August 9, 2025 • 13 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Fiber McGhee and Molly Show MDC and Pelton bring Sibber,
McGee and Money transcribe. The show is written by Bill
Leslie and Ralph Goodman and directed by Max Mule.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Tibber and Malley will be with you in a minute.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
This is Don Wilson for Tom's Well. I guess everybody
celebrates the new year, each in his own way. Maybe
you're planning to have friends in for the evening or
going to a party, or perhaps you're planning a night
on the town. However you celebrate, don't take a chance
on having your evening spoiled by acid indigestion or heartburn.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Carry Tom's in pocket or first.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Then if acid indigestion should strike as a result of overeating,
over indulgence, or too much smoking.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
You'll be prepared for.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Don't wait relief, No waiting for glasses, spoons or water.
You take tombs on the spot like candy for sake,
fast relief. And since it's the new year, get the convenient,
economical twelve roll box of tombs. We're only a dollar.
It's like getting two extra rolls free by the single
roll at ten cents, or the twelve roll box at
(01:17):
one dollar get tombs from your druggist Now. Tom's America's
number one choice for don't wait, relief from massive indigestion
and heartburg.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
The big talk around Whist for this to this week
is the New Year's Eve dance and home baked vaudeville
show being thrown at the.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Local Elks Club.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Here's a local Elk giving his way a fast rundown
in the situation right now, So.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I past the Watson this morning. He can charge of
the NTEN committee forody else you know what's in his way? Yeah, Still,
I've heard name to him because he's exactly type. The
loud voice, a habit of interrupting people when they're talking,
and the talent forgetting everybody else to do the dirtty work. Also,
he's got the kind of a face that if nothing
else works, he can get a laugh by just poking
it out through the curtains between the acts. But what'd
you say to him? What'd I say to him? Oh? Well, well, Watson,
(02:11):
I says, I'm a busy man and I don't have
much time for that kind of stuff. But since it's
for my brother else, I'll do it. So I'm gonna
do it? Do what be in the show that us
Felts are putting on at the New Year's Eve party.
I'll probably headline the bill. How do you think of that?
Speaker 5 (02:24):
Well, I think it ought to be fun. He just
let me know what he's gonna be in the show,
and I'll make you a nice task too.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
No, you don't have to worry about any of that stuff, Kittle.
I got everything I need right out here in the
living room. In the living room, while you were not
talking to the milkman, I brought my old vauterbilt trunk
down out of the attic.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Oh no, you're not going out on that Elks Club stage,
and do this right.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
The old act that I am Frednant did the guy
him and I used to have at the vater all
act together from Starbrock, Illinois together did in vaudevio, and
again I used to tell them funny jokes like I'd
say to him. I'd say to Fred, I hear brother,
and he'd say, not so good. Got his arm broke
in two places, and I'd say you ought to stay
out of them places.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
Then there's a place you should stay out of too.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
That's the Elks Club. With those jokes don't too worry.
This is all proven material sirfire. When I walk out
on that stage Thursday night, I'll be the hit of
the show.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Well, let's argue that later, lapper.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
Right now, I've got to get down to the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
We won't have any dinner.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes. Don't get
into any trouble.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
While I'm gone. What do you mean trouble? What can
happen in a few minutes.
Speaker 5 (03:18):
That is a very interesting question. Why I ask myself
every time I go out, and there's always an interesting answer, winking.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
When I get back, well, you just take your time.
All I'm gonna do is try on a few of
these funny hats, my old Baudavild trunk. I wanna see
if they still fit me.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Be good.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
I'll be back un okay, Ah, there goes a good kids.
Wives may come and wives may go, but not my wife.
She's afraid to leave me alone for a minute. How
can a guy get into any trouble just looking into
an old Waterville trunk? Well, look at this, my old
Jimmy Duranty knows. Oh still fens too, un. I've got
(03:58):
a minute of them anyway. There's a whole beat up
twelve hat that I used to get fed over the
head with when the joke didn't get a laugh. Oh
those Vaudeville days. No I wanna do uh come in here.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Ain't mister?
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Oh it's you timmy an Just come on. She did it,
didn't he? She went and did it? Who did? What?
What you talking about it? Mister? Howe? You get it?
Speaker 5 (04:24):
He punched you in the mouse, just like you said
he was.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
It's all slow out. I don't nobody punched me in
the noses. This isn't mine. Other see just a piece
of cardboard like a.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Cat h.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
A sly Do you have vet?
Speaker 5 (04:40):
And we tell you I hadn't like that, so mine
now so it wouldn't get tall.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
This ain't a beezer, Bond says. It's one of the
props I used to use when I was in Vottleville
where mister vottlebil See haven't you heard of Bottleville? No,
we're only up to make it tall my jack as
he's class No, no, no, teeny bo uh vatervill Land
in the country. It's it's a show only Hey, I'll
tell you what. You sit right down, here and I'll
show you what Waterville is. Okay, Oh bye, I'm Lana Belle.
(05:04):
This will be you want to pull the too. I
got a record here someplace that I am treading it
and used to open with the car.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Here it is.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Let me turn this record player on.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Oh my lie shells matchick, you're a here a shell?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
No, I'm not not yet. When I get off stage
here to start, you can put the needle on the
record when I tell you, I'll come on to the
music you see.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Okay, okay, ready on stage music, Okay, drop the needs.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
I'm good age to.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Ladies, said many vid.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Mean thank you? Might throw thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
You know.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
A funny thing happened to me on the way to
here tonight. A man walked up to me and said, mister,
will you give me a dime for a cup of coffee?
And I said I might. Let's see the coffee. Don't
you get it to me? I said, what does that mean, messta?
What does that mean? You don't drink coffee? Dear? No?
Did he want to tellure a coffee man?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Becauts are dying.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I'm afraid this stuff's little too sophisticated for uses it's
too subtle. You're on our home and tell you're supposed
to meet the elf stub New Year's e though, if
because when I walk out on the stage and start
find them jokes at them all makes it.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
There's more fun with the McGee. Shortly, Democracy and education
go hand in hand because each depends upon the other.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
The importance of education and good schools is an.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
American tradition that goes back to the earliest days of
our nation. The fact is, our whole way of life
is based upon our public school.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
System, and in the way, our pride in our schools.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Is as important as our pride in our country. Today,
a serious situation in our schools is arising, caused by
an unprecedented increase in our population. Our schools must be
made adequate in both numbers and facilities to take care
of millions more children in many communities, New and larger
school buildings are needed, classes are crowded and they're just
darn enough teachers to do a good job, and other
(07:01):
community of school facilities are old fashioned and inadequate. It's
up to every citizen to find out just what the
conditions are in the schools in his community. If improvements
are needed.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Join with others and see that those improvements are made.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
If you need help in improving conditions, right to the
National Citizens Commission for Public Schools, New York City, New York.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Begin hom Oh, hi kiddel, you should have been here.
I've been part of my act vitima.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
How did you enjoy it?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Oh? She loved me. I told her a couple of
my surefire jokes. You should have heard that kid laugh,
liked and did she Well, you know how kids are
easiest audience in the world. Did you finish your marketing?
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Yes, I've brought along the things we'll need for tonight.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
The old timer will deliver the rest later.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Yeah, let me help them that stuff.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Well, thank you, Sezar.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Just tell me those things.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
I'll put them away salary.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
All right. You know I've been going over this whole
last of mind it is, you know, looking over these
jokes spread and I used to do corn. Some of
them may be slightly Oh okay the corn. Yeah, Oh,
here you are. I got a problem telling these jokes.
So Molly, he's dead. The trouble is, it takes two
people to tell them. You know, there are questions and
answer type jokes like I used to say to friend,
tell me Schultz Shultz. Yeah, we have probably called a
(08:17):
Meren Schultz routine. I was Meyer and he was Shultz,
you know, except during matt and as we used to
switch it around to break the monotonies. Oh, I see,
tell me Schultz. I'd say, you know what kind of
vegetable to the erase in the beer garden? After the
sea the sea routine? You see. Then he would say, no,
I don't tell me Meyer, what kind of vegetable to
erase in the beer garden? And then I'd come back
with the snapper. I'd say to me, oh, you know
(08:39):
that one, it's definitely for measure.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Then that's popcros.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
I got a lot of others. Oh just the sure fires.
That one you ruined by coming in with that snapper
before I had.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
I'm sorry, Gary, but that is an awful old joke.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
I'm still plenty of people who haven't heard it. But
that isn't my problem. My problem is I need a
good straight man I could get. I need somebody with
a kind of a hang dog expressed, you know, sad looking,
sad looking guy that'll get the audience's sympathy.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
But those he joke tails certainly have mine.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Chip me a guy with a good loud voice that
they can hear him tearing the macro. And it kind
of because.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Tres ay the old time.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
God, Gary, he's an old man. You can't run as
fast as he used to.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
All right, here's rest your groceries.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Put him down right there, old timer. I want to
talk to you.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Oh hi, Conny, Sure, what's gud your mind?
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Old timer? I'm gonna do you a great.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Big favorite God.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
Oh, you don't have to chip me, Johnny, forget it,
no sense you're going through that whole business. We're looking
through your pockets for change again.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
The last time you did that, it ended up with
me letting you a quarter. And I can't afford that
again today, So let's skip it.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
I wasn't talking about that. How'd you like to go
on the stage?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Oh not me, Johnny, I'm too old.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
I jont you, Jimmy.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
Papa used to drive the stage between Abilene and Sandy Gout.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
On the way.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
That coach used to bounce all over the road. It
was all Papa could do.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
To hang on.
Speaker 6 (09:50):
God, so we had the failures hip pockets full lead
to keep from bounce out. That's where that expression came from?
Speaker 4 (09:56):
What expression?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Next?
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Time?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Cry the praise?
Speaker 4 (10:00):
I been talking about the stage coach. I was talking
about the entertainment stage, show business.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Oh that kind of stay.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
You mean there's a business like shops the paper to
a per car do what he put it?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
That's it, perf I mean, that's it. Look, I'm gonna
do my great old bottom ale act. They'll pudge him
day New Year's Eve. And I need a good state man,
somebody to tell the jokes too.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
You were I didn't just say so, Jarny, find a
lots of them. Have you heard the one about the
fellow charge? First? Carl said, say, I got the Joe
sorrow and ibby, I just need someone to do.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Him with me. Oh, and I think with a proper coaching,
you might be the man for the gob not promised amusing.
But I'll give you a try out if you're in.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
And I said, okay, Charnie, where do we start and.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
We'll try it out on these Joe's try here. First
you read the part mark chilt, I'll be meyer us
German accent, curtcha.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Go ahead, Jarny tell me choke y'are yeah?
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Yeare you see yeah? Right anywhere.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I went, just staying along, Jarny getting in the mood.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Well, don't play along.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
That's what's on there, Okay, Johnny, go ahead.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Tell me so what kind of events supposed to be raised?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
And the beard gotton percasey, Johnny stood tomatoes.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
That's my line. You're supposed to say. I don't know, no, no,
I have no dead joke.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
Oh my wife Johnny Pobby used to tell it to
her skids all the time. Says he heard General Grant
tell it to the boys at the celebration party after
they took Richmond. Grant says he got it from Washington's memoirs.
Used to be one of Charge's favorites him and Martha's.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
On her mind.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Forget it my I'm going over to talk to herb Tavis,
he used to pull the curtain for all the school plays.
Maybe with a little coach. He heard the work on
this old funny daddy. I gotta find these statement for that.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
We'll say good night to Diver and Molly in the moment.
Christmas may be past, but the holiday spirit still prevails
across the land, and on the wonderful programs of the
NBC Radio Network, you'll hear the spirit reflected and great
radio edit.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Tomorrow night.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
For example, listen to the top comedy entertainment by that
master Marksman Groucho Mark. You Bet Your Life is Grout
Show show, and that's packed with good holiday listening. Is
Grout Show pokes fund at his contestants and offers them
opportunities to share in the prize money. We know you'll
enjoy You Bet Your Life each Wednesday evening on the
NBC Radio Network. And we know you'll also want to
be on hand for the fun filled Great Gilder Sleeve Program.
(12:23):
Willard Waterman portrays the bumbling Gilder Sleeve and the last
comes thick and fast as he waves into trouble at
Summerfield's water Commissioner. Then you're invited to sit still and
walk a mile. Sounds impossible, we know, but you can do.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
It tomorrow as you listen to Bill Cullen in the fast.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Paced Walk a Mile program. Keep your date with relaxing
radio listening and set your dial right here to this
station where you hear the familiar three mbc chi.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
He ask herb to work and you act with your
daby yep.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
I explained to him what a great act. It was,
and he was really anxious to do it, so I
write him a few of the.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Jokes I do you say that.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Don't worry, I'll find it straight man. I'll get the
right guy. Good Night, good night A.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
NBC and Toms have brought you the Fibber McGhee and
Bali program. Transcriber Bill Thompson as.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
The old timer.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
This is John Walld inviting here to be with us
again tomorrow night for another visit with Bibber McGee and Bally.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Make your kitchen chores lighter with the heartwarming shows on
the NBC Radio Network.
The Fiber McGhee and Molly Show MDC and Pelton bring Sibber,
McGee and Money transcribe. The show is written by Bill
Leslie and Ralph Goodman and directed by Max Mule.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Tibber and Malley will be with you in a minute.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
This is Don Wilson for Tom's Well. I guess everybody
celebrates the new year, each in his own way. Maybe
you're planning to have friends in for the evening or
going to a party, or perhaps you're planning a night
on the town. However you celebrate, don't take a chance
on having your evening spoiled by acid indigestion or heartburn.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Carry Tom's in pocket or first.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Then if acid indigestion should strike as a result of overeating,
over indulgence, or too much smoking.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
You'll be prepared for.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Don't wait relief, No waiting for glasses, spoons or water.
You take tombs on the spot like candy for sake,
fast relief. And since it's the new year, get the convenient,
economical twelve roll box of tombs. We're only a dollar.
It's like getting two extra rolls free by the single
roll at ten cents, or the twelve roll box at
(01:17):
one dollar get tombs from your druggist Now. Tom's America's
number one choice for don't wait, relief from massive indigestion
and heartburg.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
The big talk around Whist for this to this week
is the New Year's Eve dance and home baked vaudeville
show being thrown at the.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Local Elks Club.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Here's a local Elk giving his way a fast rundown
in the situation right now, So.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I past the Watson this morning. He can charge of
the NTEN committee forody else you know what's in his way? Yeah, Still,
I've heard name to him because he's exactly type. The
loud voice, a habit of interrupting people when they're talking,
and the talent forgetting everybody else to do the dirtty work. Also,
he's got the kind of a face that if nothing
else works, he can get a laugh by just poking
it out through the curtains between the acts. But what'd
you say to him? What'd I say to him? Oh? Well, well, Watson,
(02:11):
I says, I'm a busy man and I don't have
much time for that kind of stuff. But since it's
for my brother else, I'll do it. So I'm gonna
do it? Do what be in the show that us
Felts are putting on at the New Year's Eve party.
I'll probably headline the bill. How do you think of that?
Speaker 5 (02:24):
Well, I think it ought to be fun. He just
let me know what he's gonna be in the show,
and I'll make you a nice task too.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
No, you don't have to worry about any of that stuff, Kittle.
I got everything I need right out here in the
living room. In the living room, while you were not
talking to the milkman, I brought my old vauterbilt trunk
down out of the attic.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Oh no, you're not going out on that Elks Club stage,
and do this right.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
The old act that I am Frednant did the guy
him and I used to have at the vater all
act together from Starbrock, Illinois together did in vaudevio, and
again I used to tell them funny jokes like I'd
say to him. I'd say to Fred, I hear brother,
and he'd say, not so good. Got his arm broke
in two places, and I'd say you ought to stay
out of them places.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
Then there's a place you should stay out of too.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
That's the Elks Club. With those jokes don't too worry.
This is all proven material sirfire. When I walk out
on that stage Thursday night, I'll be the hit of
the show.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Well, let's argue that later, lapper.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
Right now, I've got to get down to the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
We won't have any dinner.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes. Don't get
into any trouble.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
While I'm gone. What do you mean trouble? What can
happen in a few minutes.
Speaker 5 (03:18):
That is a very interesting question. Why I ask myself
every time I go out, and there's always an interesting answer, winking.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
When I get back, well, you just take your time.
All I'm gonna do is try on a few of
these funny hats, my old Baudavild trunk. I wanna see
if they still fit me.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Be good.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
I'll be back un okay, Ah, there goes a good kids.
Wives may come and wives may go, but not my wife.
She's afraid to leave me alone for a minute. How
can a guy get into any trouble just looking into
an old Waterville trunk? Well, look at this, my old
Jimmy Duranty knows. Oh still fens too, un. I've got
(03:58):
a minute of them anyway. There's a whole beat up
twelve hat that I used to get fed over the
head with when the joke didn't get a laugh. Oh
those Vaudeville days. No I wanna do uh come in here.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Ain't mister?
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Oh it's you timmy an Just come on. She did it,
didn't he? She went and did it? Who did? What?
What you talking about it? Mister? Howe? You get it?
Speaker 5 (04:24):
He punched you in the mouse, just like you said
he was.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
It's all slow out. I don't nobody punched me in
the noses. This isn't mine. Other see just a piece
of cardboard like a.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Cat h.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
A sly Do you have vet?
Speaker 5 (04:40):
And we tell you I hadn't like that, so mine
now so it wouldn't get tall.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
This ain't a beezer, Bond says. It's one of the
props I used to use when I was in Vottleville
where mister vottlebil See haven't you heard of Bottleville? No,
we're only up to make it tall my jack as
he's class No, no, no, teeny bo uh vatervill Land
in the country. It's it's a show only Hey, I'll
tell you what. You sit right down, here and I'll
show you what Waterville is. Okay, Oh bye, I'm Lana Belle.
(05:04):
This will be you want to pull the too. I
got a record here someplace that I am treading it
and used to open with the car.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Here it is.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Let me turn this record player on.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Oh my lie shells matchick, you're a here a shell?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
No, I'm not not yet. When I get off stage
here to start, you can put the needle on the
record when I tell you, I'll come on to the
music you see.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Okay, okay, ready on stage music, Okay, drop the needs.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
I'm good age to.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Ladies, said many vid.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Mean thank you? Might throw thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
You know.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
A funny thing happened to me on the way to
here tonight. A man walked up to me and said, mister,
will you give me a dime for a cup of coffee?
And I said I might. Let's see the coffee. Don't
you get it to me? I said, what does that mean, messta?
What does that mean? You don't drink coffee? Dear? No?
Did he want to tellure a coffee man?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Becauts are dying.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I'm afraid this stuff's little too sophisticated for uses it's
too subtle. You're on our home and tell you're supposed
to meet the elf stub New Year's e though, if
because when I walk out on the stage and start
find them jokes at them all makes it.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
There's more fun with the McGee. Shortly, Democracy and education
go hand in hand because each depends upon the other.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
The importance of education and good schools is an.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
American tradition that goes back to the earliest days of
our nation. The fact is, our whole way of life
is based upon our public school.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
System, and in the way, our pride in our schools.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Is as important as our pride in our country. Today,
a serious situation in our schools is arising, caused by
an unprecedented increase in our population. Our schools must be
made adequate in both numbers and facilities to take care
of millions more children in many communities, New and larger
school buildings are needed, classes are crowded and they're just
darn enough teachers to do a good job, and other
(07:01):
community of school facilities are old fashioned and inadequate. It's
up to every citizen to find out just what the
conditions are in the schools in his community. If improvements
are needed.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Join with others and see that those improvements are made.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
If you need help in improving conditions, right to the
National Citizens Commission for Public Schools, New York City, New York.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Begin hom Oh, hi kiddel, you should have been here.
I've been part of my act vitima.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
How did you enjoy it?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Oh? She loved me. I told her a couple of
my surefire jokes. You should have heard that kid laugh,
liked and did she Well, you know how kids are
easiest audience in the world. Did you finish your marketing?
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Yes, I've brought along the things we'll need for tonight.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
The old timer will deliver the rest later.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Yeah, let me help them that stuff.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Well, thank you, Sezar.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Just tell me those things.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
I'll put them away salary.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
All right. You know I've been going over this whole
last of mind it is, you know, looking over these
jokes spread and I used to do corn. Some of
them may be slightly Oh okay the corn. Yeah, Oh,
here you are. I got a problem telling these jokes.
So Molly, he's dead. The trouble is, it takes two
people to tell them. You know, there are questions and
answer type jokes like I used to say to friend,
tell me Schultz Shultz. Yeah, we have probably called a
(08:17):
Meren Schultz routine. I was Meyer and he was Shultz,
you know, except during matt and as we used to
switch it around to break the monotonies. Oh, I see,
tell me Schultz. I'd say, you know what kind of
vegetable to the erase in the beer garden? After the
sea the sea routine? You see. Then he would say, no,
I don't tell me Meyer, what kind of vegetable to
erase in the beer garden? And then I'd come back
with the snapper. I'd say to me, oh, you know
(08:39):
that one, it's definitely for measure.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Then that's popcros.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
I got a lot of others. Oh just the sure fires.
That one you ruined by coming in with that snapper
before I had.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
I'm sorry, Gary, but that is an awful old joke.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
I'm still plenty of people who haven't heard it. But
that isn't my problem. My problem is I need a
good straight man I could get. I need somebody with
a kind of a hang dog expressed, you know, sad looking,
sad looking guy that'll get the audience's sympathy.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
But those he joke tails certainly have mine.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Chip me a guy with a good loud voice that
they can hear him tearing the macro. And it kind
of because.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Tres ay the old time.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
God, Gary, he's an old man. You can't run as
fast as he used to.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
All right, here's rest your groceries.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Put him down right there, old timer. I want to
talk to you.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Oh hi, Conny, Sure, what's gud your mind?
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Old timer? I'm gonna do you a great.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Big favorite God.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
Oh, you don't have to chip me, Johnny, forget it,
no sense you're going through that whole business. We're looking
through your pockets for change again.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
The last time you did that, it ended up with
me letting you a quarter. And I can't afford that
again today, So let's skip it.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
I wasn't talking about that. How'd you like to go
on the stage?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Oh not me, Johnny, I'm too old.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
I jont you, Jimmy.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
Papa used to drive the stage between Abilene and Sandy Gout.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
On the way.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
That coach used to bounce all over the road. It
was all Papa could do.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
To hang on.
Speaker 6 (09:50):
God, so we had the failures hip pockets full lead
to keep from bounce out. That's where that expression came from?
Speaker 4 (09:56):
What expression?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Next?
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Time?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Cry the praise?
Speaker 4 (10:00):
I been talking about the stage coach. I was talking
about the entertainment stage, show business.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Oh that kind of stay.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
You mean there's a business like shops the paper to
a per car do what he put it?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
That's it, perf I mean, that's it. Look, I'm gonna
do my great old bottom ale act. They'll pudge him
day New Year's Eve. And I need a good state man,
somebody to tell the jokes too.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
You were I didn't just say so, Jarny, find a
lots of them. Have you heard the one about the
fellow charge? First? Carl said, say, I got the Joe
sorrow and ibby, I just need someone to do.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Him with me. Oh, and I think with a proper coaching,
you might be the man for the gob not promised amusing.
But I'll give you a try out if you're in.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
And I said, okay, Charnie, where do we start and.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
We'll try it out on these Joe's try here. First
you read the part mark chilt, I'll be meyer us
German accent, curtcha.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Go ahead, Jarny tell me choke y'are yeah?
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Yeare you see yeah? Right anywhere.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I went, just staying along, Jarny getting in the mood.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Well, don't play along.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
That's what's on there, Okay, Johnny, go ahead.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Tell me so what kind of events supposed to be raised?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
And the beard gotton percasey, Johnny stood tomatoes.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
That's my line. You're supposed to say. I don't know, no, no,
I have no dead joke.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
Oh my wife Johnny Pobby used to tell it to
her skids all the time. Says he heard General Grant
tell it to the boys at the celebration party after
they took Richmond. Grant says he got it from Washington's memoirs.
Used to be one of Charge's favorites him and Martha's.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
On her mind.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Forget it my I'm going over to talk to herb Tavis,
he used to pull the curtain for all the school plays.
Maybe with a little coach. He heard the work on
this old funny daddy. I gotta find these statement for that.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
We'll say good night to Diver and Molly in the moment.
Christmas may be past, but the holiday spirit still prevails
across the land, and on the wonderful programs of the
NBC Radio Network, you'll hear the spirit reflected and great
radio edit.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Tomorrow night.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
For example, listen to the top comedy entertainment by that
master Marksman Groucho Mark. You Bet Your Life is Grout
Show show, and that's packed with good holiday listening. Is
Grout Show pokes fund at his contestants and offers them
opportunities to share in the prize money. We know you'll
enjoy You Bet Your Life each Wednesday evening on the
NBC Radio Network. And we know you'll also want to
be on hand for the fun filled Great Gilder Sleeve Program.
(12:23):
Willard Waterman portrays the bumbling Gilder Sleeve and the last
comes thick and fast as he waves into trouble at
Summerfield's water Commissioner. Then you're invited to sit still and
walk a mile. Sounds impossible, we know, but you can do.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
It tomorrow as you listen to Bill Cullen in the fast.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Paced Walk a Mile program. Keep your date with relaxing
radio listening and set your dial right here to this
station where you hear the familiar three mbc chi.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
He ask herb to work and you act with your
daby yep.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
I explained to him what a great act. It was,
and he was really anxious to do it, so I
write him a few of the.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Jokes I do you say that.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Don't worry, I'll find it straight man. I'll get the
right guy. Good Night, good night A.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
NBC and Toms have brought you the Fibber McGhee and
Bali program. Transcriber Bill Thompson as.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
The old timer.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
This is John Walld inviting here to be with us
again tomorrow night for another visit with Bibber McGee and Bally.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Make your kitchen chores lighter with the heartwarming shows on
the NBC Radio Network.
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