Absolute Sunday (Recorded Live On 5-4-25)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Mhm, what's up everybody? This is a big holding your

(01:51):
own hair, whether this might her podcast, coming to you
live from wherever you want us to be coming live from.
I'm bringing my co host, Lady G.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Lady G was good, good evening ladies and gentlemen's.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yes, how are you?

Speaker 2 (02:11):
I am wonderful and you I'm.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I'm pretty good. I'm pretty pretty good, you know, handling things,
you know, not yelling and screaming, which is good.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
What do you have to be yelling and screaming about,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
You know, the world.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Actually, actually, actually the dog was just barking. I had
to tell her to hush it up. We were going live,
and she just chilled out.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Oh yeah, the world. That that's definitely something to be
yelling and screaming about.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah. So, you know, I just want to let everybody
know that we were supposed to a show Wednesday, but due
to circumstances beyond my control, our control, everybody's control, Verizon
had some issues that day.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
They had other plans.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah, they did, they really did. And yeah, I was
on the phone with them like four times. I was like, listen, man,
you gotta and they were like, now it's outers in
your area, and I was like, all right, go whatever,
so you know how to deal with it. So we're
here now, absolute Sunday. Yes, how was your week?

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Uh? My week was awesome, wonderful, great. Anytime you know,
I make it through the week, it's a wonderful, wonderful thing.
So yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Well that that that's a good thing. That's definitely a
good thing. Not killing anybody.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah, yeah, my daughter made it back from her senior
trip in one piece, so that's you know.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
That's good. Yeah, that's that's that's great. My My week
was was pretty chill except for freaking Wednesday that was
that was disaster. But you know, we're here. You know,
I'm not I'm not gonna I'm not gonna complain, but

(04:21):
you know, so Simon Phoenix should be here soon. I
don't know if if TG is gonna pop in, but
let's let's just let's just get right right to it.
Let's get let's jump right in there. Now. We're gonna
start with an email that I got.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
Hey, guys, how come you don't send me any email?

Speaker 1 (04:51):
You know what? Actually, actually, let's do this, let's do
this right now. Let's do this right now now for
any of the fans of the show that oh all right,
hold on, hold up real quick. All right, so we
got a message from midnight.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
Thank you Midnight, We've missed being missed.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Absolutely, and then actually Christina holds the top fan badge
on the fan page. Yes she does.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Well, thank you Christina for being so faithful.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
And then this is Heather saying hello, Hello, how are
you now? Now, now, now that we're here, we're going
to do it like this. Let's talk about this. If anyone,
anyone wants to reach out to any of she said absolutely,

(05:53):
this absolute Sunday. So absolutely anyone wants to be out
to any specific host the cost of co host of
the show, send send a send a request and I'll
get you the email to that specific host and you

(06:17):
can email directly. You can email the host directly and
have conversation. You know what I'm saying. You can you know,
ask for advice or an opinion for that specific host.
All you got to do is shoot a PM and
I'll get you that information. And you know, because what
we wanted, what I wanted, what I really want to

(06:38):
do is I want to get I want to get
some some fans in here that can share their story
and their experiences with us live. Right, So if anyone
has a story or has experienced something, hold on me.

(07:00):
Let one second. All right, what's up? You're good.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
He's frozen, Dubs is frozen.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
So, like I was.

Speaker 3 (07:18):
Saying, my arm so terrorists.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah, so yeah, you're frozen. You have to pop in
and out. So anyway, so like I was saying, if.

Speaker 4 (07:30):
Anybody come get your brother, best friend me, I'm not
I'm not playing.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
No, just hold on, hold on, So anybody anybody pants
on you already?

Speaker 3 (07:42):
Bro?

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Who's he's that bad connection?

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah? Your connection is bad. I'm outside, I know, but
your connection, your your face is frozen. You're not moving,
you're not doing nothing, So reload. You're good now, I'll
try try try.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
I'm good.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Nah, you're delayed. You're delayed.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
Relo alright, bet hold on? All right?

Speaker 1 (08:12):
So what I was saying, quick question? What's this? Quick question?
You're sure it was a WiFi someone?

Speaker 4 (08:26):
All right?

Speaker 1 (08:26):
All right, all right, real funny, real funny, My my
my WiFi. Bill was definitely paid. All right, my wife Bill.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
That's why he's in the car. He got homeless.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Man.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
You're good, Yeah, it's working now all right, so let
me get back to what I was saying. Let me
get back to what I was saying. So what I
want to do is I want to get some fans
to come in here live. I want them to be
able to share their their experiences, their story with us
while we listen and give feedback. So if there any

(09:06):
if we come across any fans that want to do
something like that, just send the send a message and
I'll tell you where to send it.

Speaker 5 (09:18):
Hold on, uh banners, they're scrolling across the bottom the
information you you might want to, you might need.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
It's there. Anybody wants to come on live like like, yeah,
right on camera with us. I mean, you know, you
you could do you can do a little avatar or
whatever it is. But if if you want your voice
to be heard, you want to talk, whatever it is,
let us know will get you on. You know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
Yes, you could be like me, just a beautiful voice
over the radio.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Absolutely absolutely, just the picture you know what I'm saying,
that's animated and all that stuff.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
All right, so yeah, that's all right. So now I
have I have a bunch of things that we're going
to get to but but I would, oh hold on,
oh you would, so you would like to share with

(10:23):
us midnight if you if you really want to, just
you know, let me know and we'll get you on.
But anyway, I have I have an email here that
uh oh, what's this?

Speaker 3 (10:45):
I can't read's fishing.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
Man. Look but don't blow up this heady the Christina.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
I don't need now. But like you guys been man,
we took a little hiatus.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah. Yeah, everybody. Everybody's everybody's good man. Everybody's chilling, you know,
doing all that.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
I had to heal from the uh uh I needed
healing from you?

Speaker 3 (11:24):
What I do.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Just being you?

Speaker 3 (11:28):
Yeah, well, I mean I'm not I'm not for the
you know? Was that what I was?

Speaker 2 (11:36):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (11:36):
I lost the word I was looking for. Never mind no.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
Like, so hold up so real quick, let me get
to this to this one specific this one specific email.
It kind of Oh by the way, I went to
go see Thunderbolts Thursday. It's a really good movie. Go
check it out. It's it's it's got ninety on rotten
tomato with means it's certified fresh. Definitely go, definitely go

(12:06):
check that film. I've got some dark undertones. But it's
a really good film. It's home in some stocks.

Speaker 4 (12:12):
I want to see The Centers, man, Like, that's what
I want to see.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
I heard that was a really good movie itself. Yeah,
I heard it was really good.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
I've seen a lot of people complaining that.

Speaker 4 (12:23):
You know, a certain you know, a certain group was
complaining about why they wasn't represented the movies.

Speaker 3 (12:29):
But it's in the South nineteen thirty two of keeping
it historical.

Speaker 4 (12:34):
So so I was like, the fuck you complaining about
you know what I'm saying, Like, no, you know what,
there's any Latinos in Mississippi in the thirty thirties, you
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
If anything, they were like in Texas and California.

Speaker 4 (12:49):
You know what I'm saying, Like there was there was
barely anybody, you know what I'm saying, Like you know,
you know they complained about why Chinese people was there
and whatever because they were there in the thirties.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
You see what I mean, Like like you know what.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
It was it was time accurate.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
Yeah, you know, like it was time accurate.

Speaker 4 (13:05):
So it's like yepp and you I don't know, bro,
It's like it's like it's that complaining about I'll come.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (13:17):
There's no timber and boots in the seventeen fifties, see
what I mean? Like it doesn't make sense.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Right, So so real quick, let me get let me
get to this, to this email. Right. So, how do
you how do you find the strength to leave an
eight year relationship when you're terrified of being alone? Okay? Now,

(13:47):
I have been in a relationship with my partner for
the past eight years. We've shared so much, so many milestones,
every day routines plan for the future. But over time,
the thing things have changed. We've slowly grown apart. There's

(14:07):
a general sense of dissatisfaction, and our visions of the
future are no longer aligned. It's not dramatic or toxic,
just it's just quiet painful. Oh, It's just a quiet,
painful realization that we are no longer the right people

(14:28):
for each other. Despite knowing this deep down, I still
haven't found the strength to leave the idea of actually
moving out of being alone in a silent apartment, especially
at night. It scares me so much. I know this
relationship isn't right for me anymore, but the fear of

(14:50):
loneliness is strong I'm not sure how to face that emptiness.
How do you come to terms with it? How do
you go from sharing your life so closely with someone
to suddenly being on your own. If you've been similar

(15:12):
in a similar situation, or know someone that has, what
helped you or that person get through it, how did
you find the courage to take that final step to
leave even when the alternative felt so scary. All right,
we're gonna start off. You got to start off with
doc daughter.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
Mm hmmm. I don't know if I'm the right one
for this one, but anyway, So, as I've shared many
times on the show, I was married for sixteen years
and it was very similar like the idea. The end
was very similar to that, the thought of this is

(15:58):
not where we started, right, We're not the people that
we used to be. Our goals are not aligning anymore.
This seems to have become a a roommate situation and
we actually had children, and so I can definitely connect

(16:22):
with that fear of the unknown for the future, the loneliness,
the being alone. Okay, so what helped me get through?
And I know we don't talk about politics, religion and
things like that on the show, but to be totally
transparent and honest. I honestly had to say I have
to say that with all of the things that I tried,

(16:45):
because I was alone, you know, there was no family support.
You know, I just didn't have any of that. Honestly,
it was allowing what was going to happen to happen
and telling myself that it was actually going to be
okay to not be okay, knowing that this was going

(17:10):
to be a change. And I can't lie. I'm six
years later and I have my moments where I think back,
like would it, could have, should have? But then at
the same time, remember there's a reason why you approached
the situation the way you did that, you had the

(17:31):
conversation you did that it ended the way that it did.
But I think at the end, the thing that helped
me the most was my faith, seeking out my spirituality
because you know what a lot of people don't realize
is spirituality is not just religion. It's not just attending church.

(17:57):
It's also about finding out who you are now. Because
I think what we failed to realize as human beings
is relationships and people change, They change over time. What
we needed when we first got together is not what
we need later on in the relationship actually being honest,

(18:23):
and that's a big thing. You know. There was a
conversation that was had between a group recently about them
having an issue and not reaching out to their partner
about it, and so they were recommended and encouraged to
let their partner know what was happening, especially because as

(18:46):
women were nurturers. And I don't understand sometimes why men
feel that if they share their pain, if they share
their emotion, if they share their vulnerability, that the woman
is going to feel put upon or the woman is
going to automatically feel like they are a burden. And

(19:07):
a man doesn't want to be a burden to his
woman or to his family, right, And and the truth
of the matter absolutely, yeah, yeah, and and and the
thing is when two people truly love and care about
each other, we can get lost. We can get lost
with each other, we can turn into the friendship, the roommateship.

(19:32):
But it's on both people to come back together and
say this is where I am right now, this is
what I need, this is what I want. And then
the other partner comes with their same thing, and you
guys have to decide together this this is this is
what's best for us, this is what's not what not

(19:53):
best for us, and so what do we need to
do now? Because it would be such a wonderful thing
if both people could come to that same agreement that
maybe this is where we stop, Maybe this is the
end of our road. You know, everything doesn't have to
be horrible, you know. And the fear of being alone,

(20:19):
of course, it's a scary thing to think about. Yeah,
and everybody's different, so it lasts for a different length
for everybody, you know, but sometimes you know, to be
totally honest, I had to lose my sixteen year marriage
to actually find myself, to actually find the pieces of

(20:44):
me that I had lost along the way that I
didn't realize, and I realized that the person that I
had become was not the person at twenty something years
old that got married. I needed something different, and it
doesn't have to be a better thing. I I will
not sit here and say that sixteen years of marriage
was a waste, because it wasn't. If nothing else, it

(21:07):
was a lesson. It was it helped me grow, you know,
because in any relationship, especially to last a few years,
Like the person who sent the email, you learn more
things about yourself, and you learn more things about other people.
And I think when we're young, we go into relationships

(21:30):
thinking that we're gonna find what we say are maydia
naranca and that it's you know, maybia naranka, the other
half of our orange, you know, our other half.

Speaker 3 (21:40):
Is that Latin?

Speaker 2 (21:42):
It's Spanish?

Speaker 3 (21:44):
Oh wow? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (21:46):
Half not all right, you know what you know what
Like at first, I'm sorry, right at first, I was like,
you know, like no, like listening to whatever I'm like,
and you said something. I was like, oh, look at
this one talking you know, like you know or the
Roman Latin. Let me find out that sophificated.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
Did you not know this?

Speaker 6 (22:07):
Jubbs, No, I'm sorry, go ahead, go ahead because like
everything you're saying, you know, like like you know, I'm
not gonna counter.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
I'm gonna agree, but I'm gonna add your own stuff.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
Yeah. Yeah, And that's important too, because I think we
forget that we as women feel one type of way
about the same situation that a man feels another type
of way about. But what happens is we end up
not talking to each other because we're so afraid. So
imagine this, We're so afraid to be alone. But how

(22:41):
about we're so afraid to talk to the person that
we're supposed to be the most vulnerable with and trust
the most, but we won't. So you either do or
you don't. You know, maybe the relationship is still for you,
but you haven't put your you know, you can't expect
something from somebody else that you, yourself, are not willing
to give, you know, So if you want somebody else

(23:03):
to be vulnerable, you also have to put yourself out
there to be vulnerable too. But yeah, and the fear,
the fear of alone, Yeah, that's real, that's real. Especially, yeah,
especially when you have created a life together. You're losing
what you thought was forever. And so yes, that's scary

(23:28):
that it's terrifying, you know, again being transparent. Still, when
I got divorced, my fear was not just that I
would be alone. It was more, I'm gonna end up
raising my kids alone? How am I going to afford
a mortgage alone? How am I going to afford groceries alone?

(23:51):
And who's gonna love me? You know? My bed is
now empty, and when I need to I have a
tough day, there's nobody there to comfort me. Unfortunately, in
my situation, it didn't matter because even when that person

(24:13):
was here, I still don't feel that I received those things.
So it was like, okay, but if we change nothing,
nothing changes, you know, So we find ourselves getting to
the point in our life where the situation is so bad.
And and like the person that sent the email said,

(24:36):
but I know that this relation is not for me anymore. Right,
So if you already know that, who better knows you
than yourself? If you already know that sometimes drastic times
call for drastic measures, and nothing changes unless we change it.

Speaker 4 (24:56):
Right, Because the person said that they're already known, right,
See is that? And is that you know what? Like
in their mind, they're already they're already breaking up with
this person, right, They just you know, like it's like
if you know what like like every like you know
what one thing I noticed that everything is like an addiction,

(25:17):
even a person, you know, like you're around the person
so long, that's an addiction.

Speaker 3 (25:22):
So when they leave, you know, you you know what
I'm saying, They're scared of that, you know what I'm saying.
The detoxing, you see what I mean. It's like I
could I could compare it to and believe me.

Speaker 4 (25:39):
And the reason why I'm making this comparison is because
I've actually been through it before.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
Right, A breakup is like your detop.

Speaker 4 (25:48):
You know what I'm saying, Like like a relationship is
like someone take a heroine or me popping pills, you know,
good times, bad times, whatever. And then when it was
and then when it was like over and said and
done with, you don't know what to do your detoxing.
You're going through it, You're going through the pains, you
know what I'm saying. Like I went through physical pain

(26:10):
like when I broke you know, like my last relationship
prior to this one, right, I didn't speak much of anything.

Speaker 3 (26:16):
I just cried. I cried inside a bottle.

Speaker 4 (26:18):
I cried to a bottle, and I started doing more
stuff to like not think of anything, like just numb
it out, you know. Like but the fear was like, oh,
I'm gonna be alone. But yet at the same time though,
it was like I already knew time was up because
like I didn't because I didn't want to look at

(26:38):
you know, my toxic trade and nothing, you know, And
then like you know, I went through that and then
like one day I just woke up I was like,
you know.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
What, I should take this time to myself and.

Speaker 4 (26:52):
Really really dived, like you know, dive deep into like
why I am the way I am? And I took
and cordel and now we will talk, right And I
told them I was like, yo, remember like every time,
like you know, I was with a relationship, we break up,
I'll like stress for two weeks and next you know,
I got a new girl. And just like you know,
like I always had like a backup plan because I

(27:14):
was scared to be alone. I always had a backup
plan always. The last time I didn't have one, and
I purposely did that. I was like, you know what,
you knew what it was like. I was tired of running,
you know, because I because like you know what, like
I was tired of like trying to put my hand
up my ass on the stop ship when I couldn't
stop it. You can't stop ship, so get your hand

(27:38):
out to direct them, you know. And it was by
the way, but but yo, you know what it is.
It is you know what I'm saying. It is a
metaphor saying like, yo, I know what happened now now
you know, at first I'm saying being a lone part,
you know, like doodling fingers and know, like you start reminiscing,

(28:01):
you start having all those you know, saying those you
reminisce about the good times when you try to you
know what I'm saying, Like you don't think about like
what led up to that point, right it's there, you know,
like you start you know, like boohooing or whatever, and
then like, you know, because that's what I did. And
then like you know, like I would say, like two
three months in, you know what I'm saying, like the

(28:22):
weather changed, I started going outside.

Speaker 3 (28:24):
I was ad, you know what.

Speaker 4 (28:26):
I'm starting, I'm kind of I'm kind of I'm starting
to like, you know, the idea of like I don't
have to answer to nobody and this kid and they'd like,
you know, like I was picking at the petty parts
of it first, but then I started realizing, I'm like,
I don't even like like like you know, like one day,
like I was at the pier by myself at one
in the morning, head phones on right, looking at New
York slight, little win and then it dawned on me.

Speaker 3 (28:52):
Who the hell are you? You don't even know yourself?

Speaker 4 (28:56):
I would I would purposely get lost in other and
other people because I was too scared to know who
I was. Because I was too scared, Like you said, fear,
fear will you know? Fear will you know?

Speaker 2 (29:12):
Fear is a big motivating Fear will have you doing the.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
Most irrational things.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
It's crazy. It's crazy that that that this guy.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
To do that.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
Yeah, it says, yeah, male thirty one.

Speaker 4 (29:30):
Male like like like like, look, you know what, all right,
you know what? Another thing too, right, because because I'm
gonna put I'm gonna put the business out there. It
was me that that that brought it, that brought up
to the group, and I was scared that I was
being a burden to my woman because and here's the
reason why. So right now, I'm currently not working. I

(29:56):
got you know, I got to an accident four years ago.
Still going through the litigations of everything, spinal cord injury.
You know, like it's raining right now. I'm feeling it. Oh,
I'm feeling it. And you know, like like it's gotten
to the point where like the like like you know,

(30:18):
like I got nerve damage and I got chronic pain,
like it's chronic. Like it's gone to the point where
I'm seeing like a therapist for pain, you know, because
like because like you know what, pain really changes people, man,
Like pain changes your whole outlook, especially with chronic pain
or whatever, and like and like you know what, like
it gets to the point sometimes where I literally want

(30:40):
to jump out the window and break my back completely,
you know, like it's it's that bad. And like I
don't talk about it, you know, like because I don't
want to worry my girl and stuff, especially that we
have a baby upstairs. And then like you know, she's
the one that you know, like like as of right now,
you know what I'm saying, she's the breadwinner, even though
like you know, I get you know, like workers comp

(31:02):
and and.

Speaker 3 (31:04):
My veterans checked.

Speaker 4 (31:05):
But I feel as if, like you know what, like
this is where you know what I'm saying, Like I
can actually say the toxic masculinity in me is still
there because I feel like, you know, it's not fair
to her that she works.

Speaker 3 (31:16):
She should be home. I'm the one's supposed to be working,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (31:20):
I'm the one that's supposed to be like doing all this,
and yet it falls on her, you know what I'm saying,
Like certain things like today, Like today, like I try
to clean up and you know, you try cleaning up
after a toddler man, like she would just make a
mess on whatever. And it's frustrating, and like, you know,
I wanted to, you know, I want to, like you know,

(31:44):
make sure you know what I'm saying, like make the
house look clean or whatever at least and.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
Talents man, you.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
Know, so like you know, like she like you know,
she's cleaning up and like see his little stuff like
that that makes me feel like I'm less I'm less
of you know what I'm saying. And it's because you know,
like like you know, like it's out of my you know,
like it's out of my hands. But it's like I
always refer to that if this was in my hands,

(32:14):
this wouldn't be happening, which is true, but guess what
those were my plans?

Speaker 3 (32:19):
God had other plans, you see what I mean.

Speaker 4 (32:22):
So so like so I've brought you know, I brought
it to the you know, to the group and whatever
you know about how like you know, like like this thing,
this whole ordeals like really affected me and whatever.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
And I don't want to tell my girl that because
I don't want her to worry.

Speaker 4 (32:38):
But she's gonna worry anyways, because you know what, when
she asked me questions, sometimes I sit in silence and
tell her I'm okay when I'm far from it, you know.

Speaker 3 (32:46):
And it's like.

Speaker 4 (32:48):
It's like, you know, what in the evor that we
that that we grew up in you know, gihn X, right,
we we came up and ever where crying was kind
of round upon.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
Whatever. You know, like you don't cry in front of people,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (33:06):
Like it's like, you know, like you straight face it
even if it hurts.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
Right, And to this day, I'm trying to unlearn that
because you know what, h this is.

Speaker 4 (33:18):
This is part of the reason why like you know,
a lot of us, like you know, for damaged. I
ain't gonna say sort of damage. No, we're damaged, you know,
just from that alone. And you know, like I'm trying
to unlearn that. And and yeah, you know what, you know,
you know, my sister's on a podcast.

Speaker 3 (33:40):

Speaker 4 (33:41):
The game The game is like verbal spanking right as
to like you know, like while I'm not you know,
like you know, and this that and the third but
I'm telling them.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
You know, I'm gonna say it again.

Speaker 4 (33:50):
I'm trying to unlearn that, you know, because like when
you're used to doing something for so long, right, it
becomes part of you. So it's like now you're trying
to learn things, you know, because like it's it's a dawn,
you know, it's a new day and age and er,
and you're trying to learn things.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
And sometimes like certain things is like I said, or
not you know.

Speaker 4 (34:13):
Right, and and it's and it's not because you know
and and and you know what in a way it
is because like I don't want to see as weak
as I am.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
But it's not, it's not it's not that it's not
that true. It's not that you're weak.

Speaker 4 (34:25):
But the truth is, you know what I'm saying, at
this very moment in time, I am weak, like I'm
speaking on it right now.

Speaker 3 (34:33):
You know, Like so you you.

Speaker 1 (34:34):
Feel you feel that that that you're you're weak. What
what's making I understand that you you're you're in a
position right now that's making you feel less of right,
but you can't control the circumstances at this point for you.
But you also but also but listen, but hold up
but also you you're doing what you can as part

(34:58):
of what you need to do to get things done.
You know what I'm saying, Like you're you're doing You're
doing your part, bro.

Speaker 4 (35:04):
I mean but see, but see, you know what the
problem is, right, The problem is right. And I don't
know if like a lot of men field this way
is that there's always like you always feel like you
could do a lot more.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
Oh right, I don't know exactly how exactly what.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
You mean, you know.

Speaker 4 (35:22):
So so it's like, you know what what I'm doing
with myself, I'm kind of playing myself because I'm pushing
myself to like a certain expectation and then I'm not
beating it. So I'm getting mad at myself. I don't
know why I do it. That's a master that that
that is some masochistic ship by the way, right, And
it's like and and and it's like you know what,
like I end up like, you know, like kicking myself,

(35:44):
you know, but but as a good but but you know,
like you know, you know, like back to that day,
you know, like I did open up and like you know, speak,
I said what I felt because but then at the
same time too, is like it's like, you know what,
like I can't speak for every male out here, but
I can show speak for me that Sometimes it's like,

(36:07):
you know, like we'll be feeling something. We'll be feeling
like some way and we don't know how to express
it because it like, like I said, you know what,
I'm so used to like you know, keeping it all
a bout within that right, finding the words to you know.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
Speak on it. It's like it's like, let's call it.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
Trying to you know, I'm saying, it's like trying to
read Braille as a first time, you know, like it's
it's hard.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
So but as of late, you know, as of late.

Speaker 4 (36:41):
Like you know, like like you know, like I'll go
through the motions and then I'll think about it. I'm like,
all right, you know what this is how I'm feeling,
you know, and then like you know, I'll speak on it.
But this is after, you know, this is after like
you know, I went I went through, like you know,
the the motions of it.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
So so back to to to what I know how
you feel. I know where you're I know where you're going.
I know exactly what it is you're you're you're going
through because see my my, My take on this is that, look,
I was in a very very very long really this

(37:20):
is why this, this this email kind of hit home
for me because I was in a twenty twenty two,
twenty two year relationship and you know, I kind of
it's it's over. It's been over for a long time now.
And I had to do with this, with this dude

(37:41):
that's thinking about doing. I had to get up. I had.
It took me a while to realize that this this
isn't it, you know what I'm saying, And this is it,
you know what I mean. So the circumstances were a
bit differ because I knew for a long time it

(38:04):
was a rap, you know what I'm saying. I knew
for a long time it was a rap, and you
know it. And I and I stayed for different reasons,
and I I realized that I didn't have to, but
the father in me and the the person that that

(38:31):
didn't have what I didn't have growing up, wanted to
give what I didn't have to them. So I stood
a lot longer than I was supposed to that I
should have. And when I finally built up what I
needed to get out, I did and I came. I

(38:55):
came here and I was it was empty. There was
an echo that was I had a I came with
nothing but the clothes on my back. I had to
rebuild completely. And not that it was it was it
was really hard because I understand about the silence and

(39:19):
the the not not hearing things, and then the echoes
of of of of what's out there and the silence
and the anxiety and the pain and everything you whe
one thing after the other, you know what I'm saying.
And I went I literally went through that. I went

(39:41):
through that process, and I'm not going to front. Sometimes
I find myself pacing, I find myself puddling in my
fucking thumbs, like what am I doing? You know? And
it's lonely, lonely, hold on lone hold. The loneliness is
no fucking joke. Loneliness that that feeling and and that

(40:04):
that you get when you are alone and there's no
one here to talk to. I have I have the
dog where she's over there somewhere by the way. She's
looking at me right now with the side I like, yeah,
I know you're talking about me, but yeah, I have
the dogs. But I have the dog. But I mean

(40:26):
other than that, I have my kids, I have my grandkids,
and outside of that, you know what I'm saying. I mean,
it's tough, it's hard. It's the realization of loneliness, is
I mean, it is real. Yeah, the pain, the pain
is real, and you can't you can't. You can't escape

(40:48):
that feeling that you have inside, that emptiness you have inside,
you know, and you try your best to overcome that
by filling your time with things. But all you gotta
come home. You gotta come home, and you gotta face
the fact that there's no one here but the dog.

(41:08):
I know, I know, just I know, I know you're there,
I see you. But you gotta understand that loneliness is
a real thing, and and the struggle to find.

Speaker 4 (41:22):
The good thing there's also no there's also a good
thing though, Like like, you know, I'm sorry to cut
you off, you know what I'm saying, but.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Like, no, you're not. Can you do it all the time?

Speaker 4 (41:30):
I'm sorry, but you know what, I'm trying to buy
my tongue and I'm like, yo, but this is a
good thing, though, Bro, you come home. Yeah, there's nothing
that's quiet, but you're there's you know what I'm saying,
but there's one thing that you got that you probably
that you know, like this person who probably don't have right.

Speaker 3 (41:44):
Now, is a peace of mind.

Speaker 4 (41:48):
You know, like it's a peace of mind because like
it's silence, it's peace, you know what I'm saying. Like
some people don't understand with how important a peace of
mind is, you know what I'm saying, because like everyone's
so used to be miserably happy.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
See it's out of all right, So peace of mind.
Piece like I have. I have peace of mind, you
know what I'm saying. Like my my bills are paid,
the kids are good, the grandkids are good. You know
what I'm saying. The dog is chilling. I have, I
have piece of I have peace of mind, you know
what I'm saying. But as far as far as far

(42:24):
as I feel like what I feel, you know what
I'm saying. I mean, I have, I built, I built
my piece up, you know what I mean. My piece
is important to me. And I'm not gonna allow. I'm
not gonna allow oh theo ho we got, I'm not
gonna allow it's okay to come home to and and

(42:50):
that and that's true. It is absolutely it's absolutely true,
you can come home and and still feel lonely, because
that's what's going on me. Like I was, I'd be home,
I'd be in a house full of people and still
feel like what the fuck, Like like you know, I'm
by myself, I'm alone. They're miserable, you know, and people
people would actually that actually feel that need to go.

(43:16):
That's something you shouldn't have to tolerate to to come
home to a house full of people and still feel alone.
That's what that that's that's part of the reasons why,
like I knew, like it was time for me to be,
like I'm out, I gotta I gotta go. And you
want to all you want to hear something funny, let
me tell you something funny. She literally said to me,

(43:36):
like I said, I told her. I was like, Yo,
I'm out. I'm not going to tolerate this ship no more.
I'm out. And the first thing that came out out,
you know what it was, Yeah, you ain't going nowhere.
You believe that, you know why you believe that ship?
She she looked at me right there in my face,
she was like.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
I remember you told me that, And I was like,
but do you know why?

Speaker 2 (43:59):
She said that why because of who you are, you
did what you'd always done, so she she she knew
you weren't going anywhere because you had done it so
many other times and didn't follow through, and so this

(44:19):
time she didn't believe you were going anywhere, and then
you did.

Speaker 4 (44:22):
She just took it as an idol threat like like
the times man, but like you know, but but you
know what, I ain't gonna I ain't gonna lie, you know,
like when you told me that, you know, you know,
like I was like, I looked, remember I told you.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
I was like you sure you know?

Speaker 4 (44:37):
And he was like, yo, has to be done, and
and honestly like I don't you know, like you know,
like I don't like you know, like getting people's business
and stuff like that. But I was like, all right, man,
you know what I'm saying. And the next thing you
know it, he was like, yo, I'm out. I said,
what stop playing? He was like, I'm out. He's already
got couches coming over here, already found.

Speaker 3 (44:57):
I'm like, who whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa?

Speaker 1 (45:01):
Hold out man?

Speaker 4 (45:02):
You got what He's like, yeah, man about TV coming,
And I'm like, yo, what.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
I'm said I was out, I was out.

Speaker 4 (45:12):
You know what, you know what, you know what, I
was actually proud of you because like because you know what,
every person you know, I'm saying that every everybody has
a breaking point, right, and lord knows how many points
you know what I'm saying, how many times you know
you reached your breaking point.

Speaker 3 (45:27):
But you managed to like talk yourself out of it, you.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
Know, like fear of being alone?

Speaker 4 (45:35):
Yeah, yeah that too, that that that too, and you
know what, like I never not once that I ever
be like like, nah, man, you're punking yourself out.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
Noah, you know what, because like because like you know what,
in situations.

Speaker 4 (45:46):
Like that, you can't tell you know what I'm saying,
You can't antagonize them, you know what I'm saying. You
just be there for them, like you gotta let them
breathe and like, you know, figure out, you know, like
how like you know how they're going to make their
escape out, you know. And that takes time too, you
know because because anybody could talk about I'm leaving. You know,

(46:07):
in your mind you can talk about yeah, I'm out,
but your heart is always gonna bring you back.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
Yeah, but some people don't. But some people don't think
about the fact that sometimes when you don't leave, even
though you know it's not the right place, is has
nothing to do with that other person. It's because you
don't feel worthy, you don't feel like you're enough without them,
you don't. And that's the and and not for nothing.

(46:35):
I can't speak for for men, you know whatever.

Speaker 4 (46:38):
But but at this we go through that too.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
We just don't say nothing.

Speaker 4 (46:43):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, this is a good conversation, You're done.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Yeah, okay. Being a therapist for twenty years, uh and
and all the couples and things like that, I've seen
so many different dynamics, so many different types of marriages,

(47:10):
types of relationships, and and the thing is, most of
the time, the fear of being alone comes from someone's
lack of feeling like enough, good enough, you know, like
this is the best that I have had and I
I don't think I don't have enough confidence in myself

(47:32):
that I can do this by myself. When the truth is,
I think when you can actually spend that time with yourself,
when you can learn more about yourself, you actually start
you actually start saying to yourself. Because I've even said
it to myself A couple of times like how did
they put up with me? Right? Because we don't don't

(47:54):
We don't see ourselves the way other people see us.
You know, we're oblivious who we are on the outside
because our mind has always been our mind, and we
don't see what other people see. We just see us
being who we are, and it doesn't give ourselves an
opportunity to say, but I don't like that person.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
You know.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
I started to find that there were things about me
that I was like, oh crap, I don't like that
about me. Maybe I should change that, maybe, you know,
because I want something different. It's not for It's not
always about the other person. Sometimes you have to sit
there and say I keep having this and this and this, Well,

(48:40):
how about you sit in front of a mirror and
figure out why you keep doing or keep getting the
same thing. There's something about you Like my marriage. I
can't blame him, and I won't take all the blame.
It took both of us to get to that place.
So I can sit here. And we do that a lot,
especiallys or minorities in general, we do that and we

(49:04):
point the finger at all of the other person's shortcomings
and their errors and their mistakes. But we're not looking
at ourselves. What did what part did we have to
play in that? You know? What is it about me
that I could have changed? Right? And so it really

(49:27):
is a good opportunity, especially because it's so hard. If
we go through nothing, we will never come out on
the other side. We spend so much time ignoring. And
again we talk about this when we talk about COVID,
how people have spent especially minority groups, have been taught

(49:47):
so long to not show emotion, you know, to kind
of you. You know, a man can't cry. This is
a woman's job, you know, like all of these old
fashioned or at least old school, you know, uh roles,
gender roles, right, And I'm and and I rather enjoy

(50:08):
some of them, and so I still I still subscribe
to some of them because I enjoy that role. However,
we're not looking at how life has changed and how
as we get older we change, we need different things.
Life turns up tens. Let's not even go there. My knees, man,

(50:42):
my knees.

Speaker 4 (50:44):
If you listen, I got a lot of patches.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
I'll send you some.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
No, no, no, it's good because I do know I
can be long winded, but it just it comes from
the heart. It comes from from the the experiences absolutely,
you know, you know, seeing all of these different couples
and the things that they go through, you know, as minorities.
Mostly it's all about blaming the other person the truth.

(51:15):
How thanks, Jay, I love me too. And the funny
thing is, in my old age, I think this is
really the first time in my life, like these last
couple of years, that I love me too. You know,
I liked myself. I knew that I had worked hard
to get where I am, but I don't think I

(51:35):
loved myself, you know, And now I do. And the
funny thing is that loneliness that you're afraid of, the
fear of being alone, that you're afraid of what I
have found. And this is both men and women. When
you start to love you and see all the good,
be compassionate to yourself and give yourself credit not for

(51:59):
the things you didn't accomplished, but the things that you've
come through, the things that you have accomplished, all of
the hard hills you have climbed. Right when you can
sit back and actually take stock of that, you start
to realize your value, your worth, and then it becomes
so much easier to not choose the same type of people.

(52:24):
Real quick, let me let me share this story. It's
a good example of that. This morning this.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
V oh wait, wait, wait, wait wait, let me marshmallows.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Oh my gosh, this very morning. Okay, I got a
text from somebody I had not heard from in months.
Your Oh no, no, no no. I honestly don't think
I will ever hear from him again. But that's okay,

(52:58):
I'll stop. So anyway, this person contacted me and they
had ghosted me, right like it was just one day
they were here, the next day they were gone. And
it got to a point in my life like I've
been single six years now, I haven't, you know, since
my divorce, I haven't had a relationship, you know, And

(53:19):
so I've gone on dating sides. You know, I've tried.
It's just the funny thing is, as I got to
know myself better, as I got to realize what my
value was and that I don't have to wait for
other people to validate me to actually be valuable, right,
So I learned that, you know, a lot. After twenty
years of being a marriage and family therapist, I was

(53:42):
finally doing the work on myself that I have been
helping other people to do, and so this person contact me.
And the funny thing was, I wasn't even mad. I
wasn't even mad. My usual thing is kick rocks, lose
my number, you know whatever. The anger the anger that
people would do that. And the funny thing was he

(54:04):
actually said to me, he says, you know what, I
didn't think you were gonna answer me. And I was like,
uh yeah, because I realized that's who I am. I
will always answer if somebody is is contacting me, I
will always answer. But there was a difference. So, you know,
we talked for a couple of minutes back and forth,

(54:26):
and then he's like, oh, so I can take you
out to dinner. And if he's listening right now, you know,
I appreciate the opportunity to be able to discuss this.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
If he's listening right now, how big brothers, you ain't
taking how to funck nowhere? Bro, you shot and messed up.

Speaker 3 (54:43):
All right, But I right now you already know what
time it is. Man.

Speaker 4 (54:50):
My trunk space is huge. That's all I gotta say.
And I gotta shovel on the back. You know, you
know what Earth Day comes around once a year, but
it may come around twice, if you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
Oh goshop, I feel so special. So anyway, and he
was like, so I can still take you out and
blah blah blah. And I was like, you know what,
if that's what you want to do, I'm open to that.
I am open to whatever, I said. And he was like,
so it's a date, and I was actually I wrote back,

(55:24):
I said, oh no, no, no, I'm sorry. I would
you know, I can always use friends, you know, because
that keeps that boredom, that loneliness away, when you have
people that you can hang out with, go out with,
have new adventures with. I said. But no, no, no,
don't get me messed up. No, it won't be a date,
I said, because you had that opportunity and you totally

(55:47):
let it slip through your fingers. So I don't look back,
you know. Again, not trying to get religious, But when
Lot was told to leave and don't look back, his
wife looked back and turned and turned into ault. Let
me tell you something, I'm not gonna be no pillar assault.
If God wanted this person in my life, he would
have stayed in my life. So yeah, we can hang

(56:09):
out we could kick it. We can talk on the phone, text,
do whatever you like, because I can always use good friends,
you know, and he seemed like a good guy. But
I need someone I can depend on, I can I
need someone I can trust. And you've already, unfortunately, you've
already shown me that I can't depend or trust that

(56:29):
you're one stick around to do or stand on what
a man needs to do or stand on. And I
know my value, and my value is not to recycle,
you know, old situations, because then you're just staying in

(56:50):
the same pool and getting dirty. And a saying that
I found actually when I first got a divorce, it says,
when you give someone a second chance, it's like giving
them a gun, And it's like that because you're giving
them the opportunity to shoot you a second time because

(57:11):
the first bullet didn't kill you. So as women, I
can't speak a man experience, but as a woman, every
time we allow someone not to let us down, because
people disappoint us and let us down all the time.
But when you allow someone to disrespect you, minimize your value,

(57:33):
make you feel less then and then you continue to
play that same record again because they change the tune
you're basically giving yourself another ride on a horse that's
just gonna throw you off and you're gonna break the
other leg. So I got to a point in my

(57:55):
life where it says, I'm not gonna do that to myself.
You seem like a nice person, You're cool and everything,
but when it comes to what I need in my
life as a partner, you already showed me that I
can't depend on you as a partner. So I can't
do that to myself because when things really really get hard,

(58:16):
you already showed me that you're gonna run away. You know.
And for all the guys out there who you know,
they tell their women I need to deal with this
on my own because they say they don't want to
be a burden, and I'm and Dubbs, I'm talking about
people who really don't feel that way. They just use
those words idly. I don't want to be a burden

(58:37):
on you because they know that's the excuse. It's exactly that.
It's an excuse, because the truth is any man, and
I've seen it so many times, I just want my peace.
I just want a woman who's loyal. I want a
person who can love me and who can be my peace? Right, No,
you don't really want that, because if.

Speaker 4 (58:59):
You really want huh, you know you know what what
you were saying right now? You know what I'm saying,
Like like, yes, you know what I'm saying. That's what
dudes be saying. And I was like, meanwhile, back at
the ranch, yeah, everything that's opposite of Yes, yes, it's
called being narcissistic, by the way, and I used to
do that like crazy.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
I just but there's all right, there's a way to
handle the situation though, you know what I'm saying that.

Speaker 3 (59:29):
But then you know what, like I had others in the.

Speaker 2 (59:30):
Stables, yes, exactly, exactly, you got somebody in the wings.
So I had to learn. I had to learn to say,
I'm sorry, but I am not a placeholder. I am
not a placeholder until something better comes along. I'm actually
the whole meal and the dessert. Okay. Ten, I'm attend

(59:57):
in different ways than other women.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Out of ton what out a ton? Yeah, thirty for thirty.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
Okay, until you project peace, yes, And a lot of
times we call what we put out into the world.

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
So I also realized that one of the reasons why
I was attracting broken, emotionally unavailable men is because I
am so loving and so caring and so forgiving. I
am that that piece, that so called peace that men
are looking for. But the problem is, I need you

(01:00:38):
to be at peace when you come to me, just
like I need to be at peace when I come
to you. We can have our hurts, we can have
our pains, we can have our luggage right, our baggage.
But the thing is, I'm not the person who cuts you,
so you can't bleed on me. Ad.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
Yo's that's a dying right there. You just dropped some
dropping bonds, son.

Speaker 3 (01:01:04):
Real like you know what, you know what.

Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
That's like the equivalent of saying like you know, like
you know like sometimes sometimes you know, like back then
nights to tell like certain females. So I was like,
why are you treating that? Jesus Christ is like excuse me?
I was like, why am I being crucified for another
man's sins?

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
Unfortunately, because the world that we live in right now,
we keep complaining about other people's sins, but we're not
fixing it right. So it's the eye the eye for
an eye we're in, that canceled eye for an eye right.
So you got guys out here who want somebody who's
loyal some and even women. I want loyalty. I want this,

(01:01:44):
I want that. I want somebody cooks, cleans all this stuff. Okay, bro,
what are you offering that? Are you offering that? No?
So when somebody tells me I'm too much, I'm like,
you know what, that's okay, you can go get less
because I'm not asking any anything from you. I'm not
asking nothing from you that you are not going to

(01:02:05):
receive from me. So I want somebody who's going to
stand on their word. In my case, the person has
to have a relationship with God, not just knowing. But
that's my personal thing. But it's like, you can't be
asking for something when you're not giving that same thing.

(01:02:27):
They want women to stop being in their masculine energy. Well,
if I had a man who was helping me, I
wouldn't have to be. But when I've had to do
all of this stuff by myself, even when I was married.
When I have to do all of these things by myself,
I have to act like a man. So how are

(01:02:49):
you getting mad at me because you're not being the man?
I have to be.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
Both that that's a problem.

Speaker 3 (01:02:58):
It is.

Speaker 2 (01:02:59):
So I had to learn that if I don't change
my acceptance, if I don't change who I let into
my life, then I'm never going to change that dynamic.
So when a guy says to me, oh, you expect
me to pay, yes, I do, because if you want
me to be the lady and to be on your arm,
how am I going to be on your arm when

(01:03:19):
I got to pay for your meals? It has nothing
to do. It has nothing to do with me being
in your pockets, right, and nothing at all, because I
also gladly cook you that meal because you cut my grass.
I'll kiss you and and bring you water outside because

(01:03:40):
you're taking care of and keeping me safe, you know,
like it's it's a it's a reciprocal it's a given,
a take, not a take take take right when we
talk about this stuff all the time, some.

Speaker 4 (01:03:56):
Right, I'm sorry like speaking because like me, like I
feel off and weird when you know, like for instance,
my girlfriend pays for me, like it just feels like
like like I don't know what it's like like like
you know what, like I do, But.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
There's a time to do that though, doves. It's learning
for a woman to do that.

Speaker 4 (01:04:19):
You know, you know what I'm saying, and I be
feeling like you know what I'm saying, and I be
feeling bad man, and I'm like, bro, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:04:25):
What seeing see here's the thing, right you know, like
like you know.

Speaker 4 (01:04:33):
Maybe before you know, maybe before you know, like like
I would feel bad, but I just didn't care because
you know what, I didn't care about nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:04:40):
Like when I say nothing, like it was to the
point where I didn't care.

Speaker 4 (01:04:43):
I didn't care if I live to die, you know
what I'm saying, if I live to see the next
day or I die tonight, Like I just did not care.
Now that I'm older, and I see like you know,
like the Countless, like you know the books of my wrongs, right,
and like I'm more like you know, like mature if

(01:05:04):
you will, and like like everything is like more like
you know on a conscious level, right, you know what
I'm saying, Like this is why, like you know, I
feel like you know, like sometimes like like certain things
I keep to myself so I figure it, you know,
so I figure out how to word it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:19):
You see what I mean?

Speaker 4 (01:05:20):
Like you know, like I'm like, you know what, like
like before, I will always like keep things to myself,
and then they'll build ups and other things and other
things to the point where it's like like let's just say,
you know, like my lady will step on my sneaker.
I'll get mad over that, like, Yo, what the hell
bro this? Thatand the third blah blah blah blah blah blah.
But that's from that, that's from like, you know, stuff

(01:05:42):
that the frustrations that's been building within myself because of
because the things that are not in my control that
you know what, Now I'm starting, you know, like now
I'm starting to open up and like speak on things.
But like sometimes like you know, like I have to
take a step back because like I have to, like,
you know, I want to make sure that I worded
the way that you know, I want to word it

(01:06:02):
that best exemplifies like how I feel.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
But that's that's a good example, dubs. Since when in
our society did getting our sneakers step th on become
more important than our partner?

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
You know? You know, when when.

Speaker 4 (01:06:19):
Trump put the terrifts on the sneakers And I'm saying
when when like everything like everything build up, you know,
like and that's and not out ten times is it's
you know, like I can't speak, like I said, I
can't speak for every man out here, but I can
speak on my experience, like is that I've been frustrated
with certain things and I'm watching you know, and and

(01:06:43):
I'm watching my you know, my lady you know do
and my hands are tied and it's like, and don't
sit right with me.

Speaker 2 (01:06:51):
So it's like it's she signed that she signed up
as that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:57):
Yes she did, yes she did. But it's like but
it's like, you know what, there's.

Speaker 2 (01:07:01):
No butt, if that's what I'm saying. People always find
the exceptions to the rules. When someone makes a conscious
choice to be in a relationship with you, marriage, whatever
it is. They're literally telling you, I'm signing up for
your stuff because when my stuff goes down, you trust

(01:07:24):
and believe you better be there for me.

Speaker 4 (01:07:26):
But see, there is a butt in a way, because like, yes,
I want to do more, you can do more.

Speaker 2 (01:07:33):
But if you stop believing and trust again, your partner
is supposed to be your family. You know, we leave
our mothers and our fathers to join with another person
and multiply and fill the world.

Speaker 3 (01:07:50):
Right absolutely, you.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
The person that shares your bed and your home with
You should know more about you and what makes you
tick than your friends, than the rest of your family,
because that is supposed to be your other half, that
is the person that you, guys, have chosen to spend
your life with. However, as a society, we're keeping secrets

(01:08:19):
from them. We're not telling them what makes us happy,
what pleases us, because we're afraid of their judgment. And
the truth is, it's better to find out in the
beginning by giving them all that you are so that
they can make their choice whether they can live with
it or not, then holding on to this stuff. I've

(01:08:40):
had people who I know genuinely, genuinely cared about me
and the dating or whatever it was ended because they
didn't want to be a soul called burden to me,
and they hid parts of themselves from me knowing who

(01:09:01):
I was, so they hid parts of themselves from me
just so that I wouldn't leave them because I thought
it was too hard. So first they didn't give me
the adult consideration to make my own choices, so they
hid things from me. And then when I did, when
I did find out about those things later because they

(01:09:23):
could no longer hide them, it wasn't even that I
was upset. I would not have even left had I
known those things in the beginning. What made me leave,
no hold on, What made me leave was the fact
that you lied about it, that you hid it from me.
And now I have to pay the consequences for that,

(01:09:47):
because now you got me all wrapped up and didn't
give me all the information that I required to be
able to make that educated and loving decision for myself.
Guess what by you keeping that from me, you just
guaranteed what you were trying to prevent. Because the right

(01:10:09):
person will.

Speaker 3 (01:10:10):
Stay, you know why? Right?

Speaker 4 (01:10:13):
Well, I can't, like I said, I can't speak for
every man out here, but I can speak There was
always at one time, right that you know, like we
show the person, you know, we showed the woman like
who we really were, and they took it, took advantage
of it, ran with it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:33):
Because they were not the right.

Speaker 3 (01:10:36):
Person exactly exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:10:38):
And so you're gonna make the right person suffer or
you're not gonna find the right person. Can I explain?

Speaker 3 (01:10:45):
Can I explain? Please? Because hand my hand up, Let
me explain.

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
Let me explain, like you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:53):
Like, from my from my experience, like all of that
was take me. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:10:58):
All it was was once and that was wrong, you know,
you know, like hindsight is twenty twenty. That was completely wrong, right,
And I was always like, nah, man, never again, never again,
you know, and that you know what, And I heard
a lot you know what, you know what some women
you know what I'm saying, like, no one deserves to
get hurt.

Speaker 3 (01:11:17):
So like I hurt a lot of people, you.

Speaker 4 (01:11:19):
Know, I believe I hurt a lot of people, and
you know, like I feel bad for that, you know,
all because of one person. And all it took was
one person to like have me thinking like in a
different tone. And it took a while. It took a while,
right to like, you know, like re educate myself because

(01:11:43):
like when you're alone, you know, like there's so many
things you could do, but re educating yourself and getting
like you said again, to know yourself at the end
of the day, and re educating who you really are
now now who you were like fifteen years ago.

Speaker 3 (01:11:57):
Whatever is price.

Speaker 4 (01:12:00):
So that's the reason why, like you know now, like
you know, in my cour relationship that I'm in, I
try to be more you know more vocal. I try,
you know, like I speak from the heart regardless, but
like you know what, like certain things like like this
week when when you know, like I showed you guys,
you know, like the little procedure they did and how
like you know, like I was happy for five days

(01:12:22):
and the next thing, you know, you know, like since
it was a trial run, like you know, it was
over and went back to like you know, like being
a pain, Like the pain came back like more, and.

Speaker 3 (01:12:33):
You know, like you know, it messed with me.

Speaker 4 (01:12:35):
And I don't want to tell my girl that, you
see what I'm saying because like because like you know what,
like I see her all the time, like you know,
like you know, like she's always like you know, she's
she's an awesome person man, you know, like she's always
doing this, and I'm like.

Speaker 2 (01:12:48):
Yo, you know what, But then you're showing her that
you don't trust her with that.

Speaker 4 (01:12:53):
No, no, no, no, no, you know what it's like,
it's like, yeah, you know what, you know what like
you you know, like I know, I know from a
place where it's coming from. But and the outside for
what you're telling me, that's what it looks like. If
that's what it looks like and I'm taking your word
for it, then you know what, but it's not intentional, you.

Speaker 3 (01:13:12):
Know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:13:13):
It's like it's your ego.

Speaker 4 (01:13:16):
And you know what, and I just say that, and
I just say that it was my pride ego like
like like see like you know, and and like you know,
like and I got yelled at and she and you know,
she just says she she was like, she's like, what's
that hard.

Speaker 3 (01:13:33):
I'm like, I'm like yeah, I'm like yeah, I'm like, yo,
you know what I'm trying.

Speaker 4 (01:13:37):
Like, you know, I'm like, I'm coming from a person
who used to be like, yo, I'll swallow my own
blood before I swallow my pride, right to a person
that's like trying to really swallow his pride ego.

Speaker 3 (01:13:49):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:13:50):
And as of right now, let you run the ship
as of right now, you know, because like you know,
like financially, you know what I'm saying, you know, like
you know, we're living you know, up until further notice.

Speaker 3 (01:14:04):

Speaker 4 (01:14:05):
When the further notice happened, you know, like then it's
gonna be an us thing right as if it's not
us right now.

Speaker 3 (01:14:11):
But it's like they're not you know, like I was.

Speaker 4 (01:14:13):
Then the reason why I say it's gonna be an
us thing because like I feel like I could do
a lot more.

Speaker 3 (01:14:17):
You see what I'm saying. And it's like and it's like,
you know what, like you're so.

Speaker 2 (01:14:22):
Busy trying to do a lot more, you're not enjoying
what you already have done.

Speaker 3 (01:14:26):
Exactly, Baz, you know what.

Speaker 4 (01:14:30):
No, you know what, you know what and see and
this is me, you know what I'm saying, swallowed my
pride and admitting to it because she's right, you know, like.

Speaker 3 (01:14:39):
Like you know, like for instance, period.

Speaker 4 (01:14:45):
For instance, right for instance, let me let me say,
for instance, I'm with my daughter every day, and I
will look at it. No, I'm not not now I'm
saying that though, Like first, I'm with my daughter every day,
and like I don't look at it like you know,
I look at it as you know I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:15:02):
Sometimes I look at it as nothing.

Speaker 4 (01:15:03):
But like since she's just say that, you know what
I'm saying, I'm like, yo, you know what, I'm with
her every day.

Speaker 3 (01:15:08):
You know what I'm saying. We're you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:15:10):
We're doing this we're doing that every day together, you
know what I'm saying, Like, I have a relationship with
my baby girl.

Speaker 2 (01:15:15):
And do you know how many fathers can never say
that you get to witness and experience the first that
your girl can't.

Speaker 1 (01:15:25):
That's why Sky and I are so close.

Speaker 3 (01:15:30):
Yo yo yo yo yo yo. What my bad.

Speaker 4 (01:15:34):
I'm just getting a little emotional, man like I don't
even care, man like, like you know, yeah, men cry,
all right, so whatever?

Speaker 1 (01:15:40):
Man, So what I what I wanted to say was
about this relationship thing and about peace and about all
the other stuff and about bringing baggage from one relationship
to another or whatever. At our age, not that we're old,
but at our age, men and women have to understan
stand that life doesn't start for your partner when you

(01:16:04):
get together. They have a whole lifetime of experiences and
heartache and successes and they bring that with them. So
you can't expect someone to come into your life.

Speaker 2 (01:16:19):
They just shouldn't be making you unpack the bag, that's all.

Speaker 1 (01:16:23):
Yeah, that's that. That's what That's what I'm saying. Like
you you you you can't expect someone to come into
your life without baggage. That we're not in fucking grade school,
in high school and shit anymore. You know what I'm saying,
We're grown to ass people, and when we're grown to
ask people comes baggage, you know what I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:16:42):
Saying, years of it.

Speaker 1 (01:16:44):
And exactly years of it. So a person, a person
can't expect you to come into expect you to come
into their life with a brand new sleep. No, it
doesn't work that way. It's not one of those draw
and peel because we used to have back and that's
just schedule. You can shake the shit out of it
and fucking you know what I'm saying and start over again. Yeah, yeah,

(01:17:09):
you can't. You just that's not what life is. That's
not what relationships are. There's always gonna be. Yeah, it's
always gonna be. There's always gonna be something there, and
it's up to the both of you to work through
these things together.

Speaker 2 (01:17:22):
Right, and you should come with some type of healing,
some type of resolution to that previous stage. But it's
always going to be a part of you, you know,
Like you just can't make other people feel punished for
what other people have done. However, it's still an experience

(01:17:43):
you had and it's still valid feelings, right, but the
right person will want to work through that with you
and let you know how it makes them feel, instead
of just getting all up in their panties like, oh,
you're doing this and you're doing that, and you're doing
too much. You know what, Then you can move. Let

(01:18:04):
me tell you something. I can be miserable all by myself.
I don't need a partner to do that.

Speaker 4 (01:18:10):
Sometimes, No, yes you do, because if it's miserable, and
then there's like an extra level miserable, you know what
I'm saying, the top miserable.

Speaker 3 (01:18:18):
I'm just I'm just joking.

Speaker 4 (01:18:19):
I'm just joking, joking now, But you're right though, like like,
but see, you know what the thing is too, I mean,
like and you know what I'm saying. I believe that
everyone you know what I'm saying is smart from one
way or another, you know. And I think we can
all agree that learning is indeed a gift, because not
that many people learn, and I think we could and

(01:18:39):
I think I think we could all agree that pain.
Pain is a teacher, regardless of what you know, like
whether it's whether it's physical pain, you know, like pain
changes people, you know, but it's also but you know
what the thing is this is what a learning part
comes into play, because like you learn from the pain,
you don't, you know, like and like that. And that's
the mistake that us men, that's the mistake that we

(01:19:01):
don't do, is that we don't learn from the paint.
We rather you know, saying distributed back on the next
person or something like that. You know, I mean that's
you know what scratch, that's people in general. That's just
you know, like, oh this person hurt me, someone.

Speaker 2 (01:19:14):
Hurt themb you know, like like you know, or the
right one comes along in your life and because someone
else hurts you, you tell this new right person, I'm
never gonna be vulnerable like that again. Come on, then
that means from the door you're telling me. Then from
the door, you're telling me that you were never going
to be totally mine because someone else violated the trust

(01:19:39):
that you had in them. So now you're never going
to allow yourself to trust anyone else.

Speaker 1 (01:19:45):
So what's going with bars?

Speaker 4 (01:19:48):
But see that word never, you know what I'm saying,
because like I got so used to being single. I'm like,
you know, like and I remember I told you, and
I'm like I'm never getting back in a relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:20:00):
You can't use absolutely.

Speaker 3 (01:20:03):
I use that word. I'm never getting back relationship.

Speaker 1 (01:20:05):
Man, I'm having to hold on, hold up reading. You
gotta read this one.

Speaker 2 (01:20:11):
It needs to be said, Lady g You hit home
on pretty much everything you were talking about, scary, traits,
more amazing. I need you in my life asat well.
Send me some emails. I'll be there. Yes, I'm gonna

(01:20:31):
start having a little segment on here where it's gonna
be like, Okay, so we're gonna do this and this
and this like a dear abby and then we go
with the show doctor.

Speaker 3 (01:20:46):
You know what I'm saying, And you.

Speaker 2 (01:20:51):
Know what's so funny? Jay uh Again. I talked from
my heart, I talked from experience, I talked from my professor,
I talk just all of these things. But in the
world that we live in now, people are so afraid
of this truth that I'm still single six years later.

(01:21:12):
But that's okay because mine is coming.

Speaker 3 (01:21:16):
I believe how John Nicholson said it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
You get the truth, and unfortunately that is the truth.
People shy away from the mirror in front of them
because as much as they say they want the real one,
they want the transparent one. They want honesty. They don't
really want that. They want the honesty that makes them

(01:21:41):
look good, makes them feel good, and makes them feel secure.
Only the only real way to go about something is
let somebody tell you how they experience you, how they
see you, so that you can start a conversation with
them about how we can change together. It's not about

(01:22:01):
what you can do, it's not about what he can do.
It's about this is how you experienced me, but this
is what you give me, So let's talk about what
we can do together to change that, to change that.

Speaker 3 (01:22:17):
You know what?

Speaker 4 (01:22:17):
Excuse me, I wish I had a sound word because
I would have droped the bomb on that one, that
funk flex bomb.

Speaker 3 (01:22:25):
Nah. But like, you know, where's the lie? You know?

Speaker 2 (01:22:29):
Like, yeah, the only one, the truth that accommodates them exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:22:34):
You see.

Speaker 4 (01:22:35):
You know what the you know, the problem is that
most of these people out here, you know, they're talking
about the you know, oh, I won't just keep it
real with me.

Speaker 3 (01:22:43):
Yeah, they're being real. We'll keep it real with you.

Speaker 4 (01:22:47):
Meanwhile, you're out here pranting around barely keeping it realistic. Yeah,
so it's like what type of real you're talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:22:56):
Well, damn woof.

Speaker 4 (01:22:59):
You know, like because because you know what because you
because because you know what you know, Like like I
was complaining to you guys, you know, to be a
text like this week is I was that you know
that person, right, you know, and then like about things
going back to normal.

Speaker 3 (01:23:20):
But what is like you know what what what's normal?
You know? Like my normalcy right now.

Speaker 2 (01:23:26):
Is it's different. It's different for everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:23:28):
You know, Like so perception of reality is different than
everybody too.

Speaker 4 (01:23:33):
Yeah, you know so Like at the same time, though,
it's like there's a common ground that you know that
you know what I'm saying, Like you guys can meet
and keep it, you know what I'm saying and make
that your reality, both your reality.

Speaker 2 (01:23:46):
And so I've also had people say, oh when they
ask hold on, it's the people they say, I'm so
real that their face is real. People don't preach real,
show it exactly. They don't talk about it. They be
about it. And I forgot what I was gonna say,
But keep talking, dubs, because then it'll come back to me.

Speaker 3 (01:24:11):
Yes, Like so, so like last night I took an explain.

Speaker 1 (01:24:15):
Your hold on. I got a question, I got a
good question. I got a good question.

Speaker 4 (01:24:19):
Oh, I was about to jump off the you know
what I'm saying, jump off on subject real quick to
tell you what my hold.

Speaker 1 (01:24:24):
On I got. I got this. This is a question.
This is a relationship question. So the question is there
a such thing as unconditional love?

Speaker 3 (01:24:38):
Absolutely no.

Speaker 2 (01:24:41):
Only one person can provide you unconditional love and you
can't see them. That's it. Because human beings, we have conditions.
It's not like everybody, but there's always a condition even that.

Speaker 1 (01:24:58):
Makes it, that makes it contracts. It doesn't make it. It
doesn't make it unconditional.

Speaker 2 (01:25:03):
Contractual, no, it makes it conditional.

Speaker 1 (01:25:06):
No, it makes it contract If there are conditions on
your love, it makes it a contractual agreement. That doesn't
make it unconditional.

Speaker 2 (01:25:14):
That's what I'm saying. There is no unconditional love, But
I wouldn't say that it's contractual, because all right, the
closest thing that I think comes to what we would
consider is as an unconditional love would be a parent's
love and a child's love towards each other. That's what

(01:25:35):
I think is the closest that we could ever come
to unconditional because for the most part, and of course
there are always exceptions to the rules because we see
it every day in the news. However, there is still
a condition on how we express that love and how

(01:25:57):
you know, like with kids, especially teens, they have that
unconditional so called love for their parents because you know,
my daughter tells me all.

Speaker 1 (01:26:06):
The time, it's unconditional love.

Speaker 2 (01:26:10):
No, that's conditional too.

Speaker 4 (01:26:11):
This is yeah, you know what, you know what you want.

Speaker 2 (01:26:16):
As long as you.

Speaker 1 (01:26:19):
Exactly ivy, tell her, tell her, tell her how much
you love me.

Speaker 2 (01:26:27):
She's like, said that she didn't love you conditional.

Speaker 1 (01:26:33):
Leave me alone.

Speaker 3 (01:26:34):
She's like, yeah, she looks like a hostage. You're a danger.

Speaker 2 (01:26:45):
Gosh, oh, I remember what my thought was. I was
gonna I was gonna say that there is you know.
The guys are like, oh, you want too much, right,
you want the fairy tale love? Right. The thing is,
and people never think about this, there is such thing
as fairy tale love. I believe in fairy tale love. Now,

(01:27:05):
it's not the Cinderella fairy tale. It's not the snow
white fairy tale. A fairy tale love is a love
that you put work into to create, to be the
way you want to be and makes you happy. So
with two people in a relationship there can actually be

(01:27:26):
your fairy tale love, because your fairy tale is what
you write, and as long as you're both in agreement
with that, you live that fairy tale type of life.
And so some people's fairy tale life looks like somebody
that's not gonna be drinking, smoking, beating me. And that's
my fairy tale that I can live a life without

(01:27:46):
those three things. That's possible. Somebody else's fairy tale life
is I can love you, I can marry you, but
we don't need to live together. You can live across
the street and I live over here. I got my house,
you got your house. But we're married and we're living apart.

Speaker 3 (01:28:02):
And we get what was that the married?

Speaker 2 (01:28:07):
Because marriage is not just about living together. It's about commitment.
It's about a different type of love. It's a love
that it doesn't matter where you live. I'm still going
to be this person for you. And I've seen it,
oh man, I didn't believe it. When that stuff all
first started coming out. It was called uh, being married

(01:28:29):
loving separately, right, And I have seen that work for
some people.

Speaker 3 (01:28:36):
I was about to ask you that.

Speaker 2 (01:28:38):
Yes, and they were one of the happiest couples that
I have ever seen, and when they first came to me,
they weren't living separately. Yes, it's about going on the journey,
and especially when you get into the older ages like us. Again,
you need something different. So if I were to say

(01:28:58):
right now in my life, yes, do I want to
love again.

Speaker 3 (01:29:01):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:29:02):
Do I want to get married again? Yes? But do
I want a man living in my house? No? Do
I want somebody that I need to cook for every
single day without fail, No? But I do want to
give and and and and provide everything that they need.
We can spend you know, I spend weekends over there

(01:29:24):
and they spend the week over here. Like I'm just
throwing out stuff. This is not where I'm really at.

Speaker 1 (01:29:29):
But uh, I was gonna say it. Why wouldn't you
want to live with your husband?

Speaker 2 (01:29:34):
Well, again, I only have one experience with a husband,
and I don't want to do that, Like I don't
want to live through that again. But I also have
to follow my own advice and I can't treat everybody
else like my ex.

Speaker 4 (01:29:49):
But I see this is what this is what I
you know, just what we were discussing earlier about having
You know, I'm saying one person paying for another person's.

Speaker 2 (01:29:57):
Since right, That's what I said. But they were so
happy only because as a couple they did really well together.
But living together created a situation for both of them
that was like they just they didn't stop loving each other,

(01:30:20):
They didn't get mad or whatever. They just could not
do it. They could not do it. But they did
buy houses right next to each other, so it was
like free for all. They even put a door in
They put a door in between the houses and they
were free to go back and forth. But he had
his space, and part of that was because she was

(01:30:42):
a hoarder and he was hold on, hold on, and
he was I don't know if he was a germophobe.
So we're talking two total opposites who loved each other,
had the same goals in life, loved each other immensely,
but they could not function, like literally function in each

(01:31:05):
other's spaces. So they did this. It was supposed to
be an experiment, but it ended up being wonderful for
them because she felt safe and secure in her space
with all of her things, and he felt safe and
secure in his sanitary situation. But they still loved each other,

(01:31:26):
and they still came together, still lived his husband and wife.
She still cooked, but she had to cook in his house.
He still like cuddled and all that, had sex and whatnot,
but he had to do that in her house because
he couldn't do it in his house. So we can't
judge every book by our story. People's stories look different,

(01:31:49):
and what works for one doesn't work for everybody. Yeah,
but it worked for them.

Speaker 4 (01:31:55):
That's like that, Like that's like being Polly and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:32:00):
You know, Like you know, we.

Speaker 1 (01:32:03):
Can't we can't talk about the poly because exprais in
here tonight.

Speaker 4 (01:32:09):
Yeah, but I'm just saying though, like like like like
you know what, it works for some and you know,
like like me personally, it wouldn't work because you know what, No,
it just wouldn't work because no, like and.

Speaker 2 (01:32:21):
I mean I can't I can't say never. I can't
say never because I've never experienced it. However, I also
imagine I wouldn't be good at that either because I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:32:33):
Like saying her yeah, and I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:32:36):
Not trying to get nobody else's stuff, no, exactly, Like
see that's the reason why like me, like on a
personal level, like I can't do it.

Speaker 3 (01:32:43):
I mean, it works for some people. But but you.

Speaker 4 (01:32:46):
Know, like like I've seen people that you know, like
you know, like when you know, all in on polygamous
relationships and ruined their ruined their relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:32:54):
Yeah, that's because I think one of them may have
not truly been into that. They just did it for
the sake of the other person. To do that, that
is something that you both have to actually believe and commit.

Speaker 3 (01:33:11):
Ye you know doubt you know, like no, like I
can't do that personally.

Speaker 1 (01:33:17):
Well you know that's yeah, that's what it is, Man's
that's exactly what it is. I mean, love love, love
is out there for everybody, it.

Speaker 2 (01:33:32):
Is, and you know what, it's out there for everybody.
Unfortunately for some people it takes longer than others. And
again I start telling people, I'm like, dude, if you're
not serious about me, get out my door because you're
blocking my husband's way.

Speaker 3 (01:33:48):
I have a question.

Speaker 4 (01:33:49):
Yes, when you're doing your job and like you know,
you're speaking to people, right, and I'm pretty.

Speaker 2 (01:33:55):
Sure, well I do a different job now.

Speaker 4 (01:33:59):
Yeah, because you know, you know, you moved on up
to the east, but like you know, like when you
were doing your job before, right, and like you're sitting
in and I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 3 (01:34:08):
I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 4 (01:34:09):
That you know, like everybody was like you know, like
the majority of people were explaining their proms and like
you were like you know, and like they were dancing around,
you know, the main.

Speaker 3 (01:34:21):
Issue of like them not loving themselves enough?

Speaker 4 (01:34:26):
Right, Like, what what is the you would say that
that you know that was the problem?

Speaker 3 (01:34:35):
All right?

Speaker 2 (01:34:35):
You cut out for a second, So what is it
what I would say?

Speaker 3 (01:34:38):
All right?

Speaker 4 (01:34:38):
Like what was the percentage of you know, of like
the people that you know danced around the problems, but
you figured it out that it was them not loving
themselves enough?

Speaker 3 (01:34:50):
Like what, like, what would be the percentage of like,
you know, like.

Speaker 2 (01:34:54):
People because they didn't love themselves.

Speaker 3 (01:34:56):
Exactly eighty ninety I will say that I'm discussing.

Speaker 2 (01:35:07):
No, I wouldn't even make it that high. No, because
there are the funny thing is there are really healthy
healthy what would you call it? It's like healthy dysfunctional marriages.

(01:35:27):
There are where the issue is something so tiny and
so easy that they overlook it daily. Right, So if
they just worked on one issue, it ended up making
the biggest difference, And then you have the others where
there's just too many issues that even as someone who

(01:35:52):
believes in marriage and why I got into marriage and
family therapy, there are just some relationships that you have
to let them go. You got if you don't get divorced,
if you don't leave each other, either one of you
is gonna die or both of you are just going
to be so, so, so miserable. Right, it's because we're

(01:36:16):
not We are not and this is going on now,
and this is we're not dating intentionally, we're not getting
married intentionally. We're allowed. Yeah, I was talking to somebody
the other day, so I was, I mean, I'm not

(01:36:36):
really messing with that stuff too much anymore. But like
I was on a dating site, right, and said, the
amount of people, I'm telling you, it's just crazy. It's crazy.
It is crazy. So you got people who are on
there who are married just looking for hookups. You got

(01:36:58):
people who are married and they're looking for a third.
You've got the single people, especially Latino websites. You got
the people who are looking for their papers. You know,
like there's just so many different reasons why people are
looking for each other. And so one guy, he contacted me,

(01:37:21):
and you know, we were talking for a day or so,
and he he asked me, you know, what are you
hoping to find on the site? What's what's this? What's that?
And so I said, well, the truth is, being on
the site, I'm not expecting to find anything. I'm here
meeting new people. My hope is that maybe I'll create

(01:37:48):
a friendship that turns into it forever. That's my hope.
But I don't come here expecting to find anything. The
only thing I expect to find is a conversation. But
I didn't always feel that way. In the very very
very beginning, I was there because I'm looking for a partner,

(01:38:09):
and I was in like kind of like our first
person that was senting sending the email, the fear of
being alone was so high that it was like I
was willing to accept whoever gave the most interest, you know,
just willing to accept whatever was offered, right because it
wasn't a whole lot being offered. But again, when you

(01:38:30):
start to love you and you start to see your
value and what you bring to the table, you also
learn that you deserve what it is that you want
and need. So this person's talking to me, and the
conversation was going, well, you know, he's got kids. He's
active with his children. And I don't really know how
we got into the conversation, but at the end I

(01:38:53):
found out that he was married, not too like he
told me he was married before or but that he
had gotten a divorce. Well, in our conversation, it also
turns out that he had someone like a friend or
something who was from the Dominican Republic, and he she

(01:39:13):
was gonna she was telling him how she was gonna
marry somebody and pay him, you know, because she needed
her papers or whatever. And I don't know what possessed him,
but he and he said he had no feelings for her,
like he didn't love her, nothing like that, but that
he had preferred to help her then to allow her

(01:39:33):
to go ask a total stranger. So he married her
to help her, to help her out. Right. But the
thing is, by him doing that, I could I could
have been probably his dream come true. Who knows or
vice versa. Right, But as soon as he told me

(01:39:54):
he was married, he could have explained to me that
she was in West Booty. I don't care the fact
that he was married. It didn't matter why he was married,
who she was, the fact that he was married right
there stopped my conversation with him.

Speaker 3 (01:40:14):
Shut everything down.

Speaker 2 (01:40:15):
H Yes, because my thing is, first of all, first
and foremost, I will not do to people what people
have done to me. I won't.

Speaker 3 (01:40:27):
That's what makes you a good person, you.

Speaker 2 (01:40:28):
Know that, right, Yes, But good people often hurt the most.
But that's okay because my gift is not here on
earth anyway. So whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:40:38):
So I like that reference, by the way, yep.

Speaker 2 (01:40:44):
What would you would you say?

Speaker 1 (01:40:45):
Coles?

Speaker 3 (01:40:48):
I like that, I like I like that. I like
that reference, by the way. That was very continue.

Speaker 2 (01:40:58):
Yeah, and and and the thing is, like again, it
used to hurt me to feel that way, like I
want to. People want to be liked, they want to
be loved, they want to be cared about. But the
truth is, what good is all of that when we
live in a world that people are stabbing each other
in the back anyway? So what's the point? Like with work,
people are so busy trying to make that money that

(01:41:20):
they're not thinking about the fact that they're killing themselves
for a job that would replace them in a heartbeat.

Speaker 3 (01:41:27):
Right, you know. I told my brother that and he
got mad at me and stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:41:32):
No, we're so busy trying to make a living that
we forget to make a life.

Speaker 1 (01:41:36):
So Yo, she's on point tonight, bro, Well what.

Speaker 2 (01:41:42):
I'm usually allowed?

Speaker 3 (01:41:44):
I do?

Speaker 2 (01:41:44):
Let me stop.

Speaker 4 (01:41:46):
It's Sunday, Yes, definitely, definitely.

Speaker 2 (01:41:51):
So the guy's telling me, he's like, but we're not together,
like and you know, I said, well, are you getting
a divorce like within the next month or so. He's like, well, no,
because she's going through her process. Blah blah blah. I
was like, all right, well, I'm just gonna let you
know this. It's not that I don't like talking to you.
I think you're an attractive man. I think you're nice.
I love how you are with your kids. I said,

(01:42:13):
but point blank is you are legally married to somebody.
And for me that I don't care if you've been
separated for twenty years you are still legally married, because
then what happens if I decide I want to run
away with you and go get married. We can't. We
can't because you're already legally married. And I can't and

(01:42:34):
I can't truly open myself up to you, let myself
go to you, because what if one day she decides
to come back. Legally, you belong in that relationship right,
so you can never truly be a part of my life.
And again, because I want to date intentionally, I want

(01:42:55):
an intentional friendship. I want an intentional relationship. I want
to make sure building something together and not just fitting
people as pieces into the life that already exists. No,
I guess I have a happy, pieceful life. But if
and when my other, my puzzle piece, comes along, I
can't expect him to fit himself into my life. And

(01:43:19):
I don't want to just be a piece fitting into
somebody else's life.

Speaker 1 (01:43:23):
I need I tell you what, I'm not getting married
and have my wife lived somewhere else neither.

Speaker 3 (01:43:29):
That's okay, you know what, that's the damn sure.

Speaker 2 (01:43:34):
But again to each like everybody has their needs, their
wants and their desires.

Speaker 1 (01:43:38):
As far as he goes into the she shed, that's it,
she's going.

Speaker 2 (01:43:49):
What did you say?

Speaker 1 (01:43:50):
He said the kitchen.

Speaker 2 (01:43:55):
That's when I that's when you turn me off. Man.

Speaker 3 (01:43:58):
No, No, I'll just playing.

Speaker 4 (01:44:00):
I'm just playing, just playing like like like, yo, you
know what I can't like for instance, for instance, right,
you know, like you're saying we're friendship and everything.

Speaker 3 (01:44:09):
That's how That's how my lady is.

Speaker 2 (01:44:13):
I want one person that I don't need to call
nobody else to talk about my stuff, to ask their
their their input, because I have that person. I have
that person there who is not gonna he's gonna listen
and not judge. Right, We're gonna listen and not judge and.

Speaker 3 (01:44:32):
Drop that draw or or or or you know what.

Speaker 4 (01:44:36):
You know what if it's if there's judgment involved, you
know what I'm saying, it's not.

Speaker 3 (01:44:40):
But I can't say judgment, constructive criticism.

Speaker 1 (01:44:45):
Input input of course.

Speaker 4 (01:44:48):
All right, all right, you know what, lady, do you
have a question? You know what I'm saying because like
because like I already asked you this question, but I
need the females, a woman of you know what I'm saying,
A woman's input.

Speaker 3 (01:45:02):
A woman high intelligence, yes, input.

Speaker 2 (01:45:06):
So and I didn't realize that scares people away from.

Speaker 3 (01:45:09):
Me too, you know what?

Speaker 4 (01:45:13):
You know what in all honesty, like the fact that
you're that you're a therapist. You know what I'm saying
that you know.

Speaker 3 (01:45:19):
That right there?

Speaker 2 (01:45:19):
I try not to tell you what I.

Speaker 4 (01:45:21):
Do, but but you know what they're gonna know anyways,
by the way you convey you you know what I'm
saying the way you convey your words and the way
you talk, they're gonna know.

Speaker 2 (01:45:30):
There's this. I don't know if you guys have seen.

Speaker 1 (01:45:32):
It, but there's because.

Speaker 2 (01:45:36):
It's a real, real that's going on on Facebook right
where the guy says, well, even on Instagram whatever, but
it's a real It's like a cartoon reel where the
guy and the girl are on the phone and he says,
I'm done when she starts sounding like h R right.
And so somebody said that to me. Somebody sent it

(01:45:58):
to me, and I watched it. I watched it, and no, lie,
after I finished watching it, I was crying it up.
So I was like, so are you telling me? I
imagine that's how people feel when they're talking to me.
So the guy calls the woman up and he's like, hey, baby,
it's been a while, why ain't you call me? And
she immediately goes on to the thing and says, well,

(01:46:20):
as per our last conversation, sir, you stated that you
were not looking for a full time position, and we
are offering a full time position. You said you were
looking for a part time position and we are not
hiring for a part time position. And then you hear
some dude in the background at her place talking about
come sit on it again or something like that, and

(01:46:41):
the dude is like, Yo, who's that sir? You stated
you are not looking for a full time position. So
we put the we put the ad out advertising a
full time position, and that is one of our applicants.
And due to his and he is interested in a
full time position, and based on his performance, he is

(01:47:03):
probably going to get the full time position. So I
thank you very much for your interest. However, good luck
with your future endeavors. However, the position has been felled.
And then she hangs up. And so people tell me,
like when they talk to me that that's how I sound.
And I said, man, there's part of me that's like, oh,

(01:47:24):
that sucks, but then the other part of me that's like, well,
that's that's who I am. And if if my confidence
brings out your insecurity, what am I supposed to do
about that?

Speaker 1 (01:47:36):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:47:39):
Tech support?

Speaker 2 (01:47:43):
That's why they say opposite is a track, right, So
you can be the mouthpiece and I'll be the brain.

Speaker 1 (01:47:49):
Right, Hey, teamwork.

Speaker 2 (01:47:54):
Yeah, it makes the dream work.

Speaker 3 (01:47:56):
So you know what, I have a Yo, Yo, I
have a question.

Speaker 4 (01:48:01):
I have a question, lady, now you know, like as
a matter of fact, you know, like I'm gonna you
know what I'm saying from experience, right, So I'm gonna
tell you. I'm gonna tell you how like a lady
and I like actually like met right now. It was
on Facebook, you know, like like we were friends before
you know, we found and we found you know, we

(01:48:22):
found each other in like similar places like you know,
like you know how they have like a public form
you know, like you know, someone you know comments on
it and whatever. You know, so we find each other
in similar places.

Speaker 3 (01:48:33):
Whatever. It's like, oh, you know what, we kind of like,
you know, get along on that part, but like it
was ever whatever. Right.

Speaker 4 (01:48:39):
So there was one post that she put up about
like how she almost lost her life in a fire,
right you know, and and I remember that, you know
what I'm saying, And I remember that fire, you know
what I'm saying, and like, you know, like and like
she was talking about like like why you know, I'm saying,
I don't understand why I'm still here. So I told her,

(01:49:00):
I'm like, yo, you know what, God has a reason
for you you know.

Speaker 2 (01:49:04):
And then you know, like.

Speaker 4 (01:49:06):
Yeah, well a little bit, you know what I'm saying,
and then like it was an it was another thing
that that you know, like like like the that time
that she was going through, like you know, like she was.

Speaker 3 (01:49:15):
Like going through a breakup or whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:49:17):
Right, and then she you know, she posted something about
what she wants out of a man and stuff, right,
and I inboxed. I was like, yo, listen, I need
you to take I was say, listen, you know what,
with all due respect, take that down. And she was
like why, I said, because you know what I'm saying,
Because because I told her. I was saying, because that's
how you're going to track people. That's gonna you know

(01:49:38):
what I'm saying, playing to the role. You know what
I'm saying, Like you're not going to meet the person
you want to meet, don't You're not gonna meet the representative.

Speaker 2 (01:49:45):
Yeah, you know you're gonna meet what you for now?

Speaker 3 (01:49:49):
Yeah exactly exactly.

Speaker 4 (01:49:51):
So then like you know, like we just you know
what I'm saying, Like we just started to inbox each
other and then like you know, we started hanging out.
Everything was cool, everything was great, and then like you know,
it just led to other things and like you know,
and here we are now, you know, like that's my
you know, like like you know, like that is you
know what I'm saying, that's my homegirl, that's my best friend,
that's my you know, future ex wife, and I'm just playing.
I just thought, I thought, you know what. I tell

(01:50:13):
her that, like, yo, you're my future ex wife, and
she gives me like a heart. I have to look
to Corleone be like Yo, you're bugging bro.

Speaker 3 (01:50:19):
I'm like, yeah, like shut up.

Speaker 2 (01:50:21):
You shouldn't play like that because you call it into
existence manifest.

Speaker 3 (01:50:27):
No wait wait wait wait wait hold on, you know what?
And then I would tell her every time I'm like,
I'm like, yo, you know what.

Speaker 4 (01:50:33):
I was like, you know what, you know that, you
know that's not how that's going to play out, right,
But like see, now here's the thing. Right now the
question is this. I'll be you know what, like I'll
encourage her to go out with her friends all the time,
right And she was like why, I'm like, because I
don't want you to forget that you have friends, like

(01:50:53):
you know, like, yes, you're a mother. Now, don't forget
who you are before that. Yeah, you know, Like I'm like,
don't forget who you are, go out, go out with
your sister go out, you know, like like you know,
she's like, what about you and the baby. I'm like,
I go to Coleone's house. That's daddy, That's that's daddy daycare.
I'll just drive over there. I'll pick you up, you know,
like I have no problem, you know, just go out.

(01:51:16):
I want you to live, you know, because like because
because on the times that she's home sometimes, like you know,
I'll like you know, like take a ride or whatever. Right,
you know, I go down to my parents by myself.
I go to cole Oons by myself, Like you know,
I'll go somewhere eventually, you know, like I'll have to
stop by Walmart all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:51:38):
Hey, well she does that. Ship man should be pissing me.

Speaker 4 (01:51:41):
Anyways, you know, like like you know, like it's it's
always for two things. And the next thing, you know,
I get like a text message of litany of stuff
that you know that we need and stuff right, and
I'm like, oh man, I'm like, bro, you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:51:56):
Like why do this now? Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:51:58):
Because you're outside.

Speaker 4 (01:51:59):
I'm like, but anyways, but that's besides that, you know,
like like you know, I want you know what I
want her to like you know, like you know, like
go outside, like be outside more.

Speaker 3 (01:52:10):
You know, like but like her things, that's.

Speaker 1 (01:52:12):
Not first maybe it's not like it's not her thing.

Speaker 3 (01:52:15):
Yeah, yo yo yo, you know what yo yo, you
know what.

Speaker 4 (01:52:17):
I'm starting to see that that you know, like she's
always been the homebody, right you see what I mean?
Like like me at the other hand, like see this
is where you know we're opposites because me, I I
love being outside. I love it, you know, like I'm
a spurt of moment type person. You know that's cool.
Leone like what like one minute, you know, blah blah
blah blah. I'll call him up out of no where. Yo,

(01:52:38):
you're busy.

Speaker 3 (01:52:40):
No, I ain't got nothing to do. I want to
feel the cheese sticks sandwiches going on the Philly.

Speaker 2 (01:52:45):
Pass by my house.

Speaker 4 (01:52:47):
No, no, but hold on though, like like like you
know what, we haven't react that in a minute, but
like you know, like twenty twenty one, you haven't done
that since done, you know, I haven't been down.

Speaker 3 (01:53:02):
To Philly like three yeah, like four years. No wait
that's both.

Speaker 4 (01:53:07):
No, that's a lot because we went down to Parks,
but that was like two years ago. You know, but
other than that, like you know, like like I'm spurred
the moment, you know, like like you know where hers
like she you know, you have to give her a
couple of days in advance.

Speaker 3 (01:53:22):
Yeah, yeah, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:53:24):
But am I wrong for encouraging her to, like, you know,
just go outside, you know, like be with your friends
and stuff, you know, like even if she don't want
to do it, because I just want to make sure because.

Speaker 2 (01:53:35):
This is part of where that love language thing comes in.
That woman deserves a Philly cheese stay because it's like
kind of like where those love languages came in when
that started. The thing is we were loving people the
way we wanted to be loved and not the way
they wanted to be loved, right, And that's where this

(01:53:57):
communication with each other comes in so important. Asking her
what makes her happy? Now, we're the ones that are
responsible for our own happiness. So if she's not giving
you the full information, that's going to be on her.
But the thing is, if she's telling you that the
night's out and the hanging out here and the hanging

(01:54:18):
out there is not for her, believe her when she
tells you that.

Speaker 1 (01:54:23):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:54:24):
But then you also have to share with her. The
way you feel love is when you can spontaneously go
to Corleone's house or go see your parents. So that's
where you guys have to have the communication. And the
thing is, and I heard this on a show too,
being honest and being transparent are two different things. Being

(01:54:47):
honest is when somebody asks you a question and you
tell them the truth. Being transparent is when you're saying,
before you do it, I'm going to go to my
mom's house because and because I need to do a
B and C. And this is who's going to be there, Fulana,
her sister, her brother.

Speaker 1 (01:55:08):
You don't like.

Speaker 3 (01:55:11):
Nah, you know what? You know what?

Speaker 4 (01:55:13):
We don't like Fulana. We don't you know what I'm saying,
Like the same way you don't like Fulano. We don't
like Fulano. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:55:18):
But you can't and and and that's another thing. People
make assumptions based on their environmental upbringing. Right. So I
left the city of Camden, New Jersey, many many many
moons ago, although I still live close I. One of

(01:55:39):
the reasons I left is because I could no longer
deal with the mentality or the mindset that you have
to have to live in that city. Now, mind you,
I'll still go walking there at one two o'clock in
the morning and not be afraid because that is that's
where Yeah, I was taught. And the thing is, if

(01:56:02):
you go there looking like a victim, you're gonna be one.

Speaker 3 (01:56:05):
So that's everywhere, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:56:09):
Yeah, so I'm not afraid. But at the same token,
that doesn't mean I have love for my hood. But
I don't love my hood all right, because they keep them,
they keep we keep perpetuating the same cycle of of ignorance,

(01:56:29):
of ignorance that keeps people playing these same exact games
over and over and over again. You know, like as
many times I see guys saying or even girls, you know,
I want somebody who don't play no games. First thing
that happens, we get on the phone, they're playing a game.
They want me to read between the lines. I just

(01:56:52):
wanted to throw that out there. Thank you, Aman, we are.

Speaker 3 (01:56:57):
Tell you we are a team.

Speaker 2 (01:57:01):
Yeah. So it's like you want somebody who don't play
the games, but then you're playing these go get their games,
you know where I gotta between.

Speaker 3 (01:57:09):
Get their games?

Speaker 4 (01:57:12):
Yo, yo, yo, Look at yo, look at you with
the metaphors.

Speaker 3 (01:57:16):
Yel you're gonna be someone's ghost riders soon. Man.

Speaker 2 (01:57:19):
Yo, I'm letting y'all know. I'm working on my book.
I'm working on my book.

Speaker 3 (01:57:24):
That's what's up.

Speaker 2 (01:57:25):
That's what It's gonna be an Amazon soon enough.

Speaker 3 (01:57:28):
All right, all right, so we all we.

Speaker 1 (01:57:31):
All any any any any any last words? Who I
hope with the question of the night is one last
last words from anybody?

Speaker 4 (01:57:39):
Yeah, man, like like, yo, you know what, hold on man,
I thought, Yo, you know what I saw the cherries
or whatever I said, Wait a minute, I'm not driving.

Speaker 3 (01:57:51):
I'm on the corner. Man.

Speaker 4 (01:57:54):
Look man, just yeah, the cherry you know, the lights.
You know what I'm saying, police lights, the police likes
I'm outside. I'm outside, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:58:02):
Like you're always outside?

Speaker 3 (01:58:05):
Yeah yeah, yeah, you know what because.

Speaker 2 (01:58:07):
My daughter because you're always outside.

Speaker 3 (01:58:10):
Well, yo, you know what? First off, first off, you
know what, yo? First off, real quick, right, you know,
and Codelon has been witness to this. Right.

Speaker 4 (01:58:18):
Whenever I go somewhere far yo, you know what, yo, Yo,
you know what, whenever I go somewhere far, that's like
you know what I'm saying like that that's beyond like
you know Cordelon's beyond. You know what I'm saying, my
house or Elizabeth in New Jersey. I always send him
my location. The reason being is for many reasons, right. One,
if something happens, you know where I'm at. No God forbid,

(01:58:39):
if something happens, you know where I'm at.

Speaker 2 (01:58:41):
But sharing that location all the time, bro, you.

Speaker 4 (01:58:44):
Know, like you know what, like you know what, example yesterday, right,
you know, like I want to go do something for
the homeless, you know, like you know, like just you know,
with the church and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:58:57):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:58:58):
I forgot to tell her that Friday that I was
gonna go. So I told her that, you know what
I'm saying yesterday morning. At first she was like, you know,
like like you know, like it was just like all
of a sudden or whatever. But then like you know,
she seen the pictures and stuff, you know, and she
was like, all right, all right, I said, And I
told her, I told her, yo, you know what, if
you're thinking something, I was like, Yo, it's not that
because in all honesty, you know what I'm saying, I'm

(01:59:20):
in a good place where I'm at. Secondly, I don't
I don't have the energy, you know what, I'm saying
to be like living a double life.

Speaker 3 (01:59:26):
That's crazy. I can't.

Speaker 2 (01:59:28):
You know what everybody says that.

Speaker 4 (01:59:30):
No, bro, listen, you know what exactly, you know what,
not everybody could be Batman, everybody could be there double.
You know what I'm saying, I just you know what,
like I don't you know, you know what I'm saying, Like.

Speaker 3 (01:59:43):
I can't do it, Captain, I can't.

Speaker 4 (01:59:47):
I can't, man, because because because you know what, just
like I don't have to said be.

Speaker 2 (01:59:52):
Like if I didn't want to talk to you, I
wouldn't be on the phone with you right now.

Speaker 4 (01:59:55):
That's bs you you no, but but yo, I'm serious
when I say is man because like because like the
reason why, the reason why, like you know, like I
say I don't have the energy for it, is because.

Speaker 3 (02:00:08):
I'm learning from my past mistakes.

Speaker 4 (02:00:10):
You know what I'm saying, Like I look back at
of all the times when I did have the energy
for it and how it ended. You know what I'm saying,
And believe me, you know what, you know what I'm saying,
it never ended. Well, you know what I'm saying, not
only for me, but for everybody.

Speaker 3 (02:00:25):
You know what it is. You know what it is.

Speaker 4 (02:00:28):
I mean like, it's like the definition of a satity
to keep doing the same thing and hoping for different results,
you know what I'm saying. And you know what, And
I always got different results whenever I was doing that,
but it was always worse than the last time, you know.

Speaker 1 (02:00:43):
So it's like, say to yourself, when am I going
to stop this bullshit? It just keeps happening and keep happening.

Speaker 4 (02:00:50):
Exactly exactly exactly, so it's like you So it's like yell,
you know what.

Speaker 3 (02:00:56):
And that's why I'm saying, I'm good where I'm at.

Speaker 1 (02:00:58):
The question of the night that I'm putting on y'all
too all right?

Speaker 4 (02:01:03):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (02:01:03):
Hum?

Speaker 1 (02:01:05):
Is cereal really soup? Why or why not?

Speaker 2 (02:01:10):
No?

Speaker 1 (02:01:12):
Cereals not soup.

Speaker 2 (02:01:12):
It's and liquid not always dry cereal different well dry cereal.

Speaker 1 (02:01:21):
You eat dry cereal.

Speaker 3 (02:01:22):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (02:01:23):
And I did my bananas in my rice crispies crunch crunch.

Speaker 3 (02:01:27):
Oh, so yo, you know what? You know what?

Speaker 4 (02:01:31):
You know what bananas of rice crisp crispy is always
like hit like it's like the perfect you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (02:01:38):
What kind of rice crispies? Because I got the frosty.

Speaker 2 (02:01:40):
Crispies, nougar like that in my body.

Speaker 3 (02:01:49):
I blew myself a bowl.

Speaker 2 (02:01:50):
Of rice crispies, take my banana and shove it in
the rice crispy and eat the end off of it.

Speaker 1 (02:01:57):
Sound is so therty.

Speaker 3 (02:01:59):
That's how yo. That sounds so sexual? Yo ho yo?
How do you?

Speaker 4 (02:02:06):
How do you turn like breakfast into like you know
what I'm saying, like one like a sexual for play method.

Speaker 3 (02:02:13):
It's my gift you you made.

Speaker 1 (02:02:19):
With that. With that being said, it was an amazing
show tonight. Was spitting balls like crazy tonight. She did
a great job.

Speaker 4 (02:02:29):
That's that's that's the norm though, that's the norm.

Speaker 1 (02:02:32):
I know that that is the norm. That's why she's
so loved by everybody.

Speaker 2 (02:02:36):
For all those men out there, you need to pick
up your computers and email a sister no cordo.

Speaker 1 (02:02:48):
With that, with thank you for everybody that came in today.
Thank you for everyone who stood the whole time. We
appreciate the things. I will get the information out to everybody.
I'll post it on the fan page, the emails for
all the hosts. And we're good, we're good, and and

(02:03:08):
thanks for for being here. Man. We appreciate the fans
and where we got a lot of good ship.

Speaker 3 (02:03:14):
It was also surprise that we did it on a
Sunday too.

Speaker 1 (02:03:17):
Yeah, that's the first Sunday we never did.

Speaker 3 (02:03:20):
You know what, actually, you know what happened someday. You
know what. Sundays are pretty good. I ain't gonna lie like.

Speaker 1 (02:03:27):
You know, except during the football season.

Speaker 4 (02:03:28):
Let's get it exactly, exactly exactly because you know, because
we're men.

Speaker 1 (02:03:41):
If you don't stop, you will get meno polls menstro
all right, all right.

Speaker 3 (02:03:54):
With that, with that be remember her peace.

Speaker 1 (02:04:01):
Anyway, anyway, anyway, with that being said, I've been Cordon.
That's lad you that look thought, that's dubs of Dawn,
Simon Phoenix. It was a great night. Thanks for being here,
and always know it that at some point it's my heart.

Speaker 2 (02:04:19):
Good night, everybody, Bones and nachos.

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