#16 - How To Deal With a School Bully!

Dom has got a bully problem at his son's school... but this does mean that the lads reveal their childhood nicknames! Also, Tom reflects on his 'Greek Easter' and 'No Filter Phil' is back!

All of pur episodes can be watched over on our brand new YouTube channel. Just search 'Tom & Dom's Manhood'

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Oh mate, I've been to a fitness class today and
I'm absolutely done in like everything, especially my legs are killing.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
A bit of aerobics.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
No, it was like it was called total Fit and
it to be honest, I booked it a week ago
because there's a little gym where I live and it
said classes almost every day of the week. So I
was like, brilliant, I need this. I'll take Teddy as well,
because Teddy can do it and it'll be good. Teddy
came with me.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
The kid's loud.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
He did really well. Yeah, yeah, they've just got to league.
I think legally use lighter weights because they're still developing.
But anyway, he did really well. So I booked it
with that thinking. I was just like, yeah, I'm going
to do two a week. I'm going to become buff.
And I looked at the description five minutes before I
set off to the class today and it said our
most intense class, non stop forty five minutes, ten exercises,

(01:15):
three reps of each, Like, oh my god, I am oh.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
It sounds like circuit training. It was.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
It was very similar to circuit training, apart from you
just stay, you're just in one spot.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Did you really try or are you doing that cheating
thing you did did that time when did boxing.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
I didn't cheat. I was brilliant well as a naturally
gifted boxer. According to a European well away.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Champion, when we went to that boxing training, I looked
across and I felt I was trying harder than you.
I could be wrong because I didn't feel like you.
You didn't feel like tired. You didn't look that tired.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Now you've said that. I did have rests in between.
So anyway, basically I had to. It was the first
time I've done exercising ages. I am. I am unfit.
I'm not fat, but I eat a lot of crap,
so that is surrounding my heart or something. It's somewhere.
But I've got a really quick metabolism, so I've been
lucky that I'm not as fat as I could be,
although I am getting a paunch, as we've discussed on

(02:06):
the podcast before.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yes, but I really struggled.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
And the ratio of mental women was out of my
comfort zone. So when I got there and it was
ninety nine percent women, I was like, oh shit, Oh
so I cannot pretend. I cannot like I'm gonna have
to fake this.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
We've tended been there as well. It's not an opportunity
to like hit on another attend.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Anyway, it was it was fine. I did it. I
did all the exercises, but.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Most of like mums.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Yeah, but they've all been that. You can tell they've
been doing it for a little while because they all
got in their straight up, got their weights already, get
them mad out.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Well, they all really pally with the class. The person
who did the class.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, he's a good looking fellow. And it was like
a guy, the guy who runs the classes a block. Yeah,
and he is he does CrossFit for a living, like
he makes money out of doing cross them. And he's
at the front of the class doing all the exercises
for a laugh.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
And bearing man. That's probably eighth class of the even.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, and you can see him. He's got like twenty
k like weights plates in each hand and he's just
going like jazz hands and looking at people and pointing
at them, going you're doing well, yeah, And he's like
lifting a dumbbell with one arm, going look.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
At you, yeah, put the f and yeah. It was
really bad. I'll tell you what though. After classes instructors
like that, you need someone to spur you on, don't you.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Oh it was a proper nice It was a really
nice lad yet. But on the sit down exercises, so
sit ups, leg races and stuff, I was just like resting, resting.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
The best ones out there because you can almost it's
quite easy to fake a sit up because you just
like lift your neck.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Or when you when you really need a drink, because
they say make sure you're taking all loads of fluids.
So I'm taking all fluids every ten seconds, just getting
some fluids. But it was it was good. I feel
really good. And I had a freezing ice cold shower
after and it was belting.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
Oh good lad ice baths. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
So I'm still waiting for my dad to deliver me
and be a big barrel so that I can get
on the ice ice bath bandwagon.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yeah. I need to get I need to get into
that barrel stuff.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
Well you've got you've got a hot tub, aren't you,
but a cold tub?

Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, but it's it's it's essentially turned into a pond,
so it's not really working as a clean thing. Dirt dirty,
well I need the other day and one of those
pond hoppers that sit on top of the pond pond
literally skating across front of them.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
What they call They've got a really cool name, and
that'll be a really nostalgic what are they like, boatman
or something?

Speaker 2 (04:41):
Do you when you go on school trips to the
local pond and you try and catch tadpoles? They're gonnay're
gonna be come into my hot tub this these schools
and it was. It was, and it's starting to look
a bit green better in man. I do like empty
it and clean it, but I don't think it's working
as an ice bath. I think I need something else.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, because it's how cold will it stay in winter
as well?

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Well? I got into other day and it was ten
degrees and I were a little bit gutted because I'm
trying to get five degrees. Trust me, it's cold like
you don't. You can't. It's hard to tell the five
and ten.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Like my shower's freezing, but it's because it's not warm
outside yet.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
Really, your shower will probably be fifteen degrees, but it
will feel a lot.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
It felt. It felt freezing, but it felt good. It
felt You're right about the I don't know if you
do it at the right point when you're in the
right frame of mind. It feels really good. When you
get out, you're like, oh God, I'm so fresh. But
if you think if, like the hour before you do it,
you're worried, God, I don't want to do that.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
You just got to do it. Like the worst eye
of basbas is, where you mull over it, you have
a coffee, you watch a bit of news on TV
in the morning, then you're getting they're the worst, one
of the best. One sage up down shots on well that.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
What I did was I was in the shower after
my intense workout and I just thought, fuck it, turned
it all the way down.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Oh you're so brave.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
I'm a brave man. But now I feel good. Does
feel really good to have done the exercise. Unfortunately, regular
listeners of the podcast will know I've got a dodgy
left knee because I've had a cruciate ligament injury and
a midway through a two part up and one of
the exercises was I had a dumb bell, didn't have
a lot on it. It was something like forty k or

(06:18):
something like that on the dumb bell, and I held
it above my head and you've got to do squats
and the first squat I did went I felt a
splitting pain through it.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
I was like, shit, it should be squatting me on knees.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
This is like the first exercise as well, so I'm
not only am I battling through the pain of my
heart's going to explode, but also the pain of my knee.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
How did Teddy feel afterwards? Was it buzzing?

Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, I got a bit of a headache. I think
he was dehydrated. But he did well because basically what
they've done for Teddy was said to him, Look, these
are the exercises we're going to go through him at
the starts. At the start of every class, the warm
up is running you through the exercises and basically said
to Teddy, picky favorites and do them. And it was

(07:07):
brilliant because it felt like he's involved and he's doing
the exercises that he just did that are easy to do,
so bicep curls and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
You don't want to put him off to you, you know,
first week, right, give me a hundred press ups like
an army camp. He's never gonna want to come again,
is it. You've got to make it appealing weirdly enough,
Niko's done CrossFit tonight, weirdly should say.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
That it's good. It's really good. And as you as
you know, I'm having a bit of an issue at
the minute because Teddy's been getting teased about his weight
a little bit. So since I got a divorce, Teddy
initially to make himself feel better.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
I get that, and I would do the same.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
I must admit I facilitated it because I had gone
through this horrible thing. Me and his mum would split
and I would feed him is the wrong word, but
like I would eat badly as well because I was
feeling shit.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
No, But you wouldn't be to say no, would you.
So if you were, like, if Teddy were like, oh
I could just get a pizza tonight, You'll be like,
of course we can, Son, It's fine, you know, like.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
You you as you well know. I bet of the
four out of the four years since I've been split,
I must have had two or three takeaways a week.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
Oh yeah, absolutely, living the bachelor life style down to a.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Tease, absolutely awful.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
But it must be like if Teddy so, like, Teddy's
finding comforting food and if you say you take that
away from me, and say no, you got to a salad
or you know, it's not especially at Teddy's age as well.
They shouldn't be dyeting, really should no, no, no, no, the
kids are there.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
I'm really lucky. I mean you and I the opposite
ends of the scale because I was a rake when
I was at school, Like people took the piss out
of me for being skinny.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yeah, yeah, whereas you were bigger, I were weird. I
didn't never I never got. I did get picked on
a bit for being big, but I never got they were.
Luckily there were bigger guys. Luckily sounds really bad. Luckily
the bigger guys in my.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Ear, that's that's true in it, But yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
It's true, there were there were bigger guys. Usually there
were the other two lads that were really not fatter
than me. So they kind of got the brunt of it.
What what did I get? Well, my initials are TAF,
which is fat backwards, So I got so I got TAF.
Like they just go, you're right, TAF because they knew,
you knew what the undercurrent were. But I used to

(09:18):
deal with it all right, How is he dealing with it?

Speaker 1 (09:20):
Then?

Speaker 2 (09:20):
What's he saying? To these yeah, not well no, not well, yeah,
but what has he told you? What is is he?

Speaker 3 (09:25):
Just like?

Speaker 1 (09:25):
What do you mean what he said? What did you
What would you say back to a bully? Nothing?

Speaker 2 (09:30):
Well? I used to give him some back or try
and make him laugh and be like, oh, do you
want a truffle shuffle? You know, I know it's not
everybody can do that. I know that alone's got the locker,
but I was like trying to. I thought, the only
way they're not going to pick him, because I'm a
would beat him in a fight is trying to get
him on side. And if they take if they call me,
if it's called me and him, I used to laugh

(09:50):
at it and go, it's quite good. That would actually
it's not bad. And then that they hate that, don't
that they hate that? Because what all they want from
you is a reaction. They want you to cry, run away,
go into your shell, or get angry with him. That's
not the one. They don't want you to laugh along
with him. Did They don't want to be you to
be part of the joke with them.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah, mate, I was. I was similar because I mean
I hesitate to use the word bullying because I don't
think I was teased. You know, there were people who
were getting bullied far worse than me, Like there were
there were people who were getting you know, their lives
all being a misery. I mean, I must I probably
had a few nights where I was really upset that
someone had said call me specky four eyes or something
like that, which makes me laugh now the thought of

(10:28):
it makes me up. And because there's a place in
Leeds called Potter Newton, and I looked like Harry Potter
and my name was Newton. So when I first went
to high school, the bigger boys would be like.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
But don't Newton like that?

Speaker 1 (10:41):
And I was not that familiar with Harry Potter. At first,
I was like what, I don't get it.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
I mean, that's that's also It's not It's not that bad,
is it.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
It's not bad.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
It's not really even funny.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
I bossomed soon as soon as I started getting bristles
bristol right right longer like Beard Beard when when I
was in like year eleven or something, But I mean
that's not true. I didn't bottom. But there was a
weird thing where my glasses broke once and I was
in like home tech and obviously a female heavy classic

(11:15):
was at the.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Time they cooking is home tech cooking.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, yeah, I wanted to do cooking.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
They won't let me do it.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
We had to, we had to want a choice. Anyway,
I was cooking some a flann or something like that,
and always tell you a lot of fancy flan now
cheese flan. Anyway, and a girl came up to me
and said, oh my god, you look so much fitter
without your glasses.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
I don't think you said fitter. I don't think she
said fitter. I remember I said better. Yeah, I don't.
I don't think fitter was really a word like in
yeah ninety seven, I don't.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Know it won ninety seven. It will have been two
thousand something like that. I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
I'm pretty I think she might have said you look better.
Like that's quite bright, brazen in the home tech class.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah, but bet as not a good enough story for me.
But anyway, that's that's beside the point in it. We
all change puberty hits, and quite often you look better
if you if you're chunky, quite often that you spread
out and it evens itself out across the body.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yeah, I so in sixth form randomly. I slimmed out,
I mean as slimmers I can get, but I did.
That was probably my best. Like first two years, six
year eleven, sixth form, year eleven, I had bear down
like these little spikes like this I had.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Everyone had that.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
I had to count nine strands otherwise I couldn't go
to school and gellum, it were really bad?

Speaker 1 (12:37):
Did you use wet look gel wet look geer?

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Of course green in color or blue or whatever? And
then I went to first first day of sixth form,
I spiked my hair up, like who's this guy? I
didn't change my hair, but I think I actually grew
as well and almost have shifted a few pounds. But yeah,
can you not That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Can you not well what I'm doing?

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Hey, it's hadd and it's tough. What are you using?

Speaker 1 (13:04):
It's it's bad at high school is a fucking nightmare.
I'm not gonna like it. And I know that's not
a good thing to say, considering your las high school.
But they're all of a sudden exposed to loads of
different stuff. Boys are mean because every lad's insecure, So
to make up for their insecurity, they just take the
piss out of someone else they find what they think
is a weak link or whatever. And because Teddy, you

(13:25):
know Teddy, Teddy's a lovely, plastic yeah, fairly naive thirteen
year old. You know, he's not ready to be a
big boy yet. And so people are like, oh, well,
he's nice, because what's up back to me, He's not
a threat. He's not gonna punch me if I say something.
And I must admit when I found this out, I
was fucking sharpening my axe. I was on my knee, like,

(13:47):
tell me who he is?

Speaker 2 (13:48):
What's his name? Right? A few questions? Are they older
than him? Or same year?

Speaker 1 (13:52):
No? Same year?

Speaker 2 (13:53):
So is the year eight?

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (13:56):
So's your eight? Right? Same year? Is that? Is that
a good thing? I mean, none of it's really good.
But you don't have to be older here. Imagine if
they were older, I'd be terrible. So as he told
you who they are is? Are giving you names? All right? Facebook?
Straight away?

Speaker 1 (14:13):
John Wick? Mate, I'm gonna go around.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
I thought you're gonna give one of the names to me? Then?
What it's called? John Wick?

Speaker 1 (14:19):
Imagine we won't bother him. I'm sure you don't mean it.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
So what are you gonna do.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
I'm gonna deal with it. No, I'm going to deal
with it for all the proper channels, and if it don't,
if it carries on, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
A couple of my friends, their kids got bullied both
year he actually eight year nine, and they both stormed
into school and like just walked straight into the head
master's office if for a through and I'm Sandwich, excuse me,
you've got an appointment.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
I've been to see the teacher.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Which teacher the head of year is the.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Head of year today? And you seem really lucky that
Teddy is known for being a nice lad, known for
being you know, he's good at music, he's really good
at sport. And I know that that's not the case
for every kid, but it meant the teacher knew he
was she knew what he was like. So when we
went in and said this, she said because I'd emailed

(15:14):
about it first, and she said she'd spoken to him
and she said, yeah, it's concerning. Here's what the plan is.
Take him out of those situations. The boy in question
will be removed. Now there is an added complication that'll
tear you off, Mike, So it it makes it a
little bit more difficult.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, well you know what, Like it's so a parent
of a bully will try and find any excuse or
loophole to like excuse that behavior. Like I know, if
my kid was being a bully, they would be berated
from me. You know, if I found out, I won't
be excusing it because of this. Because of that, I

(15:56):
would literally be like what doing do you know what
I mean?

Speaker 1 (16:00):
My steps ap, my steps on Felix, It wasn't a bully,
but it's heard him say something mean to someone and
he got a right ballo kin.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah, and and and like because you know your child
better than anyone, and maybe if it's a good school
they're going to and if the if the if the
parents were that this boy's gonna be kicked out of
the school, they're kind of clambering for excuses because if
if like if if it's one hundred percent, like is
there evidence, is the witnesses of what what happened? Are
you happy to tell me what happened and what was said?
Or not?

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Can I tell you now?

Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (16:30):
Well, they're just the same stuff about his way now.
Teddy plays football at a really good level, like the
top level for his age, and admittedly we you know,
we know he's put a bit of weight on and
it's changed. The way he plays football is a bit slower.
He's lost an edge. So the plan is to take
him out of that environment and put him back there
when he's when he's better. That's fine, don't mind that
at all. I think that's a good idea.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
You're going to stop Hi from playing football.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
I'm just going to move him to a different level
for now. Oh yeah, yeah, Well.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Is that where it's happening that sorry, I'm gonna confuse
at school or.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
It is happening a bit there as well, quite often, right,
And he plays in some areas of leads where the
lad has a shame and he played a game and
they were saying stuff to him, well the opposition or
the team, the opposition. Yeah, it's getting to a point
where it needs dealing with. And it came to the
cost me today. He diets better and I need to

(17:23):
set a good example as well. My my diet's going
to be better.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
I can just say Teddy is not fat and and
and you might disagree, but I for me, and it's
like I honestly feel like my mum mum. When I
say this, it's puppy fat totally. Yeah, he can like
it's like little cute will blissed stuff. It will. It
will one hundred percent go out of that because even

(17:47):
though you might think he does him just playing football
probably in the playground every day. I saw him in
guard and Rouse at Greeky's to running around like his
chicken in his face were ready, was sweating. He's an
active kid. He won't just sitting munching cheetos all afternoon.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Right, tell you what. The bullying is awful. If you're
a bully, I'm going to say it, you're a cunt.
Stop doing it. If you're a bully, if you listen
to if you listen to this and bullies listening, tune
into the Manhod podcast.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
Between beating that little lad.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
That's true, but it is one of the most despicable
things you could do. And I'm going to be honest
with you here. I gave a bit to someone else
when I got a bit older, be cut to detract
from my own frailties. And it's the biggest regret of
my life.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yeah, you know what I'm not. I'm not I ain't
going to clean record I need a little ladding leg
because you're winding me up a minute. That was self defense.
I got told off for that. Just realized that was
self defense. No, I'm not a bully. Take you back.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
But it's the it's the biggest regret about life that
I said something to a lad. It was the year
below me in sixth form and what did you say?
I'm not going to say. I'm surrounded by a group
of people, but it sounds like my face was covered
in an I've still I've got the scars now. Tom
reminds me about it all the time. And he came
in and he had really bad acne it and I
think I shouted Kruger or something like that. Awful. I

(19:15):
think about it all the time. I regret so much
that lad. I wish I want to take him out
for dinner.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
I should so sorry. Do you know who the lad is?
We should find him, get him on the podcast, and
you should apologize.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
It's one of the worst fits.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
And today we have little Johnny John What you got
to say, Little Johnny? Oh yeah, so.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
Don't don't don't do it. If you if you think
your kid might be a bully or something, speak to
him that was one time I did that and live
with that all the time. I hate that I did it.
I hate that I did it.

Speaker 2 (19:45):
Do you know what you did when you delivered that
that whole rousing speech, which is quite nice. Actually you
did a hand like a politician. You had your thumb up.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
Yeah, I did. Like the conservatives got.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Such a conservative anyway, and if you're a bully, you're
a cunt right that.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
This has been a very somber opening to the podcast,
hasn't it.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah. I've got a couple of little tipbits.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
If you want to go to So how's the marriage?

Speaker 2 (20:13):
The marriage is good marriage.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Well, you normally ask me about what it's like to
be single. So I've decided I'm going to start doing
that now.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
The father in a struggle Nika has been as being
had work this week is a love lad. But I
don't think I told you this, but you know, you
know brought my nose.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
You mentioned to me, Yeah, which is unusual because normally,
when you get some sort of model wound, you ring
me and you go, my go's broken, Oh my god,
I'll speak to you.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Well, they were like trying to save it off the podcast.
I want to get your initial reaction anyway, So we
it with Greek Easter on. It had a great day,
didn't really good old lamb lamb, spir rousted lamb and smash.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
Well, we'll give it that. We'll give it the full
Greek Easter treatment in a minute. Tell me about Nico.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
So I I were drunk and really drunk, a Nico
in bed and I was going up the stairs singing
a Dumbo song. Elephants. He'd have come, do do you?
And they've got I like, and then I'd stop and
then i'd pause, and then I was basically rattling him
up right, he'll getting excited and you're coming for him.
And I jumped on the bed and it was pitch

(21:23):
black and he must have been absolutely petrified, and he
just swung a proper right up and close.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
I mean to be fair, that's good and ah ow daddy,
what you're doing?

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Went, I'm doing a Dumbo song. You just caught me
your nose. And then theo got wind, he got excited.
He came and jumped on me. So they're jumping on
rolling around him like my nose. Because I were drunk,
I didn't that much or like you've you've definitely done something,
but it feels all right. I'm drunk, you know. I
think when you're drunk, I think he's able to take
a punch a bit better. Definite really been punched, Oh

(21:58):
I have?

Speaker 1 (21:59):
I have, I've been I've been it have you?

Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (22:02):
Yeah, never been punched on. One time I was at
a rugby club and I went to the bar and
I was just standing next to a girl and I
leant over and went, oh, can you tell me what
that is down there? The beer? And a boyfriend was
obviously watching.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
I think I swear to anything.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
And the top tapped me on the shoulder and I
turned around and it went nooked right on my nose.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Right, Okay, that's not a punch, it's about have you
been clipped on the nose? No? No, no, no no,
I've been weirdest feeling.

Speaker 1 (22:34):
That boxer got me on jordin it but never on
yeah Darren.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
It went no, and I was like oh, And then
I started sneezing and I was like, oh God, this
is weird. Then a bit of blood came out and
I'm like, oh, he's really got me there? Walk with
morning absolutely knacked blow my nose horrible. It was so painful.
So I'm like, do I tell him off?

Speaker 4 (22:52):
Like what?

Speaker 2 (22:53):
I ain't really done it wrong, but he really hurt me,
so I couldn't really tell him off. And then it's
been fine. And thenst night it was just really bad.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
So that's not naughty. That self defense, it's annoying.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
Minute, it's annoying. The inn it like, I can't you know,
don't punch me in the nose, Nico.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
I yeah, yeah, but he didn't know. He didn't know
it were you. You said you went in it.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
Dark, got in you with me. I'm saying Dumbo song,
clambering upstairs. After course he knows it's me.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
Do you know what I think? I think he's been
I think he's been building up for a long time.
It's like it's the opportunity, but they couldn't build this.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Pizza ven with it. And then yesterday this is really bad.
This one. You were kicking the ball in the guarden.
He's welled it and he's smashed one of the Victorian
windows in the conservatory. Oh shit, it's the curved one.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
That is going to cost a fortune.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
And it's this bit of curved glass, these twelve of them,
these pains, they were one hundred and fifty years old. Okay,
this sura is one hundred and fifty years old. And
he smashed one of them, and I'm like, all right,
okay he Honestly I didn't need to tell him off
absolutely his pants. You know when you were younger and

(24:12):
you used to do something really bad and you're just
new and you're basically telling yourself off. I'm so sorry I.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
Spat my own bum.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
It's basically smagicon bum took himself off to his bedroom balling,
and it were like it works be and I'd be like,
it's all right, don't worry. Where's if you had? Don't know?
And I probably showered him. It really weird. So I've
been looking at curve glass. You just can't get single glazer.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
You're gonna have to get it made. You're gonna have
to speak to a glazier. Is that what they called glad?

Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah, a glazier. A glazer.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
On a minute, we know a glazer. I'll pine glass,
get them on the case.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yeah, he's looked before, and he said he's like he's
done that trasing thing where he's looked at the curve
and gone big intake of breath. Yeah, you can't really
get them anymore. It's time. So now it's just and
you know how it is to board up a curved windows.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Tick a binliner over it.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
No, it's a really beautiful conservatory.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
It's so expensive in it. I mean, I'm hemorrhy doing
money at the minute, and I'm sorry, i don't have
stuff like that to pay out.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
I'm not believing it.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
What you never not all conservatory down?

Speaker 2 (25:24):
Well, that's what he said today, he said today, And
he's like, I keep like jokingly reminding him of it,
like winding him up, which I should really do, like
smashing time tonight when its stuff like that, you know,
and remember when you brought that glass last night and
if tonight you're like a pine and shot and you're like, oh,
you know what, Dad, don'try about that glass. It's coming

(25:45):
down anyway, that's concerning it. And I'm like, you cheeky
little beggar, you've got some bloody nerve.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
You can't get rid of that. It's beautiful, got to
it's rotten to the core. Oh so it does have
to come down, Yeah, come down anyway. This is not
relating to the common man talking about that fucking orangey.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
But but do you know what.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
I was watching the news today and Tesco have posted
a profit of three trillion pounds or something. Stupid, you juke?
How's that all right? The cost of everything's gone up
and they're posting I understand the cost of everything going up.
If the supermarket isn't making any money, that.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
Can't be right. Three trillion.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
But it's like the energy companies trillion more than billion. Yeah,
look it up. I might be wrong there. It's a
lot of money. It's a lot of money they've made.
They've made up, they've made a lot of money. Energy
companies are posting all these oh we've made sixty billion.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
Pounds one point four to one point eight billion.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
That's fucking mental though in it how are they allowed
to make that much money and charge people extra?

Speaker 2 (26:52):
Sick?

Speaker 1 (26:52):
Energy company is exactly the same. I was speaking to
Teddy's mum and she was saying that her energy, her
energy bill has gone up to four hundred pounds a
month for one person. How's that sustainable?

Speaker 2 (27:05):
That is obscene? Like diesel.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Diesel is one pound fifty nine point nine at the minute,
and in my head, that's cheap, and it's not cheap.
That's still twenty p moments you'll be But because it's gone,
it went open, he's coming down.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
Went up. It seems it's psychologically that they make you
think it's cheaper than it is.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
It's just mind boggling. I mean, I know, we're really look.
I mean, you earn a decent living, You've got a
good business going on. I earn a decent wage. We're lucky.
But there are people. There are people that were already
on the breadline, already probably thinking, oh, I don't have
much spare at the end of the month, if any,
and then the energy company are like, oh, by the way,

(27:44):
we're doubling your energy bill. And then the mortgage company
is like, your mortgage is going to go by five
hundred pounds this month. But how the fuck is that
all right?

Speaker 2 (27:50):
My marge actually goes up next month. Thanks for reminding me.
I literally forgot about that out of all the stresses.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
Listen, I am not a crusader or like a protester
or anything like that, but occasionally catch a glimpse of
the news or you see it on Twitter, and you're like, fuck,
how is this all right?

Speaker 2 (28:06):
I mean, do you know the stop oil guys, are
they protesting against the money or is it against oil?

Speaker 4 (28:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, and it's polluting there. I've got a loose understanding
of it. But when that guy did jump on that
snooker table and spray that wats it dust everywhere, do
you do?

Speaker 2 (28:24):
You know what?

Speaker 1 (28:25):
That reminded me of? Fill on? Greek Easter unbelievable. There
was an unbelievable to Tom's wife's family there Greek we
had this. He had a big Greek Easter party. Greek
Easter is bigger than Christmas? Is that right? Tom for
grease is yeah, yeah, Yeah, had this amazing big party. Food,

(28:46):
unbelievable food. There are a couple of legs, three legs,
a lamb, loads of chicken, some flatbreads that I made
and in the pizzau burn I made three and managed
to singe the hairs off my hands. Anyway, unbelievable bread
of food. Phil turns up with a massive bag of
what's its front co op opens and puts them in
a ball and sits there looking all gloom eating.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
Them until he undermined the Greek theme and he.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
Were covering in orange dust. But yeah, mate, it was
an amazing party on it.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
They were good one it's really random. I think it
was Sunday night with a lot of people driving, but
there were enough shots consumed and wed this this weird
red egg game which no one really understands what's going on,
and I don't think even Yannis does, even tho it
comes from grease. You've got a tap Eature's egg, this
red egg and then in which everyone breaks loses. Now
I understood it that there was another version where these

(29:38):
five red eggs and one of them's raw, they're all
others are hard boiled, and you smash them against your head.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Yeah, that's the story you told me. So that's what
I was waiting for.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
But they didn't do that. They just did the game
and they were like, oh, that's a raw one.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Like, no, you've got your dad said to me, went
is it right?

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Playing the game last year? Who did it? And brother
smashed the roll against his head and he's really fun
It's very funny.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
But it was really good revelation. Though I drank alcohol
free beer and I was just picking up on vibes
and didn't need to be drunk.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
You were psychologically drunk. He can't drive home.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
I did have I did have a shot of that
Greek Uso. It was like fucking rocket fuel, bloody hell.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Bearing in mind I had been at that on So
I got up at five am to spit roast of
the lamb, no jokes, and our five had got it
going and it had been cooking about eleven hours. And
at half five in the morning, I was like, shall
I have a weed? Did I have a oozl an orange?
And did? Had a news on Orange morning, which was weird.
He's very weird. Not Christmas is the only time you

(30:40):
can really drink in the morning. Do you know what
I mean? With witherspoons during week? If you if you're depressed, I've.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Just remembered what long time listeners of hours, So you
might have listened to I mean, you could have listened
to Tom and Dom Show, which was great in the
Great in two thousand nine. You might have listened to
Banta's Banner. But a long running theme is that Tom's
had this sketchy stuf worry about his grandma having a
fling with her wrestler from the eighties, and Tom wasn't

(31:06):
sure if it was Big Daddy Giant Haystacks, wasn't sure
what the full story was, but ever so often Tom
would say, my grandma's with giant haystacks or big Daddy.
I don't know which one you were. Anyway, the opportunity arose.
I was sitting next to Tom's moment Tom's grandma at
Greek Easter and we got the actual tale we did,
and it's not quite as wrong she as we hoped

(31:27):
it wanted.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
No, but she's funny. She's proper candy in my grandma.
And I don't like, get ready Nerse, you can't crushes
like this, But but Granby's like, she'll see how it is.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
She went, I worked over. I worked at a shop
over road and he worked over across the road from
where I was working, and I caught his eye and
he asked me out, and I said no.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
I took that as they had a royal rumble in
the bedroom.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yeah, yeah, that's what she was insinuating.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
And then what else did she say? She worked in
the sorry about she did she go out with the
gou invented cat's eyes.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
Oh yeah. Basically Tom's grandma has had a bit of
a fling with every famous block to come out of
West Yorkshire in.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
The nineteen fifties. So with that, Percy Shaw Percy show
any cat's eyes name Ben Shaws.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
These references probably mean nothing to most of our list.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
But Percy showing that everyone's cat's eyes. And the guy
who was there from Halifax and he went into the
painting office and my grandma worked and tried to register
the painting. And it's not only the cat's size he
caught also Joyce's eyes. I know what I reckoned. You
were a looker back in the day.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
Oh yeah, I reckon. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
Why how you get how you get in that from
looking at just been nice? It's impossible to look at
an old woman I feel and think maybe not maybe
Joan Collins and think I bet she were fit when
you're younger, you tell me an old lady Helen Mirren, Yeah, yeah,
but she's she's on the cours monitor a man holding

(33:03):
I'm on about a ninety year old.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
Yeah, there was. Sophilla Wren was a beautiful older woman.
Google Sophilla Wren. And I only know of Sophila Wren
from my adolescent days watching the Graham not On show,
and she used to be on it all the time.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
Oh actually, yeah, I see where you're going from. She's
got leather skin.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
Now I think she might be dead.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
My favorite. One of my hobbies, accidental hobbies, is to
kill famous people off all the time, all the time.
So it said to me, with day David Dickinson, I
went dead? To shame is didn't he? He's not dead.
I could have sworn it died, but it was Dale
winning or getting him mixed up.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
The trick.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
I've just killed off David Dickinson. This guy went up
when a footballs went. My god, honestly, I'm going about
David Dickinson dead.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
Who do you think will be the next to die?
That's a morbid subject in it.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
No, keep going because I like it. Right, let's go,
let's have one bet age and we've got to go older.
We can't go you know right. It's a controversial one,
but I'm gonna go Elton John. It's going to be horrible,
it's gonna be sad, but we add you a big
one with you, a big one.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
He's still on tall though.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah, but I think Dickie Bird he's already dead.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
No he's not. He's celebrated his ninetieth birthday this week.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
The umpire, Yeah is still alarm in Yorkshire? Are you sure?

Speaker 1 (34:30):
Google him? It was his ninetieth birthday this week.

Speaker 2 (34:32):
He does count. I'll give you that, Elton John Dickey Bird.
Let's see, there's one thing before we're going to get
fill on. By the way, we are going to get
full on. So you need to send it link. I
want to. I want to, well, I need it go on.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
I was just gonna say I needed your opinion on
something first, but you do your well.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
I feel like mine needs. We could do my next
episode actually, but I feel like I want to tease
it a bit and in between I want you to
do some research on it. Then we'll go to yours. Okay,
So have you heard of the mud flood conspiracy theory? No? Mate,
this is the latest conspiracy theory and it is brilliant
and I think I might believe it. So this theory

(35:11):
is that a few hundred years ago there was a
civilization more high tech than us before we was on
the planet. Okay, right, They built the White House, they
built the Pyramids, they built all these amazing famous hear
me out, they built all these famous landmarks because we
always wonder how they built, and don't they built all
these landmarks and then do you know what happened? You know,

(35:32):
what wiped out that civilization? What a mud flood?

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Fucking hell? How hard did niko it?

Speaker 2 (35:38):
You? Seriously? This is all I want to say to you.
It was the civilization was called the Tartarians T A
T A R T A right. Okay, in the area
where Russia is now. I don't want to break Russia
into it, but I am that area there is where
the main civilization was. But they were all over the world.

(35:59):
They built the Pyramids, the built.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Why did they build the White House? There's thousands of
years between the Pyramids?

Speaker 2 (36:06):
And do you know what The evidence of a lot
of this is that the mud flood came and covered
a lot of these buildings all over the world. Okay, right,
And because you have you seen images of the White
House being dug up recently, Apparently they're digging down next
to the White House, and the White House is like
fifty meters deeper underground. The outside of it carries on

(36:28):
and it's been buried for some reason, and no one
knows why either.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
I think that was just a made up image on
the internet.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Mate, I think you no, no, I will send you
off this and these buildings in big city centers in
New York and this half windows underground, and they've dug
these roads back and the building goes down another thirty meters.
So these buildings were buried for some reason. Nobody knows why.
But I'm not going to get into it too much.

(36:55):
I want you to google the mud flood theory. You'll
get into a rabbit hole on Instagram, on TikTok for hours.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
Why is it we're finding dinosaurs from millions of years
ago but we can't find.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
Because they were buried? And so what their argument is
when our civilization came around, they didn't build the buildings.
They just dug out these buildings.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
I suppose Earth's flat as well, is it?

Speaker 2 (37:18):
No? No, no, I don't believe any that Blogonney. This one,
for me has legs, and I want to believe it
because how you tell me how did they build the
acropolist onm How do you build the acropolist? How do
you lift a column? One of the sections of columns
is as big as my house. Do you tell me
how they lifted that into a mountain?

Speaker 1 (37:37):
How do you run a successful business?

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Anyway?

Speaker 1 (37:41):
Absolutely lost?

Speaker 2 (37:41):
You fucking I want you to do some research on that,
and we're going to touch upon it in later episodes,
and if you're listening, I also want to do some
research anyway.

Speaker 1 (37:48):
What I needed your opinion on was can you still
get your ass waxed at places?

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (37:54):
Do you remember when we were younger back backsack and
crack was still a big deal on it. I was
like a backsack and crack, can you still get done?

Speaker 2 (38:00):
I think it was a joke when it lowered back.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
I'm thinking about getting that done. I feel like it'd
be more hygienic to be squeaky clean down there.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Just yeah, okay, right, So is it gonna grow back
like stubble? That's true, and I think it might be
a myth.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
I'm really fond of a moist wipe, and is that
gonna get caught on the bristles?

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Do you have a moist toilet roll?

Speaker 1 (38:21):
It's a revelation you.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Are killing the planet. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
It says it's dispersable.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
Dispersable what you can throw it around your room? Disposable? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
It disperses in the water like it's tissue that's wet,
and it smells like lovely coconut oil.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
It says dispersable, not disposable, No.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Not disposed, but disposable. Wait there, I'm gonna go grab
a packet so I get shit spoils all over me
and shiite.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
It should go for a back second crack. You should
go for it. I've been tempted. But it's maintenance. In
it for st year, for st year, your life. You
gotta kin keep on top of it. And then when
you do, and at one time when you don't get
it done, it comes back like a jungle at the Amazon.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
Yeah, I know you're right. Actually it is going to
come back like Jason Stepham's chin if I don't keep
it all right. It doesn't actually say dispersable on it because.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
You've made that up. That's not a word to describe it.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
Flushable moist tissue wipes for softness and strength every.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
Time we'll clog up your drain every single week.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
No, because they actually rip really easily. I found I
found out that's accidentally slipped the figure in.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
They got a scent.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
I'm a minute, I'm looking for the word dispersable. It
just says flushable.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
That don't.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
Actually that's that's bad. That that is a bad Actually,
this this is Tesco's version the Sainsbury's ones disintegrate. This
just says that they're flushable. It don't say that they disintegrate.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
That's I mean, I'm not being funny, but you can
flush your blooming.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
What could you flush anything down there, badge if you
really wanted to anyway, I just wanted your opinion on
on the.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
I can I just say I get it done? And
when you're gonna go get it done, can we record it?

Speaker 1 (40:16):
Do you think that's a good idea? Yeah, definitely, But
the thing is, I don't want anyone looking at me
rusty sheriff's badge on bloody cameraes.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
No, I'm not gonna call that bit. Well. I will
just do audio of getting done and it will be
quite funny.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
Like shure, there's no one out there who wants wants
to wax one's asshole.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Also, wax in your pulsea must knack.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
Yeah, there's no way I'm getting that done.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
So when you know what you do with the wax
in your nostril, that is painful enough down there.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
There's no way that's happening.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
But that's part of it.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
In it.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
Where do you get your pubist done? Get your pubist done?

Speaker 4 (40:48):
No?

Speaker 3 (40:48):
No, no, no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Have you ever pulled on your pubes? O Jesus, that
is sore?

Speaker 2 (40:52):
Do you know what your pubis?

Speaker 1 (40:54):
Is your pubispone?

Speaker 2 (40:56):
I call that that region there?

Speaker 1 (40:58):
Oh do you mean the bit between you bum all
in your balls?

Speaker 2 (41:01):
No, that's the gout side, your gouch. That's your gouch goiside.

Speaker 1 (41:05):
Isn't it goutside? What the hell's there?

Speaker 2 (41:08):
That's that in it? That's the connection, the gout side.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
I thought it was just called your gouch.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
Yeah. I think people call it gouch, but I've always
called it gout side. So you got pubis, shaft sack,
goot slash, go outside the crack. You can get it
all them, Just get it all done if we're going
to record it, and I know someone will do it
as well. I know someone will do it.

Speaker 1 (41:27):
You know, something will wax my bum Yeah I'm not
getting my balls done though, mate, that's just too much
to ask.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
I think whilst we're there, whilst she's down there with
the waxing strips.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
Right, Sainsbury's are called dispersable wipes, so he's actually.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
Described as dispersable.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
Still they do split up. Yeah, but you're getting You're
just get buying wet wipes, mate, and you're killing the
blood planet, clogging the sewers.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
Basically, I'm feeling feeding whales toilet tissue covering my shit.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
Right, So we're gonna get we're gonna get filling out
with when you tear this up a bit. So Phil
had been on much a few reasons because we're getting
loads of guests on, and what we didn't want to
do with Henry is giving in like three podcasts to
edit every week.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
Henry, Henry is the producer to be clos producer, and
we didn't want to over complicate things. We didn't want
too many voices on. If we our guest and then
we get fill on at the end of the show,
it's too much.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
It's a lot going on. And the thing we fill
on and me and Dom what we've realized, especially if
for going out last week, it's really hard to get
a word in edgeways like these three people who have
got a story to tell an opinion and like it.
It is difficult. I mean, it's kind of just be
and Dom to be honest with you, it really, it's
got to plan out stories. You tell your story now,

(42:41):
then I'll tell me. So the idea is it's gonna
be this next section with Phil is going to be
completely unedited. Right. So up to now, there's been some
bits that Henry's taken out, some controversial things that I've
probably said happens every week, some stuff that Don wants
taken out. It's edited, but the best bits are left in.
But now Phil's going to come on and we're going

(43:01):
to We're going to tell him this you've got and
we've got twenty minutes, basically ten ten minutes.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
I think ten's better. We're already at forty five minutes
ISHO on this recording.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
Let's split the middle and go fifteen.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Fine.

Speaker 2 (43:13):
I'm going to hold a countdown to him fifteen so
whilst you're getting filled, I'm going to find a decent
app for the countdown.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Fine. So basically we went to Manchester. We did mate
so Shiron, We did a massive session Manchester. We went,
we bought tickets to go and see Parenting Hell live.
You know, we we we're good mates with Rob Beckett.
We wanted to see his new show live and we
arranged to have a few drinks after. But what we

(43:40):
did was jumped the gun a little bit and had
a full on day seshon with Phil his wife and
Tom and his wife. I went on my loansome you did,
did you so?

Speaker 2 (43:50):
So?

Speaker 1 (43:50):
So what what's the problem with that?

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Well, we're really all good to find a table till
the five we didn't know what to do, did we do?
We're going a smaller table, big.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Table, and of course you'd had of course you'd had
a few. You kept making due UKs. Sorry he got
told off by your wife. Did anyway, But before we
get fill on, we did cock up a bit. So
basically we did. We had the day sesh, We went
and met Rob. Afterwards we were a bit half cut
and Tom and I were There were other famous people

(44:17):
in the room, so Tom and I were mixing with
allready tried to get him on the show.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
Basically, well, there were Alex Brooker, Josh whittickumb the most
nervous man ever he' Josh widikemb by the way, Oh
my god, my heart melted, Alex Brooker, Josh whittickm Rob Beckett.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
But we were like social butterflies were moving between people.
We're speaking to Rob's family, speaking to Blah.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
Blah blah pair of brown noses.

Speaker 1 (44:37):
So drunk we were probably talking a lot of shit,
and we forgot that. Robert offered to maybe record something
with us, do a video together to help promote our podcast.
So kind of him. Anyway, we forgot the next day
message him. So this is what Rob had to say.

Speaker 4 (44:53):
Tom, Dom and most probably Phil. I will come on
your podcast, I said in due July. I'm quite busy
and all you do is wander around the north getting
ship faced. So you came to my gig last night.
Lovely to see you and your partners. Not all your partners.
You're still struggling obviously, aren't your Dom, But it was

(45:14):
lovely to see most of your partners. Good to see
Phil for a bit until he got so pissed he
couldn't speak. Very red face, very redhead. It's one of
the reddiest things I ever seen, was Phil's face. And
I said, look, I promise I'll come on lads. I'm
just quite busy at the moment. And I said, well,
why don't we do a video now and you can
put it on your socials. I can do an audio

(45:37):
clip for you, bring your podcast up, and I can
have a quick five minute chat and do a little message.
But you got too pissed again. You wandered off into
the night to get drunk again, and now you text
me twelve hours after going, oh, we forgot to do
that video. How about you turn the mirror on yourself
and put some fucking effort in rather than bullying me
and harassing me for content. I'll come on your show,

(46:00):
give me some time, and when I do offer to
do videos and audio stuff, take me up on it
and don't make me send a voice note the next day. Anyway,
Love a lots and enjoy your Greek Easter.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
By Phil. Before we get started, this section is strictly
time to fifteen minutes. We want to hear all your stories,
what's been going on in your life, but this is timed.
Tom wanted to do a stock clock.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Have you got it? Tom, I've got the stock clock,
but also need to tell him the caveat to it. Okay,
it's completely filled. If Phil, you're listening, yeah, just send record.
I'm listening. Are you recording right? Yes? It is completely unedited.
Henry is not going to edit the next fifteen minutes, okay,

(46:47):
And that's the reason for the timer, because we could
if we've talked for an hour, it's going to be ridiculous.
So we're thinking we're going to time it fifteen minutes.
Are you okay with that?

Speaker 3 (46:57):
I don't know what will one mate not allowed to say.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
That's up to you, mate, that's what to you.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
Okay, all right? Am I talking about me?

Speaker 2 (47:05):
Or of a chat with Okay, let's have it. Let's
have a chat.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
So basically, Phil, you're coming into the podcast on the
back of the voicemail that Rob centers about the night
out in Manchester. It was a good night though, want
it feil? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (47:19):
I just got too drunk Tom and Dom.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
I don't think you were that bad. Rob said you
had a big be troue.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
I think it's been blown out of all proportion.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
I think. I don't. I don't think you were that drunk.
I think Rob was using some artistic license there to
see you were hammered, which is.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
The fact of lemon drinking long hand iced teas at
one o'clock.

Speaker 1 (47:37):
Yeah, we sucked up. We sucked up the big time.
I got to a point where i'd gone beyond. I
don't remember we went to McDonald's, didn't We had got
two chicken sandwiches. I don't know what I was thinking
and I won't move ontolid eating them buff, which is
an unusual move.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
Can I have have you discussed like the plus one
and the relationship status and what we did, how we
got there? Is that?

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Is this such a big deal?

Speaker 3 (48:07):
I don't stop thinking about it.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
You got paid for I know.

Speaker 3 (48:11):
But look, there's been a few things said off off this,
and I think it's probably the wrong time to do this.
Recording to Buris and Tom's got his head in his hands.
I don't know what to say. I don't know if
there's an elephant. There's an elephant in the room, and
I don't know what to do.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
What is it? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (48:29):
I'm single?

Speaker 3 (48:30):
So basically the idea is Don wanted a plus one
for take it to Manchester?

Speaker 2 (48:35):
Didn't you?

Speaker 3 (48:35):
You want to find someone and you had twelve months
to find someone and he never found.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
One year I found.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
I found people. But then when it you know, listen,
as you well know, I've been in a relationship before,
long term. I want to be in another I want
to find the right person to spend time with, do
nice things with, happy in each other's company, happy to
be nothing and doing stuff together. That's sort of relationship.
But I'm taking time to find that right person. Fill

(49:06):
simple as that. So I must admit when we started
recording this fifteen minute section and we said it was
going to be unedited, what I didn't imagine is that
we'd just be cutting the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
We'ren nine minutes. This is a nine minute countdown, nine
minute count nine loads of time.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
But anyway, Manchester it was. It was good despite the
fact I was I was there as a Gooseberry.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
It was so awkward that fact. Why was it wet?
Because we couldn't have we couldn't find a table for
five people.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
The first person went into. We moved table three times
because we're trying to accommodate this extra person.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
No, actually, where was the place we went to and
they had a five person table?

Speaker 2 (49:43):
Where was that?

Speaker 1 (49:45):
It was perfect? Oh yeah, we went in a place
and they actually had a five person You know why?

Speaker 2 (49:50):
You know why I rang ahead and went, please don't
make it awkward for us. Can you make up a
five person table? We're really struggling today. No, you didn't.

Speaker 3 (49:58):
Well, the only thing that I'd say about Manchester is
if you want to go to Manchester for a drink,
you've got to book a table before you go to
the place, which is just stupid.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
Oh you can't. Yeah, we were turning up at places
that were empty, and they were empty. We've got to
five fully booked. Well you're clearly not. It's empty, and
well that that is there in twenty minutes there that
we will sit down. So, yeah, you got a book
if you go to Manchester. It's getting so busy now.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
We went into that that old school Manchester man United Pub.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
Oh yeah, stunk of piss.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
Yeah, absolutely honked of piss.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
A million photos of Georgia best of Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
It was weird. It was a weird pub.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
But what was it like going around Manchester on a
day seshem with two couples?

Speaker 1 (50:44):
Fine, it's not like you you're all strangers, is it?

Speaker 2 (50:48):
But I won't bothered? No, But I think we were
very I think we were very accommodating to you.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
You know, we won't like what you're talking about. It's
not like we're all skipping down the street all in hands.
Is it? What your normal people? What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (51:01):
What is we didn't like? I didn't like I want
all the Rabbish smoothing her.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
Are you having a laugh, mate, Tom?

Speaker 2 (51:08):
Tom?

Speaker 3 (51:08):
We had to wait for you on two occasions.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
Right, Okay, I'm quickly doing just subject. This is unedited.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
What what what I felt sorry for is Becky because
Phil with Paul it next day?

Speaker 3 (51:20):
God, I mean we had this beautiful breakfast at six course.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
Causeous because you two bottled it. You didn't eat a lot, though,
did you.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
I had a very delicate tummy, Phil, like half.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
A sausage in a kind of I want to I
want to Phil, you need to go to doctor about
your tummy. Phil has this thing where if he goes
to a hotel and I've been witnessed to this, first
thing in the morning, he will go to the toilet. Okay,
we will go for breakfast. Then he will immediately go
to the toilet again.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
Evacuate, evacuate the breakfast, vacate.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
But this is not just a you know, with me
and Phi set the parts together and all this. And
when I went to Orlando, I was witnessed first hand
to this, sleeping in a bed next to him, and
it is this is a medical problem. It's a problem.
You need to go doctor.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
It sounds like ibs.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
No, I think it's because I eat ship and I'm fat.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
I'm not gonna argue with that fat.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Are you saying you're seeing all fat people eat ship
and when they put it in the body it comes
straight out because that's what you're That's what happened to
you today.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
And mc donald McDonald's breakfast this morning. Do you know
what I did ten minutes after?

Speaker 1 (52:31):
It?

Speaker 2 (52:32):
Can't go through that quick though, it's physically impossible.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
I had a Mexican wrap at the golf club tonight.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
Oh yes, sounds nice.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
Nearly shut myself.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
This could be actually worried and we need to gook.
You need to get a camera in there.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
It sounds like ibs. Get it checked out.

Speaker 2 (52:47):
It must be.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
But no, I just think if you cut out all
the ship. But I'll be honest, I'm enjoying.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
I thought you were going to say I've been joining
the time on the toilet. I used to think it
was because it's got four kids. He just eat toilet
and go sit there, not even take his pants down
and just sit on the toilet with his pants up
on his phone for ten minutes and then come out.
Oh that were lovely, But then in Orlando the kids
won't there. He does actually sit on the toilet a.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Lot anyway, that's a there's been too much pood talk
on this right.

Speaker 3 (53:16):
Shall we talk about have you ever spoken to you
about Americas since you because I haven't been on its
for ages? Have you talked about Orlando Universals?

Speaker 1 (53:24):
For it?

Speaker 2 (53:24):
Go for it, Phil, We're here for you five minutes.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
This is all allocated time slot.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
Right, Okay.

Speaker 3 (53:31):
I cannot say this highly that I recommend going to
Universal Studios, Florida with no children. It was me and
Tom went on a business trip. We went for the
afternoon to Universal Studios and me and Tom looked at
each other. It was the best afternoon.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
At one part, we had a pint of Pina Clad
alcoholic Pina clad each the sun was shining, We've just
been on the Velocity coaster, and we looked at each
other and we both did a big smile. All Right,
we're a bit drunk, and we're like, this could be
the best have to do with my life.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
Nice, nice one, Yes, sounds great.

Speaker 2 (54:03):
It would definitely. It was brilliant. You have to come
next year if you have a good It was definitely
top five, definitely top five things in my life.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
Don't ever go there with kids. At one point, me
and Tom single rider Cues is a game changer.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
Welcome to my world.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
What was really weird was when Tom went on the
Spider Man ride, which was full of kids and families,
but because when honors a single rider. I'm onm with
Missus Smith and three kids, and she's Tom's with two blokes.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
A Spanish family mum and dad, daughter, son and daughter
were both eight and nine, and they're looking at me like,
who is this nuns right? And I were like, single
Spider Man, Spider boy, Yeah, were you doing that? Yeah? Well,
I would try to over emphasize the fact I wasn't
we being weird. I wasn't weird. I wasn't gonna do anything.

Speaker 3 (54:57):
Let's move the conversation, right, Yes, so Tom basically Tom
told Kensle told me off in Orlando for peeing too much.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
But it was it was Tom's very critical of his
friends and I'm not. I've not. I think it's because
he's insecure.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
We should just let feel talk. We we we really
we really killed it.

Speaker 3 (55:15):
Since we last spoke, I've lost more hair on my hands, legs,
and arms.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
Have you been to see anyone about this film?

Speaker 2 (55:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (55:25):
Blood tastes nothing wrong. It's just basically put down to
tell the piece. So I'm fat bold and I'm now
losing hair on my arms and hands.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
You're a lovely bloke, blow Phil and it'll all repair.
It'll all repair itself in the end, it will you would?

Speaker 2 (55:38):
I reckon? You're in a mentally good place, you know me,
and you are really close being lid it to his shoulders?
Aren't we selling shafts like no one's business. We're meeting
gas from Jordy Sharp Marning.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
Yeah, come on, you've got to stop.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
Listening to Taylor Swift.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
Oh no, I've gone off that now?

Speaker 2 (55:53):
What I mean?

Speaker 1 (55:54):
Now?

Speaker 3 (55:55):
Oh have you watched I know this is so boring,
but Daisy John's and the same prime No, you did
tell me about that? Been listening to the album constantly?
How much time have we gone recommend that to viewers?

Speaker 2 (56:06):
At one minute thirty right.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
I'm going to save I'm going to save this for
because I mentioned this to Philip Greek Easter. I've got
an idea for what's going to be the next big
sporting championships that that every man can get involved in. No,
it needs more than a minute and a half. I'll
save it for the next podcast. That's what we call
in the industry a teaser, a cliffhanger, but it's it's

(56:30):
going to be big and we're going to make it big.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
So this so this is sorry.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
I wasn't listening.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
I don't worry about it. We're running out of town.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
I went on, what were you thinking about?

Speaker 3 (56:42):
I was just thinking. I'll be honest, you know what
I was thinking about. And we're not allowed to talk
about tom.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
What were we arguing about when I lost marag We
were only joking on it. We're only joking.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
Yeah, you were joking, but it was delivered it in
quite a strong way. It was definitely. It was definitely
a joke. Are we're worrying about? I were telling people
what to order for the food at that first place,
and no one really listened to me. Then Becky suggested
the same thing and went, great idea, Becky, I don't
like I just said that, and.

Speaker 1 (57:11):
You sho no, there's no way, There's no way. I
said that in front of people.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
You did, don't You had this idea that you were
going to eat at every pub and we went to
two places and then never ate anything.

Speaker 1 (57:24):
Ten What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (57:26):
We ate?

Speaker 1 (57:26):
We ate spring rolls that were tastes like cheeseburgers that
were amazing, And what else did we eat?

Speaker 2 (57:31):
Tom chips? Stop stop, stop your mics. Just cut it,
cut man,