August 23, 2025 • 32 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
The National Broadcasting Tomay presents The Magnificent Montague, starring.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Marty Boy Edwin Montague.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
The Magnificent Montague, or is he modestly puts it himself?
The greatest living Shakespearean actor on the stage today is
a broken man, This paragon of the legitimate theater, This
thespian rock who sneered at anything not connected with the theater.
This man today is in radio thanks to his wife
Lily Bowen, his one time leading lady Montague, the King
(00:45):
Lear the Macbeth of yesteryear is today uncle good Heart
here all of an afternoon radio serial. It is the
morning after his first program, and he is sound asleep,
happy in the thought that the whole thing was a
horrible dream. But his wife Lily is up, determined to
keep him in radio. The pohone is ringing in the
Montague apartment. Okay, okay, don't blow your top.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
The residents of Edwin Montague and miss Lilly blame Why
mister Montague.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
He's a slave. Huh wake him up?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Me with no accident insurance?
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Who oh sure, come on over?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Who is that a tem publicity man from the radio
station to see your husband?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
They're coming right over badness. I just got him up.
He's got another program today.
Speaker 5 (01:40):
Can you see Montague having breakfast with strangers.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Looking on its Vacan's stomach that he can now, Agnes.
We've got to help Edward through this crucial period. He's
doing something entirely new.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
He's working, the magnificent Montague working. This is gonna throw
the unemployment insurance. I got the window, the whole thing
with felt the arm.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Here, Agnes, I'm so proud of him. It's unbelievable. Edwin
Montague up at eight o'clock a working man.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
A working man. Labor needs him like they need the
seven day week, Agnes.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
You'd better get his breakfast ready. He should be ready soon.
What stage is he at?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
He's calisthenics, water routine every morning.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
He gets up half hour later.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
His eyes open, then a slow shower combs his beard.
Calisthenics warms up his voice. Flack king tut, coming back
to life. They're off at rocking him.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Hurry, he's exercising his tres. Here we go roaming the
hills again. Oh hurry, here he comes.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Good morning, Darling, Oh, good morning Lily, Well darling, how
would our radio star this.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Morning, Lily don't be revolting.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Do you come dignes with your breakfast?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Good morning, uncle, you're here, And this morning I had
the most wonderful, lingering dream.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I dreamt it.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
On your way to work, you were struck by a
Steinway concert rem piano dropped from the fourteenth flour CDDINGR.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
You're sweet?
Speaker 5 (03:39):
No, no, no, no arguments at breakfast. Oh just imagine
Edwin you having breakfast in the morning, just like everybody else.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
He had drinks it, Edwins, what.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Is this dank, insipid liquid? It's orange juice. Orange juice.
I'd never heard it.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
The juice of orange is squeezed into a glass.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Why must you always be the first to try out
every new fangle can catch it on me?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
What am I a guinea pig?
Speaker 3 (04:12):
No, but you're getting warm the.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Lay when you order the domestic back to discullery.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Take it away? Bring his cornflake? What cornflake?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Cor cor?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Wouldn't be simpler just to turn me out into a pasture.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
To graze corn What am I a swine?
Speaker 4 (04:37):
And let me answer that I had my hand.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Up for.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Life has become simple for me. I live but for
one thing per day.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Off Agnes Spring Edwin's coffee.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Okay, No, then you've got to do something about Agnes.
The moment I hope my eyes the morning I'm involved
in gorilla warfare, Lily, Agnes has to go.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Don't be silly, Edwin.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
Agnes has been with us for twenty five years.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Wouldn't it be wise to get rid of her while
she has some tradeing value.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
I've never seen you so irritable. It's something on your mind.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
So out with it, Lily.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I didn't sleep a wink all night thinking about it.
I'm not going back on that that radio program now, Ede, Lily,
don't make me do it. Seeking a seat her lovers
of tomorrow when they read about me and who's the
Edwin Montague played Othello for David Velasco, Macbeth for Daniel
(05:46):
Froben Richard the Third for Charles Dillingham, and Uncle good Heart.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
For NBC Edwin.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
It's like asking ar to Tascadini to play good Night Irene.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Edwin.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
We've gone through this already. You are going to stay
in radio radio.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Oh what a rogue and peasant fool of my peasant
slave about Wins, Lily, sweetheart, I wanted to keep this
from you, but what is it, DELI?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I am not a well man. You're not. I went
to see doctor Coldwell yesterday.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
I know he phoned me.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Did he mention it?
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Yes, he was curious. He never wants you to step
into his office again.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Why not?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
You know why not? Doctor cold was a football player
at Notre Dame.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
Today, at thirty five, is in the prime of life.
Yet every time he examines you and sees the perfect
physical condition you're in, it leads in green with envy.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
That quack. I tell you, I'm a sick man, Edwin.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
How can you be sick in your entire life?
Speaker 5 (07:02):
You've never missed your fourteen hours of sleep each night,
You've never eaten anything but the finest food, and you've
never been close enough to anybody to catch anything.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Oh, Lily, I a sick man.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
Draft boards Drew. When you go by non stop acting
like a baby. You're going to be on that program
this afternoon.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
No, not radio.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
I refuse to be a part of this electronic monster
that's killed a Never.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Here's your coffee.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I hope it isn't poisoned. Don't us.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Now? N What is this nonsense about radio killing the thief?
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Nonsense?
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I read in a theater arts magazine where one afternoon
radio program has five million listeners. It's called amp Agabar
Something aunt.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Agata three to three thirty Monday through Friday, sponsored by
Saparoni Soap, the soap that takes a guess, work out
a romance.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Do you see what I mean? It's the idiot's delight.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Are these people rushing through the theater to see the
players of Shakespeare check off? And it's now it's aunt
Agatha and Agatha.
Speaker 5 (08:16):
Now you listen to me, Edwin Montague, I'm going to
be frank. The last time you worked was eight years
ago in King Lear. The play lasted two performances, but
for you, the curtain.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
Ever came down. You're still taking.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Bows of anything but radio.
Speaker 6 (08:31):
I know.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
I've tried talking pictures. I understand they're perfecting them.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
You have a contract for eight weeks. The sponsor likes you.
They're giving you two hundred dollars a week. You know
what that means?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yes, that I am selling my soul the thirty pieces
of silver. Compared to me, Judas is Carriot was a
little pussy cat.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I can't do ed when you have to, I refuse.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
To stand by and watch you waste the rest of
your life dozing in your leather chair with those dreary
hands in.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
The Proscenium club.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Now it's my theatrical club. Go ahead, Lily, you plunge
the knife into my back, Now twist it.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
I don't mind your Prosenium Club, Edwin, But must you
spend all your time there?
Speaker 2 (09:24):
And with whom shall I spend an intellectual evening? Milton
bull Darling.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
I know they're your old friends, friend, comrades and arms,
fellow soldiers, the thin red line of loyal defenders who
are keeping you alive, the last flickering flame of theatrical culture.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
But that's rather good, Edwin. Where'd you hear it.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
At the club?
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Basil Hardwick said it pity his denunciation speech against Cecil Banks.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
So they threw Cecil Banks out of the prosmium clubs.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
And why not turn coat the renegade? He took a
job in radio, Lily. If they ever find out that,
I to him, Benedict Arnold.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Oh, they can't find out you're incognito on that program.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
There can't be a word, not a hint, not a
bit of publicity. Edward Montague is uncle good heart.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
The publicity man are here.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Well, don't stand there, so the publicity man now.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Edwin this way boy, Okay, there he is your friend
and mine, Uncle good heart.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Hi, my name's Malone.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Do you want any cheesecake pictures? I'll be in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I'll be with you in a minute, mister Montague. Okay,
Harry set the camera up in that corner. Do you
mind if he moves the statue of that woman.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
That woman is mister David Garrick. That's cute. Okay, how
we get it set up? They go down the car
and bring up the live turkey. Turkey? May I inquire you, gentlemen,
just what you intend to do? Sure? Sure, here's the pitch.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
First, a few quick shots you sitting at the table
with a turkey, chure, five breaks and papers for Thanksgiving.
Get your name and face around.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Then we go after the big spreads Wednesday. We got
your book to judge your most Beautiful Baby contest. You know,
pictures of kids sprawling all over you. Little messy but
great for the out of town papers. Shows how Edwin
Montague puts the heart and uncle good hoots.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
You get it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Then we hack out a few stories for the columns
how radio took Edwin Montague, a little known actor out
of obscurity and put them in a public eye.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Stuff like that. Yeah. Then we take you round so
you're seeing.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
It all the best places, the roller derby hockey games,
the fights at Saint Nick's, lady referee little wrestling.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Then we hit the fan magazines, mister and missus, Uncle
good hearts, show marriage can be fun. Then hobby stuff,
pictures of you ski jumping, building a boat in the box.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Then after that's some gag pictures, you know, down at
Stellman's gym, going a few rounds with Rocky Graziano, Partono
Wi Parsonohile, with the show girls at the Latin Quarter,
you know, human interest. Yeah, while that is just about
the first phase of my campaign, it is.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah. Good.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Now you tell me what you're going to do for me.
May I tell you what I'm going to do for you? Okay, First,
I am going to spit in your eyes.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Then I'm real to smash your camera with tripod over
your head.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Then I'm going to tenderly lift your unconscious buddy, take
it to the window and drop it out. Then I
know you rush downstairs to the sidewalk in the hope
of variety, Bess simultaneous, stay with your body, and then
I will proceed to stamp out of the side of
life that might remain your miserable, detestable cock. And that's, sir,
(13:02):
will be the first phase in my campaign.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
I don't understand that.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
All you have to understand is this one word, one syllable,
one indication ever leaks out, and Edwin, mother, you is
in radio. I shall track you down to the darkest
corner of the pool room you are obviously living.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
In out right the camera hell out camp. That felt good.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
Well, now that you've had your raw meat for the day,
here's your coat. You have to get the studio for
your radio program.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Lily, give me one more chance.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I'll do anything. I'll be parts, I'll carry a spear.
I know I'll go to see the shoemas right away.
By tomorrow I'll be on the road in the stupid
Prince dream, could dream, could dream.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Your hearts and Edwin, here's your coat.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Lily wears your heart. You who have played Porsche in
the Merchant of Vince, have you forgotten the quality of
mercy is nutstee It followeth as a gentle drop droppers
as a gentleman. Juffith is a gent Here is your coat.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
There is no other way.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Here is your coat.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Thanks you, goodbye, Lily, goodbye, I holcome good heart away.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
The mind has relied for duffy Tavern.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
The welcome mat is out of Duffy's Tavern, and your
host will be the young grammatical Archie played by Ed Gardner.
Duffy won't be there as usual, but he will be
represented by his undeniably charming daughter, Miss Duffy, Clifton Finnigan
and Eddie the Waiter will also be on a the
join in the Mischief, which Archie will undoubtedly cook up
as the chimes of urine attention. The top Friday Evening
(15:01):
listening later tonight with Duffy's Tavern over most of these
NBC stations, and a reminder This Sunday on NBC, It's
the Big Show once again, an hour and a half
of the best in comedy, music and drama. And I'll
(15:22):
back to the magnificent Matahue. We find him on the air,
just finishing up his Uncle good Heart program. Let's listen,
Oh Uncle.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Good Heart, what you have told me has made me
realize that I've been a spoiled, selfish girl.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
I shall never doubt Ronald again.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Good.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Yes, thanks to you, Clariss and I are going away
to build a new life together in Pittsburgh.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Good we're leaving today, Uncle good Heart. Won't you come
and live with us?
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
No, no, my children by places here in my little cut.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Ridge, on the sunny side of the lane, where I
can help other weary wayfellows along the road to life.
So ends another episode of Uncle Goodheart, brought to you
(16:22):
by Shalamarch Soap.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
And there is Uncle Goodheart with his thought for the day.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
When the waves are high, and the rain is hard,
and the wintry breezes blow, and the stranger stands in
the teeth of the gale. Won't you step up and
say hello? Okay, that's Montague, We're off the air.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
There must be a limit to what the human stomach
can endure.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
The somatic you mantcu you remember.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Me, muster by mister Springer, the producer. You did it again.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
The sponsor was crazy about it, asked mister Sinsa, our director.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
It's French boyd is jammed with carls a lama.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
A sponsor wants a testimonial from you about Shalimar soap
do very well. Uncle good Heart says that after each
broadcast he uses a cake of Schalliba's soap to wash
out his mouth. Mister Montacue, you don't understand what you've done.
You're a sensation, I am. Do you know what you've
(17:41):
done to aunt Agatha? I warn you, I will deny it.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Listen to him. Mister Sinsa.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Here you are are only the second program, and you've
already stolen a million listeners away from Antegaba.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
She's on the air directly opposite.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
You, miss listen a million. You have four million listening?
Four million listener? You mean when I talked to you
that perforated little box. Four millions? You'll be ten million
before we're through. We'll drive my Baga off the air,
ten million listeners. My entire stage career, playing the standing
(18:21):
room only, I have never been heard by even one billion,
and here in fifteen minutes, ten million people. Macy's Mazy,
(18:46):
Your coffee is small. Good morning, lily Ah, You've got
my orange juice and cornflakes ready, gum Dum vibe star.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Where you go ahead? Ed when I'm starting your mail?
Imagine only one month on the air, and look, five
hundred letters this morning alone.
Speaker 6 (19:06):
Amazing, amazing?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
What's funny? Dear?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
This letter here from a lady and sheboygan wiscrdstance.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
Listen, Dear Uncle good Heart, I am in love with
an unemployed paper hanger. My parents want me to marry
the manager of an A and P store. Dear Uncle
good Heart, what shall I do?
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Marry?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
For love or money? What is so funny about?
Speaker 5 (19:33):
Ed?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Because a poor, confused young lady tells to the only
person she has faith in, the one voice on the
ear she feels a friend.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Is this something to laugh at? Edly, Lily, I am
shocked at your callousness. Eden.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
I felt this coming on, but I was afraid to
admit it, even to myself. Edwin Montague, you're taking this,
Uncle good Heart seriously, Lily.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
The whole thing seems to escape you.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
You.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
I don't need to understand what's happened. I took a cold,
shapeless character on a piece of paper, breathed life into it.
I give you depth, understanding, sympathy, ed When what's happened
to you? Lilai? This is nineteen hundred and fifty. You
must keep up with progress. I tell you the La
radio is the coming thing.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
That's the coming thing.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yes, and I think my lucky stars that I had
the foresight to get in on the bottom floor. Please
there the subject disclosed, Agnes. Yes, uncle, would you be
so kind as to remove that saparone soap from my bathroom?
Speaker 5 (20:38):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Now, really, edw must the first thing that greets my
eye every morning? Have to remind me of that?
Speaker 5 (20:44):
I got the oh no, you're not starting on a
d agatha again, edwhen you're you success with ten million
panting listeners.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
And I went up to eleven million. Eleven million drooling
morons would rather listen to that horrible creature. I'm the
first truly artistic program in radio, Uncle Goodharth Edwin the lay.
I had never hated anyone before, but this Harreton, this slacker,
and this tear jerky female imbecile, she's she's corrupting the nation, Edward.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
I can't understand you.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Of course you can't really, but it's not your fault.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
You're cooped up in your office at the Women bird
Watchers of America. You're out of touch with modern livy.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
Ed When I retired from the stage, joining the women
bird watches of America gave me a new interest in life.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
And you have your work. I have mine, I know.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
But if you could only see how radio works. Can't
you take just this one afternoon off from your bird
watchers and see one of my broadcasts.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
I can't thee especially not now. The office is in
an uproar. The starlings are leaving for the south.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Well, let somebody else wave goodbye.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
I'm sorry, Edwin, so I'll guess it. Hello one moment.
He hain'ts being you, Edwin, it's Malone, the publicity man.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
I'll give me that phone.
Speaker 6 (22:12):
Belone.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
You're lying. Get speak of a worm.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Why wasn't Uncle Goodhart mentioned in Winschle's column this week?
And where were those big newspaper breaks you said I'd
get yesterday four o'clock in the morning. I'd dragged myself
down to the fut and fish market, the Crown miss
salt shell crab. All I see in the papers I
mentioned the d Agatha Malone, Get on the ball. Let's
(22:39):
see the action. Not one line in the morning paper.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Ed When all this publicity. What if the Senium club
finds out?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Oh, not a chance. It's all in the name of
Uncle Goodhart. No pictures.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I've taken every precaution at Radio City, I used the
freight elevator.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Well, I might as well show this letter to you now.
It's from job as president of the Psenium Club.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Oh no, wants to see me to day, Lily. They
couldn't have found out. They couldn't have found out. Good afternoon,
(23:27):
mister Murdy, Hello Henry here, let me take your coach here.
You're getting to be quite a stranger here at the
Priscenium Club. Busy rehears near Shakespeare play. I presume it's Shakespeare.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Not quite? Not quite?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Did mister Jarvis ben? Oh, yeah, he's expected. Mister Jervis,
mister Montacue.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Hello Jovis Montague. Mmm, Montague, the two brutus. What's wrong?
I thought you'd be the last?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Montague is the very last able to betray the ideals
of the theater.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
We prosceniums lived by Jarvis. You you mean you know? Yes?
How did you find her?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Guy?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Teasdale saw her? Jarvis. I had to do it. I
was broken her. Who's her? Your wife? Lily?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
What about Lily Montague? How could you permit her to
be seen every afternoon with that rennigade that the traitor
of the theater, Cecil Banks. Cecil Banks, Why was it
ten minutes ago she was seen again having a drink
with them on a non descript bar ten minutes ago.
To heart, that's ridiculous right this moment, my wife is
dizzy in the office of the Women Birdwatchers of America.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
You're you sure? Sure?
Speaker 1 (24:49):
In fact, I'll telephone her now and let her talk
to you. Where's a telephone? But you here? Yeah, Women
Beagle Breeders Association, Women Bowlers of Mount Kisco. Here are
women bird Watches about America Circle fire at a bar
(25:12):
with Cecil Hello, Hello, Women bird Watches of America. I'm
a starling. I just phoned to say goodbye. Oh no,
now I'm joking. Now, please speak to your recording sector
in Miss Lilli Boy better known as missus Edwin Montacue.
(25:35):
What No one by that name has ever been associated
with your organization for three long years, it's been Cecil Banks.
(25:57):
The husband is the last to normal.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
I've been portrayed him small by a waterfool. Oh it
is kind of catchy, isn't it, Agnes, Oh, it's.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Real, gone.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Say for a woman whose husband didn't come home last night.
You're see him in a cheerful mood.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Well, Henry called, Edwin stayed at the club last night. Oh,
it's good to see him take an interest in the
theater again.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
He was going overboard on. Uncle, good hat, I'll get
the door. Ah, here's uncle. Now.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Morning Agnes, Lily, good morning, darling, she's seen.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
Did you have a good night's sleep, sweetheart? Sleep Agnes?
Will you make some more coffee? Coffee?
Speaker 2 (27:07):
All right?
Speaker 4 (27:07):
And what's made you so depressed? Were you snubbed by
young widow Brown? What's wrong?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Wrong? Nothing at all.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
You must have had a big day at the office yesterday,
what with the starlings and all that.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Oh yes, I couldn't even get out for luncheon.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Oh frail tis my name is woman.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Ven for heaven's sake, what's upsetting you?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Sorry, my dear, it is rather old fashionable in these
modern times. Just show such emotion, just because just because
my wife has found.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Another man, another man mad.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
All these years would fallow rather than hear her calling lies.
These same years that heard the real recording secretary of
the Women Birds say that missus Edwin Montague was never
a member of their organization.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
Oh that well, you see the bird watch? Did I
go to the name of Lily boyin.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Lily old Grave, Ferriesty Victory, Lily, stop lying. You've never
been in that office, and for three years it's been
another another man? Did you or did you not meet?
Candestinely esteal a cheap little bar with Cecil Banks. It
(28:32):
was the cheap little barlebrace the mean Todd tree, aspected
it of Edwin Montague. How dare you intimate a thing
like that?
Speaker 4 (28:42):
Because I happened to meet tested on the street and
he bought me a drink?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Do you deny this? In the last three years you've
been lying to be about where you were? Worry afternoon
now and you die? There's another an, yes, and explain
those three years to me, Edwin, don't ask me to.
I want the true Lily, for Heaven's sake. What were
you doing ever? We Aterno? The last three years?
Speaker 4 (29:07):
All right, Edwin? You asked for it?
Speaker 6 (29:11):
Well, I'm aunt Agatha, Oh no, Lily, not.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
That, yes, please please? Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Oh say you've been seeing another man, say special Banks,
any man anything would add Agatha? Oh please?
Speaker 4 (29:33):
Oh not that when I'm at Agathas, But just for
another time.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Oh what do you mean, just another two weeks and
Agatha's going off the air. I did, yeah, oh what
a Shay's good little program, A good little program. And
you did a little wonderful job on the Sweetheart. But
I don't understand giving up to such a successful radio program.
(29:59):
But they're not giving up. We're going on television. Spot smart, Yes,
I think so. Yes, good idea, Well, dear, that will
lead you king of the afternoon airlanes. So the main thing, Darling,
is that we're still together, Sweetheart, sweetheart, that's my little
(30:21):
Lily say. I'm hungry, Agnes corn flakes for two years.
Oh by the way, Lily, Yes, could you explain one
thing to me? Yes, Edwin, just what is television? Join
(30:46):
us again next Friday, same time, same station for another
visit with a magnificent Montague starring Marty Wallly, written and
directed by Nap Hiking. Lily boy Aim is played by
Anne Seymour. Agnes is played by Pert Kelton. All Also
heard today were Johnny Gibson, John Griggs, Art Carney, Gavin Gordon,
Anita Anton and Bob Hastings. Jack Ward was at the
(31:07):
organ Your announcer Don Pardo three times mean good times
on NBC. There's fun and laughs with the chimes tonight,
when Duffy's Tavern goes on the air as usual, Duffy
(31:30):
won't be there, but Archie played by Ed Gardner will
definitely be on d to spread his doubtful advice where
it does the most damage. And of course Archie's colleagues
in comedy, Miss Duffy, Clifton, Finnegan and Eddie the Waiter
will all be around to be wilder poor Archie. And
the reminder for mystery, it's the Man called X on
Saturday Nights.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
The preceding was transcribed. Now join the gang at Duffy's
Tavern on NBC.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
OH
The National Broadcasting Tomay presents The Magnificent Montague, starring.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Marty Boy Edwin Montague.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
The Magnificent Montague, or is he modestly puts it himself?
The greatest living Shakespearean actor on the stage today is
a broken man, This paragon of the legitimate theater, This
thespian rock who sneered at anything not connected with the theater.
This man today is in radio thanks to his wife
Lily Bowen, his one time leading lady Montague, the King
(00:45):
Lear the Macbeth of yesteryear is today uncle good Heart
here all of an afternoon radio serial. It is the
morning after his first program, and he is sound asleep,
happy in the thought that the whole thing was a
horrible dream. But his wife Lily is up, determined to
keep him in radio. The pohone is ringing in the
Montague apartment. Okay, okay, don't blow your top.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
The residents of Edwin Montague and miss Lilly blame Why
mister Montague.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
He's a slave. Huh wake him up?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Me with no accident insurance?
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Who oh sure, come on over?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Who is that a tem publicity man from the radio
station to see your husband?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
They're coming right over badness. I just got him up.
He's got another program today.
Speaker 5 (01:40):
Can you see Montague having breakfast with strangers.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Looking on its Vacan's stomach that he can now, Agnes.
We've got to help Edward through this crucial period. He's
doing something entirely new.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
He's working, the magnificent Montague working. This is gonna throw
the unemployment insurance. I got the window, the whole thing
with felt the arm.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Here, Agnes, I'm so proud of him. It's unbelievable. Edwin
Montague up at eight o'clock a working man.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
A working man. Labor needs him like they need the
seven day week, Agnes.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
You'd better get his breakfast ready. He should be ready soon.
What stage is he at?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
He's calisthenics, water routine every morning.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
He gets up half hour later.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
His eyes open, then a slow shower combs his beard.
Calisthenics warms up his voice. Flack king tut, coming back
to life. They're off at rocking him.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Hurry, he's exercising his tres. Here we go roaming the
hills again. Oh hurry, here he comes.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Good morning, Darling, Oh, good morning Lily, Well darling, how
would our radio star this.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Morning, Lily don't be revolting.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Do you come dignes with your breakfast?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Good morning, uncle, you're here, And this morning I had
the most wonderful, lingering dream.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I dreamt it.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
On your way to work, you were struck by a
Steinway concert rem piano dropped from the fourteenth flour CDDINGR.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
You're sweet?
Speaker 5 (03:39):
No, no, no, no arguments at breakfast. Oh just imagine
Edwin you having breakfast in the morning, just like everybody else.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
He had drinks it, Edwins, what.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Is this dank, insipid liquid? It's orange juice. Orange juice.
I'd never heard it.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
The juice of orange is squeezed into a glass.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Why must you always be the first to try out
every new fangle can catch it on me?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
What am I a guinea pig?
Speaker 3 (04:12):
No, but you're getting warm the.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Lay when you order the domestic back to discullery.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Take it away? Bring his cornflake? What cornflake?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Cor cor?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Wouldn't be simpler just to turn me out into a pasture.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
To graze corn What am I a swine?
Speaker 4 (04:37):
And let me answer that I had my hand.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Up for.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Life has become simple for me. I live but for
one thing per day.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Off Agnes Spring Edwin's coffee.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Okay, No, then you've got to do something about Agnes.
The moment I hope my eyes the morning I'm involved
in gorilla warfare, Lily, Agnes has to go.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Don't be silly, Edwin.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
Agnes has been with us for twenty five years.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Wouldn't it be wise to get rid of her while
she has some tradeing value.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
I've never seen you so irritable. It's something on your mind.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
So out with it, Lily.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I didn't sleep a wink all night thinking about it.
I'm not going back on that that radio program now, Ede, Lily,
don't make me do it. Seeking a seat her lovers
of tomorrow when they read about me and who's the
Edwin Montague played Othello for David Velasco, Macbeth for Daniel
(05:46):
Froben Richard the Third for Charles Dillingham, and Uncle good Heart.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
For NBC Edwin.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
It's like asking ar to Tascadini to play good Night Irene.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Edwin.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
We've gone through this already. You are going to stay
in radio radio.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Oh what a rogue and peasant fool of my peasant
slave about Wins, Lily, sweetheart, I wanted to keep this
from you, but what is it, DELI?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I am not a well man. You're not. I went
to see doctor Coldwell yesterday.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
I know he phoned me.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Did he mention it?
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Yes, he was curious. He never wants you to step
into his office again.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Why not?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
You know why not? Doctor cold was a football player
at Notre Dame.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
Today, at thirty five, is in the prime of life.
Yet every time he examines you and sees the perfect
physical condition you're in, it leads in green with envy.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
That quack. I tell you, I'm a sick man, Edwin.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
How can you be sick in your entire life?
Speaker 5 (07:02):
You've never missed your fourteen hours of sleep each night,
You've never eaten anything but the finest food, and you've
never been close enough to anybody to catch anything.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Oh, Lily, I a sick man.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
Draft boards Drew. When you go by non stop acting
like a baby. You're going to be on that program
this afternoon.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
No, not radio.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
I refuse to be a part of this electronic monster
that's killed a Never.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Here's your coffee.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I hope it isn't poisoned. Don't us.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Now? N What is this nonsense about radio killing the thief?
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Nonsense?
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I read in a theater arts magazine where one afternoon
radio program has five million listeners. It's called amp Agabar
Something aunt.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Agata three to three thirty Monday through Friday, sponsored by
Saparoni Soap, the soap that takes a guess, work out
a romance.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Do you see what I mean? It's the idiot's delight.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Are these people rushing through the theater to see the
players of Shakespeare check off? And it's now it's aunt
Agatha and Agatha.
Speaker 5 (08:16):
Now you listen to me, Edwin Montague, I'm going to
be frank. The last time you worked was eight years
ago in King Lear. The play lasted two performances, but
for you, the curtain.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
Ever came down. You're still taking.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Bows of anything but radio.
Speaker 6 (08:31):
I know.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
I've tried talking pictures. I understand they're perfecting them.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
You have a contract for eight weeks. The sponsor likes you.
They're giving you two hundred dollars a week. You know
what that means?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yes, that I am selling my soul the thirty pieces
of silver. Compared to me, Judas is Carriot was a
little pussy cat.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I can't do ed when you have to, I refuse.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
To stand by and watch you waste the rest of
your life dozing in your leather chair with those dreary
hands in.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
The Proscenium club.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Now it's my theatrical club. Go ahead, Lily, you plunge
the knife into my back, Now twist it.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
I don't mind your Prosenium Club, Edwin, But must you
spend all your time there?
Speaker 2 (09:24):
And with whom shall I spend an intellectual evening? Milton
bull Darling.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
I know they're your old friends, friend, comrades and arms,
fellow soldiers, the thin red line of loyal defenders who
are keeping you alive, the last flickering flame of theatrical culture.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
But that's rather good, Edwin. Where'd you hear it.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
At the club?
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Basil Hardwick said it pity his denunciation speech against Cecil Banks.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
So they threw Cecil Banks out of the prosmium clubs.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
And why not turn coat the renegade? He took a
job in radio, Lily. If they ever find out that,
I to him, Benedict Arnold.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Oh, they can't find out you're incognito on that program.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
There can't be a word, not a hint, not a
bit of publicity. Edward Montague is uncle good heart.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
The publicity man are here.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Well, don't stand there, so the publicity man now.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Edwin this way boy, Okay, there he is your friend
and mine, Uncle good heart.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Hi, my name's Malone.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Do you want any cheesecake pictures? I'll be in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I'll be with you in a minute, mister Montague. Okay,
Harry set the camera up in that corner. Do you
mind if he moves the statue of that woman.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
That woman is mister David Garrick. That's cute. Okay, how
we get it set up? They go down the car
and bring up the live turkey. Turkey? May I inquire you, gentlemen,
just what you intend to do? Sure? Sure, here's the pitch.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
First, a few quick shots you sitting at the table
with a turkey, chure, five breaks and papers for Thanksgiving.
Get your name and face around.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Then we go after the big spreads Wednesday. We got
your book to judge your most Beautiful Baby contest. You know,
pictures of kids sprawling all over you. Little messy but
great for the out of town papers. Shows how Edwin
Montague puts the heart and uncle good hoots.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
You get it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Then we hack out a few stories for the columns
how radio took Edwin Montague, a little known actor out
of obscurity and put them in a public eye.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Stuff like that. Yeah. Then we take you round so
you're seeing.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
It all the best places, the roller derby hockey games,
the fights at Saint Nick's, lady referee little wrestling.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Then we hit the fan magazines, mister and missus, Uncle
good hearts, show marriage can be fun. Then hobby stuff,
pictures of you ski jumping, building a boat in the box.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Then after that's some gag pictures, you know, down at
Stellman's gym, going a few rounds with Rocky Graziano, Partono
Wi Parsonohile, with the show girls at the Latin Quarter,
you know, human interest. Yeah, while that is just about
the first phase of my campaign, it is.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah. Good.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Now you tell me what you're going to do for me.
May I tell you what I'm going to do for you? Okay, First,
I am going to spit in your eyes.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Then I'm real to smash your camera with tripod over
your head.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Then I'm going to tenderly lift your unconscious buddy, take
it to the window and drop it out. Then I
know you rush downstairs to the sidewalk in the hope
of variety, Bess simultaneous, stay with your body, and then
I will proceed to stamp out of the side of
life that might remain your miserable, detestable cock. And that's, sir,
(13:02):
will be the first phase in my campaign.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
I don't understand that.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
All you have to understand is this one word, one syllable,
one indication ever leaks out, and Edwin, mother, you is
in radio. I shall track you down to the darkest
corner of the pool room you are obviously living.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
In out right the camera hell out camp. That felt good.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
Well, now that you've had your raw meat for the day,
here's your coat. You have to get the studio for
your radio program.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Lily, give me one more chance.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I'll do anything. I'll be parts, I'll carry a spear.
I know I'll go to see the shoemas right away.
By tomorrow I'll be on the road in the stupid
Prince dream, could dream, could dream.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Your hearts and Edwin, here's your coat.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Lily wears your heart. You who have played Porsche in
the Merchant of Vince, have you forgotten the quality of
mercy is nutstee It followeth as a gentle drop droppers
as a gentleman. Juffith is a gent Here is your coat.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
There is no other way.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Here is your coat.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Thanks you, goodbye, Lily, goodbye, I holcome good heart away.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
The mind has relied for duffy Tavern.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
The welcome mat is out of Duffy's Tavern, and your
host will be the young grammatical Archie played by Ed Gardner.
Duffy won't be there as usual, but he will be
represented by his undeniably charming daughter, Miss Duffy, Clifton Finnigan
and Eddie the Waiter will also be on a the
join in the Mischief, which Archie will undoubtedly cook up
as the chimes of urine attention. The top Friday Evening
(15:01):
listening later tonight with Duffy's Tavern over most of these
NBC stations, and a reminder This Sunday on NBC, It's
the Big Show once again, an hour and a half
of the best in comedy, music and drama. And I'll
(15:22):
back to the magnificent Matahue. We find him on the air,
just finishing up his Uncle good Heart program. Let's listen,
Oh Uncle.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Good Heart, what you have told me has made me
realize that I've been a spoiled, selfish girl.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
I shall never doubt Ronald again.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Good.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Yes, thanks to you, Clariss and I are going away
to build a new life together in Pittsburgh.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Good we're leaving today, Uncle good Heart. Won't you come
and live with us?
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
No, no, my children by places here in my little cut.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Ridge, on the sunny side of the lane, where I
can help other weary wayfellows along the road to life.
So ends another episode of Uncle Goodheart, brought to you
(16:22):
by Shalamarch Soap.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
And there is Uncle Goodheart with his thought for the day.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
When the waves are high, and the rain is hard,
and the wintry breezes blow, and the stranger stands in
the teeth of the gale. Won't you step up and
say hello? Okay, that's Montague, We're off the air.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
There must be a limit to what the human stomach
can endure.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
The somatic you mantcu you remember.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Me, muster by mister Springer, the producer. You did it again.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
The sponsor was crazy about it, asked mister Sinsa, our director.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
It's French boyd is jammed with carls a lama.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
A sponsor wants a testimonial from you about Shalimar soap
do very well. Uncle good Heart says that after each
broadcast he uses a cake of Schalliba's soap to wash
out his mouth. Mister Montacue, you don't understand what you've done.
You're a sensation, I am. Do you know what you've
(17:41):
done to aunt Agatha? I warn you, I will deny it.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Listen to him. Mister Sinsa.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Here you are are only the second program, and you've
already stolen a million listeners away from Antegaba.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
She's on the air directly opposite.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
You, miss listen a million. You have four million listening?
Four million listener? You mean when I talked to you
that perforated little box. Four millions? You'll be ten million
before we're through. We'll drive my Baga off the air,
ten million listeners. My entire stage career, playing the standing
(18:21):
room only, I have never been heard by even one billion,
and here in fifteen minutes, ten million people. Macy's Mazy,
(18:46):
Your coffee is small. Good morning, lily Ah, You've got
my orange juice and cornflakes ready, gum Dum vibe star.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Where you go ahead? Ed when I'm starting your mail?
Imagine only one month on the air, and look, five
hundred letters this morning alone.
Speaker 6 (19:06):
Amazing, amazing?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
What's funny? Dear?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
This letter here from a lady and sheboygan wiscrdstance.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
Listen, Dear Uncle good Heart, I am in love with
an unemployed paper hanger. My parents want me to marry
the manager of an A and P store. Dear Uncle
good Heart, what shall I do?
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Marry?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
For love or money? What is so funny about?
Speaker 5 (19:33):
Ed?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Because a poor, confused young lady tells to the only
person she has faith in, the one voice on the
ear she feels a friend.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Is this something to laugh at? Edly, Lily, I am
shocked at your callousness. Eden.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
I felt this coming on, but I was afraid to
admit it, even to myself. Edwin Montague, you're taking this,
Uncle good Heart seriously, Lily.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
The whole thing seems to escape you.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
You.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
I don't need to understand what's happened. I took a cold,
shapeless character on a piece of paper, breathed life into it.
I give you depth, understanding, sympathy, ed When what's happened
to you? Lilai? This is nineteen hundred and fifty. You
must keep up with progress. I tell you the La
radio is the coming thing.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
That's the coming thing.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yes, and I think my lucky stars that I had
the foresight to get in on the bottom floor. Please
there the subject disclosed, Agnes. Yes, uncle, would you be
so kind as to remove that saparone soap from my bathroom?
Speaker 5 (20:38):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Now, really, edw must the first thing that greets my
eye every morning? Have to remind me of that?
Speaker 5 (20:44):
I got the oh no, you're not starting on a
d agatha again, edwhen you're you success with ten million
panting listeners.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
And I went up to eleven million. Eleven million drooling
morons would rather listen to that horrible creature. I'm the
first truly artistic program in radio, Uncle Goodharth Edwin the lay.
I had never hated anyone before, but this Harreton, this slacker,
and this tear jerky female imbecile, she's she's corrupting the nation, Edward.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
I can't understand you.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Of course you can't really, but it's not your fault.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
You're cooped up in your office at the Women bird
Watchers of America. You're out of touch with modern livy.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
Ed When I retired from the stage, joining the women
bird watches of America gave me a new interest in life.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
And you have your work. I have mine, I know.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
But if you could only see how radio works. Can't
you take just this one afternoon off from your bird
watchers and see one of my broadcasts.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
I can't thee especially not now. The office is in
an uproar. The starlings are leaving for the south.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Well, let somebody else wave goodbye.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
I'm sorry, Edwin, so I'll guess it. Hello one moment.
He hain'ts being you, Edwin, it's Malone, the publicity man.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
I'll give me that phone.
Speaker 6 (22:12):
Belone.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
You're lying. Get speak of a worm.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Why wasn't Uncle Goodhart mentioned in Winschle's column this week?
And where were those big newspaper breaks you said I'd
get yesterday four o'clock in the morning. I'd dragged myself
down to the fut and fish market, the Crown miss
salt shell crab. All I see in the papers I
mentioned the d Agatha Malone, Get on the ball. Let's
(22:39):
see the action. Not one line in the morning paper.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Ed When all this publicity. What if the Senium club
finds out?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Oh, not a chance. It's all in the name of
Uncle Goodhart. No pictures.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I've taken every precaution at Radio City, I used the
freight elevator.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Well, I might as well show this letter to you now.
It's from job as president of the Psenium Club.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Oh no, wants to see me to day, Lily. They
couldn't have found out. They couldn't have found out. Good afternoon,
(23:27):
mister Murdy, Hello Henry here, let me take your coach here.
You're getting to be quite a stranger here at the
Priscenium Club. Busy rehears near Shakespeare play. I presume it's Shakespeare.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Not quite? Not quite?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Did mister Jarvis ben? Oh, yeah, he's expected. Mister Jervis,
mister Montacue.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Hello Jovis Montague. Mmm, Montague, the two brutus. What's wrong?
I thought you'd be the last?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Montague is the very last able to betray the ideals
of the theater.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
We prosceniums lived by Jarvis. You you mean you know? Yes?
How did you find her?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Guy?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Teasdale saw her? Jarvis. I had to do it. I
was broken her. Who's her? Your wife? Lily?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
What about Lily Montague? How could you permit her to
be seen every afternoon with that rennigade that the traitor
of the theater, Cecil Banks. Cecil Banks, Why was it
ten minutes ago she was seen again having a drink
with them on a non descript bar ten minutes ago.
To heart, that's ridiculous right this moment, my wife is
dizzy in the office of the Women Birdwatchers of America.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
You're you sure? Sure?
Speaker 1 (24:49):
In fact, I'll telephone her now and let her talk
to you. Where's a telephone? But you here? Yeah, Women
Beagle Breeders Association, Women Bowlers of Mount Kisco. Here are
women bird Watches about America Circle fire at a bar
(25:12):
with Cecil Hello, Hello, Women bird Watches of America. I'm
a starling. I just phoned to say goodbye. Oh no,
now I'm joking. Now, please speak to your recording sector
in Miss Lilli Boy better known as missus Edwin Montacue.
(25:35):
What No one by that name has ever been associated
with your organization for three long years, it's been Cecil Banks.
(25:57):
The husband is the last to normal.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
I've been portrayed him small by a waterfool. Oh it
is kind of catchy, isn't it, Agnes, Oh, it's.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Real, gone.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Say for a woman whose husband didn't come home last night.
You're see him in a cheerful mood.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Well, Henry called, Edwin stayed at the club last night. Oh,
it's good to see him take an interest in the
theater again.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
He was going overboard on. Uncle, good hat, I'll get
the door. Ah, here's uncle. Now.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Morning Agnes, Lily, good morning, darling, she's seen.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
Did you have a good night's sleep, sweetheart? Sleep Agnes?
Will you make some more coffee? Coffee?
Speaker 2 (27:07):
All right?
Speaker 4 (27:07):
And what's made you so depressed? Were you snubbed by
young widow Brown? What's wrong?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Wrong? Nothing at all.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
You must have had a big day at the office yesterday,
what with the starlings and all that.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Oh yes, I couldn't even get out for luncheon.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Oh frail tis my name is woman.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Ven for heaven's sake, what's upsetting you?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Sorry, my dear, it is rather old fashionable in these
modern times. Just show such emotion, just because just because
my wife has found.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Another man, another man mad.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
All these years would fallow rather than hear her calling lies.
These same years that heard the real recording secretary of
the Women Birds say that missus Edwin Montague was never
a member of their organization.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
Oh that well, you see the bird watch? Did I
go to the name of Lily boyin.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Lily old Grave, Ferriesty Victory, Lily, stop lying. You've never
been in that office, and for three years it's been
another another man? Did you or did you not meet?
Candestinely esteal a cheap little bar with Cecil Banks. It
(28:32):
was the cheap little barlebrace the mean Todd tree, aspected
it of Edwin Montague. How dare you intimate a thing
like that?
Speaker 4 (28:42):
Because I happened to meet tested on the street and
he bought me a drink?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Do you deny this? In the last three years you've
been lying to be about where you were? Worry afternoon
now and you die? There's another an, yes, and explain
those three years to me, Edwin, don't ask me to.
I want the true Lily, for Heaven's sake. What were
you doing ever? We Aterno? The last three years?
Speaker 4 (29:07):
All right, Edwin? You asked for it?
Speaker 6 (29:11):
Well, I'm aunt Agatha, Oh no, Lily, not.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
That, yes, please please? Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Oh say you've been seeing another man, say special Banks,
any man anything would add Agatha? Oh please?
Speaker 4 (29:33):
Oh not that when I'm at Agathas, But just for
another time.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Oh what do you mean, just another two weeks and
Agatha's going off the air. I did, yeah, oh what
a Shay's good little program, A good little program. And
you did a little wonderful job on the Sweetheart. But
I don't understand giving up to such a successful radio program.
(29:59):
But they're not giving up. We're going on television. Spot smart, Yes,
I think so. Yes, good idea, Well, dear, that will
lead you king of the afternoon airlanes. So the main thing, Darling,
is that we're still together, Sweetheart, sweetheart, that's my little
(30:21):
Lily say. I'm hungry, Agnes corn flakes for two years.
Oh by the way, Lily, Yes, could you explain one
thing to me? Yes, Edwin, just what is television? Join
(30:46):
us again next Friday, same time, same station for another
visit with a magnificent Montague starring Marty Wallly, written and
directed by Nap Hiking. Lily boy Aim is played by
Anne Seymour. Agnes is played by Pert Kelton. All Also
heard today were Johnny Gibson, John Griggs, Art Carney, Gavin Gordon,
Anita Anton and Bob Hastings. Jack Ward was at the
(31:07):
organ Your announcer Don Pardo three times mean good times
on NBC. There's fun and laughs with the chimes tonight,
when Duffy's Tavern goes on the air as usual, Duffy
(31:30):
won't be there, but Archie played by Ed Gardner will
definitely be on d to spread his doubtful advice where
it does the most damage. And of course Archie's colleagues
in comedy, Miss Duffy, Clifton, Finnegan and Eddie the Waiter
will all be around to be wilder poor Archie. And
the reminder for mystery, it's the Man called X on
Saturday Nights.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
The preceding was transcribed. Now join the gang at Duffy's
Tavern on NBC.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
OH
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