August 9, 2025 • 44 mins
Father John Vianney was a priest, he became a saint in 1925. He is the parton saint of Priests. He was known for his no nonsense approach combined with extreme compassion. Through his sufferings he was able to kick the devils butt.
Steph gave her conversion story, Jeff...well,,,he proibably said something intresting.
Jeff & Steph will be releasing two podcasts a week for now, talking from a Catholic perspective about history and mystism in the Holy Bible.
You can watch and listen to Stephanie on her YouTube channel - In the Service of the Queen - where she talks about the blessed Mary https://www.youtube.com/@InTheServiceOfTheQueen
You can catch Jeff on numorous podcasts https://coolcasts.cooolmedia.com/
Please follow These Times on whoever you listen on, so that you don't miss an episode.
Steph gave her conversion story, Jeff...well,,,he proibably said something intresting.
Jeff & Steph will be releasing two podcasts a week for now, talking from a Catholic perspective about history and mystism in the Holy Bible.
You can watch and listen to Stephanie on her YouTube channel - In the Service of the Queen - where she talks about the blessed Mary https://www.youtube.com/@InTheServiceOfTheQueen
You can catch Jeff on numorous podcasts https://coolcasts.cooolmedia.com/
Please follow These Times on whoever you listen on, so that you don't miss an episode.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hi, and welcome to these days. I am Jeff, and
we'm here with Steph. Today we'll be coming from a
Catholic perspective talking about history and mysticism. Steph, are things
out there in Nashville?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Well, hey, Jeff, it's a really important day here in Nashville.
We are actually doing our priestly ordinations today. And you
didn't know that, which is kind of cool that you
had said, you know, the last time, let's talk about
John Vianni, who is the patron saying of all priests,
and so today in Nashville, right now as we speak,
(00:44):
it started at ten thirty and it is ten thirty
nine here in Nashville as we talk, they are beginning
their priestly ordinations. I have one really good friend when
I worked at the cathedral, Joseph Go shout out to him.
He was a seminarian that helped us out several summers,
and really sweet priest from Vietnam. We would go around
(01:05):
searching for good Vietnamese food in Nashville, and that's actually
has quite a bit of Vietnamese food is kind of
popular here. But then he spent all night, He stayed
up all night cooking us a traditional Vietnamese dinner his
last day. He's just the sweetest guy, and so he's
becoming a priest to day. Really excited for him.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That's really cool. I think the reason that I got
the name Vianni actually, and it's kind of like along
those lines. You know, we're a small church out here.
It's not like the big cathedrals or anything. It's a
small church. Well, one of the girls from out here,
well she's a young woman now she's actually in Omaha, Nebraska.
She is saying her vows is and none today and
she took the name or her name was Maria Maria Vianni.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Oh awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
So I think that's I think that's why John got
into my head.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
That's cool. Well, like we said, the Holy Spirit's going
to lead this, and he's definitely doing that. And we're
having priestly word nations here in Nashville. And how how's
the weather in Buyers, Colorado today?
Speaker 1 (02:00):
You know it's really nice. Now, we had a really
hot couple of days. I mean, we don't never get
out above one hundred and it's been one hundred and four,
one hundred and five hundred and three, and so today
we're going to be eighty eight, So that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
That is nice. Yeah, we've been having a heat wive
here and we're all grateful if it's under ninety for sure.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yeah, and luckily we have the dry heat, we don't
have the humidities.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
It's always nice.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Oh, I know. Yeah, y'all, y'all are lucky. Y'all are lucky. Well, yeah,
so I was, I was doing a little research on
John Vianni last night, and there's definitely some very very
significant and just amazing mystical things that he encountered. What
stands out about.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Him to you, Well, let's just let everybody's i mean
not most of the Catholics at least they've heard of
John Vianni. He's the patron saint of Price, right, that's
why we're talking about him today, right, And just a
little background. He grew up over in France, and it
was during the French Revolution over there, and they had
outlawed Catholicism pretty much all religions pretty much, but they
(03:04):
outlawed Catholicism. So he but the priest, you know, they
would still do it in secret and you know, just
trying not to get caught. Well, here was like a
little thirteen year old boy. He just thought those priests
were like Superman. He thought they were so cool that
they were defying everything, and he thought, well, that is
really neat. And then he got two nuns. Actually they
obviously were kicked out of their homes and all that
(03:27):
kind of stuff, so they were actually underground too. Well,
they secretly, you know, gave him his lessons so he
could take his first communion. Then when he's fourteen, they
secretly got him to he could be get his confirmation.
Then after that he thought, well, I want to be
a priest. I'm going to be a priest and all
this kind of stuff. So after the revolution took got over,
then they said, okay, now you can go back and
(03:48):
do Catholicism again that was not legal, so he was
actually sent to it's called the primary seminary where he
was actually basically just taught this basics history, geography, Latin
and all that kind of stuff. Well, they kind of
moved him on, they didn't think so because they thought
he might be a little slow in the head. So
then they moved him on to a secondary seminary and
(04:09):
he was basically learning all the same stuff, but he
was really slow and that people thought, you know, man,
this guy, he just doesn't have it. And what they
didn't know is during the French Revolution, he never went
to school. So all these kids who were in there
to be priests, you know, they'd all been going to
school and he hadn't. So that's why he couldn't get
Latin or anything like that. Well, he was gonna finally,
(04:29):
he was just so pious. You know, some people just
emanate it, you know, they could. So some of the
people they said, don't, don't kick him out, you know,
let's just keep him, you know, and all this kind
of stuff, you know, let him go. So he went ahead,
and he was getting ready to become a priest. Well,
he got drafted into Napoleon's army. So and normally being
(04:50):
a man of Napoleon was bad, but he still had,
you know a little bit of respect for like priests
and that kind of thing, and normally there would be
a waiver if you were going to be a priest. Well,
Napoleon started getting his butt kicked, so he wanted everybody
to join his army. So Vianni got drafted. Well he
was like okay, so he actually showed up. He was
on his way to go serve and two days before
(05:13):
he was supposed to be report and on his journey
he got really sick and ended up in the hospital.
So the rest of the troops went ahead and they said, okay,
will you catch up with us. Well, after he got
out of the hospital, he went to the church to pray,
and he came out of the the church and this
guy came up to him and he said, hey, you
don't really want to do this, do you, And he
said no. He said, well come with me, and he
took him into the mountains out there in France, really isolated,
(05:34):
and it's basically it was all deserters from the Napoleon's
army and who were hiding out there. And in the
winter it was so remote that the fringe army wouldn't
look for deserters out there.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
So he was out there.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
He started a little school out there, and then the
weather got warm, of course, so then all of a
sudden the soldier started. So whenever somebody said the soldiers
are coming, well they he would be buried underneath the
bail of hay, you know. So then finally after nineteen
months of that, Napoleon went ahead and just pardoned the
month said okay, if you're a deserter in my army,
you don't have to. So then he went back and
(06:07):
finished up his studies and all that kind of stuff.
They still didn't think he was very smart. So what
they did is they said, okay, so they put him
in this really tiny chearch. The town had like two
hundred and thirty people. So John got out there and
he kind of started thinking, you know, because of the
French Revolution that basically there was no any kind of
religious discipline. These people they would work on Sundays, they
(06:28):
if they weren't working, they'd be in the tavern drinking
and booze and all that kind of stuff. So he
started actually railing against him, saying, hey, you know, if
you're not coming, I'm not going to give you a solution.
Well that got their attention, so they started coming and
then worried about this priest in this little town who
was really stern, but he was the most compassionate human
being they'd ever met. It spread so finally John he
(06:48):
ended up attracting crowds from all over. Twenty thousand people
a year would come to hear and Masley confession. They
said he had been sixteen to eighteen hours a day
in confession with people. Let's leave the one really cool story.
One day he was in there giving confession and there
was this long, long crowd, I mean it, and this
woman she came up her husband and committed suicide. So
she was really kind of worried about it. So she
(07:11):
was like, well, I'm gonna go talk to this great
priest and everything like that. And finally she realized, man,
I'm never gonna get to him. I can't even get
close to this crowd, and so she was kind of
bummed out. So she said, all right, so she turned
around and started to leave, and she started to leave,
all of a sudden, Behanni. He came out of where
he was doing confessions over the crowd. He scrounded. He
made it, You're okay, And she couldn't believe it because
(07:33):
there was a thousand people between him and her, and
everybody's goind of looking around. Who's he talking to? And
she kind of looked at and pointed, like, are you
talking to me? And he said so really slow, he said,
he made it. He is in purgatory. You must pray
for him.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Now.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Between jumping off the bridge from that paraphlet to the water,
he had time to make an act of contrition and
everybody was looking at her and looking at him, and
so yeah, definitely, you know that way, he's a saint.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
That is an incredible story and just the power. I
want to say something I had, So, you know, I
watched a little video of a priest that admires him
last night and put on when he became a priest.
I think it's interesting that he grew up in the
French Revolution because I feel like we're coming into those times.
I keep hearing God say in my head it was
the best of times, it was the worst of times,
(08:19):
you know. And that's Charles Dickens's book about the French Revolution.
But I feel like that those are the times we're in.
So it's really cool that we're talking about him. And
when he first became a priest, he said this prayer,
and this is what struck me last night, and I
couldn't get it out of my head. He said, Lord,
grant me the conversion of my parish, and I'm willing
(08:40):
to suffer whatever you wish for the entirety of my life.
Now that's a big prayer, you know.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
And he did live it.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
He did, He did live it. They say Satan would
torment him at night. He didn't sleep more than a
couple hours a night because Satan would pick up his bed,
twirl it around, throw it up into the ceiling. He
had torments from Satan his whole life. He got to
the point where he's like, well, I might as well
not even try to sleep, and he ate pretty much.
He ate one potato a day. He barely ate. He
(09:08):
just spent most of his time in prayer. But that's suffering.
I mean, that's something that Catholics kind of know. The
Catholic Church does teach the value of suffering, that God
uses that grace or the conversion of others. It's not
something Protestants understand at all. It's something that I've lived.
For sure. I've been given a lot of grace, but
(09:29):
I actually have suffered quite a lot. So that just
really struck me that he would pray that prayer. Oh
and then it was also known that Satan had actually
encountered him at one point and said, if there were
three priests like you, if there were only three priests
like you, my kingdom would be done.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
I believe it.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
And you know what we talk about in suffering, and
all that kind of stuff and everything. Oh the thinking,
they don't people who suffer for God, they don't want
to do it. Janni, he actually ran away with these
thousands of people here to see him. He ran away
four times. In all four times he ended up coming back.
And after the fourth time, I'm assuming there must have
been a chat between him and Jesus or God or
something out there. So it finally came back and just said,
(10:09):
you know what, I'm there, this is my lot in life.
I'm just gonna say. All he wanted to do is
be a monk. That's all he really wanted to do.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
He didn't want to do it with people, right, but
he just had such a grace of conversion on him,
the ability to convert people. And Yeah, I think I
think there's such power in our suffering. And I don't
know what if if I want to encourage, I want
to challenge priests, any priests listening to this. I mean,
this is these times. That's why you and I started
(10:35):
this podcast, that these times we truly need. If we
if we had if the if the devil was speaking
the truth and there were three priests like that, I mean,
the times for mediocre priest and luke warmness is over.
That's done. So I mean, I challenge any priest to
be to be a padre po, to be a John
Bonni and to say that prayer grant me the conversion
(10:57):
of my parish, and I'll suffer whatever you want for
my entirety of my life. And Jesus loves us. He's
not going to just bring more than we can handle
on us, right, Like, yeah, we'll have to suffer, but
there's also joy. There's also all the saints suffered and
that they also reported there was joy in their suffering.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Correct, And a lot of people I don't think realize too.
They want the priest to pray for them. But you
need to pray for your local priest too, you know, right,
show them your support and give them.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
A little help too, right, because they are the most attacked.
They are very attacked by the enemy. And you know,
my priest friend says priests are the most attacked and
their mothers, interestingly, are the second most attacked. And I
would say married couples are right up there with a
marriage's marriage is so attacked these days, because well so
that leads me to my level. So I read that
(11:45):
last night, or I heard that he had he'd said
that prayer. I woke up at five o'clock this morning.
In marriage reconciliation has been a big thing in my
life for the past three years. I don't mind sharing that.
And at five o'clock this morning, it just hit me.
And I guess, you know, I've always known, like, Okay,
I'll suffer for you God, like whatever you want, I've
given my life to you. If you're baptized, that that
(12:07):
should be your prayer. But I guess it's just like
that journey from the head to the heart. So I
don't know if it was the Holy Spirit or Jesus
himself or Saint John Beyonni. But at five o'clock in
the morning, I had it just come on to me
so strong, and I said that prayer. I said, God,
grant me the conversion and the reconciliation of my marriage,
(12:27):
and I am willing to suffer whatever you wish for
me for the entirety of my life. And I meant it.
I met it with all my heart and soul. I
know my vocation, and I felt free. I think, I
think when we're afraid to suffer, that's how Satan keeps
like a noose around our neck, Like our whole society
runs around trying to avoid suffering. Like take this pill
if you have a headache, take a tile on all immediately.
(12:49):
Like if you're a sad eat some ice cream, or
go to porn or go to alcohol or hook up
with someone. You know, we just we constantly are trying
to avoid suffering. And that's really how we stay in bond.
And like, at five o'clock in the morning, I felt
so free, I felt like so happy, so free. It's
I don't know, it's like running like that, running running
(13:09):
away from a fear of your whole life. And then
finally you face it and you're like, no, God, I'm
willing to suffer whatever you want to fulfill my vocation
that you're calling me too. I know you're calling me
to this. And then all of fear left me, and
even the broken the broken heartedness that I've been carrying
around left me, and I just had a joy when
I woke up this morning.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Well it almost kind of had a little mini rebirth
there today. Then that's really cool.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Yeah, yeah, And I'm not scared, like whatever God brings
on me, you know, I'm not willing to suffer for
what mankind brings on me. But whatever God deems necessary,
that's fine. And I know I trust him, you know,
I trust him. He's not going to give me you
know what the Bible says, I have. I have plans
for your good, not for your harm. So I mean
he has good plans for us. We need to trust him.
(13:53):
He loves us.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Well, that's the hardest part is people letting go and
just trusting, because if you trusted him, you're not going
to be scared going to go away right.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Off the That exactly exactly, and it did. And I
think I think we hold on to like I'd given him.
I had surrendered certain parts of my life, but it's
like there are certain parts like, uh, I don't know,
I don't really trust you. I'm not gonna let go
of this little part right here, and I don't know
today I'll let go of all of it. And he's
put me through a job season where I kind of
lost everything, so it's like not like I have really
(14:22):
anything to hold on to anyway. So yeah, God take
it all. I'm willing to I'm willing to suffer whatever
you want from me for the to fulfill my vocation.
And just think of that. Like, just like Satan said
to him, if there were only three priests, my kingdom
would be like you, my kingdom would be done if
every married couple would pray this prayer. Lord, you know,
(14:43):
grant me the restoration or the salvation of my marriage
and my spouse, the conversion of my spouse, the salvation
my spouse. That's what marriage is. Anyway, We're here to
get our spouses to heaven, and I'm willing to suffer
whatever you wish for the entirety of my life. Then
every marriage would be restored, every marriage would be glorified,
the family would be replenished. Satan would have no stronghold.
(15:03):
I mean like literally the world would be transformed. I
would say in a matter of months if people actually
would pray that wholeheartedly, and our priests would pray that.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
And that's the way you said. You said it wholeheartedly
with all your heart. And that's I think a lot,
Like I'm including myself a lot of this. We'll say
a prayer, but it's just kind of like it's almost
like a Santa Claus list. You know, Hey, God, you
know you don't It's almost kind of like a wish
list or something God, can you get me out of this?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
You know?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Or rightiz, Hey God, I could really use help finding
a parking spot.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
You know.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
It's like, yeah, you're not really throwing it out there,
but when you really mean it from your heart and
he definitely.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Listens, then definitely And that's love. And I and this
is what struck me too, because if we're only going
to God when we want something, you know, why aren't
we going to God saying what do you what do
you want? It's so rare for us to go to
him and go okay, And I'm always asking you for
what I want? God, what do you want? And you know,
love is not selfish. Look at first things is it
(16:01):
is not boast it is kind, it is patient, it
is it's always giving, keeps no record of wrongs, and
it's not proud. It's not boastful. And like if you're
if you're not really willing to suffer for God, then
then do you really love him? And and for your
spouse in marriage too the same like, if you're not
willing to suffer and sacrifice for your spouse, then it's
(16:21):
not really love. I'm going to challenge people. I'll be
bold and say it's not really love. You might be
in it for lust or an ego boost or comfort
or security, but if you're not willing to sacrifice and suffer,
that that's not love.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Well, people really don't take those vows the way seriously
as you know they did in the old days. I
mean they just yeah, okay, we're going to have a
party afterwards. You know, I got to say this, and
that the vows are I don't know, I think they're
kind of numbed people where people don't. I don't think
people realize what a vow is anymore. They don't realize it.
I mean you look at our politicians. They take vows
and they break those with you know, right just throughout society.
(16:56):
I don't think people realize what it is when you
make a vow.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Of something exactly, and as are these seminarians are making
their vowels right now. It's cool we're talking about this
and it's a covenant, right, It's not just a vowel,
it's a covenant. And in the old days. You know,
my deliverance coach is pretty cool. He's very, very studied
and used to be a Protestant minister and had had
a Saint Pollock's conversion and became Catholic and put everything
(17:20):
on the altar. His whole family and their money and
everything became Catholic. But he had talked about like in
a covenant. People in the in biblical times understood very well,
this is forever. This is serious, because they would they
would like slice open whatever animal and they would walk
around in a figure eight in the blood. Their feet
would get bloody. They would make a figure eight and
(17:41):
they would walk with God. So you know, it's like
the blood the Lord, and you're walking in this circle,
this figure eight circle that has no breaks in it,
and you're very well aware. This is a covenant. This
is serious, This is forever. This is not a contract.
This is a covenant. And marriage is a covenant. And
when priests take bowels or nuns take beows people in
(18:05):
your religious life, that's a covenant.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
And you know what, probably maybe human nature. We've been
round enough where and lots of times. When I talk
about people, I'm talking about myself too, because I've done
it in the past and all that. You know, I
don't think people like the responsibility of covenant. You know,
that's one thing they know right, you know that's a heavy.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Man, right. Everybody wants to know, well, like, well, you know,
can I get out of this if I don't like it?
But again, that's dying. Again, that's not really following Christ.
You're not really dying to your flesh, right, You're you're
still putting your own desires and your own motives ahead
of And the thing about it is that's where the
devil tricks you. You think you're going to be happier
by pursuing your own will, and you're not. You're never happier,
(18:47):
like you only have peace and joy once you're like, okay, God,
your will be done, not mine, just like you know
the Lord's prayer that we pray every every day mass.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yeah, and it's it's just well part of it.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I think people aren't exercising their their in herself anymore
to try and actually, you know, actually seek out what
does God want from me? You know, they don't want
to ask those deep questions and all that kind of stuff.
And you know, God, what can you give me today?
You know I was good. I helped that door for
that old lady. So you know what's going to be
my reward for that?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Right? We just don't live live a self sacrificial god.
You're in control, do what you want with me kind
of life?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Do we well, since we're talking about conversions today, See,
I was a legacy. I was bored into Catholicism and
all that kind of suess. That's all I ever knew
growing up. You're a different story.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Though, Yeah, I am. I was in the New Age.
I was brought up. I think my Pentecostal grandmother probably
has a lot to do. I'm sure she prayed for me,
although she never told me she did, but my love
of birds, and I'm sure she prayed for me. She
was the only one really in my family living now
any kind of fates. But my mom's background was Greek Orthodox,
(19:58):
and my great grandparents were married about I never knew them.
Then my dad's parents on my father's side were Pentecostal,
so they probably prayed for me. I'm sure they did.
But yeah, I just I didn't grow up with I
grew up with parents that were like kind and good
hearted people, and my mom, you know, often talked about
the golden rule, treat people the way you want to
(20:19):
be treated, and they wouldn't you know, everybody would say
I had like just the best parents, because in the neighborhood,
everybody wanted to hang out at my house. And my
parents didn't get divorced, and my dad came home for
dinner every night, but they didn't really raise me or
into any kind of formation. And we had a Bible,
but nobody ever opened it and nobody ever read it.
(20:40):
And I don't know if I moved to Nashville to
pursue songwriting and got it, and you know, looking for
God was always important to me, ironically ironically growing up,
you know the little books your mom would keep and say,
you know, what do you want to be when you
grow up? Here's your first grade picture or second grade
picture or third grade You would say, what do you
want to be when you grow up? What's your favorite food?
(21:02):
Who's your best friend? And every year when she would
ask what do you want to be when you grow up?
I would say, I don't know if I've told you this?
Did I ever tell you this? I said a nun
or an actress, okay, which and my mom's response was
just like, of course, she was bewildered. She was just like,
but we're not even Catholic, Stephanie. I didn't know what
(21:25):
Catholic meant. I was just like, Okay, well I don't
know what that means, but I want to be a
nun or an actress. And I get it now. Like
to my mom, of course, that didn't make sense. Those
two don't even go together. We weren't even Catholic. But
I knew that I wanted to serve God and that
was the most important thing. And I think I knew
I wanted to do it through some kind of entertainment
or media. So now I get it. You know, I
(21:47):
did have years in acting. I've done plays, I've been
in a couple of movies, a couple of music videos.
But the spiritual path is the most important thing. And
if I can use media to make people think different
or to inspire then you know, or encouraged, and that's
I think that's really where my calling is.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
That's what it called you to the gap these church.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Well, it was a couple. There was a few experiences
I started experiencing and it's not it's it takes me
back to Fatima. You know, Archangel Michael was appearing to
the children at Fatima before Mary. So I started having SOMEX.
I was in the New Age and I started having
some experiences of Archangel Michael. There was one wintery drive
(22:28):
to Texas home for Christmas that was the roads were
really bad. All the interstates were shut down. I thought
we were going to run out of gas and be
stuck on the interstate that it was very icy, and
I was just asking Michael the whole time, please get
us their safe. I just kept I knew that he
was an I kind of knew about him from the
New Age, but of course they distored everything. The New
Age is so evil. Let me say that right off
(22:48):
the bat. It's completely ruled by Satan. But I was deceived,
and but I did know about Archangel Michael, so I
kept calling on him to get us there safely. And
once we got there, I saw him. That was my first,
really probably mystical experience. I just saw him in a
big flame of gold and purple and blue, like to say, okay,
I got you here. It was just a flash, and
I just saw it for a second and it was
(23:11):
just just a flash. And then I continued to kind
of feel his presence around me though, which led me
to a meditation CD I started doing and I did it.
It's like the Holy Spirit was on me. Every day
I'd come home from work, I'd go in my bedroom,
my shut the door, and I'd do this meditation CD
and I didn't really have any kind of major experience
for maybe a month, just got relaxed and you know,
(23:34):
and then about a month into it, I found myself
at the foot of the cross. And I wasn't asking
to see Jesus. I wasn't really pursuing Jesus. I was
just in the New Age, wanting to be one with source,
you know, they would say. But then I was like
at the foot of the cross and he was beaten
and bloody, and I could see every wound and his
eye was bolted out. I mean, I'm telling it was
(23:56):
graphic detail. I was so close. I was stricken with
grief and love at the same time. I've never felt
such an intense feeling of love and every morse and
grief because I knew, and I knew it was like
knowledge was given to me in that moment that my
sin contributed to putting him there. And I was just
like there were no words spoken, but I was just like,
I'm so sorry, and I was like in tears. I
(24:16):
was like, I don't want this to be happening to you,
and somehow, without words, he just had peace. He conveyed
to me peace and joy, and he just said, basically,
it's okay, it's okay, this is where I want to
be and I'm doing this for you. And it was
completely life altering. At that moment, I did feel he'd
go across my wrists. I didn't, you know, I was
(24:37):
in the vision, so I didn't look at it until
he also made me aware that there was this blue
fire in him. And then he made me aware that
there was this blue fire in everything that was alive,
the trees, the people. I guess it was the Holy Spirit.
I don't really know that he made me aware that
this blue fire was also in me and that it
was something that connected us all and it was love.
It was love. I just felt like it was love anyway,
(24:59):
so that was kind of it. Then I was back
in my room. I looked at my wrist and I
had a big red mark across my wrist, as if
a laser had It didn't hurt and it wasn't like bleeding,
but it was a big red mark across my wrist.
Let me know that that was a real experience to
this day, when I'm about to go through some kind
of pretty intense suffering, I'll get that red mark back
on my wrist. It comes back up, and I'm like,
(25:21):
oh boy, it's only recently occurred to me to start
asking Mary to intercede and to mitigate the suffering, and
that has seemed to work to where it's not so bad.
But anyway, that was my first experience, and God is
so patient because not to make this long drawn out, sorry,
So it was a couple of years later. Then I
went through a divorce, that marriage was annulled. I lost
(25:41):
both my parents probably within a year of having that
experience of Christ, which is probably why he came to
me at that time. So I lost both my parents
six weeks apart, went through a divorce, marriage, was an
old spent a year alone, and one dark night when
I really just didn't have any money, I didn't have
any family. I didn't know where I was going to turn,
and I just cried out to God and I was like,
(26:01):
please help me. I don't know what to do. I
don't know where to go, I don't know what to
do for a job. I was only working part time.
And then I was in a vision again, and with
the blessed Mother. I wasn't expecting Mary. I didn't ask
for Mary, but I was in a toy store and
it was dark in there, and she basically said she
was a stern mother. And a lot of people have
(26:23):
reported these kind of experiences. Said she wasn't all warm
and fuzzy, but she said, you know, God's not real
happy with you. I was still in the New Age
at that point. She said, God's not really happy with
you what you're doing right now, and you have learned
all you can learn from this toy. She said, it's
like you're a child thrown a temper tantrum because you
don't want to let go of your favorite toy, which
was the marriage at the time. And she said, but
(26:45):
it has shown you all it can show you. It
has nothing left to teach you, and you need to
put it back on the shelf. It was never God's
plan for you. So I had no guilt or like
it was really a gift for her to say that,
because I'm not someone who believes in giving up on marriage.
We said, it's a covenant. But she let me know this,
this was not God's plan for you, and she says,
your choice though, you can stay here and hold on
(27:06):
to this and you're never going to experience anything God
has in store for you, or you can take my
hand and walk with me. And she showed me like
the sunlight outside the door. She's like, God has all
these wonderful things planned for you, but you're you're gonna
have to follow me. You're gonna have to come with me.
And it was like that was the second conversion in
my heart. I was just like, I will follow you.
That was April twenty seventh, twenty twenty eleven, no, twenty twelve, sorry,
(27:30):
twenty twelve. I said, I will follow you. I will
go wherever you're leading me. I don't want to stay here.
And that was like a real conversion of heart. And
from that moment on, I didn't have anxiety. I was
having really bad anxiety before that. My anxiety laughed me
that night. I was able to sleep that night, So
shows you no discern things. That was fruit from that experience,
(27:52):
and you know, I started going. I bought a rosary.
I didn't know what to do with it. I just
hung it on my wall because I thought it was pretty.
It was years before I would ever learn to pray
it God is so patient. But you know, I'd ended
up writing a screenplay about her, a blog about her,
a song about her. I just loved Mary. And within
a year I hadn't met a guy that was raised
(28:14):
Catholic like you, and he had read my blog and
I remember him saying, are you Catholic? And I was
like no, it's like no, I would never be Catholic,
you know, the kind of thing. And I was like,
but I love Mary anyway. So we started dating and
within a year I was in Rcia. In April twenty thirteen,
I became Catholic. So you know, well, my story in
(28:38):
a nutshell.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Well, between back then and even lack last night, as
soon as you finally every time you've always given yourself up,
that's right, when you feel total peace.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
You're right, you're right. Thanks for pointing that out. I
didn't think of it that way. That's a really good point, Jeff. Yeah,
So when we totally give ourselves over to God, he
wants to bring us peace, He wants to bring us
love and joy and protect us.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Right, yeah, totally, And you know lots of time everything, Well,
when you hit rock bottom, that's when God helps you out.
I think if you paid attention on the way down,
you wouldn't have to go all the way to rock
bottom before he'd help you out.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Absolutely, because there were definitely red signs, I mean red
flags on the way down. I could look back at
a lot of red flags where God was saying, hey,
you know, I'm here if you don't want to go
all the way down this bad path, and I ignore,
you're right, ignored them till I hit rock bottom. It
just seems to be our human nature, right, We just
(29:34):
somehow God can't get through to us until we're completely broken.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Well, and I mean I mean it goes all the
way back from the from the beginning. I mean, like
the Apostles here they are walking with Jesus and they're
then they're arguing about which one's the best.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
You know that's true, and the Jesus right.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Or even like doubting Thomas, you know he's sitting there,
oh he rose, Oh yeah, right, you know right, or
you know pretty much all of them, you know they
saw all these things and that they still I mean,
I can't see how you could see a guy walk
on the lake and then ever doubt.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Again, I know you're right, but it still requires belief.
There was a priest just about a week a couple
of weeks ago when they did that. The reading of
the day was when Thomas, you know where Jesus said,
you know, blessed or those you have seen, so you believed,
But blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed.
And he said that scripture he had the best humbly
(30:29):
about that scripture I've ever heard. He said that scripture
always confused me because all these people had seen, like
you said, Jesus walk on water, He'll raise the dead,
heal the sick, you know, give sight to the blind.
And why did they have to have belief? He said,
I think we always still have to have belief, because
he said, if a pink elephant flew through the air
right now into this cathedral and passed us all by
(30:52):
and then blew out that window, even though we all
saw it, it's so out of the ordinary, we would
still have to have faith and believe to accept it, right,
or we would talk ourselves we blow when we were
just imagining it, or that didn't really happen. We would
talk ourselves out of it. I thought that was the
best analogy because, like I just shared a lot of
the things that have happened in my life. I could
(31:13):
talk myself out of all that didn't really happen, or
maybe I'm crazy. There's times some fault like am I crazy?
Like I've had these experiences, I'm like, am I crazy?
But no, it's thank God. God's given me the grace
of faith and belief.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
And one bort thing what you said there, like I
like that pink ellow it flying through the air thing.
A lot of times though, if you notice like that's
something that you'll see it that you won't actually tell
the person next to you that you saw it. You know,
it's kind of like right, and so you're able to
talk yourself out. And it's kind of like with God
when he does something good, people are like, no one's
(31:49):
going to believe me when I told him this, you know,
it's like, right, I prayed for God and then all
sud bam it happened.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
You know, they're not going to believe.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
That kind of exactly.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
But if you just share it and then well, yeah
I saw it too.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah exactly, And and God has graced me with so
many actually so many like you know, you and I
have shared some stories personally that we might not get
into today, but you and like some of the women
in my life that have had really amazing experiences like that,
that do experience God on a mystical or a supernatural level.
I mean, I think I think, you know, if you're
(32:23):
open to God, you're going to experience that at some
point because He wants to have that close of a
relationship with us.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Yeah, and it's kind of it's kind of weird to
help me will show it too that this is going
to be really selfish and really goofy. I mean, but
I think ever since I was a little kid, when
I would sit there and go to church and you
didn't pay attention to the priest or anything. You know,
you just were putting in your forty five minutes and
doing your Catholic talent stakes and then going.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
On right football or something.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
But I don't know if it was a sermon I
heard or something about the priest talking about angels. So
probably what forty five years later, you know, when the
priest is, you know, blessing the sacrament and all that
kind of stuff in you're on your knees. For some reason,
I still look at the altar and I searched the altar.
I'm looking for an angel because I want I want
(33:11):
to I want to be seeing and I want to
see an angel. You know, it's right, it's not like
I don't believe you, but I still just want to
see an.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Angel, yes, exactly. And from my experience, all I can
share is my own personal experience. The only times I've
had these mystical experiences have been when I've either been
very very broken, really crying out to God, I'm not
going to make it. You've got to help me. Or
they've been times when I've just been in a really
high stated gratitude and not expecting or asking to see anything,
(33:41):
when I'm just like, God, You're so awesome. I'm just
thank you so much for this, you know whatever. When
I'm just really thankful, or when i'm really broken, that
that tends to be when I've had the experiences.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
You know, I got this one little little trick, not
even a trick that was a bad word, but our
priests has been about a year now and just for everybody.
And when the priest told him said it during the Masth,
it's kind of like, okay, but then I went ahead
and tried it. He was talking about the Trinity and everything.
And he said, you know, throughout the day, just for
no reason, whatever you're doing, just do the Sign of
(34:13):
the Cross, Father Son, Holy Spirit, and just do it
as many times it can as you can during the day.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
You know, you don't even have to say a prayer.
Just do it.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
And I was like, okay, I don't. My mom was
sick and the same thing that you are. You know,
I didn't really have anything going on. So throughout the
day I would just okay, and I'd do the Sign
of the Cross, or if i'd get in the car
to go for a drive, right and sign the cross. Okay, God,
thank you for letting me go to the grocery store
and having the money whatever. And I'll tell you what,
over the last year, by doing the Sign of the Cross,
probably ten or twelve times a day, I think I
(34:41):
had gotten closer to God than I had in the
previous fifty seven years of my life.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
That's awesome. That shows what power that there is in that.
And you know, my priest friend that actually married my husband,
and if Father dan'stein or I love him, he told
a story that it's it's lad it's more like tradition.
I don't think it's actually documented anywhere, but apparently Saint Mark,
you know Mark, Matthew Mark, and then the Mark that
(35:08):
walked with Jesus. He had someone, you know, someone was
challenging the sign of the Cross, and he grabbed a
little girl from the from the crowd and he said,
there was like there was a demon and in the crowd,
and he said, make the sign of the cross. Because
he knew she was pure and she was just a child,
she was very pure. She made the sign of the
Cross and everybody was able to witness how the demons fled.
(35:30):
And he said, now that's why we make the sign
of the Cross, because when you make it from your
heart and with faith, that's how powerful it is.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yeah, and it kind of it just pulls you back
from your regular life to remind you that there is
something greater than you are, you know, and you're just
it's just kind of like, hey, father, it's the only spirit.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Okay, then you go by your dad. At least you're
pulling you back a little bit, pulling you back a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
And then like I said, over the last year, it's
pulling me back enough where I've actually been able to
get a lot more touch and feel a lot closer.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
I guess you could say, right, and then I'm so
sorry about your mom actually just passed. And also that
brings you closer to God when you're going through grief,
and you and I've talked a little bit about grief
and grief is such a purifying process. It's a painful process,
but it's such a purifying process if you can draw
closer to God through it. And I'm just, yeah, I'm
(36:18):
really sorry you've had to go.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Through that, but thank you.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Well, that's one thing about I think that since we're
talking about priest going through my mom's funeral and all
that kind of stuff, and the priests and the deacons
and they were the church was awesome. You know, they
were just so great through the whole thing, you know,
of you know, father death, my mom took a turn.
You know, he had given her an annoytment for the
sick like a couple of months before, and I go,
what do we do for They were just out here
(36:43):
and they said he might not make it through the night,
So what do we do about last rites? He said, okay,
I'll be over in about ten minutes, you know, And
then at the mass, tiny church will we have three deacons. Well,
so at her funeral, all three deacons are there along
with mass and all that kind of stuff and h
But the priests and the deacons and all that kind
(37:05):
of stuff, I think they get it. I think because
you think about it. When somebody dies and we are
so crushed, we should be happy. I mean, they are
going home, they're going to heaven, They're going to go
see Jesus and God and all that kind of stuff, right,
and this moment that should be like, well you made it,
you know, instead of like all.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Sadden right, right, we kind of I mean we're sad
for ourselves. We should be happy for them, and now
we have someone in heaven praying for us, right so,
or even if they're in purgatory praying for us. That's
very powerful. You know, I've read it. I've read the
I think you even read it. The manuscript unpublished manuscript
of Purgatory that Maria Simma you've heard of that. Yeah,
(37:45):
very powerful, a lot of information about purgatory. But Jesus said,
I'm closest to those in purgatory. I answered their prayers
first because they are suffering the most.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
That'll be We're going to have to talk about purgatory
on one of our shows. That's just we need a
whole that again to start getting into it, because then
we'll be we'll be way off of what we were gotten.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
So back to back to suffering. I mean, you just
can't say. I you know, I have suffered more since
I've become Catholic, but I've also had more miracles, more grace,
more joy, more favor. I feel God's favor on me.
I mean almost anything I ask for that's spiritual, you know,
Like I said, yeah, I want a new car. My
car is not doing great. I haven't gotten that. But
(38:29):
if I ask for like you know, strength or faith
or or I just feel lonely, that someone always shows
up at the door calls me at that moment, like
God does provide. You know.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
It's kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
I think I talked about a little bit earlier about
half hearted prayers and all that kind of stuff. It's
kind of funny like something that throughout your life feel
like God, please help me, you know, let my car
not break down. You know, I don't have anybody, you know,
please don't let me get out in the car, and
all that kind of stuff, and I think, involved me,
that's kind of burst.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
But then you'll do something.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
You'll be like, you'll be looking for a phone number
that you haven't seen it in like six months, and
it's like you have to have it, good man, Come on, God,
where's that phone number at? And then five seconds later
you move something, there's that phone number.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
It's like, right, all these little miracles, Yeah, all these
little miracles. So just if we if we can watch
for them, they're there. And I think the Bible says
it's impossible to please God without faith. I think the
more faith you have, the more he loves to just
shower those little things onto you.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
And I think it's easier for him.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
And then what I mean and that I think if
you have faith and you're looking for his help, it's
easier for him to give it. You don't have the faith.
He can give you the exact same thing, but if
you're not looking for it, you're not gonna accept it
and take it and run with it.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Right. He's like, well, I'm not gonna waste my tom And.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
He might not even be wasting. He might do it.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
You just don't see it, you know, kind of you say,
you know God, help me. I need a job, and
he says, okay, Well you go to say McDonald's and
you're sitting there and there's an old gentleman who's sitting
there having coffee or something in his big muffin, and
you could sit down, but now I'll just go eat
my car. Or if you had just satting down with him,
he could have gotten your job.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yeah, it's learning to listen to those little nudges. Yeah,
being open, I guess to.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
God that's the best one, just being open.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Just being open. Yeah, he can't get in if he's
you know, he's a gentleman. He's not going to push
the door open like Satan does. He's gonna wait till
you invite him.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
You know, that's exactly. And that what you said.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
I just throwd it not too long ago. Somebody written
it up. I don't remember it if you remember, right,
and all Jesus is preaching and all that kind of stuff.
He never chased anybody or went back after him. He
gave what his sad and then he was done. You know,
it's not like he you know, it's not like he
didn't give you a second chance. He just said this
is it and then there's that you can either follow
me or you can't. You care you're gonna follow me
(40:50):
or not. I'm not going to chase you around begging you.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Yeah, listen to me. Yeah. He wasn't going to beg anybody.
He wasn't gonna pound him over the head with it.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
You know, And when we talk about suffering and all
that kind of stuff, I kind of like try and
not equate myself with like people throughout history or anything
like that, but try and put myself into it, you know,
like you think suffering like Peter, you know, if I
was going to be killed, would I actually do the
most painfully and be crucified upside down?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
You know? It's kind of like, man, that's some faith
and then that kind of thing, Man, God, how can
I get that faith?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
You know?
Speaker 3 (41:28):
I really love to be able to. I just don't
know if I could do that.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
That's just like love. I think that's just like that
deep love, that reverence of will, willingness to when you
love someone that much and you realize how much they
love you and how much they've suffered for you. I
think it's natural just to be like, what can I do?
Like how much of myself. Can I give you to
pay you back? And I'll never pay you back for
what you've given me, but yeah, let me give you
(41:54):
all I.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Can and then okay, now so we've gotten y'all. We
love our priests. We loved Saint Vannie for blessing our priest,
and yeah, well I don't know how you can recruit him.
I mean, I know the Catholic churches died, but I
she'er liked for some young men who just feel the
calling but not being scared. I think, because that's such
(42:14):
a need to talk about answering a calling. Now, that's
the that's hard to get.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Well, I think there's a surge. I mean from everything
I'm hearing, there's a surge of very really holy young
men wanting to become priests. I think the priesthood is
on the uprise. Catholicism is on the upprise, which is awesome.
I think we're entering into times of tribulation but also
times of revival and like I said, the best of times,
the worst of times. But I'll end it with a
(42:42):
story my priest's friend told me, and it kind of
goes back to John Beyonni and wanting God's will, He said,
he he kind of felt like he was supposed to
be a priest, but he was engaged, had to plan
for his life, and was trying to go through all
this discernment trying to figure out what he wanted. What,
don't want to be a priest, don't want to get married?
Do you know all this? And he loved the ocean,
so he went to the ocean. He was sitting on
(43:03):
a rock in the middle of the ocean, still trying
to figure it out. He'd gone on mission trips even
he had even had the grace of like seeing Christ
in India in a guy when he was changing the bandage.
It was really gross, like the guy had gangreen and
changing his bandage and saw literally his face went away
and it became the face of Christ. So God was
already pouring like a lot of grace onto him, and
(43:26):
he's a very holy, awesome priest now. But anyway, he
was sitting on this rock trying to figure out what
he wanted to do, and he finally heard God say,
you know, you haven't once asked me what I want?
And that hit him. He's like, it hit me like
a ton of bricks, and he said, Okay, God, what
do you want? And he said, I want you to
become my priest, real clear, and he was like okay.
(43:46):
From that moment on, I said, did you ever look
back or regret it? And he's like, nope, never, never
have regretted it, just went full force into it.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
After that, Well, that is totally awesome.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, so we got to remember to ask God what
he wants.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
And that would actually save us a lot of trouble
if we.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Want, save us a lot of trouble. Yeah, and bring
us a lot of joy too.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Right, exactly right.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
I think.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Well, i'd like to tease the next show on what
we're going to talk about how you listeners, But we
can't because we just let we don't know. We're going
to let the Holy Spirit come talk to us and
that's what we're going to talk about next time.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Yeah, and hopefully enjoyed today. It was fun sharing with
you guys, and always great talking to you, Jeff.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
It was also all right, God, bless y'all. We'll talk
to you soon,
Hi, and welcome to these days. I am Jeff, and
we'm here with Steph. Today we'll be coming from a
Catholic perspective talking about history and mysticism. Steph, are things
out there in Nashville?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Well, hey, Jeff, it's a really important day here in Nashville.
We are actually doing our priestly ordinations today. And you
didn't know that, which is kind of cool that you
had said, you know, the last time, let's talk about
John Vianni, who is the patron saying of all priests,
and so today in Nashville, right now as we speak,
(00:44):
it started at ten thirty and it is ten thirty
nine here in Nashville as we talk, they are beginning
their priestly ordinations. I have one really good friend when
I worked at the cathedral, Joseph Go shout out to him.
He was a seminarian that helped us out several summers,
and really sweet priest from Vietnam. We would go around
(01:05):
searching for good Vietnamese food in Nashville, and that's actually
has quite a bit of Vietnamese food is kind of
popular here. But then he spent all night, He stayed
up all night cooking us a traditional Vietnamese dinner his
last day. He's just the sweetest guy, and so he's
becoming a priest to day. Really excited for him.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That's really cool. I think the reason that I got
the name Vianni actually, and it's kind of like along
those lines. You know, we're a small church out here.
It's not like the big cathedrals or anything. It's a
small church. Well, one of the girls from out here,
well she's a young woman now she's actually in Omaha, Nebraska.
She is saying her vows is and none today and
she took the name or her name was Maria Maria Vianni.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Oh awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
So I think that's I think that's why John got
into my head.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
That's cool. Well, like we said, the Holy Spirit's going
to lead this, and he's definitely doing that. And we're
having priestly word nations here in Nashville. And how how's
the weather in Buyers, Colorado today?
Speaker 1 (02:00):
You know it's really nice. Now, we had a really
hot couple of days. I mean, we don't never get
out above one hundred and it's been one hundred and four,
one hundred and five hundred and three, and so today
we're going to be eighty eight, So that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
That is nice. Yeah, we've been having a heat wive
here and we're all grateful if it's under ninety for sure.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yeah, and luckily we have the dry heat, we don't
have the humidities.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
It's always nice.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Oh, I know. Yeah, y'all, y'all are lucky. Y'all are lucky. Well, yeah,
so I was, I was doing a little research on
John Vianni last night, and there's definitely some very very
significant and just amazing mystical things that he encountered. What
stands out about.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Him to you, Well, let's just let everybody's i mean
not most of the Catholics at least they've heard of
John Vianni. He's the patron saint of Price, right, that's
why we're talking about him today, right, And just a
little background. He grew up over in France, and it
was during the French Revolution over there, and they had
outlawed Catholicism pretty much all religions pretty much, but they
(03:04):
outlawed Catholicism. So he but the priest, you know, they
would still do it in secret and you know, just
trying not to get caught. Well, here was like a
little thirteen year old boy. He just thought those priests
were like Superman. He thought they were so cool that
they were defying everything, and he thought, well, that is
really neat. And then he got two nuns. Actually they
obviously were kicked out of their homes and all that
(03:27):
kind of stuff, so they were actually underground too. Well,
they secretly, you know, gave him his lessons so he
could take his first communion. Then when he's fourteen, they
secretly got him to he could be get his confirmation.
Then after that he thought, well, I want to be
a priest. I'm going to be a priest and all
this kind of stuff. So after the revolution took got over,
then they said, okay, now you can go back and
(03:48):
do Catholicism again that was not legal, so he was
actually sent to it's called the primary seminary where he
was actually basically just taught this basics history, geography, Latin
and all that kind of stuff. Well, they kind of
moved him on, they didn't think so because they thought
he might be a little slow in the head. So
then they moved him on to a secondary seminary and
(04:09):
he was basically learning all the same stuff, but he
was really slow and that people thought, you know, man,
this guy, he just doesn't have it. And what they
didn't know is during the French Revolution, he never went
to school. So all these kids who were in there
to be priests, you know, they'd all been going to
school and he hadn't. So that's why he couldn't get
Latin or anything like that. Well, he was gonna finally,
(04:29):
he was just so pious. You know, some people just
emanate it, you know, they could. So some of the
people they said, don't, don't kick him out, you know,
let's just keep him, you know, and all this kind
of stuff, you know, let him go. So he went ahead,
and he was getting ready to become a priest. Well,
he got drafted into Napoleon's army. So and normally being
(04:50):
a man of Napoleon was bad, but he still had,
you know a little bit of respect for like priests
and that kind of thing, and normally there would be
a waiver if you were going to be a priest. Well,
Napoleon started getting his butt kicked, so he wanted everybody
to join his army. So Vianni got drafted. Well he
was like okay, so he actually showed up. He was
on his way to go serve and two days before
(05:13):
he was supposed to be report and on his journey
he got really sick and ended up in the hospital.
So the rest of the troops went ahead and they said, okay,
will you catch up with us. Well, after he got
out of the hospital, he went to the church to pray,
and he came out of the the church and this
guy came up to him and he said, hey, you
don't really want to do this, do you, And he
said no. He said, well come with me, and he
took him into the mountains out there in France, really isolated,
(05:34):
and it's basically it was all deserters from the Napoleon's
army and who were hiding out there. And in the
winter it was so remote that the fringe army wouldn't
look for deserters out there.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
So he was out there.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
He started a little school out there, and then the
weather got warm, of course, so then all of a
sudden the soldier started. So whenever somebody said the soldiers
are coming, well they he would be buried underneath the
bail of hay, you know. So then finally after nineteen
months of that, Napoleon went ahead and just pardoned the
month said okay, if you're a deserter in my army,
you don't have to. So then he went back and
(06:07):
finished up his studies and all that kind of stuff.
They still didn't think he was very smart. So what
they did is they said, okay, so they put him
in this really tiny chearch. The town had like two
hundred and thirty people. So John got out there and
he kind of started thinking, you know, because of the
French Revolution that basically there was no any kind of
religious discipline. These people they would work on Sundays, they
(06:28):
if they weren't working, they'd be in the tavern drinking
and booze and all that kind of stuff. So he
started actually railing against him, saying, hey, you know, if
you're not coming, I'm not going to give you a solution.
Well that got their attention, so they started coming and
then worried about this priest in this little town who
was really stern, but he was the most compassionate human
being they'd ever met. It spread so finally John he
(06:48):
ended up attracting crowds from all over. Twenty thousand people
a year would come to hear and Masley confession. They
said he had been sixteen to eighteen hours a day
in confession with people. Let's leave the one really cool story.
One day he was in there giving confession and there
was this long, long crowd, I mean it, and this
woman she came up her husband and committed suicide. So
she was really kind of worried about it. So she
(07:11):
was like, well, I'm gonna go talk to this great
priest and everything like that. And finally she realized, man,
I'm never gonna get to him. I can't even get
close to this crowd, and so she was kind of
bummed out. So she said, all right, so she turned
around and started to leave, and she started to leave,
all of a sudden, Behanni. He came out of where
he was doing confessions over the crowd. He scrounded. He
made it, You're okay, And she couldn't believe it because
(07:33):
there was a thousand people between him and her, and
everybody's goind of looking around. Who's he talking to? And
she kind of looked at and pointed, like, are you
talking to me? And he said so really slow, he said,
he made it. He is in purgatory. You must pray
for him.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Now.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Between jumping off the bridge from that paraphlet to the water,
he had time to make an act of contrition and
everybody was looking at her and looking at him, and
so yeah, definitely, you know that way, he's a saint.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
That is an incredible story and just the power. I
want to say something I had, So, you know, I
watched a little video of a priest that admires him
last night and put on when he became a priest.
I think it's interesting that he grew up in the
French Revolution because I feel like we're coming into those times.
I keep hearing God say in my head it was
the best of times, it was the worst of times,
(08:19):
you know. And that's Charles Dickens's book about the French Revolution.
But I feel like that those are the times we're in.
So it's really cool that we're talking about him. And
when he first became a priest, he said this prayer,
and this is what struck me last night, and I
couldn't get it out of my head. He said, Lord,
grant me the conversion of my parish, and I'm willing
(08:40):
to suffer whatever you wish for the entirety of my life.
Now that's a big prayer, you know.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
And he did live it.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
He did, He did live it. They say Satan would
torment him at night. He didn't sleep more than a
couple hours a night because Satan would pick up his bed,
twirl it around, throw it up into the ceiling. He
had torments from Satan his whole life. He got to
the point where he's like, well, I might as well
not even try to sleep, and he ate pretty much.
He ate one potato a day. He barely ate. He
(09:08):
just spent most of his time in prayer. But that's suffering.
I mean, that's something that Catholics kind of know. The
Catholic Church does teach the value of suffering, that God
uses that grace or the conversion of others. It's not
something Protestants understand at all. It's something that I've lived.
For sure. I've been given a lot of grace, but
(09:29):
I actually have suffered quite a lot. So that just
really struck me that he would pray that prayer. Oh
and then it was also known that Satan had actually
encountered him at one point and said, if there were
three priests like you, if there were only three priests
like you, my kingdom would be done.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
I believe it.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
And you know what we talk about in suffering, and
all that kind of stuff and everything. Oh the thinking,
they don't people who suffer for God, they don't want
to do it. Janni, he actually ran away with these
thousands of people here to see him. He ran away
four times. In all four times he ended up coming back.
And after the fourth time, I'm assuming there must have
been a chat between him and Jesus or God or
something out there. So it finally came back and just said,
(10:09):
you know what, I'm there, this is my lot in life.
I'm just gonna say. All he wanted to do is
be a monk. That's all he really wanted to do.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
He didn't want to do it with people, right, but
he just had such a grace of conversion on him,
the ability to convert people. And Yeah, I think I
think there's such power in our suffering. And I don't
know what if if I want to encourage, I want
to challenge priests, any priests listening to this. I mean,
this is these times. That's why you and I started
(10:35):
this podcast, that these times we truly need. If we
if we had if the if the devil was speaking
the truth and there were three priests like that, I mean,
the times for mediocre priest and luke warmness is over.
That's done. So I mean, I challenge any priest to
be to be a padre po, to be a John
Bonni and to say that prayer grant me the conversion
(10:57):
of my parish, and I'll suffer whatever you want for
my entirety of my life. And Jesus loves us. He's
not going to just bring more than we can handle
on us, right, Like, yeah, we'll have to suffer, but
there's also joy. There's also all the saints suffered and
that they also reported there was joy in their suffering.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Correct, And a lot of people I don't think realize too.
They want the priest to pray for them. But you
need to pray for your local priest too, you know, right,
show them your support and give them.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
A little help too, right, because they are the most attacked.
They are very attacked by the enemy. And you know,
my priest friend says priests are the most attacked and
their mothers, interestingly, are the second most attacked. And I
would say married couples are right up there with a
marriage's marriage is so attacked these days, because well so
that leads me to my level. So I read that
(11:45):
last night, or I heard that he had he'd said
that prayer. I woke up at five o'clock this morning.
In marriage reconciliation has been a big thing in my
life for the past three years. I don't mind sharing that.
And at five o'clock this morning, it just hit me.
And I guess, you know, I've always known, like, Okay,
I'll suffer for you God, like whatever you want, I've
given my life to you. If you're baptized, that that
(12:07):
should be your prayer. But I guess it's just like
that journey from the head to the heart. So I
don't know if it was the Holy Spirit or Jesus
himself or Saint John Beyonni. But at five o'clock in
the morning, I had it just come on to me
so strong, and I said that prayer. I said, God,
grant me the conversion and the reconciliation of my marriage,
(12:27):
and I am willing to suffer whatever you wish for
me for the entirety of my life. And I meant it.
I met it with all my heart and soul. I
know my vocation, and I felt free. I think, I
think when we're afraid to suffer, that's how Satan keeps
like a noose around our neck, Like our whole society
runs around trying to avoid suffering. Like take this pill
if you have a headache, take a tile on all immediately.
(12:49):
Like if you're a sad eat some ice cream, or
go to porn or go to alcohol or hook up
with someone. You know, we just we constantly are trying
to avoid suffering. And that's really how we stay in bond.
And like, at five o'clock in the morning, I felt
so free, I felt like so happy, so free. It's
I don't know, it's like running like that, running running
(13:09):
away from a fear of your whole life. And then
finally you face it and you're like, no, God, I'm
willing to suffer whatever you want to fulfill my vocation
that you're calling me too. I know you're calling me
to this. And then all of fear left me, and
even the broken the broken heartedness that I've been carrying
around left me, and I just had a joy when
I woke up this morning.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Well it almost kind of had a little mini rebirth
there today. Then that's really cool.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Yeah, yeah, And I'm not scared, like whatever God brings
on me, you know, I'm not willing to suffer for
what mankind brings on me. But whatever God deems necessary,
that's fine. And I know I trust him, you know,
I trust him. He's not going to give me you
know what the Bible says, I have. I have plans
for your good, not for your harm. So I mean
he has good plans for us. We need to trust him.
(13:53):
He loves us.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Well, that's the hardest part is people letting go and
just trusting, because if you trusted him, you're not going
to be scared going to go away right.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Off the That exactly exactly, and it did. And I
think I think we hold on to like I'd given him.
I had surrendered certain parts of my life, but it's
like there are certain parts like, uh, I don't know,
I don't really trust you. I'm not gonna let go
of this little part right here, and I don't know
today I'll let go of all of it. And he's
put me through a job season where I kind of
lost everything, so it's like not like I have really
(14:22):
anything to hold on to anyway. So yeah, God take
it all. I'm willing to I'm willing to suffer whatever
you want from me for the to fulfill my vocation.
And just think of that. Like, just like Satan said
to him, if there were only three priests, my kingdom
would be like you, my kingdom would be done if
every married couple would pray this prayer. Lord, you know,
(14:43):
grant me the restoration or the salvation of my marriage
and my spouse, the conversion of my spouse, the salvation
my spouse. That's what marriage is. Anyway, We're here to
get our spouses to heaven, and I'm willing to suffer
whatever you wish for the entirety of my life. Then
every marriage would be restored, every marriage would be glorified,
the family would be replenished. Satan would have no stronghold.
(15:03):
I mean like literally the world would be transformed. I
would say in a matter of months if people actually
would pray that wholeheartedly, and our priests would pray that.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
And that's the way you said. You said it wholeheartedly
with all your heart. And that's I think a lot,
Like I'm including myself a lot of this. We'll say
a prayer, but it's just kind of like it's almost
like a Santa Claus list. You know, Hey, God, you
know you don't It's almost kind of like a wish
list or something God, can you get me out of this?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
You know?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Or rightiz, Hey God, I could really use help finding
a parking spot.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
You know.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
It's like, yeah, you're not really throwing it out there,
but when you really mean it from your heart and
he definitely.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Listens, then definitely And that's love. And I and this
is what struck me too, because if we're only going
to God when we want something, you know, why aren't
we going to God saying what do you what do
you want? It's so rare for us to go to
him and go okay, And I'm always asking you for
what I want? God, what do you want? And you know,
love is not selfish. Look at first things is it
(16:01):
is not boast it is kind, it is patient, it
is it's always giving, keeps no record of wrongs, and
it's not proud. It's not boastful. And like if you're
if you're not really willing to suffer for God, then
then do you really love him? And and for your
spouse in marriage too the same like, if you're not
willing to suffer and sacrifice for your spouse, then it's
(16:21):
not really love. I'm going to challenge people. I'll be
bold and say it's not really love. You might be
in it for lust or an ego boost or comfort
or security, but if you're not willing to sacrifice and suffer,
that that's not love.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Well, people really don't take those vows the way seriously
as you know they did in the old days. I
mean they just yeah, okay, we're going to have a
party afterwards. You know, I got to say this, and
that the vows are I don't know, I think they're
kind of numbed people where people don't. I don't think
people realize what a vow is anymore. They don't realize it.
I mean you look at our politicians. They take vows
and they break those with you know, right just throughout society.
(16:56):
I don't think people realize what it is when you
make a vow.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Of something exactly, and as are these seminarians are making
their vowels right now. It's cool we're talking about this
and it's a covenant, right, It's not just a vowel,
it's a covenant. And in the old days. You know,
my deliverance coach is pretty cool. He's very, very studied
and used to be a Protestant minister and had had
a Saint Pollock's conversion and became Catholic and put everything
(17:20):
on the altar. His whole family and their money and
everything became Catholic. But he had talked about like in
a covenant. People in the in biblical times understood very well,
this is forever. This is serious, because they would they
would like slice open whatever animal and they would walk
around in a figure eight in the blood. Their feet
would get bloody. They would make a figure eight and
(17:41):
they would walk with God. So you know, it's like
the blood the Lord, and you're walking in this circle,
this figure eight circle that has no breaks in it,
and you're very well aware. This is a covenant. This
is serious, This is forever. This is not a contract.
This is a covenant. And marriage is a covenant. And
when priests take bowels or nuns take beows people in
(18:05):
your religious life, that's a covenant.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
And you know what, probably maybe human nature. We've been
round enough where and lots of times. When I talk
about people, I'm talking about myself too, because I've done
it in the past and all that. You know, I
don't think people like the responsibility of covenant. You know,
that's one thing they know right, you know that's a heavy.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Man, right. Everybody wants to know, well, like, well, you know,
can I get out of this if I don't like it?
But again, that's dying. Again, that's not really following Christ.
You're not really dying to your flesh, right, You're you're
still putting your own desires and your own motives ahead
of And the thing about it is that's where the
devil tricks you. You think you're going to be happier
by pursuing your own will, and you're not. You're never happier,
(18:47):
like you only have peace and joy once you're like, okay, God,
your will be done, not mine, just like you know
the Lord's prayer that we pray every every day mass.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yeah, and it's it's just well part of it.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I think people aren't exercising their their in herself anymore
to try and actually, you know, actually seek out what
does God want from me? You know, they don't want
to ask those deep questions and all that kind of stuff.
And you know, God, what can you give me today?
You know I was good. I helped that door for
that old lady. So you know what's going to be
my reward for that?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Right? We just don't live live a self sacrificial god.
You're in control, do what you want with me kind
of life?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Do we well, since we're talking about conversions today, See,
I was a legacy. I was bored into Catholicism and
all that kind of suess. That's all I ever knew
growing up. You're a different story.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Though, Yeah, I am. I was in the New Age.
I was brought up. I think my Pentecostal grandmother probably
has a lot to do. I'm sure she prayed for me,
although she never told me she did, but my love
of birds, and I'm sure she prayed for me. She
was the only one really in my family living now
any kind of fates. But my mom's background was Greek Orthodox,
(19:58):
and my great grandparents were married about I never knew them.
Then my dad's parents on my father's side were Pentecostal,
so they probably prayed for me. I'm sure they did.
But yeah, I just I didn't grow up with I
grew up with parents that were like kind and good
hearted people, and my mom, you know, often talked about
the golden rule, treat people the way you want to
(20:19):
be treated, and they wouldn't you know, everybody would say
I had like just the best parents, because in the neighborhood,
everybody wanted to hang out at my house. And my
parents didn't get divorced, and my dad came home for
dinner every night, but they didn't really raise me or
into any kind of formation. And we had a Bible,
but nobody ever opened it and nobody ever read it.
(20:40):
And I don't know if I moved to Nashville to
pursue songwriting and got it, and you know, looking for
God was always important to me, ironically ironically growing up,
you know the little books your mom would keep and say,
you know, what do you want to be when you
grow up? Here's your first grade picture or second grade
picture or third grade You would say, what do you
want to be when you grow up? What's your favorite food?
(21:02):
Who's your best friend? And every year when she would
ask what do you want to be when you grow up?
I would say, I don't know if I've told you this?
Did I ever tell you this? I said a nun
or an actress, okay, which and my mom's response was
just like, of course, she was bewildered. She was just like,
but we're not even Catholic, Stephanie. I didn't know what
(21:25):
Catholic meant. I was just like, Okay, well I don't
know what that means, but I want to be a
nun or an actress. And I get it now. Like
to my mom, of course, that didn't make sense. Those
two don't even go together. We weren't even Catholic. But
I knew that I wanted to serve God and that
was the most important thing. And I think I knew
I wanted to do it through some kind of entertainment
or media. So now I get it. You know, I
(21:47):
did have years in acting. I've done plays, I've been
in a couple of movies, a couple of music videos.
But the spiritual path is the most important thing. And
if I can use media to make people think different
or to inspire then you know, or encouraged, and that's
I think that's really where my calling is.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
That's what it called you to the gap these church.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Well, it was a couple. There was a few experiences
I started experiencing and it's not it's it takes me
back to Fatima. You know, Archangel Michael was appearing to
the children at Fatima before Mary. So I started having SOMEX.
I was in the New Age and I started having
some experiences of Archangel Michael. There was one wintery drive
(22:28):
to Texas home for Christmas that was the roads were
really bad. All the interstates were shut down. I thought
we were going to run out of gas and be
stuck on the interstate that it was very icy, and
I was just asking Michael the whole time, please get
us their safe. I just kept I knew that he
was an I kind of knew about him from the
New Age, but of course they distored everything. The New
Age is so evil. Let me say that right off
(22:48):
the bat. It's completely ruled by Satan. But I was deceived,
and but I did know about Archangel Michael, so I
kept calling on him to get us there safely. And
once we got there, I saw him. That was my first,
really probably mystical experience. I just saw him in a
big flame of gold and purple and blue, like to say, okay,
I got you here. It was just a flash, and
I just saw it for a second and it was
(23:11):
just just a flash. And then I continued to kind
of feel his presence around me though, which led me
to a meditation CD I started doing and I did it.
It's like the Holy Spirit was on me. Every day
I'd come home from work, I'd go in my bedroom,
my shut the door, and I'd do this meditation CD
and I didn't really have any kind of major experience
for maybe a month, just got relaxed and you know,
(23:34):
and then about a month into it, I found myself
at the foot of the cross. And I wasn't asking
to see Jesus. I wasn't really pursuing Jesus. I was
just in the New Age, wanting to be one with source,
you know, they would say. But then I was like
at the foot of the cross and he was beaten
and bloody, and I could see every wound and his
eye was bolted out. I mean, I'm telling it was
(23:56):
graphic detail. I was so close. I was stricken with
grief and love at the same time. I've never felt
such an intense feeling of love and every morse and
grief because I knew, and I knew it was like
knowledge was given to me in that moment that my
sin contributed to putting him there. And I was just
like there were no words spoken, but I was just like,
I'm so sorry, and I was like in tears. I
(24:16):
was like, I don't want this to be happening to you,
and somehow, without words, he just had peace. He conveyed
to me peace and joy, and he just said, basically,
it's okay, it's okay, this is where I want to
be and I'm doing this for you. And it was
completely life altering. At that moment, I did feel he'd
go across my wrists. I didn't, you know, I was
(24:37):
in the vision, so I didn't look at it until
he also made me aware that there was this blue
fire in him. And then he made me aware that
there was this blue fire in everything that was alive,
the trees, the people. I guess it was the Holy Spirit.
I don't really know that he made me aware that
this blue fire was also in me and that it
was something that connected us all and it was love.
It was love. I just felt like it was love anyway,
(24:59):
so that was kind of it. Then I was back
in my room. I looked at my wrist and I
had a big red mark across my wrist, as if
a laser had It didn't hurt and it wasn't like bleeding,
but it was a big red mark across my wrist.
Let me know that that was a real experience to
this day, when I'm about to go through some kind
of pretty intense suffering, I'll get that red mark back
on my wrist. It comes back up, and I'm like,
(25:21):
oh boy, it's only recently occurred to me to start
asking Mary to intercede and to mitigate the suffering, and
that has seemed to work to where it's not so bad.
But anyway, that was my first experience, and God is
so patient because not to make this long drawn out, sorry,
So it was a couple of years later. Then I
went through a divorce, that marriage was annulled. I lost
(25:41):
both my parents probably within a year of having that
experience of Christ, which is probably why he came to
me at that time. So I lost both my parents
six weeks apart, went through a divorce, marriage, was an
old spent a year alone, and one dark night when
I really just didn't have any money, I didn't have
any family. I didn't know where I was going to turn,
and I just cried out to God and I was like,
(26:01):
please help me. I don't know what to do. I
don't know where to go, I don't know what to
do for a job. I was only working part time.
And then I was in a vision again, and with
the blessed Mother. I wasn't expecting Mary. I didn't ask
for Mary, but I was in a toy store and
it was dark in there, and she basically said she
was a stern mother. And a lot of people have
(26:23):
reported these kind of experiences. Said she wasn't all warm
and fuzzy, but she said, you know, God's not real
happy with you. I was still in the New Age
at that point. She said, God's not really happy with
you what you're doing right now, and you have learned
all you can learn from this toy. She said, it's
like you're a child thrown a temper tantrum because you
don't want to let go of your favorite toy, which
was the marriage at the time. And she said, but
(26:45):
it has shown you all it can show you. It
has nothing left to teach you, and you need to
put it back on the shelf. It was never God's
plan for you. So I had no guilt or like
it was really a gift for her to say that,
because I'm not someone who believes in giving up on marriage.
We said, it's a covenant. But she let me know this,
this was not God's plan for you, and she says,
your choice though, you can stay here and hold on
(27:06):
to this and you're never going to experience anything God
has in store for you, or you can take my
hand and walk with me. And she showed me like
the sunlight outside the door. She's like, God has all
these wonderful things planned for you, but you're you're gonna
have to follow me. You're gonna have to come with me.
And it was like that was the second conversion in
my heart. I was just like, I will follow you.
That was April twenty seventh, twenty twenty eleven, no, twenty twelve, sorry,
(27:30):
twenty twelve. I said, I will follow you. I will
go wherever you're leading me. I don't want to stay here.
And that was like a real conversion of heart. And
from that moment on, I didn't have anxiety. I was
having really bad anxiety before that. My anxiety laughed me
that night. I was able to sleep that night, So
shows you no discern things. That was fruit from that experience,
(27:52):
and you know, I started going. I bought a rosary.
I didn't know what to do with it. I just
hung it on my wall because I thought it was pretty.
It was years before I would ever learn to pray
it God is so patient. But you know, I'd ended
up writing a screenplay about her, a blog about her,
a song about her. I just loved Mary. And within
a year I hadn't met a guy that was raised
(28:14):
Catholic like you, and he had read my blog and
I remember him saying, are you Catholic? And I was
like no, it's like no, I would never be Catholic,
you know, the kind of thing. And I was like,
but I love Mary anyway. So we started dating and
within a year I was in Rcia. In April twenty thirteen,
I became Catholic. So you know, well, my story in
(28:38):
a nutshell.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Well, between back then and even lack last night, as
soon as you finally every time you've always given yourself up,
that's right, when you feel total peace.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
You're right, you're right. Thanks for pointing that out. I
didn't think of it that way. That's a really good point, Jeff. Yeah,
So when we totally give ourselves over to God, he
wants to bring us peace, He wants to bring us
love and joy and protect us.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Right, yeah, totally, And you know lots of time everything, Well,
when you hit rock bottom, that's when God helps you out.
I think if you paid attention on the way down,
you wouldn't have to go all the way to rock
bottom before he'd help you out.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Absolutely, because there were definitely red signs, I mean red
flags on the way down. I could look back at
a lot of red flags where God was saying, hey,
you know, I'm here if you don't want to go
all the way down this bad path, and I ignore,
you're right, ignored them till I hit rock bottom. It
just seems to be our human nature, right, We just
(29:34):
somehow God can't get through to us until we're completely broken.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Well, and I mean I mean it goes all the
way back from the from the beginning. I mean, like
the Apostles here they are walking with Jesus and they're
then they're arguing about which one's the best.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
You know that's true, and the Jesus right.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Or even like doubting Thomas, you know he's sitting there,
oh he rose, Oh yeah, right, you know right, or
you know pretty much all of them, you know they
saw all these things and that they still I mean,
I can't see how you could see a guy walk
on the lake and then ever doubt.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Again, I know you're right, but it still requires belief.
There was a priest just about a week a couple
of weeks ago when they did that. The reading of
the day was when Thomas, you know where Jesus said,
you know, blessed or those you have seen, so you believed,
But blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed.
And he said that scripture he had the best humbly
(30:29):
about that scripture I've ever heard. He said that scripture
always confused me because all these people had seen, like
you said, Jesus walk on water, He'll raise the dead,
heal the sick, you know, give sight to the blind.
And why did they have to have belief? He said,
I think we always still have to have belief, because
he said, if a pink elephant flew through the air
right now into this cathedral and passed us all by
(30:52):
and then blew out that window, even though we all
saw it, it's so out of the ordinary, we would
still have to have faith and believe to accept it, right,
or we would talk ourselves we blow when we were
just imagining it, or that didn't really happen. We would
talk ourselves out of it. I thought that was the
best analogy because, like I just shared a lot of
the things that have happened in my life. I could
(31:13):
talk myself out of all that didn't really happen, or
maybe I'm crazy. There's times some fault like am I crazy?
Like I've had these experiences, I'm like, am I crazy?
But no, it's thank God. God's given me the grace
of faith and belief.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
And one bort thing what you said there, like I
like that pink ellow it flying through the air thing.
A lot of times though, if you notice like that's
something that you'll see it that you won't actually tell
the person next to you that you saw it. You know,
it's kind of like right, and so you're able to
talk yourself out. And it's kind of like with God
when he does something good, people are like, no one's
(31:49):
going to believe me when I told him this, you know,
it's like, right, I prayed for God and then all
sud bam it happened.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
You know, they're not going to believe.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
That kind of exactly.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
But if you just share it and then well, yeah
I saw it too.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah exactly, And and God has graced me with so
many actually so many like you know, you and I
have shared some stories personally that we might not get
into today, but you and like some of the women
in my life that have had really amazing experiences like that,
that do experience God on a mystical or a supernatural level.
I mean, I think I think, you know, if you're
(32:23):
open to God, you're going to experience that at some
point because He wants to have that close of a
relationship with us.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Yeah, and it's kind of it's kind of weird to
help me will show it too that this is going
to be really selfish and really goofy. I mean, but
I think ever since I was a little kid, when
I would sit there and go to church and you
didn't pay attention to the priest or anything. You know,
you just were putting in your forty five minutes and
doing your Catholic talent stakes and then going.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
On right football or something.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
But I don't know if it was a sermon I
heard or something about the priest talking about angels. So
probably what forty five years later, you know, when the
priest is, you know, blessing the sacrament and all that
kind of stuff in you're on your knees. For some reason,
I still look at the altar and I searched the altar.
I'm looking for an angel because I want I want
(33:11):
to I want to be seeing and I want to
see an angel. You know, it's right, it's not like
I don't believe you, but I still just want to
see an.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Angel, yes, exactly. And from my experience, all I can
share is my own personal experience. The only times I've
had these mystical experiences have been when I've either been
very very broken, really crying out to God, I'm not
going to make it. You've got to help me. Or
they've been times when I've just been in a really
high stated gratitude and not expecting or asking to see anything,
(33:41):
when I'm just like, God, You're so awesome. I'm just
thank you so much for this, you know whatever. When
I'm just really thankful, or when i'm really broken, that
that tends to be when I've had the experiences.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
You know, I got this one little little trick, not
even a trick that was a bad word, but our
priests has been about a year now and just for everybody.
And when the priest told him said it during the Masth,
it's kind of like, okay, but then I went ahead
and tried it. He was talking about the Trinity and everything.
And he said, you know, throughout the day, just for
no reason, whatever you're doing, just do the Sign of
(34:13):
the Cross, Father Son, Holy Spirit, and just do it
as many times it can as you can during the day.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
You know, you don't even have to say a prayer.
Just do it.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
And I was like, okay, I don't. My mom was
sick and the same thing that you are. You know,
I didn't really have anything going on. So throughout the
day I would just okay, and I'd do the Sign
of the Cross, or if i'd get in the car
to go for a drive, right and sign the cross. Okay, God,
thank you for letting me go to the grocery store
and having the money whatever. And I'll tell you what,
over the last year, by doing the Sign of the Cross,
probably ten or twelve times a day, I think I
(34:41):
had gotten closer to God than I had in the
previous fifty seven years of my life.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
That's awesome. That shows what power that there is in that.
And you know, my priest friend that actually married my husband,
and if Father dan'stein or I love him, he told
a story that it's it's lad it's more like tradition.
I don't think it's actually documented anywhere, but apparently Saint Mark,
you know Mark, Matthew Mark, and then the Mark that
(35:08):
walked with Jesus. He had someone, you know, someone was
challenging the sign of the Cross, and he grabbed a
little girl from the from the crowd and he said,
there was like there was a demon and in the crowd,
and he said, make the sign of the cross. Because
he knew she was pure and she was just a child,
she was very pure. She made the sign of the
Cross and everybody was able to witness how the demons fled.
(35:30):
And he said, now that's why we make the sign
of the Cross, because when you make it from your
heart and with faith, that's how powerful it is.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yeah, and it kind of it just pulls you back
from your regular life to remind you that there is
something greater than you are, you know, and you're just
it's just kind of like, hey, father, it's the only spirit.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Okay, then you go by your dad. At least you're
pulling you back a little bit, pulling you back a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
And then like I said, over the last year, it's
pulling me back enough where I've actually been able to
get a lot more touch and feel a lot closer.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
I guess you could say, right, and then I'm so
sorry about your mom actually just passed. And also that
brings you closer to God when you're going through grief,
and you and I've talked a little bit about grief
and grief is such a purifying process. It's a painful process,
but it's such a purifying process if you can draw
closer to God through it. And I'm just, yeah, I'm
(36:18):
really sorry you've had to go.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Through that, but thank you.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Well, that's one thing about I think that since we're
talking about priest going through my mom's funeral and all
that kind of stuff, and the priests and the deacons
and they were the church was awesome. You know, they
were just so great through the whole thing, you know,
of you know, father death, my mom took a turn.
You know, he had given her an annoytment for the
sick like a couple of months before, and I go,
what do we do for They were just out here
(36:43):
and they said he might not make it through the night,
So what do we do about last rites? He said, okay,
I'll be over in about ten minutes, you know, And
then at the mass, tiny church will we have three deacons. Well,
so at her funeral, all three deacons are there along
with mass and all that kind of stuff and h
But the priests and the deacons and all that kind
(37:05):
of stuff, I think they get it. I think because
you think about it. When somebody dies and we are
so crushed, we should be happy. I mean, they are
going home, they're going to heaven, They're going to go
see Jesus and God and all that kind of stuff, right,
and this moment that should be like, well you made it,
you know, instead of like all.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Sadden right, right, we kind of I mean we're sad
for ourselves. We should be happy for them, and now
we have someone in heaven praying for us, right so,
or even if they're in purgatory praying for us. That's
very powerful. You know, I've read it. I've read the
I think you even read it. The manuscript unpublished manuscript
of Purgatory that Maria Simma you've heard of that. Yeah,
(37:45):
very powerful, a lot of information about purgatory. But Jesus said,
I'm closest to those in purgatory. I answered their prayers
first because they are suffering the most.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
That'll be We're going to have to talk about purgatory
on one of our shows. That's just we need a
whole that again to start getting into it, because then
we'll be we'll be way off of what we were gotten.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
So back to back to suffering. I mean, you just
can't say. I you know, I have suffered more since
I've become Catholic, but I've also had more miracles, more grace,
more joy, more favor. I feel God's favor on me.
I mean almost anything I ask for that's spiritual, you know,
Like I said, yeah, I want a new car. My
car is not doing great. I haven't gotten that. But
(38:29):
if I ask for like you know, strength or faith
or or I just feel lonely, that someone always shows
up at the door calls me at that moment, like
God does provide. You know.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
It's kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
I think I talked about a little bit earlier about
half hearted prayers and all that kind of stuff. It's
kind of funny like something that throughout your life feel
like God, please help me, you know, let my car
not break down. You know, I don't have anybody, you know,
please don't let me get out in the car, and
all that kind of stuff, and I think, involved me,
that's kind of burst.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
But then you'll do something.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
You'll be like, you'll be looking for a phone number
that you haven't seen it in like six months, and
it's like you have to have it, good man, Come on, God,
where's that phone number at? And then five seconds later
you move something, there's that phone number.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
It's like, right, all these little miracles, Yeah, all these
little miracles. So just if we if we can watch
for them, they're there. And I think the Bible says
it's impossible to please God without faith. I think the
more faith you have, the more he loves to just
shower those little things onto you.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
And I think it's easier for him.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
And then what I mean and that I think if
you have faith and you're looking for his help, it's
easier for him to give it. You don't have the faith.
He can give you the exact same thing, but if
you're not looking for it, you're not gonna accept it
and take it and run with it.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Right. He's like, well, I'm not gonna waste my tom And.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
He might not even be wasting. He might do it.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
You just don't see it, you know, kind of you say,
you know God, help me. I need a job, and
he says, okay, Well you go to say McDonald's and
you're sitting there and there's an old gentleman who's sitting
there having coffee or something in his big muffin, and
you could sit down, but now I'll just go eat
my car. Or if you had just satting down with him,
he could have gotten your job.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yeah, it's learning to listen to those little nudges. Yeah,
being open, I guess to.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
God that's the best one, just being open.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Just being open. Yeah, he can't get in if he's
you know, he's a gentleman. He's not going to push
the door open like Satan does. He's gonna wait till
you invite him.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
You know, that's exactly. And that what you said.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
I just throwd it not too long ago. Somebody written
it up. I don't remember it if you remember, right,
and all Jesus is preaching and all that kind of stuff.
He never chased anybody or went back after him. He
gave what his sad and then he was done. You know,
it's not like he you know, it's not like he
didn't give you a second chance. He just said this
is it and then there's that you can either follow
me or you can't. You care you're gonna follow me
(40:50):
or not. I'm not going to chase you around begging you.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Yeah, listen to me. Yeah. He wasn't going to beg anybody.
He wasn't gonna pound him over the head with it.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
You know, And when we talk about suffering and all
that kind of stuff, I kind of like try and
not equate myself with like people throughout history or anything
like that, but try and put myself into it, you know,
like you think suffering like Peter, you know, if I
was going to be killed, would I actually do the
most painfully and be crucified upside down?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
You know? It's kind of like, man, that's some faith
and then that kind of thing, Man, God, how can
I get that faith?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
You know?
Speaker 3 (41:28):
I really love to be able to. I just don't
know if I could do that.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
That's just like love. I think that's just like that
deep love, that reverence of will, willingness to when you
love someone that much and you realize how much they
love you and how much they've suffered for you. I
think it's natural just to be like, what can I do?
Like how much of myself. Can I give you to
pay you back? And I'll never pay you back for
what you've given me, but yeah, let me give you
(41:54):
all I.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Can and then okay, now so we've gotten y'all. We
love our priests. We loved Saint Vannie for blessing our priest,
and yeah, well I don't know how you can recruit him.
I mean, I know the Catholic churches died, but I
she'er liked for some young men who just feel the
calling but not being scared. I think, because that's such
(42:14):
a need to talk about answering a calling. Now, that's
the that's hard to get.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Well, I think there's a surge. I mean from everything
I'm hearing, there's a surge of very really holy young
men wanting to become priests. I think the priesthood is
on the uprise. Catholicism is on the upprise, which is awesome.
I think we're entering into times of tribulation but also
times of revival and like I said, the best of times,
the worst of times. But I'll end it with a
(42:42):
story my priest's friend told me, and it kind of
goes back to John Beyonni and wanting God's will, He said,
he he kind of felt like he was supposed to
be a priest, but he was engaged, had to plan
for his life, and was trying to go through all
this discernment trying to figure out what he wanted. What,
don't want to be a priest, don't want to get married?
Do you know all this? And he loved the ocean,
so he went to the ocean. He was sitting on
(43:03):
a rock in the middle of the ocean, still trying
to figure it out. He'd gone on mission trips even
he had even had the grace of like seeing Christ
in India in a guy when he was changing the bandage.
It was really gross, like the guy had gangreen and
changing his bandage and saw literally his face went away
and it became the face of Christ. So God was
already pouring like a lot of grace onto him, and
(43:26):
he's a very holy, awesome priest now. But anyway, he
was sitting on this rock trying to figure out what
he wanted to do, and he finally heard God say,
you know, you haven't once asked me what I want?
And that hit him. He's like, it hit me like
a ton of bricks, and he said, Okay, God, what
do you want? And he said, I want you to
become my priest, real clear, and he was like okay.
(43:46):
From that moment on, I said, did you ever look
back or regret it? And he's like, nope, never, never
have regretted it, just went full force into it.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
After that, Well, that is totally awesome.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, so we got to remember to ask God what
he wants.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
And that would actually save us a lot of trouble
if we.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Want, save us a lot of trouble. Yeah, and bring
us a lot of joy too.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Right, exactly right.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
I think.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Well, i'd like to tease the next show on what
we're going to talk about how you listeners, But we
can't because we just let we don't know. We're going
to let the Holy Spirit come talk to us and
that's what we're going to talk about next time.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Yeah, and hopefully enjoyed today. It was fun sharing with
you guys, and always great talking to you, Jeff.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
It was also all right, God, bless y'all. We'll talk
to you soon,
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