42:44):
I'm gonna make a fruit salad over your pizza next time.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Before I serve.
Speaker 4 (42:48):
It to you, I'm saying, pineapple not that sticky.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
It's not it would permeate and good.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
If you do get a pineapple on a slice on
your side. It does, the flavor is still there. You
can't can't get rid of the pineapple flavor. So I
see where you're coming.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Like if if if Dawson, you and me split a
pizza and you got half pepperone in yours and I
got half ship on mine, you would.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Yeah, right, you gotta.
Speaker 6 (43:16):
You have to keep in mind that whoever's making the
pizza is not being very careful to make sure that
it's only half ship.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
There's gonna be shipped all over that.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Pizza, regardless, even if yours was pristine. I don't I
don't think you take a bite, but you know there's
only on way to find out. Let's let's hear Mike
Janiels says Kaitlin. I have no problem to get you
an email to let you keep the Hulu check your
Facebook messages and we can get it sorted.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
I just I don't check my messages off. But I
did see that he that he sent that message a
day or two.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
I'm looking at our listen.
Speaker 4 (43:54):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
I still feel like it's going to be and I
still feel like I'm a nuisance. He even gave me,
he gave me his direct phone number. He's like, you
can text me anytime so we can get the Hulu
account situated. So I'm probably gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Yeah, well, I know Gary turned the podcast off just now,
so it's fine. There's a new alien show on Hulua
that I really.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Want to see.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Let's see. Jeremy Clay Bass says, I used to only
wear the cheapest boxer briefs I could find. My wife
spoiled me with Deluth trading buck naked, and I become
an underwear diva. Ever since, I won't wear anything else. See,
that's the dangerous thing. You don't You don't want to
become the underwear diva then, I.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Mean that's what happened to me with Tommy Johns. I
can't wear anything else.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
It's like I'm happy that I can't really tell the
difference between awesome wine.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
But you'll take us to Tommy Johns.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
Oh fuck yeah, seen it movie, junkie. I still laugh
about that video, Kailin. I will watch it every once
in a while because it I don't think I've ever
laughed harder, like just sitting on I remember I was
just sitting on a couch with Jen and I was
(45:09):
crying when we were for those who don't know, Calyn
made a Tommy John video at Corollas and he was
very funny, and he pulled his pants down in it,
and his boxers just had so many holes that I
had to like edit around them.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
And well, all these years later and given the video
here last week, you know that I have not changed
my ways.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
It breathes better. Movie junkie of SLC says, I can't
wait to hear the flicking on weapons. It was so good.
Also went to pre screenings this week for Nobody Too
and Relay, both fantastic movies. Nobody Too not quite as
good as the first, but loved having the family more involved. Also,
(45:53):
I saw together it was weird.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
Oh boy, Okay, so that's the Franco.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard it's good. But I'm gonna
I'm gonna take his word on it.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
But he's seeing a lot of movies, I guess. Yeah,
I get for some reason, my movie on.
Speaker 4 (46:14):
The Street got any movies.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Give me a movie unspeakable things for.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Unspeakable for a movie.
Speaker 6 (46:26):
Yeah, and you know somebody five somebody fucked with him
the other day and gave him a fucking laser disc.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Here you go, dude, He's like, you, son of a bitch.
Speaker 4 (46:41):
How am I supposed to watch this?
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Uh, let's go to the Facebook group, Facebook dot Com
slash group Slash Bobo Boy Army Worldwide l l C.
Please join. If you're not part of it, it's free
to join. My favorite place on the Internet. Joe Wagan
or Joe Cool as we know him, he submitted Aladdin
to the Urban Dictionary. I talked about this on a
I Believe Patreon show where I had some bread stolen,
(47:07):
and I said, oh, we just got aladdened, and now
it is officially in the Urban Dictionary. So thank you joke.
Please look for it Aladdin apostrophe d Aladdened show. Come
right up, let's see. Brett Craigan now says I just
listened to the pod where Brett broke down Cleveland. Remember
(47:29):
I read from Bust. It makes me feel good.
Speaker 4 (47:31):
I'll never forget. I'll never go there because of you, And.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
Brett says, I've been a Clevelander my whole life. You
are accurate. Look, I know I apologized about Remember this
is all what was told to me about Cleveland, not
my own personal thoughts. But not one person from Cleveland
or like they've not defended it and said, hey, you're wrong,
(47:57):
So I don't know. Lastly, let's Ryan Roberts says, I've
been playing in a casual eight ball pool league for
around ten years. Tonight I got my first run out.
I did not miss a single shot. It's pretty exciting stuff.
Speaker 4 (48:17):
Amazing.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
Dude, Matt knows what that is because Matt played pool
on his iPhone for years the podcast.
Speaker 5 (48:25):
Dude, I had made almost five million dollars, but it's
not his career.
Speaker 4 (48:31):
Yeah, get that's pool is extremely difficult.
Speaker 6 (48:36):
Well, not extremely I mean no, it's extremely difficult, really
extremely difficult.
Speaker 2 (48:41):
No, not extremely difficult.
Speaker 6 (48:45):
Something if you have if you have access to a
pool table, it's fairly easy.
Speaker 7 (48:52):
I guess the extremely difficult it's just geometry. Really, I
think it's pretty difficult. But a runout, see, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
This rule is weird to me because it's so unfair
for the person who didn't get to break if they
just lose just by existing, like, there's no there's no
way they can retaliate, there's no like.
Speaker 5 (49:20):
Let me let me tell you, man, when you have
a million dollars on the line, and then that should
happens to you it's there's no worse feeling.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
I can't imagine, Matt. I mean, that was a pretty
dark time. I remember.
Speaker 4 (49:38):
At the five Millionaire Cue, I wanted.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Chris.
Speaker 6 (49:42):
What you're talking about is pull on a professional level.
But when you're on like I just kind of a
bar skill level, It's it's rare that that happens. But
sometimes you'll wait like three games to get quarters to play,
and then the guy will break and then he'll put
way fucking eight balls and then you're done.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
And yeah, there is nothing more frustrating than that. But
it is, uh, it's not the norm, it's the exception
on you know, so small level.
Speaker 1 (50:14):
I find it weird. Then if it's the exception and
you're talking about like playing at a bar versus professional pool.
But Matt says it's extremely hard, and you're just like
not hard at all. You're you're talking you're talking about
like blooden quarters in a bar, a bar table. Yeah, well,
(50:36):
I'm saying there is there are professionals who I think
it is extremely hard.
Speaker 4 (50:40):
I'm with Matt.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
I think it's extreme. I mean, and Matt was a
professional for a while, making millions.
Speaker 5 (50:46):
I think there was a further comment within that comment
in the Facebook group where people were it's something to
do with like whether or not you should have a
pool table something like that. I think that was a
good continuation of the pool conversation, but I can't remember exact.
Speaker 1 (51:00):
Let's see, Oh, Jacob Morales says, is it a power
move to have a pool table in your house?
Speaker 2 (51:06):
There you go, and now it's a power move to
have a pool table in your barn.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
Yeah, that's that's true either way. I mean, you just
need so much room, like there, if we go, If
we talk once again about playing at a bar, there
is very little more embarrassing than asking somebody to move
because you gotta get you gotta get a shot in,
and now everybody's watching you, and you have to bother
be a nuisance to this person to have them step aside,
(51:38):
maybe put down their drinks so they can get out
of your waist, so you can pull that queue back,
go ahead, launch that que ball and just airball it
or just do a terrible shot. And it's like all right,
we go. Now we just move one of their lives.
And I'm sorry for bothering you make you do that,
like so I get it. You just need you just
need more room. Like, if you have a pool table,
(51:59):
you're gonna need so much room around it. So it
is a power move, I think, because you're just bragging
about how much square footage you have in a certain space.
So I do want one, though those are comments. Thanks
all right, So.
Speaker 2 (52:15):
But Chris, the pool is so hard? Why do you
want that in your house?
Speaker 1 (52:19):
So I can get better? Golf is very hard to
and I love so.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
You can get better at it. It's not so hard
that you can't get better, right, You can.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
Get better if you practice anything. Well, what is hard?
Speaker 3 (52:33):
Pool is so much easier than golf.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
I feel like this is absolutely man.
Speaker 3 (52:38):
If you are an amateur golfer, you are not having fun.
Speaker 6 (52:41):
Like the only thing easier than shooting pool is throwing darts.
It's like the only thing that's technically easier.
Speaker 1 (52:48):
I don't know, man, I played darts. I'm not very good.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
I do love it though.
Speaker 2 (52:51):
It's the same kind of concept though, point aim you
know shoot?
Speaker 5 (52:57):
What same about darts is like really embarrassing because you
just like you end up hitting the dude's wall, you know,
like instead of going anywhere near the board, and then
you have to just be like, uh, fuck, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Either way, there's some shame involved. I
don't know. It's pool hard? Is pool? Would you consider
with the eight ball run extremely hard and.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
Hard as any how many of you guys very hard?
How many of you guys have done it? How many
of you guys have won a game on eight strade
shots in a league like?
Speaker 4 (53:32):
Not in a league, not in a league like on
an iPod.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
No, I've done it. I've done it under ten times,
but i've done it so.
Speaker 5 (53:45):
By I've also done it under nine times that they're
under two times. I might even ranger to say under
one time.
Speaker 2 (53:51):
I've done it at least five times.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
In real life. I've I in my when I when
I would break, I have some the eight ball in
on a break, and I'm pretty sure that is an
automatic win. At least we played it that way, so
that was pretty sweet.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
That's it. I've done that a couple of times as well.
Speaker 1 (54:11):
All right, Well, anyway, yeah, sound off? Is pool hard?
Because we need we can't. We can't agree.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
It's resounding. No, it's not hard.
Speaker 6 (54:21):
It's probably the most accessible sport people pull in a wheelchair.
Speaker 1 (54:28):
I have some trick shot Instagram accounts, and I am
going to send you all right, well, why don't we
go around the horn?
Speaker 2 (54:34):
That kind of ship is not easy, right, which which
makes it which then makes it hard to do that.
But that's not playing pool. That's doing trick.
Speaker 1 (54:47):
Shots, okay, but not playing a ball run is easy?
Speaker 2 (54:52):
No, it's oh, then it's then I wouldn't say it's hard.
I'd say it's not easy. It's not hard. If all
of your shots line up, fucking great, there you go.
It's easy. You just got to keep making shots. It's
super easy. Just keep making shots.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
You are going to be my if I you're next shot.
Let's Dawson with that kind of confidence, I think you're
an amazing pool player.
Speaker 2 (55:20):
Let's go to I never said I was good, freaking
said I was good. It was easy.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
We'll play like good cop, bad cop, and I'll you know,
or sucky cop and awesome cop and I'll just be like, oh,
I don't what is this pool. It'll be like Whiteman
can't jump.
Speaker 6 (55:34):
My uncle had a table in his barn and uh,
and we played hundreds and hundreds of games every summer
for like a decade. M And then you know, I
just don't go to bars anymore that much. And I
don't know anybody who has a pool table, so I
(55:55):
haven't shot pool and shoot man. Last time I shot
it was probably two years ago. Well, when you're that
guy and it's something that you need to you can.
You can suck at it if you haven't in a while,
but after a few games you'll pick it back up.
Speaker 2 (56:13):
It's it's it's a relatively easy sports.
Speaker 1 (56:15):
I'm surprise they even let you in bars with pool tables. Dawson,
you're that good. Comes shark casino or something? Just counting
counting straight balls? All right, Well, why don't we go
on the horn and get her plugs in and then
we'll GTFO start some Patreon recordings. I'll start over there
in Austin, Texas. Matt Wondelier. What can we check out
for you?
Speaker 4 (56:36):
Well, I'll just say this is a blast.
Speaker 5 (56:37):
We should keep talking for like a little bit longer
and then allow people who are enjoying this conversation to
also listen to it if they want to. Five bucks
a month Patreon dot com, slash water Cooler, love you
guys and support, especially if you've been listening to us
for a really long time. Just give it a shot,
you know, And uh, I'll just throw a little teas here, Chris,
(57:00):
we got some beef.
Speaker 3 (57:02):
Beef nice tea.
Speaker 1 (57:08):
I couldn't okay, I don't know if these are food
puns or not. I couldn't even tell Matt you're were
you were so cordial all podcast. But it's to settle
I'm well worried, all right, Calen, what about you?
Speaker 8 (57:28):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (57:28):
Just falling about with Michael Bean a podcast that we're
very hard at it. But also if you sign up
for our Patreon, we do meetups once a month and
they get a little spicy. We droped some behind the
scenes stuff that we can't reveal even on the regular Patreon.
And uh, you gave out quite a good tease earlier
on an episode, Chris, I think that miss it because
he got up because you were so annoyed with me.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
But yeah, this meet up, I have a I have
a cruise story that I'm I'm deaf. I'm almost positive
I can't say on air because I don't know, possibly
for legal reasons, I'm not sure, but but it's again.
It is a story that I did not find out
about till three years after it happened because it was
(58:11):
such a secret. Mmm, I can't wait, all rights? What
about you?
Speaker 6 (58:20):
I'm going to be at Barnes and Noble at the
Grove in uh, the Barnes and Noble at the Grove
at the Grove the Fairfax, you know Los Angeles.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
Books.
Speaker 4 (58:37):
Got Starbucks in there now right.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
Be there shopping section.
Speaker 6 (58:46):
Ralph Pazzulo asked me if I would host the Q
and A in his book signing on Sunday, August thirty first.
So the book is the Great Chinese Art Highest and
it's pretty fucking gnarly awesome, high tech. Fucking criminals are
you know? They first robbed the Swedish King's Palace and
(59:10):
stole a bunch of Chinese artifacts. Turns out that this
all dates back to the Opium Wars when fucking Britain
and the Dutch raided China's Sun Palace, and then the
one hundred years of fucking shame, and then the last
one hundred years, and there's fucking organized crime and shit
and organized crime in China that the government's fully aware of.
(59:34):
They operate and one of the things that they do
for pride is they steal back monuments and vases and
fucking jade carvings that were originally looted from them and
they bring it back to China and no fucking country
can do anything about it because they're risk with fucking
(59:55):
going to war with China.
Speaker 2 (59:57):
Like China's like, what are you gonna do it? What
are you gonna fucking deal? So anyway, I gotta not
only read the book, but then interview Ralph about it.
So that's what the next.
Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
Hell.
Speaker 6 (01:00:10):
So August thirty, first at noon and then at seven o'clock,
two shows in Torrents at Mom said yes with Corolla
and I'm doing like.
Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
Twenty dude, all right, go see Dawson IRL. And then
as for me, yeah, it's definitely check out Patreon. I'm
playing at Marina Wine for Saturday of September, which I
think the sixth, so in Long Beach, So come checking
out playing there and we'll see you all later for Patreon.
(01:00:41):
Thank you again for listening. We appreciate it. We love you. Goodbye,
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