September 3, 2025 • 28 mins
Delve into the eerie and enchanting world of Charles Dickens, a master storyteller with a fascination for the supernatural. In this collection, we present three of his captivating ghost stories, including the renowned The Signal Man. While these tales differ from his celebrated realistic and humorous novels, they offer a unique blend of Gothic atmosphere and intriguing characters, making them a must-listen for fans of the macabre. Summary by Vivian Chan.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Section two B of Three Ghost Stories. This is a
LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
Recording by Marian Brown. Three Ghost Stories by Charles Dickens
(00:22):
The Haunted House, Chapter two, The Ghost in Master B's Room.
When I established myself in the triangular garret, which had
gained so distinguished a reputation, my thoughts naturally turned to
Master B. My speculations about him were uneasy and manifold.
Whether his Christian name was Benjamin by sextile from his
(00:46):
having been born in leap year, Bartholemew or Bill. Whether
the initial letter belonged to his family name, and that
was Baxter, Black, Brown, Barker, Buggins, Baker, or Bird. Whether
he was a foundling and had been baptized b Whether
he was a lion hearted boy and B was short
(01:07):
for Britain or for bull. Whether he could possibly have
been kith and kin to an illustrious lady who brightened
my own childhood and had come of the blood of
the brilliant mother Bunch. With these profitless meditations, I tormented
myself much. I also carried the mysterious letter into the
(01:28):
appearance and pursuits of the deceased, wondering whether he dressed
in blue wore boots. He couldn't have been bald, was
a boy of brains, liked books, was good at bowling,
had any skill as a boxer, even in his buoyant boyhood.
Bathed from a bathing machine at Bogner Banger, Bournemouth, Brighton
(01:49):
or broad Stairs like a bounding billiard ball. So from
the first I was haunted by the letter B. It
was not long before I remarked that I never, by
any hazard, had a dream of Master B, or of
anything belonging to him. But the instant I woke up
from sleep at whatever hour of the night, my thoughts
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took him up and roamed away, trying to attach his
initial letter to something that would fit it and keep
it quiet. For six days I had been worried thus
in Master B's room. When I began to perceive that
things were going wrong. The first appearance that presented itself
was early in the morning, when it was but just
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daylight and no more. I was standing shaving at my
glass when I suddenly discovered, to my consternation and amazement
that I was shaving, not myself I am fifty, but
a boy, apparently master b. I trembled and looked over
my shoulder, nothing there. I looked again in the glass
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and distinctly saw the features and expressions of a boy
who was shaving not to get rid of a beard,
but to get one. Extremely troubled in my mind, I
took a few turns in the room and went back
to the looking glass, resolved to steady my hand and
complete the operation in which I had been disturbed. Opening
my eyes, which I had shut while recovering my firmness,
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I now met in the glass looking straight at me
the eyes of a young man of four or five
and twenty. Terrified by this new ghost, I closed my
eyes and made a strong effort to recover myself. Opening
them again, I saw, shaving his cheek in the glass
my father, who has long been dead. Nay, I even
(03:38):
saw my grandfather too, whom I never did see in
my life. Although naturally much affected by these remarkable visitations,
I determined to keep my secret until the time agreed
upon for the present general disclosure. Agitated by a multitude
of curious thoughts, I retired to my room that night,
prepared to encounter some new experience of a spectral character.
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Nor was my preparation needless. For waking from an uneasy
sleep at exactly two o'clock in the morning, what were
my feelings to find that I was sharing my bed
with the skeleton of Master B. I sprang up, and
the skeleton sprang up also. I then heard a plaintive
voice saying where am I? What is become of me? And,
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looking hard in that direction, perceived the ghost of Master B.
The young specter was dressed in an obsolete fashion, or
rather was not so much dressed as put into a
case of inferior pepper and salt cloth made horrible by
means of shining buttons. I observed that these buttons went
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in a double row over each shoulder of the young ghost,
and appeared to descend his back. He wore a frill
round his neck. His right hand, which I distinctly noticed
to be inky, was laid upon his stomach. Connecting this
action with some feeble pimples on his countenance and his
general air of nausea, I concluded this ghost to be
(05:05):
the ghost of a boy who had habitually taken a
great deal too much medicine? Where am I, said the
little specter in pathetic voice, And why was I born
in the Calomel days? And why did I have all
that Calomel given me? I replied with sincere earnestness, that
upon my soul I couldn't tell him. Where is my
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little sister, said the ghost, And where my angelic little wife?
And where is the boy I went to school with?
I entreated the phantom to be comforted, and above all things,
to take heart. Respecting the loss of the boy he
went to school with. I represented to him that probably
that boy never did, within human experience, come out well
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when discovered. I urged that I myself had, in later life,
turned up several boys whom I went to school with,
and none of them had at all answered. I expressed
my humble belief that the boy never did answer. I
represented that he was a mythic character, a delusion and
a snare. I recounted how the last time I found him,
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I found him at a dinner party, behind a wall
of white cravat, with an inconclusive opinion on every possible subject,
and a power of silent boredom, absolutely titanic. I related
how on the strength of our having been together at
old Doylance's, he had asked himself to breakfast with me,
a social offense of the largest magnitude. How, fanning my
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weak embers of belief in Doylance's boys, I had let
him in, And how he had proved to be a
fearful wanderer about the earth, pursuing the race of Adam,
with inexplicable notions concerning the currency, and with a proposition
that the Bank of England should, on pain of being abolished,
instantly strike off and circulate. God knows how many thousand
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millions of ten and sixpenny notes. The ghost heard me
in silence, and with a fixed stare. Barber it apostrophised me.
When I had finished, Barber, I repeated, for I am
not of that profession. Condemned, said the ghost, to shave
a constant change of customers, Now me, now a young man,
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Now thyself as thou art, Now thy father, now thy grandfather.
Condemned too, to lie down with a skeleton every night,
and to rise with it every morning. I shuddered on
hearing this dismal announcement. Barber pursue me. I had felt
even before the words were uttered that I was under
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a spell to pursue the phantom. I immediately did so,
and was in Master B's room no longer. Most people
know what long and fatiguing night journeys had been forced
upon the witches who used to confess, and who no
doubt told the exact truth, particularly as they were always
assisted with leading questions and the torture was always ready.
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I asseverate that during my occupation of Master B's room,
I was taken by the ghost that haunted it, on
expeditions fully as long and wild as any of those assuredly,
I was presented to no shabby old man with a
goat's horns and tail, something between pan and an old clothesman,
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holding conventional reception as stupid as those of real life,
and less decent. But I came upon other things which
appeared to me to have more meaning. Confident that I
speak the truth and shall be believed, I declare without
hesitation that I followed the ghost, in the first instance
on a broomstick, and afterwards on a rocking horse. The
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very smell of the animal's paint, especially when I brought
it out by making him warm, I am ready to
swear to I followed the ghost afterwards in a Hackney coach,
an institution with the peculiar smell of which the present
generation is unacquainted, but to which I am again ready
to swear as a combination of stable dog with mange
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and very old bellows. In this I appealed to previous
generations to confirm or refute me. I pursued the phantom
on a headless donkey, at least upon a donkey who
was so interested in the state of his stomach that
his head was always down there investigating it. On ponies
expressly born to kick up behind on roundabouts, and swings
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from fairs in the first cab, another forgotten institution, where
the fair regularly got into bed and was tucked up
with the driver. Not to trouble you with the detailed
account of all my travels in pursuit of the ghost
of Master b which were longer and more wonderful than
those of Sinbad the Sailor, I will confine myself to
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one of experience from which you may judge of many
I was marvelously changed. I was myself, yet not myself.
I was conscious of something within me which has been
the same all through my life. And which I have
always recognized, under all its phases and varieties, as never altering.
(10:20):
And yet I was not the eye who had gone
to bed in Master B's room. I had the smoothest
of faces and shortest of legs, And I had taken
another creature like myself, also with the smoothest of faces
and the shortest of legs, behind a door, and was
confiding to him a proposition of the most astounding nature.
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This proposition was that we should have a seraglio. The
other creature assented warmly. He had no notion of respectability.
Neither had I. It was the custom of the East,
It was the way of the good Caliph Haroon al Rashid.
Let me have the corrupted name again, for once it
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is so scented with sweet memories. The usage was highly
laudable and most worthy of imitation. Oh yes, let us
said the other creature with a jump, have a seraglio.
It was not because we entertained the faintest doubts of
the meritorious character of the Oriental establishment we proposed to
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import that we perceived it must be kept a secret
from Miss Griffin. It was because we knew Miss Griffin
to be bereft of human sympathies and incapable of appreciating
the greatness of the great Haroun mystery impenetrably shrouded from
Miss Griffin. Then let us entrust it to Miss Buell.
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We were ten in Miss Griffin's establishment by Hampstead Ponds,
eight ladies and two gentlemen. Miss Buell, whom I judged
to have attained the ripe age of eight or nine,
took the lead in society. I opened the subject to
her in the course of the day and proposed that
she should become the favorite. Miss Buell, after struggling with
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the diffidence so natural to and charming in her adorable sex,
expressed herself as flattered by the idea, but wished to
know how it was proposed to provide for Miss Pipson.
Miss Buell, who was understood to have vowed towards that
young lady a friendship halves and no secrets until death.
(12:29):
On the Church service and Lessons complete in two volumes
with Case and Locke, Miss Buell said she could not,
as the friend of Pipson, disguise from herself or me
that Pipson was not one of the common now miss Pipson,
having curly hair and blue eyes, which was my idea
of anything mortal and feminine that was called fair. I
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promptly replied that I regarded Miss Pipson in the light
of a fair Circassian. And what then, Miss Buell pensively asked.
I replied that she must be in vagueed by a merchant,
brought to me, veiled and purchased as a slave. The
other creature had already fallen into the second male place
in the state, and was set apart for Grand Vizier.
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He afterwards resisted this disposal of events, but had his
hair pulled until he yielded. Shall I not be jealous?
Miss Buell, inquired, casting down her eyes. Zobeida know, I replied,
you will ever be the favorite Sultana, the first place
in my heart and on my throne. It will be
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ever yours. Miss Buell, upon that assurance, consented to propound
the idea to her seven beautiful companions. It occurring to
me in the course of the same day that we
knew we could trust a grinning and good natured soul
called Tabby, who was the serving drudge of the house
and had no more figure than one of the beds,
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and upon whose face there was always more or less
black lead. I slipped into Miss Buell's hand after supper
a little note to that effect, dwelling on the black
lead as being in a manner deposited by the finger
of Providence pointing tabby out for Messruer, the celebrated chief
of the Blacks of the Harim. There were difficulties in
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the formation of the desired institution, as there are in
all combinations. The other creature showed himself of a low character, and,
when defeated in aspiring to the throne, pretended to have
conscientious scruples about prostrating himself before the Caliph wouldn't call
him commander of the Faithful, spoke of him slightly and
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inconsistently as a mere chap said he. The other creature
wouldn't play play, and was otherwise coarse and offensive. This
meanness of disposition was, however, put down by the general
indignation of united Sirrahgi Glio, and I became blessed in
the smiles of aid of the fairest of the daughters
(15:04):
of men. The smiles could only be bestowed when Miss
Griffin was looking another way, and only then in a
very weary manner, For there was a legend among the
followers of the prophet that she saw with a little
round ornament in the middle of the pattern on the
back of her shawl. But every day after dinner, for
an hour we were all together, and then the favorite
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and the rest of the royal Harem competed who should
most beguile the leisure of the serene Haroun, reposing from
the cares of the state, which were generally, as in
most affairs of state, of an arithmetical character, the commander
of the faithful being a fearful boggler at a sum
On these occasions, the devoted Messrour, chief of the Blacks
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of the Harim, was always in attendance, Miss Griffin, usually
ringing for that officer at the same time with great vehemence.
But he never acquitted himself in a manner worthy of
his historical reputation. In the first place, his bringing a
broom into the divan of the Caliph, even when Haroun
wore on his shoulders the red robe of anger. Miss
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Pipson's Pealise, though it might be got over for the moment,
was never to be quite satisfactorily accounted for. In the
second place, his breaking out into grinning exclamations of lorc
eu prittes was neither eastern nor respectful. In the third place,
when specially instructed to say bismil lach, he always said hallelujah.
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This officer, unlike his class, was too good humored, altogether
kept his mouth open far too wide, expressed approbation to
an incongruous extent, and even once it was on the
occasion of the purchase of the fair Circassian for five
hundred thousand purses of gold, and deep too embraced the slave,
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the favorite, and the caliph all around parenthetically, let me
say God bless Mensur. And there may have been sons
and daughters on that tender bosom, softening many a hard day.
Since Miss Griffin was a model of propriety, and I
am at a loss to imagine what the feelings of
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the virtuous woman would have been if she had known
when she paraded us down that Hampstead road two and
two that she was walking with a stately step at
the head of polygamy and Mohammedianism. I believe that a
mysterious and terrible joy with which the contemplation of Miss
Griffin in this unconscious state inspired us, and a grim
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sense prevalent among us that there was a dreadful power
in our knowledge of what Miss Griffin, who knew all
things that could be learnt out of book, didn't know,
were the mainspring of the preservation of our secret. It
was wonderfully kept, but was once upon the verge of
self betrayal. The danger and escape occurred upon a Sunday.
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We were all ten ranged in a conspicuous part of
the gallery at church, with Miss Griffin at our head,
as we were every Sunday, advertising the establishment in an
unsecular sort of way. When the description of Solomon in
his domestic glory happened to be read. The moment that
monarch was thus referred to, Conscience whispered me, thou too, Haroun.
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The officiating minister had a cast in his eye, and
it assisted Conscience by giving him the appearance of reading
personally at me. A crimson blush, attended by a fearful perspiration,
suffused my features. The Grand Vizier became more dead than alive,
and the whole seraglio reddened, as if the sunset of
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Baghdad shone direct upon their lovely face. At this portentous time,
the awful Griffin rose and balefully surveyed the children of Islam.
My own impression was that Church and State had entered
into a conspiracy with Miss Griffin to expose us, and
that we should all be put into white sheets and
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exhibited in the centurisle. But so westerly, if I may
be allowed the expression of opposites to Eastern associations, was
Miss Griffin's sense of rectitude, that she merely suspected apples
and we were saved. I have called the seraglio united
upon the question solely whether the commander of the faithful
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Durst exercise a right of kissing in that sanctuary of
the palace. Were its peerless inmates divided? Zobidet asserted a
counter right in the favorite to scratch, and the fair
Circassian put her face for refuge into a green baize
bag originally designed for books. On the other hand, a
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young antelope of transcendent beauty from the faithful plains of
Camden Town, whence she had been brought by traders in
the half yearly caravan that crossed the intermediate desert after
the holidays held more liberal opinions, but stipulated for limiting
the benefit of them to that dog and son of
a dog, the Grand Vizier, who had no rights and
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was not in question at length. The difficulty was compromised
by the installation of a very youthful slave as deputy.
She raised upon a stool, officially received upon her cheeks
the salutes intended by the gracious Haroon for other sultanas,
and was privately rewarded from the coffers of the ladies
of the Harim. And now it was at the full
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height of enjoyment of my bliss that I became heavily troubled.
I began to think of my mother and what she
would say to my taking home at Midsummer eight of
the most beautiful of the daughters of men, but all unexpected.
I thought of the number of beds we made up
at our house, of my father's income, and of the baker,
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and my despondency redoubled. The Seraglio and malicious Vizier, divining
the cause of their lord's unhappiness, did their utmost to
augment it. They professed unbounded fidelity and declared that they
would live and die with him reduced to the utmost
wretchedness by these protestations of attachment. I lay awake for
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hours at a time, ruminating on my frightful lot. In
my despair, I think I might have taken an early
opportunity of falling on my knees before Miss Griffin, avowing
my resemblance to Solomon, and praying to be dealt with
according to the outraged laws of my country, if an
unthought of means of escape had not opened before me.
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One day we were out walking two and two, on
which occasion the Vizier had his usual instructions to take
note of the boy at the turnpike, and if he
profanely gazed, which he always did at the beauties of
the Harim, to have him bowstrung in the course of
the night. And it happened that our hearts were veiled
in gloom. An unaccountable action on the part of the
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Antelope had plunged the state into disgrace. That charmer, on
the representation that the previous day was her birthday and
that vast treasures had been sent in a hamper for
its celebration. Both baseless assertions had secretly but most pressingly
invited thirty five neighboring princes and princesses to a ball
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and supper, with a special stipulation that they were not
to be fetched till twelve. This wandering of the antelope's
fancy led to the surprising arrival at Miss Griffin's door
in divers equipages and other various escorts of a great
comety in full dress, who were deposited on the top
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step in a flush of high expectancy, and who were
dismissed in tears at the beginning of the double knocks attendant.
On these ceremonies, the antelope had retired to a back
attict and bolted herself in. Miss Griffin had gone so
much more and more distracted that at last she had
been seen to tear her front. Ultimate capitulation on the
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part of the offender had been followed by solitude in
the linen closet, bread and water, and a lecture to
all of vindictive length, in which Miss Griffin had used expressions, Firstly,
I believe you all of you knew of it. Secondly,
every one of you is as wicked as another. Thirdly,
a pack of little wretches. Under these circumstances. We were
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walking drearily along, and I, especially with my Mussulman responsibilities
heavy on me, was in a very low state of
mind when a strange man accosted Miss Griffin, and, after
walking on at her side for a little while and
talking with her, looked at me, supposing him to be
a minion of the law, and that my hour was come.
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I instantly ran away, with the general purpose of making
for Egypt. The whole seraglio cried out when they saw
me making off as fast as my legs would carry me.
I had an impression that the first turning on the
left and round by the public house would be the
shortest way to the Pyramids. Miss Griffin screamed after me.
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The faithless vizier ran after me, and the boy at
the turnpike dodged me into a corner like a sheep
and cut me off. Nobody scolded me when I was
taken and brought back. Miss Griffin only said, with a
stunning gentleness, this was very curious. Why had I run away?
When the gentleman looked at me. If I had had
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my breath to answer with, I dare say I should
have made no answer, Having no breath, I certainly made none.
Miss Griffin and the strange man took me between them
and walked me back to the palace in a sort
of state, but not at all, as I couldn't help
feeling with astonishment in culprit state. When we got there,
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we went into a room by ourselves, and Miss Griffin
called in to her assistance Mesruer, chief of the dusty
guards of the Harim Mesrur, on being whispered to began
to shed tears. Bless you, my precious, said that officer,
turning to me. Your pause took bitter bad, I asked,
with a fluttered heart, is he very ill? Lord? Temper
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the wind to you, my lamb, said the good Mezruer,
kneeling down, that I might have a comforting shoulder for
my head to rest on your paws. Dead Haroon al
Rashid took to flight at the words, the seraglio vanished.
From that moment I never again saw one of the
aid of the fairest of the daughters of men. I
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was taken home, and there was a dead at home
as well as a death, and we had a sail there.
My own little bed was so superciliously looked upon by
a power unknown to me, hazily called the trade, that
a brass coal scuttle, a roasting jack, and a bird
cage were obliged to be put into it, to make
a lot of it. And then it went for a song.
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So I heard mentioned, and I wondered what song, and
thought what a dismal song it must have been to sing.
Then I was sent to a great cold bear school
of big boys, where everything to eat and wear was
thick and clumpy without being enough, where everybody large and
small was cruel, where the boys knew all about the
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sail before I got there, and asked me what I
had fetched and who had brought me, and hooted at me,
going going gone. I never whispered in that wretched place
that I had been haroon or had had a seraglio,
for I knew that if I mentioned my reverses, I
should be so worried that I should have to drown
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myself in the muddy pond near the playground, which looked
like the bier ah Me, ah Me. No other ghost
has haunted the boy's room, my friends, since I have
occupied it, than the ghost of my own childhood, The
ghost of my own innocence, the ghost of my own
airy belief. Many a time have I pursued the phantom,
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never with this man's stride of mind to come up
with it, never with these man's hands of mine to
touch it, nevermore to this man's heart of mine to
hold it in its purity. And here you see me
working out as cheerfully and thankfully as I may, my
doom of shaving in the glass a constant change of customers,
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and of lying down and rising up with the skeleton
allotted to me for my mortal companion, and of section
to be
Section two B of Three Ghost Stories. This is a
LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
Recording by Marian Brown. Three Ghost Stories by Charles Dickens
(00:22):
The Haunted House, Chapter two, The Ghost in Master B's Room.
When I established myself in the triangular garret, which had
gained so distinguished a reputation, my thoughts naturally turned to
Master B. My speculations about him were uneasy and manifold.
Whether his Christian name was Benjamin by sextile from his
(00:46):
having been born in leap year, Bartholemew or Bill. Whether
the initial letter belonged to his family name, and that
was Baxter, Black, Brown, Barker, Buggins, Baker, or Bird. Whether
he was a foundling and had been baptized b Whether
he was a lion hearted boy and B was short
(01:07):
for Britain or for bull. Whether he could possibly have
been kith and kin to an illustrious lady who brightened
my own childhood and had come of the blood of
the brilliant mother Bunch. With these profitless meditations, I tormented
myself much. I also carried the mysterious letter into the
(01:28):
appearance and pursuits of the deceased, wondering whether he dressed
in blue wore boots. He couldn't have been bald, was
a boy of brains, liked books, was good at bowling,
had any skill as a boxer, even in his buoyant boyhood.
Bathed from a bathing machine at Bogner Banger, Bournemouth, Brighton
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or broad Stairs like a bounding billiard ball. So from
the first I was haunted by the letter B. It
was not long before I remarked that I never, by
any hazard, had a dream of Master B, or of
anything belonging to him. But the instant I woke up
from sleep at whatever hour of the night, my thoughts
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took him up and roamed away, trying to attach his
initial letter to something that would fit it and keep
it quiet. For six days I had been worried thus
in Master B's room. When I began to perceive that
things were going wrong. The first appearance that presented itself
was early in the morning, when it was but just
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daylight and no more. I was standing shaving at my
glass when I suddenly discovered, to my consternation and amazement
that I was shaving, not myself I am fifty, but
a boy, apparently master b. I trembled and looked over
my shoulder, nothing there. I looked again in the glass
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and distinctly saw the features and expressions of a boy
who was shaving not to get rid of a beard,
but to get one. Extremely troubled in my mind, I
took a few turns in the room and went back
to the looking glass, resolved to steady my hand and
complete the operation in which I had been disturbed. Opening
my eyes, which I had shut while recovering my firmness,
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I now met in the glass looking straight at me
the eyes of a young man of four or five
and twenty. Terrified by this new ghost, I closed my
eyes and made a strong effort to recover myself. Opening
them again, I saw, shaving his cheek in the glass
my father, who has long been dead. Nay, I even
(03:38):
saw my grandfather too, whom I never did see in
my life. Although naturally much affected by these remarkable visitations,
I determined to keep my secret until the time agreed
upon for the present general disclosure. Agitated by a multitude
of curious thoughts, I retired to my room that night,
prepared to encounter some new experience of a spectral character.
(04:02):
Nor was my preparation needless. For waking from an uneasy
sleep at exactly two o'clock in the morning, what were
my feelings to find that I was sharing my bed
with the skeleton of Master B. I sprang up, and
the skeleton sprang up also. I then heard a plaintive
voice saying where am I? What is become of me? And,
(04:23):
looking hard in that direction, perceived the ghost of Master B.
The young specter was dressed in an obsolete fashion, or
rather was not so much dressed as put into a
case of inferior pepper and salt cloth made horrible by
means of shining buttons. I observed that these buttons went
(04:43):
in a double row over each shoulder of the young ghost,
and appeared to descend his back. He wore a frill
round his neck. His right hand, which I distinctly noticed
to be inky, was laid upon his stomach. Connecting this
action with some feeble pimples on his countenance and his
general air of nausea, I concluded this ghost to be
(05:05):
the ghost of a boy who had habitually taken a
great deal too much medicine? Where am I, said the
little specter in pathetic voice, And why was I born
in the Calomel days? And why did I have all
that Calomel given me? I replied with sincere earnestness, that
upon my soul I couldn't tell him. Where is my
(05:27):
little sister, said the ghost, And where my angelic little wife?
And where is the boy I went to school with?
I entreated the phantom to be comforted, and above all things,
to take heart. Respecting the loss of the boy he
went to school with. I represented to him that probably
that boy never did, within human experience, come out well
(05:50):
when discovered. I urged that I myself had, in later life,
turned up several boys whom I went to school with,
and none of them had at all answered. I expressed
my humble belief that the boy never did answer. I
represented that he was a mythic character, a delusion and
a snare. I recounted how the last time I found him,
(06:13):
I found him at a dinner party, behind a wall
of white cravat, with an inconclusive opinion on every possible subject,
and a power of silent boredom, absolutely titanic. I related
how on the strength of our having been together at
old Doylance's, he had asked himself to breakfast with me,
a social offense of the largest magnitude. How, fanning my
(06:37):
weak embers of belief in Doylance's boys, I had let
him in, And how he had proved to be a
fearful wanderer about the earth, pursuing the race of Adam,
with inexplicable notions concerning the currency, and with a proposition
that the Bank of England should, on pain of being abolished,
instantly strike off and circulate. God knows how many thousand
(06:59):
millions of ten and sixpenny notes. The ghost heard me
in silence, and with a fixed stare. Barber it apostrophised me.
When I had finished, Barber, I repeated, for I am
not of that profession. Condemned, said the ghost, to shave
a constant change of customers, Now me, now a young man,
(07:22):
Now thyself as thou art, Now thy father, now thy grandfather.
Condemned too, to lie down with a skeleton every night,
and to rise with it every morning. I shuddered on
hearing this dismal announcement. Barber pursue me. I had felt
even before the words were uttered that I was under
(07:43):
a spell to pursue the phantom. I immediately did so,
and was in Master B's room no longer. Most people
know what long and fatiguing night journeys had been forced
upon the witches who used to confess, and who no
doubt told the exact truth, particularly as they were always
assisted with leading questions and the torture was always ready.
(08:08):
I asseverate that during my occupation of Master B's room,
I was taken by the ghost that haunted it, on
expeditions fully as long and wild as any of those assuredly,
I was presented to no shabby old man with a
goat's horns and tail, something between pan and an old clothesman,
(08:28):
holding conventional reception as stupid as those of real life,
and less decent. But I came upon other things which
appeared to me to have more meaning. Confident that I
speak the truth and shall be believed, I declare without
hesitation that I followed the ghost, in the first instance
on a broomstick, and afterwards on a rocking horse. The
(08:52):
very smell of the animal's paint, especially when I brought
it out by making him warm, I am ready to
swear to I followed the ghost afterwards in a Hackney coach,
an institution with the peculiar smell of which the present
generation is unacquainted, but to which I am again ready
to swear as a combination of stable dog with mange
(09:14):
and very old bellows. In this I appealed to previous
generations to confirm or refute me. I pursued the phantom
on a headless donkey, at least upon a donkey who
was so interested in the state of his stomach that
his head was always down there investigating it. On ponies
expressly born to kick up behind on roundabouts, and swings
(09:37):
from fairs in the first cab, another forgotten institution, where
the fair regularly got into bed and was tucked up
with the driver. Not to trouble you with the detailed
account of all my travels in pursuit of the ghost
of Master b which were longer and more wonderful than
those of Sinbad the Sailor, I will confine myself to
(09:59):
one of experience from which you may judge of many
I was marvelously changed. I was myself, yet not myself.
I was conscious of something within me which has been
the same all through my life. And which I have
always recognized, under all its phases and varieties, as never altering.
(10:20):
And yet I was not the eye who had gone
to bed in Master B's room. I had the smoothest
of faces and shortest of legs, And I had taken
another creature like myself, also with the smoothest of faces
and the shortest of legs, behind a door, and was
confiding to him a proposition of the most astounding nature.
(10:42):
This proposition was that we should have a seraglio. The
other creature assented warmly. He had no notion of respectability.
Neither had I. It was the custom of the East,
It was the way of the good Caliph Haroon al Rashid.
Let me have the corrupted name again, for once it
(11:04):
is so scented with sweet memories. The usage was highly
laudable and most worthy of imitation. Oh yes, let us
said the other creature with a jump, have a seraglio.
It was not because we entertained the faintest doubts of
the meritorious character of the Oriental establishment we proposed to
(11:25):
import that we perceived it must be kept a secret
from Miss Griffin. It was because we knew Miss Griffin
to be bereft of human sympathies and incapable of appreciating
the greatness of the great Haroun mystery impenetrably shrouded from
Miss Griffin. Then let us entrust it to Miss Buell.
(11:47):
We were ten in Miss Griffin's establishment by Hampstead Ponds,
eight ladies and two gentlemen. Miss Buell, whom I judged
to have attained the ripe age of eight or nine,
took the lead in society. I opened the subject to
her in the course of the day and proposed that
she should become the favorite. Miss Buell, after struggling with
(12:08):
the diffidence so natural to and charming in her adorable sex,
expressed herself as flattered by the idea, but wished to
know how it was proposed to provide for Miss Pipson.
Miss Buell, who was understood to have vowed towards that
young lady a friendship halves and no secrets until death.
(12:29):
On the Church service and Lessons complete in two volumes
with Case and Locke, Miss Buell said she could not,
as the friend of Pipson, disguise from herself or me
that Pipson was not one of the common now miss Pipson,
having curly hair and blue eyes, which was my idea
of anything mortal and feminine that was called fair. I
(12:52):
promptly replied that I regarded Miss Pipson in the light
of a fair Circassian. And what then, Miss Buell pensively asked.
I replied that she must be in vagueed by a merchant,
brought to me, veiled and purchased as a slave. The
other creature had already fallen into the second male place
in the state, and was set apart for Grand Vizier.
(13:15):
He afterwards resisted this disposal of events, but had his
hair pulled until he yielded. Shall I not be jealous?
Miss Buell, inquired, casting down her eyes. Zobeida know, I replied,
you will ever be the favorite Sultana, the first place
in my heart and on my throne. It will be
(13:35):
ever yours. Miss Buell, upon that assurance, consented to propound
the idea to her seven beautiful companions. It occurring to
me in the course of the same day that we
knew we could trust a grinning and good natured soul
called Tabby, who was the serving drudge of the house
and had no more figure than one of the beds,
(13:58):
and upon whose face there was always more or less
black lead. I slipped into Miss Buell's hand after supper
a little note to that effect, dwelling on the black
lead as being in a manner deposited by the finger
of Providence pointing tabby out for Messruer, the celebrated chief
of the Blacks of the Harim. There were difficulties in
(14:21):
the formation of the desired institution, as there are in
all combinations. The other creature showed himself of a low character, and,
when defeated in aspiring to the throne, pretended to have
conscientious scruples about prostrating himself before the Caliph wouldn't call
him commander of the Faithful, spoke of him slightly and
(14:43):
inconsistently as a mere chap said he. The other creature
wouldn't play play, and was otherwise coarse and offensive. This
meanness of disposition was, however, put down by the general
indignation of united Sirrahgi Glio, and I became blessed in
the smiles of aid of the fairest of the daughters
(15:04):
of men. The smiles could only be bestowed when Miss
Griffin was looking another way, and only then in a
very weary manner, For there was a legend among the
followers of the prophet that she saw with a little
round ornament in the middle of the pattern on the
back of her shawl. But every day after dinner, for
an hour we were all together, and then the favorite
(15:27):
and the rest of the royal Harem competed who should
most beguile the leisure of the serene Haroun, reposing from
the cares of the state, which were generally, as in
most affairs of state, of an arithmetical character, the commander
of the faithful being a fearful boggler at a sum
On these occasions, the devoted Messrour, chief of the Blacks
(15:51):
of the Harim, was always in attendance, Miss Griffin, usually
ringing for that officer at the same time with great vehemence.
But he never acquitted himself in a manner worthy of
his historical reputation. In the first place, his bringing a
broom into the divan of the Caliph, even when Haroun
wore on his shoulders the red robe of anger. Miss
(16:15):
Pipson's Pealise, though it might be got over for the moment,
was never to be quite satisfactorily accounted for. In the
second place, his breaking out into grinning exclamations of lorc
eu prittes was neither eastern nor respectful. In the third place,
when specially instructed to say bismil lach, he always said hallelujah.
(16:40):
This officer, unlike his class, was too good humored, altogether
kept his mouth open far too wide, expressed approbation to
an incongruous extent, and even once it was on the
occasion of the purchase of the fair Circassian for five
hundred thousand purses of gold, and deep too embraced the slave,
(17:02):
the favorite, and the caliph all around parenthetically, let me
say God bless Mensur. And there may have been sons
and daughters on that tender bosom, softening many a hard day.
Since Miss Griffin was a model of propriety, and I
am at a loss to imagine what the feelings of
(17:23):
the virtuous woman would have been if she had known
when she paraded us down that Hampstead road two and
two that she was walking with a stately step at
the head of polygamy and Mohammedianism. I believe that a
mysterious and terrible joy with which the contemplation of Miss
Griffin in this unconscious state inspired us, and a grim
(17:47):
sense prevalent among us that there was a dreadful power
in our knowledge of what Miss Griffin, who knew all
things that could be learnt out of book, didn't know,
were the mainspring of the preservation of our secret. It
was wonderfully kept, but was once upon the verge of
self betrayal. The danger and escape occurred upon a Sunday.
(18:09):
We were all ten ranged in a conspicuous part of
the gallery at church, with Miss Griffin at our head,
as we were every Sunday, advertising the establishment in an
unsecular sort of way. When the description of Solomon in
his domestic glory happened to be read. The moment that
monarch was thus referred to, Conscience whispered me, thou too, Haroun.
(18:35):
The officiating minister had a cast in his eye, and
it assisted Conscience by giving him the appearance of reading
personally at me. A crimson blush, attended by a fearful perspiration,
suffused my features. The Grand Vizier became more dead than alive,
and the whole seraglio reddened, as if the sunset of
(18:57):
Baghdad shone direct upon their lovely face. At this portentous time,
the awful Griffin rose and balefully surveyed the children of Islam.
My own impression was that Church and State had entered
into a conspiracy with Miss Griffin to expose us, and
that we should all be put into white sheets and
(19:18):
exhibited in the centurisle. But so westerly, if I may
be allowed the expression of opposites to Eastern associations, was
Miss Griffin's sense of rectitude, that she merely suspected apples
and we were saved. I have called the seraglio united
upon the question solely whether the commander of the faithful
(19:40):
Durst exercise a right of kissing in that sanctuary of
the palace. Were its peerless inmates divided? Zobidet asserted a
counter right in the favorite to scratch, and the fair
Circassian put her face for refuge into a green baize
bag originally designed for books. On the other hand, a
(20:01):
young antelope of transcendent beauty from the faithful plains of
Camden Town, whence she had been brought by traders in
the half yearly caravan that crossed the intermediate desert after
the holidays held more liberal opinions, but stipulated for limiting
the benefit of them to that dog and son of
a dog, the Grand Vizier, who had no rights and
(20:23):
was not in question at length. The difficulty was compromised
by the installation of a very youthful slave as deputy.
She raised upon a stool, officially received upon her cheeks
the salutes intended by the gracious Haroon for other sultanas,
and was privately rewarded from the coffers of the ladies
of the Harim. And now it was at the full
(20:47):
height of enjoyment of my bliss that I became heavily troubled.
I began to think of my mother and what she
would say to my taking home at Midsummer eight of
the most beautiful of the daughters of men, but all unexpected.
I thought of the number of beds we made up
at our house, of my father's income, and of the baker,
(21:08):
and my despondency redoubled. The Seraglio and malicious Vizier, divining
the cause of their lord's unhappiness, did their utmost to
augment it. They professed unbounded fidelity and declared that they
would live and die with him reduced to the utmost
wretchedness by these protestations of attachment. I lay awake for
(21:31):
hours at a time, ruminating on my frightful lot. In
my despair, I think I might have taken an early
opportunity of falling on my knees before Miss Griffin, avowing
my resemblance to Solomon, and praying to be dealt with
according to the outraged laws of my country, if an
unthought of means of escape had not opened before me.
(21:54):
One day we were out walking two and two, on
which occasion the Vizier had his usual instructions to take
note of the boy at the turnpike, and if he
profanely gazed, which he always did at the beauties of
the Harim, to have him bowstrung in the course of
the night. And it happened that our hearts were veiled
in gloom. An unaccountable action on the part of the
(22:18):
Antelope had plunged the state into disgrace. That charmer, on
the representation that the previous day was her birthday and
that vast treasures had been sent in a hamper for
its celebration. Both baseless assertions had secretly but most pressingly
invited thirty five neighboring princes and princesses to a ball
(22:41):
and supper, with a special stipulation that they were not
to be fetched till twelve. This wandering of the antelope's
fancy led to the surprising arrival at Miss Griffin's door
in divers equipages and other various escorts of a great
comety in full dress, who were deposited on the top
(23:03):
step in a flush of high expectancy, and who were
dismissed in tears at the beginning of the double knocks attendant.
On these ceremonies, the antelope had retired to a back
attict and bolted herself in. Miss Griffin had gone so
much more and more distracted that at last she had
been seen to tear her front. Ultimate capitulation on the
(23:25):
part of the offender had been followed by solitude in
the linen closet, bread and water, and a lecture to
all of vindictive length, in which Miss Griffin had used expressions, Firstly,
I believe you all of you knew of it. Secondly,
every one of you is as wicked as another. Thirdly,
a pack of little wretches. Under these circumstances. We were
(23:50):
walking drearily along, and I, especially with my Mussulman responsibilities
heavy on me, was in a very low state of
mind when a strange man accosted Miss Griffin, and, after
walking on at her side for a little while and
talking with her, looked at me, supposing him to be
a minion of the law, and that my hour was come.
(24:13):
I instantly ran away, with the general purpose of making
for Egypt. The whole seraglio cried out when they saw
me making off as fast as my legs would carry me.
I had an impression that the first turning on the
left and round by the public house would be the
shortest way to the Pyramids. Miss Griffin screamed after me.
(24:34):
The faithless vizier ran after me, and the boy at
the turnpike dodged me into a corner like a sheep
and cut me off. Nobody scolded me when I was
taken and brought back. Miss Griffin only said, with a
stunning gentleness, this was very curious. Why had I run away?
When the gentleman looked at me. If I had had
(24:54):
my breath to answer with, I dare say I should
have made no answer, Having no breath, I certainly made none.
Miss Griffin and the strange man took me between them
and walked me back to the palace in a sort
of state, but not at all, as I couldn't help
feeling with astonishment in culprit state. When we got there,
(25:15):
we went into a room by ourselves, and Miss Griffin
called in to her assistance Mesruer, chief of the dusty
guards of the Harim Mesrur, on being whispered to began
to shed tears. Bless you, my precious, said that officer,
turning to me. Your pause took bitter bad, I asked,
with a fluttered heart, is he very ill? Lord? Temper
(25:39):
the wind to you, my lamb, said the good Mezruer,
kneeling down, that I might have a comforting shoulder for
my head to rest on your paws. Dead Haroon al
Rashid took to flight at the words, the seraglio vanished.
From that moment I never again saw one of the
aid of the fairest of the daughters of men. I
(25:59):
was taken home, and there was a dead at home
as well as a death, and we had a sail there.
My own little bed was so superciliously looked upon by
a power unknown to me, hazily called the trade, that
a brass coal scuttle, a roasting jack, and a bird
cage were obliged to be put into it, to make
a lot of it. And then it went for a song.
(26:22):
So I heard mentioned, and I wondered what song, and
thought what a dismal song it must have been to sing.
Then I was sent to a great cold bear school
of big boys, where everything to eat and wear was
thick and clumpy without being enough, where everybody large and
small was cruel, where the boys knew all about the
(26:44):
sail before I got there, and asked me what I
had fetched and who had brought me, and hooted at me,
going going gone. I never whispered in that wretched place
that I had been haroon or had had a seraglio,
for I knew that if I mentioned my reverses, I
should be so worried that I should have to drown
(27:05):
myself in the muddy pond near the playground, which looked
like the bier ah Me, ah Me. No other ghost
has haunted the boy's room, my friends, since I have
occupied it, than the ghost of my own childhood, The
ghost of my own innocence, the ghost of my own
airy belief. Many a time have I pursued the phantom,
(27:29):
never with this man's stride of mind to come up
with it, never with these man's hands of mine to
touch it, nevermore to this man's heart of mine to
hold it in its purity. And here you see me
working out as cheerfully and thankfully as I may, my
doom of shaving in the glass a constant change of customers,
(27:51):
and of lying down and rising up with the skeleton
allotted to me for my mortal companion, and of section
to be
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