#30 - Guess who's back? Back again...

The studio isn't quite finished...but we couldn't wait! 

All of pur episodes can be watched over on our brand new YouTube channel. Just search 'Tom & Dom's Manhood'

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
So going down.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Let's see up the episode, tee up the podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Okay, Manhood is back, but it's not going to be
Manhood forever all for long, is it, Tom? No? Yeah,
we'll get to get to it. We'll get to it.
But check it out.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
How good do we look?

Speaker 1 (00:28):
We have a studio.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
We're a pair of jesus Is.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
It's still not totally finished and we have to have
the doors open because it's red hot in here, so
you might hear a canal badge going past ever so often.
But we do have a studio. We've put some of
our memorabilia in. There's a TV to go on the wall,
deco to be done. But we are back.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Yeah, it's been six months and.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
It looks good. Done it. It does look good. We've
invested in some proper equipment. We're in. But we did
lock ourselves out of the studio about ten minutes.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Sorry is that the Royal? We and Andy Kimmer really early,
which should like to see. It's very keen and give
him the key. The studios said, sort yourself out. I've
got sorts of invoices out with Penny went upstairs, it
comes downstairs?

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Everything all right?

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, blow myself out, we've got spare key, like assuming
i'd have a spare key, and we don't have spare
key because I found the lock in my cellar at home.
It's an old lock anyway, Yeah, anyway to get speak
literally got spaky. So we were locked out of the
studio on the very first hurdle, and the options were
to drill through the wall with a whole cutter or climb.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
How big is the office? Yeah, it's too high. It's
scary high to.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Climb forty foot pretty much vertical. So here's a phoe
video of me climbing the office.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Did you film it? Anyway, we're back. There are going
to be changes to the show. Tom and I have
decided we want to go back to our roots and
we will explain all of that in more detail.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
I know what you're thinking, is it feels tedious to me.
We do this whole time, but that's.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Part of the show. Was changing it all the time?
Is yeah, but we.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Were dom Don brought some like old memorabilia back from
when we did Tom and Dom in the Morning, which
is a community and it was it was really nostalgic
and some of the stuff on there was actually.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Put the camera on me. Andy, quite good, where's the
which cameras it that one? Look at that? That's how branding.
That's actually Kellogg's is branding I stole. It's not like
this is we found a folder with all of our
old branding and stuff.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
I don't know what's more impressive that this exists or
the folder that don did.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Look around you. I libratized my life that word this,
this is my life pretty much on these shelves. My
power Rangers heldt over on that shelf over there. I
appreciate that if you're a podcast, this is a very visual.
But basically, all the memorabilia is mine. And Tom's left

(02:53):
all of his memorabilia and his cellar at home because
he's selfish.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
I've brought some stuff down. I'm wearing one of them.
It's a German vintage football shirt and I wore it
the other week to the nineteen forties weekend the v
D oh yeah, and I'll get this funny looks. I
wore a German football shirt to like a.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
War weekend and I don't do that, you know, I
had to do.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
I had to like take it off like mid people
like looking at me and they're like staring at badge
definitely knowing it with Germans quicker getting in a in
a biggin of a pub and change.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Oh so you you didn't just walk around topless, had a.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
Speed T shirt? I will get I'll good with that.
Like forward, why did you have a spear T shirt?

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Sweat? You sweat a lot, don't you.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
I always take specause because I'm gonna go cold water swimming.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Right, Because if you'd have taken your top off and
just walked around in your short you'd look like a German,
you know, the German that Indiana Jones fights and lost
that you like top.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
It'd probably been less offensive to go to walk around
naked then a German football top.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
But then the couple of people a dressed as nazis authentic.
I suppose it's just true at the time and it
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
I don't know if Nazis were walking around little villages
like giving nods to just British soldiers.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
But why there was a German sausage stand? Yeah, no,
not everyone's thought about it after that.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
That is weird.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Actually, yeah, there was a German sausage stand. Is that inappropriate?
I think as well? The land mines anyway.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Anyway, it's good to be back. What we've been up to.
I've been away six months since we recorded.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Loads of stuff, everything, loads of things. I don't just
go on then. I just don't think I should pinpoint
something now.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Especially nothing's coming to mind, is it.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
I've got I've got something to tell you, and it's
not It's not something I've done, but something that's some
somebody told me. And I really want to take your
opinion on it, and I think we could turn it
into a feature. I was't gonna last night. So we
were with some friends that the weekend and they were
telling us. One of the guys used to play rugby,
and they were telling us some rugby stories. Have you

(05:09):
ever been on a rugby tour?

Speaker 1 (05:11):
No, but I know that rugby players are I'm saying
that wearing a rugby literally wearing Have you rugby players
or drink pints made up of every spirit on the
shelf and then put each other's nuts in their mouth
and willies exactly? This is this is this is the story.
This is all they do.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
They have a good crack, so intended. So the first
thing they said they did on this rugby tour back
in the day was one of the challenges was to
drink a pint of your own sick. Now, this was
after you've been drinking all day.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
Rugby guys are nightmare people, aren't they. So here's my idea?
And were like, hell, I like? And I was thinking,
what like?

Speaker 2 (05:52):
And the way I see this sick is like with
bits of cheese and stuff and carrot.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
Yeah, I got carrying on it.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
And but no, it was when you're really drunk. It's
the sick of the alcohol.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
So it's not that bad. And then that was one
of the challenges. And then the other challenge was they
got an old Nokia phone.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Okay, you know where this is going, don't you? Is
it going in the bub? Yeah? How did you know? Well?
I did have. I did have did you know? I
did have rugby mates and occasionally would go down to
Bradford and By rugby club, and I'd witnessed some of
these things. And because one time I went and there
were someone put the double A battery down his japsie.

(06:31):
That's the hole in the penis double A battery. Actually battery.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
It puts the three five batteries sideways down it.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
He put a battery in there, and they were seeing.
They were seeing who could put the most stuff under
their foreskin. Yeah, that's the thing. I'm glad they didn't
come to make it. Wuldn't have been much anyway.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
So this this phone goes up and Abby is there
as well. And one of the first things Abby says
is not.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
Hang on a minute. But I was not on the
rubbitar I was gonna say, I is there while the
tail has.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Been really yeah, And the first Gab says is, which
is really quite fun?

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Is that?

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Whose fun were it? That's the first question, not like
what fun it was? So I'm anyway. It turns out
it was an eighty two ten ten.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
I had it great. And that's little knockier that goes up.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
And then the thing.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
Is it lubed in a bag? They put it in
a bag? Exactly?

Speaker 2 (07:21):
I've got some of the questions, and I said that
I think it was lubed. It wan't in a bag.
It was it was it was lube, But isn't it
it was in it? As it is only rugby players
on to would every time there were someone said a word,
they'd ring it and vibrate. They're different different, so look,
this is a working podcast, but my feature should be

(07:41):
we should have a top year style leader board of
where we ranked the worst thing to happen on the
rugby tories or people suggest, well.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
What if it's a night out, because to be honest, Tom,
I've just slagged rugby players off. I don't imagine many
of them are going to be listening.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
Like rugby players think they were good, so we were fine,
and we cover the base.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
But I think we just do it on a night
out and if you if you've done a rugby tour,
then send them in.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
We're specifically asking what men have done and it's all
going to involve things.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
What's the wildest thing you've done under the influence?

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah, would be a good one, and we'll do it,
and we should do a leader board like in the middle
of the ear.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, yeah, Well we're gonna have a screen there. The
screen is going to be added there, so well, it
will be digital. We should have like a producer. Andy
will be out of control that.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
It should be a big breakfast old TV. Oh man,
that would be good when it like a CRT.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Only problem is it wouldn't work very well on the
cameras because it would get flicker, won't it, Andy, Yes, definitely,
don't forget to cut the camera to yourself. What we've
invested in a producer camera there is, that's that's what
it looks like. My mum's curtain there is in the
production booth.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, we've got curtains up behind there, which my mum made.
We're all fair hands the short of the wall.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
My usual thing of jumping around this this podcast should
be like what it's like to live with ADHD.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah, you are right, and we've and we've pointed out
that we're jumping around because one of the comments in
the last two podcasts we did was had to turn
it off our way through because lads, you're all over
the shop.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yeah we are.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
And we never finish anecdotes, No we don't. But that's
what I've been up to hear in rugby stories. What
have you been up to?

Speaker 1 (09:19):
I rewatched the Osbonds because of the Osbond's the r
I P if you believe in heaven and that's going
to lead it? No, no go on. Do you know
what's funny? I rewatched those Bonds and it's very good,
Like it's really watchable. It's like a trip down nostalgia lane.
There's a bit where he goes shopping into a British
shop in la and the chocolate bars are massive and

(09:42):
they're just normal Cabre's chocolate bars. Our life is being
eroded away. It makes you realize when you watch, how
could you.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
Tell they were big?

Speaker 1 (09:50):
They were just visibly bigger than existing.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
You could tell three millimeters.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Trust me, I'll try and find the footage and put
it up on this video. They look much bigger.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
So yeah, but basically our lives are slowly That's what
you took out of the entire episode rewatching Osborne's.

Speaker 1 (10:07):
You took out that chocolate. I also took out of
it is I mean, it was exactly as you remember it,
loads of swearing, the you know, the kids to spoil.
Although Jacko Fine was quite down to earth. It was
just it was like watching a piece of history because
it's twenty odd years old. Yeah, you know, you forget.
But what I did realize is I've had a mind blank.

(10:29):
I forgot what I realized. Oh yeah, sorry, that that's
what I'm turning it towards the Osborne I think. But
those slag isn't the ground. I'm not slagging him off,
but we were a bit dottary want it and I
think I'm turning do did do it? But is that
he called himself the Prince of darkness and he did.
He was known for doing like metal music and stuff
like that. But if you ever listened to the Osborne
music or Black Sabbath, Yeah, it's not that scary, is it.

(10:53):
It's not like.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
Heavy it's because she didn't stand my life.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
But it's not it's not the Prince of Darce. It's
actually that dark. It's not corn is it like exactly
when you listen to the lyrics, it's like, what's the
famous song crazy Train. It's like millions of people laving
ass foods, which is also the title music to the
song to the show. But they're not scary lyrics. It's

(11:19):
not like God, like the rumor that a bit of
bat's head off. He's not a screaming on his music
and he's none of the princes of darkness. All the
lyrics are really nice. But I'm good with through changes.
That's not scary, that's nice, that's a good outlook on life.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
There's two things he hit the bat, which I think
makes him quite or a bit of the head off,
and I think at that time, I don't you know,
Corn and all these sort of hardcore metal bands didn't exist.

Speaker 1 (11:46):
So that's what my next point was going to be
Black Sabbath for late sixties, coming off the back of
the Beatles and all that sort of music, it probably
did sound a bit dark, whereas now it's just like philosophical,
quite cool to listen to in the car and Corn
and now screaming at that. Do you think listening to
Corn in another ten years time will just sound like, oh, Corn, weren't.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
The gentle beause? Literally Corn is literally talking about like
genocide that that.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
I never could get on board with Car talking about
I loved karrang back in the day, but when Corn
came put.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
It strip back on it, it were too much. When
it with Corn, I think they had one good one.
I was screaming.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
I was more like into stereophonics, aarlien Ant Farm, Weezer,
Green Day Soft wasborne.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Thing leads onto a good A good point. Actually, we've
got another feature line of puntwa Yeah, dead or alive? Yeah,
So this is this is one where we.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
Should add that the producer of the show is learning
about all this now. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
So what what would now he would have a button
with a jingle on which would be Bond jovies.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
Undertake the Undertaker's theme tune, so that will play a
bond and then Tom will go dead or alive and call.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Me away and say, dad alive'll just play a thing tune.
Then I'll just go like George Harrison.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
It is very tasteless.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
And then what have you got to say?

Speaker 1 (13:08):
Dead? Well done, and then we'll discuss George Harrison at
Great Lane Genius Van Dyke alive.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yeah, but the more obscure you get, it's really hard
to lease. Marie Presley dead recent God, you're not supposed
to know all this stuff.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
We'll we'll put choose some more Darren Anderton Alive. We're
actually lining up for another podcast that's coming under our.

Speaker 2 (13:31):
Don't talk about that. Don't talk about that now.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Sorry. But yeah, So that's another feature. That's two feature
so basically in order. Because there was a complaint about
the lack of structure, which is weird because we made
quite a big deal of the lack of structure on
every episode. So I don't know why this person't complained,
but it is.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
The fact that the fact that they openly said, they
turned off, And then I looked at our retention stats,
and our attention stats are into the podcast switching off.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
But we are very reactive, so if one person come,
planes will react to that. So that's what we got.
We've decided to go back to our roots. Our very
first show that we ever did was called Tom and
Dom in the Morning, and it was a radio show
that we turned into a podcast, way ahead of the curve.
Podcasts weren't really a thing. What year was it, two
thousand and eight? Oh yeah, So what we decided to

(14:19):
do is, after all of these struggles, we're just going
to go back to what we did originally. So we've
added structure, we're bringing features back into it so that
we moved the show along, but we are still gonna
we still want to converse because we feel like the
bit people liked us when we talked shit for an hour. Yeah,
but we wanted to bring features in to stimulate the
ship chat exactly.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
And have you we had a chat last night?

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Didn't we? On Zoom? Yes?

Speaker 2 (14:41):
And have you got one of the features that can
we and can we do one now?

Speaker 1 (14:46):
No? We couldn't do one now because I've not prepared
for it, but let's let's let's keep that as a
surprise for the first show proper. We just wanted to
do a show because the studio's nearly ready. People have
been messaging this saying where is it? We got a
message yesterday on Facebook on the Bantam's batter page saying,
waiting for more episodes of Manhood? Where are they here? Mate?

(15:06):
But here it is, so we're back. Next week will
be the first episode proper, and it's not going to
be called Manhood, is it? Well?

Speaker 2 (15:13):
No, that we're open to debate on this. I'm we've
changed the name and stuff so many times, but.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
It doesn't matter because not that many people are listening.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
I think it should be Tom and Dom's Manhood, and
then it's a slow change to Tom and in the morning.
Oh yeah, because I don't even notice Tom's Tom Dom's
slyly slyly changed the font of manhood behind my back.
We'll do.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
But I chose the original font, which is just the
font from the Oxford English Dictionary.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
If you didn't realize, I love how your head of
visual design and I'm head of audio design, are you.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
Yeah? Every feature that we do, I pretty much think
for more. Yeah, I don't know if that's audio design though.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
So let's go for the feature of that, because we
should really teachable a lot of this stuff. Tall Story
that is a very good feature. By the way, tall
stories where no, no.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
No, it wasn't. It was called tall tales.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
Tall tales, small story, small stories, short stories, tall tales
short stories. So tall tales short stories is where somebody
man or a woman over six foot five will get
in touch with the show and they will tell us
a story.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
About one of their scrapes that they've got into.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
The scrapes because there were tall it can be anything.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
But the rema is you can only message us in
with a story if you're if.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
You're tall, and we will ask for evidence photo you
had to take measure, and then we'll decide if it's
a tall story.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
We can do that one.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
If he's a lie.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Because Tom, when we came up with this feature, Tom
was at the Cricket Club where he spends most of
his evenings these days. Because when you get invested in cricket, mate,
you're stuck. And he asked, so let me get there
a couple of talk.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
There's always a couple of tall guys at cricket clubs
and golf clubs. Actually they're built definitely a cricket clubs.
So you may notice that Andy being.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Logged down specimens. I feel like out of my emails
one sec. So he might it on my phone. We
can just we can just pause it. You can do it.
It's okay. You keep teeing it up. I'll do a pad.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
So he was this guy is always six points deep
and and and he's always even eleven morning's six pints deep.
And here we go to seven, and he would tell
me this story and hang in a minute here, this
can't be this can't be true. And I went, this
is a tall story. I mean, it's not and I thought,
and that's where the feature came from.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, so it's not a groundbreaking story. We also have
a short one because thankfully there is a short person
at the cricket club. So she works behind the bar
and Tom just teased the story out of her. But
so these so I mean, don't Tom gave my number
to strangers, which isn't ideal, but it's fine. We've got
a tale. This is from Dave, who say that that

(17:45):
is that is a fake name, who's putting brackets the
human step ladder, which gives you a clue in to
the Sorry, so it's not a groundbreaking story, but it
is the first tall tale, and he's entitled this text
message a tall Tale from the top. We didn't guess if.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
This is a true or not because I don't, because well.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
They've got to be true, okay, but we can high lads.
I'm six seven and last summer I got stuck in
an ike not locked in like the viral story. Do
you know? I don't know what viral story was referring to.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
Is the a viral story about some people have blocked
themselves in Ikea and the other overnight will google that?

Speaker 1 (18:19):
So not stuck in, not locked in? He was stuck
at Ikea. My cousin dared me to climb one of
those big industrial shelves in the warehouse. Bitd That's why
I'd had a meat ball high and I ended up
perched about fifteen feet up looking down at flat pat
wardrobes like the Lego bricks. So he's climbed up those shells.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Which is a big lad to it probably didn't take
much effort.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Problem I'd taken a shortcut up by stepping onto one
of those display sofas. They put in the aisles which
had been sold and wheeled away. While I was browsing
from above, I was stranded like some sort of oversized
cart in a Scandinavian jungle. Tells a good story, I
think sounds very good. Staff gather below debating whether they

(19:06):
needed a ladder or a forklift to get me down.
One lad even suggested he's tall enough, he can jump.
His knees will absorb it. I would have, but I
was wearing skinny jeans and they already started making alarming
creaking noises tall people. This is a bit of fashion
advice for tall people. You shouldn't be wearing skinny jeans.

(19:26):
It looks bad.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Just wear a standard jean, wear a drain pipe jean.
And I don't think you can wear what you're wearing.
I don't know what a short long short.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
These are Japanese trousers from Uniclor and big into Uniclor.
The minute I've moved out of jeans that this is.
Sorry I'm taking away from Dave. Sorry, but I've moved
because of my age. I've moved out from jeans. I
need breeze, I need room for starting to get a
long bold basically anyway, back to back to Dave's story. Eventually,
a block from Customer Services arrived with a massive, flat

(19:58):
packed box, slid it under and said him for the
mound dresser mate. So I slowly lowered myself down and
stuck the landing. Got a round of applause from the
checkout cube.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
And when he told me that story, it didn't sound
much like It didn't sound like that. I think it's
definitely hand up.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
But yeah, but what he was saying, he's embellished it
for the story. It says it. I now avoid ike
unless I'm with someone under five foot nine. I don't
really know what that means. Anyway, says cheers Dave shortist.
What was saying, I think it's a real story that's
hand up. Yes, it was a tall tale, but we
didn't say that. Yeah, it's genuine stories. I see you

(20:36):
think it's a tall tale.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
Because I think I think he's running through some sort
of software.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
Well, I'll send him a message now and we'll try
and get an answer, because we forgot actually to find
out if it's real or FA. So hopefully he replies
before the end of.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
The way, told me it's pretty much it's similar to that,
similar to that.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
But so that's the first half of the feature. Second
half shorts short stories.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
So do not know we're not just going for tall people.
We don't, we don't. We don't want to leave out
short people as well. We're going to get them involved.
So the short story bit is you have ten seconds
or you've got to send us a one line tale
basically one line tail. Well, ideally you'll send us a
voice note on WhatsApp or you'll dial in live, because
we've invested in equipment that allows and it's got, but

(21:19):
it's got. It's got to be you've got You've got
like five seconds, it's got to be funny. Tell yeah,
I don't want went to chopping bottom sausages.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
Well, thankfully, Linn, which I think I assume again is
a fake from a Lightcliffe Cricket Club's line from behind
the Bar is only four reel even which is quite
short in it. Don't laugh. Uh Hi, I'm forel Evan
and once got asked to move out of the kids
eat free Q at Harvester. I was thirty two cheers Lynn,

(21:48):
So she she she took the brief very well, Yeah,
she did. Slightly funny story and it's short. Thank you
forgetting to thanks for the short story, and that's the
end of that feature. So that's the kind of stuff
you can expect from.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
Not only are we narrowing down the rugby place to
get in touch, now we're going down tall people, incredibly
tall people. Maybe the remix should be over six foot
three and under five foot eight, but you've got.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
We Basically we want to encourage customer engagement. Tom saw
an opportunity and he took it. Customer engagement is that
I said, no, listener listening are good. I work in
a very corporate environment these days.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
And then so there's tall these tall tales, short stories
and what was the other one?

Speaker 1 (22:32):
Oh? Do you know what? I forgot to mention, I've
been to Florida. After all these years of you telling
me how good it is, he's not listening to me.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
I am, but started already episode relaunched.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
I've been to I've been to Florida.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yes you have whant to talk about Florida?

Speaker 1 (22:43):
I do. I'm desperate to talk.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
Let's talk about it.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
I went with producer Andy, didn't I Andy? We did
have a very nice time. What why did you coll there?
You're jealous. No, I want, I want, I want.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
When you said you were going, I wondered how the
dynamic were going to work. Was it just like having
an extra kid?

Speaker 1 (23:02):
No, Andy, Andy? Having Andy there was like having a
mate who was also a professional tour guide. Do you
know what he did? It's that's good.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
But be Frandy, because you know you're looking after you
and you and Teddy, and he's got two kids of
his own.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
We're just like, did you just thing right? Well, you've
got to remember, it's like a second home, Frandy. So
I for Andy, and I forgot he's got mic so
I don't need to put words into his mouth. But
I feel like it was just like a nice change
of pace. Got someone else there, so one he can
show around, do a bit of showing off.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
He's had too much of all land of Florida. He
needs a change of pace.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Yeah, I did he behave.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
I was his ADHD in Florida.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
He got a lot of good value. Actually I did, no, no, no,
the opposite, the opposite actually, So basically, to be fair,
he did pick me up from the airport, which probably.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Said listen, no one listens podcast. So be brutally honest
if you got freebies you see.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do you let me grip name man.
But basically having Andy there was it's great to have
a mate there so you've got someone to talk to.
But also stop me wasting it. I wasted not a
fucking second while I was there. Everything was dom Here's
a bit of an itinery. I'm going to take you
to this because Teddy really wanted to see real America.
He want that interesting tourist. So Andy was like, perfect,

(24:20):
I can take you to local town.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
We went there were America while you're in Florida.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
Well, we went to what was it called Andy invented
town winter Garden beauty.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
Even that were built in like nineteen seventies, weren't it?

Speaker 1 (24:34):
America only started in eighteen hundred, And everyone's a sorry
when Agaden is lovely, it was beautiful. See this is
what he does little in the tale.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Because it's a feature Tom Belittle's Dom's.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Tails because he went he went with Phil and just
spent hours queuing at Universal that he paid for, which
gets me on to my next point. Because Andy's well
established over there, has got mates there, and he's kind
of like us making it makes mates who are going
to be useful to it? What is in what way
were useful? He's got a mate who's got the most

(25:08):
American name ever, Can I say it?

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Can I guess the game can get this name, Hank,
it's not far off. We just don't give me give
me a minute.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Not a minute, it's too long, Hank Chaired, it's Chad.
It's Chad. Let me get the say.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Do you know if you got you know, his surname,
because he Chared, I feel like I don't think.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
They have Irin. I don't think you'll get the Irish.
It's not that American. Is Jared Jones as well?

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Yeah, you just said his heritage of work whales, Jared.
I might I've got Jared Bozeman, Jan Bow's boy Bose
boy Billy Billy.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
I'm just gonna tell you it because it is very American.
Chad Adams. It's called Chad Adams, like Sam Adams.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
The Chad Evans.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
Yeah, but you let's not bring that. But Adam who
has got a fairly high powered role at Universal, And
what's his role? I've got my mate coming over. It
doesn't matter, it does again, tell the truth.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
What's his role?

Speaker 1 (26:15):
Getting frustrated? What is his roll and who I actually
didn't have the pleasure of meeting, but and his Tommy
is a lovely bloke sorting me and Teddy out free
ticket and and his family free tickets to Universalievable, not
just the theme park, the water park as well. That's
we had the best time. So that was amazing. You

(26:37):
get que jump. No, let's not push it to be fair.
We didn't have to cure that long for anything.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
Did we have the Really, have you ever been around
with him? And and if you go around with him
to the park, you just going to the front. Are
you one of those guys that goes to the front
of round and just gets on. Do you feel embarrassed or.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
He's loving it? There's no way that Andy getting a
privileged thing was embarrassed. I only been walking around like
Connor McGregor straight front. Yes, please, but but it was
you saying Universe look is amazing. And there are some
amazing rides. We got to see some amazing stuff like
the Jurassic Park ride and all that the Jurassic Park

(27:17):
area is made to look like Jurassic Park. It was class.
But do you know what my favorite ride was? Et?
What did you go on Eat Nostalgia. Yeah, it was
like going back in time. None of the technology worked.
They give you a card so that ET says your
name at the end, and when you get to the end,
ET just goes thank you. Yeah, but it it's great.

(27:42):
I love that they've kept that ride from the eighties
because Steven Spielberg said, you can have the copyright to Eat,
but that ride's got to be there for the rest
of your line.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
So did you get past to Universal Studios and Island's Adventure?

Speaker 1 (27:54):
We didn't do Alan? Did we do Alan? Sorry, that's
ungrateful for me free because that's worth about grand But
it's because when you're there by yourself with your family,
you've got the tickets and stuff like that. You're looking
at the tickets. Oh yeah, Island of Adventure and it's
just like, I'm gonna we're going to do this in
the most efficient way possible. We're gonna get in there,
we're gonna run to Velosa Coasta. We got laded straight

(28:15):
on it and you go again. I did. I did
the whole thing with my rides close. I was scared
the brilliant ride.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
Did you were you there for the pre opening at eight?
If you stayed at the hotel.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
We had to wait. We didn't stay. It wasn't in
the office. If he's in the office early yeah, right, okay,
that's don't need to go to the admin of it.
Is it not amazing enough that I got into Universal
for free? The thing that costs people the most money
when they go to Florida? I got in for free.

Speaker 2 (28:40):
I know you did, but did right? The best ride
is Popeye Ride.

Speaker 1 (28:43):
We didn't do that, did we? Because and he wanted
me to experience all the best stuff.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
That's literally the best ride. You've missed the best ride.
It's the funniest, right.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
I'm sorry about him, and don't listen to him. I
had an amazing time.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
Don't you like Popeye Ride? You get wet, don't you?
This is t Oh, that's why you're being its pocket.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
The hotel? Right, Hang on a minute, right, let's let's
finish the Universal thing first, because you're making it sound
a grateful, But this is Tom. If you've been if
you've been a tenor if Tom's been a fucking eleven,
a reef always got another feature? Is wat way store
that in your head? Store that? But so so we
did Universal amazing got it for got it for free.

(29:26):
The water park was arguably better than the theme park.
I don't know if you've done Volcano Bay, but it
is fucking brilliant. Yes, I did it. Unfortunately, as I
was cueying up the stairs for the first ride, there
were a Mexican family in front of me, and the
lady was wearing a bikini.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, shed a tacko out.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
No, mate, not the taco, but the ingredients of the
tackle was spilling out the It was so hairy, and
I nudged Andy and I said, anti, mate, don't look
up because she was standing a few stairs in front
of us, and it looked like she had Howard Stern
in her pants or weird Al Yankovic and it was

(30:03):
just sticking out of the sides and it made me
give up married physically. I went like, I couldn't control
the git. So if your husband he didn't ruin it, though,
you have a word, wouldn't you? You should he should
have had a word, yeah, because there's.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
No way can be respectful about it, Like you don't
have to, like it's.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
Like a jungle explorer trying to find it, Like maybe
she's just showing up anyway that that he didn't take
away from the ride. But on the water coaster, I
had my eyes closed on it. I was a bit scared.
But when I opened my eyes, Andy's son, Alex, who's
how is he is quite short. When we're on the ride,

(30:39):
his head and I opened my eyes and I looked
to the right and his head was just like it
looked like you're gonna come off. It's quite wrong, and like,
I mean, he loved that, right, he loved it. And
that fact, No, it was because he's little, all right,
and his head was next because the next strap is
not quite wide, and I'm like, I'm like this the
whole ride which which Volcano Beer. No, that that was

(31:01):
Veloco Coaster back at Universal. But the Volcano Bay is
brilliant because you go on ride, you can some bathe
a bit, there's a wave machine.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
It's absolutely brilliant. I've been mate, Oh you've done Volcano Yeah.
What's your opinion on the cocktail situation?

Speaker 1 (31:14):
It were quite good, actually we did.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
You're not allowed to order more than two.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
Yeah, so that was a pain because there were three
of us, so there was me, it was me, Andy
and Andy's wife Kate. So ordering drinks was a right pain.
So you had to sit within view of the bar
mat in a packed bar where you're queuing for thirty
minutes for a drink. That was a bit of a
pin in the ass. But we got in there. Andy
got the footy on his phone. We watched a bit
of football go on rides. I loved the Lazy River.

(31:41):
That was brilliant. Yeah, it's good. Although what happened was
Kate and Andy got in one little dinghy together or
in a romantic time gund the Salle River, Me four kids,
three kids all clinging on me, pulling me off the dingy.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
So that's how he used him on holidays.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
No, but he deserved it, deserved a bit of a
break because my tour guide for the whole thing, it
took me to nice restaurants, not just the chain stuff.
Got to the Angry Bison in what was it called again?
Winter Garden was beautiful. You went to the Angry Bikes.
I had a salad there, and I mean Americans calling
that salad. It was a salad. It had a corner

(32:16):
of lace, corner of sweet corner something and then it
must have been three pounds of bacon bits. It was
brilliant and I kick covered in an inch of ranch
s dressing. Yeah, but anyway, it was amazing. And I
was in a hotel called the Hotel Land. It was
like a Marrier, part of the Universal family. It was
a really nice hotel. They've just done it up at

(32:37):
the end of us and it's like a fifties themed
But the boiler broke two days in, right, so you
can have a hot shower done nice thirty five degrees outside.
It was I wasn't that bothered, but I went to
the hotel room said, oh, the showers, it's not it's
not putting any water out now, it's not just cold.
There's no walk coming out. And then oh, we're really

(32:58):
really sorry. We'd like to offer you five days of
your holiday back. Oh my, So not only had I
got Universal. To be fair, I've not had the money yet.
I'm still exchanging messages with them, but they're basically going
to pay me back for five days of the holiday.
Andy fuming, But yeah, unbelievable landing your feet there, and
yeah I got I got a looking but we had it,

(33:18):
and I loved it. I thought Florida the bits at least, Andy,
I loved it. It is good.

Speaker 2 (33:23):
Can I tell you how much we went. We did
ten days in February, by the way, and I forgot
you've been I'm not trying to I'm not trying to
beat your story here. When we went to Volcano Bay,
we didn't qq for a single ride because we went
in feb Okay, yeah you know, yeah, yeah, well straight
a lot.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
Didn't you back?

Speaker 2 (33:39):
It were hot for me, like mid twenties anyway, so
we paid up for ten days. Let me know if
you've got this is a baggain. We went to Epcot,
went to pretty much all the difer parks by one,
and I was an adventure Universe Studios. Volcano Bay, went
to Kenny Space and all that sort of jazz, went
to Tampa Bay.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
We went to Bush Gardens.

Speaker 2 (33:59):
Guess how much week cost us tickets, all in flights, accommodation,
and I did it on a shoe string. That's at
least ten eight pounds. We did it for I think
I've done really well, really well. I was so proud
of myself.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
That is good because for me and Teddy, the initial
outlayer was obviously not taking into account that I might
be getting my hotel money back. Yeah, I think it.
Flights hotel. There's three grand dish. Yeah, Because honestly, days
before A Books, I was on the phone to Andy
and I'm still good though, and I was saying, are
you sure you can get me into Universe? Is it?
It was like absolutely, I'm about to press pay the

(34:36):
three grand Are you certain? It's like, yeah, You're going
to be going to Universal. So I booked it and
it all all turned out rosy. It was brilliant, It
really was.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
My top advice is get the keep putting like up
there from my thigh. My tob advice is get the
evening tickets for Disney. So they do evening tickets which
are fifty dollars each dollars each and you can go
seven o'clock at night until one in the morning and
you get free food fee snacks.

Speaker 1 (34:57):
I'm going to go back next to April.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
That's we need to look at the in over the
spring and April the slow other summer do mid spring.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
Yeah, I'm gonna go back nextep because a couple of
things I wanted to do, Space Center Space and it's good. Yeah,
and Medieval Times do you know have you do you
know what medieval times is? It's like there's a restaurant
where you're sitting like a stadium seat and it's a
medieval theme and people jousted and they jouse like.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
You see the movies, and a bit of foods.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
I mentioned it to and I don't think you were
that keen. Yeah, I was having a bit of a comeback.
I think I don't stinks of all ships. Not wrong,
but it was. I loved it, and do what. I
even loved Florida Airports. It's not been done up since
the eighties. You feel like you've gone in a time. Yeah,
he definitely going back in. Yeah, I absolutely loved it.
Oh god, I'm gonna go. Oh. We also went to

(35:46):
watch football. We went to watch Orlando City, but the
paper shirt standard of football was appalling. I honestly felt
like me Andy could have been subbed on up front
and probably backed a couple, but I did. I did have.
I had too much to drink there, and I think
I said to one of top Andy's American mates, it's
real atmosphere's amazing. They're not I do spots. I went
here in America, but the standard is so ship. What

(36:07):
did he say? He agreed to be fair? Can I
guess he's it's not like British and I guess his name. Yeah,
the Americas are very amazing. Because Andy made the joke.
He said, I don't laugh, but all my American mates
have got very American names, and it was right they did.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
I imagine he's like, it is his first name like
a surname, not like Fletcher, uh huh. And it's it's
the similar to Chad.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
It's in that same category. It's gone. It's gone. Go on,
come on, Andy, give me a clue. How can I
give him a clue?

Speaker 2 (36:46):
He is a name like a famous person, really, Hank,
But he said, an, I don't know what to tell me,
Andy Brada rather chat and then he had a where
does he works? He financedeaf Sea World retired fair.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Enough, but he's retired to Winter Garden.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
There's many expats out there.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Yeah, well you had. And they had an ex pat
mate out there who basically looked like an older me.
And he drives around in a golf cart that had
a table in the back. Picked us all up. I'm
sitting in the back of a like luxury felt like, bort.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Look at me, We're good looking at them in gray?

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Yeah, fellow.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
So speaking of you bought some whiskey.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
With So that's that this wholetel was made to get
to the whiskey. Because when I was over there and
they took me to a bar called Gators, and it
was the type of it was like cheers. You know,
you get there and everyone's your mate instantly, everyone remembers
you you were but it's fake friendships. Well don't say that.
That's not very nice already. But but even if it

(37:52):
is fake, it's nice. That's how it should be. Keeping
and everyone. Like the first day we got there, it
was because from service in it. The first night we
got there, Andy picked me up from the airport and
he went, right, we're going to dump your cases at
the hotel. Then I'm taking you straight to Gators. And
we went there and when we walked in, he was like,
do you remember on Cheaters when no one walked and
went no. When we walked in, everyone Indy care already

(38:16):
there sozzled classic. But when we were introduced me to everyone,
and then the second night people remember you and stuff.
It is walking from the house, yes, anyway, and it
was pretty I was sweating buckets about the time we
got there. It was like five minute water they. So
Andy introduced me to this as well as the cheap

(38:37):
American beer to me, so let me look at this.
I'm going to tell you first this is called screwball.
So Andy was saying to me, do you like whiskey?
I was like, no, it makes me vomit. I said,
you like this whiskey? Trust me? I was like, no, no,
don't do it. And he got me it and I
sipped it, and it's absolutely it's so nice. I mean,
it's not ideal for it's not like a petey scotch. No, no, no,

(38:59):
it's not not at all. It's kind of it's all sweet.
Let me let me pour a bit. But it's is
it a bourbon? It's peanut butter whiskey. Oh yeah, peanut
butter whiskey. It is. Honestly, it's so nice. And I
begged Dandy to bring me a bottle because I forgot
to buy a bottle when I was there. How much
of that.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
Blooming it gets you free into universe? Are you pining?

Speaker 1 (39:20):
Beat? Yeah? Well, I said to me, just send me
your bank as I said, just get me a pint
and a chalice. Let me back on soft spill it.
But it's so nice. I know you can't. You can't
hear smells, but if you could, it smells like, don'try
imagine a tramp's breath. Who's just add a peanut butter sandwich.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
So it's not actually that nice, mate, it's so nice.
I'm good at describing it.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
Mate. It is so good.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
Gets into the birthday.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
No, that's that's your glass. That's not coming with a screwball.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
Yeah, I'm just reading the glass right on the nose.
Oh my god, it smells American.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
But do you not like? No? I do, but that
don't smell right.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
It's just tastes the random lot of Reese's peanut.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
But yeah, it is a but that's just why good.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
It's actually making it a little bit. What, it's really
nice on the palette. It's ten am, probably just down here.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah, oh they've had a sip. Now give it a little.
Let it sit on your tongue for a sec. Oh
yeah good? Is it warm your chest?

Speaker 2 (40:30):
That is heartburning in a glass? But it's it's it's
so good.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
It's so good. Worryingly though, last couple of nights, I've
had a glass before going to bed, and I've slept
like a baby. I think I'm an alcoholic. Now make
it a raspberry lo cure as well. Peanut butter jelly
yeah PBJ. I can imagine I'm going to stop off
at Aldi and get some cherry. Look here, yeah fake
Now what affect cure? Or great? It's great, sheep dog

(40:56):
really but this it's unreal recommended and and groupball guys,
if you're if you're watching, send us, she said, joke
of it. If you're watching, you never know.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
It's just our mates.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
But we'll turn we'll turn that into a you never know. Hey,
there are guys.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
You've just been listening to podcast over the Pond, Tom
and Dom in the Morning, Right, you're.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Making a joke if someone's on holiday in Florida feel
free about yeah? Yeah, because sometimes it's good. Hang, you
made that joke, but that literally happened to us when
we did Tom and Dom in the Morning, a show
called Todd and Don, the Todd and Don Show in
America in Texas. Austin, Texas contacted us and made a

(41:38):
joke said that it sounded like the Beatles.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
She would play the clip out of that. We play
the jingle, I've.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
Got the jingle. I don't think we've have we still
got the clip actually of them? Well, they're no visual
is there no? But we had like an audio clip
of them.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
It's kind of done in the morning. Listen to these
guys they selling the Beatles. I said, bloodcolo anyway, but
we'll play it right now. There's a jingle and darn
and darn.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
Yeah this is this is real. This is not fair.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
So that that's that's the Yeah, we had a load
of textans listening to us back in the day. Well,
I said, lord, there were fifty. And then what they
did were they created a chat We don't create a
chat room for him to talk about us on our website.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
And really it was all texted and they sent us
a big box for stuff like rattle snake yeh, heady days,
head heady days. Is that that's a saying in it
that's very cloak. Will which leaders onto another feature which
we want cloak. What we're going to call it coloaquial corner.

(42:37):
Every every feature is another fature was sorry audio designed
by Tom.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
But every feature that I come up with, my first
inteacher to put the word corner after it. I don't
know why. So there's definitely a better word than colloquial corner.
But colocal corner is Dom said one earlier, and it's
not true about me actually, but there is people that
it's drew back. It's called the phrase is if you've
been to ten reef, they have been relevant reef, and
that describing someone where like I just did it to Dom.
Then he describing his hold in Orlando, and mine was better.

(43:05):
So that's like it's like a one upmanship. And there's
some people in this world, believe it or not, who
can't help themselves. It's like ingrained into their g It's
not it's literally not me the camera. I am the victim.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
I am the both. I was pointed out, you're in
eleven area. I'm not.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
I'm the victim of eleveneth All the time. I bump
into people at golf club and I'm like, oh yeah,
what do you do? Oh? Sell nail files? Oh I
still Amborghini's okay, fair enough? What else you do? I
do a podcast, I've got a YouTube channel. W Milling's subscribers.
All right, Okay, no worries, like.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
This is the thing anyway.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
It's a colocalism. We want you to And this is
one that Dom taught me. That I use almost all
the time. Someone were talking about a good friend of ours.
I don't know if I should say his.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Name, Probably not, because it's not it's not complementary this.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
So, but then I would saying this is one of
Dom's phrases. I went, oh, yeah, if he's chocolated, eat himself.
That is an absolutely. If you say that in a
group of people, they do like it. It goes down.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
Well, but did you make that help? No, I heard
it on someone else but years ago exactly. But you
adapt you adapted it, and I thought that was quite funny,
like when you yet, well.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
I're a bit drunk and I I was in a
group setting and I adapted and I said, I if
this that's talking about somebody else, And I said, when
I were drunk, I'll just say again, just disclaimer, when
I were drunk, if it were chocolate and eat his
own cock, Okay, that's what I said.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
It were a whisper gold, a whisper a boost.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
But so, but I don't want to say those words
because this is more family friends.

Speaker 1 (44:37):
Yeah, we're trying to cut down. We're trying to cut
down on the swearing. We're gonna have a swear jar no.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
Eight times, and that never works, never ever works.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
Because it's worth it, because it sometimes there is just
no better word than a swear word. That's true.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
So I want your cloaquialisms, so you've got to give
gives them a phrase, Dom give him example. I told
you one last night, Oh look there's some dark clouds
coming in. Oh it's a bit black over bills mums,
a bit black over bill's mums. I said that on
holiday in Norfolk to a guy and I just got
just come offrom a paddle board. I've got a paddle

(45:13):
board here, that's right, And I just got off one
of them, one of them, and it would getting a
bit dark. I went, oh, it's a bit black over
bills mums. And he honestly looked at me like I
was speaking Romanian, Like what if it's a Northerner if
you go to Suffolk. So we went to Colchester on holiday.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
That was the thing.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
And if you if you're speaking a northern accent, they
think they immediately think you're immigrant. You sound foreign. It's weird.
So I'm like, you're going too a shop. Your mate's
get a loaf of bread. She's like, it's like nudget shopkeeper. Weird,
but what can they got a lot of bed?

Speaker 1 (45:47):
Oh? Yeah, sorry, you just northern. It's weird.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
We sound foreign down there in Suffolk.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
We do. I don't like it. I don't. I don't
like that. People like Rob, Rob and Alan, both of
our famous friends who were from the south named, treat
us like we're freaks, like our voices, like we're a novelty. Hey,
hey lad, I've got someone from north down he listen
to these guys on yes, so close. We want and

(46:13):
then what we'll do is yeah, explaining it. We want
you to send us your unusual phrases that would be
weird to anyone from outside of your friend group or family.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
Have you got any funny ones? Not funny like random
ones like if you chocolate himself?

Speaker 1 (46:30):
I don't know when when there's a football chance and
it's close, there's a cat's cockare it's close across the line.
You just missed that car by a cockyre?

Speaker 2 (46:46):
Cat's cockaine got cockare is one? But not a cat's cockare?

Speaker 1 (46:51):
Do you know what interesting fact about a cat's cock
is that they've got barbs on them. So when a
when a male cat wants to wants to have sex
with feel locks in. It goes in there and it's
fucking like like a fish up.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
Can imagine we're not supposed we're talking about this.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
Can we retract? Can they retract on demand? I actually
don't know. Well, they have much to be able to
get out. I'm not good guys walking around. Cat's a
work laptop. I can't google Cat's cock com but yeah,
that's a good example. Andy Cat's cock hair like it.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
I just keep thinking all these features were trying to
do is because Dom's got a real He's got a
real loving, a proper loving.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
On another podcast, don't you do it? All right, Well
we'll describe, so we're gonna do. I listened to a
lot of podcasts and Tom listens to non like. Tom
has literally never listened to a podcast, which is meant
I ever listened to Cereal once? Did you know that
in the Murder series? Yeah? Like, you listen to Cereal once,
which is kind of besides the point because it's a cereal.

(47:58):
You listen to one episode mid.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
I listen to one, the first one that was about
but yeah, that way, I don't listen to the podcast,
but Dom has got you have come on? I do
want to tell us that on zoom, But I'll tell
you now on record you have got an obsession with John,
James and James.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
Do you know it's actually not John and Ellis that
I've got the obsession with, or it's the producer Dave.
The producer on that show is what I aspire to be.
Is like it works for a company called Audio Always,
and he's a great producer but also a very very
good presenter. He's like a John and Ellis are very
different characters, both extremely funny. But Ellis is like a

(48:41):
kind of got his life together funny, really gently spoken Welsh,
great anecdote teller, whereas John is like a neurotic, great
anecdote teller, extremely funny. But who do you think? There's
the audio desig kind of an unlucky guy. Dave Masterman
is kind of like the smooth whiskey running between them,

(49:03):
like it keeps it smooth. Tell you is obsessed with
this podcast because it's my business.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
It's not a bad thing.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
I listened to these things and research and bumble around
like Daddy long legs, bouncing off the ceiling like you do,
just guessing you see see.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Tom's But I do all audio design for this podcast.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
Hang on a minute, let's let's just backtrack here a
little bit. Because we had a we had a successful podcast,
Banners Banning before we never mentioned it. The only reason
it was successful is because I did all that work.
I was I was, I was imagine a swan on
a lake. I was there, I was this. I was
the fucking legs underwater, fucking working out, staying up all

(49:44):
night doing stuff. And then Tom's the yeah, I do
a successful podcast.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
I think we come together. Well, you know you're talking
about Whiskey and John Jamison and does work together. Well,
train with a but and a producer. But who who
does the audio design? Who's the features?

Speaker 1 (50:03):
The figure? You know? That's funny. What's really funny about
this is you're right. We were going through when we
decided we wanted to recapture our routes and the essence
of what we were when we were younger, and we
went back through all the jingles. Tom had clearly spent
a lot of time in a studio at BCB Radio
and Bradford making loads of jingles and they're all brilliant.
That was great. Audio design was brilliant. Did it twenty

(50:23):
years ago, mate, that was the last time you did that.
They were twenty years old.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
No, but I'm good at think of ideas, very good,
and you're good with visual And we.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
Did have a we had a successful Cup final song
that you wrote with your dad. Yeah, well your dad
wrote it.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
No, I actually wrote. I don't actually know what. I
don't know where you got my dad from? My dad's
very clever. I wrote it in bed and I've got
the original Transport transcript. This whisky is really taking a hold.

Speaker 1 (50:49):
Do you know it's not even that strong? You though?
What percentage do you think it is? Thirty?

Speaker 2 (50:53):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (50:54):
Yes, thirty yeah. Chapter.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
So anyway, Tom's I love him with this. Ellis Jamison
and Dave Argreaves what they're called, And no, I just
I they've got good features, An't.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
There You're saying it is obsession because I listened to
loads of podcasts because I want to. That's how you learn,
That's how you yeah, yeah, but I agree. Instead of learning,
what we're actually gonna do as a feature called stolen features,
and we're just gonna nick features from other podcasts every.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
Week we are and this is this is I'm gonna
play it from my phone on here and I know
it's oh my god, it's how all the realms of
production and the anger a button, But this is gonna
be the This is the.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Jingle and it keeps him. This is stolen features. Every
week Tom and Donald steal a feature from one of
the podcast Don has listened to. This week, it's no
such thing as a fish And the fact is cats

(51:53):
cocks are babed. And then we'll talk about cat's cocks
being babed, and then you'll have to be you'll so
what you'll have to do.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
Andy has been really good at Fader because you have
to fade it up and then when it when the
bed comes in, will Donald say which feature with Nick
in and then you fade it back up up again.
So they've got good they've got those features on the journalists.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
But we want to steal all theirs. We're gonna steal
from from a plethora of podcasts. So if you've got
a favorite podcast and they do a feature that you
think Tom and I should do, email him what all
the social media contacts? Is it just at Manhood Pod Still,
you're probably gonna change that, keep it as at Manhood
Pod for now.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Yeah, but there is something I do want to try
and do, which I don't know if it's going to
be allowed, But then again, who's listening, Let's try it.
I really want to bring some features back from stuff
like Tier five, Friday and definitely and The Big Breakfast definitely.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
So like again, when you're talking about this obsession, Danny
Baker listening to his books, check out some of his
previous works. This is how you learn how to be
the history hanseled because he put a picture of a
monkey somewhere. Yeah. No, but everyone's getting canceled these days.
It's fashionable. But Danny Baker, regardless of what you think

(53:11):
about his views on other things, let's put that to
one side, was a genius. Like nineties television was basically
dictated by Danny Baker's ideas. He used to write scripts,
you know, the Princess Diana funeral. He wrote loads of
the speeches for people for the I'm not joking. The
guy is fucking smart. But also Friday Danny Baker. Yeah,

(53:31):
he mention Chris Evans.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
You've read Chris brilliant yea, And when you.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Listen to it like this guy, that's the foundations of
good ideas.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
We were brought up on good radio, won't we In fact,
you don't our generation, you don't even get good radio
these days. You really don't. Two the best local radio
people around here, Danny and Rose, who did Pulse Radio.
Then they did Hits Radio. They were literally kicked off.
They were really good, They worked really well together, and
they used to do a little quiz and stuff. The
old school radio were kicked off its radio and someone

(54:01):
like flour East will put on I don't know it
were replaced. And then that right then the random are
doing Radio one now, which we did see that at
four am till six, just realized who they are. That, yeah,
what we supports Danny Marlot a while ago and I said, oh.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
That's my life. You said that, I recond and you
speak Greek and because and he said no. Within the
conversation Stephen Jackie in the morning, we're on the pulse
for my generation.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
That anyway, that really doesn't exist. And I think if
you can bring it back in some sort of podcast
form without any music, we'll be fine.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
We want to recapture nineties content, when content was good
and when it was actual entertainment, not just people trying
things on TikTok.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
That was another feature on it TikTok Yeah another one.
A head of designer Audio design.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
We had a bit of a planning meeting last night
on the phone and we said, look, we'll only do
one of two features because we want to still keep
the conversation as a natural. We've thrown ten feature ideas out,
but we won't do.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
A feature of the same feature every week. We'll just
mix it up. We've got court file. Oh my god,
court File. This is unbelievable now. So the Telegraph and
Argus in Bradford this.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Was This was a feature from Tom and Dome in
the morning.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
They had a sectional newspaper where basically they just list
all the wrongings and what they've done.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
And I'm like, why are the public notice they have
to do it, don't they? One of the reason why
my mum bought the Telegraph and Argus. What's a record file?
If anyone my school mates? Yeah, yeah, it's mental. So
you know on on Tom and Dom in the morning.
We'd buy the TNA every morning and read out the
list of people.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
So it'd be like you'd have a nice jingle. We
had one, didn't we.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
Yeah, it went oh you naughty boy? Every time we read.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
And so then what would say is like the Boast
of a brad and you do it in quite a
serious news voice. The Boast of a Bradford show up
has admitted selling a firework to a six year in
year old boy during last year's bonfire season. There had
been complaints of underage seal bang fireworks a pup shot
based in a shipping container on Wetley Lane.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
Ooh you naughty boy. The problem now is that we
did check out court file last week and the crimes
are lord dark. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
For example, you couldn't do this one.

Speaker 1 (56:14):
It's not just a sixteen year old buying fireworks anymore.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
You couldn't really get away with this one as an example.
We won't do these, but do the jingle after the
live jingle. Man beat his neighbor and left him with
serious injuries into.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
Right, Okay, look we're not doing that. But no, no, no,
it's fine.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
Man beat his neighbor and left him with serious injuries
in drug fueled attack.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
Oh you naughty boy. Right, well, I think that's all right.
We've not named anyone. It's a horrible thing that's happened
to someone, but we've not said yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
And then also to make it a visual stimuli, we
can pick the mugshot of the week, because there's always
a mugshot in there, Like look, look look at it.
Look at this guy. It's almost like he's pouting.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
I can't seek camerll is showed to me. Yeah, Also
his face is well wonky. Do you know I think
I've noticed about mugshots and crooks is they always look
tired as hard work a life crying. You don't see
anyone who looks nice and refreshed.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
I always thought this, like if I were homeless, I'd
go to an orchard in summer. I've often thought this,
and it just pick on my own through nick some apples,
some cherries, and then I would literally find a way
of boiling them down to jam and then eat the
jam over winter.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
Like I'd spend a lot of time wondering, like walking around, Yeah, walk.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
Shoplifters should just wear a suit, look like you work
on the stock exchange.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Yeah, I mean that's easier said than done in it.
If you're homeless, you can't just get hold of a suit.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Of a washing line.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
You're so naive. Now you know you're middle class. I
think I think it was a sip of whiskey. This
sometimes happens to you when you try to call during
when you tried that that bottle in that bottle of
vodka that was unmarked.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
You mean the thing that gives me an instant headache.
I basically drunk a bottle of headache. Migraine, buy gouse goose. Right,
you need to end because we've done an hour, but
just for a go.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
Like definitely someone who's lost.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
I'm gonna we're doing a pub quarter that and I'm
going to give the listeners a bit of advice. If
if you bought a pub carouse, if you've done all
the pub crolls in your local area, what you do
is you pick a random pub in your local area,
and you take a dice with your six friends, So
you and five friends and then you each choose a
pub and you roll the dice and that's where you go.

Speaker 1 (58:45):
And that's what we're going to be doing tonight. Oh
thank you for that amazing advantage doing the dice changing.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
What's your advice? My advice, don't forget we've got a sessions.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
I want you to remember. All you can do is
all you can do, and all you can do is
enough but please make sure you do all you can do.
That's been manhood. Thank you for listening. Who said that?
I'd hope at all? It was a quote from a
motivational tape. I was listening to her feeling down last year. Anyway,

(59:21):
how many times you listened to it to remember? It
was short?

Speaker 2 (59:24):
Still, I don't know you remembered that.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
I'll send you it. Am all right, Tom. You told
me last year you cried a tailor swift in the car,
so you've got over that patch that anyway, that has
been manhood. Go to Banter's banter dot com for more
because all the manhood stuff is on there. I just
can't remember if we bought Manhood dot com. Oh, we've

(59:48):
got WhatsApp number.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
So what Dom's going to do is because i'm audio,
it's umber, I'm audio design enough visual, What's Dom's gonna
do is put the WhatsApp number on Spotify bayo. So
if you want to whatsappers in yeah, on the localisms
for your rugbuitar stories, for anything.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
And we do have some literally miss right angle a minute,
let make us you are that you are the content.
Let's end the show, and a whimper by me trying
to find out what our social media is pad right,
Instagram at manhood Pod. At manhood Pod. That's it. It's
the only one you need. Don't use any other social
media's now.

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
Yeah, they'll put the what's up in the Spotify and
also we could do some reviews on Spotify because we've
only got I think we've got like thirty or forty odd,
which is fine. It's a good start, but I think
it would help if we got some more.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
Please, yeah, please just just interact with us for God's sake,
and thanks and Andy say bye bye. Man