It's Just Another Honest Wednesday (Recorded LIVE On 7-9-25)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Y y nay, stop everybody, just big colding on of

(01:48):
this my heard podcast coming to you live as always.
You know how it is, You know how we do here,
always live, always real, and it is what it is. Right,
this might hurt at some point, you get it. I'm
going to bring in the fabulous Lady g La Dot.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
Hello, Hey guys, how's it going.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
How are you?

Speaker 2 (02:18):
I'm wonderful.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
That's always that's always a good thing.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yes, when you wake up on this side of the dirt,
it's always a wonderful thing.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah. Nobody wants dirt on them. Yeah, nobody wants Yeah,
we don't want dirt on us. No, that's not good.
You have to keep it above ground, yes, always above grown, all.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Right with you.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
You can see the chat is on the screen now
you can see it, right.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Ah, well it's pretty small, but yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
It is small, but it's just pop it up on.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
The screen midnight. Yes, thank you so much. We've missed
doing it.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, most definitely. I'm gonna start off by talking about
some mistake that I just recently made. So I wasn't
worth it. No, no, has nothing to do with no, no, no, no, no,

(03:27):
nothing like that. But so as you got you. Everybody
knows we got shirts. You know what I'm saying. We
have gorgeous shirts. This Man podcast t shirts, you know
what I'm saying. And we give them out to the
fans that have been long time listeners. They went contests,

(03:49):
you know, stuff like that. We send them out to fans,
you know whatever. So what I did was what I
wanted to do. Was I wanted to, you know, get
a whole new style of T shirt for the fans,
you know what I mean. So I go to the
website where I got these shirts made, and you know,

(04:13):
I set it up. I send them the info. They
get back to me. They say, listen, bro, the file
you sent us is a good file, but we need
to be able to make it bigger, the logo bigger
on the shirt, so we need a different file. The

(04:33):
file is called an AI file, not artificial intelligence. It's
a photo is a type of photo file. Right. So
when I when I, when I, when I had the
logos made, the dude that that helped me accidentally sent

(04:56):
me the wrong logo. He sent me the logo to
the words are kind of wrong. So I can't see
what the AI fiul is because I don't have the
program to see the file. So what I did was
I assumed, and I should never do that, No, you should,

(05:18):
I should never assume. I assumed the AI foul was
the correct file that I needed to send. I sent
them the file, they made the shirts, they sent me
the shirts, and I sent my fellow co hosts a picture.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Well, we weren't supposed to be proofing it. We were
supposed to be saying if we liked it or not.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
I sent everyone a picture of the T shirt, and
not one of you, not one of you, said, yoon,
shit ain't right. Not one person said, listen, that doesn't.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Look right, because it did look right. We weren't supposed
to We weren't supposed to be reading it. We were
supposed to be looking at the design.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
If we were gonna it was nice, right, it was,
it was, it was, it was nice. But I get
the I get the shirts in all right. Now, listen,
the shirts are dope, the logo is dope, but it's wrong,
and I'm gonna tell you why it's wrong, and you

(06:36):
could tell me why you think it's wrong. So listen,
I have twelve of these shirts.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
We can't see bro mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Look at that.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
It's nice.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
It's nice, but what does it say? What did you say.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
This my heart?

Speaker 1 (07:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yo, I was maybe maybe that means you might love
this podcast.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Maybe maybe I told you.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
I told you I will rocket either way.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, heart exactly, yeah, heart exactly. I was like, yo,
but yeah, but you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna send
them out to everybody who wants one. I have to,
you know, reorder them, but this time with the right

(07:44):
with the right information. It's crazy. So now I want
to I want to I want to talk about the
movie theater real quick. So movies movie comes out tomorrow.

(08:06):
I'm gonna go see it with my movie partner. I'm
gonna go see Superman right now. Have you heard the
ship going around about this movie? No, I know, I know,
we don't. We don't get into all that bullshit, Okay,
but there's they're saying that now that the director of

(08:32):
the film said that Superman is no, he's an illegal immigrant.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
That he's from that he's from another planet. So during
an interview, he said, oh, Superman is an illegal immigrant
or illegal alien from another planet. And guess who ran
off with that? All all all, all the all the.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
All of the the Newspeople.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
The Newspeople ran off with it and one and one
one Fox News. A reporter on Fox News said this,
and I'm gonna I'm gonna quote him because I watched
the video ten times to make sure I heard what
I heard. He said, do you know what it says
on Superman's Cape and the one says what he said, MS.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
Thirteen, That is horrible.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
That's exactly what he said. And I saw the videos
and it was it was it was bad. It was bad.
He said, Yep, that's exactly what he said. But I'm
not We're not gonna we don't talk to you know,
you know how we do here. But you can go
look up the video yourself, check it out and yeah,

(09:54):
those people and they're crazy.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
They that's gonna have some repoks quesions.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yes it is, Yes, it is. So Anyway, now, I
want to talk about a couple of things I want
to talk about. We'll get into a fany man, We'll
get into a couple of topics here. But what is
the primary reason men get into relationships? Right? So, everybody

(10:27):
has their own reasons for wanting to be in a relationship,
and I I personally think for for me personally, and
for a lot of men out there. I don't know
about all men, but I know a majority of men
they get into it, not not not just not just
because they're not alone, because that that's that's not really

(10:50):
a good reason.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
It's a reason.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
But men, men are only into relationships. They get into
relationships for love.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
What what do you know?

Speaker 1 (11:03):
I know, I know a lot of dudes. All right,
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna play family few and
be like survey says, but there are men men, A
majority of men get into relationships for love. What else
is there? Though? What else is there to get into
a relationship for besides being lonely? If you you're lonely

(11:24):
and you want to be with.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Someone, there are lots of reasons, all right, So give
me some. Are you talking good reasons or.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Any any any reason that you think a dude would
want to get into a relationship.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Oh, a dude would want to get into relationship. Uh,
easy access to intimacy, their their physical intimacy, somebody to
cook for them, clean for them, wash their clothes, take

(12:01):
care of their business.

Speaker 1 (12:04):
Yeah, so you don't think you don't think of.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
Very few having been a marriage and family therapist for
many years. I I can't say that I found a
lot of men who got into a relationship for love

(12:33):
infatuation maybe, but it was more for their own emotional security. Hmmm.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
I don't know. I think I think a majority of
some men, I'm not going to say a majority is
less than I think. I kind of think that it's
because what I mean, what what what? What? What could a
man possibly gain from from being a relationship, being in

(13:08):
a relationship other than gaining the love of a woman.
I mean, if that's.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
Amanda, Hey, Amanda, well, I mean, based on a lot
of the things that.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
Amanda, how are you? You're one of our You're one
of our favorites too, So you are got to send
you a T shirt, one of the new ones, not
the one that we got messed up. All right, good,
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
No, you're not. No, I just I I'm not seeing
that Cooleon. I'm not because and I've seen it on
a lot of different feeds, a lot of different you know,
relationship shows and whatnot. They get something out of it,

(14:09):
but they use it as you know, a game, you know,
like that for instance, Like and I've talked a lot
about some of my experiences here on.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
The show, and.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
And you know, like my own personal experiences are that
it's just a game for them. It's a challenge, it's
it keeps them occupied even today, you know. And in
setting up boundaries with people, I told somebody, listen, I'm

(14:49):
not a placeholder, you know. So, yeah, you popping up
every once in a while saying Hi, how are you
just checking in on you? Like, what is the purpose
of that other than trying to keep a line of
communication open that you're not really pursuing. It's kind of like,

(15:13):
let me hold on to this until something better comes along,
you know. And that's actually a lot of what I
am seeing, and it could also be the population I
work with right now. But people are not taking it
seriously because with men, once they're kind of locked in.

(15:35):
I do agree that they they're locked in, you know,
like that that they're in, they're they're doing their thing.
But it's like if or when they get hurt. And
even Dubbs has talked about this before. You know, it
only takes one for a guy, you know, it only

(15:56):
takes for a guy to get that one hurt, that
one bad hurt, and then it ruins it for everybody
who comes later, because they're in this place where I'm
never gonna be that vulnerable again. I'm never gonna allow
a woman to place me in that position. So it's
kind of like get or be gotten, And so then

(16:17):
it turns into this constant game of let me string
these women along, hold place, you know, have them as
placeholders when I don't have anything going on. I mean,
men do kind of run relationships. If a man is
not looking for a long term thing with somebody, it's

(16:39):
not gonna happen.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
So you feel you feel that men men run relationships.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
Well, they're the ones that do.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
The men like like you're saying that they dictate how
the relationship goes.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yeah, the men are the ones who kind of dictate
whether it becomes a relationship or not. Because the natural
order of things is men are supposed to be the leaders, right,
And I'm not talking I'm sure if TG was here, right,
they don't know if they don't open up and try.

(17:15):
But that's the issue, especially in the Latino community, the
minority community. The men are always taught to quote unquote
be a man, right, so the messages that they have
received are a man can't cry, a man can't show
his feelings. Yes, midnight, the man does set the tone

(17:36):
of the relationship and then the woman either allows it
or doesn't, you know. So he's supposed to be the
natural lead of the relationship and the woman is the support,
you know. So it's like he gives the bread. She
multiplies it, she helps it to grow, she cooks it,

(17:59):
you know. So he gives her something and she is
supposed to like help it bloom. Right, So when he
gives her love, and if you've ever really noticed, when
a man truly loves and cares for a woman and
takes care of her the way she needs to be

(18:21):
taken care of, she tends to open up. She tends
to be more you know, loving and caring, and she
tends to give back again, multiply the love that he
gives to her. When a woman feels safe, Go ahead,
go ahead, Cordelon.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
All right, So you just said that if a man,
you said, if a man truly loves a woman and
she knew, she realizes that, she opens up, right, Yeah,
all right, So here's my thing. Okay, this is actually

(19:02):
something I was gonna talk about later on anyway, So
this this actually leads right up into it all right,
So if a man if if a man is considered
to be the provider, right, he's the one that provides

(19:26):
structure and provides whatever else he needs to provide for
the relationship, right is it? Is it because of dot
I word this? If a man puts boundaries on a woman,

(19:49):
mm hmm. Now a lot of women are aren't aren't
gonna like this. But I think man who puts boundaries
on a woman loves that woman. I don't think putting
boundaries on a woman means that he's being overly protective

(20:13):
or he's being controlling. I just think in some instances
he's protecting herself. He's protecting her from herself by putting
boundaries on the relationship.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
And on time. I find that interesting. Number One, placing
boundaries can be a healthy thing. Yes, the thing is
where people A lot of people get it wrong. Right.
So men are still in that control brain space. They're
still in that I'm in charge headspace. What they've been

(20:47):
told all their life. You know, the man doesn't cry.
The man's the leader, the man's this, the man is that.
So they take it I think in the wrong way.
So when a man when we say a man is
to lead, right, it's because he is supposed to, you know,
set the tone for the relationship. Have boundaries. However, where

(21:07):
I feel that they go wrong is they don't see
it as a reciprocal type of boundary. Right, It's more
about a mutual respect. A woman is not going to
just do what a man tells her to. It's about
the communication. Right.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
So if I say, if I say kitchen now, it's
the kitchen, that's it.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
Sorry, that's why you're single. So okay, So let's take
that as a perfect example. Right, So the guy sets
the tone. He says to his wife, honey, because I
am going to work hard and be the financial and see,

(21:52):
being a provider is just not financial. There are so
many things that go with being a provider. Yeah, he's
not just make me a sandwich, all right, you're dumb.
We know who that is. So you know, it's not
saying kitchen now, it's you know, honey, I've had a

(22:15):
really long day. Here's your you know, here's the money
for today. You know, like, here's what I did for you.
I went out, I hit some people over the head.
Here's the meat for you to cook and blah blah blah.
It's a natural give and take, right, It's not him
telling her here's the meat, now you cook it. It's okay,

(22:37):
this is what I did for us today. I went
out and I got our food. So here's the food, honey.
And then she says, okay, so you did your part.
Now let me do my part. I'm gonna take what
you brought for us, and I'm gonna make it into
something that sustains our body. Right, that's what I'm talking about.
You give something to a woman and she multiplies it

(23:02):
as as soon as a guy or you know, a
guy comes in and says, do this, and putting boundaries
on stuff is good. So when a guy is, you know,
trying to have some intimacy with his woman, his wife, whoever,
and she lays down a boundary. Maybe she's had and

(23:24):
these are realistic situations, she's had a history of sexual abuse,
or she maybe on her monthly you know, like there
could be so many reasons. Maybe she was up all
night with the kids. There's many reasons. So he's seeking
something from her and she places a boundary. But instead

(23:46):
of communicating or asking questions like is everything okay? Because
clearly if you love me and I'm trying to get
something from you and you're clearly not in the mood
for that, there's a reason people. People don't just say
no for nothing, right, But instead of trying to find
out what the issue is or giving some grace, automatically

(24:12):
they feel rejected. They feel what is it till they
get the law? You know what? He better go sit down,
you better have go go have many seats, sir. Okay,
you know so Again, it's about the communication. It's about
the give and take, because honestly, I look to a

(24:34):
man to to to guide that relationship. But if you
don't adequately lead, like if you don't lead in a
way that makes me want to follow you, I'm not following,
you know, Like when you start putting the demands, it's
not supposed to be a demand. It's supposed to be leading.

(24:58):
When I see that you you're leading not just me
but us, when I see that you're leading us into
something that is for our good, for our well being,
and not just because of your selfish wants, needs or yes,
communication is everything your selfish once needs, your ego. That's

(25:19):
where we get messed up at a guy.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
So So a man, a man, alright, hold on boundaries
like id like we were like we were totally told
about boundaries.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
Right, So give an example of a boundary.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
All right. So a dude, a dude's chilling home, he's relaxing,
lady walk his lady walk sins, uh, I'm gonna go
have some drinks with the girls, all right, and he
sees how she's dressed and knows that they're going to
the bar, to the club wherever to go get some drinks.
He says, I really don't feel comfortable, you know, with

(25:54):
the way you're dressed, like you're inviting shit, you know
what I'm saying, Like you here.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
The way you just said that, corleone, No, no, I'm
I'm not comfortable with that, right right, That's one way,
Like as a woman, I can respect that, especially if
I love you. I'm not comfortable because you know why,
you're talking about your own feelings. You didn't come out

(26:21):
and say, oh, you ain't going out like that. You know,
Like there's a difference the way you handle it. Right,
You're like, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you dressed
like that, you know, So you're letting me know I
see you. You look good, but I'm concerned for your
well being instead of I like you. You look good,

(26:45):
but that's only for me, and you shouldn't be showing
it to nobody else. Now, if the woman has enough
self respect, she wouldn't want to be doing that either, right,
But the way you just said that feels good to
me as opposed to saying oh no, or not going
out with the girls looking like that, because then that's
just you throwing your weight around, throwing your power around,

(27:08):
and then that's when women start to get defensive. It's like,
hold on, since when were you my father? You're supposed
to be my partner. You're supposed to be my lead.
You know, you're supposed to not only are you supposed
to protect me, you're all supposed to show me what
respect looks like. You know. So the way you said that,

(27:29):
I mean that. We can always word it in different ways,
but the way you said that didn't feel attacking or
you know, like, oh no, you're not like you're trying
to control because you spoke about your own feelings. I'm
not comfortable. So when my man tells me what he's feeling,

(27:51):
how he's feeling, oh, trust and believe my ears are
going to open up because I want to hear why
you feel that way? Right?

Speaker 3 (28:02):
You know?

Speaker 2 (28:03):
So the way the way a man does it is everything. Community,
the way he communicates it is everything.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
Absolutely right. Yeah yeah, yeah man, because I don't. I
I was I was never the type to be like,
you know.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
You know what you need to be doing.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not. I was never that type
to be like her barking all is and ship like that.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
But again, a lot of guys, well, I mean it's
both guys and girls. I can't just put it on one.
It's both guys exert something and then women allowed, you know,
and when a woman's you know, I know you guys
have seen it everywhere, like these memes that are like

(28:59):
when a woman leaves you for herself, you know she's
not coming back, you know, because it's like when a
woman actually and I don't mean like in a smart way.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
When a woman said up, she'll be called in tyrone.
Oh gosh, no, I was not an ergan idol. That
wasn't me.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
Oh boy. So so so it's like, and you just
took me off of my train of thought. My bad, bad, No,
but you were saying about women realizing when women truly

(29:45):
see and feel their value in a relationship, they're more
apt and more likely to be and and and don't
get messed up here. People submissive right, and it's not
a submissive like yes, masters tell me what to do
and dubs. If you say something, I'm going to slap
you it if you're if you're providing for me the

(30:16):
safe space, if you're providing for me, the providing you know,
the emotional you know you're providing the emotional support, the
physical support, the respect, Like, if you're providing that for me,
I'm going to follow you anywhere. I'm going to trust

(30:37):
that you're that you know where you're leading us, and
that you feel it's actually right when you're willing to
communicate to me. Sometimes reasons why we're not always going
to get the reason. Sometimes we're going to have to trust.
But the thing is, if you're leading me correctly, I'm
going to trust you without fail, without question, because you

(30:59):
ever already shown me that I don't have to question
anything that you're asking of me. So if my girl
happens to be there when you say to me, I'm
not real comfortable with you going out on that dress.
I don't need to question you right then, right there
with her there, because you and I have such a

(31:20):
relationship of trust, respect, love, you know, and and and
and real growth, you know, real I'm looking out for
you type stuff. I'm not gonna question. I'll be like,
you know what, all right, honey, and I'm gonna go
change my clothes, and I'm not gonna I'm not going
to ask the questions. Maybe letter later I might want

(31:42):
to know what you were concerned about. But when you
lead as a pair, as a couple without fail, you
say something and I'm going to respectfully submit to you,
and I'm not going to ask. I'm not going to question.
I'm just going to say, okay, because I know at
some point you're going to make it all right for me.

(32:07):
Does that make sense?

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Makes a lot of sense? Yeah, makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Yeah,
I mean there's no other way to put it.

Speaker 2 (32:21):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
What I mean.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Yeah. And unfortunately, you know, we're just in a space
right now where there is no trust. You know, people,
and I've said this before too, people have just spent
so much time hurting and being heard that nobody is
willing or able. Oh thank you Amanda. Nobody is willing

(32:45):
or able right now to want to put themselves out
there because they know how painful that is. You know,
we're back back in the day, not even that many
years ago. People were at least willing to go out
on a limb, right, But then that limb started getting
smaller and smaller, and the beatings started getting harder and harder.

(33:08):
So it's like people can't just cheat anymore, right, They
can't just go to a bar and have a one
night stand. It's like, no, I've got to go into
your house, into your brother and sister's bedroom, and actually
violate our relationship with an even closer relationship, and then

(33:28):
prance them around in the local bar so that everybody
and their mom sees it. And then I'm gonna take
your credit card and i'm gonna run the bad boy up,
take your.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Car noo, and I'm gonna buy some stuff here.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Yes, but that is where we've gotten took.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
Like that sounds a little bit too detailed, like what's
going on.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
Here, because that's what it's turned into. People can't just
key cars anymore. They got to take the car for
a joy ride first, then keep it and set the
thing on fire. So it's like, you can it just
cost me money, You actually got to cost me my
whole lifestyle. Because people are just sick and tired of
being sick and tired and hurt. People are hurting people,

(34:10):
and so then for the people who refuse to go
around hurting people, they're just continuously being hurt because they're
still loving and caring and wanting to believe in something good.
You know. I know we don't talk about religion or anything,
but there's a song that I listen to, you know,

(34:32):
and it talks about you know, it's talking to God,
and it's like, when when I should have given up,
When when I should have just lost it all, you
kept God kept my heart alive, right, And so that's
what he does for some people, you know, like there

(34:57):
are still people out there that their heart is still alive.
They're still hoping and doing their job and trying to
prove that love does exist. Good people do exist, and
unfortunately they have to keep going through a lot of

(35:17):
stuff and seeing a lot of pain and agony in
the meantime. Because and I know I'm going to get
some blowback for this too. It actually takes a stronger
person to keep their heart alive than the people who
become jaded, because it's easy to get hurt one time

(35:39):
and then give up. It's easy to say, oh, you're
never gonna get me again, and then you become the
player and you just keep playing on people's emotions and
leading people along and all this stuff. You know, I
know somebody that they just string strings, string people along,

(36:01):
and when the person finally stands up for themselves, they're
hoping that that person's gonna fight for them. But what
ended up happening was the guy says, oh, Bet, I
won't contact you anymore, just because she spoke up about

(36:22):
feeling like she was a placeholder, right, So he spends
all this time telling her he likes her, he cares
about her, he's just not in a good place right.
And of course she wants to believe the best she
sees and knows like his potential, she has seen good things.
And so when she stands up for herself, when she

(36:44):
starts to respect herself and say, listen, this is how
I'm feeling. This is how it's been going for such
a long time, and right now I'm feeling like if
this is the way it's gonna be I'd rather you
not communicate with me anymore. And she's sitting there hoping
that something changes, but instead he just says, oh, okay,

(37:08):
no problem, you'll never hear from me again.

Speaker 1 (37:11):
Oh wow.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
So it's like wow, all this time he spent fighting her,
saying you don't want me, you don't want me, and
he's like, that's not it, that's not it. That when
she finally stands up for herself, he's like, no problem. Bye,
I mean that's some that's some painful stuff.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
That's that's yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
But because she has decided to stand up for herself,
the only thing she can say is all right, piece bro.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
Yeah yeah, yep, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Now not a backtrack real quick to the providing thing.
I just want to say this for people, whether it
be men or women, that think or feel that a
man being the provider means that it's all about providing financially,

(38:17):
grow the fuck up, yes, because that's not at all, right,
it's not that's not that's not the case. Because sometimes
when when when you get into a conversation about this
kind of stuff and it's like, well, a man needs
to be the provider, he needs to provide because I'll

(38:38):
tell you what, if your man cannot pay your bills,
you don't need a you don't you don't need a
new man. You need to find a fucking job.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
But see, if we're both coming to the table with jobs,
right right now, hold on. But if we're both coming
to the table with jobs, then just like the man,
and she's also still expected to do the cooking, the cleaning,
the carrying, the raising, and he's not willing to do

(39:11):
anything more than just that job. That is an issue.
That's an issue, you know what.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
I'm not getting that. Explain it all right.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
So you and me, we both work.

Speaker 4 (39:33):
Melissa, And I was like, oh my god, no.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
So you and you and me we both work?

Speaker 4 (39:44):
Oh boy, yeah, yeah, good goead.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
So we so we so we both work. We both
have long days. You know. Neither one of our jobs
is better worse than the other, you know. But then
I come home around the same time you do. You
come in, you sit down, you take off your shoes,

(40:13):
you sit back, you watch your sports, you know, you
do all that. And I'm in the kitchen, I'm bathing
the kids. I'm putting the kids to bed, getting their
stuff ready for school tomorrow. In the kitchen, cooking dinner
and you're just kind of sitting there. Then you're complaining
about the trash, and you're complaining about the room not

(40:38):
being vacuumed. You're complaining that groceries aren't in the fridge,
you know, And it's like, Okay, we both work. You
have the same amount of time that I have, However,
because I love you, because I care, because this is
what I want to do. I'm taking care of our kids,

(41:00):
I'm cooking our dinner, I'm putting things away. But now
you're questioning me about why certain things are not done right?
Do you also not live here? Do you also not
you know, partake of the joy of this home. Could
we not be cooking together? Could we not be taking

(41:22):
the kids to bed together? You know? Could I not
be cooking and you setting up the kids lunch for
tomorrow or our lunch for tomorrow. You know, Like there's
that give and take. It's like, I'm not asking you
to be the sole provider, because clearly I'm helping to
provide too, But I'm asking for a partnership, not for
a dad not.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
That's how it should be.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
Yes, but people don't see it that way. There's like
if I provide bacon on the table, it's your job
to cook it.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
I like bacon, what I like bacon?

Speaker 2 (41:56):
Yeah, you like bacon. How about you help me cook
the bacon instead of just throwing it at me and saying, yeah,
that's fine, that's fine. But that's what I'm saying though.
It's like they're just these these unrealistic expectations right now.
You know, women want men to provide for them, and

(42:17):
you know, honestly, I mean, it doesn't bother me either way.
I think a gentleman should pay for dinner right now.
I'm not going to be mad if I'm taking him
out for a special occasion and I'm footing the bill
or whatever, because especially if we're together, we should be
contributing equally, you know, two things. So I should be

(42:42):
willing to do things for you, just like you're willing
to do for me. However, I feel that, and this
is my personal preference. It's not my expectation, but it
is my preference. Is that I want to be lady.
I want to be feminine. I want I don't need
anyone to take care of me, but I want them
to want to. I want to be babied. I want

(43:03):
to be treated like I'm a piece of glass, even
though they know that I'm not, and I know that
I'm not. You know I'm clumsy. Uh okay, you know
so so. So it's kind of just like you got
to figure out what each other's strengths and weaknesses are, absolutely,

(43:25):
and you have to be willing to make up where
the other one may fall short.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
That's why it's hardly ever fifty to fifty. If you
come in at forty, I come in, I'll take I'll
take the rest of them.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
It's not even I can't even say it should be
that whole fifty to fifty thing, right, because it's never
going to be fifty to fifty. There's always going to
be one giving more than the other at any given moment.
One day it's going to be you, the next time
it's going to be me. So it's like, I really
don't like to give into that fifty to fifty. It
should always be one hundred for both people. The hundred

(43:57):
just looks different each day, each moment, right, right. But
the thing is we also have to maintain our own identities.
We can't be totally codependent on each other. That Heaven forbid,
someone goes somewhere for a couple of days, the other
one's lost. Like if I go to visit my family

(44:18):
for a day or two, I don't expect to come
home and find you on the floor crying because you
didn't know how to make yourself a meal, or wearing
dirty clothes from before I left because you didn't know
how to do the laundry. I mean, I need you
to take care of business even when I'm not around,
you know, and vice versa. So but again, communication is key,

(44:41):
It's key, It's key to everything. But also open mindedness,
because some people are just so true, they're just so
stuck in their ways. They're not open to hearing other
people's perspectives or other people's feelings about things. Sometimes somebody's
uh has citation to do something, it's just that it's

(45:03):
a fear, it's a hesitation. It has nothing to do
with you. So why in the world do you have
to take it so personally? You know? And and all
of a sudden, you know, Heaven forbid, a guy ask
somebody out and she says no, thank you. She was
nice about it. But because you take it as rejection,
all of a sudden you gotta be like, well, f

(45:23):
you be you ain't all that anyway? Well, clearly I
was something that you approached me. So why why because.

Speaker 5 (45:34):
Man that don't know how to take rejection.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Exactly because they haven't.

Speaker 5 (45:40):
That's why I say none of the biggest bitches today
because that's all you see, you know, like like damn
you know, like hasn't dignity? You know, like.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
Whatever?

Speaker 6 (45:54):
Man? You know, like these dudes like see what happens
when you know as back then that's what happens. Mm hmmm,
so exception.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
So this is this, Yeah, I know, it's so real quick.
Then this this goes out to.

Speaker 2 (46:19):
This.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
Actually, there is gonna be a question to you, lady
g and to the women that are actually in the chat.
I'd like to I'd like I'd like to know your
answer to this question. Now. The question is this, do
you have a preference when it comes to finding a

(46:43):
man and dating a man? What are your preferences? What
do you prefer over other things when it comes to
the man you're looking for. Nobody's gonna say a fucking thing, no.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
No, yeah, yeah. I just don't want to always be
the one talking. I don't want people to feel like
I'm monopolizing everything.

Speaker 1 (47:04):
No, no, no, no, well I can't, I can't this
This goes out to you the only woman here TG
is not here, so and to and this goes out
to the women in the chat room. Also, do you
have preferences? What? What are your preferences?

Speaker 2 (47:21):
There are preferences. There are your once your needs and
then your preferences, right.

Speaker 1 (47:26):
Right, So what what are your all? Right? What are
your needs?

Speaker 2 (47:35):
All right? So my needs one, he has to be
a god fearing man. That's that's my first thing. Uh.
My other need is respecting boundaries, consistency, and communication. Like

(47:57):
if if I have to go down just to the needs,
it's communication, consistency, and respect, you know. But first and
foremost he has to be God fearing because for me,
especially now at this time of my life, if you
don't have a relationship with God, then for me everything

(48:22):
else doesn't even matter because that's for me, that's my foundation.
That's that's that's the thing on which the rest of
my life moves. You know, you don't have to have this.
You ain't got to be the preacher or the preacher's son.
You know, I'm not asking for all that. I don't

(48:42):
want a bible thumper, somebody who can quote the scripture.
I don't want any of that. I just want someone
who knows who Jesus Christ is, believes and follows and
and thinks twice before they do things, you know, And
so that that's something for me, especially again now in
this later part of my life, that is that is

(49:04):
a necessary must. I need that first, and then those
other three things, and then everything else can just pretty
much fall into place because I'm pretty uh flexible with
most other things. I can work everything else out.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
Okay, And those are your needs, right, those are the needs.
What are your preferences?

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Preferences are preferences are definitely kind of like old fashioned chivalry.
Someone who naturally falls into opening doors.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
Somebody who thinks about the consequences of his actions.

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Yeah, yeah, you know, someone make his partner feel and
and instead of complaining about something that I'm not doing,
maybe doing that for me because it seems important.

Speaker 5 (50:08):
To you yourself.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
You're a hot mess, Yeah, hot mess. An example of
that is, right, So, I know a lot of guys.
I can't say all, but I know a lot of
guys who are very particular about vehicles. Right. Uh, if
you have stuff in your car if you know it's vacuumed,

(50:35):
if it's clean. You know, like guys tend to really
like to baby their vehicles, right, and so heaven forbid
I leave a trash bag in there, or uh, the
baby through cheerios all over the back seat, or you
know something like.

Speaker 5 (50:53):
That, right, I definitely got that issue.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
Yes, So the difference, you know, the difference to what
I'm looking at is well, since the car thing is
such an important thing to you, it doesn't mean as
much to me. Yes, I would love to be in
a clean car all the time, but with a million
other things I have to do during the day, it's
not my first priority. So as the man who cares

(51:19):
about it, how about you say, well, because I love
my wife and I know how I feel driving in
that clean car, let me it's a Saturday, let me
go clean my wife's car for her. Right, And then
that gets back into that reciprocity. You know, that's important
to you, not necessarily to me. But when you're constantly

(51:41):
crapping and moaning to me about my car not being clean,
that doesn't make me feel good. You know, because what
people don't realize is when you start criticizing people about
certain things, you act like they don't know it already
and that they haven't already criticized themselves. You know, when
people talk about weight, it's like, well, why would you
let yourself get like that? Why have you looked in

(52:04):
the mirror? Do you think that what you do you're good? Yeah? Like,
do you think that what you're telling me is new
information for me? Do you think I don't look myself
in the mirror every day and ask how I got here?
Do you think that I look in the mirror every
day and just decide this is what's happening today? No,

(52:28):
you know, like I've I've already beat myself up more
than you could ever imagine. So I don't need you
to add on to my daily grind. I need you
to be supportive. If it means that much to you,
then how about we find out what's going on and
we work on that. You help me instead of just
sit there and dictate to me what you think should

(52:49):
be happening. How about you become a part of the
solution and not in addition to the problem.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
They very very true.

Speaker 7 (53:00):
Because some people don't like Some people don't like peace,
They like problems.

Speaker 5 (53:05):
That's why.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 5 (53:08):
Unfortunately, I love letters.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
Word word because because the reason why I brought that
up right about the preferences and ship, because some some women.
I'm not saying all women, I'm not. I'm not saying
I mean just some women. They have these preferences like
save for instance, they want a man that makes one

(53:39):
hundred thousand dollars a year because they have such a
great job. They're making all this money. They want a
man equal to them. So they want a man that
makes one hundred thousand dollars a year, right that right there?
And I saw some I saw some of this on
a previous video. That right there eliminates like eighty the

(54:00):
pool of men, right, okay, that leaves you what fifteen percent?
Right out of that fifteen percent, there are half of
them are married engaged. That that leaves you what seven
and a half percent? Right, okay, So that's seven and

(54:21):
a half percent. Some of them, some of that percentages
are they're either gay, let's be whatever, talk talk. Yeah,
they all have to have issues. So that leaves you
with what four percent?

Speaker 2 (54:38):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
You don't want a man that's you want a man
that's let's just say taller than you. That knocks a
percentage out. You want a man that's not a Capricorn
or Pisces or a Scititarius that knocks out some ship too.
So let's just say, for instance, you're down to one
percent of men. Now you have to rely on the

(55:00):
fact that does this man even like you?

Speaker 2 (55:04):
Right?

Speaker 1 (55:05):
This man has preferences as well. How are you gonna
meet that criteria? You might end up the cat lady.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
Yes, but look at this, corleone, look at this. Everyone
has to no virgos. Oh, I'm with you, girl, I
am with you on that, uh anyway, But when people
put those like again, you have to be able to
stand on your own once needs and preferences. Okay, So,

(55:36):
if if I'm out here crying, there's nobody out there
for me, and I have all of these filters that
I'm filtering these men through, I have to be able
to accept that what I'm looking for is a certain
standard right now. If I can't accept that that's my problem,

(55:56):
then I need to adjust my filter. However, there are
there are some women and men out there who have
made that life for themselves, and I'm gonna be totally honest.
They have every right to expect the same now, but
they also have to understand that the more filters they have,
the less people they have to choose from. But depending

(56:20):
on how strong you are on those values and morals
or whatever it is you're looking for, then you have
to be willing to stand on that consequence. Like me,
like what I just said about he has to be
a godfearing man right right right? That definitely already from
the door with no other requirements, that already cuts out

(56:42):
a good portion of men.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
How many on that you think?

Speaker 7 (56:46):
Probably?

Speaker 2 (56:47):
I probably I would say sixty sixty five percent That
already cuts them out for me, because yeah, that's more
than half. But you know what, that particular thing is
something that I am willing to stand on. Then that
means because that means so much to me. Yeah, Like

(57:11):
I'm so all in on that that if that's what happens,
I have to be able to stand on that. I
can't sit here and cry and moan about how there's
no one out there for me, because I'm the one
that's setting the bar, you know. And so it's like
do I want I say this, Do I want to

(57:33):
settle for less than what I actually need? Because a
lot of women do that they have these wants and
needs and even their expectation or their their their needs,
they have them, but because it closes the pool, they're
so afraid to not have access to more people that

(57:54):
they're willing to settle and discount their own needs just
to feel not being by themselves, right, And so you've
got to ask yourself, is that enough? Like for me,
I've worked on my life so much. I've worked on
me as a person. I've worked on so many things.

(58:15):
I know what I have accomplished and how I got
to where I am. So if that means that only
having less than fifty percent to choose from, because I'm
so strong on that point that I have to accept
that I'm going to be single longer, that I'm going

(58:39):
to have less people, you know, approaching me. But because
that's so important to me, I accept that. I accept that,
and I'm okay. I'm okay as I am until I'm
not the way I am anymore, you know. And if
it never happens, guess what I would rather live happy,

(59:03):
peaceful by myself, the miserable and fighting with the wrong
person for the rest of my life. For what if
I'm gonna be miserable. I can be miserable by myself.
I don't need another person. I do not need another
person eating my food, sleeping in my bed, taking up
my space, doing all this just to still make me

(59:25):
feel alone. I'm not gonna do it. I've been there,
I've done that. I'm too old to put up with
the crap.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
You what are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (59:35):
You know what if only my child is thirty six?
So I don't want to hear it. But I do
look good. I do look good for my age, though,
I have to admit. Hey, so yeah, it's just about
what you're willing to deal with and how important certain
things are for you. Like me, I am very much

(59:57):
still the woman who enjoys chivalry. I am not this feminist.
I can open my own door, I can know my
truth is. I can open my own door. I can
take care of myself. I don't need anyone to take
care of me, but I want that. I want to

(01:00:18):
be in a relationship where the man sees me as
something he wants to protect, something he wants to take
care of, because in turn, I want to be able
to do that for him. You know, I am essentially
creating the woman that I want my man to be.

(01:00:41):
I'm ccating, I'm creating in me. I'm creating the woman
that deserves the man that I want to have.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
Okay, because you don't want to create the man you
want him, but I.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
Don't want him to be, but I do. I do
need him to be open to his sensitive side. Yeah,
there is a difference in needing one and wanting one,
you know, because yes, we are in a in a
world where women are fully capable of providing and taking

(01:01:15):
care of themselves, but we don't want to have to if.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
Yeah, but the thing that the ship is too is
that you have some of these some of these women
out there.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
That, oh, the expectations are ridiculous, not just.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
The expectations but the masculine energy that gets shot out
of some of these women.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
Man, Okay, but let me tell you, what do you
expect to come from a woman who's had to take
care of everything all by themselves?

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Yeah, but the the ship is is that you have
a man. You have, you have a dude that's coming
into your.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Life, but clearly he's still not but clearly he's not
allowing it to be safe enough for you to let
go of that masculine energy because I'm gonna lie. I
have masculine energy all day, every day, but in my heart,
I don't want to live in that energy every day

(01:02:11):
all day. But I've had to live there so long
that it's hard to just turn it off. Because someone
comes into your life saying that they want to be
the man, yeah, we have no choice but to We
have to figure it out. The problem is we have
to find not just any person that was just gross.

Speaker 5 (01:02:34):
We have to find no, I ain't burn it is
that I was trying to like, you know, well I
got to spinal stimulate. I'm changing it because like it's
raining and like it just hit me like hard, and
I was like, I'm lowering it right now. Sorry, I
got shocked, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
Apologize. Oh this ship many this shit too strong, all right?
Most important.

Speaker 1 (01:03:03):
Leaves us no choice sometimes, well the ship is too
is that when a dude, when a dude comes into
your life, Okay, when a dude comes into your life,
how is how is? How is he supposed to decipher
whether whether or not dealing with your mastering Energy twenty

(01:03:28):
four to seven is something that he wants to he
wants to put up with. You need to give this
guy an opportunity.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
Hold on, how about if he communicates that feeling.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
Yeah, well, how about if.

Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
He sticks around long enough to find out if that's
the true you or just the facade you've had to
take up all this time.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Well that's that's that's what That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (01:03:49):
In another words, another words, you're representative the facade, that's
what it is. A representative. That's my representative.

Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
Yeah, everybody has one, but people again, I can only
speak for for For me as a woman, I have
not met a man who won is up for the
challenge or two is honest and communicating that they feel
that way. I'm not a mind reader.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
Hold on one second, yeah, ordering the court, you are
now being held to content the court. You are full
of ship and I don't agree with it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
Next, what what proof do you have?

Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
I'm just goofing. I'm just goofing.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
Yeah, you bet. You better bring your proof to hold
up that statement.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
Hold on, hold on, trust believe I love to show
my feminine side.

Speaker 2 (01:04:52):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and you.

Speaker 5 (01:04:55):
Know who you know showing a feminist side to a
lot of men out here.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
And then how about how about not run away because
you're wait a minute, all right, so not run away
because you're independent, all right, there's.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
Nothing because our confidence triggers their insecurity.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
No, see that? Then then to be honest with you,
you're dealing with bitch dudes.

Speaker 5 (01:05:21):
That's that's where I'm coming from.

Speaker 8 (01:05:23):
That's what that's because a man who runs away from
who can't have who runs away from a woman who
shows her independence is is somebody you know you don't
want to deal with.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
The triggers they're insecurity and making sure about then you
need to look at yourself.

Speaker 5 (01:05:46):
And that's what I mean when I say that, you
know a lot of men have feminine qualities as well,
you know, like because of things like that by that nature.

Speaker 1 (01:05:58):
Yeah, you you gotta a lot of people got to
understand too, is that when when dealing with with with
with with a woman that that that is that isn't dependent, Okay,
that is a strong independent woman. It takes a lot
of communicating how it's making you feel.

Speaker 2 (01:06:23):
Yeah, but it's also about doing your research and trying
to understand why is this woman like this? What is
it about her life? What is it about her history
that puts her in because believe it or not, being
in the masculine thing is a defense mechanism, right.

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
I was just about to I was just about to
be like, listen, but go ahead, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're
ahead of me.

Speaker 2 (01:06:47):
Yeah. So it's like, hold up, I see in this
woman A B and C. Right, what I feel is
D E, n F. What is it that I need
to know about her? So that kind of like what
Maria said, so that I can put her at ease,
so I can push that button that allows that wall

(01:07:08):
to just fall away, right, and not for a bad reason,
because that's the thing. Guys are truly out there to conquer. Yes,
but you don't want to do it all alone. No,
I don't think most any of us women really want to.
But then we've got the knuckleheads, of course, who are
walking around. Who are walking around?

Speaker 5 (01:07:29):
That's what I mean talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
Uh, And I've seen some of these reels and I
laugh my behind off talking about, Oh, you want to
take me to the cheesecake factory? What are you talking about?
I ain't gonna know, darn cheesecake girl. Do you know
how expensive that place is? Like they have these expectations
that are so stupid. You know, you patience, you pay

(01:07:54):
for our meal with a coupon that is so cheap.
Excuse me the fact that he's paying it all. Oh,
you need to chill. She's been on her own since
she was seventeen, and she excudes confidence all day every day. Yes, Melissa,
but there is a difference between confidence and just cockiness,

(01:08:15):
you know, confidence and just wanting to be a boss,
you know, like for instance, you know, we as women,
a lot of us talk about being alpha female and
all that stuff. Personally, I don't want to be an
alpha Do I have a strong and confident personality, yes,
Do I speak my mind, do I go after what
I want? Yes? But I don't ever want to be

(01:08:37):
an alpha female because you are no.

Speaker 1 (01:08:41):
Longer a female if you are alpha.

Speaker 2 (01:08:44):
Yes, Unfortunately, And again it goes back to my thing
about wanting a man to lead. I can't be an
alpha female and expect to have a man who will
lead me because I need him and and alpha doesn't
always mean what people think it means. You know, yeah,

(01:09:07):
you know so, so No, I don't want to be
an alpha female. I am a strong female, I am
a confident female. I'm honest with myself, I know what
I want, I'm I'm you know, uh, I'm finally it
took a long long time. You know, I understand that Melissa,
that that you don't you don't want to be, But

(01:09:29):
I would challenge you to actually kind of do some
inner like some inner focusing on why, like what is
it about your life that has caused you to need
to be that? Because we can be those strong, independent,
you know, badass women and not need to be alpha,

(01:09:52):
you know, because again one, you know, you have alpha,
you have omega. So it's kind of like, what is
it what does it mean to be alpha or omega?
And and kind of say is that where I want
to be? You know, because again, if we're gonna claim

(01:10:12):
a position, we can't claim that position and then expect
someone to be in our life that is also in
that position, because you can't have two alphas in a relationship.
You can't just like you can't have two betas or
that's gonna be that's gonna be crazy too. That's actually actually.

Speaker 5 (01:10:32):
You know what I'm saying, Actually, actually you can actually
have two alphas in a relationship. You just have to
you know what I'm saying, both of them have both
have to learn how to and the alphased no, actually
you know what. No, there is in certain situations, you
know what I'm saying. Both of them have to learn
how too. You know what I'm saying, Bounce that little power.

(01:10:54):
But if you learn, but if.

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
You share power, you are no longer alpha, right, well.

Speaker 5 (01:11:02):
In the relationship, no, but like you know what I'm saying.
But like in certain situations, you know what I mean,
like one has you know what I'm saying, Like for instance,
right that says a problem that you can't you can't handle,
but your man can handle. Then out, you know what
I'm saying, let him take charge on that part. There's
a certain situation that he can't handle that you can't handle.

(01:11:22):
Then you know what he has to seen. You know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
The little you know.

Speaker 2 (01:11:25):
But that's not being alpha though, duves. That's that's the
relationship piece of it. When you're alpha, that's alpha. That
is a part, that's a personality, that's a role, that's
a place you know, so you can have again, you
can have a strong and and going back to what
Melissa said about whenever she's been a beta, it's bitter
in the ass. Unfortunately, honey, that's because you were choosing

(01:11:49):
the wrong person to be the alpha. You know, like again,
we have to be choosy. We we are powerful and
valuable beings. But what we tend to not do is
we tend to not be more mindful. Yes, you got

(01:12:10):
to realize your worth. We have to be more mindful
about what we bring to the table so that we
can find the complementary to what we bring. And so
when we're talking about the alpha, we can be strong, independent,
you know, strong character, opinionated. We can be all of
that and not need to be the alpha in the relationship.

(01:12:33):
You know, because I'm a Leo okay, and so Leo's
are natural leaders, we're natural protectors. We we we roar,
you know, we have power. You're making lots of noise there,
dubs my water. I'm thirsty, you're distracting. I am a

(01:12:54):
very I'm very passionate personality, but my my roar is
worse than my actual bite right because I don't want
I don't want at any at no time do I
want any part of alpha. You know, I'm happy being
the supporter, but I do have that alpha trait where

(01:13:19):
it's like, mess with people I love and you're gonna
get hurt. By August fifth, you know. So it's like,
you know, I have that power in me, right, but
I'm mindfully choosing my position, you know, And I don't

(01:13:40):
like to compete. I don't like to compete. I'm either
I'm either it or I'm not. But I have to
be more mindful about the partner that I choose, right
so it will allow me to be the beta that
I want and need to be, so that I can
live in my feminine energy, so that I can live

(01:14:04):
in trusting someone else. At this time in my life,
I work in a profession that requires a very strong personality.

Speaker 1 (01:14:16):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:14:16):
You know, I'm no longer a therapist who's there to
like support and help people, you know. That's me as
a person, though my personality is a helper, is a
very sensitive, you know, loving person, you know. But I
have to be more more careful with the people that
I give my my energy to. I have to be

(01:14:39):
more careful about the people that I allow to see
me in that more feminine role in that you know, uh,
for lack of better words, that that weaker energy, you know,
but that doesn't make me weak. It actually takes a
lot of strength to be that because my natural every
day place is the masculine energy. I have to be

(01:15:04):
a masculine energy all day, every day as a mother,
as an employee, you know, I have to be able
to point people in the right direction and put my
foot down and you know, I have to be able
to do all of those things. But when it comes
to coming home, yes, I have to. I have to.
I can't be vulnerable during the day. But I also

(01:15:27):
have to be careful about choosing. I can't just choose
any FULO that comes up to me talking about I.

Speaker 5 (01:15:33):
Like you, you.

Speaker 2 (01:15:35):
Know, because people Yes, what people don't realize about me
is yes, you don't know him. He lives down the street,
you know.

Speaker 5 (01:15:57):
Yeah, we know him all too damn well.

Speaker 1 (01:16:07):
And the thing and the thing too that a lot
of people don't whether it be when men and women
a lot of them don't realize, is that at this
point in your life. I think I've said this before,
someone coming into your life, their life doesn't start.

Speaker 2 (01:16:24):
With you when they meet you.

Speaker 1 (01:16:25):
Yeah, they come with baggage, all their experiences, all their heartache,
all their dysfunction, all that everything comes with them.

Speaker 2 (01:16:37):
What I'm saying, because he Corleone, is have they dealt
with it? That is the question have they allowed themselves
to not only put a name on it, recognize it,
but have they been able to work through it? Have
they been able to heal themselves? And get this straight, ladies,

(01:16:58):
you are not responsible to fix anyone and same thing
for men. A man is not supposed to fix you. You
have to fix yourself, and they're there to hold you,
support you, help you pick up the pieces of what
was left behind. No one else is responsible for our

(01:17:20):
happiness nor our healing. They can be catalysts, they can
be helpful, They can be the one that puts you
over that healing edge. They can soothe you and protect you.
Say it a little louder, you know they are. They
can soothe you, protect you, support you. But it is

(01:17:42):
no one else's responsibility or job because that's a lot
of pressure to put on somebody, whether they are. You
got to heal yourself and now you got to heal
this other person too. Okay, I'm not because you know what,
I'm going to put it to y'all like somebody put
it to me. And you know what, It really took

(01:18:04):
that slap in the face for me to really see
and understand. My therapist slapped me find out, she said,
you are not supposed to take on projects. You know,
like when your partner or that other person in your

(01:18:26):
life becomes a project for you to handle, then that
you're in the wrong place. You're in the wrong place.
You can be you can be hurt, you can have baggage,
you can have all of those things and still not
have to be a project for somebody. Right, But when

(01:18:47):
you're looking to someone else to fix you, to fill
a broken piece, to fill the hole that has been left,
when that becomes codependency and not relationship, that becomes toxic
and not healthy. Right. So it's like when somebody has

(01:19:09):
to manipulate you into staying or manipulate you into believing
that you are needed and wanted and that if you
don't do what they need you to do, that you're
not worthy. That is a toxic problem. That is a problem.
You should come and be able to feel like you

(01:19:30):
can be in your space just the way you are
and still be accepted, but also hold that person accountable
for their own stuff, like my damage is not an
excuse for me to treat you like garbage. Heck no,
And if you're not going to stand yeah, and if

(01:19:51):
you're not going to stand your ground as my partner
and hold that boundary. Then I've got a wonder. Are
you just as broken as me because two broken people
can't fix anything.

Speaker 5 (01:20:04):
Nope, nine ten times the answer is yes.

Speaker 1 (01:20:09):
It's just that you know what we don't say.

Speaker 5 (01:20:12):
Man, we don't say nothing because, like you know, like
we got well. I can't speak for anybody else, but
I got so used to well. They get so used
to the point where it's like, ah, I'm so broken.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it, that it be.

Speaker 2 (01:20:30):
But if you know you're broken, you need to come
with that. You need to come correct and say listen,
I right now am broken, but it's not your responsibility
to fix me. If you can hang out with me,
if you can hold on with me, I promise you
I will break, I will fix my pieces, I will

(01:20:50):
come to you correctly. I will manage my stuff. And
also these guys who think that they have to do
it all by themselves. No, if you feel that you're
broken doesn't mean that you can't come to me and
say that. I can't have you expecting me to fix it. However,
when you keep it from me, you're also not giving

(01:21:12):
me an opportunity to be supported. You're not giving me
the opportunity to be your equal. You know, you're not
giving me the opportunity to be an adult and to
allow myself to choose you if you're not even going
to choose you, you know, like because when you shut
me out, when when you don't make me a part

(01:21:34):
of the solution, then that's making you a bigger problem.

Speaker 1 (01:21:39):
Yeah, and it all, it all comes down. It all
comes down to uncommunicated expectations, you know what I'm saying,
Like we have that. Yeah, you have to be able
to express what it is you want, need and you
need and it needs to it needs to be heard,
needs to be said. And if it's huh, how do

(01:22:01):
you expect your partner to be able to help help
or or stand by you or do whatever it is
make the choice.

Speaker 2 (01:22:12):
Or even make the choice to walk away in the beginning,
Because when you don't voice those unverbalized expectations, needs, or wants,
you're not giving the other person the opportunity to not
hurt you. You're actually giving them more time to hurt you.
Because if you don't put it out on the table,

(01:22:33):
like she said, if you don't put everything on the table.
You're leaving things unset, undone unknown. And this goes way
way back to a story I told you guys a
while ago about somebody that I was dating or trying
to talk to at least who uh who had diabetes,
and I guess he was. So he was so traumatized

(01:22:56):
by the fact that there were women out there who
didn't want to accept the diabetes that he started to
get defensive about it, and so then he stopped staring
to the point where he actually moved the right one.
What are you doing, Doug, yo?

Speaker 5 (01:23:12):
Back yo, I'm just like like, move.

Speaker 1 (01:23:17):
My hand around my he's making a whole lot of noise.

Speaker 5 (01:23:22):
Yeah, hold on, y y, you know what, let me
switch her phones ecstatic. I can't prepare it.

Speaker 2 (01:23:29):
Good. This So so he basically out of fear, out
of fear of what other people had done to him,
he couldn't see that I wasn't going to do the
same thing. So in his efforts to hide or or
or not be a burden he felt to someone, he

(01:23:52):
hid things from me that were very important for me
to know, which would have gave him given me the
opportunity to make a choice. So things just kept going
and going and going. It was just kind of like
we were running. He was getting more connected and all
this kind of stuff. He was falling more and more

(01:24:13):
and more until the whole truth finally came out. And
then that's when I said, dude, like I needed to
know this from the door. Oh, but I was afraid.
I didn't want to feel like a burden. I was like, dude,
if you told me this stuff in the beginning, I
would have still respected. I would have still I would

(01:24:36):
have still been able to make choices. I would have
still been able to I was not going to just
drop you because this was an issue, but because you
hid that from me, you got it to a point
where I could no longer deal with the consequences of
what you were hiding. You could have given it all
to me in the beginning so that I could prepare myself.

(01:24:56):
I wasn't going to just drop you because you had
to deal with A B and C. But now you
allowed yourself to be a part of this relationship or
trying to have this relationship that now I can't try.
I feel like I can't trust you because now you've
done shit in my bed, Like oh damn, you know,

(01:25:19):
like it's it's I mean, it's it's it's a metaphor
as well as you know other things. You know, It's
like it's like I had every right, you know, because
now you allowed yourself to get caught up. Now you
caught feelings for me, but you didn't give me all
the information I needed. And it would have been better
had you told me this in the beginning and not

(01:25:40):
got caught up and given me the opportunity to make
a choice in the beginning. Then to just lead me
into this false unless you know, giving me this false
set of security that really didn't exist, and essentially you lied.

(01:26:07):
And once you lie to me, I can't trust you anymore,
you know, like once for me again, I'm not going
to say because I'm a Leo, but as as a
Leo personality, if you don't give me all the information
I need to make my educated choice and decision. When

(01:26:29):
I start to find out that you were hiding things
from me that were very pertinent, I've gotta bow out,
not because of who you are, but because of what
you did. So the thing is, because he didn't want
me to leave him for having diabetes, I ended up
leaving because he lied about it. I would. I was

(01:26:52):
totally on board because I was after the person, not
the illness. I could have held all of that down
if you had just trusted me and been vulnerable enough
with me and think me as an adult to give
me the opportunity to show you that I'm not like

(01:27:13):
everybody else. I wasn't going to treat you like everybody else.
But because you were so afraid of what I might do,
you didn't give me all the information I needed, and
so then it led to a very bad situation that
in the end made me feel as though you lied
because technically you lied by omission, and yes, people by

(01:27:37):
not saying something, you are lying because you're hiding. So yes,
it is a lie. It's a lie because you know
there's something there that you're not sharing that could potentially
be bad, that could potentially ruin everything. And it did
because I felt betrayed because I was not given all

(01:27:59):
the information I need it. And so when push came
to shove, because I was trusting you, you showed me
that I couldn't because you can trust information. Yeah, I'm sorry,
go ahead, no, no.

Speaker 1 (01:28:14):
No, So so right now, let's hold on. Let's read
this first, because it was like a big message.

Speaker 2 (01:28:22):
Yeah. So Maria is in a similar situation right now.
She found she found out early about something. It was
brought up briefly and swiftly, and she had to believe
it at the time, but something about it bothered her,
it allowed her. She allowed it to bother her for months,
and when she finally told him it was bothering her

(01:28:44):
and finally asked him the question, she got, Oh, I
don't want to talk about it right now. So right there,
you're telling me you don't trust me with you, So
then that means you don't trust me to be your partner.

Speaker 5 (01:29:01):
Certain things are hard to talk about.

Speaker 2 (01:29:03):
Okay, there's one thing about being hard to talk about,
and there's another thing about totally not talking about it right.

Speaker 5 (01:29:10):
Certain people don't know how to speak to you know
what I'm saying, how to express themself.

Speaker 2 (01:29:14):
But you gotta at least but you gotta at least
allow people to know that there is something there, you know, like,
you can't just hide it. Because the thing is, if
you a relationship this and this is coming from a therapist, Okay, people,
a relationship therapist, Why in the world do you want

(01:29:39):
to be with someone that you cannot feel comfortable enough
to know things about you that you will not willingly
share with anyone else. That is the purpose of a partner, right.
It might take you a while to get there, and
that's fine. That's fine because some.

Speaker 1 (01:29:59):
People get your head in that direction.

Speaker 2 (01:30:01):
Yeah, some people's damage is so bad and they can't
talk about it, they don't want to talk about it.
But if you're telling me that you love me, you
at least have to let me know that there's something
that eventually needs to be talked about. If you're hiding

(01:30:23):
that there's damage at all, that is lying because you're
telling me that you don't trust me enough that I
can know this about you. Because again, for me as
a woman, although I cannot heal you, I cannot fix you,

(01:30:45):
and I cannot put you together. You're not a craft project.
I can be supportive, loving, caring. I can be there
and hold space for you you while you are managing
that issue.

Speaker 1 (01:31:03):
That's why such thing as d Y I yeah, do
it yourself?

Speaker 2 (01:31:13):
Why baby, d I Y?

Speaker 7 (01:31:18):
The moment you do it, that is not but that's
not it yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:31:25):
Again, if you go to yourself relationship yourself, if you
go into a true relationship, if you go into a
committed relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:31:35):
I'm not talking about just talking.

Speaker 1 (01:31:36):
To somebody different committed relationship. First thing you want to
tell that person is something.

Speaker 2 (01:31:46):
Yeah, there's something that I need you to know because
it's a big thing for me, and I need you
to understand it's big for me.

Speaker 5 (01:31:54):
Hey, look, you know what that is?

Speaker 2 (01:31:56):
Too cute? Where did you get that?

Speaker 1 (01:31:59):
I am held in contempt of court. I have to
pay a five thousand dollars fine and ten days in jail.

Speaker 2 (01:32:05):
Melissa's like, get the gavel.

Speaker 5 (01:32:09):
You better wrap that gavel up, b.

Speaker 1 (01:32:12):
Oh shit.

Speaker 2 (01:32:15):
Up, cause if you're gonna be in a committed relationship
with me, I'm gonna let you know this right now.
I'm giving you everything. I've got, everything that's under the hood.
I am trusting you because you know what, in my
life I need but one person. I only need one
person to absolutely give everything to, to absolutely be vulnerable with.

(01:32:38):
And if that is not my partner, then I don't
want you. I don't need you. I don't want you.
I don't like those videos you see on on like Facebook,
the reels and stuff where it's like if if our
love don't look like this, I don't want it.

Speaker 1 (01:32:56):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:32:57):
If I can't if I can't be vulnerable with you,
if I can't be goofy with you, if I can't
be nasty with you, if I can't be me, if
I cannot be my true self and give you all
that I have, then I don't need you to be.

Speaker 1 (01:33:12):
We can't wear a match in pajamas for Christmas.

Speaker 2 (01:33:14):
Yes, yes, I don't want it.

Speaker 5 (01:33:17):
I don't want If you know what's applot to us
about that, it'd be you know what I'm saying. It
would be the right message, but the wrong messenger because
the messenger, you know, yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 7 (01:33:27):
The messenger will be like, damn, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (01:33:30):
You look at the messages like it just like your
fifth relationship this year talking this shit or you know
what I'm saying, or like the messages is like extremely toxic.

Speaker 7 (01:33:40):
Tell her about this relationship. How about you get a
relationship with yourself?

Speaker 2 (01:33:44):
Yes, yes, how about you learn how to live with
you before you be trying to live with somebody else,
because if you can't live with you, why in the
world would I want to live with you. That's that's powerful, dove, No.

Speaker 5 (01:34:03):
That's the true besides that another baby on the way.

Speaker 2 (01:34:07):
And if you're what not for me? Oh oh my gosh.
I was about it to be like what.

Speaker 7 (01:34:17):
Not for me?

Speaker 1 (01:34:22):
It's true. If you can't match my goofy, you either
keep it moving.

Speaker 2 (01:34:25):
Yeah, And you know what, there's also like I have
to admit, although I think I like goofy, I'm not goofy.
But I'm also like people see me as serious. But
the truth is, if you really know me, if you
really take the time to know me, right, I'm only
serious about things that mean something to me. Right. So

(01:34:49):
when you start, when I start to feel like you're
disrespecting something that I find very important, that's when I'm serious.
That's when I'm not playing no more. But I love
to joke and be and busted up with the best
of them. There's just certain things that people find funny

(01:35:10):
that really aren't, that really aren't to me. You know,
like people think I'm uptight. You know what I'm gonna
tell you from the door. I am a rule follower.
I will bend a rule, but I will not break it.
I'm not out there cheating the system. I'm not out
there buying people's food stamps. I'm not doing all this stuff. Now,

(01:35:31):
I don't judge people who do that because that's your thing.
But what she said, Oh, I'm a whole vibe. I
love letting my hair down. Now, I'm not loosey goosey.
I don't drink. I don't do drugs, I don't smoke.
I don't do those things. But that's personal preference.

Speaker 7 (01:35:49):
You know you are polar opposites.

Speaker 5 (01:35:52):
Yeah, yeah, the polar because like and that's okay, like
how you feel about the system. I see it's nate,
no like. But the reason I feel that way because
because I know for a fact that the system is riten.

Speaker 2 (01:36:12):
And it might be you know what it might be.
But the thing is, what's that? What she said? She
said me, either either what Melissa.

Speaker 5 (01:36:25):
Na has made a great song is playing.

Speaker 2 (01:36:30):
You? Either what Melissa I need to know? You either
what my thing is? Because I have needed the system
and but not been able to access it. But then
I watched the people who don't need the system play
it all a fool. So I but see that no drugs,

(01:36:53):
no drinking, good for you, Melissa. And for me, that's
just a preference. It's a preference. I don't I just
don't like it. I don't like the way it makes
me feel. I also have to realize my boundaries. I
come from a family that has addiction, you know, different
types of addictions, so I have to be mindful. I
have to care, you know, and and honestly, I do

(01:37:14):
have an addiction that I am in recovery, and that's food. Right.

Speaker 5 (01:37:19):
Yeah, Look, you know what. Everybody's addicted to something?

Speaker 2 (01:37:24):
Yeah, everybody, everybody.

Speaker 5 (01:37:25):
Everybody, everybody has an addition, some of it.

Speaker 2 (01:37:28):
Some some are healthy and some are very unhealthy. And
I'm you know what I'm I'm battling that and I'm
working with it. But I also recognize that it's an
issue for me, so I'm doing something about it.

Speaker 1 (01:37:43):
That's true. Nice and food said it best.

Speaker 2 (01:37:45):
Yeah, but you have to but you have to be
open to recognizing that it's the people who are in
denial that make it a problem. Right. So so you're like,
F the system, right, I don't say F the system
becase because even if it is rigged, even though it
is rigged, or the potential that it is, it only

(01:38:07):
takes one person to ruin it for everybody, there are
truly people out there who are in need of these things,
and if we're out there. Hello, my name is Melissa,
and I am a chocoholic girlfriend. I am in your
lane when I feel bad, that's the first thing I
want to do. Go spend me some money.

Speaker 5 (01:38:28):
But you have you know what about that? You know, like, yeah,
I mean being a chocoholic is an issue. But like
when you're feeling bad or whatever and you feel that
you want to reinvent yourself and you have the means
to do it, why not.

Speaker 2 (01:38:42):
But that's the keyperd dubs the means to do it.
We go out there, and I'll be the first one
to admit it, we go out there spending money that
we truly don't have to make ourselves feel better, but
then we put ourselves in a worse situation.

Speaker 5 (01:38:57):
And regret it later. Yeah I know, yeh likes.

Speaker 2 (01:39:00):
And then we have a difficult time making it back up.
We have a difficult time getting back on our feet
after we've done slipped up and made a decision saying well,
oh well, oh well, we can't say oh well right,
we can treat ourselves. We should treat ourselves. We should
care about ourselves before we go around caring for everybody else. Definitely,

(01:39:22):
if we don't put our air mask on first, how
are we supposed to help anybody else put theirs on?

Speaker 7 (01:39:28):
So, yes, this is.

Speaker 2 (01:39:30):
I see care mask not face masks. Oh, oh my gosh,
I'm talking about the plane. When the plane is going down,
and they tell you put your face mask on first,
your air on first, so that you can help.

Speaker 5 (01:39:45):
Other people, and and you know what, and they also
tell you put your you know, put your head between
your knees and kiss you ask the bye, especially if
you're flying with spirit.

Speaker 7 (01:39:55):
If you fly spirit, I feel bad for you. He
fly spirit going to end up becoming.

Speaker 2 (01:40:00):
Oh look he brought the baby.

Speaker 9 (01:40:03):
Okay, hi, I mean say hello, hello, Hey, I ev
I know, I know you know my voice.

Speaker 5 (01:40:14):
I know you recommend my voice.

Speaker 1 (01:40:16):
I got the headset on.

Speaker 5 (01:40:17):
She don't hear many you ever played a dog whistle?

Speaker 2 (01:40:30):
Yeah, they have. They're on a whole nother level now
all done. So it's like, we do have to take
care of ourselves, but we also have to be you know,
self aware, you know, we we have to know us
before we can be trying to know other people. And
that's the issue. Okay, so real quick, this is a

(01:40:51):
good example of this, right And I love the man
to pieces he's my father. Without him, I wouldn't exist
on this earth anyway in the flesh. However, this man
is seventy seven years old and has never in my

(01:41:13):
entire life, and he hasn't been in my life a
whole lot. But I have never known him to be alone.
And he admitted to me this weekend he doesn't know
how to be alone. And that is a problem. That
is a problem. When people cannot be by themselves, then

(01:41:39):
there's an issue. That's a red flag for me. If
you're telling me you just got out of a long
term relationship less than a year or two ago, I
gotta think twice, bro, Like, we could be friends, we
could build, we could get to know each other. But
I am getting into a relationship with you because that

(01:42:00):
tells me you can't be alone.

Speaker 5 (01:42:03):
You know what, though, Like the best way to get
over someone's to get under someone.

Speaker 2 (01:42:09):
All right by, it was good seeing you.

Speaker 5 (01:42:13):
Let me get you tomorrow, Well, twelve hour shift, I'll stop.

Speaker 2 (01:42:20):
Good luck tomorrow too.

Speaker 5 (01:42:23):
He Look, you know what, if you're doing twelve hours
on your feet, definitely good luck. Definitely, Melissa, bea have
a good night.

Speaker 2 (01:42:33):
Will we be back again? Soon and hopefully we'll see you.
You have a great night to Melissa, thank you for for.

Speaker 5 (01:42:41):
Someone you know what you know. I'm reading that, have
a great night until next time. I wanted to play
that old school Batman thing. Then I don't know why
you should you should download that thing.

Speaker 2 (01:42:53):
I figured you were figured.

Speaker 5 (01:42:56):
Yeah, she's on her feet. Oh man, God bless good luck.

Speaker 2 (01:43:01):
But let me tell you. We need you, We love you,
We appreciate you. Oh yeah, important, You're important, very important. Yeah, dum,
A nurse made a big, big deal in my life
once upon a time, and so we appreciate you. Yeah.
So yeah, it's it's it's about knowing, knowing you, being

(01:43:25):
comfortable in your skin, being comfortable. Amanda works ten hours
a day on her feet, but she dives one hour there.

Speaker 7 (01:43:35):
Oh, she drives one hour there.

Speaker 2 (01:43:39):
That's what he wrote. I died.

Speaker 7 (01:43:42):
What do you mean you dive? You work at bikini bottle.

Speaker 5 (01:43:44):
Let me find out.

Speaker 2 (01:43:47):
And I hear you, Amanda, I get up at four am,
not to go to work, but to go to the gym.
She stayed alone for two years, not because nobody wanted me,
but because I needed time to myself. Before I never
see a single longer than a few months. That's and
and that's exactly right. If people cannot yes, we knew.

Speaker 5 (01:44:06):
What you Yeah, yeah, she dies, she wants to share
what sponge for the next like you know what I'm
saying a couple of hours and stuffy no, but but
but you know what the thing.

Speaker 2 (01:44:18):
Is, give yourself a chance.

Speaker 5 (01:44:21):
You know what the thing is, man Like a lot
of people just afraid of who they are or who
they became.

Speaker 2 (01:44:29):
You know, like yes, but if if, if you can't
deal with being afraid of who you are and kind
of course correcting yourself, how are you going to be
any good for anyone else? Become that toxic relationship?

Speaker 5 (01:44:47):
See, and that's the thing, Like all right, let me
give you know what. I'll talk about my past real quick.
So yeah, I was scared to be alone. That's the
reason why I like, whatever something failed, I got a
new one this week. Or the best part was like
when I felt like it was failing, I had a
safety that I didn't want to fall then like you know,

(01:45:11):
but you.

Speaker 2 (01:45:13):
Can do that getting into another relationship.

Speaker 5 (01:45:17):
But see, but we're seeing that here's the thing though,
Like I don't want to get a relationship they felt
they fall for me, you know, and I'm like, oh,
you know what, I feel bad, like I felt pressure
to feel bad.

Speaker 2 (01:45:27):
I'm like, okay, I gotta put the boundary. You gotta
put the boundary, especially you made it, especially if you
made it known in the beginning.

Speaker 5 (01:45:39):
But hold up though, so like so like after my
last relationship, I took I took time off. When I
say time off, I took time off like I would
say like two years, like yeah, you know I was
having my fun here and there? Why not? You know,
like how got needs right?

Speaker 2 (01:45:56):
But you made that known. They knew what they were
getting into.

Speaker 5 (01:46:00):
But like my girl, now you know, she came along
or whatever, right, you know los whatever. And then she
asked me if she asked what we're doing. I was like, yeah,
I'm playing how it goes. You know that She didn't
like to answer, but I'm told her truth. I'm how

(01:46:21):
it goes because you know, like I want to you
know what I'm saying, like I want to make sure
that you know you know what I'm saying, Like this was,
you know, a thing and not just a thing for
the moment.

Speaker 2 (01:46:37):
Okay, did she walk away when you told her that? No? Okay,
So that's the thing, right, What would you have done
if she said, well, I'm sorry, but that's not where I'm.

Speaker 5 (01:46:49):
At, accepted for what it is? Would you have just
I have to accept it for what it is because
because you know what it was to.

Speaker 7 (01:47:00):
Fear, right, I have to get over that fear. When
I was getting over.

Speaker 2 (01:47:06):
How do you know that you really care about her?
If you're not afraid she's going to walk away?

Speaker 5 (01:47:15):
How did I know? Oh? Simple?

Speaker 7 (01:47:19):
You know, because like I'm the man that's you know
what I'm saying, Like look at me.

Speaker 2 (01:47:24):
You know what? Just when I like, you know, I'm
just playing, I.

Speaker 7 (01:47:30):
Don't I'm just playing playing, I'm playing.

Speaker 5 (01:47:33):
I'm playing.

Speaker 2 (01:47:33):
I'm playing, and I can't with you.

Speaker 5 (01:47:37):
I love you too, I love you too.

Speaker 2 (01:47:40):
You Just when I start to care about and get
a little soft in the middle for you, you gotta
do something, you know what? You right back up?

Speaker 5 (01:47:51):
You know what? A jo society? JO society?

Speaker 1 (01:47:53):
Right? A society? One?

Speaker 5 (01:47:55):
Did I know? It was one? Like we're having a conversation,
and I started like thinking in my mind and like
if she needs it? Was like, you know what if
we stop talking, I know I'm gonna feel hurt. I
know it, Like I know I'm going to feel like

(01:48:16):
I know I'm gonna feel it. No, because like because
like you know, what the vibe was the Bible was different. Next, seriously,
the vibe is different. And it's like I got along
with her. I'm like, yo, you know what's cool ass person?
You know? And and and and then like you know,

(01:48:37):
like what like whenever I would like not being around him, right,
I'll be getting yo. No, Lie, I used to be
getting mad. Saied to be like I don't want to
call it. Damn I want to call it. I don't
want to call it. Damn it. I feel like calling it.
I don't want to call this is what I want
through No Lie, Like, yeah I want to call it.

(01:48:59):
No the hell you're not, but stand your ground. I'm
gonna call it. Yeah, I'll text you all right back.

Speaker 1 (01:49:06):
You know.

Speaker 5 (01:49:07):
Like it was like you ever seen the cartoons where
you got the angel on the double on the shoulder, Yeah, yeah, right,
The one on the left was like, don't caller, the
one on the right was like caller. I was like, yeah,
how about we both come to an agreement text.

Speaker 1 (01:49:25):
Okay?

Speaker 6 (01:49:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:49:28):
So then like you know, find the right words too,
it's like like, you know, like it was kind of hard,
like I didn't like coming out, you know, especially my heart.

Speaker 7 (01:49:36):
But you know, just when I was about to I'm
pregnant and I'm like, yo, what's wait? What you know?

Speaker 5 (01:49:45):
And like that brought on another fear because of like
you know, like even like with my past, you know,
dealing with my kids, mothers and stuff even and I'll
admit it as a man, yeah, like like like both

(01:50:10):
of them are you know saying both of a toss
of situations. But you know, looking back, I mean when
they'res fired, you know what I'm saying, and I'm here
pouring gasoline on it, you know, like I mean, what
do you expect?

Speaker 1 (01:50:23):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:50:24):
So well, because this is another honest Wednesday, I just
have to ask this if you, if you are not
in a committed relationship with this woman, why in the
freaking world would you be raw dog in it?

Speaker 5 (01:50:42):
Actually we were. It's just that I was open up
more right, like like.

Speaker 2 (01:50:50):
You know, like you but you just said you were
just letting it ride.

Speaker 7 (01:50:56):
Yeah, at first committed.

Speaker 2 (01:50:58):
That's not a committed relationship. And then she pops up, yo,
know what, it was my choice?

Speaker 5 (01:51:06):
No, you know what you know what it was. It
was the fact that you know, all, yo, it's not
messed up. This sounds messed up. It sounds messed up, like.

Speaker 2 (01:51:20):
Those questions like don't nobody want to.

Speaker 1 (01:51:22):
Hear I'm saying?

Speaker 5 (01:51:26):
And I'm like, I'm away from the I'm not I'm
not yo. Yeah, yeah, look, you know what I mean.
Obviously the love was there, it's just that it was
like it was so hard for me to It was
so hard for me to like pull out no man,
no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no stuff. It was like so hard.

Speaker 2 (01:51:47):
We're kind of a shamed. I'm kind of.

Speaker 5 (01:51:49):
Wait wait wait wait wait wait, it's so hard for
me to be like you know what I'm saying because
because yo, you know what, it was so hard for
me to be like, Yo, you know what this is
what we on right? That ship was hard, man, Like, like, yo,
you know what I'm talking about it. I'm getting rumbus
right now because it's like like it's like like certain

(01:52:11):
things that's still like like like I tell her, I
love it at that it's true in a good place.

Speaker 2 (01:52:17):
When when's the ring coming.

Speaker 5 (01:52:20):
After my lawsuit?

Speaker 2 (01:52:22):
Kay?

Speaker 7 (01:52:23):
You know you're invited by the way. Oh I'm gonna
be a pop pop.

Speaker 2 (01:52:28):
What which one.

Speaker 5 (01:52:33):
The oldest one?

Speaker 2 (01:52:35):
Okay, congratulations? You know what, I don't care if you
know the rhythm method up and down, back and forth.
If you and I are not exclusive, you are not
coming nowhere near me without a raincoat on. I have
made no, no, not no. I am too valuable and

(01:52:58):
give too much to put myself in that position anymore.
I don't care if you like it or not. You
trying to come at me and and and you're not
caring enough about your health or my health or the
possibilities lives into this world. No, no, I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 (01:53:21):
Yeah, but you know what though, one thing I noticed
that not everyone can make children. That is true, you
know so, I mean and like you said, you know
what that to God? I know we don't talk this,
you know about you know what I'm saying God as
much on this, But that was God's way of like
really calming me down, because you know what, you know,

(01:53:43):
like prior to this, you know, like prior to like
you know, everything, like I.

Speaker 7 (01:53:50):
Was like, no, I don't care this that and the
third and thene like you know, it was a calm.

Speaker 5 (01:53:54):
It was at a slowdown period, Like I started looking
at life a little different after I'll be honest, this
is you know what I'm saying. After my DUI, I
started looking at my life a little different. I'm like, yo,
you know what, I need to go down, like like
you know, I need to start like you know, growing up,
falling back, you know what, fall them back, and like

(01:54:16):
analyzing everything that I've done into corrected and there, because
you know what, obviously you know what, I'm at the
drawing board drawing up a game, planning my game absolutely sucks.

Speaker 7 (01:54:25):
Yah, the true hell yeah in the Rocks voice.

Speaker 1 (01:54:31):
So like.

Speaker 5 (01:54:34):
I had to fall back and like you know, like
analyze everything and every moment and then come to realize that, Yo,
you know what, they weren't a problem. I was the
problem or you know what, and if I wasn't a problem,
I was part of the problem.

Speaker 2 (01:54:52):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 5 (01:54:53):
You know because because because you know what, either which way,
no matter how you you know, like like no, maotter,
how you slice the part your hand is always going
to be part of that problem either which way, you know,
like and the hardest thing for anybody on this planet
walking this planet right now, The hardest thing for anybody

(01:55:13):
to do is admit that they're the problem. Nobody wants
to hear you're the problem, you know, not even yourself,
not even yourself, you know, and especially when product ego,
you know, is paramount at the moment. You know, Like

(01:55:34):
like you know, like a lot of people walk around
with the attitude and I was one of them. A
lot of people walk around with the attitude like you
can't tell me you shouldn't even if I stepped in it.
So you know, when you try to tell someone, yo,
you're the problem and they have that, you know, that mentality,
they're gonna brush you off, like, nah, I'm the solution,
you know, because like like you said before's between being

(01:55:56):
confident and arrogance. To me, there's a very thin line.
The line is like really done, like angel hair pasta thin.

Speaker 1 (01:56:03):
I can't stand angel hair pasta yo.

Speaker 5 (01:56:06):
But I'm just saying, you know, like it's that thin.
You know what I'm saying, it's donal flaws thin. You know,
between cocky and arrogance. It's not that hard to trust
over the you know, I mean it's not I mean
confidence of arrogance.

Speaker 7 (01:56:19):
It's not that hard to trust over the arrogance it
really is not.

Speaker 5 (01:56:23):
It's a it's like a tornail way, you know, before
you slip into the arrogance zone. And that's one thing
I noticed because I couldn't. I couldn't, you know, like
like you know what, like I joke around with my
you know what I'm saying, I arrogantly joke around, but
something you know what I'm saying, Like you joke around
so much, you keep saying this so much you start

(01:56:43):
to believing you know what I'm saying. There's a good
possibility that you're lying to yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:56:48):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 7 (01:56:48):
And a lot of people do a lot of people
a lot to themselves.

Speaker 5 (01:56:52):
So remember that.

Speaker 2 (01:56:53):
Every time you say it's show joke talking about I'm
just joking. I'm just joking. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you know what you're thinking.

Speaker 7 (01:57:01):
But hold on, though I am joking, I am joking.

Speaker 5 (01:57:04):
You want to know why because.

Speaker 2 (01:57:06):
But if it's something you know so much, there's gotta
be a reason.

Speaker 5 (01:57:10):
No, no, no, you know what I'm joking about it.
You want to know why because I was joking with
my girl, right, you know, like, oh, she was asking
me about football, right, and she was like and she
was like, oh, so does that count as like two points.
And I'm like, yo, look, you know, like and I'm
I'm here trying to explain it, and that she didn't,
you know, like she understood me. She didn't understood joke,

(01:57:33):
was like pitch. Now. She looked at me. She was like,
all right, you know that's where the nights are at, right.
I was like, she said, then you know where the
frying pants at right. I'm like, oh, oh, double two?
See okay, you know, like I'm like, okay, you know
you got me there. You know what I'm saying, Like, so,
you know, joke, But that's but that's banter.

Speaker 2 (01:57:55):
But that's witty banter between two people who are that
way with one another. You do that knowing I am
who I am and you are who you are, And
there is no way under God's green earth you're gonna
say some of the stuff you say and expect me
to witty banter with you. I'm just gonna be like,
I can't with you and cut you.

Speaker 8 (01:58:19):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (01:58:20):
She's gonna cut you, bro. She's gotta blade in her mouth.

Speaker 10 (01:58:23):
Be careful, Oh the bladed under the tongue or inside.
It was better under the tongue because it came out.
It came out like natural lets then you start slicing away.

Speaker 1 (01:58:36):
All right. Well, with that being said, great should to
night people. Awesome show tonight. That is a lady G.

Speaker 5 (01:58:53):
Hold on wait real quick? Is it is it ringing
down by your way? Lady G?

Speaker 2 (01:58:59):
Say that again? Yes, it's pooring.

Speaker 5 (01:59:03):
Did you guys get a basket on yesterday?

Speaker 2 (01:59:06):
We're getting it today and yesterday now because we just
they just a tornado watch this evening.

Speaker 5 (01:59:15):
Yes, yes, that's what I was about to disput a
be careful, I be careful out there.

Speaker 7 (01:59:21):
Yeah you heard?

Speaker 1 (01:59:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:59:23):
All right, you know like yo know what.

Speaker 2 (01:59:28):
You know, like you're gonna I'm gonna be the lady
riding around on the bicycle on the wind.

Speaker 5 (01:59:38):
With a little bit with a little with a little bell,
with a little bell that the dumb bell.

Speaker 1 (01:59:48):
That's lady gee. That's just a Simon Phoenix. This has
been another episode of this my podcast, and always your mind.
I always remember that at some point everybody.

Speaker 5 (02:00:04):
Good night,

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