Wild N' Out Wednesday (Recorded LIVE On 11-20-24)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
A king.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Here. What's up everybody? This is big holdly of this
by her podcast, coming to you live from use your imagination.
I don't know, but and someone watching right now, hit
up the chat room and let me know if you

(02:28):
can hear me, because I was having some kind of
technical difficulties before. So if anyone can let me know
in the chat room, if you can hear me, I
would appreciate that. Anybody before we start, I just want

(02:55):
to make sure I'm heard, all right, all right, cool, midnight.
Thank you very much. I appreciate it. I really appreciate it.
Thank you. So it's been a couple of weeks, you know,
since we've been live. Thank you very much. Thank you, Valerie.

(03:16):
I appreciate it. It's been a couple of weeks since
our last show, and and things have happened, you know
what I'm saying, circumstances beyond Thank you appreciate it. Thank
you very much. Thanks for checking in, Thanks for letting

(03:38):
me know I'm heard. Is if I wasn't, if I
couldn't be heard, then it'd be a problem. So due
to circumstances beyond my control, we had to take a
little bit of a break. Not well It wasn't a
break because we didn't want to be here with you guys.
It was just that things have happened and we just

(04:02):
had a maneuver shit around, you know. So with that
being said, I'm surprised I don't have any of my
co hosts here yet. But the show must go on,
you know what I'm saying. So how was everybody? I
mean we got to call people in the chat room?
How is everybody's week? Two weeks? How's everybody been? Are

(04:26):
you guys ready for the holidays? I mean, I'm not
ready for the holidays, you know what I'm saying. I mean,
I'm just I'm not. It's not that I'm not ready,
It's just that I don't know what to expect. You know,

(04:50):
I have I have a pretty decent sized family. So
I'm trying to figure out what I'm gonna do to
prep for the holidays. You know what I'm saying. How
do you prep for your holidays? You know? What is
it you do to get ready for Thanksgiving? Christmas? New Year's?

(05:11):
You know? How do you how do you handle your ship?
You know? I mean, let's let's be real. Not every nothing,
Not everybody's in a good financial space. You can't. You can't.
You can't go out there and get everything you want for.

(05:32):
Everybody want to get you want to get for. You know,
it's not easy. It's it's it's definitely difficult. You know
what I'm saying. I mean, I don't know, I got
I got a lot of a lot of people I
gotta get for. I gotta buy for. You know what
I'm saying, Man, Now you hate the holidays? Why do
you hate the holidays? Why why do you hate the holidays?

(06:04):
Can you tell me? I mean, if you want you uh,
you out there doing instacart, trying to make a dollar? Yeah,
I get it, man. And times are rough. Times are
real fucking rough. You know what I'm saying. I mean,

(06:25):
I get it. It's hard. It's not easy. It's definitely
not easy. You know, move this camera a little bit, yeah,
I mean times, times are rough. Times are hard. It's
not easy to make a living out here these days,
you know what I'm saying. I mean, even if, even

(06:46):
if you have a nine to five forty hour week job,
you know what I'm saying, it's tough to make ends meet,
you know what I mean, It's tough to to to
satisfy your your needs as as a consumer. You know
what I'm saying. I mean, it's not it's very difficult,

(07:10):
you know, and it's it's it's pretty fucked up what's
going on out there these days. You know what I'm saying,
what I what I alright, so so so value you
have a love hate relationship with the holidays, all right?

(07:33):
And then what what is your love hate relationship with
the holidays? And what's this right here? It's not easy.
It's hard when the holidays come around. But I do
what I have to do for my kids, absolutely, Absolutely.
You have to do what you gotta do for your
kids and family, you know. Just don't don't don't don't

(07:54):
don't take hits. You know what I'm saying. Somebody comes
to you and says, yo, I need you to to
to pull off a hit on somebody for this loop
for the holidays, Don't do it. You know what I'm saying.
We don't want nobody going to jail, you know what
I mean. Just be easy and do what you gotta
do in your own way to do what you gotta
do for your fan. You know, that's it, you know

(08:16):
what I'm saying, So so the reason, the reason why,
Oh I don't know what that that is. Okay, oh
that's what all right, that's what I wanted. So the
reason why we weren't around for two weeks, two and
a half weeks, probably we missed two shows. The reason

(08:39):
being is that I was ill. You know what I'm saying.
I had some issues that you know, I had to
I had to take care of I'm saying my health.
I was hospitalized, you know what I mean. And I

(09:02):
really couldn't. I couldn't do a show from the hospital,
you know what I mean. It would be dope have
been dope, right, It would have been nice doing the
show from the hospital. Yeah, live from blah blah blah
blah blah hospital. You know what I'm saying. This might
hurt podcast. Yeah, you know what I mean, it would
have been nice, but you know, I couldn't, Like we
we couldn't do a show, you know, because of that.

(09:24):
That was the two weeks ago, and then last week
pretty much the same thing. I got ill again and
we had to put it on hold. So I'm glad that,
you know what I'm saying, We're able to come back,
you know what I'm saying. And and entertain you guys.
You know what I'm saying. So I'm doing all right now,
you know what I mean. I'm I'm doing much much

(09:45):
much better. You know, shit is under control. Things are
are good. What I'm saying, things are pretty good. You know,
I'm not I'm not in or nothing like that, because
if I was dying or something like that, then who's
gonna do the show? Who's gonna be here, Who's gonna

(10:06):
make you guys Laugh's gonna talk shit? Who's gonna say
ship that you don't expect to be said? I don't know,
somebody's gotta be here and talk shit.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Right.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
If it's not gonna be us, who else is it
gonna be that? That? That's That's just a simple answer.
And I'm kind of wondering why aren't my co host
here yet? Well, like I said, show must go on.
So the bottom right here says official websites Www Dot

(10:39):
This Might Hurt podcast dot com and www dot The
Manic Minute. Those are the two websites that you guys
can go check out to check out the show and
check out, you know what I'm saying, all our all
our content and everything you can find at those websites
and here. What we do here is you have all

(11:01):
the email addresses of all the individual co hosts. If
you want to contact us co host specifically, there's their
email address. If you want to talk to a co
host specifically, you wanna, you know whatever, hit them up
and they'll get back to you and without further ado.

(11:26):
What's this? Let me see? I love the holidays back
when with kids, with all the nostalgia and good memories,
but there are moments where bringing back memories that are
painful and just I just want to shut out. I
understand completely, Valterie. I know exactly what you mean. You know,

(11:48):
I mean, it's it's it's not it's not easy, especially
around the How I'm gonna actually, you know what, I'm
gonna bring in my co host, Lady g who can
who can speak on that? Okay, hold on, let me
bring her in a gleg.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
What's up?

Speaker 2 (12:07):
What's going on?

Speaker 3 (12:08):
Not much?

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Sorry, I'm late, that's all right, that's all right.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
But some heating issues, some what heating issues?

Speaker 2 (12:18):
Heating issues. But you couldn't get into the blanket.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
I didn't have no heat.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Oh that's not good.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yeah, hey, but but it happens when you're a homeowner.
You gotta deal with the mess. So, yes, I just
heard about miss Valerie's comment.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yeah, let me put it back on the screen. That's
what it said. That's what it.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
Said back when we were kids. Okay, yeah, So and
that is that is an interesting comment only because she's

(13:03):
not the only one who feels that way, right. So
something that I've actually been helping people deal with lately,
uh is the idea of past traumas, past pains.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (13:19):
You know, our our young self, our child, you know,
our our little child within right, So especially people our
age corleone, where Christmas was a whole different ball of wax.
You know, Yeah, Christmas was you know, about christ and

(13:42):
about family and you know, really about the feelings that
it brought people. It wasn't so much the commercial the
commercialized holiday that it is today. And and parents and
families were you know, poor and couldn't afford, but they
were all as wonderful. Like I know for a fact
that you know, I was brought up by a single

(14:04):
mother and I'm one of seven, so I was brought
up by a single mother who couldn't afford gifts all
the time. And actually there were a lot of inner
city programs that helped her, you know, to provide not

(14:26):
how doing, how you doing? You know so? And the
thing about it was, it wasn't what she did or got,
you know, what she got for us, what she was
able to provide the truth is she made it a
big deal and and did little tiny things that made

(14:50):
it so special, you know. And you know, like I remember,
we had this little glass nativity and it was tiny.
We got it at the Berlin Mart down here in
off Jersey, and uh, she would save that till very last.
Like we'd put up lights and all this stuff, whatever
lights we had, but this little glass crystal nativity and nobody,

(15:14):
like she made it so special, Like nobody was allowed
to touch it, nobody was allowed to put it up.
She had to pick one of us every year to
actually be able to put that up, right, and we
and they're just little, teeny tiny figurines. We'd put it
on this wooden table with little lights and grass around

(15:35):
it and all this stuff, and it just made it
real special. So it was what she did with us, right,
And what happens is as we get older, and I
know I'm a long winded talker.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
One second, just let me bring in doves real quick
and tell him to hold off on his thoughts.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
Just give me one and you know he's not going to.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
Just give me one second.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Doves was good.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
So what happens is as we get older, things start
to happen, right, we start losing people, uh, significant adult
things start to happen, and then like vow, we you know,
we get to this place where certain holidays bring up
bad memories. Right, and unfortunately to say this, but it

(16:29):
is the reality. No one is going to get out
of this life without something bad happening on a holiday.
The key to it is what are we going to
allow to keep us from these holidays that we enjoyed,
that made so much sense, that brought a lot of

(16:51):
love into our lives. Right, So we lose people, bad
things happen, and then we start to feel like we
don't want to celebrate that holiday anymore. You know, it
becomes a depressing time instead of a happy time. Well,
one of the things is we have to try to
create new memories with those old people in them. We

(17:16):
have to bring our past to our present and create
different memories in order to be able to maintain right.
So I lost my mom when I was in my
early twenties, I was barely out of the teenage years.
So my birthday actually because that's when she you know,
around the time she died, my birthday every year could
potentially be a really horrible time in my life because

(17:39):
I lost one of the most important people. However, I know,
if you think about that person or you know, whatever,
do you think they want you to feel that way
at that time of the year, Right, No, more than
likely they don't. But we get to we get to

(18:01):
control how how we see those things. So what I
started doing, and I actually do it with my girls,
my daughters now, we bring they call her Aita. So
we bring my mother and my sister who passed eight
years ago. We bring them into that celebration, right, whether

(18:22):
it's with a photograph, with a candle, with something that
was theirs, or some picture, some memory, and we make
them a part of the holiday, just like they were
still here. Because, like a lot of families, I lost
my mom, and all of a sudden you realize she
was the glue that kept everybody together.

Speaker 4 (18:44):
Always wanted there's always one, there's always one, and and
and with my mom because she loved the holidays, so
much from Halloween all the way through New Year's That
was my mother's Like I'm telling you, that's when she
shined the brightest.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
And it wasn't about the things that she gave, It
wasn't about any of that. It was the way she
expressed her feelings her family time. And she was a
single parent, so I know she struggled. I know she struggled,
especially with all of us kids. So it's about how
can we change the narrative of the sad, depressing time

(19:23):
or the hurtful time, you know some of you know,
I've been divorced for five years. Holidays are some of
the hardest times for me because they were times that
I made memories. But the thing is, just because one
person is no longer a part of that doesn't mean
that I can't make new memories to create something going

(19:49):
in the future. Yeah, going forward, you know. So it
really is about talking, talking about it, communicating about it.
And I'm really getting tired. Like I said, I've been
working with people a lot lately, this whole thing about
when you're not okay, acting like it's all good. No,
I actually wear a T shirt to the gym sometimes

(20:10):
it says it's okay to not be okay, and and
some people are like, wow, that's deep. That's because sometimes
I feel like I have to do that. I have
to wear my messages on the outside of me so
that people realize it's not just them that feels this way,
you know, because we tend to think that we're the

(20:31):
only ones that feel this way, but we're not. We're not.
There are so many people that feel the same way.
And if we can help each other by knowing that
even a total stranger has difficulty, you know, we have
we have gone away. We're just a world of hurt
people hurting each other.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
You know.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
I was talking to one of my coworkers today, you know,
about relationships and stuff. So we're so used to being
ain't hurt that that's what we think is the norm.
And although we get mad about people treating us badly,
people lying to us, people doing all these things to us,
the truth is, what would we do if something real

(21:15):
and true and genuine came along? We wouldn't Actually, what's
that my hoodie read? Nope? Not today?

Speaker 2 (21:24):
All right?

Speaker 3 (21:25):
Man? No, I don't know what that means, but all right?

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Could have been that she forgot she missed a letter
and could have said that her hood he read nope,
not today, because maybe she missed the A in the red.

Speaker 3 (21:44):
I have that shirt. I just got that. I just
got that. It says nope, not today. Yep, yep Uh.
I actually went to UH last weekend. I took my
daughter to UH Peddler's Village in Pennsylvania, just for like
a Christmas thing, and I forgot I even had it on.
But I had on a T shirt that said not perfect,

(22:07):
just forgiven. And my daughter had on her peace, Love
and Jesus sweatshirt on, and I guess we didn't realize it.
But like, as we were walking there were some people
are like, I love the shirts. I love the shirts,
almost like we planned it that.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
Way right, right.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
But you really don't know how the little things that
you do really can help other people, you know. But again,
because we are a society that is so sick and
tired of being sick and tired and so tired of hurting,
we just keep on hurting each other, and we keep

(22:45):
on hurting each other and hurting each other, so that
when we do see the true people, whether it's friends,
family relationships, we don't know what to do with that
we don't know how to handle it, We don't know
how to accept it, and sometimes we end up chasing
that good thing away because we didn't know what to

(23:06):
do with it. So it's like, we really do need
to get back into this, the idea of bringing all
the bad memories, all the pain, all the damage, all
the sadness. We really do need to work on bringing
it all to the present day and what do we
want it to look like? What do we want these

(23:26):
sad holidays to now look like for us? And put
in some work and include other people. It's easier with
more than one, you know, like when we do the
show every week, even though you know we've been off
a couple of weeks right now, But when we do
this show every week, it's the four of us coming
together with our four different opinions, are four different thoughts

(23:51):
and really being a team about it. You know, I
was gonna say, except for dou who don't accept nothing, anybody.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
Has to say, yeah, I'll tell you this much, you
know what I'm saying, Like this is like totally off topic,
but isn't it always? Christmas? Christmas is like very hurtful
for me because like I never got that on that
transformer set that I asked Santam. So like, when I
see Santa, you know what I'm saying, or anybody resembling him,

(24:27):
it's on, yo, You're gonna.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
Pay what you Oh, but I got a question, duve,
when was the last time you wrote the letter to
Santa asking for that transformer?

Speaker 1 (24:36):
I just I just emailed him this week. I'm like,
you bitch, asked nigga. See it's been forty something years. Wrong, Nah, yo,
I just emailed them. I emailed him. I know he
got the message.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
Oh my goodness, because I was gonna say, maybe maybe
for you, maybe it's time for you to write that
letter again.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Nah, I emailed him. Now he got to pay. Keep
ignoring me, all right, you're getting jacked off your rein.
There's and ship. Take them take Santa sled to Nork
and take it to the chop shop.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
Stupid. Yeah. So so yeah, it's true because see with
me personally, it was my it was my well, my
grandmother was actually my great grandmother. I never I never
met it, dubs your mic the I never met my grandmother.

(25:37):
She she passed away before I was born. So my
grand my great grandmother stepped in and she was. She
was my grandma. So anyway, my grandma was the one
that held everything together. Thanksgivings, Christmas, New Years was all
at her crib, you know what I'm saying. And it
got it got to the point where she passes. And

(25:59):
then my mom held everything together. The party's at her house,
New Year's, Christmas, Thanksgiving, everything was done at her crib.
And then she passes, and now everyone is scattered and

(26:22):
I have Now I'm gonna be this is gonna sound,
this is gonna sound really crazy. But when I put
my family tree together, Okay, now we're talking of this
is a this is a fucking treat. My great my
great grandmother. In total, if she were still alive, she

(26:48):
would have over one hundred and fifteen to twenty grandkids,
over one hundred and fifteen to one hundred and twenty
total from her, her grandkids, two great grandkids, a great
great great grand like the the the my family is
so big that if we had, if we had a

(27:12):
family reunion, I'd have I'd have to rent a fucking
football field, you know. And it's it's just it's just
that no one, no one, everyone has a choice. Hold
on one second, let me do what it says. I'm

(27:33):
gonna talk you read that everyone has a choice or
whether or not they want to communicate with their family
members or whatnot. You know what I'm saying. And it's
about PS five or New Jordan's or what do you

(27:55):
say to that?

Speaker 1 (27:58):
First off? You know what I'm saying, like like you know,
like from a business aspect, what you think Black Friday
is for? You know, like like you know what I'm saying,
like like everything's right, it is commercialized because you know,
before we used to be thankful about Thanksgiving and whatever.
You know what I'm saying. Now it's like you know,
like you gather family, eat, then you run the Target

(28:20):
or run the Walmart and you wait in line. You
know what I'm saying. Just for the big and the
funny and the funny thing yo, yo yo. The funny
thing about it is that these assholes thinking that they're
getting a deal, right, you know what I'm saying, Like
for example, like let's just say, you know, a TV
costs You know what I'm saying, Like eighty five inch
screen TV costs three ninety nine for example, right, you know,

(28:40):
like that's the sale price they're gonna go get it,
and they're gonna be like, yeah, I came up on
a deal. No you didn't. That's the actual price. It's
just that the store knocked off their tax price from me.
You know what I'm saying from it being like four
fifty to three ninety nine, Like you're thinking you're getting
a deal, right, in all reality, you're not.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
Yeah, and so it's a.

Speaker 3 (29:02):
But look, guys, that that very question right there. One
of the reasons it's turned into this commercialized holiday is
because we have allowed that. We are the ones that
are participating in that. When we change how we celebrate
these holidays and then other people start to buy into that,

(29:24):
get back to basis, then we can start seeing a
different change. The reason why these stores are starting their
sales and doing all this stuff earlier and earlier every
year is because we're the ones playing into it. So
we're the ones that have to make those choices and

(29:44):
those decisions that that's not how we're spending our holiday,
right and the thing that's Valentine's Day included.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
Oh yeah, yeah, and VAL's Valentine's Day is a woman's holiday.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
No it's not. No, it's not. Is this it is?

Speaker 1 (30:06):
Meanwhile, you know what I'm saying, the mental holiday is
Super Bowl Sunday. See Valentine's Day gifts and all that stuff. Yeah,
you know, wait, you celebrating the kitchen. You know what
I'm saying. I'm in the living room watching football, Thank
you very much. Super Bowl Sunday.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Oh man, so so conversations.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
So so Like I was, like I was saying, you
have you have you have the choice to actually connect
with family. You know what I'm saying, It's up to you.
So to me, growing up, I I loved I loved

(30:47):
the holidays. You know what I'm saying. I couldn't wait.
It snowed a lot more. We played football on Thanksgiving morning,
the Turkey Bowl exactly. And then we would we would
do we would do so many things together, we would
and then and then you had the god Zilla Marathon

(31:08):
on Channel five Thursday afternoons, March of the Wooden Soldiers.
You know what I'm saying. I mean, there were so many.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
Things actually together actually actually you know what it was like, Yo,
it cut off right to football after that, Like you
know what I'm saying, Like after we came home from
playing football, we showered up, you know, set out prayer,
you know what I'm saying, watch football, Sit with your
little you know what I'm saying, Sit with the deals
in the living room while they're drinking their beer yelling
at the TV. You see what I mean. Like, but

(31:37):
like those are memories that you know what I'm saying,
Like you know what I'm saying, Like that was there,
you know what I mean. Like now it's like it's
just you know what I'm saying, Like it's whatever, man,
you know, like whatever.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
Yeah. So yeah, so I did. We we did. We
did a lot a lot of shit. My mother, my mother,
she was, she was She wasn't a single mom. She
had my sister's dad, but she was. It was pretty
much she was a single mother. So she did everything

(32:11):
she could possibly do to make the holidays good for
my sister and I. She worked at a toy store
purposely so she can get us all the newer stuff.
And you know, she she didn't come home with with
with with with with a paycheck, because everything went towards
getting the gifts and stuff and everything and making sure

(32:33):
we you know, we we wrote our lists out and
this is this is what you know it was. It was.
It was a lot and and I look I look back,
and sometimes you want you want to give your kids
those kinds of memories, you know what I'm saying, Like

(32:54):
their memories I have that I'll never ever ever forget,
Like they were things that I've gotten as gifts that
I never thought I would have, you know what I'm saying,
And and and and as a kid in the eighties,
I'm sure my age, that's all this ship right here. Anyway,
As a kid in the eighties, you know what I'm saying,

(33:16):
what was the biggest thing back then? The fucking Nintendo.
You know what I'm saying. I got Nintendo, I got
Duck Hunt, I got Zelda. I sat at home and
didn't leave the house. My friends would come over and
we'd play all fucking day, you know what I'm saying.
And and it was it was such a special time.
It was such a great time, you know what I'm saying.

(33:38):
It's just hard because as you get older, you want
your kids to to feel what you felt, you know
what I mean. And then as as as they get older,
you want them to share those, you know, build new
memories with their children, you know what I mean. So

(33:59):
I look back and I look at my kids and
I'm like, sometimes I get I get emotional because I
don't know how to feel personally. Sometimes nowadays, I don't
know how to feel about the holidays because I'm I'm
one of those. I'm one of them dudes. Like I

(34:22):
feel I feel like I want to have everyone together,
you know what I mean, Like I want to bring
everyone together. My kids are scattered, and I'm trying my
best this year to try and bring everyone back together.
And if I can do that, I would I would
appreciate greatly if I if I can get something like

(34:46):
that done. You know, I'm not I'm not getting younger.
It's just that my my oldest daughter, she's she's having
another baby. So I'm yeah, she's having a boys. She's
doing January and and I'm talking. And if she's listening,
uh and and and and and let me tell you something.

(35:08):
If you're listening, and I know you're watching, you're one
of those people that are in that are watching Mark
my words, Mark, And I'm gonna say it now and
it's gonna happen. Your son will not, I repeat, will
not be a Giants fan. Just your son will not

(35:30):
be a Giants fan. I will raise that kid to
be a Washington fan. Everything I don't say, don't send me.
Don't send me a list because I'm not gonna check
it twice. Anything that has to do with football will
be Washington. If you will not, you will be a

(35:54):
Giant fan. Mark my word.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
She's gonna send your text and get them Lawrence Taylor jersey.
All you're gonna see is tailor. You're gonna bring them
with Sean Taylor's jersey.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
Sean Taylor Jack whoopsies who also with tailor?

Speaker 1 (36:09):
And I thought about Sean. That's the only Tailor I know.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
Yep, So mark my words. Anyway, So I want to
try and get everybody together, and because sometimes I get emotional,
like I sit down and I think about it, and
it's like, damn, you know, I gotta I gotta bring
I gotta bring the family together. If nobody else is
gonna do it, I gotta do it, you know. And

(36:34):
I want to. I want to have everyone together. It
would mean a whole ship load to me if I
can get everybody together.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
And you know, so you know what, around this time,
I'm like a Grench show, Like I'm like, you know
what I'm saying, Like yo, whatever with this holidays. Man, whatever,
But what is.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
It that causes you to be so grinchy? Like I
don't understand control?

Speaker 1 (37:09):
Yo? You know what, it lost its luster, man, became
all about vanity. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (37:13):
Allowed it?

Speaker 1 (37:15):
I allowed it first off? First off, wait, wait, wait, wait,
I allowed shipping. You know what I'm saying. I'm just
I'm just looking around them. I'm just like observing them,
like I'm like, yo, you know what, that's what you're
thankful for that you bought the TV had targets like
right after.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
But you don't have to buy into that.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
That's other you know what by humble leave me alone?

Speaker 2 (37:38):
Yeah? All right, So I'm a firm believer that just
because it kind of says twelve twenty five, does I
mean you have to do your family gathering on that day?
You can make your own day with your family. Yeah,
that's after. You're absolutely right. You are absolutely right, And
you know, yeah, Festivus exactly of us. Yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll,

(38:02):
we'll start off with the feats of strength, happy festivals. Yeah. Now,
but on the real I mean, it's it's it's true.
I mean, it doesn't have to be Christmas doesn't have
to be Thanksgiving, doesn't have to be what it could be.
It could be Monday afternoon at four o'clock. As long
as it's before Monday night football, it's all good. But

(38:24):
it could be any day of the week. But I'm
just saying, like you're on the holidays, you know, you
you look at it as as a special time. Not
that any day is in a special day to hang
out with your kids and your grandkids. But but what
I'm saying is there are times throughout the year that
you want to spend extra time with them and do

(38:45):
more things with them, you know. So that's just I
don't know, that's just how I feel. M you know,
I mean, I'm getting I'm getting to I'm getting to
a point where it's like I'm I'm I'm I'm worried
about a lot of things. You know, Actually I worry
about a lot of shit.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
Yeah, your mortality is coming into question, you know.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
What I'm saying. And it's I used to say to myself.
I used to say to myself. No, no, not not
not not that. I used to say to myself, I'm
fucking immortal to God says so. And you know, I
get up in the morning and it's like ouch ooch.

(39:31):
You know what I'm saying, Like, oh damn, I don't
want to get up, you know what I mean? Sometimes
I can.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Yeah, I mean the only reason why you're out in
the UTA is because you know what I'm saying of
the doggy style entry yourself in a couple of weeks ago,
I told you, man, you can't be doing them things.
You know what I'm saying, Yo, I told you what
I told you. Take that your only fans page, Kink
Schlong is out of service. All right. I can't be
doing them things no more, bro, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (39:58):
La lady G. Yeah, hold on, see something.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Happened sham pair of WiFi Bill.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
Lady G.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
I'm here.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
Yeah, but there's two there's two screws, all right, one
just left right. You had two screens up, okay, yeah,
popped up? Yeah yeah, there was four. There was four
in the room, and two of them were your icons.
I don't know how that happened.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
I know how it happened, like WI fun.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
Yeah, so but but really, that that's you know, that's
that's what I think. I mean. I just I just
wanted to I just want the holidays to to be
I you know what I mean. I want I want
my mind. I want all the kids to be together.
I want I want all that ship.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
You know, every day should be a holiday. You wake up,
I'm saying, maybe you wake up. I'm saying, there, it
is a holiday right there.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
Yeah, so, I mean I don't know. Yeah, so anyway,
let's so, lady, how is how was your your your vacation?
You're two weeks off from the show. How did you
how did you spend it? How did you are you?

Speaker 1 (41:28):
Everything?

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Good?

Speaker 3 (41:29):
Big roller coaster? Well I got a promotion.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
Nice congratulations.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
Yeah so that was good.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
So now now you're holding the baby oil.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
Wow. No, Now I'm not going to be homeless when
my alimony stops.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
That's good, congratulations, Thanks.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
I earned it. I worked hard, I worked hard for it.
It's it's been a roller coaster ride, you know, because
life LIFs and uh so, it's been good. Had some
bad things, you know, But the type of person I am,

(42:27):
you know, I don't allow those things to steal my
joy because the truth of the matter is, I know
who I am, I know my value, my worth, I
know what I have to offer people and this world.
Uh So I'm not worried. I'm not worried because at
the end of the day, I know what's coming for me.

(42:52):
So so I don't worry. I don't worry, you know.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
So all right, So let me ask you a question. Yeah,
we know, we know that. You know you're into into
the church and stuff, and I'm.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
Into the church.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
No, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (43:13):
Like you, I am a very faithful person. I yes,
I very much believe in God and I have seen things,
seen things in my life, you know.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
All right, so check this out. This is my question
to you. Yeah, hold on, this is for you.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
Oh, thank you, midnight. I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
So do you do you feel or think that people
who are afraid to die are not living their lives
properly or do you think that people who are with
with God and living that type of life aren't afraid

(44:06):
to die because they have God on their side. Now,
this isn't This is just a quick religious thing just
because you know, we don't talk religion. But I just
wanted to know your quick quick your quick thought on
that because I I I heard I heard a dude
say that in a tract, actually that people who are
who aren't right with their lives are afraid to die,

(44:31):
and people who are.

Speaker 5 (44:34):
Aren't right.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
Well, on the on the face of that, I would
say I agree, but there's more to that. I don't
know that. It's that they're they're not living their right lives.
It's they have nothing to be connected to, you know.
So it's like people who who don't have and it's

(44:57):
not even just knowing God, it's having an actual relationship
with him. So it's like people who don't know him,
don't talk about him, don't live for him, you know,
all those things. They have a fear of dying because
that knowledge of not knowing that, not having knowledge of
what comes next. Where the people who actually have a

(45:18):
relationship with God or religion or their belief system, right,
they have a promise, right, And in every religion there's
still what we call faith, and faith is knowing that
which we cannot see, trusting, you know, trusting in the

(45:38):
things we can see. So for the most part, I
do agree with that, but it's more of a heart
and mind thing and not necessarily a knowledge thing. Okay,
So when you don't have anything you know to look
forward to, when you don't, when you don't know, it's

(45:59):
scary and that's with everything, not just dying, because I'm sorry,
even the people out in the street who talk about
they're not afraid to die, that's a lie. I mean,
on the face, they might not be afraid because that's
what they've adopted, Like they've they've accepted that dying is

(46:19):
a consequence of the life that they live. So yeah,
they might not be afraid, but if they were to
sit and really think about it, they'd probably be scared
out of there. But Jesus, because they have no idea
what happens after that, right, you know?

Speaker 2 (46:40):
All right, I just don't We don't talk religion here.
I just wanted it was just a quick, quick.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
Well I mean, I mean, you know what I'm saying,
Like you said, the double down on it, you know.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
Like.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
The faith part is like what people what carries like
a lot of people over you see what I mean,
Because like it's like you know that that that trust
tests where like you know, like trust me. You know
what I'm saying, standards that trust me to form gonna
catch you. You know what I'm saying. You take that, Yeah,

(47:14):
you know what I'm saying. And not only that, you
know what I'm saying, Like like you know, the Bible
means basic constructures before leaving Earth. You know what I'm saying.
So it's like follow you know what I'm saying, foul
the rules from Genesis to Revelations. You know what I'm saying, Like,
it'll be all right. But what makes it hard is

(47:36):
that God gave us free will. You know what I'm saying.
What makes it hard is that God made this planet.
But the double runs for a time being. That's what
makes everything so hard. That's why things are the way
they are now, you.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
Know, because like and and I get it.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
So so it's so you know what I'm saying at
the end of the day. You know what I'm saying,
like like like yo, you know what I used to
say before. It's like, I ain't afraid to die. I'm
afraid to end up. I'm afraid that I would end up.
You know what I'm saying, Well, I would end up
after because you know what, and because yes, I go
to trust. You know what I'm saying, believe it or not,
because you know what, after this life is done. You

(48:19):
know what I'm saying. Your body dies, so your soul
this forever. You know what I'm saying, where do you
go from here? Is depends on what you do on
this planet, you know what I'm saying. It depends like
if you follow you know what I'm saying, follow the
steps of righteousness or straight away like most of the
population does.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Yeah, yeah, I understand. I know.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
I don't know if it's about not living your life
right though, Like I don't know that that's that's what
causes people fear, because like when I was young, oh
my goodness, if you even said the word die around me,
I would flip out, like and I don't know why
I was so afraid, Like I was fifteen years old,

(49:01):
screaming and hollering because somebody would say the word die
in front of me. And I just don't know what
it was. I think it was just not knowing what
happens after or.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
You know, what to put up to put it, to
put it, you know what I'm saying, to put it
in such a game, saying perspective where they at three
sixties or whatever, we're living to die. Yeah, well yeah,
my bad, we're living to die right now, Like we're living,
but we're gonna die. We're living to die. I Meanwhile,
there's people in the hospital is dying to live. You
know what I'm saying, Like it's it's like morbid, but

(49:39):
it's beautifully morbid, you know what I'm saying. Because it's
a cycle of life. You know now what it's so
you know what I'm saying. What you do on this earth,
you know what I'm saying, It's part of it, you
know what I mean? Like like you know, like I'm
like seriously, I'm trying to get my soul right. Like
I'm seriously, like you know, I'm a joke around blah

(50:00):
blah blah, but you know those are no no, Like
I'm really trying to get my soul right, you know
because like like you know, like you ain't gonta believe
in the supernatural stuff or whatever, but it's out there,
you know, Like it's you know what I'm saying, it's
it's there whether you believe it or not. You know,
like it there is there, It exists. That's the reason

(50:24):
why I like, you know, like I said, I'm just
trying to get my soul correct.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
All right, So check this shit out now that you're
trying to get your soul correct. Now you notice, I
know I we have a ton of new viewers, right, Okay,
I can tell from over here on this side. I
don't know. I y'all can see it, but I can
see it. We got a ton of new viewers, right.

(50:51):
So for the new viewers that are out there, I
want you.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
I'm going to stop your explained just like, yeah, I
just joke y'all. Y'all come here and joke around, like,
don't even take me serious? What's up?

Speaker 2 (51:06):
Reintroduce yourself to everybody. Do it in your own way.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Doves are don a k a Simon Phoenix murder that
killed Yeah, you know what I'm saying. AKA that was playing.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
Tell tell the fans about you. Tell the fans about
Dubs like you introduce your people.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
Duves a don I like my pet poodle. I like long,
like to un appear under the moonlight. I like stroking
my own nipple, you know, because I lacked it sometimes milk.
But I'm old now, so the milk's gone bad, you know,
like it used to be milk and I was powder.

(51:46):
I like cooking.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
Why did I even do this?

Speaker 6 (51:49):
I don't know, Yeah, yeah, yeah, now, Dubbs, the don
you know, I ain't gonna I will disclose my age, ok,
Jersey I'll disclosed.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
That I'm here, you know, like those are no, those
are know we know, you know, you know what I'm saying.
I'm very cynical, you know, because life itself is cynical.
Life itself is a tragic comedy, and we all got
to laugh at it.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
Okay, okay, And and you.

Speaker 1 (52:29):
Know what I'm saying. And I'll tea and I tea
bag pigeons, all right?

Speaker 5 (52:32):
Next, yeah, yeah, bag pigeon. I don't know, My god,
I don't know, Lady G.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
Follow up with that.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
I don't know if I can. All right, So I'm
Lady G. Sometimes called the Lavotra. Uh yeah. I am
originally from South America. Grew up in Camden, New Jersey,
and Miami, Florida.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
Oh what part of Miami? Hold up?

Speaker 3 (53:12):
Miami Beach.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
Oh, so you went to high school Miami Beach.

Speaker 3 (53:18):
No, high school, I went here in Camden. I went
to elementary school in Miami Beach.

Speaker 1 (53:23):
Oh. I was about to say, because like I went
to you know what I'm saying, Like I went to
high school in Dade County as well. Oh, versus Miami
Miami Senior. You know, the high and then like you know,
like we moved down to Homestead and like I went
to Homestead High and Yo, you know what one thing

(53:43):
about you know what I'm saying, like not mind you,
this is the nineties, right, one thing about Miami.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
Music is right, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
Yeah, yoh, I did that shit on purpose? Go ahead,
No you didn't know you didn't?

Speaker 3 (53:55):
Yeah, yeah, no, I don't think you took your medicine.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
I actually actually did, actually did. I'm just like, you
know what I'm saying. I'm just in abug that moved today.

Speaker 3 (54:05):
Like I just want to like, you know, yeah, I
am a divorced mother of two daughters. I have a granddaughter.
As I've discussed on the show, I was a marriage
and family therapist for about twenty years. I don't usually
come on camera. I guess some people are curious about that.

(54:28):
I never come on camera.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
You don't have to explain why.

Speaker 3 (54:32):
But no, no, yeah, but you know, I'm here, I'm present.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
You know.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
It's just it's not something I can do. And uh,
I guess a lot of people would call it boring.
I don't find it boring. Uh, But I guess I
tend to be more serious than the rest of the group.
But I'm more the philosophical one. I'm the one who

(55:00):
puts things into perspective, you know, kind of gets to
the deeper meaning of things.

Speaker 1 (55:08):
You know.

Speaker 3 (55:08):
Sometimes I'm needed, sometimes I'm not, but I'm always here.
What else? What else?

Speaker 2 (55:16):
What was that you always needed? Lady?

Speaker 3 (55:20):
I'm like a blanket. I don't I don't say much,
I don't do much. But if you turn around to
grab me, I'm right there.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
Yo. You know what I wish we had like one
of those like those like soundtracks where you can just
put ah.

Speaker 3 (55:44):
Yeah, I'm getting I'm a big hearted one here and yeah,
every everything it's about emotions and love, you know.

Speaker 1 (55:56):
And I'm the I'm the I'm the total opposite to
be honest, like you know, like.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
Hate relationship. I love to hate him.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
Yeah, you know what, I've come to realize, you need me? No,
I know, yes, you do. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (56:12):
You're the reason why people like me exist.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
Good, you know what I'm saying. So so therefore you
need me because you just said it. You're the reason
why people like me exist, and I'm the reason why
people like you exist.

Speaker 5 (56:26):
So I need you to.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
Oh my hemorrhoids bleed for you.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
Oh my god. So anyway, so sometimes rhyme slow, sometimes quick.
That's not what you were going to say. No, I
was gonna no, I was gonna say. Actually, I was
gonna say something that we're going to talk about after
I do this, after I reintroduce myself. I got a
topic for you that I think you'll find very.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
Oh a sponsor. It's so sponsored by sexy ass water, diet,
sexy ass water. I'm drinking that right now.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
You're drinking sexy water.

Speaker 3 (57:17):
I'm drinking about water.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
Oh wow, water, I'm drinking out of my medieval times.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
Meetable times. He bend the knee with his head. Anyway,
I king Joffrey.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
So I'm big cool.

Speaker 4 (57:44):
I am.

Speaker 2 (57:46):
Not gonna share my age. But I'm I'm a I
don't know. I I'm ah my father head owner. I'm
a pet I'm a pet owner. She's actually being quiet
right now. Usually she she's really quiet A last time. Yeah,
I know if she's if she starts barking now, I
want to be a little upset. But she's really quiet.

(58:07):
She's watching Lavernion Shirley.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
Actually, I'm a big cold I'm a pet owner.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
I see anyway, like I was saying, thank you. Oh no,

(58:35):
oh my god. Anyway, I am, I'm a I'm a dad,
I'm a grand hold on, yeah, I don't know what happened.
You popped up on the screen twice again too. I
don't know how that happened. But anyway, I'm I'm I'm

(58:59):
a dad, I'm a grand a soon to be a
granddad's seven. I I like I like football, I'm into podcasting.
As you can tell I. I'm a firm believer that
that that you're here for a reason, you have a

(59:25):
purpose m hm. And regardless of whatever that purpose is,
make the best of it, make make make make the
best of every day. That's what I try to do.
I'm yeah, I'm big, holy and and I'm in Jersey.

(59:46):
And if you want to know more, you can email.
You can email us at h O ship you're email addresses.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
When you say when you say that you're in Jersey,
you know what I'm saying, Like we got separate the
North from South. Right, We're from the better part of
Jersey where like they actually make the money, you know
what I mean, South Jersey. South Jersey is like you
know what I'm saying, They got the arm pit of Jersey. Done,
Alabama starting some ship.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
Oh you heard that? He said, you y'all Alabama.

Speaker 1 (01:00:25):
It's like the arm pit of Jerseys. You got Alabama.

Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
I don't have to say anything because clearly my confidence
triggers his insecurity that he's overcome.

Speaker 1 (01:00:39):
In North Jersey. Yo, In North Jersey, we go to
ancestry dot com. In South Jersey to go to ancestry com. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
Man, yeah, So anyway, like I wanted to, I wanted to, So,
do you know what DBT is?

Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
Yes, dialectical behavioral therapy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
Well damn, okay, So what what is it about dialectical
behavioral therapy that?

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
What? What? What?

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
What is it for?

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
Like? What? What? What? What?

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
What is the meaning of dialectical behavioral therapy?

Speaker 3 (01:01:29):
Okay? So it goes hand in hand with something else
called CBT, which is cognitive behavioral therapy. So you have
to start with knowing what the cognitive behavioral therapy is.
And basically, the cognitive behavioral therapy runs on the premise
or the idea that we are literally our worst enemies.

(01:01:51):
We we have negative thoughts about ourselves without proof, right,
So when people say things about us enough negative stuff,
we start to believe it, right. So what dialectical behavior
therapy is more the behaviors are, what are the dialectical
behaviors that we exhibit that cause negative outcomes for us?

(01:02:22):
And so what behaviors can we actually practice to help
to kind of combat that. So mindfulness, yes, it's like
actual putting things into practice. So with cognitive I could
give an example, Like with cognitive, I might say, because

(01:02:45):
I'm quiet, that means I'm antisocial. Right, So I'm negatively
putting a label on myself, calling myself anti social because
I don't talk talk a lot. Right, So when we
do the cognitive behavioral therapy, it's helping us to challenge

(01:03:06):
those thoughts. And one of those thoughts, or one of
those challenges would be, what's my proof? What's my proof
that I'm antisocial just because I don't talk a lot?
Or is there possibly some other reason why I don't
talk too much? Right? So it's about challenging and working

(01:03:26):
with our innermost thoughts, the thoughts we think about ourselves
and the things that we say to ourselves that keep
us stuck in the negative or the anxious state of mind.
So with the dialectical like you said, one of those
would be mindfulness. Another thing would be tapping. When people

(01:03:53):
who have high anxiety, a dialectical behavioral therapy would be
what is a practice you can do to help you
in that moment of anxiety. So there's this like five
four three two one thing. It's that you do with
your senses you you know, so when you're in the
middle of a panic attack or when you're in the
middle of that high high anxiety and you can't breathe

(01:04:16):
and you can't think straight, you know, you find five
things that you can see and you name them out loud, right,
and then four things that you can hear, three things
that you can feel, two things you can smell, you know,
one thing you can touch, you know, so like different

(01:04:37):
things like that. And so it's the actual behaviors, the
actual tools that you can use to physically help you
in in those moments or you know, stuff like that.
So the cognitive is the thoughts. How do we change
the story? How do we challenge the negative thoughts and

(01:04:59):
feelings that we have about ourselves and others? Uh, And
then dialectical is more behavior. How can we help ourselves
in these specific moments to bring ourselves back to where
we want to be hm.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
Hmm, very very interesting is in the building. So because
you the reason why I bring I'm bringing it up,
and I'm gonna bena be very honest and straightforward. They

(01:05:35):
they suggested to me that I take a class and
this is a six month course on dialectical behavioral therapy.
So I'm in I'm in the I'm in a class
that you know that's just a d b T, a

(01:05:56):
d B dB T class. So yeah, I have DBT group. Yeah,
I they got me in that and.

Speaker 3 (01:06:04):
And those are very I mean, they have been proven
to be very helpful.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
For some people. Yeah. And the reason the reason why,
like I'm I'm I'm bringing it up, is because I
wanted your take on this was one particular thing. So
all of it, all of it has to do with
changing your thought process, you know what I'm saying, Like

(01:06:28):
trying to figure out when you're in that moment and
you're you're feeling or thinking a certain way, but they
want you to stop and be mindful yep, and right
notice it stop notice exactly. But how does how does

(01:06:50):
that work? If you suffer from like an ADHD and
your mind's constantly running and your thoughts are constantly change,
And how do you stop yourself refocus and then become
mindful if your thoughts are constantly like at odds with

(01:07:11):
each other?

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
Real quick, fake it till you make it, lie to
yourself to it sounds true. No, no, no, no way, no,
hold on, hold on, hold on, you're not You know
what I'm saying. When I say fake it till you
make it means like go to the bathroom looking in
the marrand you know what I'm saying, whatever negative thought
you had, just you know what I'm saying to be like, yo,
you know what, You're better than this, and keep telling
yourself that. That's how you know what I'm saying. That's

(01:07:34):
how I used to start, you know what I mean?
Like like like yo, you know what I had to
I had to lie to myself to like to like
you know what I'm saying, Like, YO, you're all right,
You're all right, even though I wasn't okay, Like, YO,
you're all right, You're going to get through this. You
know what I'm saying. Whatever storm it is, you're going
to get through it. You know what I'm saying. When
have you not gone through it before? You know what
I'm saying like like like yo, like but hold on though,

(01:07:58):
like like Yo, he's see he's seen me. You know
what I'm saying, Like, oh my, you know what I'm saying,
Like you know what I'm saying, like on the edge,
you know what I'm saying on the edge, like yo,
you know what, like it ain't even worth living like
talking stuff like that. You know, but I have you
know what I'm saying. But I'm like, yo, you know what,
Like I was like, Yo, today is the day that

(01:08:18):
you know what I'm saying. I think you know what
I'm saying, Today's a good day to die, Like I
would tell him that straight up right. But then like
you know what I'm saying, I have to you know
what I'm saying, I have to like mentally talk myself
out of it because you know what, I don't know
what I'm saying, like I don't want to I don't
want to lose. I don't want to lose this game
of life to myself. You know what I'm saying. I

(01:08:40):
don't want to be the cause of me, of my demise,
you know, Like I wasn't put here, you know what
I'm saying to go out like that you know, like
that's what I'm saying, Like you know what, like that's
how that's how I used to start. You know what
I'm saying, Like I woke up the press, I'll look
at the mirror like you know what I'm saying, Like
I'll let it all out, be like, yo, you know
what you're worthless? Well? I was like, yo, you know what,

(01:09:00):
though it worth something? You know what I'm saying, Make
it count, Make it count, you know, like even if Yah,
I used to look in the bathroom crying like you
know what I'm saying, like I wanted to die, but
I used to tell myself, I'm like, yo, make it count, man,
if you want to get through it, man, you're going
to get through it, you know, like crying like you
know what I'm saying, Like to the point where I'm

(01:09:20):
looking at kitchen knobs and like, you know, like in
the ways to slip my vein because you don't slip
your vein across up and down? I know that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:28):
Why are you advertising that right now?

Speaker 1 (01:09:30):
But I'm just but I'm just saying though. I'm just
saying though, like you know what I'm saying, Like that's
what you know I mean, Like that's what my mom
was like going through you know what I'm saying, Like,
especially after my brother died, you know, like I was
going through all that, you know what I'm saying. Where
but yet you know what I'm saying, Like I had
to lie to myself, you know, like I had to

(01:09:52):
lie you know what I'm saying to myself till it
sounded true, until it started to feel true, and then
it became truth because your words of weapons and your words.
You know what I'm saying. Whatever, you know what I'm saying,
Whatever you speak out is what it is. You know
what I'm saying. So like if you keep telling yourself
you're worth this, and guess what, You're gonna feel worthless?
You know what I'm saying. If you know what I'm saying,

(01:10:14):
Like if you keep speaking, if you keep speaking, you
know what I'm saying, like like throwing positivity out there,
like like you may feel worthless, but you're not. You
know what I'm saying, But you're not worthless, you know,
Like it's a jump start. You know what I'm saying.
It's a you know what I'm saying, Like it's not
like you know what I'm saying, Like it's a big

(01:10:34):
step is stone, but it's a step is stone, it's
a baby stuff. That's how you start, man, Like that's
how I did. You know, like you gotta find something,
You gotta find something that's worth inside. You know what
I'm saying to where like you know something that's worth
you know what I'm saying, noting you know what I'm saying.
And yo, and and the thing is, you know what
I'm saying, Like to anybody that's depressed, you know what

(01:10:56):
I'm saying, Like, just know that you are worth it.
It's just that you know what I'm saying, You're not
seeing it right now because of what you know what
I'm saying, how you feeling whatever problems that you have.
But like you're bigger than your problems. You know what
I'm saying. Your life is worth more than your problems.
You know, And like it took me a long time
to realize that. You know, like I'm worth more than

(01:11:17):
what I'm going through. You know what I'm saying, Like
I will I will get over this. You know what
I'm saying. I will get over this little hump, or
I will climb this mountain. You know what I'm saying, like, yeah, well,
you always have to, like you know, think positive and
like even if you're feel a negative man, just like
speak positivity to yourself, have a conversation with yourself. Speak

(01:11:39):
it to yourself. You know what I'm saying, even though
you know what I'm saying. Oh, you know what I'm saying,
Like it feels like you're lying to yourself, But just
speak it anyways, because you know what, It'll start sounding
true and it will start feeling true.

Speaker 5 (01:11:53):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:11:53):
Everytimes I have to lie to myself. That's why I'm
saying it, you know. Do you know how many times?

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
You know?

Speaker 1 (01:11:59):
Do you know what I mean? Tis like you know
what I'm saying, Like like real shit, you know what
I'm saying. Then sometimes I try to kill myself and
I thought about doing it, and I had to like
speak positivity into my life, you know, Like there was Yo,
there was days where I you know what I'm saying,
Like why I wake up like, yo, today is a
good day to die? You know what I'm saying. I'll
say that with a smile on my face, right and

(01:12:22):
then like you know what I'm saying. All day I'm
thinking of ways, like you know, maybe I should go
get you know what I'm saying, maybe the third rail.
Yeah it's gonna burn, but I ain't gonna feel nothing.
Yeah I should get hit by a train, but I
want to close cask Like, yo, you know what, these
these were the things that was actually thinking, you know,
so like I had to like you know what I'm
saying at first off, you know what I'm saying, those

(01:12:44):
were the times that I prayed actually, and that's what
I'm saying, like you know, like that's why, like you know,
I know that God is real, you know, like those
are the times that I actually prayed, right, and then
I have to like speak you know what I'm saying,
speak positivity or whatever to my life, you know, because
like it was damn I feel like I'm living in

(01:13:08):
Yeah mhm. There was times yo, like you know where Yo,
there was times man like like very dark times And
the only reason why, like I'm sounding emotional right now
is because I'm happy I didn't do it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:30):
Yeah, I would look at you look at your situation now.

Speaker 1 (01:13:33):
Bro, exactly. You know what I'm saying, like, yo, you
know what you know what like like you know, like
how would my kids feel? You know what I'm saying like, like, yo,
there was times man, and you know what I mean.
I know we don't talk religion and all that stuff,
and I know how I come out, you know, and
just not you know what I'm saying, come out with

(01:13:53):
my bullshit or on here, you know, just to be
villainous or whatever. But Yo, through the grace of God,
still here, man, because like I ain't supposed to be here.
The many times there many times are overdose, you know,
on purpose, you know what I mean, Like all because

(01:14:14):
you know, like you know, like I didn't speak to
that all because I believed on what I felt, and
what I felt was false. You know what I'm saying,
Because I was worth a lot more, That's what I'm saying.
You know, like you fake it till you make it, man,

(01:14:34):
like even if you're not feeling it, you know what
i mean, Like, just speak positivity to yourself. You know,
look in the mirror. You know what I'm saying. Just
by you looking in the mirror, you know what I'm saying.
Just know that you're worth it. You know what I'm saying.
You're worth more than whatever the demons on your back.

Speaker 2 (01:14:54):
Hm, my bad mind sight, That's all right, doctor, I mean,
I don't know what I.

Speaker 3 (01:15:05):
Can say after that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:15:11):
Now I'm just saying you know, like like yo, everybody
has demons that you know what I'm saying, We all battle,
you know what I mean, Like demons come in different
different forms. You know what I'm saying, Like like my
demon is a bottle and a pill. You know, Like
those are my demons, you know, Like I know who

(01:15:33):
they are, I know what they do. That's why. That's
why I like, you know what I'm saying, Like I
stay away from the bottle. I can't stay away from
the pill because I get prescribed them. Now you know
the irony I used to make them many.

Speaker 3 (01:15:48):
Better to take. No, it's not especially you know that
there's something that can be a problem.

Speaker 1 (01:15:55):
True, that's the reason why. You know what I'm saying.
I'm smart enough to have my you know what I'm saying,
My lady hold them, you know what I mean, Like
like I'm like your hair, take it. That's it, you
know what I'm saying, Like you know what it's gonna like,
you know what, Like I'm feeling a lot of pain tonight.
I know it's gonna rain tomorrow. I feel it. I
feel it now, you know. But I'm gonna try to,

(01:16:19):
like you know what I'm saying, be strong tomorrow and
avoid it. Try just to keep word because you know what,
it's gonna be heavy tomorrow and on the light and note,
yeah we was in a drought. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:16:34):
Who we haven't had rain in like two and a
half months.

Speaker 1 (01:16:37):
Bro, Yes, it's up. Yes, it's September right like the
end of September around there, right, No.

Speaker 2 (01:16:43):
I think mid September. You can't even watch what are anymore?
Like they got the restricted.

Speaker 1 (01:16:50):
Yeah not after tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:16:53):
Well it's supposed to rain tonight, tomorrow and Friday.

Speaker 1 (01:16:58):
What what?

Speaker 5 (01:17:00):
And we'll see.

Speaker 1 (01:17:01):
Yeah, I heard north there it is supposed to get snow.

Speaker 2 (01:17:05):
I heard the same thing. But I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:17:07):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:17:07):
I didn't see it on the forecast.

Speaker 1 (01:17:11):
You know. And and yo, you know what, and you know,
to lighten up the the mood or whatever, right, you know.
Back then I used to be like, yo, you know what,
I can't. Yo. First off, you know what you said
something earlier about snow, and I remember it's snowing like
mid November, Like you know what I'm saying, Like we'll
get snow flurries mid November like around this time, remember

(01:17:36):
like back in the day.

Speaker 2 (01:17:37):
Like remember the ninety six Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:17:40):
Man, the storming, like yo went went and went to
the store in ninety three and ninety six. Yeah, yoh
that blizzard was crazy, man.

Speaker 2 (01:17:47):
Yeah, I goton in ninety three.

Speaker 1 (01:17:51):
Ninety three.

Speaker 2 (01:17:51):
What was I Oh man, you well hold up, hold up,
but hold on, wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait
a minute.

Speaker 1 (01:17:57):
Oh my bad.

Speaker 2 (01:17:57):
We were we were no good, You're good.

Speaker 1 (01:18:01):
I just I just want to I was just trying to,
like you know what I'm saying, like like like my
bathom being itself, that's trying to get my mother, Like
you know what I'm saying, get get out of that
dark spot. I just threw myself in. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:18:12):
And that's the key word. So this is a great
example of what you were talking about, Cornon Dubbs. You
took yourself there.

Speaker 2 (01:18:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:18:23):
Yeah. So and and that's so that's kind of an
example about what I was going to say to you, Corleon,
is when you have your mind that continuously is running, running, running,
The first thing is do you notice when you're doing
it right, Like, at some point do you notice that
your mind is running?

Speaker 1 (01:18:45):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:18:48):
The only the only thing that the only the only
thing that what happens is that I see myself jumping
from thoughts of thought. But you see it, I catch it.
I don't I catch it.

Speaker 3 (01:19:07):
It takes me a while, right, but you eventually catch it. Well,
that's what I'm talking about. That's noticing. So when you
catch it, when you say to yourself, oh, hold on,
I'm doing too much, right, that is the first that's
the first moment you notice that it's happening. Then you
have to switch gears. Okay, so what can I do

(01:19:31):
right now to take my mind out of this automatic? Right?
So whatever it was that you were doing when you
caught your mind running, So what would you usually be
doing when you catch your mind running?

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
That's the ship. Sometimes it jumps around so much that
I know.

Speaker 3 (01:19:54):
But are you sitting watching Team Oh no, I could
be on the laptop.

Speaker 2 (01:19:59):
I could be watching tea like whatever it is. I
could be doing anything, everything and anything I could possibly
be doing. Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:20:05):
So one of the things about being mindful is when
you catch yourself in those moments, whatever you're doing in
that moment, change it, get up and go do something else.
Because what it is, especially with add and ADHD, is
it's the amount of time that you can spend on attention.

(01:20:27):
So your attention span might only be five minutes long,
ten minutes long, fifteen Some people get to a half hour, right,
So that helps you or even start keeping a journal.
Every time you catch yourself doing it, you write down
when you caught yourself what you were doing. Right, then

(01:20:50):
the next time you catch yourself again, why and how
did I catch myself? What time is it and what
was I doing? Because sometimes when we do that, when
we write things down, we start to see patterns, and
then that helps us to break the patterns because sometimes
we see okay, so when I sit and watch TV. Right,

(01:21:14):
when I watch TV, maybe my mind runs right and
I start having negative thoughts. So if I write that
down enough, then I know I can only sit and
watch TV for maybe a half hour, and then I
set an alarm for that half hour, and then that
tells me, okay, I need to get up and do
something else to help prevent It's like when you take

(01:21:37):
talinol after a surgery or something, they tell you take
the medication before you start to feel the pain. That way,
it prevents the pain from arriving. Does that make sense? Yeah,
so it's all about catching. Once you catch it, okay,

(01:21:58):
my next step is I need to be mindful about it.
Is there something going on right now that's causing my
mind to be jumping around like that? Is there something
I need to do? So that's the mindful part, is
actually thinking about it, being in the moment or even
trying one of those DBT exercises. So when you catch

(01:22:19):
your mind, you know, and these are all different types
of things you can do, different types of like help
you can give to yourself when you catch yourself say okay,
then I need to do a two minute breathing exercise
and then go back to what you were doing. It
could be something like, okay, so I'm at work. When

(01:22:46):
I'm at work, I know that I need to send
like I can't sit for a very long time, so
like once an hour, I'll take ten minutes, I'll walk
around the floor of my job up and then I'll
come back.

Speaker 1 (01:23:03):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:23:03):
So sometimes it's about setting alarms, right, and that's and
that's being mindful. Okay, I mean, was that helpful at all?

Speaker 1 (01:23:13):
Or was that? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:23:15):
I completely I completely understand. Yeah, I got this, I
got this booklet. That shit's like this with ha ha.

Speaker 3 (01:23:22):
Well sometimes that's overwhelming. Sometimes that is overwhelming, So.

Speaker 2 (01:23:28):
They give me a binder, like with all this information
in that well.

Speaker 3 (01:23:32):
Because it's all good. It's all good information once you
get through and check things out. And sometimes it's also
about breaking things down. Sometimes our mind race is because
what we're dealing with right now is too much, right
you know. So I know one thing with me is

(01:23:52):
you know, keeping up because of my ADHD, keeping up
on like the house. So sometimes we get so overwhelmed
with what's in front of us that it causes our
mind to procrastinate and just not do anything about it.
So what you do is you break it down into
a smaller, bite sized piece. So say I have a

(01:24:15):
room like your living room. Right If I look at
your living room and I say, okay, I'm going to
clean this whole living room. But then all of a sudden,
I start to feel like I can't do this, you
know that self talk. I can't do this, this is
too much, this is crazy. Then I say, okay, let's
cut that in half. Let's cut it down to only

(01:24:37):
half of the living room. I'm gonna get half the
living room done today and I'll be good sometimes that
might still be too much, and then you have to
break it down some more, a fourth of the living room.
You keep breaking it down until it's palatable for you,
until it's at a place where you're like, I could

(01:24:58):
do this, and you actually complete it. The thing is
when you start small, eventually it becomes bigger. So right
now I might only be able to do one fourth
of your living room and feel good, right, but I
also have to tell myself cognitively, even though it's not

(01:25:20):
what I had originally planned, it was still better than
not doing anything right. Right, So also rewarding yourself for
the little games.

Speaker 1 (01:25:31):
It's nice, scream.

Speaker 3 (01:25:34):
It's not about always getting everything on the list done,
but maybe getting one or two things on that list done,
because after a while that starts to add up, and
then the whole list is done.

Speaker 1 (01:25:48):
You know, yeah, hey, okay, you know how randomly I'll
call you up my bad you know, like yoga, you
know what I'm saying, you're doing good and worried about
it and'll just be random mm and so to let
you know that, yo, you know what you straight you
know what I'm saying, Like you know what I'm saying,
like like you know what lady. Like sometimes I call

(01:26:08):
Caldly on up like out of the blue, I'm like, Yo,
what up? What you're doing? Blah blah blah. All right, Yo,
you're doing good. Fam, don't work. You know what I'm saying.
Whatever stresses out here, don't you know what I'm saying.
Don't look too deep into it. You know what I'm saying.
You're doing good? You got this that in the third
and know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:26:21):
You good.

Speaker 1 (01:26:22):
You know what I'm saying. Even though we all want
more that comes in time. Be patient. You know what
I'm saying. Everything has the time for it, you know.
And this would be random phone calls. You know what
I'm saying. Like it's not because he told me anything
about anything. You know what I'm saying. This should be random, right,
like a random phone call. You know what I'm saying
to you know what I'm saying, to lift my boy up.

(01:26:44):
You know what I'm saying, even though you know what
I'm saying, like like you know what I mean, Like
it wasn't even asked, you know what I mean? Because
like I believe that, because I believe that, you know,
like like you know, like like you know what I'm saying, like,
like I like to be honest with you know, how
I am on here is not how I am on here,
you know what I mean. It's like, you know, like

(01:27:05):
my name isn't my name? You know, like offline, to
be honest, I'm a little different, you know, on here,
I just come over here, you know what I'm saying,
just to be a villain, because I know I could
be a jerk, you know, I know I can you
know what I'm saying. I know how to ruffle feathers,
you know, but offline, offline is totally different.

Speaker 2 (01:27:28):
Right, It's true. You see that energy? H Did you
see that?

Speaker 1 (01:27:37):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:27:37):
I didn't know on the screen?

Speaker 6 (01:27:43):
Do do do?

Speaker 3 (01:27:46):
I am old?

Speaker 1 (01:27:50):
All right? All right here, let me read your bedtime story.
Once upon a time, there was a person they've been
like she said, Oh my god, lady g I do
that all the time with myself, who has adhd Okay, today,
we're going to clean the kitchen first. We're going to
clean out the fridge and take a break and move
to the distance, et cetera. And it helps him understands

(01:28:14):
we have a test. And or he understands we have
a test, we will break it down to the steps. Yeah,
like you know what I'm saying, what's that word carp car, car,
carp what's that word carpentized whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:28:29):
Car whatever?

Speaker 1 (01:28:33):
You know what I mean, that's the word that compartmentalize
my bad compartmentalize it. Yeah, like like yo, you know
what like that like you know what, Like that does
help a lot too, you know, like it really does,
like like with me, like I have backgrounds, so you know,
like to do the dish. You know what I'm saying,

(01:28:53):
I can't do the dis is straight, you know, like
I'll look at what I have to attack first. I'm like,
all right, yo, you know what I'm I'm a do
the small dishes first. You know what I'm saying, Sit down,
relax real quick, fifteen minutes or whatever to go knock
out the front pans and whatever pants is left and
all that stuff. Sit down, relax, then go you know,

(01:29:13):
like I have to compartment Yeah yeah, yeah, you know
what I have to do with an episode? How about that?
You know what I'm saying, Like you know, like like
that's what I have to do. And yo, you know what,
and even though like it takes longer, like you know
what I'm saying it actually works, you know, so mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:29:36):
Yeah, because when things get overwhelming, that's when you shut down.
And so you have to make it small enough that
whatever the task is, whatever, whatever it is, you got
to make it small enough that you feel capable of
doing it and over time it'll grow.

Speaker 1 (01:29:59):
Yeah, what you know, like then you know what I'm saying,
Like like you know what, Like it's like a boxing match,
you know what I'm saying, Like put it in the
rounds if you will. You know what I'm saying. There's
three there's a three round, three minutes every round. You
know what I mean, Like do something for three minutes, stop,

(01:30:19):
take a breathing, you know what I'm saying. Then keep going.
You know what I'm saying. Twelve round fight or you
could be like burning back and say three minutes. That's
so I'm giving you all the fuck's I got. I mean, yeah,
you know what I mean. But do you guys want
to hear something funny? Lighten up the mood real quick?

(01:30:42):
All right? So my daughter she's in a Google guy
that phase, right, So I put her in a playpen
or whatever because she was crying. You know what I'm saying.
From from learning from trying to learn her to walk.
I put her in a playpen, right, I go get
her milk bottle. I lay her down in the playpant.
She gets up and she starts, no, no, no no.

(01:31:03):
I'm like, okay, you know, like pouring them, you know
what I'm saying, washing out the bottle. And she's looking
at me that that that that you know what I'm
saying like and I'm here thinking that, oh, she's a
Google guy guy. I'm like yeah, mom, yeah, mama. And
then all of a sudden, she raises her voice like
the right, and I'm like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa.

(01:31:24):
And then like you know, like she's holding onto the
playpen right from the inside. And then like she slams
her hand on the playpen like you know, getting all
loud yelling at me. But this Google guy got ship
and she was like I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm like, yo, who you talking to? Like you know,
the milk came out and you know, microwave or whatever.
She's like never right, So like I give it a bottle, right,

(01:31:48):
and she's looking at me her she's like she lays down,
She's like and then she starts drinking a bottle. No
more than like five minutes later, she's knocked out. I'm like, yo,
and I sat down, like, you know what I'm saying.
Looking at it, I'm like, did you just curssed me
on a baby language? Yeah? Like what I do to you?
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (01:32:03):
Why is it?

Speaker 1 (01:32:04):
Fuck me? You know what I'm saying. Like, I was like,
what the fuck fuck me?

Speaker 3 (01:32:07):
What do I do to you?

Speaker 1 (01:32:09):
You know? Like, but it was just cute, you know
what I'm saying, because like even though you know, like
my daughter was like yelling at me and stuff, like
the way she did it was like a politician, you
know what I'm saying, stand at the podium, slamming her hand,
talking about we're gonna win the election, one of those
you know, That's what she looked like, you know, like
and then a couple of days ago, yeah, for real.

(01:32:31):
And then and then a couple of days ago, go
change a diaper. Right, So, as I'm changing a diaper,
I hear the art and bubbly sound and I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no,
you know what I'm saying. So I pick her up
because like, you know, I don't want you know what
I'm saying, like, you know whatever, and then I feel

(01:32:53):
chocolate and all my fingertips. I'm like no, I'm like no,
So you know I have to throw the whole baby
away and start all over, right, you know what I'm saying.
Ran to the top she went, and I was like, nah, man,
and she's there laughing or whatever. I'm like, yeah, you're disrespectful.
You know that. I'm like, damn you Like, yeah, you

(01:33:16):
disrespectful as hell, man. But like you know, like which
the only reason, you know what I'm saying, The fact
that I could talk about what my daughter's doing now
makes me so much more appreciative of why I didn't
do myself in you know, it's stuff like this, see,

(01:33:37):
so everything intertwines with each other, you know, like you
know what I'm saying, Like like I said, you know,
like you have to fake it till you make it
bro like like you know, like there's so much you
know what I'm saying, Like like you know what, even
even a murderer that's sitting in jail right now, there's
something positive about that person. He just made a mistake,

(01:34:00):
you know what I mean, Like you know this positive
you know what I'm saying. That's positive of anybody, you
know what I'm saying, even Magic Johnson anyway, now, but
all jo socide though, like like you know what I'm saying,

(01:34:21):
Like this positivity in everybody man, and like the hardest thing.
You're the hardest, yo, Yo. You know what makes things
so hard?

Speaker 2 (01:34:32):
Yo?

Speaker 1 (01:34:32):
Like I said, you know what I'm saying, it would
be a superficial ship, you know what I'm saying, because
us humans, like you know what I'm saying, Like the
majority of us are in vain is hell and we
don't appreciate the small things, you know what I mean,
Like we don't like yo, you know what we do
not you know what I'm saying, appreciate nothing. We always
want more because that's human nature. Yeah, you know, like

(01:34:56):
like like and yo, you know what and my and
my opinion, you know what I'm saying, my humble opinion,
that's probably that's one of the factors that makes people
so depressed, you know what I'm saying, because they want
more and they can't. They don't know how to attain that,
you know, instead of being happy with what they have,
you know, like you look at your peers like oh wow,

(01:35:17):
this dude got a house in a pool, and here
I am a broke vampire living Inception eight. You know
what I'm saying, Like, you know, like like no, but
I'm serious though, Like we're looking at you know what
I'm saying, We're looking at the next person stuff. Oh
they got a family, you know what I'm saying. And
social media. Social media does not help in the situation,

(01:35:38):
you know when you know what I'm saying. When the
fact that you know what I'm saying, Like, like I said,
you know what, like a lot of people are so
vaint like you know what I'm saying. They found these
people whenever was like, oh you living a lifestyle? Do
you know what I'm saying, Like the you know, half
the stuff that they be posed with is rented. They don't.
You know what I'm saying, a lot of people not
catching up, you know what I'm saying, catching up on
that you know, like and we start you know what

(01:36:00):
I'm saying, like like like most s are like you
know what I'm saying, wishing they could be somebody else
instead of like trying to be more themselves, right, you know,
so I mean, you know you know what to you
know what I'm saying, to love yourself, you have to
know yourself. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, and

(01:36:24):
to know yourself, you know what I'm saying, Like you
have to go and you know what I'm saying, like
like you can't just like love the good things about
your not love the dark things about you. You know
what I'm saying, You have to unconditionally love yourself. You
know even you know what I'm saying. Like me, I
accept that I have a dark sense of human you
know what I'm saying. I accept that. You know it's

(01:36:46):
my humor. You know what I'm saying. My humor is
not for everybody, and sometimes you know what I'm saying, Like,
my humor gets me in a lot of trouble, right,
but oh does it?

Speaker 2 (01:36:58):
Does it?

Speaker 3 (01:36:58):
Really?

Speaker 1 (01:36:59):
I'm used to get the trouble anyway, so it don't
matter however, you know what I'm saying, Like, I accept
that of you know what I'm saying. But the reason
why I have a dark sense of humors because you
know what, you know what I'm saying, a lot of
close people, you know what I'm saying, I've seen some
people get you know, unlived. So that's you know what

(01:37:22):
I'm saying, like my dark sense of human was my
coping mechanism and how to cope with my PTSD. And
I understand that now, you know what I mean, Like
I understand that part now, you know, like I was
always trying to figure out, like you know, like like
why do I find it so funny? I find you

(01:37:43):
know what I'm saying, I understand it now, Like you
have to understand yourself and love yourself. Love that part.
You know what I'm saying. You can't hate that or
I hate this about myself. You can't do that. That's
part of you, whether you like it or not. What
you could try to do is all right now you
understand it, try to change it, you know, because like
if you're just gonna let it linger there, then what

(01:38:04):
I'm saying, you always gonna be like I hate that
part about myself, right, I love myself? Do I love
myself fully?

Speaker 2 (01:38:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:38:13):
Why not?

Speaker 2 (01:38:14):
You know what I'm saying, It makes it makes a
lot of sense. I mean, to be able to function
within yourself, you got you gotta.

Speaker 1 (01:38:22):
Love every part, every every part of it, you know
what I'm saying, every flaw. You gotta love yourself like
every flaw of it too, not just the good things
about you, because about it. Just think about it real quick?

Speaker 2 (01:38:36):
My bad?

Speaker 1 (01:38:37):
How you know what I'm saying. How can you be
in a relationship and be like you know what I'm saying,
I love I love my man or love my girl
conditionally When you don't unconditionally you love yourself?

Speaker 2 (01:38:48):
It's a lot do you do? You do you unconditionally
love yourself?

Speaker 1 (01:38:53):
I'm working on it, to be honest, to be real
about it. I'm understanding myself. I'm understanding more. So I'm
working on more, you know what I'm saying, embracing it
and trying to change. You know what I'm saying. I
can't change my past, but I could change how I
react to certain things.

Speaker 2 (01:39:09):
Now what's this same?

Speaker 1 (01:39:19):
Well?

Speaker 2 (01:39:19):
Thank you? I appreciate that. Thank you? So all right?
So with that, with that, with that being said, we're
gonna go around the room real quick with with with
a question.

Speaker 1 (01:39:35):
Oh wait, and one more thing, one more thing. No,
I don't really love myself because I'm still a JEFT fan.
You know what I'm saying. If I loved myself, you
know what I'm saying, I will stop being a JEFT fan.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:39:45):
Why are you so me?

Speaker 1 (01:39:47):
No, I'm serious. I'm serious, man, because like, yo, you
know what, it doesn't matter, bro, Yo, you know what
I'm I'm I'm done being a Jets fan. You know
what I'm saying, like, Yo, hold on, hold on, hold on.
You know what I'm saying to men? You know what
I'm saying, Like I've been Yo, you know what I've
been a JEFT fan for like forty years. You know

(01:40:09):
what I'm saying, forty years of this ship. You know
what I'm saying, Like if I you know what I'm saying,
like forty years of this ship. You know what I'm saying.
Like I'm like, Yo, you know what I'm trying to,
Like you know you know what I'm saying, like, oh
thank you, Like I'm trying to like you know what
I'm saying, like like you know what I'm saying, like
just switch up. You know what I'm saying, because like,
like the mood feels somber, you know what I mean.

(01:40:32):
And I was like I was like just trying to
switch up a little bit, you know what I mean,
like lighting it up, you know, like all right, and
the only reason my bad I'm sorry, only trying to.

Speaker 3 (01:40:44):
Know you're not. If you were sorry, you'd stop doing it.

Speaker 1 (01:40:47):
Yo, I have a lot to say, Like I feel
like I have a lot to say.

Speaker 3 (01:40:51):
Yo, Well you need to find a somebody to say
it too.

Speaker 1 (01:40:58):
Oh that's why we're doing it, m Yeah, because you don't.

Speaker 3 (01:41:01):
Let nobody else do what needs to be done on
the show when you can't get this stuff out to
other people beforehand.

Speaker 1 (01:41:12):
My bad, sorry about that then.

Speaker 2 (01:41:18):
No, all right, So with that being said, and don't say,
don't say all right? So what I want to do
is really quick. I want to go around the room.
I want you to give the viewers, really quick, one

(01:41:40):
movie they should have watched this week and one track
they should listen to this week, just to give people,
you know, something to do. What's this say? Right?

Speaker 1 (01:41:54):
Man? I love Miss Rachel. I love Miss Rachel. Yo's
so funny.

Speaker 2 (01:42:10):
I love this so so so dumb. Give me a
movie and the track you want you want to.

Speaker 1 (01:42:15):
Yea, I haven't, Yo, you know what I'm not. I'm
not even up on like you know what I'm saying.
Whatever movies came out.

Speaker 2 (01:42:21):
Just why to give me one track that you want?
You want everybody to listen to this week.

Speaker 1 (01:42:27):
I mean I've been rocking that. Wow, I've been old
schooling it bro like to be honest, like all right,
trip called Quest.

Speaker 2 (01:42:35):
Mind Power trip called Quest Mind Power.

Speaker 1 (01:42:39):
Yeah, like like you know what, Like it's been you
know what I'm saying like that, that's that's been on
my my playlist.

Speaker 2 (01:42:46):
All right, that's what's up. That's what's up Mind Power
Trip Cord Quest.

Speaker 3 (01:42:52):
Mm hmmm. All right. Well the movie only because I
just watched it, dead Pool and Wolverine.

Speaker 1 (01:43:00):
Movie. That movie was, that movie was.

Speaker 2 (01:43:05):
And the song the track They're Coming to Get You.

Speaker 1 (01:43:10):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:43:13):
What's what.

Speaker 3 (01:43:15):
I would say. It's a song called Weary Traveler Wow,
Jordan's Saints Sir see y R.

Speaker 2 (01:43:28):
Jordan's Saints Sir the Weary Traveler Traveler exact, Wolverine.

Speaker 3 (01:43:36):
YEP, Deadpool and Wooverine.

Speaker 1 (01:43:39):
I call that s that Sir s T.

Speaker 3 (01:43:44):
Space c y R.

Speaker 2 (01:43:47):
All right, yeah, all right, So my ship is this.
I know, it's how they seasoned and stuff. And I
want everybody to and and it might it might sound
a little a little a little a little crazy, but.

Speaker 5 (01:44:08):
I went to go see.

Speaker 2 (01:44:10):
No, I don't want to help no, go I want
you to try and see Red One.

Speaker 5 (01:44:23):
It was.

Speaker 2 (01:44:25):
The Yeah, yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 (01:44:29):
It was.

Speaker 2 (01:44:29):
It wasn't bad. It just wasn't great. But it has
it has it has, it has its moments.

Speaker 5 (01:44:41):
It was it was.

Speaker 2 (01:44:41):
I thought it was all right. You know, I am
with the movies. I go to the movie theater all
the time. So I give it out of ten, I
give it about a six five six. But it's good.
It's good for the kids and it gives them, you know,
something to watch and everything. And it's a it's a

(01:45:03):
holiday film. And as far as the track is concerned,
I want everybody to go listen to to Be with
You by Joe Cuba.

Speaker 1 (01:45:16):
That makes.

Speaker 2 (01:45:18):
This track is the nineteen sixty something. Joe Cuba is
one of the first mambo crossover singers from pr that
that made it in the US.

Speaker 1 (01:45:36):
So he.

Speaker 2 (01:45:40):
Started that ship. So it's it's go she read one
and then Joe Cuba to be with You. That's the track.
And with all that being said, your final thought, dubs,
do you have one?

Speaker 1 (01:46:01):
My final thought? Mm hmm. You know what, I'm gonna
switch it the movie. I'm gonna add a movie right,
a Christmas story that's a classic man yeah, you know,
like because like it's so nostalgic in a way, but

(01:46:23):
it is all right. My final thought, sometimes you do
have to lie to yourself till it sounds true to
get you know what I'm saying to get you know,
but wait, wait, no, speak positivity to yourself even though
it sounds like a lie. But keep speaking until it

(01:46:43):
sounds true, because then they will feel true. Because like
words have a lot of effect, you know what I'm saying,
your words, Use them carefully, especially when it comes to yourself,
you know, like always, you know, always walk with your
head on high even though you can't do it, but
do it.

Speaker 2 (01:47:03):
Keep And.

Speaker 1 (01:47:06):
I like to apologize for like you know, like you
know what I'm saying, Like today I'm a little you
know what I'm saying, Like I'm a little emotional, and
you know, like.

Speaker 2 (01:47:17):
Don't don't don't apologize for being the you know.

Speaker 1 (01:47:20):
What I'm saying, because like, yeah, what are you apologizing for?
Because like that's why, like you know what I'm saying,
Like I just like you know what I'm saying, like
just coming out and the saying things because like Chris
is like my brother's favorite holiday and since passed away,
like I hated it phenomen a transition where like I'm
being forced to love it again, and I probably will

(01:47:43):
because you know, I have a little one now and
like the only thing that hurts is that, you know,
like I whis my brother was hit me, my niece,
my daughter. I mean, and that's all I kept on
thinking about all day today.

Speaker 3 (01:47:57):
M And that's okay though, But when you got to
step on somebody.

Speaker 1 (01:48:03):
To say it my bad, that's like like, like you
know what, I just you know what I'm saying. I
wasn't trying to like you know, like I was fighting,
like like all through off the show is flying my
emotion man, because like, but that's what.

Speaker 3 (01:48:20):
We're here for.

Speaker 1 (01:48:20):
I just want to I just want to, absolutely I
can't you know what I'm saying, Like like like yo,
you know what it's like, I just you know what
I'm saying, Like I just wish my brother was hitting you.
What I'm saying my brother was my brother would loved
the hell out my daughter, and like you know, like
my daughter is not going to know how much of
an awesome uncle she had.

Speaker 3 (01:48:42):
Not true. You said that you are getting closer with
your faith and you're trying to do this well, right,
don't ever doubt that. Number one, He is with her
all the time. He is there in your apartment right now,
and as long as you keep him alive for her,

(01:49:03):
she will know him. My daughters have never met my mother,
and that's their grandmother, but they know everything there is
to know about her. They know what she looks like,
they know what she would say, because we are the
ones that have to keep them alive for the people

(01:49:26):
who didn't know them. Yeah, my daughter will remind me
on their birthdays, on the days they die, she'll remind me, Mommy,
did you light the candle? Mommy, did you put the cupcake? Mommy,
did you do this? Did you do that? Like we're
the ones that can keep them alive.

Speaker 1 (01:49:49):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean, you know what, like
my daughter, like my brother's name, you know what I'm
saying was Carr, So like my daughter has her middle
you know what I'm saying, his name as a middle name.

Speaker 3 (01:50:03):
M hmm, Well, reminder of that.

Speaker 1 (01:50:05):
Let her know that, oh, absolutely all the time, you know,
like it was you know, like it's like it's like
you know what I'm saying, Like like like before twenty eighteen,
you know what I'm saying, Like holidays, I used to
be like, I'm just you know, like I'm gonna go
pick up my brother, bring him to my house, you
know what I'm saying. And it's like after twenty eighteen,
it was like and whatever with these holidays, man, I

(01:50:28):
just wanted to be over with, you know, because like
it was his favorite holiday.

Speaker 2 (01:50:33):
Now what you gotta do is you gotta look at it,
like you said, yeah, now that the baby's head, you
gotta you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:50:40):
Well, it was a holiday so celebrated the way.

Speaker 2 (01:50:43):
He would celebrate, right, absolutely, exactly exactly, that's exactly what
I don't know exactly what she said. It was his
favorite holiday, celebrated the way he would like to have
it celebrated. And and that's that. That's that's a great
way to keep his memory alive. I mean, celebrate it

(01:51:04):
the way he he loved it. Man, Like, that's that's
a great.

Speaker 3 (01:51:12):
Yeah. Like I I have so much more than we
had growing up, right, But that little crystal nativity set,
I still put that out on the holiday, and I
allow my daughter to do the honor of that because
I keep that as as her thing to bring my

(01:51:35):
mother into it. You know, because especially Christmas, that was man,
that woman. I even go out, I even go out
and buy the old fashioned candy, like the ribbon candy. Yeah,
the peanut butter filled a hard candy.

Speaker 2 (01:51:57):
Peanut butter fills ship.

Speaker 3 (01:51:58):
No, but it was hard. It wasn't it's not like
the soft peanut butter. But it's like old fashioned candy
that's hard to find. But during the Christmas time, I
will find it and I put it out for my daughter.

Speaker 1 (01:52:15):
The question. Yeah, the hard cookies that come in on
that that metal the metal round thing, yo.

Speaker 3 (01:52:25):
Yeah, the butter cookies, the butter cookies.

Speaker 1 (01:52:29):
Yeah, yeah, they come like all favor and all that stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:52:33):
Yeah. And my mom started this thing when we were young.
We didn't really have the resources to make like cookies
for Santa whatever. My mom would go buy a package
of peanut eminems and put them in a bowl and
leave them for Santa and the reindeer. Now it was

(01:52:55):
the silliest thing, but I still do that. We put
out a thing of peanut eminem's and there's always a
handful taken out in the morning time.

Speaker 2 (01:53:06):
I'll tell you what, though, you can't give rein the
your peanut emmins the choke.

Speaker 1 (01:53:11):
You know what. Hush you now, they don't have diarrheas.
But you know, yo, you know what as a kid,
you know what I'm saying, like like a memory came in.
As a kid, I remember asking my mom, right, you know,
because like you know, like my mom and my dad
used to tell us that sign used to come down
to chimney or whatever. I was like, wait a minute,

(01:53:33):
we ain't got no chimney. How does he come in?
You know? Like like like I remember asking my mom
that because you know, I would make.

Speaker 3 (01:53:42):
One you know that paper that looks like she would
do that and then she would cut out black construction
paper and then like like and she would actually make
fake a fake one on the wall.

Speaker 2 (01:54:00):
Good. Yeah, and you can tell a kid, you could
tell a kid listen, this is where we have to
put this here. Yeah, exactly exactly. So there you go,
Dougs that that's that's your job.

Speaker 1 (01:54:14):
Bro.

Speaker 2 (01:54:15):
Live Christmas the way your brother always loved it. Bro,
that's a great way to to to keep his memory alive. Man,
No more that being depressed and being down and being
you know now you know because Doc Thought suggested that's
a prescription, go ahead, and very prescription to go ahead

(01:54:41):
and love the holiday again, because that's what your brother loved.
He loved it, and that's what you gotta.

Speaker 3 (01:54:46):
Do, is believe it or not. When we stay in
that place, that's what we're teaching our kids, that they
don't need to love the holiday just because something bad
happened to you.

Speaker 1 (01:55:01):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:55:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:55:02):
Sometimes sometimes our kids and they don't realize it, they
will save us from some of the darkest places.

Speaker 1 (01:55:11):
No, I don't, yo, you know what absolutely you know
what I'm saying, like absolutely, Like it's a story. But
but you know what I'm saying, I'll say it next.

Speaker 2 (01:55:20):
Week, you know, Like, so, so loo, what's your final
thought of the evening?

Speaker 5 (01:55:29):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (01:55:29):
My final thought of the evening is when you feel sad,
go find a Yoda, a baby Yoda.

Speaker 1 (01:55:34):
Meme.

Speaker 7 (01:55:36):
Shut up, bro, that's funny. That's fucking hilarious. Actually, yeah,
you know, like.

Speaker 1 (01:55:51):
Like one more thing, man, So I don't know how
to do my daughter's hair right because it's curly, right,
So yo, yo, you know, but first off, you know
what I'm saying, I'll be trying to like, you know,
have it like that I do. I watch YouTube videos.
So I was like, yo, bet you know what I'm saying.
Video so so I was like, bet, so you know

(01:56:11):
what I'm saying. I'm here combing her hair and the
line be straight, but like you know, she'd be moving
so much and whatever. Like, so I was trying to
do like, you know, like put like little ponytails on
top of whatever. Right, one pony tail was like ninety
degrees off from the other one. I was like, guy,
so you know what I'm saying. I took out the
rubber bands whatever. I was like, yeah, you're just going
out looking all curly and whatever. Right, you know what

(01:56:31):
she looks like when her hair is all curly. You
ever seen Carlito's way Sean Sean Penn's character Client fel Right,
So I sit it down whatever in a stroller. She's
looking at me. I'm like, I'm like, yo, you know
what you're like? You know, I'm here just talking shit
to my daughter, like ad that, like, you look like
Client from carl Ethle's but you look like a Jewish
defense lawyer, you know, because her hair is like, oh

(01:56:55):
curly and ship right. Yeah, Like that's.

Speaker 2 (01:56:58):
Crazy, yo, house, I looking like a defense lawyer Jewish
wanted to know less that's crazy. So anyway, so anyway,
all right, so so so my final thought of the
evening is this, despite what you go through, always remember

(01:57:19):
if you fail, fail forward, which means take what you
learn from that failure, apply it, try again, don't stop.
Always continue moving forward. I'm big. Hold on, that's Lady G,

(01:57:39):
that's Doubs down. This is this Man Heard podcast, and
we'll be here next week for our pre Thanksgiving Shenanigan episode.
I don't know, but we'll figure it out. With that
being said, always keep in mind that at some point

(01:58:00):
this my my my heart. Good night, everybody, thanks for
coming by. He's he's

Speaker 1 (01:58:08):
Later

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

24/7 News: The Latest

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Wild N' Out Wednesday (Recorded LIVE On 11-20-24)

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

24/7 News: The Latest

Dateline NBC

All Episodes

Wild N' Out Wednesday (Recorded LIVE On 11-20-24)

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark