March 13, 2025 • 67 mins
Big Corleone and the crew are at it again. They're back with Non-Stop Insight, advice and straight out Shenanigans. It's all Real fun, Real Life and Real Talk and If that doesn't hurt, well keep in mind that This Might Hurt!!!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Ys, Hey, what's up everybody? It is being call on
(01:34):
for this Might Herd podcast. Come to you live from
you know how we do where we come where live
from in Jersey, PA, South Jersey. I'm not going to
say Central Jersey because there is no Central Jersey, you
know how it is. Let me bring in my co host,
the lovely Lady g Oh, how are you?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I'm great?
Speaker 3 (02:02):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I I'm good. I'm good, you know, just just chilling
and doing what we do here at the show. You know, So,
how how's your how's your last two weeks been?
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Uh, they've been great.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Just getting some learning on and you know, fixing things
in life, trying to be a better person, you know.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
All the good stuff.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, that is good stuff, good stuff, great stuff. So
we're gonna have TG. Should be here shortly, Simon Phoenix
should be here shortly, so we'll see how things go
with that tonight. But I want to start off with
(02:52):
nothing political, nothing religious, even though that's all the that
that's the talk of the town right now, everything that's
going on in politics and religion and all that other stuff.
But here at the show, we don't do that. But
you know, we're here to help you, give you knowledge,
give you advice, give you whatever it is you feel
(03:13):
you need in your day to day life, whatever it is.
Doc Thought is in the building to do. So you
have fans, let me tell you, Yes, you do. And
and I don't know why. That's why I put the
email addresses at the bottom of the screen so you
guys can directly, you know, hit up your favorite host.
(03:38):
But you have you have, so you have some fans.
I'm telling you, don't don't sleep on the Doc Thought.
I is on top of things here. You know how
we do. You know TG has a couple sibn Phoenix,
don't have any really anybody who has something to say
about about him. It's it's in a negative light, and
(04:00):
don't want to go there. They just think he's too brash.
When he gets he'll let him defend himself. They think
he's too brash and he's too too much sometimes And
I'm like, but you know, sometimes the world needs to
know how people really feel, you know what I'm saying.
So that that is, that is what it is. You
(04:22):
know what I mean? And maybe he might not show
up tonight. Let's see hold on one second. Let me
just all right, Well, he won't be showing up tonight.
Just got that notification. Okay, so it's just gonna be
(04:45):
me and the ladies, lucky mean lucky me. Right, all right,
so first things first, we have some emails we got
to get to, and I don't know if I should
if we should wait for TG, but I'll start off
(05:10):
with one and we'll I guess she'll. I have a
feeling she'll show up while we're talking about this one.
It's usually gonna get going, gets good. She pops up, mmhmm. Yeah.
All right, So here it is. You know, my birthdays
next week?
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Snay, yeah, early birthday.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be old, but I
feel great and I just want everyone to know that, right.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
You really make sixty look good?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I make a pretty damn good
sixty year old, don't I.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
You're still sexy at sixty.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Yeah, yeah, that's sixty. That's so funny. Gonna be, we're
gonna be. We're gonna be making millions of dollars by
the time I'm sixty. We're gonna be making a lot
of money at this So all right, so here we go.
Let's start off with this one. I have been with
my boyfriend for ten years, and I'm considering throwing in
(06:22):
the towel. All right, let's see what we got here.
She's a thirty two year old female. I moved away
from my friends and family to move in with my boyfriend,
who's thirty six. As soon as I moved in, he
(06:43):
pressured me to get a job and start contributing. I
was fine with that, and I got a job and
have had a stable job ever since. He ended up
losing his job because he had disagreements with his boss.
(07:03):
We moved into a different state and started over. He
found some work, but it was not much. I have
gone to school and work towards a career, and I'm
doing pretty good. He has not had a stable job
since we started dating. He works three to five months
(07:27):
out of the year and not even forty hours a week.
Right now, I pay for everything mortgage, food bills, et cetera.
When I bring up When I bring it up to
him that our financial situation is not fifty to fifty
or even sixty forty, he gets mad and says I
(07:49):
care more about money. I'm frustrated because I have to
clean up after him, think of things to have to
do for dinner, et cetera, et cetera. It's not just
financial either, financials either. He gets very irritated with me,
and I feel like I walk on eggshells and do
(08:12):
whatever I can so he doesn't have to have a
temper tantrum. He's also mentioned how he's in a better
mood when he has sex, and he treats me so
much better if I give in. Also, I feel like
(08:32):
there's so much I can't do because if it isn't
done the way he thinks is the correct way, then
it won't work. I haven't been in a lot of relationships,
but I really don't feel what I have going on
is healthy. Is this situation worth working through? Or is
(08:55):
it my time to walk away? Thank you for this email?
Speak speak.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
All right.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Ultimately, the thing is, if you were in a relationship
and you're not feeling fulfilled, whether it you know on
some level spiritually, emotionally, physically, anytime you're in a relationship,
(09:30):
you should not have to feel like you're walking on
eggshell and people, No, relationships are not easy.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
They require work.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
But when you feel like you're being stifled, you're not
able to grow. You know, there's constant turmoil that's very toxic,
and people don't realize even if it's worked for you
for a while, you know, this is just how you
guys are. Doesn't necessarily mean it's healthy. Right, So when
(10:03):
you can't genuinely be yourself, then you're pretending to be
someone that you're not, and that doesn't work long term.
You know, the logistics of the matter, you know, moving in,
contributing all that kind of stuff. I mean, that's definitely uh,
(10:25):
whatever you guys have agreed on, right, But a lot
of times people fail to have these really hard and
tough conversations before they move in with each other, before
they get married, right before they.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Become you know, exclusive.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
And you know we've talked about stuff like that before, Corleone,
you know how you were saying, having having those those
conversations about you know, intentional expectations, and you know, like
if we don't talk about expectations beforehand.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
It's all about the uncommunicated expectations as what yeah brings up.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Yeah, because we have to stop thinking that everybody is
the way that we are, that everybody was raised the
way we are, you know, you know, as men and women,
we could be in the same situation and see it
very differently. So corleone, what what to you might be
clean to me as a woman might not be clean
(11:26):
right right, and and vice versa. What what I see
as dirty or disorganized to you might be totally normal.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
So it's about understanding one another.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
And relationships, no matter what relationship is, whether it's a friendship,
a romantic relationship, of marriage, should never feel like it's
one sided.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yeah, how do you? How do you? How do you
maneuver a relationship that makes you feel like you're walking
on eggshells?
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And and that then the the reality is that you
can't because there will always be the one person, always
feeling unvalued, un you know, fulfilled. And so the excuses
that he uses about you know, he does better or
feels better when he has sex. I mean, that's all
(12:20):
fine and dandy if that's the way he functions, but
if it's not fulfilling her in any way, then it
doesn't work. Ultimately, she's gonna have to make that choice
is it worth it for her?
Speaker 5 (12:34):
You know?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I talk a lot of times about sometimes, you know,
especially depending on culture, sometimes the idea of settling for
less than what you want or need just for the
(12:56):
just for the having of a relationship. Not being alone
causes a lot of issues, a lot, a lot of problems.
No one should ever be in a relationship just not
to be alone, because you know, there's a saying in Spanish,
(13:17):
and you know that's that's basically like and I say
this every day even as a divorced single woman.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
You know, I would so.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Rather be on my own and at least decently happy.
I mean, it can be a lonely time, but those
are few and far between. But I would rather be
happy alone than really really miserable with someone else, because
you know, that's that's not a good life to live.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
The fact that the guy is not even able to
hold a job.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
And yeah, that that's a big bad flag.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
That is a big red flag. Not being able to
hold a job, only feeling good when he's having sex,
working three to five months out of a year.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
That that's unacceptable.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
That's just you know, and how do you how do
you how do you tell a woman when you get
into a relationship, I mean, not into a relationship, but
you're in a relationship. But how do you tell a woman, oh, yeah,
come live with me. She moves in and right away
she moves in, You're like, boom, this is what you
gotta do. But not fulfilling your end of the bargain.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
That's just the that's just the guy wanting someone to
take over his responsibilities because I'm sorry, you know, and
I'm not talking about you know a lot of people
say it's old school and you're back, you know, you're
dating yourself and all this stuff. But human nature, and
it's not just about upbringing. I mean, upbringing is what
(14:49):
helps men and women to have their values.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
But a man's natural.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
You know, state of mind, is providing, you know, taking
care of protecting, providing. You know, men are hunter gatherers
and women are are the nurturers.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
You know.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
That's that was what we were initially created for. The
man too, you know, was put in charge of all
of the animals and beasts on the earth, you know,
and and women you know, and and again not getting religious,
but the whole idea of what a man provides.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
For a woman, the woman multiplies right.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, thought, okay, TG, Hi, what's good? Thought I was talking?
Speaker 3 (15:50):
I heard all right?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
You know, so it's like a guy provides the food
and then the woman multiplies it into a dinner. The
guy provides money, and she turns it into a flourishing account.
He buys the house and she turns it into a home.
He gives her a seed and she turns it into children.
(16:16):
You know, like that, there's a natural give and take.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I think you're going to say when you said see
it that you're going to say, weed.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Oh gosh, that's.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
You know me.
Speaker 6 (16:32):
No.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
But but yeah, I think I think you're You're absolutely right.
I mean, being in a relationship where you have to
you know, both people.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
Got to be fed.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
One can't be starving and the other one, you know,
well fed. That doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So do you think it's time for her to to
boat out and throw in a towel and start over.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
My advice would be, I think she needs to recognize
her own value and what she deserves, uh uh, beyond
what she's receiving. However, people are not gonna do anything
about their situation unless they are one truly tired and
two prepared prepared to do things on their own. So
(17:15):
it's not gonna work if she's not ready to do it.
So I don't really want to give, you know, advice
of what I think she should do. But from what
I see, uh, I just see toxicity in a one
way relationship that she's never gonna feel fulfilled in, never
gonna be happy with, and and he's really not valuing
(17:36):
what she brings to the table, and he's not providing
anything that she needs.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
She's gonna be bad.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
You like touching that kitty, don't you?
Speaker 3 (17:46):
I do?
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Oh my god, it's so sweet.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
She loves petting the kitty you got, Nie. But yeah,
if you can't, you can't expect to literally maintain a
household and a and a and a fam. I don't
know if they have kids or whatever, but if you're
(18:13):
if you're running it not even fifty fifth, not even
sixty forty, you know, And it's just, you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Just it's just not do the I don't even do
the fifty to fifty. They should both be given their best,
their one hundreds that whatever that looks like.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I mean, if I come home, listen to me, if
I come home, yeah look that, yeah, yeah, listen to me.
If I come home and I'm and I'm fit, I'm
not at one hundred. I want I would I would
hope that my lady would put a hand on my
shoulder and say I got you. Just do what you
gotta do to keep.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Enough in themselves to say this is what I need,
this is what I want.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Yeah, exactly. And if you can't be open and have
that type of communication, then there's no reason, there's no
there's no there's no way, there's no way it works out.
There's no way it works out, you know. I just
I just feel I just feel like my my personal opinion,
tell this dude straight out, like, listen, bro, if you can't,
(19:17):
if you can't hold your own anymore, I'm out. And
if he chooses not to do what he has to
do to make things right and correct them, well, because
it looks like she's being the.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Man right now.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Oh yeah, wait, what's up thing?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Oh yeah, it was so we had it was an email.
This woman said that she moved in with her boyfriend
and right away he moved he moved her in. He
was like, you gotta get a job, you gotta you know,
hold your own whatever, whatever, and she she's been doing everything.
(20:00):
The guy's only been able to hold a job three
or five months out of the year. He only he
only feels good when he has sex, and she feels
like it's time for to throwing the towel, and we're
just talking about it, she said, She said, it's not
even sixty forty, it's not fifty to fifty. She feels
like he's walking on nakeshells all the time. And yeah,
(20:23):
so it's it's a bad situation. So my personal opinion
is if the guy, if he sit him down, have
a conversation with him, give him that opportunity to correct it.
If the guy and it doesn't seem like he's gonna
because if he hasn't, it's been ten years. So if
(20:44):
he hasn't done it already, he's not gonna do it.
What you can't hear me?
Speaker 3 (20:50):
No, I heard say that again? How many years?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Ten? Now?
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Goodbye?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Yeah, exactly. If he's if it's been ten years and
he's not holding up his end of the bargain, showing
you who he.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Is, you've accepted it, he's not changing.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
No, and she's enabled that until now.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Yep, Yeah, absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Sometimes the only people we can blame about our bad
relationships are ourselves because.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
We allow it.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Listen, listen, I know, I know I was. I was
in a relationship that was I felt like I was
walking on glass, not even fucking eggshells. Man, it was terrible,
and I had I got out. It took a long time,
but I got out. But you know what I mean.
(21:46):
So it's possible to get out and and realize that damn,
you know, I I finally see who I am, I
find see my worth. I finally see that I mean
something to myself as well as other people, you know
(22:08):
what I mean. So it's possible to to to throw
on a towel and say fuck you, I'm out.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
Yeah, but you gotta love yourself first.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
If you don't love yourself, of course, loving.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Yourself, love you, then ain't nobody else.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I love me some me, all right, I love me
some me. You know what I mean? I do. I
love me. I love me some cordion man, you know.
And and and if if I didn't, I wouldn't. I
wouldn't be able to do the things I do. You know.
(22:44):
I'm like, sometimes I feel like Rick Flair, Oh my god, yeah,
sometimes I do.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
I'm Rick Flair.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I'm no, I'm not going to grow a mullet. That's
what I can't. I can't grow anything. At this point, you.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Could wear you could rock mulletwig.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah, yeah. At this point, if I try to rock anything,
it's I'm lucky I can rock this, you know what
I'm saying. But but yeah, sometimes I feel sometimes I
feel great, sometimes I feel outstanding. Sometimes I feel I
feel like like damn, you know, I get this this
rush sometimes and then sometimes I feel like damn. But
(23:26):
most of the time I'm starting to get I'm starting
to get into my groove, you know what I mean.
My birthdays next week, and it's like, yo, you know
what's uping?
Speaker 3 (23:35):
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
So anyway, that was that and this one the next email.
Let's see what we have here. Oh, I think TG
is gonna love this one.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Go for TG.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I think you'll love this one. I'll save that one. No, No,
I'm gonna say the best one for last. You should Yeah,
all right. My partner doesn't seem to want to marry me. Okay,
what do I do? All right? My partner doesn't seem
(24:15):
to like the idea of marriage, at least not with me.
We have been together for just under four years, and
I have made it clear that marriage is something that
I want to be, that I want he and I
to experience. Sometimes I say that one day he Sometimes
(24:38):
I think that he will one day proposed to me.
But on the other hand, he gets angry if the
topic ever comes up. Most times when I ask him
about the future, he responds with I'm not sure, or
I have too much going on right now, it's not
a good time to talk about it. Our relationship is
(25:00):
healthy in every other aspect than this. We don't often argue.
Our families get along, we live together, travel together, and
I want to spend the rest of my life with him,
But it seems like he is unsure of me. I
know I would pick him in any situation. I just
(25:20):
don't know if he would pick me. I don't want
to give him an ultimatum, and the idea of leaving
to find love somewhere else seems like a long shot
to me. Is it worth staying or is it better
to leave it in the hopes that I can find
(25:41):
the type of love but with someone who makes me
feel more secure than insecure? All right, and this is
going to go to TG what you can.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
So what I'm hearing is is she wants marriage, but
he doesn't. So she has an expectation to get married
to this man, but it seems like he doesn't. That
was the first thing she said, right like, he doesn't
want marriage, So she has her answer right there. If
that is something you're seeking, if that is something that
(26:19):
you want in your partner, then wouldn't you want your
partner to want the same thing as you like?
Speaker 5 (26:26):
Right?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
I feel like you deserve for someone to pick you.
And if he's not picking you, then you know, why
are you there? Ask yourself why you're staying there? What
are your reasons? Is it because it's been four years,
Because that's not a reason to stay. It's up to
(26:50):
that person what they want to do. But if you
have an expectation of marriage in a relationship, then your
partner should know that and hopefully they're on the same page.
If not, like I just don't. I don't see a
point in like hoping or going back and forth, or
(27:13):
maybe I wouldn't want somebody to say maybe to me
if that's what I want, So I want someone who's
shure and certain of me. If they're not, then then
they're not the person. They're not my person. So don't
you want your person?
Speaker 1 (27:35):
And I think I also think the fact that she's
thinking and saying that I know in every situation I'll
choose him, but I don't know if he'll choose me.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Just this shear fact that you're questioning it and you're
insecure in it. I feel like you are getting your answer.
Ask him straight up if you want, but I guess
be prepared for an answer. It might not be what
(28:06):
you want. You might not get an answer the way
you want it because it depends. It sounds like this
person beets around the bush to begin with. So right,
so take that as your answer. That is your answer
right there, right.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
The reality is people who really want to be with
people are not going to make excuses, right yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Yeah, I mean in all in all reallestness, if a
man and it's just coming from a man, you know,
if a man doesn't want it, he should just be
like listen, you know. Yeah, I don't. I don't think
marriage is for me, you know, I don't. I don't
(28:57):
think marriage is something I want to do. Maybe I
I want to just live in cahoots if you be married, yeah,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I don't want comfortable, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I would, I would me. I've never been married. I've
never been married, and sometimes I think to myself, you know,
I would like to try it. One day, if some
if somebody would you know what I mean, like I
want to have I want to have a party. You
(29:34):
know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
You just want to have a party.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
No, No, I mean I'm serious, like one. I would
like to one day, you know, I want. I want.
I want the house and I want the grandkids and
the kids to come over. I want to be sipsting
on my porch, sipping on some sweet tea and a
Mason jar and just you know what I'm saying, like
with vodka. Ended of course, but gosh, you know, drink
(30:03):
that's my point.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
That was my point.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
Wait, wait a minute, sweet tea does not have to
have sugar in it. Let's get it straight. That's have vodka.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Oh my god, Oh my god, sweet tea with water.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
This might as well just this might as well. Just
drink the vodka forget about thee right. But I would,
I would, really, I would. I would. I would like
to get married one day. I'm not gonna front. I'm not.
I'll be sitting here lying if I said I wouldn't,
I don't. I don't. I'll never want to get married.
That's not true. I'm lying. If I say I don't
you know, I understand, I hear that, you know. Uh,
(30:43):
you know, I just feel like that that's just how
That's just how I feel, you know. And and to
be in a relationship and not knowing what the future holds,
as far as that's concerned, is disturbing to some people,
you know what I mean. You can sit there and
then and and and talk about it all you want,
(31:04):
and and ask about it all you want. But if
you keep getting you keep getting this, you know what
I mean, like, what are you what are you supposed
to do? What are you supposed to do? If if
the conversation keeps being ignored? I don't know, I think
I think you know, this dude, isn't isn't about that
(31:27):
life you did? I mean, I just think he's all
about just living, living in the situation he's in.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah. Yeah, Well some people feel that way, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
If you don't want.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
That, yeah, then you need to do something about it.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
You know. I mean, it's it's terrible sometimes when people
That's what I'm talking.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
About, people settling. They settle because they're either afraid to
be alone, don't love themselves enough or you know, I
think that they'll never do better or don't deserve better.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
And it's a lie.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
That's a lie.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
It is a lie.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Everyone deserves happiness, and that looks different for everybody.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Let me tell you something, not everybody. There's some people
that that can go five fucking kite and kick rocks,
you know what I'm saying. But there are some people
that do deserve to be happy. You know, there's some
people that deserve to have what they want and deserve
to have the kind of life that that's worth living.
You know what I'm saying. I mean, shit, you have
(32:35):
to have a life worth living towards that.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
It's got to be worth the life you want to live.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
And maybe you know, for for some people again, like
some people choose not to be parents because that's the
life that they want to live for whatever reason, and
and they are entitled and allowed to have that. But
when somebody gives you their truth, you have to accept it.
Don't keep looking at the potential of what if or
(33:02):
down the road things will change. Well they might not.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
This is what I.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Want now, So let's assume that that's going to continue
on for the rest of my life. But no people
want to think that they can change other people and
and mold them.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
To what they want them to be.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
And it doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
So they broke them all when they made me. I'll
tell you that right now.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
And why is that?
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Because?
Speaker 5 (33:28):
Man?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Because man, I'm I'm that dude. Yo, I mean you know, yes,
i am, I'm that dude. It's saying it's right that dude.
I'm feeling. I'm in a good mood. I'm in a
great mood. Yeah, I'm in a very good mood today. Awesome.
(33:52):
But but this, but this last email is it's crazy.
I had to read it twice.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
He loves the crazy ones.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
I yeah, I had to. I read it twice before
I realized that it was what it says. What it
says it says? Oh boy, yeah, all right, here we go,
go for it right.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
It's like my anxiety got crazier just now.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
My gay friend tried to sleep with my husband. How
do I move on?
Speaker 3 (34:32):
All?
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Right?
Speaker 3 (34:34):
Okay, okay, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
The title pretty much sums it up.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I think the gay part has anything to do with it.
The fact that anybody's trying to sleep with your friend.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Sleep with your if any any any Yeah, my gay
best friend tried to sleep with my husband.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yeah, anybody wants to buy and it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
And this is this is this is yeah my gay
best friends. Yeah, so all right. So anyway, so the
title pretty much sums it up. Saturday night, my husband,
best friend, and I went out for drinks. My husband
and I got unusually drunk, to the point where he
(35:13):
blacked out. In our five years together, he has never
blacked out, and he can drink anyway. I ended up
passing out on the living room floor. Oh god, when
when we got home, we're just hanging out. At the
(35:34):
end of the night, my husband says he also fell
asleep and woke up with my friend on top of him,
kissing him and trying to have sex with him. My
husband pushed him off, woke me up and told me
it was time for bed. My friend left, and I
(35:56):
got really upset at my husband for one thing to
go upstairs, and so he went without me. My friend
said by to me, acted like everything was normal. He
even texted me the next morning about about something totally
(36:16):
unrelated again and acting like nothing happened. I'm having a
lot of feelings. I'm angry and disgusted in my friend,
who I invite into my home to violate my husband
and my marriage. I'm sad and I feel guilty. I
can't look at my husband without a flurry of emotions
(36:41):
bubbling up. I don't know what to say or do
that friendship is obviously over now, But how do I
help my husband through this? And how do I stop
the intrusive thoughts that have me questioning everything?
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Mhm? What is I'm curious? Why is she questioning everything? Like?
It sounds like so her heart took advantage of took
advantage of her husband. It didn't go anywhere because he
stopped it, woke her up, told her let's go to bed,
(37:26):
and then he told her right basically what happened. And
it wasn't like he was he was very drunk. If
he was like passed out on the floor, so was
she and her friend is on top of him. Like
(37:48):
the only thing you should be worried about is why
you got friends that are like that? Like you need
to do better with your friendship. I don't know what
to say, Like, but her husband did the right thing,
like he told her right away. He you know, I
(38:12):
feel bad, you know, but if he feels like he
needs to talk to somebody. Then he should go talk
to somebody about it. I don't know if.
Speaker 6 (38:26):
Oh, my god, is that who I think it is? Oh,
he needs to show up in some way.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
But I think I think it's it's it's it's terrible.
It's terrible. Way you're laying there drunk, you know, and
everything's okay. You wake up some dude kissing you and
rubbing on you, and what.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
What if it was a chick, you automatically would be like, bitch,
what the fuck? I'm done? So it's the same exact thing.
Nowhere is her husband? Why, like is she thinking that
he might know? Like why would you think that? It
seems like your friend literally took advantage of a situation
(39:18):
and that was not good. And maybe now he needs
to talk to somebody about it. But other than that, like,
what are you questioning your friend sucked? That was fucked up?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yeah, you know what I mean, Like, it's really fucked up.
It's really fucked up. I mean, how do you? How
do you? And then she's talking about she's talking about
intrusive thoughts, like what kind of intrusive thoughts did she
possibly have?
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Right?
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Like what would have happened if something had happened.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
Maybe it didn't right, but it did.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
It Like he put a stop to it when he
realized what was going on and then got her up
to go to bed. So to me, I feel like
that right there meant like he was very uncomfortable with
the situation.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Right right right, I mean drunk or not, some dude
tries doing something like I'm gonna lump his ass the
fuck up right there?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
You're straight, like, so.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
It's it's it could just be.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
The simple fact that her gay friend was attracted to
him from the get anyway. So I don't think she
should think, oh, does he think he's gay? And that's why. No,
it seems like he was trying to take advantage of
of that like a situation of someone, and that's not good.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
And you gotta you gotta think to yourself, how long
has he been attracted to you know what I'm saying,
like like were.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
You waiting for this moment?
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Right? And she also said, wait, well she not. Now
my mind is going So she said, he drinks a lot,
but he's never blacked out right before? What if he
roofied that motherfucker?
Speaker 3 (41:10):
Like who else.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Slip them a mickey? To slip them a mickey. Oh
my lord, you know, I mean, damn, she was like
he passed out And my husband's never passed out and
he drinks a.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Lot, right right, right, So it was he was very
vulnerable situation.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
But my thing is is like, what kind of friend
did he think she was that he could try something
like that?
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Right?
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Well?
Speaker 3 (41:44):
That's the thing. I think that Like what we were
just saying, like, there's it sounds like there was a
traction there before or something.
Speaker 4 (41:54):
Yeah, but is she what.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
What made well? Also, what made him think he can
do that?
Speaker 4 (41:59):
That's what I'm saying. What type of woman is she?
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Like?
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Is she somebody who condones that with other people? So
he thought it would be cool if if he we
don't have enough.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Yeah, I think I think I'm gonna write back to.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
Them to give more details. We need more exactly what
there's more questions now.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
Yeah, because because you think think about it, right, just
let's look at it this way. What gave him? All right?
What gave him the thought that that was okay? First
of all? Second, why why would he why would he
(42:46):
just get up and say, babe, let's go.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Upstairs and make a big deal.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Exactly like you found some dude on top of you,
trying to make out with you and bumping on you
and ship you don't just get up and say, babe,
let's go upstairs. And she was like she couldn't move,
So you just went upstairs yourself? I mean, no, something
something that?
Speaker 3 (43:08):
What if that? That's the thing? What if you're it
makes you uncomfortable? Like not everyone reacts with hitting people.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Or in my house, I would at least be yelling
at them like you got to go.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
But he did get the fuck up out.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
Of here, didn't Didn't it say something about him telling
him to leave? I thought he he didn't tell him
to leave.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
My husband pushed him off, woke me up and told
me it was time for bed. Friend left. I got
really upset at my husband for wanting to go upstairs,
so he went upstairs without me.
Speaker 4 (43:51):
Yeah, so the dude just left. He didn't tell him
to leave.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Yeah, he just left.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
We don't have enough unless he was telling her to
go to bed, you know, so something else could happen.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Because I've bake my wife up and be like you
need to tell your boy to get.
Speaker 4 (44:13):
Up out of here.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (44:16):
Word, Yeah, So maybe that's why the friend left. Like
we don't know, yeah, what was said right in this situation?
Speaker 1 (44:30):
I mean it's it's yeah, I need more info, need
a lot more info.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
So based on that, we cannot come to a conclusion.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Yes, we cannot come to a conclusion of this story
until we get more information.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Correct, there will be a part two.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Yeah, it will definitely be a part two. So anyway,
I didn't ask, I didn't tg. I didn't ask you
how your last two weeks been. I'm sorry, Oh yeah,
that's not Yeah, yeah, you know what, Forget I asked
that question. Forget, I asked that question. And let's let's
let's move on. Yeah, I don't, I don't. I don't condone.
(45:14):
I wouldn't want anybody, you know, m hmm. I wouldn't. No, no, no, no,
no no no. I I feel I would feel like
like the completely violated, Like I would, I would feel
like what the fuck? You know what I'm saying? You know?
(45:39):
All right? So okay, hold on, I mean I'm looking
through the email to see if there was a yeah,
anything else on it, because we got we got I
got a lot of emails here.
Speaker 5 (45:52):
Oh let me see no, oh wow, that's that's that's
(46:19):
that's not it.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
That's definitely not it. All right, here we go, here
we go, here we go, here we go. All right,
So all right, so she says, all right, she did
she did say something else, she said, She said, oh,
(46:47):
and just to let you know, my husband isn't getting it.
I told him how you would feel if I told
you I woke up to one of your friends trying
to stick his dick in me while I was asleep.
And he said, I don't think of it like that,
and and and she, yeah, that's all she said that
(47:11):
he said that I don't think of it that way.
I think I think the husband really feels, you.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
Know, violated.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
Yeah, yeah, and he's feeling some kind of way like
you know, she's she said, she just said, like I
said to him that what if you woke up and
you know, one of your friends was trying was trying
to have sex with me, how would you feel? And
(47:45):
she just he just he just said to her that
I don't think of it that way. So maybe her
husband has some hidden.
Speaker 3 (47:52):
I'm not even taking I'm not getting that at all.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
No, No, what do you what are you getting out
of it?
Speaker 3 (48:01):
I'm getting that this person was violated and doesn't know
how to deal with it because he's that man.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
Wow, that's that's terrible.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
Because if it was the other way around, Ah, there
would have been a fight or police could have gotten
involved or whatever. But majority, as we all know from SVU,
the majority of victims don't report their crimes.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
All right, all right, here I got another email. This
is this is another one? All right? So I used
to think my wife, I used to think my girlfriend
was nagging. I just I'm just realizing now that I
did not respect her concerns. Now that I've realized this,
(48:58):
how do I change the behavior? All right? Here's the
body of it. I often don't use the word nagging
in my head because I falsely think that it's just
a dirty word that only shitty partners use. So instead
the things.
Speaker 3 (49:20):
You know.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Instead, I think of things like she's neurotic, or a
control freak, or being too hard on me, which is
even worse. But somehow it's kept me distant, distant from
her and lying to myself about what I'm doing. It
(49:41):
creates a cycle where she tells me not to do
something or ask me to do it differently. I apologize,
but internally I don't see where she's coming from or
think about why she actually cares. I get defensive in
my head myself why I don't do it, why I
(50:02):
did it, and twisting it into her for not understanding
why I did it in the first place. Sometimes I
explain my reasoning, which gets respectfully but firmly shut down,
and then I play the victim and think I'm being
(50:23):
invalidated when I repeat the behavior. She's upset because I
clearly don't listen or take it seriously enough to change.
To change last time, I feel a growing resentment for
being criticized all the time. It's so toxic and it's
(50:45):
hurting our relationship so much. I do love her and
have respect for her, but in the moment, I think
of myself and throw her under the bus. Does she
deserve that? How can I change it?
Speaker 3 (51:00):
First of all, there's not enough information in that email
either because we can't blanket statement behavior and things you're doing,
because it could literally be that you are fucking someone
and that's the behavior of what. Or it could be
that you're like leaving dishes everywhere and not putting them
(51:22):
in the stink or so what is it? So? Yeah,
the bitch could be nagging, but I don't know because
I don't know right, this has to be specific. But
if you're feeling like shit's toxic, then maybe it is.
And I don't you know, And if you're feeling this
(51:44):
kind of way, maybe this isn't your person. Again. People
need to stop being so afraid to leave people.
Speaker 4 (51:52):
Just go just.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
Get a fucking something.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
Because I'm about the just leaving people, because that's how
we got to where we are. But having these conversations
before you get in it with people, like asking these
questions that you think are embarrassing or stupid or whatever,
like these are the facts of life.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
I need to know. When you sleep, do you fart?
I need to know.
Speaker 3 (52:23):
I'm pretty sure we all do.
Speaker 4 (52:27):
But I mean, I'm.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Talking about stuff like that, like when you eat, do
you eat with your mouth open? When you take off
the you know, when you brush your teeth, do you
leave the cap off? Stupid stuff like that, when you spend,
when you.
Speaker 3 (52:38):
Right, when you go to the store, do you like
go to the cheaper places and you look for deals
and get coop and stuff?
Speaker 2 (52:45):
Or do you got to be name brands exacts exactly? Yeah,
these are these are conversations. Do you want kids? Do
you want to get married? Uh?
Speaker 4 (52:58):
Do you like to be tagged on my Facebook? Whatever?
Speaker 3 (53:03):
Yeah? Do you like drugs? Do you like alcohol? Like?
Speaker 2 (53:07):
Are you?
Speaker 3 (53:09):
These are all like yeah, if we're gonna be in
a confined space together, we have to be able to
get along and kind of have more things in common
than differences.
Speaker 2 (53:26):
And the thing like do you believe in sex before marriage?
Speaker 3 (53:29):
That's a big deal, huge, huge, And and like again,
do you want marriage? Huge? Like these are things that
you should know of, Like what are the fucking people
talking about? For real? Because if we're getting in a
real relationship, why isn't that conversation having like being I
(53:52):
don't get that.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
You know why? Because when I have those conversations, they're like, oh,
you're too much. You need to loosen up and just
go with the flow.
Speaker 3 (54:01):
Yeah, because you know the flow?
Speaker 4 (54:04):
Yeah, you have no intention.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
Well, it depends, It really depends on the season.
Speaker 3 (54:14):
It's tax season, right, we're all in love.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
We're all in love, right now, get that child tax credit.
We're all.
Speaker 3 (54:30):
I want to talk about taxes. It's another trigger. We
can't even go.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
There there either. All right, this is going to be
the last email of the night. All right, so here
we go. This will be the last one and then
we'll we'll discuss this one. This one seems pretty pretty
pretty decent. Not that the other ones weren't. They just
they just weren't we need them to be. But this
(54:56):
one's interesting. I've been seeing someone for over a year.
We have a pretty decent relationship, and we get along
pretty well. We have our moments where we argue, but
it's never over anything crazy. Sometimes I feel he doesn't
(55:22):
value my opinion, or he doesn't value or take what
I say too seriously when I need him to. Here
is the dilemma. He has children, they're adults, and they
still don't know about me. The thing is that I
(55:44):
want to plan things with his children. I want to
do things with him and his children. I want to
be involved in their lives, and my old eyes hold on.
I want to be in the lives of him and
his children. I love this man very much. He talks
(56:05):
about his children all the time, and I want to
be a part of his world. So how do I
go around getting him to understand that being a part
of his world, being being a part of his children's
lives as well is it a red flag that he
doesn't want me to meet his children or he hasn't
told them about me. What can I do to make
(56:28):
the situation better for him to be able to tell
his children. He tells me that the reason why he
hasn't said anything to his children is because we fight
a lot. But I don't see us fighting all the time.
I see us fighting and bickering over things, but he
feels that he needs time to make sure that we
(56:52):
have something sturdy before he tells his children anything about me.
I hope this isn't too much much for you, guys.
I just want my relationship to be good and wholesome.
So hopefully the advice you give me I can take
and move forward with and apply it to what it
(57:15):
is I need to do well.
Speaker 4 (57:16):
She answered her own question.
Speaker 3 (57:18):
I was going to say, he told you, Yeah, he
told her he's.
Speaker 4 (57:21):
Not sure that they are for one another.
Speaker 2 (57:25):
Speaking as a parent, nobody gets to meet my kids
unless I'm sure that me and this person are serious
and going to be committed.
Speaker 4 (57:35):
Because children, children.
Speaker 3 (57:37):
Well it doesn't matter how old they are. There adults, yeah.
Speaker 4 (57:39):
There still are kids.
Speaker 2 (57:41):
They're a privilege, not a right. Just because we're seeing
each other or daity doesn't give you the right to
know my kids.
Speaker 4 (57:49):
When when I'm sure that this is something that I want.
Speaker 2 (57:52):
To be a part of long term, that's when I'm
going to involve the loves of my life and expose
them to you. Again, no matter how old they are,
They're not even gonna know about you until I'm sure
about you. So you know, he told her, I'm just wondering.
Speaker 3 (58:09):
She has to respect that though, and then take that
as so, are you willing to put in more effort
and time. What's on one who's still not sure about
you a year in?
Speaker 1 (58:21):
Right? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (58:22):
Because that's a big deal too.
Speaker 3 (58:24):
And if you feel right and if you haven't had
those conversations that we then it's time to go. I
think everyone today just needs to go.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
Because if if it's been a year and you're still
not sure about.
Speaker 3 (58:43):
It, said, yeah, like, what are this is? This is
my thing? I'm recognizing. I don't know if it's a
woman thing, but uh, y'all are not listening to what
he is giving and putting out. It's very frustrating when
(59:06):
I hear complaints women make and stuff like that, because
I'm just like, well, he's telling you actions. You know
the phrase actions speak louder than words, and it's still
very true. Like someone can say a lot, but what
they show is the action. That's what matters. So pay
(59:30):
attention to that and listen to your gut because your
guy's gonna guide you and tell you even if you
don't want to hear it, it's there for a reason.
Like they're telling you straight up, this is what it is. Right,
you're not going to change that. You're not, you know, like,
(59:53):
I don't know if it's something that we were taught
by society or whatever, that we are the one that's
gonna change him and make him this great man. No,
like he is a great man or he fucking isn't.
Like that's what it is, and maybe he needs to
grow to be a great man, but that doesn't mean
(01:00:14):
that it's you that's gonna make that happen.
Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Yeah, that's a man for somebody else and just not
for you, right, because whoever he is somebody, that's what
they want.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Yeah, Yes, that's that's that's what it is. That's what
it is. I mean, do you consider that a red flag?
Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
Though?
Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
Yes, it's yeah, because this is not what he wants.
Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
Because she's more into it apparently than he is, right
because she feels like she's in the place that she
should meet them and he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
So and I mean personally, if it's a year, if
it's if we get to a year and I haven't
metric kids yet, then this relationship isn't going anywhere, because
for me, that's not I don't agree with that. Yeah,
because a year, I mean.
Speaker 3 (01:01:16):
It depends what the relationship is, how serious it is,
if people are taking their time in that relationship to
truly get to know one another. I'd be okay with
waiting a while to meet someone's children because I would
want them to be sure of me before getting me
(01:01:36):
wrapped up and all that drama. Right at the end
of the day, it's going to be drama because I
am not part of that family technically.
Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Well, I'm too old to be waiting a year for
you to tell me if you're sure or not.
Speaker 4 (01:01:57):
That's all.
Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
We all all the time in the world. Oh yeah, yeah,
And if not, then we'll be in the nursing homes
and our little Vespa scooter thingies, fucking smacking asses along
the hallway.
Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Getting STDs and like that.
Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
People out there, yep, yep, pretty much, sphilis, gonorrhea, all
the good stuff. Club media.
Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
Yeah yeah, all right, Well we answered a bunch of
emails tonight. Yeah. Now I'm gonna be I'm gonna be
gonna be straight out. I'm gonna I'm gonna definitely right
back to these people and get more more in depth
on what these emails, especially the one with the husband.
Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
I really want to know you got more questions, more
questions than if they you know, if they'd like to
give more than more it's not.
Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
That's okay, Yeah, it's okay. All right. So with that
being said, it's an early night. It's an early night. Yeah,
it's only ten o'clock, but that's okay.
Speaker 3 (01:03:21):
Feels like it's December twenty twenty six.
Speaker 1 (01:03:24):
Ay, yeah, it's I mean.
Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
Twenty twenty five. Not, it's just like I'm that here.
I am not here. I'm definitely somewhere else. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
Okay, Trump cut off the food stamps.
Speaker 4 (01:03:45):
I'm not focused. I'm joking.
Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
That's let's not start up.
Speaker 3 (01:03:52):
It already hurts this my hurt, This might hurt this hurt.
Let's go her for real.
Speaker 1 (01:03:59):
Listen, let's let's up.
Speaker 3 (01:04:02):
All right, Maybe we should just like have this might
hurt political side podcast?
Speaker 4 (01:04:09):
Yeah, just one onecast that we let them know.
Speaker 3 (01:04:14):
Well, no, put it out there, you know, so you
want to. I think it's I think it's good to
share information in facts, just saying just saying.
Speaker 1 (01:04:27):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
You know what I'm saying. Life, Life is hard.
Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
Mm hmmm, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (01:04:36):
I think I'm gonna move to Vermont. They have moose there. Yeah,
the is it mooses? Moose? Sounds weird. Moose.
Speaker 1 (01:04:51):
I just ran to a bunch of moose. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
That's it sounds wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:04:59):
Just fish, like all those fish.
Speaker 5 (01:05:02):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
It is what it is.
Speaker 3 (01:05:06):
Yes, that's true.
Speaker 4 (01:05:07):
Or a murder of cruise.
Speaker 3 (01:05:11):
I know. There's some interesting English is interesting.
Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
Yeah, like the word knife. It's not a knife, it's knife.
It should be it should be.
Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
For one day we should like just say the k
in words like you can know you know instead of
you know, can know? Does your can hurt? You?
Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
Better be careful? I slab stab you my knife.
Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
Oh that reminds me of a stewie with the with
a whip. He has to say the eight.
Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
It's so funny, right, all right, So with that being said,
I'm big. That's lady, that's t G love whatever however
you pronounce it. All right, here we go and I
(01:06:17):
and remember the name Saint Charles. That's when you tag
down there. My my, My granddaughter says, I'm an international spy.
So that's how I say my name. Now, yeah, she said,
she said, Grandpa, you're an international spy. Now. I was like, okay,
whatever you want to call me, she said, Saint Charles,
Saint So I told I was. I told I was
(01:06:41):
double O nine all right, all.
Speaker 4 (01:06:46):
Right, not the commander, all right.
Speaker 1 (01:06:53):
Yeah, So good night everybody. Thank you for coming by,
Thanks for for sharing your emails, Send more emails in
all the email addresses are there. Thanks for the viewers tonight.
You appreciate you, We love you, and always remember that
at some point.
Speaker 3 (01:07:09):
This might heart.
Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
Good Night, everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
Night,
Ys, Hey, what's up everybody? It is being call on
(01:34):
for this Might Herd podcast. Come to you live from
you know how we do where we come where live
from in Jersey, PA, South Jersey. I'm not going to
say Central Jersey because there is no Central Jersey, you
know how it is. Let me bring in my co host,
the lovely Lady g Oh, how are you?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I'm great?
Speaker 3 (02:02):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I I'm good. I'm good, you know, just just chilling
and doing what we do here at the show. You know, So,
how how's your how's your last two weeks been?
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Uh, they've been great.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Just getting some learning on and you know, fixing things
in life, trying to be a better person, you know.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
All the good stuff.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, that is good stuff, good stuff, great stuff. So
we're gonna have TG. Should be here shortly, Simon Phoenix
should be here shortly, so we'll see how things go
with that tonight. But I want to start off with
(02:52):
nothing political, nothing religious, even though that's all the that
that's the talk of the town right now, everything that's
going on in politics and religion and all that other stuff.
But here at the show, we don't do that. But
you know, we're here to help you, give you knowledge,
give you advice, give you whatever it is you feel
(03:13):
you need in your day to day life, whatever it is.
Doc Thought is in the building to do. So you
have fans, let me tell you, Yes, you do. And
and I don't know why. That's why I put the
email addresses at the bottom of the screen so you
guys can directly, you know, hit up your favorite host.
(03:38):
But you have you have, so you have some fans.
I'm telling you, don't don't sleep on the Doc Thought.
I is on top of things here. You know how
we do. You know TG has a couple sibn Phoenix,
don't have any really anybody who has something to say
about about him. It's it's in a negative light, and
(04:00):
don't want to go there. They just think he's too brash.
When he gets he'll let him defend himself. They think
he's too brash and he's too too much sometimes And
I'm like, but you know, sometimes the world needs to
know how people really feel, you know what I'm saying.
So that that is, that is what it is. You
(04:22):
know what I mean? And maybe he might not show
up tonight. Let's see hold on one second. Let me
just all right, Well, he won't be showing up tonight.
Just got that notification. Okay, so it's just gonna be
(04:45):
me and the ladies, lucky mean lucky me. Right, all right,
so first things first, we have some emails we got
to get to, and I don't know if I should
if we should wait for TG, but I'll start off
(05:10):
with one and we'll I guess she'll. I have a
feeling she'll show up while we're talking about this one.
It's usually gonna get going, gets good. She pops up, mmhmm. Yeah.
All right, So here it is. You know, my birthdays
next week?
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Snay, yeah, early birthday.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be old, but I
feel great and I just want everyone to know that, right.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
You really make sixty look good?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I make a pretty damn good
sixty year old, don't I.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
You're still sexy at sixty.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Yeah, yeah, that's sixty. That's so funny. Gonna be, we're
gonna be. We're gonna be making millions of dollars by
the time I'm sixty. We're gonna be making a lot
of money at this So all right, so here we go.
Let's start off with this one. I have been with
my boyfriend for ten years, and I'm considering throwing in
(06:22):
the towel. All right, let's see what we got here.
She's a thirty two year old female. I moved away
from my friends and family to move in with my boyfriend,
who's thirty six. As soon as I moved in, he
(06:43):
pressured me to get a job and start contributing. I
was fine with that, and I got a job and
have had a stable job ever since. He ended up
losing his job because he had disagreements with his boss.
(07:03):
We moved into a different state and started over. He
found some work, but it was not much. I have
gone to school and work towards a career, and I'm
doing pretty good. He has not had a stable job
since we started dating. He works three to five months
(07:27):
out of the year and not even forty hours a week.
Right now, I pay for everything mortgage, food bills, et cetera.
When I bring up When I bring it up to
him that our financial situation is not fifty to fifty
or even sixty forty, he gets mad and says I
(07:49):
care more about money. I'm frustrated because I have to
clean up after him, think of things to have to
do for dinner, et cetera, et cetera. It's not just
financial either, financials either. He gets very irritated with me,
and I feel like I walk on eggshells and do
(08:12):
whatever I can so he doesn't have to have a
temper tantrum. He's also mentioned how he's in a better
mood when he has sex, and he treats me so
much better if I give in. Also, I feel like
(08:32):
there's so much I can't do because if it isn't
done the way he thinks is the correct way, then
it won't work. I haven't been in a lot of relationships,
but I really don't feel what I have going on
is healthy. Is this situation worth working through? Or is
(08:55):
it my time to walk away? Thank you for this email?
Speak speak.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
All right.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Ultimately, the thing is, if you were in a relationship
and you're not feeling fulfilled, whether it you know on
some level spiritually, emotionally, physically, anytime you're in a relationship,
(09:30):
you should not have to feel like you're walking on
eggshell and people, No, relationships are not easy.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
They require work.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
But when you feel like you're being stifled, you're not
able to grow. You know, there's constant turmoil that's very toxic,
and people don't realize even if it's worked for you
for a while, you know, this is just how you
guys are. Doesn't necessarily mean it's healthy. Right, So when
(10:03):
you can't genuinely be yourself, then you're pretending to be
someone that you're not, and that doesn't work long term.
You know, the logistics of the matter, you know, moving in,
contributing all that kind of stuff. I mean, that's definitely uh,
(10:25):
whatever you guys have agreed on, right, But a lot
of times people fail to have these really hard and
tough conversations before they move in with each other, before
they get married, right before they.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Become you know, exclusive.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
And you know we've talked about stuff like that before, Corleone,
you know how you were saying, having having those those
conversations about you know, intentional expectations, and you know, like
if we don't talk about expectations beforehand.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
It's all about the uncommunicated expectations as what yeah brings up.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Yeah, because we have to stop thinking that everybody is
the way that we are, that everybody was raised the
way we are, you know, you know, as men and women,
we could be in the same situation and see it
very differently. So corleone, what what to you might be
clean to me as a woman might not be clean
(11:26):
right right, and and vice versa. What what I see
as dirty or disorganized to you might be totally normal.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
So it's about understanding one another.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
And relationships, no matter what relationship is, whether it's a friendship,
a romantic relationship, of marriage, should never feel like it's
one sided.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yeah, how do you? How do you? How do you
maneuver a relationship that makes you feel like you're walking
on eggshells?
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And and that then the the reality is that you
can't because there will always be the one person, always
feeling unvalued, un you know, fulfilled. And so the excuses
that he uses about you know, he does better or
feels better when he has sex. I mean, that's all
(12:20):
fine and dandy if that's the way he functions, but
if it's not fulfilling her in any way, then it
doesn't work. Ultimately, she's gonna have to make that choice
is it worth it for her?
Speaker 5 (12:34):
You know?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I talk a lot of times about sometimes, you know,
especially depending on culture, sometimes the idea of settling for
less than what you want or need just for the
(12:56):
just for the having of a relationship. Not being alone
causes a lot of issues, a lot, a lot of problems.
No one should ever be in a relationship just not
to be alone, because you know, there's a saying in Spanish,
(13:17):
and you know that's that's basically like and I say
this every day even as a divorced single woman.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
You know, I would so.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Rather be on my own and at least decently happy.
I mean, it can be a lonely time, but those
are few and far between. But I would rather be
happy alone than really really miserable with someone else, because
you know, that's that's not a good life to live.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
The fact that the guy is not even able to
hold a job.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
And yeah, that that's a big bad flag.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
That is a big red flag. Not being able to
hold a job, only feeling good when he's having sex,
working three to five months out of a year.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
That that's unacceptable.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
That's just you know, and how do you how do
you how do you tell a woman when you get
into a relationship, I mean, not into a relationship, but
you're in a relationship. But how do you tell a woman, oh, yeah,
come live with me. She moves in and right away
she moves in, You're like, boom, this is what you
gotta do. But not fulfilling your end of the bargain.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
That's just the that's just the guy wanting someone to
take over his responsibilities because I'm sorry, you know, and
I'm not talking about you know a lot of people
say it's old school and you're back, you know, you're
dating yourself and all this stuff. But human nature, and
it's not just about upbringing. I mean, upbringing is what
(14:49):
helps men and women to have their values.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
But a man's natural.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
You know, state of mind, is providing, you know, taking
care of protecting, providing. You know, men are hunter gatherers
and women are are the nurturers.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
You know.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
That's that was what we were initially created for. The
man too, you know, was put in charge of all
of the animals and beasts on the earth, you know,
and and women you know, and and again not getting religious,
but the whole idea of what a man provides.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
For a woman, the woman multiplies right.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, thought, okay, TG, Hi, what's good? Thought I was talking?
Speaker 3 (15:50):
I heard all right?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
You know, so it's like a guy provides the food
and then the woman multiplies it into a dinner. The
guy provides money, and she turns it into a flourishing account.
He buys the house and she turns it into a home.
He gives her a seed and she turns it into children.
(16:16):
You know, like that, there's a natural give and take.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I think you're going to say when you said see
it that you're going to say, weed.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Oh gosh, that's.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
You know me.
Speaker 6 (16:32):
No.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
But but yeah, I think I think you're You're absolutely right.
I mean, being in a relationship where you have to
you know, both people.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
Got to be fed.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
One can't be starving and the other one, you know,
well fed. That doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So do you think it's time for her to to
boat out and throw in a towel and start over.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
My advice would be, I think she needs to recognize
her own value and what she deserves, uh uh, beyond
what she's receiving. However, people are not gonna do anything
about their situation unless they are one truly tired and
two prepared prepared to do things on their own. So
(17:15):
it's not gonna work if she's not ready to do it.
So I don't really want to give, you know, advice
of what I think she should do. But from what
I see, uh, I just see toxicity in a one
way relationship that she's never gonna feel fulfilled in, never
gonna be happy with, and and he's really not valuing
(17:36):
what she brings to the table, and he's not providing
anything that she needs.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
She's gonna be bad.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
You like touching that kitty, don't you?
Speaker 3 (17:46):
I do?
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Oh my god, it's so sweet.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
She loves petting the kitty you got, Nie. But yeah,
if you can't, you can't expect to literally maintain a
household and a and a and a fam. I don't
know if they have kids or whatever, but if you're
(18:13):
if you're running it not even fifty fifth, not even
sixty forty, you know, And it's just, you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Just it's just not do the I don't even do
the fifty to fifty. They should both be given their best,
their one hundreds that whatever that looks like.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I mean, if I come home, listen to me, if
I come home, yeah look that, yeah, yeah, listen to me.
If I come home and I'm and I'm fit, I'm
not at one hundred. I want I would I would
hope that my lady would put a hand on my
shoulder and say I got you. Just do what you
gotta do to keep.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Enough in themselves to say this is what I need,
this is what I want.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Yeah, exactly. And if you can't be open and have
that type of communication, then there's no reason, there's no
there's no there's no way, there's no way it works out.
There's no way it works out, you know. I just
I just feel I just feel like my my personal opinion,
tell this dude straight out, like, listen, bro, if you can't,
(19:17):
if you can't hold your own anymore, I'm out. And
if he chooses not to do what he has to
do to make things right and correct them, well, because
it looks like she's being the.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Man right now.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Oh yeah, wait, what's up thing?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Oh yeah, it was so we had it was an email.
This woman said that she moved in with her boyfriend
and right away he moved he moved her in. He
was like, you gotta get a job, you gotta you know,
hold your own whatever, whatever, and she she's been doing everything.
(20:00):
The guy's only been able to hold a job three
or five months out of the year. He only he
only feels good when he has sex, and she feels
like it's time for to throwing the towel, and we're
just talking about it, she said, She said, it's not
even sixty forty, it's not fifty to fifty. She feels
like he's walking on nakeshells all the time. And yeah,
(20:23):
so it's it's a bad situation. So my personal opinion
is if the guy, if he sit him down, have
a conversation with him, give him that opportunity to correct it.
If the guy and it doesn't seem like he's gonna
because if he hasn't, it's been ten years. So if
(20:44):
he hasn't done it already, he's not gonna do it.
What you can't hear me?
Speaker 3 (20:50):
No, I heard say that again? How many years?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Ten? Now?
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Goodbye?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Yeah, exactly. If he's if it's been ten years and
he's not holding up his end of the bargain, showing
you who he.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Is, you've accepted it, he's not changing.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
No, and she's enabled that until now.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Yep, Yeah, absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Sometimes the only people we can blame about our bad
relationships are ourselves because.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
We allow it.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Listen, listen, I know, I know I was. I was
in a relationship that was I felt like I was
walking on glass, not even fucking eggshells. Man, it was terrible,
and I had I got out. It took a long time,
but I got out. But you know what I mean.
(21:46):
So it's possible to get out and and realize that damn,
you know, I I finally see who I am, I
find see my worth. I finally see that I mean
something to myself as well as other people, you know
(22:08):
what I mean. So it's possible to to to throw
on a towel and say fuck you, I'm out.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
Yeah, but you gotta love yourself first.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
If you don't love yourself, of course, loving.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Yourself, love you, then ain't nobody else.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I love me some me, all right, I love me
some me. You know what I mean? I do. I
love me. I love me some cordion man, you know.
And and and if if I didn't, I wouldn't. I
wouldn't be able to do the things I do. You know.
(22:44):
I'm like, sometimes I feel like Rick Flair, Oh my god, yeah,
sometimes I do.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
I'm Rick Flair.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I'm no, I'm not going to grow a mullet. That's
what I can't. I can't grow anything. At this point, you.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Could wear you could rock mulletwig.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah, yeah. At this point, if I try to rock anything,
it's I'm lucky I can rock this, you know what
I'm saying. But but yeah, sometimes I feel sometimes I
feel great, sometimes I feel outstanding. Sometimes I feel I
feel like like damn, you know, I get this this
rush sometimes and then sometimes I feel like damn. But
(23:26):
most of the time I'm starting to get I'm starting
to get into my groove, you know what I mean.
My birthdays next week, and it's like, yo, you know
what's uping?
Speaker 3 (23:35):
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
So anyway, that was that and this one the next email.
Let's see what we have here. Oh, I think TG
is gonna love this one.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Go for TG.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I think you'll love this one. I'll save that one. No, No,
I'm gonna say the best one for last. You should Yeah,
all right. My partner doesn't seem to want to marry me. Okay,
what do I do? All right? My partner doesn't seem
(24:15):
to like the idea of marriage, at least not with me.
We have been together for just under four years, and
I have made it clear that marriage is something that
I want to be, that I want he and I
to experience. Sometimes I say that one day he Sometimes
(24:38):
I think that he will one day proposed to me.
But on the other hand, he gets angry if the
topic ever comes up. Most times when I ask him
about the future, he responds with I'm not sure, or
I have too much going on right now, it's not
a good time to talk about it. Our relationship is
(25:00):
healthy in every other aspect than this. We don't often argue.
Our families get along, we live together, travel together, and
I want to spend the rest of my life with him,
But it seems like he is unsure of me. I
know I would pick him in any situation. I just
(25:20):
don't know if he would pick me. I don't want
to give him an ultimatum, and the idea of leaving
to find love somewhere else seems like a long shot
to me. Is it worth staying or is it better
to leave it in the hopes that I can find
(25:41):
the type of love but with someone who makes me
feel more secure than insecure? All right, and this is
going to go to TG what you can.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
So what I'm hearing is is she wants marriage, but
he doesn't. So she has an expectation to get married
to this man, but it seems like he doesn't. That
was the first thing she said, right like, he doesn't
want marriage, So she has her answer right there. If
that is something you're seeking, if that is something that
(26:19):
you want in your partner, then wouldn't you want your
partner to want the same thing as you like?
Speaker 5 (26:26):
Right?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
I feel like you deserve for someone to pick you.
And if he's not picking you, then you know, why
are you there? Ask yourself why you're staying there? What
are your reasons? Is it because it's been four years,
Because that's not a reason to stay. It's up to
(26:50):
that person what they want to do. But if you
have an expectation of marriage in a relationship, then your
partner should know that and hopefully they're on the same page.
If not, like I just don't. I don't see a
point in like hoping or going back and forth, or
(27:13):
maybe I wouldn't want somebody to say maybe to me
if that's what I want, So I want someone who's
shure and certain of me. If they're not, then then
they're not the person. They're not my person. So don't
you want your person?
Speaker 1 (27:35):
And I think I also think the fact that she's
thinking and saying that I know in every situation I'll
choose him, but I don't know if he'll choose me.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Just this shear fact that you're questioning it and you're
insecure in it. I feel like you are getting your answer.
Ask him straight up if you want, but I guess
be prepared for an answer. It might not be what
(28:06):
you want. You might not get an answer the way
you want it because it depends. It sounds like this
person beets around the bush to begin with. So right,
so take that as your answer. That is your answer
right there, right.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
The reality is people who really want to be with
people are not going to make excuses, right yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Yeah, I mean in all in all reallestness, if a
man and it's just coming from a man, you know,
if a man doesn't want it, he should just be
like listen, you know. Yeah, I don't. I don't think
marriage is for me, you know, I don't. I don't
(28:57):
think marriage is something I want to do. Maybe I
I want to just live in cahoots if you be married, yeah,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I don't want comfortable, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I would, I would me. I've never been married. I've
never been married, and sometimes I think to myself, you know,
I would like to try it. One day, if some
if somebody would you know what I mean, like I
want to have I want to have a party. You
(29:34):
know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
You just want to have a party.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
No, No, I mean I'm serious, like one. I would
like to one day, you know, I want. I want.
I want the house and I want the grandkids and
the kids to come over. I want to be sipsting
on my porch, sipping on some sweet tea and a
Mason jar and just you know what I'm saying, like
with vodka. Ended of course, but gosh, you know, drink
(30:03):
that's my point.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
That was my point.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
Wait, wait a minute, sweet tea does not have to
have sugar in it. Let's get it straight. That's have vodka.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Oh my god, Oh my god, sweet tea with water.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
This might as well just this might as well. Just
drink the vodka forget about thee right. But I would,
I would, really, I would. I would. I would like
to get married one day. I'm not gonna front. I'm not.
I'll be sitting here lying if I said I wouldn't,
I don't. I don't. I'll never want to get married.
That's not true. I'm lying. If I say I don't
you know, I understand, I hear that, you know. Uh,
(30:43):
you know, I just feel like that that's just how
That's just how I feel, you know. And and to
be in a relationship and not knowing what the future holds,
as far as that's concerned, is disturbing to some people,
you know what I mean. You can sit there and
then and and and talk about it all you want,
(31:04):
and and ask about it all you want. But if
you keep getting you keep getting this, you know what
I mean, like, what are you what are you supposed
to do? What are you supposed to do? If if
the conversation keeps being ignored? I don't know, I think
I think you know, this dude, isn't isn't about that
(31:27):
life you did? I mean, I just think he's all
about just living, living in the situation he's in.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah. Yeah, Well some people feel that way, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
If you don't want.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
That, yeah, then you need to do something about it.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
You know. I mean, it's it's terrible sometimes when people
That's what I'm talking.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
About, people settling. They settle because they're either afraid to
be alone, don't love themselves enough or you know, I
think that they'll never do better or don't deserve better.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
And it's a lie.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
That's a lie.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
It is a lie.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Everyone deserves happiness, and that looks different for everybody.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Let me tell you something, not everybody. There's some people
that that can go five fucking kite and kick rocks,
you know what I'm saying. But there are some people
that do deserve to be happy. You know, there's some
people that deserve to have what they want and deserve
to have the kind of life that that's worth living.
You know what I'm saying. I mean, shit, you have
(32:35):
to have a life worth living towards that.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
It's got to be worth the life you want to live.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
And maybe you know, for for some people again, like
some people choose not to be parents because that's the
life that they want to live for whatever reason, and
and they are entitled and allowed to have that. But
when somebody gives you their truth, you have to accept it.
Don't keep looking at the potential of what if or
(33:02):
down the road things will change. Well they might not.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
This is what I.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Want now, So let's assume that that's going to continue
on for the rest of my life. But no people
want to think that they can change other people and
and mold them.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
To what they want them to be.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
And it doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
So they broke them all when they made me. I'll
tell you that right now.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
And why is that?
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Because?
Speaker 5 (33:28):
Man?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Because man, I'm I'm that dude. Yo, I mean you know, yes,
i am, I'm that dude. It's saying it's right that dude.
I'm feeling. I'm in a good mood. I'm in a
great mood. Yeah, I'm in a very good mood today. Awesome.
(33:52):
But but this, but this last email is it's crazy.
I had to read it twice.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
He loves the crazy ones.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
I yeah, I had to. I read it twice before
I realized that it was what it says. What it
says it says? Oh boy, yeah, all right, here we go,
go for it right.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
It's like my anxiety got crazier just now.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
My gay friend tried to sleep with my husband. How
do I move on?
Speaker 3 (34:32):
All?
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Right?
Speaker 3 (34:34):
Okay, okay, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
The title pretty much sums it up.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I think the gay part has anything to do with it.
The fact that anybody's trying to sleep with your friend.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Sleep with your if any any any Yeah, my gay
best friend tried to sleep with my husband.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yeah, anybody wants to buy and it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
And this is this is this is yeah my gay
best friends. Yeah, so all right. So anyway, so the
title pretty much sums it up. Saturday night, my husband,
best friend, and I went out for drinks. My husband
and I got unusually drunk, to the point where he
(35:13):
blacked out. In our five years together, he has never
blacked out, and he can drink anyway. I ended up
passing out on the living room floor. Oh god, when
when we got home, we're just hanging out. At the
(35:34):
end of the night, my husband says he also fell
asleep and woke up with my friend on top of him,
kissing him and trying to have sex with him. My
husband pushed him off, woke me up and told me
it was time for bed. My friend left, and I
(35:56):
got really upset at my husband for one thing to
go upstairs, and so he went without me. My friend
said by to me, acted like everything was normal. He
even texted me the next morning about about something totally
(36:16):
unrelated again and acting like nothing happened. I'm having a
lot of feelings. I'm angry and disgusted in my friend,
who I invite into my home to violate my husband
and my marriage. I'm sad and I feel guilty. I
can't look at my husband without a flurry of emotions
(36:41):
bubbling up. I don't know what to say or do
that friendship is obviously over now, But how do I
help my husband through this? And how do I stop
the intrusive thoughts that have me questioning everything?
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Mhm? What is I'm curious? Why is she questioning everything? Like?
It sounds like so her heart took advantage of took
advantage of her husband. It didn't go anywhere because he
stopped it, woke her up, told her let's go to bed,
(37:26):
and then he told her right basically what happened. And
it wasn't like he was he was very drunk. If
he was like passed out on the floor, so was
she and her friend is on top of him. Like
(37:48):
the only thing you should be worried about is why
you got friends that are like that? Like you need
to do better with your friendship. I don't know what
to say, Like, but her husband did the right thing,
like he told her right away. He you know, I
(38:12):
feel bad, you know, but if he feels like he
needs to talk to somebody. Then he should go talk
to somebody about it. I don't know if.
Speaker 6 (38:26):
Oh, my god, is that who I think it is? Oh,
he needs to show up in some way.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
But I think I think it's it's it's it's terrible.
It's terrible. Way you're laying there drunk, you know, and
everything's okay. You wake up some dude kissing you and
rubbing on you, and what.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
What if it was a chick, you automatically would be like, bitch,
what the fuck? I'm done? So it's the same exact thing.
Nowhere is her husband? Why, like is she thinking that
he might know? Like why would you think that? It
seems like your friend literally took advantage of a situation
(39:18):
and that was not good. And maybe now he needs
to talk to somebody about it. But other than that, like,
what are you questioning your friend sucked? That was fucked up?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yeah, you know what I mean, Like, it's really fucked up.
It's really fucked up. I mean, how do you? How
do you? And then she's talking about she's talking about
intrusive thoughts, like what kind of intrusive thoughts did she
possibly have?
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Right?
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Like what would have happened if something had happened.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
Maybe it didn't right, but it did.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
It Like he put a stop to it when he
realized what was going on and then got her up
to go to bed. So to me, I feel like
that right there meant like he was very uncomfortable with
the situation.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Right right right, I mean drunk or not, some dude
tries doing something like I'm gonna lump his ass the
fuck up right there?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
You're straight, like, so.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
It's it's it could just be.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
The simple fact that her gay friend was attracted to
him from the get anyway. So I don't think she
should think, oh, does he think he's gay? And that's why. No,
it seems like he was trying to take advantage of
of that like a situation of someone, and that's not good.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
And you gotta you gotta think to yourself, how long
has he been attracted to you know what I'm saying,
like like were.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
You waiting for this moment?
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Right? And she also said, wait, well she not. Now
my mind is going So she said, he drinks a lot,
but he's never blacked out right before? What if he
roofied that motherfucker?
Speaker 3 (41:10):
Like who else.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Slip them a mickey? To slip them a mickey. Oh
my lord, you know, I mean, damn, she was like
he passed out And my husband's never passed out and
he drinks a.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Lot, right right, right, So it was he was very
vulnerable situation.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
But my thing is is like, what kind of friend
did he think she was that he could try something
like that?
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Right?
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Well?
Speaker 3 (41:44):
That's the thing. I think that Like what we were
just saying, like, there's it sounds like there was a
traction there before or something.
Speaker 4 (41:54):
Yeah, but is she what.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
What made well? Also, what made him think he can
do that?
Speaker 4 (41:59):
That's what I'm saying. What type of woman is she?
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Like?
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Is she somebody who condones that with other people? So
he thought it would be cool if if he we
don't have enough.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Yeah, I think I think I'm gonna write back to.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
Them to give more details. We need more exactly what
there's more questions now.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
Yeah, because because you think think about it, right, just
let's look at it this way. What gave him? All right?
What gave him the thought that that was okay? First
of all? Second, why why would he why would he
(42:46):
just get up and say, babe, let's go.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Upstairs and make a big deal.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Exactly like you found some dude on top of you,
trying to make out with you and bumping on you
and ship you don't just get up and say, babe,
let's go upstairs. And she was like she couldn't move,
So you just went upstairs yourself? I mean, no, something
something that?
Speaker 3 (43:08):
What if that? That's the thing? What if you're it
makes you uncomfortable? Like not everyone reacts with hitting people.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Or in my house, I would at least be yelling
at them like you got to go.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
But he did get the fuck up out.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
Of here, didn't Didn't it say something about him telling
him to leave? I thought he he didn't tell him
to leave.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
My husband pushed him off, woke me up and told
me it was time for bed. Friend left. I got
really upset at my husband for wanting to go upstairs,
so he went upstairs without me.
Speaker 4 (43:51):
Yeah, so the dude just left. He didn't tell him
to leave.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Yeah, he just left.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
We don't have enough unless he was telling her to
go to bed, you know, so something else could happen.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Because I've bake my wife up and be like you
need to tell your boy to get.
Speaker 4 (44:13):
Up out of here.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (44:16):
Word, Yeah, So maybe that's why the friend left. Like
we don't know, yeah, what was said right in this situation?
Speaker 1 (44:30):
I mean it's it's yeah, I need more info, need
a lot more info.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
So based on that, we cannot come to a conclusion.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Yes, we cannot come to a conclusion of this story
until we get more information.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Correct, there will be a part two.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Yeah, it will definitely be a part two. So anyway,
I didn't ask, I didn't tg. I didn't ask you
how your last two weeks been. I'm sorry, Oh yeah,
that's not Yeah, yeah, you know what, Forget I asked
that question. Forget, I asked that question. And let's let's
let's move on. Yeah, I don't, I don't. I don't condone.
(45:14):
I wouldn't want anybody, you know, m hmm. I wouldn't. No, no, no, no,
no no no. I I feel I would feel like
like the completely violated, Like I would, I would feel
like what the fuck? You know what I'm saying? You know?
(45:39):
All right? So okay, hold on, I mean I'm looking
through the email to see if there was a yeah,
anything else on it, because we got we got I
got a lot of emails here.
Speaker 5 (45:52):
Oh let me see no, oh wow, that's that's that's
(46:19):
that's not it.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
That's definitely not it. All right, here we go, here
we go, here we go, here we go. All right,
So all right, so she says, all right, she did
she did say something else, she said, She said, oh,
(46:47):
and just to let you know, my husband isn't getting it.
I told him how you would feel if I told
you I woke up to one of your friends trying
to stick his dick in me while I was asleep.
And he said, I don't think of it like that,
and and and she, yeah, that's all she said that
(47:11):
he said that I don't think of it that way.
I think I think the husband really feels, you.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
Know, violated.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
Yeah, yeah, and he's feeling some kind of way like
you know, she's she said, she just said, like I
said to him that what if you woke up and
you know, one of your friends was trying was trying
to have sex with me, how would you feel? And
(47:45):
she just he just he just said to her that
I don't think of it that way. So maybe her
husband has some hidden.
Speaker 3 (47:52):
I'm not even taking I'm not getting that at all.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
No, No, what do you what are you getting out
of it?
Speaker 3 (48:01):
I'm getting that this person was violated and doesn't know
how to deal with it because he's that man.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
Wow, that's that's terrible.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
Because if it was the other way around, Ah, there
would have been a fight or police could have gotten
involved or whatever. But majority, as we all know from SVU,
the majority of victims don't report their crimes.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
All right, all right, here I got another email. This
is this is another one? All right? So I used
to think my wife, I used to think my girlfriend
was nagging. I just I'm just realizing now that I
did not respect her concerns. Now that I've realized this,
(48:58):
how do I change the behavior? All right? Here's the
body of it. I often don't use the word nagging
in my head because I falsely think that it's just
a dirty word that only shitty partners use. So instead
the things.
Speaker 3 (49:20):
You know.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Instead, I think of things like she's neurotic, or a
control freak, or being too hard on me, which is
even worse. But somehow it's kept me distant, distant from
her and lying to myself about what I'm doing. It
(49:41):
creates a cycle where she tells me not to do
something or ask me to do it differently. I apologize,
but internally I don't see where she's coming from or
think about why she actually cares. I get defensive in
my head myself why I don't do it, why I
(50:02):
did it, and twisting it into her for not understanding
why I did it in the first place. Sometimes I
explain my reasoning, which gets respectfully but firmly shut down,
and then I play the victim and think I'm being
(50:23):
invalidated when I repeat the behavior. She's upset because I
clearly don't listen or take it seriously enough to change.
To change last time, I feel a growing resentment for
being criticized all the time. It's so toxic and it's
(50:45):
hurting our relationship so much. I do love her and
have respect for her, but in the moment, I think
of myself and throw her under the bus. Does she
deserve that? How can I change it?
Speaker 3 (51:00):
First of all, there's not enough information in that email
either because we can't blanket statement behavior and things you're doing,
because it could literally be that you are fucking someone
and that's the behavior of what. Or it could be
that you're like leaving dishes everywhere and not putting them
(51:22):
in the stink or so what is it? So? Yeah,
the bitch could be nagging, but I don't know because
I don't know right, this has to be specific. But
if you're feeling like shit's toxic, then maybe it is.
And I don't you know, And if you're feeling this
(51:44):
kind of way, maybe this isn't your person. Again. People
need to stop being so afraid to leave people.
Speaker 4 (51:52):
Just go just.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
Get a fucking something.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
Because I'm about the just leaving people, because that's how
we got to where we are. But having these conversations
before you get in it with people, like asking these
questions that you think are embarrassing or stupid or whatever,
like these are the facts of life.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
I need to know. When you sleep, do you fart?
I need to know.
Speaker 3 (52:23):
I'm pretty sure we all do.
Speaker 4 (52:27):
But I mean, I'm.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Talking about stuff like that, like when you eat, do
you eat with your mouth open? When you take off
the you know, when you brush your teeth, do you
leave the cap off? Stupid stuff like that, when you spend,
when you.
Speaker 3 (52:38):
Right, when you go to the store, do you like
go to the cheaper places and you look for deals
and get coop and stuff?
Speaker 2 (52:45):
Or do you got to be name brands exacts exactly? Yeah,
these are these are conversations. Do you want kids? Do
you want to get married? Uh?
Speaker 4 (52:58):
Do you like to be tagged on my Facebook? Whatever?
Speaker 3 (53:03):
Yeah? Do you like drugs? Do you like alcohol? Like?
Speaker 2 (53:07):
Are you?
Speaker 3 (53:09):
These are all like yeah, if we're gonna be in
a confined space together, we have to be able to
get along and kind of have more things in common
than differences.
Speaker 2 (53:26):
And the thing like do you believe in sex before marriage?
Speaker 3 (53:29):
That's a big deal, huge, huge, And and like again,
do you want marriage? Huge? Like these are things that
you should know of, Like what are the fucking people
talking about? For real? Because if we're getting in a
real relationship, why isn't that conversation having like being I
(53:52):
don't get that.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
You know why? Because when I have those conversations, they're like, oh,
you're too much. You need to loosen up and just
go with the flow.
Speaker 3 (54:01):
Yeah, because you know the flow?
Speaker 4 (54:04):
Yeah, you have no intention.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
Well, it depends, It really depends on the season.
Speaker 3 (54:14):
It's tax season, right, we're all in love.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
We're all in love, right now, get that child tax credit.
We're all.
Speaker 3 (54:30):
I want to talk about taxes. It's another trigger. We
can't even go.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
There there either. All right, this is going to be
the last email of the night. All right, so here
we go. This will be the last one and then
we'll we'll discuss this one. This one seems pretty pretty
pretty decent. Not that the other ones weren't. They just
they just weren't we need them to be. But this
(54:56):
one's interesting. I've been seeing someone for over a year.
We have a pretty decent relationship, and we get along
pretty well. We have our moments where we argue, but
it's never over anything crazy. Sometimes I feel he doesn't
(55:22):
value my opinion, or he doesn't value or take what
I say too seriously when I need him to. Here
is the dilemma. He has children, they're adults, and they
still don't know about me. The thing is that I
(55:44):
want to plan things with his children. I want to
do things with him and his children. I want to
be involved in their lives, and my old eyes hold on.
I want to be in the lives of him and
his children. I love this man very much. He talks
(56:05):
about his children all the time, and I want to
be a part of his world. So how do I
go around getting him to understand that being a part
of his world, being being a part of his children's
lives as well is it a red flag that he
doesn't want me to meet his children or he hasn't
told them about me. What can I do to make
(56:28):
the situation better for him to be able to tell
his children. He tells me that the reason why he
hasn't said anything to his children is because we fight
a lot. But I don't see us fighting all the time.
I see us fighting and bickering over things, but he
feels that he needs time to make sure that we
(56:52):
have something sturdy before he tells his children anything about me.
I hope this isn't too much much for you, guys.
I just want my relationship to be good and wholesome.
So hopefully the advice you give me I can take
and move forward with and apply it to what it
(57:15):
is I need to do well.
Speaker 4 (57:16):
She answered her own question.
Speaker 3 (57:18):
I was going to say, he told you, Yeah, he
told her he's.
Speaker 4 (57:21):
Not sure that they are for one another.
Speaker 2 (57:25):
Speaking as a parent, nobody gets to meet my kids
unless I'm sure that me and this person are serious
and going to be committed.
Speaker 4 (57:35):
Because children, children.
Speaker 3 (57:37):
Well it doesn't matter how old they are. There adults, yeah.
Speaker 4 (57:39):
There still are kids.
Speaker 2 (57:41):
They're a privilege, not a right. Just because we're seeing
each other or daity doesn't give you the right to
know my kids.
Speaker 4 (57:49):
When when I'm sure that this is something that I want.
Speaker 2 (57:52):
To be a part of long term, that's when I'm
going to involve the loves of my life and expose
them to you. Again, no matter how old they are,
They're not even gonna know about you until I'm sure
about you. So you know, he told her, I'm just wondering.
Speaker 3 (58:09):
She has to respect that though, and then take that
as so, are you willing to put in more effort
and time. What's on one who's still not sure about
you a year in?
Speaker 1 (58:21):
Right? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (58:22):
Because that's a big deal too.
Speaker 3 (58:24):
And if you feel right and if you haven't had
those conversations that we then it's time to go. I
think everyone today just needs to go.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
Because if if it's been a year and you're still
not sure about.
Speaker 3 (58:43):
It, said, yeah, like, what are this is? This is
my thing? I'm recognizing. I don't know if it's a
woman thing, but uh, y'all are not listening to what
he is giving and putting out. It's very frustrating when
(59:06):
I hear complaints women make and stuff like that, because
I'm just like, well, he's telling you actions. You know
the phrase actions speak louder than words, and it's still
very true. Like someone can say a lot, but what
they show is the action. That's what matters. So pay
(59:30):
attention to that and listen to your gut because your
guy's gonna guide you and tell you even if you
don't want to hear it, it's there for a reason.
Like they're telling you straight up, this is what it is. Right,
you're not going to change that. You're not, you know, like,
(59:53):
I don't know if it's something that we were taught
by society or whatever, that we are the one that's
gonna change him and make him this great man. No,
like he is a great man or he fucking isn't.
Like that's what it is, and maybe he needs to
grow to be a great man, but that doesn't mean
(01:00:14):
that it's you that's gonna make that happen.
Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Yeah, that's a man for somebody else and just not
for you, right, because whoever he is somebody, that's what
they want.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Yeah, Yes, that's that's that's what it is. That's what
it is. I mean, do you consider that a red flag?
Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
Though?
Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
Yes, it's yeah, because this is not what he wants.
Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
Because she's more into it apparently than he is, right
because she feels like she's in the place that she
should meet them and he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
So and I mean personally, if it's a year, if
it's if we get to a year and I haven't
metric kids yet, then this relationship isn't going anywhere, because
for me, that's not I don't agree with that. Yeah,
because a year, I mean.
Speaker 3 (01:01:16):
It depends what the relationship is, how serious it is,
if people are taking their time in that relationship to
truly get to know one another. I'd be okay with
waiting a while to meet someone's children because I would
want them to be sure of me before getting me
(01:01:36):
wrapped up and all that drama. Right at the end
of the day, it's going to be drama because I
am not part of that family technically.
Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Well, I'm too old to be waiting a year for
you to tell me if you're sure or not.
Speaker 4 (01:01:57):
That's all.
Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
We all all the time in the world. Oh yeah, yeah,
And if not, then we'll be in the nursing homes
and our little Vespa scooter thingies, fucking smacking asses along
the hallway.
Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Getting STDs and like that.
Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
People out there, yep, yep, pretty much, sphilis, gonorrhea, all
the good stuff. Club media.
Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
Yeah yeah, all right, Well we answered a bunch of
emails tonight. Yeah. Now I'm gonna be I'm gonna be
gonna be straight out. I'm gonna I'm gonna definitely right
back to these people and get more more in depth
on what these emails, especially the one with the husband.
Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
I really want to know you got more questions, more
questions than if they you know, if they'd like to
give more than more it's not.
Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
That's okay, Yeah, it's okay. All right. So with that
being said, it's an early night. It's an early night. Yeah,
it's only ten o'clock, but that's okay.
Speaker 3 (01:03:21):
Feels like it's December twenty twenty six.
Speaker 1 (01:03:24):
Ay, yeah, it's I mean.
Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
Twenty twenty five. Not, it's just like I'm that here.
I am not here. I'm definitely somewhere else. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
Okay, Trump cut off the food stamps.
Speaker 4 (01:03:45):
I'm not focused. I'm joking.
Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
That's let's not start up.
Speaker 3 (01:03:52):
It already hurts this my hurt, This might hurt this hurt.
Let's go her for real.
Speaker 1 (01:03:59):
Listen, let's let's up.
Speaker 3 (01:04:02):
All right, Maybe we should just like have this might
hurt political side podcast?
Speaker 4 (01:04:09):
Yeah, just one onecast that we let them know.
Speaker 3 (01:04:14):
Well, no, put it out there, you know, so you
want to. I think it's I think it's good to
share information in facts, just saying just saying.
Speaker 1 (01:04:27):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
You know what I'm saying. Life, Life is hard.
Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
Mm hmmm, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (01:04:36):
I think I'm gonna move to Vermont. They have moose there. Yeah,
the is it mooses? Moose? Sounds weird. Moose.
Speaker 1 (01:04:51):
I just ran to a bunch of moose. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
That's it sounds wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:04:59):
Just fish, like all those fish.
Speaker 5 (01:05:02):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
It is what it is.
Speaker 3 (01:05:06):
Yes, that's true.
Speaker 4 (01:05:07):
Or a murder of cruise.
Speaker 3 (01:05:11):
I know. There's some interesting English is interesting.
Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
Yeah, like the word knife. It's not a knife, it's knife.
It should be it should be.
Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
For one day we should like just say the k
in words like you can know you know instead of
you know, can know? Does your can hurt? You?
Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
Better be careful? I slab stab you my knife.
Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
Oh that reminds me of a stewie with the with
a whip. He has to say the eight.
Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
It's so funny, right, all right, So with that being said,
I'm big. That's lady, that's t G love whatever however
you pronounce it. All right, here we go and I
(01:06:17):
and remember the name Saint Charles. That's when you tag
down there. My my, My granddaughter says, I'm an international spy.
So that's how I say my name. Now, yeah, she said,
she said, Grandpa, you're an international spy. Now. I was like, okay,
whatever you want to call me, she said, Saint Charles,
Saint So I told I was. I told I was
(01:06:41):
double O nine all right, all.
Speaker 4 (01:06:46):
Right, not the commander, all right.
Speaker 1 (01:06:53):
Yeah, So good night everybody. Thank you for coming by,
Thanks for for sharing your emails, Send more emails in
all the email addresses are there. Thanks for the viewers tonight.
You appreciate you, We love you, and always remember that
at some point.
Speaker 3 (01:07:09):
This might heart.
Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
Good Night, everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
Night,
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