Darkness To Deliverance | Overcoming Trauma, Addiction, and the Occult - The Word At War

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Nobody just happens into New Age. Nobody just happens into witchcraft.
There is so much to do with our bloodline and
our DNA and things that come from our past. I
think they were tapping into that DNA by the time

(00:24):
I was fourteen years old and we were going to
psychics and having tarot reading. So I was deep in
all the New Age and the witchcraft was like steeped
in everything I did then in the meditation community, I
mean I learned how to do reiki and energy therapies,
and I was introduced into blood magic. People don't realize
how many different realms that exist and that we can

(00:47):
actually step into.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Welcome to the War Room.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
I'm Kyle Milholland, your host, and thank you for joining
me once again on the Word at war Well. My
guest today is Kelsey decker So. Kelsey is an author,
international speaker, and the founder of Morning Glory Global, a
survivor led evangelistic nonprofit fighting sexual exploitation and sex trafficking
with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Kelsey helps set the

(01:21):
captives free with the blood of the Lamb and the
word of her testimony, of which we are going to
get into today because it is an amazingly powerful testimony.
If you want to find out more about her, you
can actually go to her website morning Gloryglobal dot com,
or you can also email her at morning Glory Global
seventy seven at gmail dot com, or you can check
her out on social media, Facebook, whatever the case would be.

(01:44):
So I want to start off today just to kind
of highlight this conversation. I will do the exact same
thing that Kelsey did in her book when you read it,
and I would encourage everyone to get a copy of
the book, and I'm going to hold it up here
in a second so you could see. There's also going
to be a link down in the notes for the show,
and if you're watching this, there will be times where
I'm going to have links pop up on the screen
where you can get a copy of her book. But

(02:05):
we are going to be discussing her book today, which
has her testimony of Mary Magdalen in the Mirror, and
I am going to read a couple of paragraphs that
she has written on page one point thirty five of
the book. And you will find out very quickly when
you read this book that it is hard hitting. A
lot of the things that we are going to talk
about today, for lack of a better term, are a

(02:25):
little bit of a trigger warning. So if you are
sensitive to heavier topics, just be prepared because we're going
to get into a lot of things today that are
not easy to hear but important to highlight from the
standpoint of the fact that we are under attacked by
the enemy, and the enemy does not care about our sensitivities,
and he hits anywhere and anything that he can get

(02:46):
his hands on to hurt us.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
He's going to do.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
But I'm going to read this excerpt from the book
because it is absolutely beautifully written and highlights an outline
of her story wonderfully. My life was filled with suicidal ideation, drugs, sex,
and porn addictions. Before or Jesus saved me from the
pits of hell, I was living in poverty, idolizing men
and myself, hearing voices in my head, practicing witchcraft in

(03:09):
all things New Age, panic attacks, anxiety, PTSD, and OCD
were prevalent as I hopelessly prostituted my body, engaged in
blood magic, and endured as many forms of abuse as
I had masks to hide my inner turmoil. I was
Satan's minion. Through and through after Christ came calling, I

(03:31):
experienced limitless freedom, forgiveness and favor. I know pure joy, love,
laughter and lightness, prosperity and purpose. I see supernatural signs
and wonders, abundant blessings and gifts of God. I am
a worshiping prayer warrior, interceding and living eternally devoted. I

(03:52):
have hope in restored relationships and kingdom connections. By His stripes,
I'm healed and redeemed. I am His beloved, a daughter
of the most High and overcomer. So, Kelsey, thank you
so much for joining me today. I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Wow, thank you so much. That seriously almost made me cry.
I was like, who wrote that?

Speaker 3 (04:14):
It's called the Holy Spirit, girl, but through your hand?
Because he knows what kind of gifts you have. So yeah,
and you are. And I shared this with Kelsey. I'll transparent, honest.
I don't hide anything. If you know me at least
a little bit, you get what you see. You are
a wonderful writer, you have a gift that has been
God given for penmanship, and your your story is tragically beautiful.

(04:36):
I think it's probably the best way to put it,
but it's the beauty that comes out of that that
is the most important part. But your your pen is
equally as beautiful. So it's truly a gift, and it
was a gift to read. So thank you, thank.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
You, thank you for taking the time to read it.
Not everybody does.

Speaker 3 (04:50):
That before, I know, so I want to share with
everybody how Kelsey and I met so and this is
I'm just going to tell everybody too. Honestly, this is hilarious,
and this happens more often than not, so pray for us.
We have had for the last probably ten minutes now
or so, we have had monstrous tech issues because and
this happens all the time because Satan does not want

(05:13):
us to do what we're doing because it's going to
hurt him.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
So we know we're on the right track.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
But I want to share the story of how we
met so I through this process in the last two
years of my life have been difficult for my wife
and I as we've have dedicated our lives to this mission.
And I would love to be able to tell everybody
that when you make it your point to jump in
for the Lord and actually get in there and start
doing a lot of things, and you turn your laugh
over to him. Sometimes the enemy comes for you because

(05:39):
you're a threat. So if you feel like that, you
know that is happening in your life, then you're probably
on the right track, that you're doing the right thing
from the perspective of God, that you're putting the enemy
in his spot he doesn't like. But anyway, I'm literally
driving uber, you know, just to kind of make some
extra money, and I am having a slow day. I'm
kind of grumbling and I'm not happy about it. I

(06:02):
get a ride from the airport in Indianapolis, all the
way kind of the northeast side of town, and I
was literally just going to come pack it in for
the day and go home.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
And this ride.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
Comes up, and I'm like, Okay, I guess i'll take it.
It's close, So I accept this ride, and I go
over and I pick up Kelsey. And through the process
of this, well, how long maybe ten minute ride is
at most, not even not not.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Long, not long at all.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
Through this process of a ten minute ride of two
strangers who have never met before, have no idea what's
going on each other's lives, we get to talking and
I don't even remember how we got totally opened up
to everything, but you were sharing kind of like where
you had come from because I picked you up from
a rental car company, and that just kind of led
to a whole conversation about what we were both working

(06:49):
on in our lives. And ultimately what it came to is,
I turned my life over to Christ fully and have
been doing the things that I've been doing with this podcast.
And she started telling me about all the things that
you know, very quick snapshot because obviously it's a it's
a deep story of things that are going on in
her life and what she has now been doing, which
is focusing on you know, trafficking situations and all kinds

(07:11):
of other stuff you know, in the definitely the sexual
realm of where Satan is using you know, things and
operating from that perspective to cause much harm. And so
we just had this conversation, we prayed together. It got
to where, you know, to drop you off, we pray together,
and we you know, set up this time to talk today.
And so that is how we got to today, and

(07:32):
it was this wonderful God moment for both of us
in our lives where we were just in all kind
of like, how crazy is God? And he is constantly
moving to put people in our lives to work together
to cause harm to the enemy.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
That is just it's such an incredible story. Honestly, that
was so incredible because I had just come from this like,
you know, six day very intensive like fifty hour you
know conference, and not even a conference, it was a training.
You know, there was like maybe forty of us and
very intense like sex trafficking training on how to rescue

(08:13):
you know, children out of sex trafficking. And I'm exhausted,
right my car had died like before this event, and
so I had to get a rental car. So then
I bring everything back, you know, I've driven six hours
I and then I'm like, okay, I got to go
drop this rental car off. And then I'm waiting for you,
you know, I'm waiting for the and usually I get
uber and I think it was actually lyft, and so

(08:34):
you're correct like all the details of it, right, I
think that what makes you just see it was such God.
And then we're sitting there and again, I don't know
how it came up either. And I had at that
time was like taking a break from podcasts. I had
done like fifty of them in two years, and it
was just like, you know, I was like, I need
a break, and then You're.

Speaker 4 (08:54):
Like I've got this podcast and I'm like, oh my
getting breaks make and so.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
It was just it was really cool and I just
I love it. And the best part for me was
that I had come right like I said, and this
was like a very heady atmosphere. And I'm a very
like I like to be out in the spirit. I
like all the like supernatural stuff. So I've been going
like Jesus, where are you in this whole thing? Right,

(09:23):
Like this was just so heavy, so heady, like where
is Jesus? And then literally I get in this car
with you and then at the end, this was like
the end of my trip, and the Lord sealed it.
He sealed that trip with you dropping me off at
my home and praying over me and praying over my ministry.

(09:45):
And I mean I was blown away, like just I
was like thereas I was like Thearius. I know he's
been there the whole time, but that's the that's the
sign I needed. I'm such a sign person and I'm
like that that was the sign I needed from God.
So it's incredible.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Yeah, we all are. I think I'm that way too,
you know. Definitely the sign because let's face it, you know,
what we're doing is hard. It's heavy work. Man, it's dark.
It's dark, you know. And that's the whole point and
the conversation we're gonna get into today.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
And thank you so much for having this conversation.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
I know you've had a lot of times, but you know,
as part of your testimony you have to continuously rip
open these these wounds to share with everybody the redemption story.
So thank you for doing that. But yeah, it's it's
difficult work. You know, it's it's dirty, you know, it's
not pretty, you know, and we need these little moments,

(10:39):
you know, of affirmation along the way. I guess more
and less affirmation, but confirmation that we're doing what we're
have been called to do and that God is present
in this. So that's I can relate so much to
what you just said because it's so very true.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
Yeah, and I know you guys are probably if you
can't see me, but I'm having the strange thing going
on with my camera. It keeps going in and out
and having all this stuff. So I'm telling you this
has never happened.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
Yeah, and I wish I could say it was the
first time I've seen it, but if not, so, you know,
and then I just look at as one more confirmation
that we're doing what we're supposed to do right now.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
So it's all good.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
But yeah, shifting gears, you know, do a hard shift
into getting into you know what we kind of read
a second ago on those pages. You know, it's we're
we're gonna get to the redemption park because that's the
beautiful part at the end, but we need to walk
through all the things that, you know, we're really critical
to get you to that moment, because one it highlights
that no matter how broken you are, no matter how

(11:39):
far gone you are, and I know we kind of
share this back and forth too, you are not far
enough away where God still doesn't love you and wants you.
You are still you know, He's just waiting. He's waiting
no matter what you've done. And I think that the
Bible is a great example of we see some of
our biggest heroes in the Bible do some of the

(11:59):
worst things, and I don't think that that's accidental. I
think that's intentional to show us that God is waiting
for that wonderful redemption moment, So you know, to kind
of transition into that, you know, we start with everyone's
story always starts at their childhood, right, and in a
lot of times, the brokenness is where that begins. And

(12:21):
so if you would please just kind of share your
upbringing and some of the things that happened to you
when you were when you were young.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
Yeah, So I love what you said there too about
like who who the Lord calls and and it is
it's like he comes for the broken ones. See, like
you said, everybody in the Bible, they're all like these misfits.
They're all for the just crazy broken, like yeah, even
even the ones that he called in the New Testament, right,

(12:48):
I mean, these are not righteous, holy people that are
going to church every Sunday or going to synagogue or
you know all of like and these are these are yeah,
just the wild ones. So I love that. I love
being a misfit. I love but yeah, you know, and
that was my whole life. That was my life before Christ.

(13:10):
It's my life now. And as you can see, like
we're gonna go through this story and it's really dark,
but there's always joy and you know, that's what he's taken.
It's like he delivered me from all these demons and
he just blessed me with that oil of joy, and
so there is light and there is hope. And by

(13:30):
the time we get to the end of this, as
crazy as as it's going to sound, and be like,
you know, Jesus is always there. So that aside. My
upbringing was pretty dark, you know, it really was. I
was just a very very timid, very shy child. I
was born to the Christian science community. That's what my

(13:56):
parents were a part of when I was really young,
from basically when I was orn into about six years old.
They were part of that community out in Saint Louis,
and so we had moved out there to be a
part It's like an international global center there, and so
we were a part of that community. And what Christian
Science is, for people that don't know, it's basically like

(14:16):
a new age metaphysical Christianity. It's not even Christianity, it's this,
it's a twist on it, a twist on the truth,
like most things are, like any New Age witchcrafticult. I mean,
the longer that I'm walking with Christ, the more that
I'm in Scripture, the more revelation I'm having, Oh my gosh,

(14:38):
even in just the past few days, things I'm experiencing
and going wow, like it's just a twist and it's
ever so slightly. And that is why people get so
deceived because it looks so much like the truth, but
it is not. And you know, the more I mean,
the Bible says, Scripture says that as we go on,

(15:00):
time goes on, we are going to get more and
more deceived that that things are going to We're going
to think those people are godly people. We're going to
think those words are from God and they're not. So
we have to be so discerning in this time, and
not just discerning, but in our in the Bible, in
the Word, in prayer, like really taking that time and intimacy.

(15:24):
So I was in this group and it was just
very deceptive, although everything was like metaphysical love and light
at this same like, you know, they don't believe in,
you know, taking anything pharmaceuticals, which I still, you know,
I'm still kind of lean on that vein, but there's
a time and a place where they're very very hardcore

(15:46):
and you know, but they they did they said, you know,
scripture Jesus came to heal and so of course I
was so young, I wasn't really familiar with these teachings,
but that's what I was around at the time, and
so everything was, like I said, very lovely, but under
the surface, it's like there was just this darkness there,

(16:07):
you know, even in my home. I just remember a
lot of fear, a lot of you know, kind of
abuse going on. But I was very tapped into the
spirit realm, and I do believe this is something like
this is a revelation I've never shared on any any
podcasts before, but I'm really starting to see that, you know,

(16:31):
a lot of these things, nobody just happens into New Age,
nobody just happens into witchcraft in this lifetime, Like there
is so much to do with our bloodline and our
DNA and things that are you know, that come from
our past and and so where before I believed in

(16:52):
reincarnation right now, that's not what I'm believing in now.
I've had so many past life regressions before, Kyle, like,
I've gone to people who specialized in that, and what
I'm understanding now is that they weren't necessarily tapping into
a past life, right, We're not reincarnated. However, I think

(17:16):
they were tapping into that DNA because that's like intrinsically,
it's in us, like we hold and we store that
in our bodies, right, And so it's like, I mean,
now looking back to those regressions, Sorr, I'm going off
on this. I don't know why, but I now looking
back at some of these regressions, I'm going, Wow, that

(17:36):
was actually like my Germanic bloodline, you know, like I'm
like fifty percent German, and so some of the things
that they talked about, I'm like, oh wow, I'm having
to do that work of like you know, repenting for
the things that you know, my ancestors have done and
and that kind of stuff. So yeah, just all that's

(17:57):
like a very exciting kind of new revelation. And I
just wanted to share that because I think we can
just think, Oh, does people just happen into this stuff?
They just stumble upon witchcraft? And you know, how does
the devil kind of choose? Right, It's like you're chosen,
just like God chooses us, Jesus like we are chosen ones,

(18:17):
the devil also chooses. He's gonna be choosing like nope, Okay,
that's going to continue. That cycle is going to continue
until we do go off and break those things off
in our bloodline. And just to say, oh, well, the
blood of Jesus covers everything, Like no, that's super lazy,
super passive. You know, there's a lot more work that

(18:39):
we have to do and be very proactive in our
walks with Christ. So all of that said, you know,
whatever it was that that kind of came along with me,
I seem to just be in that vein of you know,
I was able to kind of just see these shadow figures.

(19:00):
I was very in tune with, like the very realm
and you know, that kind of stuff. Since I was
like four or five years old. And then we're in
this community. We get out of the community, my parents
get divorced at seven, they both leave Christian Science. We
moved to Indiana, and I took that on as like

(19:26):
my fault. Like I thought that their abuse was was
something that I had done, and so I took all
of that on as a child. And I also experienced
some sort of sexual abuse during that time as well.
I know that there was physical abuse going on in
our family. I don't have those memories they haven't come
back to me yet. I do believe the Lord's going

(19:48):
to reveal all of that in time, but I do
know that there was some sort of sexual abuse. So
so then you know, after seven years old, I'm experiencing
like these really intense bouts of depression and anxiety. And
I'm a young child, right like this was it wasn't

(20:08):
matching up with like my age. And so by ten
years old, I'm being put on antidepressants and you know,
taken just to find out, like, what's going on with me? Why?
You know? Am I this way? And so I'm living
my sister and I were living with our dad at
the time, and again these shadow figures came back, which

(20:30):
now I know through actually through some people that we
were mutual people we know earlier was a joy was
Vicky Joy, Yes, Vicki Joy Anderson through actually talking on
a podcast with her the other day and she was
just saying, again, how you know, yeah, these these shadow

(20:51):
figures are very very common for people who have been abused,
and that sexual abuse. And so then again I know
I'm jumping around here, but by fourteen, I'm spending this
time with my dad, but I'm very anxious you know,
and just very depressed, very shy, don't have a lot
of friends. And I had actually wet the bed. I

(21:14):
talk about this in my book, which is another sign
of abuse. I had wet the bed till I was
like thirteen years old, right until I was thirteen and
so so that because of that, I just didn't have
any friends. I couldn't really have sleepovers things that just
normal kids do, adolescents do. Then, at fourteen years old,
I got a job at like a local pizza rea

(21:37):
and there was a guy there who started flirting with me.
And I had never experienced anything like that in my life,
and it was like, wow, I'm getting this attention. And
he starts like talking very suggestively and you know, just
very sexually towards me. And this again, this was very new,
and he's like, you know, we should we should get

(21:58):
together and I can, you know, kind of teach you
some things that you've never experienced. So we get together
outside work. I was like staying at my mom's that
weekend and I snuck out of the house and this
guy was he wasn't my age, he was twenty one
years old. You know, most of my life I didn't
see that as a big deal at all until now

(22:20):
I have a sixteen year old daughter, and I'm like,
if a twenty one year old got near my sixteen
year old.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
Daughter, You're going to take a dirt broke, right, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
I'm like year old at this point, looks right, I'm.

Speaker 3 (22:38):
Like, yeah, like pump your brakes, man, Yeah right, yeah,
I mean ultimately we would do that.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
Now clearly as you.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
Know absolutely that he absolutely was a twenty one year
old with a fourteen year old is a pedophile. And
so you know that night in his ford, you know,
white Ford, Bronco Backseata there, he did show me some
things and so I was pretty traumatized after that, I
mean very very traumatized. And you know, I go back,

(23:08):
I go back home, and I don't want to be
too explicit, but I'm just I mean I just had
blood just dripping from me and that moment, like I
will never forget that moment because it was just like
I had no idea. I mean, I've never been exposed
to anything before, and it was very traumatic. But as
a lot of things, you know, this opened the door.

(23:29):
It just it opened the door to more things, you know,
the devil to just wreak havoc on my life, and
so that's what he did. I then got this kind
of like sexual urge, and after that it just really
didn't stop. It did not stop until I got saved

(23:50):
at forty years old. And so I got, you know,
with this other guy, older, older guy at school. He
starts driving me around. He's like intered, uses me to
smoking weed. So we start doing that and I'm sneaking
around and so my dad finds out. I come home
one day he has put all of my belongings from

(24:11):
my bedroom into trash bags and place them on the
front lawn. This was like suburban Indiana, and he called
my mom to come pick me up. So I go
to her place and she know, she doesn't even have electricity.
You know, this is we had a phone, I think
in the basement of this apartment building. We didn't even
have her own phone. And so I'm there and I'm

(24:34):
just like, oh my gosh, my dad. You know, I've
just been completely rejected by my father. And this guy
starts coming over while my mom's at work and we're
still seeing each other, the one, you know who the
reason I got kicked out, And then my mom comes
home and catches us one day, and you know, it
was just all a bad scene and I am having

(24:56):
these voices in my head at this point. This is
when the voice is really started to get bad and
just like this torment in my mind that would continue
again until I got saved. And they were just like,
you know, there, your life is meaningless, like there's no
reason for you to be alive. Why right, So I'm
having this like suicidal ideation kicks in and I go

(25:19):
to the bathroom one night, I get everything out of
the medicine cabinet, over the counter stuff, prescription, and I
take about eight hundred pills, which.

Speaker 3 (25:29):
Is yeah, I remember saying that in the book, and
I was just like, holy cow, it's a miracle.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
You're alive.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah, that is the grace of God. I mean, wow,
Like that's the grace of God. It can only be
because I woke up the next morning and he had
a plan, and so I was rushed to the emergency room.
I had thrown up already so much they didn't have
to pump my stomach at that point. And then they
find out, you know, because they're trying to figure everything out,

(25:56):
like why has this girl, you know tried to kill herself.
And so I had to admit to smoking weed a
few times. And then they just because the system, the
system is set up for failure, they labeled me a
drug addict. That that was the situation. And so I
was sent downtown Indianapolis to like a in you know,

(26:16):
inpatient rehab facility. And I was there with just all
of these older kids. I was on suicide watch, and
I'm learning every single thing there is to know about
harder drugs. So I get out of there after a
few months, I you know, quote unquote graduate. I switched
schools because I'm known as like the suicide girl at

(26:36):
my old school. And I start dealing, you know, I
start getting into like harder drugs. I start dealing you know,
certain things, and I was going I had gotten in
with this like hippie crowd. So we're going to like
all these hippie festivals and we're doing like psychedelics and again,
lots of weed, and acid was the drug of choice

(26:58):
back then. Now mushrooms are much more in the psychedelics,
Like everybody's doing mushrooms. Back then it was acid. Everybody's
dropping acid. So we were doing lots of that, and
my brother would go with me sometimes. And so by sixteen,
I was hooked on cocaine and I was sleeping with
a coworker of my mom who lived across the street
from us, and he was like thirty two thirty four

(27:19):
something like that. And you know, so this just goes
to show it was like always these older men, which
you know, was probably trying to fulfill something from this
rejection from my father, I imagine, you know, trying to
like fill that void. And as we know, like that
void's never going to get filled by anybody earthly that

(27:41):
you know, that void is God. It's like a God
shaped heart right in our hole in our hearts, only
to be filled by Jesus. But I was trying. I
was trying everything to fill this void. And then I
got pregnant at seventeen, and I believed in reincarnation, as
I spoke about before about coming back, and so just

(28:05):
to kind of get through that quickly, I decided to
have an abortion. And I just assumed that, you know,
my baby would come back later in life when I
was ready. It's all about us, right, So when I
was ready, and I truly believed that, so I went
through with that despite another you know guy I was
dating at the time, who was twenty twenty one. You know,

(28:26):
he wanted to get married and just live in small
town Indiana, and I was like, yeah, no, that's not happening.

Speaker 2 (28:34):
I went out of there.

Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yeah, So so that was kind of then like the
end of the chapter. Somehow I graduated from high school
again by the grace of God, and I was working
full time dealing drugs. I moved out before I even graduated,
with sharing an apartment with my brother. And then one day,

(29:00):
after all these crazy things happening, we're still dealing weed.
We were you know, he and I were held up,
We were robbed one time, held up a gun point,
tied up in rope while somebody you know took took
all the contents of our apartment. But then my mom
called me out of the blue one day and uh
just said, hey, I just went you know, it was

(29:20):
my stepdad, but it was her boyfriend at the time.
We just went and did this meditation workshop and it
was incredible, changed our lives. You need to go and
take this, Like it's three hundred dollars, we're going to
pay for it. Just go and take this. So this
was nineteen ninety nine, and I was like, okay, you
know what, why not? So I end up going to

(29:41):
this meditation workshop and that is like a pivotal a
pivotal point and kind of everything changed.

Speaker 3 (29:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's definitely. As I was kind of
prepping for our talk together today, there were certain key points,
right that I picked out of your story, and that
was really the next really big key point. But one
of the things that you actually just said that I
think is really important that I want to just dive
back into. And if I could read a quick excerpt
from your book, if you're okay with that. Yeah, So

(30:12):
this is on page twenty six. And I had made
note of this because it just highlights beautifully, and you'd
worded it beautifully what you just said. Because if you
are feeling and you keep trying all these experimental things
to fill that hole in your soul right that you
just feel, and no matter what you try, you can't
get it done. This is highlighting it beautifully right here.

(30:37):
But we've tried, haven't. We've binged on alcohol, drugs, food, sex, porn, shopping,
and toxic relationships, filtering into eating and obsessive compulsive disorders.
We all want slaves to the world. I mean, what
wasn't I addicted to? The evidence is clear our only

(30:57):
hope is to make the Lord our refuge, slaves to
the Most High instead of the devil, because it is
Satan that tries to get you to use all those
other things except filling it with what is only the
only thing that's going to fill it, which is a
proper relationship with Jesus Christ. So that was a perfect
you know, I you know, had a note there and

(31:17):
I'm like, that's perfect. Let's put it in right there,
because yeah, you had said it, and you said it,
you know, just beautifully there, and you said it beautifully
in your books. So but yeah, this this next huge
thing that we are going to get you here in
a second. But one of the things, and I don't
share this too obviously highlight the shame of it, but
I share it to highlight what happens because you and

(31:39):
I had talked before we hit record, and how the
one thing that the church doesn't want to talk about
his sex. And yet it's the one thing that Satan
is probably using his number one tool in his toolbox
to destroy children and adults, and it's sex. And it's
because of whatever probably happened to you in your childhood,

(32:00):
and this experience at thirteen fourteen years old, that kind
of was the kickoff point that combined with the New
Age practices and all this that's already demonic in nature.
That's you know, an influence in your life when you're young.
But you know, you say in the book, by the
time you were eighteen years old, you had thirty partners
because you're just constantly trying to, you know, go back

(32:22):
to the well in some way to try to make
it okay. It's it's it's incredible what it does psychologically
to someone, and especially a child when these things happen
to them when they're young.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
Yeah, and that was just I mean, it was nothing
to me, right, Like, it didn't it didn't phaze me.
Like we hear that and it's like, okay, that's wow,
that's crazy. But especially when you're involved in all the
addictions and you're just in you know, you're in with
these crowds and it's just kind of like the natural thing.
And I think what's important to highlight is how prevalent

(32:54):
that is now. Back then that was crazy. Now that's
almost like a normal thing. I mean, the pressure that
teenagers experience now because of the Internet, because of the exposure,
because even I mean most teens are watching porn at
this point, and so there's these expectations on them that

(33:19):
they have to perform, that they have to give themselves
up in that way. And it's it's so sad. And
as you said, you know, the church doesn't want to
talk about sex, but the church is who should be
talking about sex. We shouldn't be going to porn to
learn about sex. We shouldn't be going all of these

(33:40):
other places. We need to hear about what it is
and and just going. And also but it's like it's
our relationship with Christ too, right, It's it's having a
relationship with Christ that's going to keep you, you know,
for wanting to stray outside, you know, of Him. It's
it's not even out side of ourselves, it's going outside

(34:02):
of Him and his will. And I think what the
church has done with sex is really to say that's bad,
that's bad, that's bad. It's like evil things. Don't talk
about it, don't do it just me, you know. And
so we're rebellious in nature.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
Yeah, yeah, it's our send nature. You had said something
earlier too that going back to that point. You know,
we see this throughout the Bible. You know, the Bible
talks about generational curses, you know, and for anybody that goes, oh,
that's just wrong, well no it's not, because even through
the blood of Christ we're saved, but we're still sinful
human beings.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
We are still falling.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
Right, We did not return us to our state prior
to Adam sin in the garden, right, I'm like, yes,
we should be changed, and we should be purging sin
from our lives is whatever humanly possible. And when you
truly give your life over to Christ, trust me, you
will see that drop drastically in your life.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
But you know, we are.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
Copies of copies of copies if you really look DNA
wise throughout time, you know, we are so suffering from
those events thousands of years ago that happened in the
garden of Eden. And so as we carry on, you know,
each subsequent generation has the you know, the stripes on
their back if you will, from the prior generations and
the things that they did. And so, you know, much

(35:15):
to your point of what you were saying before, I
just kind of wanted to throw that in there, but Yeah.
The next thing that you kind of get into after
this was, like I said, you know, when I was
reading as the reader, I noticed it was a monumental
shift in a lot of ways because it not only introduced,
you know, kind of furthering dangerous practices of you know,
religious experimentation away from God in Hinduism, but it also

(35:41):
introduced people into your life that really kind of play
a critical role in a lot of ways kind of
going forward for the next several years. So please do
share that kind of phase as you got into Hinduism
through this.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Yeah, so it was for the next eight years. It
was the eight years of my life. So still when
I was eighteen, I learned that that meditation technique. When
I went to that weekend workshop, I you know, I
walked in and I saw these teachers. They were dressed
all in white, and they had these Sanskrit names, and
they just looked like angels to me. You know, it

(36:15):
was like wow. And I did experience some semblance of
peace that weekend. I can't say exactly what that was,
but I you know it, I felt better, and so
excuse me. I walked away from that weekend and I
kind of made this vow with myself like I am
never going to truch another drug ever again. And I

(36:36):
actually kept that vow for seventeen years and I didn't
and so that was a positive thing that came out
of that, of course, until it would like come back
around and bite me later. But I so I got
myself into narcotics anonymous right after that though, to like
get off the drugs. I stopped, you know, hanging around

(36:57):
the group of people I was with at the time,
and which it was really hard for my roommate at
the time. We're still friends to this day. She's awesome.
But I had these visions essentially that weekend that I
was going to become one of these meditation teachers, and
they confirmed that vision. And so within like six months,

(37:17):
I don't know how long, I sold everything and I
got in my car and I moved out to North
Carolina and North Carolina's where there was like a big
retreat center at the time where people came from all
over the world and it was an international retreat center.
And so I worked as an apprentice to kind of
like earn my way into the teacher training program. That

(37:43):
property ended up closing down. I think about a year later,
and so I ended up moving to Canada. But throughout
this whole time I wore only white, you know, I
went by a Sanskrit name myself, and I just dove
really headfirst into this. So again it was all it
seemed good, right. It was like rising above the self

(38:05):
limiting beliefs. We had these mantras that we would say
in our heads and you know, trying to achieve enlightenment.
The whole point was to, yeah, to have attain enlightenment.
But the way that that was going about was in
just such a I didn't know at the time, but
it was so destructive. And it was about ten years

(38:27):
after leaving that I realized that was a true cult
by every sense of the word. It was a spiritual cult.
We were very much under control psychologically, spiritually, physically, financially.
We took vows to our teachers. That was just a
natural thing that happened. And they're the ones who give

(38:49):
you your name, so I had. You know, my teacher
was a woman and her husband, and they were like
our gurus, and I essentially ended up being like kind
of like an assistant to them. So I was very
privy to what was going on. You know, behind the scenes,
and so we had these group meetings. We would be
in every night and we would be sharing our experiences

(39:12):
of what we experienced during the day. And we're meditating
twelve to fourteen hours a day, so you know, you're
going through a lot of stuff during that time. You
are having to overcome your mind. I mean that truly
is So you're either overcoming it or you're just completely
going crazy. And I think it was a combination of

(39:33):
both really, because I had all this stuff from my
childhood right up until that point that I hadn't really
dealt with, and there wasn't a way to process all
of that, and if we brought it up, it was
kind of like taboo, like you just don't talk about that,
you're not ascending. It was called the Ashaia's ascension, so
the meditation was ascension, so you're not ascending properly all that,

(39:57):
And so then my teachers end up putting me in
several different relationships and this was like the first kind
of form of trafficking that I was involved in, which
I didn't even know that's what it was until a
few years ago when I went, Wow, that is definitely
the definition of trafficking, and so I was coerced into
these relationships. I was placed. I mean the second one

(40:19):
that I was put in, my teachers just said, there's
this guy. He's come up from Mexico. You know, I
knew he, you know, had money, his family had money.
And so they said, you're going to town tonight. We've
gotten you like a hotel suite and you're gonna go
and you're gonna be with him. And I'm like, what,
Like it was so far. I was like, I had

(40:39):
no idea what was going on, and I had no choice,
Like so you know again, that was a second time
that happened, and so I go into town the next day.
I begged them, like, you know, do not make me
be with him. It was like a horrible night. And
they're like, you were gonna just learn to love him.
You are going to learn to love him. And you
have to understand. I mean, I've spent years with these people.

(41:02):
These are people I've taken vows of poverty to. I've
taken vows of essentially completely giving up myself in every
possible way. I'd already given up my name, you know,
I'd given up my identity and replaced it with who they.

Speaker 3 (41:19):
Said that I was, So, yeah, this is effectively what
it would be. The way that I read it was
Imagine and we'll just look at it from a Christian
perspective for a second, but imagine a pastor that you're following,
or a rabbi, right, you're following, and that you have
followed for years, and that you highly respect, and you
are trusting them and have given up your freedom effectively

(41:41):
to follow them and learn from them, and then they happy.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
To do this.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
Yeah, that's a pretty powerful place to be in, you know,
from a mind control.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
Absolutely. And in the book, I don't always say it,
like when I'm speaking my testimony, but in the book
I talk about, you know, I did have this relationship
with a guy, you know, that I was in love with,
like we had been together for couple of years, and
he ended up sleeping with my teacher. And so I
mean talk about betrayal. Like you said, that's like a pastor.

(42:09):
That's like your husband or wife or somebody that you're
with going and sleeping with your pastor. I mean, that
is just it's again just devastating. So it was just
throughout my life, one form of abuse after another. It
gets very exhausting the story. For most people, it's like,
oh my God, do things ever and it gets quite exhausting.
But when you see what happens at the end, it's

(42:30):
pretty miraculous. That's what's so great about it. So to
fast forward a bit, I was in that whole community
for eight years. I got out when I was twenty six.
I escaped. Essentially, they were not going to let me go.
The breaking point was that one of our teachers who
had reached enlightenment. I was living at a center with
him in San Diego and he was supposed to be

(42:52):
one of the bright, shining enlightened teachers and he ended
up taking his own life and shooting himself. And that
was really the straw that broke the camel's back, like, Okay,
this is something's not right here. And that's when I
started questioning things like never before, you know, because I
lived all over Canada. It wasn't just and then in
the United States, I was essentially planting these meditation centers

(43:16):
all over like church planting. And so that's what we
had done down in San Diego is that's why they
had sent me out with that guy that night to
stay in the hotel room because they wanted us to
plant a center down in San Diego and be able
to go back over the border. So we were we
were going back and forth over the border in Tijuana
and getting people to donate right to our cause and

(43:41):
that kind of thing. So finally I escape, I go
back to Indiana. I'm living with my parents. But the guy,
like we were together at that point, and so we
ended up getting married. I don't know why I did,
never wanted to marry him, but it was like, well,
he was kind of like my savior. I thought he
was going to be the one, like, okay, he's he's
his family's got money, Like it's gonna be okay. I

(44:04):
was just a hot mess. And he promised the sun,
moon and stars as they do. And so we were
married less than six months, and I already knew like
this wasn't gonna last, and so I just left one day,
left him, left my parents' house and got an apartment.
For the first time of my life, I was living
on my own. And and you know, up until then,

(44:26):
like when I was a teenager, i'd moved out, but
I was with my brother. I had always been living
in community then, and we had you know, dormitories that
kind of thing. So now I've got this apartment. But
I had these experiences where my teachers would come and
visit me. In my dreams. I would see them like
uppear in my bedroom. Like it was really crazy. So

(44:47):
I was still going by my Sanskrit name for a while,
wearing white for a while. That finally you know, went
away and went back by Kelsey, started wearing what we
call street clothes. Again. This is like, I mean, it's
I'd been in prison and let out. I had no
I didn't know how to live in the world. I mean,

(45:07):
I had been living in the mountains of British Columbia.
I mean very secluded. We were, you know, we didn't
have that much contact with our family or friends. We
were you know, encouraged not to. And so now I'm
out in the world and I'm like, woooo, this is exciting.
So I start going out, I'm drinking, I don't and

(45:29):
I just I just suppress everything. I don't want to
talk about it, and I essentially just I stuff it
down for about ten years. And again that's when I realized, wow,
I was actually in a cult at that time. So
then very quickly I met my now ex husband, but
and I got pregnant very quickly with my daughter, who

(45:50):
who I ended up having. I thought she was my
reincarnated daughter. She is not, but I had her. She's
sixteen now and she's been saying glory to God. But
we you know, it was just another abusive situation. You know.
He was an alcoholic and a lot of just like
verbal emotional, psychological abuse going on again. Just you're just continuing,

(46:14):
you know, it just goes around and around, and when
that's all you've ever known, it's those familiar spirits and
that's it. You're just going to continue those cycles. And
so we were together for about sixty years. During that time,
I just dove headfirst into the immigration system. He's from Alsalvador,
and so I spent six years of my life just

(46:35):
doing that. You know, I didn't know what else to
put my focus on, and so that's what I did.
I needed something, and so I got papers like green
cars for him and his two children that lived in
El Salvador at the time. We moved there at one point,
moved back, and then after our divorce is really where

(46:56):
I kind of like everything imploded. That's where it just
got I think, darker than ever before, because everything up
until that point, right, it was like that crescendo and
it's like wow, okay, it all came flooding back, and
so I was just a hot mess. You know. I
just left one day. I just left him with my

(47:18):
five year old daughter. We were living in a friend's
studio apartment. She went to stay with her boyfriend and
I could barely even get off the floor. I was
just crying, you know, constantly. But during this time, I
had started going to this CrossFit gym and I had
never worked out a day in my life, and it
was like, I've got to get in shape, you know,
I've got this like, you know, five year old. She

(47:40):
was like four when I started going there, I got
this older toddler. And so I started like gaining this
confidence through through again being in community. I was in
community again, so that was like comfortable to me. And
then I just by physically, you know, getting stronger, I
would emotionally and psychologically getting stronger. So I was able

(48:03):
to make that choice to leave this abusive marriage. But
there was again, you know, there was a guy at
this gym, and this is another big pivot. This is
another monumental moment. I don't know if you wanted to
say anything about that, but it definitely gets it continues

(48:25):
to get a little harder at this point.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
Yeah, no, it's it does. It's you know.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
And again, there are several times throughout the book when
you know you were going to be bringing some things
to the party that are hard to hear. This is
one of those moments because we're going to get we're
going to get deeper into, you know, the sexual side
of things and the destructive side of when you've had
all these things happen throughout your life. And there's a
couple of things that I was reminded as you were talking,
because it kind of plays into the setup of all this.

(48:53):
When you were a kid. I remember you kind of
explaining that you felt really kind of gangling out of place,
and you know, everything was just kind of feel, you know,
right when you were a kid, and you know you've
got these weird giftings and things or things that you
felt were weird that didn't make sense and all this.
But this, the sex thing, is something that carries throughout
the entire book, and it definitely and you are unfortunately

(49:14):
sad to say you know, not a unique story in
the totality of all of this, because it does happen
a lot much to what we've talked about in the church.
Needing to address these things, to get out in front
of it, because it is a powerful, powerful, powerful destructive
weapon of Christ, especially or excuse me, the of Satan

(49:35):
that Christ can save you from when you have had
things happen your whole life. So you know, by this
particular point, you've had something happened to you when you're
a child where you know, it seems like maybe God's
preparing you before we fully open that door and look in, right,
but it was definitely there. This is carried on now
as a teenager where you've been abused, and you've been

(49:55):
abused by men, and now you've gone into basically a
cult situation where you have been trafficked, right, And so
without some kind of intervention from the Lord and help,
those things are not just going to go away. They're
going to be very powerful undercurrents that are going to
continue to grab you and pull you down because Satan
knows that he can use them. And so if anybody's

(50:18):
listening to this and you maybe have gone through some
of these things, just be prepared for the next part
of the conversation, but ultimately want you to know God
loves you, Jesus loves you, and you can't escape this
and you can be saved. So I think the only
thing I wanted to say was that before you kind
of share what's next.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Amen. This is definitely part where it's like, yeah, no,
matter what you've done too write like like you said
once you were gone for him.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
No.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
So this this guy that I then met at this
gym I was going to we start sleeping together and
you know, kind of dating, and he was a bit
younger than me, and he introduces me to this whole
world that I just you know, hadn't been and even
privy to, Like I had no idea this really even existed.

(51:04):
And so it was the whole world of BDSM, which
some some just refer to like S and M, but
BDSM the acronym is bondage domination sato masochism, So sadism
is essentially a sadist is somebody who loves to they
like to hurt, somebody who likes to hurt others. And

(51:26):
then a masochist is somebody who enjoys receiving pain. So
you're either inflicting or you're receiving pain. And that's not
just a physical or sexual but that can be emotional
as well. You know. So this world sometimes included sex,
sometimes it does not. But this is a whole other

(51:48):
kind of like secret society that exists in the world,
and it is all over and there's different levels to this.
There are people that are trafficked into this as well.
Thankfully that was not the case for me. I did
willingly go into this. It was a very interesting dynamic

(52:10):
for me because essentially I got into receiving very very
high levels of pain. It started with this guy, but
then it evolved, like we stopped seeing each other and
I went out to Atlanta. I was on a work
trip and I was getting a training for my job
and I ended up at this club. It was kind

(52:32):
of like a club. It was this warehouse. Honestly, this
warehouse kind of in the middle of nowhere, Atlanta and
totally unmarked. But I had heard about it through a website.
There is a website they kind of call it like
the Facebook for kinky people, and so people who are
into BDSM you can go on there. You just share
your updates, share your pictures, your stories, the things that

(52:53):
you've been doing, just like you would on Facebook, and
so there's a community on there, and so I became
came a part about community and learned about this event
in Atlanta. So when I was there, I mean, I
show up to this event and it's it's kind of
like you would imagine in the movies, like Atlanta was
a lot more high level like Atlanta was. It was.

(53:16):
It was very nice, very very nice, and well nice
in the sense of a lot more glamorous, I should say,
but to get in, like there's memberships. You have to
pay memberships to get into a lot of these clubs.
And I was there because I was a single woman, though,
like there was kind of like okay, in you're visiting,
so you can come in. And I'm just in like

(53:38):
lingerie and I'm got like stilettos on in lingerie and
I'm just walking around and I'm you know, I'm a
little bit like terrified because I'm like, what have I
gotten myself into. I've always been an adrenaline junkie, like
I am, and so it's like at the same time
I'm getting high, like I'm getting my kicks off of
this whole thing of like being completely terrified. And so
I'm walking around and there was like all these different

(54:01):
what they call like PlayStations, and so people just engaging
in all kinds of acts. I don't even think there
was sex going on that night, but it's it's various
types of abuse and torture. And so what I learned
that night was all about rope bondage, which actually is
like shabari rope bondage, which is an ancient Japanese type

(54:26):
of bondage and that's where it originated. And I saw
a guy what they're called riggers, that's somebody who like
strings somebody else up in rope, and he was doing
this performance and I was like wow at the time,
I thought it was really beautiful. And then he invited me.
I mean, so this was like, oh my gosh. You know,

(54:47):
I got invited by somebody to like go and do
a scene with them, and I was literally not kind
of the pun I was. I was totally roped in.
I was absolutely roped in at this point, and I
felt very special, you know that he invited me the
next day to meet up and like do a private
scene together. And I would find out that he's like

(55:08):
the most prominent famous rope like rigor in all of Atlanta.
So this is like, you know, I'm just like wow,
Like I'm just you know, feeling amazing in this attention.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
The one thing that you've you've wanted is just genuine
affection your whole life. And so I would I would
assume that you know, you're you're now getting this right now,
somebody wants me, you know, for for this, and so
that's another.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
And so when I got strung up essentially like I mean,
you're you're like a rag doll and you're just strung
up in rope in all kinds of positions and you're
being and they're pulling it tighter, and I mean, it's
it's about how much pain that you can possibly take.
And so after that experience in Atlanta, I come back

(55:58):
to Indiana the same Here it's definitely not as classy,
but there were a couple, you know, a couple different bars,
clubs where this would go on. These things take place
in people's basements. They're called dungeons, and so all of
these clubs and stuff, they're all called dungeons, and would
just participate in these things and it was always to

(56:21):
just see how far I could push myself, Like it
was always about pushing my own personal boundaries. But you
would have different dynamics, and the BDSM scene, there's all
kinds of perversion, different sorts of power dynamics you're involved in.
Often there are contracts that you sign with somebody that

(56:43):
you're doing a scene with that basically shows what your
limits are. So I became this fetish performance artist, and
so in these clubs and at these places, I would
get strung up in this rope and not just that,
but then I would also be beaten. And so this
would be with whips and paddles and just anything you
can imagine. And I mean to the point where I'm

(57:05):
i mean black bloody blue for weeks on end. You know,
I'm like, I'm like wearing long sleeves of the summer
just to like, you know, cover everything up. And you're thinking, like, well,
why the heck would you do that? Like that is
just satanic, right, Like why would you do that to yourself?
There was something about it. It's like my whole life

(57:26):
I had been abused, right, and now instead of the
abuse happening against my will, in my mind, I rationalized
it with like, well, now I'm allowing the abuse, like
I'm I'm asking for this, like I'm actually asking them
to do this to me. And there was also a
thing where a theme throughout my life was disassociation. I

(57:50):
mean I could write an entire book on just disassociation.
And so that's like I never wanted to be in
my body. So you know, it's like through the suicide attempt,
like I just didn't want to be here. I just
didn't want to be in my body anymore. Through meditation
and all of these things that I was doing, I
mean I never even talked about as as a teenager
that I got roped into. You know, I was reading

(58:13):
astrology and horoscopes and all of that by the time
I was, you know, fourteen years old, and we were
going to psychics and having tarot readings and angel card
readings and so I was deep in all the New
Age and the witchcraft was like steeped in everything I did.
Then in the meditation community, I mean, I learned how
to do reiki and energy therapies and blood magic. I

(58:36):
was introduced into blood magic. So there was a lot
and so then when this came knocking upon my door.
It was like, Okay, here's another way that I can
get like roped up, or I can get beaten to
the point where I could leave my body at will,
like I knew how to kind of like escape the pain,

(58:59):
and those dominance in this situation, they know how to
get you to that point. So the torture is kind
of like this build up to be able to get
you to escape. So I didn't mean to go as
details as I did on that, but.

Speaker 3 (59:16):
No, that's I think it's it's terrifying and sad, but
it's important to understand what is happening because you know, again,
for me sitting here and having the conversations I've had
with people, read what I've read, it is a classic.
This is all just classic tactics of the enemy to
fracture your mind, to break you. Because now you now

(59:38):
you have gotten to the point where I'm sitting here
thinking too, and I'm curious to get your take on this.
I guess one of my questions is do you feel
like you were targeted and you were able to disassociate
so easily or have this ability to do this maybe
at will because of your natural ability spiritual giftings.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
Yeah, definitely. I think that why the enemy's hurt me, absolutely,
And you know, I mean God always had a plan, right,
he always had the redemption plan, the redemption story, and
so I would for sure, you know, say that, like
because what now, how the Lord's like us me? Right?
For the kingdom is like so powerful, and so he

(01:00:25):
tried to do anything he could to just take me out.
And looking back, like if I my memories of being
in those clubs and the people around me, like they
were not even people. All I see are just demons,
like just a se of demonic faces, and so it's
not even people. So it's like, imagine, like I had

(01:00:45):
this going on, but what's going on with that person
who's doing the abuse? Right, what's going on for all
these people who are in the audience just liking to
watch this happen. I mean that they enjoy watching us
just get completely tortured. And I did switch to the
other side at one point where then I had you know,

(01:01:08):
this guy, this boy we call him, you know, where
he was kind of like my submissive and I tried
kind of switching the roles where then I would like
be the dominant, and you know, it was kind of
like trying trying to beat him and do things to him,
and I just couldn't do it, like I really tried.
I actually I took classes and wanted to become I've

(01:01:31):
never shared this before either, but I wanted to become
like a dominant, like a paid one, because there's a
lot who actually get paid to be dominance, and they
get paid a lot of money to do that. So
I took classes. I was I was training to become
one of those, and I could not do it. I
couldn't inflict the pain the way that it was like
being inflicted on to me. And so I don't know,

(01:01:53):
thank God, something in me just couldn't couldn't do that
to others.

Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
I would think that would be a just sitting here
and knowing your story and listening to and talking to you,
and I would think that would be a huge trigger
point for you because you're basically in your mind, you're
you're having to do to someone else and generate the
trauma and pain that has been done to you. And
I would think that would be a huge for your spirit,

(01:02:22):
especially because you have a more of a more of
a gentle spirit, that that would be a huge wall
that you probably would have a hard time.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Definitely. I was like I was the rope bunny, right,
that's what you call it. It's more like you said,
just more of like the playful and you know, playful sexy,
like all that kind of stuff, but but not the
not the aggressor, like definitely yeah, not the money. So
so yeah, so praise God, I couldn't do it. So

(01:02:53):
this whole lifestyle then led into I mean all kinds
of stuff happened. This is when dr got reintroduced into
my life. Because what happens is that when you also
when you get to these states of disassociation, they actually
there's a name for it. It's called subspace. And so
you're reaching that point and that's the goal is to

(01:03:16):
get to subspace, and it's this state of just complete euphoria,
I mean just totally euphoria, and it's a surge of endorphins,
I mean a total surge. But then what happens is
it almost like depletes you because then there's a sub
drop and when you come down from that, I mean

(01:03:36):
it's like, oh my goodness, you know, it's very very difficult.
And so you have like what we call an aftercare
bag that has like a blanket and a stuffed animal
and these little things like you're a child and in
food and water. To help self, you have to self
soothe or have your your your top, you know, you're dominant,

(01:03:59):
like has to help you. But you've got this bag
of stuff that helps you because you're a mess. Like
you said, you're fractured. Your mind and your body are
just it's just fracturing. And so you're trying to then
put the pieces back together by yourself on the floor.
And so of course when you're in that state and

(01:04:21):
you're so like now you're depressed, now you're anxious. What
do you want your your It's an addiction, it's a drug.
You just want to get high again. You want to
go back up into that state as soon as quick
you know, as soon as possible, as quickly as possible,
so that you can get that drug again. And so
so because I couldn't, I couldn't. I was still a mom.

(01:04:43):
I was living this double life, Kyle, like I've taken
my daughter to her dance lessons on the weekends. I'm right,
like nobody needs nobody knew complete double life. I mean
I had a couple friends and I was like, oh,
I'm doing this and I'm like bragging about it. They're
look at me like you are freaking nuts, and I

(01:05:03):
didn't know it. I'm just like I'm bragging, like look
at all this, and I'm posting all my stuff on
this fetish website and and I'm thinking this is amazing
and that it's empowering. I'm thinking this is empowering. So
I start doing a lot of like MDMA, the psychedelics again,
the mushrooms, I start I start up this like new

(01:05:25):
age coaching career again. Like I'm like, I'm gonna get
back into all this. I mean, it was just crazy.
And then a friend told me about another website because
she was on that one with me, and she was
kind of like meeting up with men. And she's like, Elsie,
you know, like if you're you're sleeping around, which the
BDSM did not always include sex for me, like those

(01:05:48):
were kind of different. Like I also would just go
and be promiscuous and just have sex with people and
you know on whatever, you know websites at that time,
dating sites like Tinder and stuff, and so she's like,
you're you know, you're doing these things. You can get
paid for that, Like you might as well just get
paid for it, And it's like, well, heck, yeah, let
me do that, like why not. And again, this is

(01:06:10):
something that's very very prevalent with our teenagers, with our
really any age. It's that idea of like, I'm already
doing that. If you're promiscuous, you're already doing it, why
not get paid. People just don't see any issue with
that anymore. Well, there's a lot of things they don't
see any issues with. Uh you know, I mean, god,
I was going to the Pride parade in San Francisco

(01:06:30):
and it's like we're just okay now with people just
walking around but haked with nothing on. So yeah, yeah,
just like somebody said, oh my gosh, that would make
like even Sodom and Gomora like that would make like
that that whole thing would be like, you know, what
we are doing now is crazier than that. So I then,

(01:06:53):
you know, I get into the world of just prostitution
in selling myself. And the first time I actually done
that was even before that website. It was straight after
my divorce, and that was when I had responded to
a Craigslist ad. I was living with my parents once again,
with five year old daughter and I needed money, quick cash,

(01:07:15):
and somebody had posted this ad a Craigslist was really
big back then, and I, you know, I responded and
I went to this guy's house down on the South Side,
gated community, very nice, and I walked in and it
was just like pitch black in there, except for a
glow coming from the bedroom. And I am told to

(01:07:37):
come in there. I mean, I could have been killed,
I could have been trafficked, like so many things could
have happened to me. It totally crazy, and so but
I ended up doing the deed and he throws his
money at me, and you know, and I leave. I
was so terrified that I didn't do it again. But
it also again it was like that rush, that adrenaline rush,

(01:07:59):
and so now I'm like, like, well, I could try
that again. So I get into kind of like escorting.
Sometimes it was like going out to dinner with men.
Sometimes it was just doing that of forming relationships. Other
times it was just strictly sex. But I was able
to then get all these New Age certifications and build
up my big career in that way through this money

(01:08:21):
that I was making through prostituting my body. So yeah,
just a big mess.

Speaker 3 (01:08:30):
Yeah, there are a couple of things too that that
you had gotten into by this point that I want
to touch upon, because you know, you've already had some
experiences obviously with the cult practices, even if maybe you
haven't totally identified that's what they are, it seemed like
to me. And one of those things that is kind
of something now that I wanted to get into is
you had, by this particular point you had kind of

(01:08:51):
started to experiment with astral projection. And because because now
you've you've started to because it can in essence, basically,
this is your departure from your body, right, Yeah, so
here you are, right, you're primed for it, you can
do it. You've had these experiences and so you're now
you're starting to do this. So explain for it to

(01:09:12):
everybody that's that's maybe heard the term it is not
totally familiar with what it is. Explain what it is
and explain like your experiences with that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
So there's again there's different levels to that. And so
there's the astra projection where I mean even like government
mind control that's included in there, where you know they
train people to be able to go and literally see
so you can leave. Yeah, you can leave your body
and you can go to other places. You can go

(01:09:38):
to other countries, you can see you can be in
people's bedrooms. I know that somebody in my life used
to astra project into my bedroom. So there's levels that's
kind of like the highest level that you you know,
can get to with it. But then there's also just
what you were saying of just like leaving your body.
And there were times like when I was going through

(01:09:58):
all of this, where I could I could just leave
and I'd kind of be like up here, you know,
like I'm up here in this space, kind of like
looking at myself. And it was never in the sense
of like oh I want to go and look on
other people or do anything. It was just kind of
more escape my body. But astra projections very I mean,

(01:10:20):
that's it's very dangerous because you are going in I mean,
you're messing with other people's atmosphere. You know, you're disrupting
their atmosphere, and so there's things that you can do
to actually affect the atmosphere that you're in in a
different location. So, like I said, you can go and

(01:10:40):
look that up with with government mind control and all
that kind of stuff and how they used it.

Speaker 3 (01:10:45):
But yeah, I've done a show. Actually it was called
Project Gateway, which were actually FOYA so Free of Information
ACTI classified documents from the CIA, and they were using
astral projection to actually and this is the craziest thing
when you read it, because you read it and you're like,
this can't be real, but it sure seems like they

(01:11:06):
did it. But they actually had someone travel back in
time and actually go to Mars. It sounds so insane,
but you're literally reading this. I mean these are c
I can I can point you to the website. These
are CIA declassified documents, and maybe it's just something to
throw out there to keep us entertained, but you know
they have experimented with this stuff. There's no doubt about it.

(01:11:28):
And the exchange is crazy. So if you guys want
to go watch that one, it's it's a Project Gateway
is the name of the episode. But I'm gonna throw
this up here really quick and just take a quick
pause before we kind of take the next step in
this journey, because the next step in the journey, we
promised there's a redemption into this, right It's it's it's
not all deep. Include we promised. It's the good parts
coming up, right, the best part's coming up. But that's

(01:11:51):
kind of the beginning stages of what we're going to
get into next. But I just want to throw Kelsey's
book up here, you know, for you guys, and show
you this as well. So and if you're watching, you
actually have a a tab you can actually click on
your screen there a card, but you can also look
in the show notes and the description notes, and then
you can also head over to the website the word
at warmedia dot com because I'm gonna make sure when

(01:12:12):
this comes out that Kelsey has her own tab over
there with links to her book and all of her
social media and all her website links as well. So
Mary Magdalen in the Mirror, if you want to get
all of the story of Kelsey's wonderful journey, definitely.

Speaker 2 (01:12:27):
Pick that up.

Speaker 3 (01:12:28):
So yeah, I kind of highlighted there, you know, the
next the next step in this in this journey, and
you would kind of highlight it by this particular point
on page I think seventy and seventy one is the
Babylonian debauchery, is what you had called it, right, Because
at this point, man, I mean you're you're into it, right,
You're you're into occult things that you've gotten into with

(01:12:49):
you know, some of the blood magic stuff, you have
astral you know, got into astral projection. You're doing the
BDSM and all these different things. So you are full
on into the Babylonian debauchery as you as you so
beautifully wrote on in your book. But this next kind
of steps here is really critical because it's kind of

(01:13:12):
the It's kind of like the the asteroid hits, thes
hits the Earth right, the live shatter, but the live
shatter is what ultimately gets you to the point where
you finally surrender your life to Christ. And so you
have you referred to the gentleman, and all the names
in the book were changed to protect the guilty. But no,

(01:13:37):
but but you know, obviously you had to for that
from that perspective. But Ravana, who is one of your
initial you you had really fallen in love with him
the way I read it, right.

Speaker 1 (01:13:47):
Yeah, so he had Let's see, we had met on
my nineteenth birthday in North Carolina, and so we met
he he's thirty years older than me, and so we
had met at that time. We ended up being in
a relationship for about a year. I mean I think
of that thirty years though, thirty years. I that that's

(01:14:08):
a big difference. I was nineteen, he was forty nine.
So clearly my my mom wasn't really into that situation.
It was very normal there, like that was very normal
and it was it was okay. So he introduced me
to like tauntric sex. He's the one who introduced me
into blood magic, and we started doing you know, rituals
with that, and he introduced me to a lot of

(01:14:28):
stuff and it was there that again, like you know,
my time with him was very supernatural. It was a
lot of like you know, being able to see into
the fairy realm again. And that's what people, you know,
what you just spoke about with Mars and you know,
these experiments. People don't realize how many different realms that

(01:14:48):
exist and the places that we can go and that
we can actually step into. And so I mean I
even say that when I go on the strip clubs,
it's like, no, we're actually stepping into a complete, deletly
different realm. Like it's not just a room, it's a realm.
So with him, there was just always just these different
realms that we were kind of you know, sliding in

(01:15:10):
and out of and it was also a very volatile relationship.
But then after we split up and I ended up
going to Canada, he you know, he he had lived
a whole life. I was nineteen, he had lived a
whole life before that, and uh so, and he was
from well not originally, but he grew up in the UK,

(01:15:30):
and so he just traveled the world. He had his
own little cults, spiritual cults that he had in different places, Croatia,
some different places. So after we split up, over this
twenty year span, we had always kept in touch in
some way. It's like every few years, like he would
reach out to me or I would reach out to him.
And you know, I believe that that the reason is

(01:15:52):
because we did do that blood magic together and that
stuff is very uh it's it's a huge tie. I mean,
this goes beyond soul ties. These are covenants and contracts
and you know, I mean the blood right, we know
that the blood is the most powerful, and so we
always had this tie. And I would say that he
kind of groomed me over that time, like always kind

(01:16:14):
of had me like roped in in some way, and
he didn't always agree with what I was doing. It
was actually quite the opposite, like he would kind of
mentor me a little bit. I saw him as like
one of my first spiritual teachers, and so he was
just like, you know, why are you sleeping around and
you know, all that kind of stuff. He did not
agree with it. But I actually published a book in

(01:16:39):
I remember what year it was now, in twenty nineteen,
and that was the first book that I published, and
I had met this woman. He was like, Kelsey, You've
had this crazy life. You know. I was leading these
women's goddess circles at the time, and I was kind
of known in Indianapolis for this, like being this new age,
you know, like goddess coach leading these women's classes and

(01:17:02):
dance circles and stuff. Got his circles. And she said,
you've you've had all this stuff happen. You should write
a book. And she was a book coach, so she
walked me through that and I poured my heart out. Honestly,
it's pretty graphic, but I still think it's a brilliant book.
I really do. It's definitely the dark side, but I
think it really I never took it down. People have

(01:17:23):
asked me, why have you not taken that book down?
And in one way, I wouldn't want anybody to read that,
and at the same time I leave it up because
it really showcases the dark in the light, like what
is going on in the mind. I mean it really
It was a lot of poetry and prose, and so
you know, I have a gift for that, and so

(01:17:43):
it just it was the dark recesses of my mind
and it shows. It really shows where you're at when
you're that demonically tormented. So I wrote this book and
when it comes out, this guy, the Ravana you're talking about,
he I forgot that was his name in the book.
He reaches out to me, well.

Speaker 2 (01:18:08):
I think, yeah, you had said you had.

Speaker 3 (01:18:10):
I think he'd used an alternate name too, because that
was his is Hindu name, right, Yeah, but I think
he'd actually called him Jake.

Speaker 1 (01:18:20):
Yeah, get an English name. Both like both. But yeah.
So he called me up one day and was like,
you know, do you want to come spend mule tied
with me? And he told me later he had never
even used yule tide, Like why would he say that?
So he invites me over to London and we basically
started up this this whole relationship again, and it got

(01:18:40):
very volatile again, very quickly. But that's all I ever knew.
So it's like, you know, I don't know. I didn't
know what healthy relationship looks like. I'm still yet to
have a healthy.

Speaker 2 (01:18:54):
I promised Kelsey. You know.

Speaker 3 (01:18:55):
The other thing, it's it's funny because it is amazing
how God works. As we've talked about, I had a
conversation with someone earlier today who actually divulged some abuse
from their childhood. They haven't really shared that with many people.
They shared this with my wife and I and it
just makes me so sad because I just see all

(01:19:17):
these the men, you know, it makes me disgusted for
my own gender because and I know men are under
a tremendous attack, and I don't want to make it
a man bashing session, but it just it just breaks
my heart because it's like, how can you girls go
through this stuff and have all of these things happen
to you and then trust us at all. It truly

(01:19:38):
breaks my heart from that perspective, because it's, you know,
not all of us are evil demons, you know. But
I also look at the other side and think, you know,
what you just said to me breaks my heart because
you're going to have to overcome that now, Like whoever
the guy is going to be right, you're going to
struggle to overcome that because of what other guys have done.

Speaker 1 (01:19:58):
Yeah, you know, when the Lord started to like shift
things for me because I didn't I mean, I didn't
even have like male friends. I didn't want to talk
to men for a long time. I was like, no,
my ministry is women. And then he started bringing men
into my life and I started ministering to some men
and had some like good male friendships and I was
like wow. And you know, I had some negative relate

(01:20:19):
like or relationships with pastors, even actually some pretty traumatic
stuff with some pastors. But then I had a really
good pastor that you know, was incredible and he really
showed me what love is. And then I also when
it all shifted for me though, was when I got
into the anti trafficking field. And I'm just going to

(01:20:41):
go off on this just for a minute, because I
and it was actually that training. It really started hardcore
that training where we met right after that, but I
went to this training and since then I've gone to
many more, several more and seeing these men who are
on the front line and they are rescuing children, and

(01:21:03):
they are former like military and CIA, and you know,
like these are hardcore men and and seeing their love
for country, love for you know, Christ, and and love
for just the children and rescuing women and children, and
I mean, I just I saw for the first time

(01:21:23):
like it. I want to cry because I've really been
able to see like that. Wow, there are like there
really are good men out there. And I'm super blessed
in this season that God has placed now like all
of these very like protective, you know type type men
in my sphere, my you know, kind of my sphere

(01:21:44):
of influence in in the trafficking anti trafficking field. So
it's it's been really beautiful what he's doing in that
journey with him right now.

Speaker 3 (01:21:55):
Yeah, it's and I'm going to take a deviation too
off of that because it's you kind of made me
get tears of my eyes because it's it's so good
to hear that. And there are and and I want
to defend guys a little bit too, because you know,
you would you had touched upon this earlier. And it's
a good a good reference point, you know, a lot
of these a lot of the dominators are obviously going
to be the men, and it's just the difference in

(01:22:17):
between sometimes what happens between females and males when we've
been abused, right when a guy has been abused, because
nobody's going to get into that.

Speaker 2 (01:22:25):
Nobody's gonna wake up one.

Speaker 3 (01:22:26):
Day and get into the bondage, you know, and domination
and say to masochism and all these types of things.
Those guys probably too have been through some form of abuse,
and it always goes back to that. And I can
tell you right now other than you know, children seem
to be a huge target of the enemy for sure,

(01:22:47):
and then men. And I think that's because if we
can fracture the men, you know, the strong, defend the
ones that are supposed to be the defenders, then it
makes it easier to break in to the house and
get everything else. And I know that right now men
are utter a tremendous attack. You know, there's a definite

(01:23:09):
attempt to want to effeminize men and degrade men. You know,
we have this thing of toxic masculinity, which you know,
a guy can obviously be toxic, anybody can be toxic,
but it just seems like a very concerted attack to
attack men, which if you can attack men, you can
destroy the family, you know, much like your father. You know,
I kind of you know, think of that too. As
I was talking to you today and I have been

(01:23:29):
talking to you. You know, you were longing to have
this relationship with your father, and maybe a lot of
these things were somehow you know, fulfilling those in a
way that's just a broken, broken method. But if you'd
had a really good, strong relationship with your father, maybe
things would have been very different, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:23:45):
So what had happened to.

Speaker 3 (01:23:46):
Him And we're not we don't need to get into this,
but the question is what had happened to him that
had broken him and had worn him down to not
be that for you, right, And so you see this
this catastrophic kind of domino effect of what can happen
when those things happen. So I just wanted to say
that and thank you for sharing that, because it was

(01:24:06):
good to hear. I needed to hear that to know
that there's a lot of guys that are good, that
are wanting to do good.

Speaker 2 (01:24:13):
And that I'm not alone in the.

Speaker 3 (01:24:18):
You know, because because we are, we kind of feel like,
and that's a tactically the enemy to no matter who
you are, you know, to make you feel alone. And
when you feel alone, you feel unempowered. You know, you
don't feel like there's anyone around that can be a
champion for your cause or whatever the case is. And
that's a very very dangerous place to be. It's lonely,
you know, naturally the word is alone, right, So you

(01:24:39):
feel that way.

Speaker 1 (01:24:40):
Yeah, and you kick the nail on the head with
you know, wanting to just tear apart the family union
and unit. That's about destroying the family unit. And you know,
they they it shows even in trafficking, like I mean,
if you look at any trafficking situation, it is always
like the children come from a fractured home, like a
one person home, a single person home. You know, often

(01:25:04):
it's even one of the parents that are trafficking the
child themselves, you know. And so of course we're seeing
that straight out in everything. It's it's to destroy the
family unit. And because that's what God wanted, right like
when he created us, he wanted family, he wanted family,
and it's super important. So yeah, but right now, I

(01:25:27):
mean we're standing up right, we're taking a stay in,
and like that's why the church has to stand up,
that the men need to be coming a church and
getting out there and doing the stuff as much as
the women. Right, Like we can have women filling our churches,
like the men need to be right alongside them, fighting
the good fight, being the protectors, being the defenders right

(01:25:48):
of the children and the widows and the women. So yeah,
so all of that aside, we will kind of go
back a little bit. We'll go back. So I'm at
this point though, where now I've got this person, you know,
that's kind of groomed me over this twenty years. He
calls me up come to London. I'm like, okay, So

(01:26:08):
I end up over there, just visiting. I went over
to visit for a couple of weeks, and during that time,
you know, I didn't know behind my back he had
been drinking and you know, doing whatever kind of drug
he was doing. I had no idea and I don't
know if it's just hash, but he was doing all
kinds of things. And we end up in this like
hotel room one night in I mean little tiny tiny

(01:26:32):
town in England, very very small town where you you know,
can hear a pin drop and he attacks me because
he had drank all this alcohol, like two fifths and
he attacks me. Yeah, and I had gotten out of
everything at this point, the prostitution, the BDSM, like all
of that like had gone to the wayside. I had

(01:26:53):
finally like seen the light. I had started going to
a therapist at this point as well, who I saw
off for a good four years, and she really did
help me a lot of start processing some of the things.
And so he attacks me and I did not ask
for this, and you know, he was on top of me.
I seriously thought he was going to kill me. I

(01:27:14):
thought he was gonna shatter my you know, my bones
and my face. Like I just it was so intense,
and so I start screaming. The police come, the manager
of the hotel comes, Police come, he runs off. They
end up you know, chasing him down, finding him, and

(01:27:34):
Social Services comes, takes pictures. I mean I had a
handprint around my neck and you know, bruises all over
my body. He didn't remember it, you know, even the
next day at all that he would just he would
get black out drunk all the time, not remember anything.
But the next morning, what did I do. I went
to the police station, and I was trying to like

(01:27:56):
get him out, and they're just looking at me, like,
what do you even know who this guy is is?
He's an ex convict, like you know, he had he
had been in prison in Germany for twelve years for
you know, drugs and a lot of different things in
his past. So they're like, do you know who he is?
I'm like, yes, I do, but I love him and
you know all this like I was just under this
spell and I was completely roped in and tied in,

(01:28:19):
and so we I end up going back to London.
He's telling me not to but again even when he
was telling me no, like it was it was such
a weird dynamic and I felt so like I needed him,
like I know, you can't leave me, Like you can't
leave me, you can't, Like I was in my own psychosis,
complete posis. And so I end up at the end

(01:28:44):
of our trip, we make up, he gets out of
you know, jail, We make up all that. I end
up coming back to the States. And this was in
twenty twenty, so this was actually March of twenty twenty
when all of this happened. When I went first went
over there, So in March of twenty twenty was when
the big announcement got made of like the whole pandemic,

(01:29:05):
you know, and so that was going on at the
same time, and so we didn't know what was happening.
And there was kind of this big plan that I
was going to come back to the States, sell everything,
move back to England, and we were going to go
buy some land. He promised me the world as they do,
and you know, we were going to buy this land

(01:29:26):
and live off the land, and there was no way
we were going to get jabbed and you know, just
all that stuff. So I did that. I sold everything,
and I left my daughter with his dad, with her dad,
and you know, her dad was like very supportive because
he's also psychotic, and so he was very supportive, like, yeah,
you've always dreamed about doing this, Just go. And you know,

(01:29:49):
little did I know that he had just been arrested
a month prior for something else, and you know, just
wanted me out of his hair. And I didn't find
that out for like a couple of years till a
couple of years later. And so I then go back
to England and I'm there, you know, for another eighteen
months and I'm in lockdown in London in this tiny
little shoe box apartment and you know, got back into

(01:30:11):
doing the blood magic and just deep paganism. And he's
teaching me all about demons, like we're kind of doing
all this demonology study, and he's telling me how demonized
I am, and not from a Christian standpoint, but from
like even an occultic standpoint, like you need to get delivered.
So he's sending me, Okay, my abuser is having me

(01:30:31):
take classes and go ex versus to have like these
demon exercise for me. And I'm talking to these people
and I'm telling them about the relationship and they're like,
it sounds like he's the one with the issues, honestly,
and I'm like, yeah, but I have to do this
and he's telling it you know, it's me. So there
was just a continuation of this like psychological, spiritual, you know,

(01:30:52):
verbal just abuse. I mean, it was it was worse
than anything else I had been through it until that point,
Like just that the constant state of like fear that
I was in, I mean it was constant. I couldn't
even sleep at night because I mean there were times
he came in with a bucket bucket of water in

(01:31:12):
the middle of the night, and just like out of
the blue, would just pour it all over me and
pour it on my head and you know, chase me
down in the streets of London. Like I had people
come up to me on the streets asking me if
I was okay, because I would just be crying and
I would just be so terrorized, is how I would
call it. Just totally terrorized. And yet I couldn't leave again,

(01:31:34):
just under the spell. So at this time, the voices
in my head, I mean I was like slamming my
head against the wall to get these voices to stop.
I was like clawing at my head wanting to tear
my hair out, and I had started cutting, like I
started cutting myself and you know, wanting to just like

(01:31:54):
die again. I just got back to that point. But
like I would have these voices that would just say
just go to the kitchen and you know, just just
cut yourself or take the scissors that I had and
just cut yourself. And so I was doing that. And
then he had this crazy experience because even though he
was this huge occultist, like he had also studied the
Bible since he was a child, and so he knew

(01:32:15):
scripture front to back. He could speak demonically in tongues.
He would do that frequently, and it was just so
I can't make sense even to this day, I cannot
make sense of like most of what happened there. And
so he but he had this encounter where he hadn't

(01:32:36):
been able to get off the floor. He's a seventy
year old at this point, and he had all this
back pain, and so he cries out to Jesus one
night and he's like, if you exist. I didn't know
he had done this, but if you exist, then like
heal me. And the next day, after like a month,
he got off the floor and was able to walk
around and had like this miraculous healing. So he's like,

(01:32:57):
oh my gosh, giving God the glory. And he decides
to start going to church. So he's going and checking
out all these churches. We were both avid readers, so
we had like just bookshelves of books, right, and so
he was like getting rid of all his occult stuff,
and I was like, what is going on. I want
nothing to do with this, Like I was completely freaked

(01:33:19):
out and like whatever, And he would invite me to church.
I think I went one time and it was just
but it was just like a normal not you know,
no power in it church whatsoever. So it's like whatever, yeah,
very good, verious. So there was there was just nothing.

(01:33:39):
So you just go and you're just like okay and
you leave. That's it. And that's what most people experience
with church. And so then finally there was there was
a morning I was supposed to go with him again
to this other church and I did not go. I
started manifesting really hardcore that morning, but that night I
ended up going. There was an evening session at six pm.

(01:34:02):
So I got to that church and it was a
little Baptist church in East London. I did a podcast
with some guys from England from the UK. I've been
on their podcast twice now and they have told the
I mean, the coolest story but just of how Americans
don't realize how wild that was for me to even

(01:34:22):
end up in a little Baptist church in East London,
like in what prior even used to just go on
in East London, and you know the history of London
and all that, so they're like that is just beyond wild,
and so yes, and so I'm in this church in
the pastor starts preaching from Deuteronomy, and it's Deuteronomy eighteen

(01:34:46):
nine through twelve. And it's like the subcategory, like sub
title is occult practices and the NIV version is the
one like that I know, like really gets some and
like what got me that day. So he's reading all
this whole scripture and it's about basically, if you have

(01:35:07):
practiced any of these things that you are detestable some
say abominable to the Lord, or you are detestable to
the Lord your God. And so I'm listening to this
and I'm telling you, Kyle, it was the word of
God that instilled the fear of God in me. And

(01:35:29):
so here I am. I don't even know if I
believe in God. I don't know what I believe. I
certainly had never even heard about a savior, I mean
nobody had. I'd never heard the gospel. I'd never heard
it reach like that kind of thing. But the thought
of being detestable to the Lord your God, that it
said it like, it just broke me. And I'm sitting

(01:35:51):
there and I am sobbing, I'm hysterical. My entire life
flashed before my eyes. There was this tunnel of life
light going between the pastor and I. All I saw
was this tunnel of light, and I just knew right
in that moment that I everything I'd ever done was wrong,
Like everything was wrong, and so I'm a mess. And

(01:36:15):
that was my come to Jesus moment.

Speaker 2 (01:36:19):
Isn't that amazing? I'm going to read this.

Speaker 3 (01:36:21):
I pulled this up while you were talking, and I
switched over to the NIV just just to read it
exactly how you experienced it that day. And this section
is actually a titled Occult Practices, and this is Deuteronomy eighteen.
We're going to start in verse nine, go through verse thirteen.
When you enter the land of your Lord, God is
giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways

(01:36:43):
of the nations there. Let no one be found among
you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire,
who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, or engages in witchcraft,
cast spells, or who is a meet or spiritists, who
consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable

(01:37:06):
to the Lord. Because of these same detestable practices, the Lord,
your God will drive those nations before you you must
be blameless before the Lord, your God. Yeah, so you're
hearing this and obviously it says the testable I think
with two or two or three times, and it's pretty

(01:37:27):
pretty heavy. You know, it's telling you exactly and you know,
just you know, for a reference point. Obviously, God is
purging all of this from the land because it's like
all of the other nations, you know that have have
been given over to other gods, you know, have have
done these things right as they as they've worshiped all
these other false gods. You know, they have sacrificed their children,

(01:37:48):
and they have done sorcery, and they have interpreted omens,
engaged in witchcraft spells, all these things right, and you
know it doesn't necessarily mention sex in here, but that
is always a part of everything. And so you're seeing
and not only are you hearing detestable, but you're hearing
specific things that you know that you've been engaged in
in your life. And it's just frying pan.

Speaker 1 (01:38:10):
And so afterwards the pastor just does this bee line
come straight to me and introduces himself, right, and he's like,
do you want to have coffee with my wife? And
idamorrow and I'm like yes, and so I go and
I share my testimony, and I mean, this is like,
I don't know if this guy's ever heard one bad
thing in his life, let alone, you know. I mean

(01:38:31):
what I'm going at me like, oh my gosh, don't
tell anybody else that's ever yet. You know. He's kind
of like like that. But he's like, I really think
you should start getting on our prayer calls. And I'm like, okay,
So I start, you know, just kind of getting all
these prayer calls with them and going to church. And
I went home my dad. Actually, so my dad and
I after fourteen, we were estranged for seven years and

(01:38:54):
then we came back together and then saw each other
maybe once a year the rest of my life after that.
And then about ten years ago, he got bored again.
He got saved and born again. He was brought up
in the Jehovah's Witnesses. That's that was his background. Yeah,
and so he got born again. And so he had
sent me a Bible before all of this for Christmas,

(01:39:17):
and I was like, forget that. I put it up
on a shelf and it just was gathering.

Speaker 2 (01:39:22):
I remember you, I remember you, ye.

Speaker 1 (01:39:24):
So I went home that night and just like got
that Bible out and I was like, I just need
to know, and you know, and at first, it doesn't
feel like anything right. It's just these words, and I'm like,
what am I reading? And this is just weird and
I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. And
I just googled, like I was just looking up all
of like new Age to Jesus testimonies, That's what I
was doing on YouTube. And so I found this one guy.

(01:39:48):
I won't say his name, but he was He was
really good for where I was at at the time,
that's all I will say. He then ended up being
very against like when when I found out he was
totally like thought ranging tons with demonica, I was like, okay,
we're done now. I was like, so we're done and
so but he was good for where I was at,
and he helped me to see that the stuff that

(01:40:09):
I had been doing, you know, just by watching his
videos was wasn't right. And so I dove head first
and my partner was as well. But the thing is
he never really fully surrendered, and you know, and he
had way more demons like going on than I did.
I mean, he had his life was nearly twice as
long as mine. He had a lot more stuff going on,

(01:40:30):
and his background is more dramatic than mine is. So
I pray at this point he has I really really
pray that. But yeah, so he continued. You know, I
was removed a couple weeks later. I was removed from
the apartment by the police because he was afraid of
what he was going to do to me. So even
though I had Jesus, it's not like everything just magically

(01:40:53):
got better, right, And so after that I continued to
go back. I still just could not leave, even though
it's like I would pray to leave, but I just
couldn't do it. I didn't have the strength yet. And
then a few weeks later I end up in this conference.
We go to this conference because he had been going
to another church simultaneously or been to a couple of

(01:41:16):
conferences with this group who were from Nigeria, and it
was a Nigerian Apostolic conference, so a little bit different
than the little Baptist church that I was going to.
And I walked in like s yeah, just slightly. So
it was like one hundred and two hundred and fifty
Nigerians praying in tongues, and I'm like, what the actual heck, Like,

(01:41:37):
I didn't know if this was demonic, I didn't know
if this was God. I didn't know what was going on.
And I was still this is this is the thing. Yes,
I was saved. Yes, I gave my life to Christ
at that point. I didn't do some big religious salvation prayer. Okay,
I've gotten very much away from that. Like we've just

(01:41:58):
made everything an institution, including how we think people get
saved saying a prayer. That's not the end all be all.

Speaker 3 (01:42:05):
You know what, I'm gonna pause right here because I
got a button just for this. There you go, Yeah,
haven't we have?

Speaker 1 (01:42:15):
We not?

Speaker 3 (01:42:15):
Boy, there's about five things you said in that short
two sentence girl, if we were sitting side by side
of you at five in you until your handbled.

Speaker 2 (01:42:22):
Man, Yeah, that's a good thing. Yeah we have.

Speaker 3 (01:42:25):
We've made it a mess, man, We've made it such
a phony, phony show. And then you know, I'm gonna
let you please keep going because I know you're probably
getting ready to go exactly one place I had written down,
which is a tie end.

Speaker 1 (01:42:36):
Yes. So even though like that had happened, you know,
in my heart was with Jesus. I still was very
much demonized, like I still was being tormented and so,
but shortly after this conference, I went to I actually
got baptized in the Holy Spirit by watching a Derek

(01:42:57):
Prince video on YouTube of the different between water baptism
and Baptists in the Holy Spirit. Derek Prince leads you
through a prayer. At the end, I stand up, say
this prayer. Boom, I'm hit with the Holy Spirit. Start laughing,
have this grand experience.

Speaker 3 (01:43:12):
So then I you went exactly where I thought you
were going to go, because that's exactly what I was
going to bring up, was the whole Holy Spirit, you know,
being baptized in the Holy Spirit versus Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:43:21):
And so I get baptized in the Holy Spirit. And
that was the first person of the Trinity that I
really got to know, was Holy Spirit. And I think
that's kind of why my walk has been the way
it's been, and it's been just very, very supernatural and wild,
and I just won't accept anything other than that. It's

(01:43:42):
because I got to know Holy Spirit straight away. I mean,
he filled me with His spirit, and so I then
the lockdowns were lifting. I was working for this UK
travel blog and so I was just traveling around and honestly,
I would just ask Holy Spirit about everything, like where
are we going? Now? What are we doing? And I
would just wait to hear his voice. And so he

(01:44:04):
really became my friend. And so then fast forward, I
stopped going to all the churches because they were encouraging
me to leave this relationship and I just was not ready.
He's calling me his wife, We're gonna get married, you know,
all these things. And so then though, we get invited

(01:44:24):
to this conference after a couple months of not going
to church. Oh my gosh, I didn't go to church,
and I'm sure I'm still here, you guys, I'm still alive.
And so so I wasn't going to church, but I
was still full on having a relationship with Jesus and

(01:44:44):
Holy Spirit in God. So I go to this conference
and my partner had woken up like the day before
and he's like, we're not going to this conference and
I'm like what, And I'm so bummed because I just
want to be in fellowship. I just want to be
around some other people, like I need to get out
of here. And he had had this prophetic dream though,

(01:45:06):
which he didn't tell me at the time, but later
he basically told me that he had had this dream
that he had lost me, that he were at the
conference and he couldn't find me, and that I was
gone and he was running all over looking for me.
So you'll see why that was prophetic. So he tells
me I can't go either, but then the morning of
he actually says that I can go. He gives me

(01:45:28):
permission to go. So I'm super excited. Pack my bag,
get my car. I had a car that i'd bought
over there. I knew how to drive a stick shift
on the wrong side of the road.

Speaker 3 (01:45:40):
You're a hero just for that, girl. I saw the
best piece of advice in a movie one time. I
think the movie was the World's Fastest Indian or something
like that. It was Anthony Hopkins's movie. But it's fantastic show.
But one of the guys in the movie actually tells
him that no matter where you are in the world,
the driver should be on the side of the lane.

(01:46:03):
So there you go, if you're ever driving a side
tangent on the show to think.

Speaker 1 (01:46:08):
So I've in my car and so i drive to
this conference and I'm like talking with the Lord and
I'm like listen, and I'm super cheeky, and I'm like,
I want to get water baptized, Like I'm now ready, right,
I want that side of it. I was really ready
to just fully dedicate my life. And so I was like,
but I'm not going to ask for it. If you

(01:46:28):
want this to happen, you make it happen, okay. I
was like totally testing him, and he's like, all right,
test me, go ahead, yep. And so I get there
and then sure enough, at lunch there's maybe like fifty
people about That's what I remember, and this pastor comes
up to me, one of the many pastors. And this
event had like several ministries come together for this event,

(01:46:52):
and they were like several of them were recovery ministries.
So I was like, I just I love God because
if it's like I was around broken people, right, these
weren't just church goers. These are like genuine like addicts
and people who have been in and out of rehab
and all this stuff. And so I was like, okay,
I have something in common with these people. And so

(01:47:14):
this pastor comes up to me and he's like a
little Birdie tells me, you haven't been baptized. Go change
it's in an hour, and it's like not an option, right,
just go change.

Speaker 4 (01:47:25):
Okay, you got it, so what I'd prayed for it,
So of course I brought clothes, you know, and so
I go change and I come down and there's a
super embarrassing video clip of this on YouTube.

Speaker 1 (01:47:41):
But I kept up there and it's of the moment
like of my baptism and just where I was at.
I mean, I look completely different, like you wouldn't even
recognize me. And it's on my website too, but it's
where I had to give this like sixty second testimony
of my life. So I do this quick thing and

(01:48:01):
I'm sobbing. I mean, I'm just sobbing. And So the
book that you've mentioned a couple times is called Mary
Magdalen in the Mirror, Freedom from Demonic Oppression. The reason
God gave me that title, not me. God gave me
that title because that was my Mary Magdalene moment. And
it was I say, it's like Mary Magdalen meets Damascus Road.

(01:48:24):
It was like this, just like you said, that powerful explosion.
And so I went into that water and I rose
up out of that water and I could barely stand up,
like I was so disoriented. And I get out of
that tub and I realized, like, what has just happened

(01:48:45):
is that in that baptism, in that instant, Jesus set
me free from like every demon that had ever been
like cohabitating, like living in me, just over me, my
whole life, Like all the demons had to flee, and
I'm I had to sit down because I couldn't even
stand up. I was so dizzy. And for the first

(01:49:08):
time in my entire life, it was just silent, completely
silent God. That alone is discombobulating. I mean, it was
so silent in the peace of God. And I'm just
sitting there and this little old man's like, honey, don't
you want to go and change. It's really cold, You're
all wet. And so I finally get myself up and

(01:49:32):
I go change and I come back and it's like
I was a moth to to it, like they were
all a moth to a flame. I was the flame,
and everybody's like flocking to me, like they all saw
like there was this transformation that took place, and there
was this huge bright light now and you know, the

(01:49:54):
Lord didn't just leave me empty. He had emptied me
of all of this, but as you can see, he
filled me with that oil of joy. I mean, he
just filled me with that anointing. And you know, that's
how I've been able to like share this testimony over
and over, which can be really disconcerting for people because you're, like,
you're talking about all this crazy, dark stuff and you

(01:50:16):
do it with a smile on your face. It's super weird.
But that's the gift, you know, that's the gift that
God gave me. And at the end of that weekend,
the little old man that had been sitting up front
in front of that baptismal pool actually came up to
me and he said, Kelsey, I need to tell you something.
And he said, listen, I've been a Church of England

(01:50:39):
pastor my entire life and he's like, I never believed
in demons, he goes, I believed in angels because I've
seen them, but I never believed in demons, he goes,
until I watched them flee from you, until I saw
them come out of you when you came up out
of that water.

Speaker 2 (01:50:58):
Yeah, it's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:50:59):
I was pulling up his peace the scripture that hit
me when you were telling that story, and I thought
of it too when I was reading the book. And
this is actually Christ in Matthew twelve, and I just
want to read this. It's versus forty three, forty four,
forty five, So Matthew twelve, forty three through forty five.
When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it
goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it.

(01:51:19):
Then it says, I will return to the house I left.
When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied. Now that's important, unoccupied,
swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and
takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself,
and they go in and live there. And the final
condition of that person is worse than the first. That
is how it will be with this wicked generation, which
is exactly where we are. But the key there is

(01:51:41):
unoccupied because you had occupied the house that had been
swept clean. You occupied it with Christ, and you occupied
it with the Holy Spirit.

Speaker 1 (01:51:49):
And I think that's really what's really unique. What I've
been told even a lot, is that it's very unique
because most people get water baptized and then they're filled
with the Holy Spirit. You know, where I got filled
with the Holy spirit before any of that even happened,
and so you know, God was just so good like that,
and so I was just immediately just filled back up.

(01:52:11):
So I go back to London. You know, I took
an extra day because I just I was in my
bliss bubble, like I did not want to leave, and
so I took an extra day and I went and
traveled around like Oxford University, I mean England. Just if
you've never been to England, go to England. It's absolutely
just stunning, the architecture, all of that. I love it

(01:52:31):
so much, just rich history. So I was doing my thing.
I loved travel, love adventure. I've traveled my whole life
all over the world and didn't even get into any
of that, but in the book you can. And so
I'm back at the apartment now and I finally could
recognize really what I kind of knew was there, but

(01:52:54):
now I could discern it like so great, Like this
is demonic, this is dark, like yeah, you know, it's
no longer in me and I can't be here. So
I'm there though, And on the third day, I wake
up in the morning and my partner's just like and
he's thinking, like you've been baptized, delivered like we can

(01:53:16):
get married now because now you're perfect, you know you're perfect.
And I'm just like, are you kidding me? You are, like,
on my way to leave the con to go to
the conference, he's literally chasing me down the hall all
the way to the car, trying to attack me, and
so I'm like, are you nuts? Like we no, I'm
done with this. So but I didn't know how to leave.

(01:53:38):
So on that third morning, he's streaming scripture, screaming in
tongues like all this demonic, just vile filth, just coming
at me from the other room. And I thought to myself,
I will never ever ever put up with this ever
again the rest of my life. And that was that,
Like I just knew it, and I heard the voice
of God and he said, he said pack your bags

(01:54:00):
and put them in the car. And he just repeated that,
pack your bags and put them in the car. You know,
I saw how God had arranged at all. Like it
was Thursday. He always goes to the bank in central
London on Thursday, so he was going to be gone
for three hours. At this was six am. I knew
I had time, So sure enough he leaves, I go

(01:54:21):
I pack my bags. I'm having this whole experience. I'm
like so happy, and I'm also terrified. I'm in shock.
And I get down to the car and then now
I'm like and now what, Like that's the only instruction
you gave me, is like pack your back and put
them in the car. Where am I going? I hardly
have money, I don't have friends, I don't know where

(01:54:42):
to go. And right in that moment, this old friend
from back in Indiana, she actually called me literally in
that moment that I'm standing by the car and I
have no recollection. There's not even like a history that
she had reached or I had reached out to her
the night before, and I guess I had sent her
this message because she used to live in London, and

(01:55:04):
I said, look, I'm in this situation. I need to
get out of this. You know, do you know anybody
can you help me out? I mean, there's no I
don't remember doing that like at all, and there's no
record of it. And so I'm like that was holy spirit.
And so she's like, we've got to get you out
of there instantly. That's all she says. We've got to
get you out of there. I'm gonna put you up
in an Airbnb for a couple of weeks. This is what

(01:55:25):
we're gonna do. And she just walks me through it.
She prays for me. You know. I had even had
somebody before that reach out to me from Indiana who
had heard about my situation and offered to fly me
back to the States. I couldn't even take that, like
I was not ready until this moment, and so I left.
I went out with staying by you know, London Heathrow Airport,

(01:55:48):
and the devil was hot on my trail though, like
he wasn't just gonna leave me alone. Like it didn't
just end. Like I ended up in like seven airbnbs
and ten or eleven days and just something. All these
things kept going wrong, and at the same time, it
was like the greatest time of my life because I
was free. And so I started going to this church

(01:56:09):
that i'd gotten connected with at the Baptism, the women's
ministry leader, you know, I had met her there, so
I was calling her in contact and they ended up
discipling me over the next month and helping me, really helping,
you know, buy me food and groceries and like you know,
doing genius to call the police. Like they were very
helpful and over the next year they actually even once

(01:56:32):
I came back to the States, they continued to disciple
me very closely. And that's where I got really built
up in the spirit. These people are, I mean most
of them are from West Africa as well, like Ghana
and Nigeria, and so they those were my people. Like
I really got built up with an African spirit. I
say often, I have an African holy spirit. And so

(01:56:56):
I after that month, then the Lord said, you need
to go back and make things right with your daughter.
So so that's what I did. I again that woman.
She ended up another woman who heard my story. She
paid for my ticket back to the States, and I
got here and I lived in a hotel for two months.
I had nowhere to go. I had no you know,
my family wanted nothing to do with me. I had

(01:57:19):
no friends anymore because they were all from my past.
But I started seeing my daughter and a month later
she went to church with me on Mother's Day and
gave her life to the Lord. She ended up going
a little wayward after that, but then she she came
back and she recently got she got baptized for the
second time Water baptized because she wanted to rededicate her
life to the Lord already. So it was it was

(01:57:43):
really beautiful. But it was during that time and that
those two months in the hotel is when the Lord
gave me two words. First he said, I had to
write another book to redeem the first one, and it
would be called Mary Magdalen in the Mirror. And he
gave me that whole book. And then the second thing,
he said, you will be minis during two strippers, prostitutes
and women who have been sex trafficked. And I thought

(01:58:05):
that was going to be years down the line. No,
it was about six months later. I end up at
a class. It was a sex trafficking one oh one
class that I had just seen online because I was like, well,
the Lord gave me that word, I want to go
what's sex trafficking? Right? I want to learn about this?
And so I went to the class and there I
met a woman who was leading the class who had

(01:58:26):
a strip club ministry, and so she I started crying again.
Clearly I'm a very emotional person, and I'm like, Lords
told me I'm supposed to do that. I'm going to
be ministering to strippers. So I started going into the
clubs with her, and then I was feeling like there
was just more, and so I went down and got
additional strip club training down in Florida, came back, and

(01:58:49):
so about a year it was like a year after
I got saved, I know, maybe it was a year
eighteen months or so. I then started and founded Morning
Glory Minute Streets also known as Morning Glory Global, and
started going to strip clubs and brothels, massage parlors, the streets,
just doing every type of evangelism you can imagine. We

(01:59:12):
just launched a I'll pause here in a minute, but
we just launched a new outreach this past weekend, which
you'll hear about later on, but for women in the
digital space. So that's, you know, that's really in my
heart because that's where I was for so long, prostituting
myself in the digital space. So we're reaching out to
those women and it was super successful, so very quickly,

(01:59:36):
the Lord just went here you go, and he just
pushed me out, you know, he just pushed me out
into it. And that's where I've been ever since, just
walking with him and on fire for God.

Speaker 3 (01:59:47):
That's amazing. We were talking before we hit record. But
your experience has been the same as mine. Where God
seems to be all breaker, all gas pedal. You experienced
the gas pedal pretty fast, isn't it. When he puts
it on your heart, he's like, well, what are you
waiting for?

Speaker 2 (02:00:04):
It?

Speaker 1 (02:00:05):
Go? Well, He's like, like, you know, you've done all
this stuff for the devil. You you've done all these
things for him. And so if you think that like
God's not then going to ask you to do things
for him. Like that's how I look at it. Like,
you know, when you've been through all of that, there's
there's a high calling on your life, a very high calling,

(02:00:25):
and we have the choice. We have the choice whether
to say yes or no. But you know, when he
is like, freed you from as much stuff as he
set me from, I mean, there's just no way again.
Mary Magdalene like reflection, right, she when he set her
free from those demons, like she was the most devoted.

(02:00:46):
I mean, he used Mary Magdalene, he chose her to
proclaim the good news of the resurrection, and so she
was just wholly devoted. And so that's just how it was.
It just was for me, I mean it was such
a ratic difference that I'm like, I will do anything
for you.

Speaker 2 (02:01:03):
Yep. Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (02:01:05):
You've got a section in the book that I wrote
down too. That's just a quick little couple paragraphs. Could
I read it? It's called It's titled Intimacy with Abba.

Speaker 2 (02:01:13):
So here you go.

Speaker 3 (02:01:15):
I came to love the moments of being broken open
for Jesus, the moments of crying Abba and laying at
his feet. I'm nothing without him, powerless and can do
nothing outside of him. I appreciate it when he reminds
me of his track record, not mine. The pages I
fill with his mercies and miracles are limitless. Thank God,

(02:01:37):
I finally have a constant in my life, the only
one who will never disappoint me, the only one I
give my all to.

Speaker 2 (02:01:47):
Abba.

Speaker 3 (02:01:47):
I am your child. You chose a wretch like me
and gave me a place in your royal kingdom. You
bring me to my knees, weeping at your feet in awe,
desiring nothing but to know you more. Thank you for
weeding out the roots, for molding and shaping me. For

(02:02:08):
such a time as this, I have risen. I am yours.
So there you go, And again I would to highly
recommend this book. It's fantastic Mary Magdalen in the Mirror
and I'm going to read the full title here, Freedom
from Demonic Oppression. So, Kelsey, it's been awesome talking to you.

Speaker 1 (02:02:27):
Yes, you as well, Thank you so much, such an honor.

Speaker 3 (02:02:30):
We're going to move over to our section now that
is members only so we can actually have that time.
And if you want to help support me and help
support the show, please consider becoming a member of the
show so you could be a part of that. So,
if you guys have enjoyed this, check out the conversation
that I had with my friend timber Cleghorn from the
TV show Alone. He's got another amazing faith story. Thank

(02:02:51):
you guys very much. Stay Frosty,

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Darkness To Deliverance | Overcoming Trauma, Addiction, and the Occult

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