#32 - Don't be a Pair of Idots...

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Man Welcome to Manhood, Episode three.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hello, Hello, why are we bothering?

Speaker 1 (00:14):
I don't know, don't don't mate, don't worry.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Loads coming up today, I say, lords, it is probably
about four features we've got endother dead or alive.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
I've got a good one form. Actually it's a bit
of a.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Double Why are you getting straight into that? We normally
have a nice little casual conversation and you've immediately coming
in with a least Yeah.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Well, I feel like I've got to get it off
my chest, so would do it. I have actually got
a stolen features this week. I've done a bit of
we believe it or not Shifting. I've got a bit
of a rant as well.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
And you did put a shifting. You sent me a
running order.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
This is I'm literally going through the running order now.
One thing we don't have though is adverts at.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
The start of oh podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
So I was doing a bit of when I was
doing my research, I believe it or not, I was
actually listening to a podcast. Yeah, and they have like
I was listening to so many ed Gamble and Baycaster
Off the menu, off menu off. We're going to steal
one of their features today. As you know, I don't
listen to podcasts anyway. I listen to theirs. The first

(01:09):
four minutes were adverts.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, it's crazy, but the good thing about Spotify might
be the same. But on the Apple it's thirty second
skips and it kind of people that make podcasts are
considerate and they do the main exact minutes, so you
can just do like four skips and then you get
to the end.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
Ah.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Right, So you didn't tell me that as adverts as
a dedicated podcast listener, but that I like to listen
to a podcast when I'm going to sleep.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
I like to have the conversation and quiet, but the
adverts always wake me up. That's weird. I'll wake up
and it's like saying hello fresh.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
Those two are talking about like uber eats, and I think, oh,
this said night, and then a bit mean of thought,
I wish we had adverts because then you know you've
done well.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
We invented that. We did that when we did back
full of adverts.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
So we are going to make one of their features
later on in the episode of Stolen Features.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
It's annoying that this new table is on the right
because I'm left handed, so grabbing my tea is so awkward.
It's a brilliant edition though. These are old chemists in
the draw nothing nothing, These are old chemists draws. And
basically the story behind this is I was at a
Christmas marketing otly a few years ago and there was
an elderly gentleman with a store with a load of

(02:19):
furniture on, you know those usual like they've carves an
owl out of a logo or something, and he had
this there and I was like looking at it because
I was really interested in the draws, and I thought
this was like an original piece. And he said, oh,
I just made it from a few old signs and draws.
And he was really nice old man, and he said
he wanted twenty quid for it.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
So so you're telling me the tea it's going to
be a sign, Oh.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah, there is there you go. It's just made out
of tap basically, because the legs are just like cheap
plastic the mel anyway, anyway.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
So basically what we've done is we've added some visual
stimulus to a podcast that nobody watches.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Visually, seventy eight people watched the last episode. It's Brilli
a Bit eighteen that like behind you flicker in is
that disco. Have you've done that on purpose to draw
the attention to you? Yes, again a video thing, but.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah, we're really focusing on the video aspect of the podcast.
But the stats all.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Lie in the audio vision. That's true. School, that's true.
People listen to it, but you know, like I don't.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Think I don't think we should decided are going about it. Actually,
let's just crack.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
On with Finally, how's your weep been?

Speaker 3 (03:19):
It's been really good. Nico started school today, high school.
Nice started school high school, and it were really weird.
Like ABB used to love doing the school run. She
used to love taking them to primary school, and now
she didn't have it. She hasn't got that job to
do in the morning. So then we just watched them
walk off and I stood end up drive watching them
walk off, you know, very emotional and.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Like what do we do now? Yeah, it's the worst
you do the schoolroom. But don't take anybody, nobody.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
We've kind of touched on this before in podcasts, but
nobody ever tells you how hard it is to watch
your kids grow up.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
That's and I think that's the worst transition we've said.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
We have said this though, but I now envy people
that have kids growing up at home, like young kids,
because it goes in the blink of an eye, and
then when you get to the age that our kids are,
you start missing picking him up and cuddling them, calling
you daddy. Yeah, gone, it never happened again.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
And it's and I would I give. I gave the
eldest the little.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Pep flashing its sorry that he's really putting me off.
Just turn it off. No, it's fine. Sorry, yeah, pep talk.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
It don't look like he's flashing on there anyway, I give.
I give the eldest to pep talk. So when I
went to high school, my brother basically bullied me. So
my older brother was like, like pretty horrible to me. Actually,
So if I if I was, I remember getting I
told this before I would getting be at once and
he was joined in.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
He joined him with them.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
He gave me a few digs and he used to
laugh at me. He used to tell the bullies what
to call me fat fletch and all this. So I
was like, THEO, don't do that.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Mum over fed him last night. I used that that's
a bit of material to t Tom.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
They used to call me two teas but they didn't
know that because that was a household joke.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
Anyway, So what I said to THEO is I said,
you look after your brother. You do not join him
with the bullies. You don't beat him up and you're
allowed to get a punching if he's being picked on.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
And he looked at him when really so.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
Yeah, but you can't use that as a excuse to
start beating people up.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
So that I don't feel like that's good parenting. Of
course it is.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
His Nicka was getting beat up. The others are stand
and watch.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Oh, I thought you meant that THEO can get a
dig in on the ico. I'm not telling you what
my brother did to me. Yeah, sorry, that's what I
thought you meant.

Speaker 4 (05:18):
You.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
You're a sibling at school? I did younger sibling ginger.
She she got a bit of stick at school.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
What did you do to defend.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Well, I'm not a hard man, as you know. I'm not.
If I got into a fight, I'd just cry and
get into a little ball and hope that it didn't
help it. But my sister I once heard someone call
her a ginger summer when I went on school bus
and I throlled the guy.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, yeah, was if that was my brother had going?

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah, you choose, isn't you? And what I remember doing it?
I just couldn't help myself. I threw him. It was
like sitting on the luggage bit of the bus and
I just grabbed him by the throat and shoved him
down and said, ever speak to her like that again?
And then I got off the bus at the next
stop and I walked from that stop home shipping myself.
What if what if he's got an older brother and
foot I'm going to get back? So you did? Sure? Bit?

Speaker 1 (06:03):
You see that is a practically a fight? Yeah, but nothing,
nothing ever happened.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
What about your brother at school? Andy?

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Because you had you had a twin brother, didn't you?

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yes, I got confused, I got yeah yeah, or if
you got into trouble all that were Graham?

Speaker 4 (06:16):
No?

Speaker 3 (06:16):
But just did you took up for each other? But
what older brother? How old you?

Speaker 2 (06:22):
Older brother? How older is it old? Oh? Right?

Speaker 1 (06:24):
So it's just like me and so what weal like?
Did he you you looked after each other?

Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:29):
Yeah, I think I minded the normally, isn't it. Why
did my brother not look after me?

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Jealous? I think you were jealous? Jealous of you. Freddie
Lumberg haircut.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
Probably so, yeah, that's our first hair school school. Other
than that, back to work. But yeah, that's about it.
What's what's yours news of the week.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Well, as we know we thought we spoke about on
the episode last week, my granddad died and I had
to go to a funeral. And I'm smiling because I
get talking about these things. It's not fun. But despite
the fact that.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
Millis said it is still dead because it was news, Yes.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Is he still dead? Yeah? Unfortunately. Yeah, but I'd never
been to a burial before me, and it was It's
absolutely the worst thing you've ever seen in your life.
I know that you went to one recently for your grandma. Sorry,
I'm not crying. I've got like a flicker in my
left eye just going on. We already each anyway, the Yeah,
it was. It's awful, obviously, And like the bit where

(07:21):
the end of the like ceremony and then my grandma
had to go up to the coffin and put her
hand on it. I thought that this is it for me.
I'm I've ever seen him.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
That's the point that's when I did you cry?

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Then? Yeah? I cried? Yeah, yeah you cried.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
No, no, no, I mean I'm selling nail files, doing
business anyway.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
You've definitely got more emotional recently. The last time I
saw you cry was when Bradford beats Villa.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
We got into a CAD final, so that was that
was the for me. That's the peak of the funeral
in awful. The peak is when you go up and
you see your last goodbyes and you put your handant
coffin and it's horrible. So that's when I cried. And
then after that then you're just thinking about the Buffy
and the wake.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
No no, no, there's the real bit.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Oh no, it was a sorry.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah, so went to them. So we had to do
the slow drive and I'm just I'm just thinking that
everyone behind pissed off because you're in the slow drive
from I don't know if you know this area, but
eccles Ill to Bailed. It's not a short distance to
be going twenty miles an hour all the way, did
you No, no, no, no, no, it's like lunchtime. But

(08:22):
it was. It was fine. We got there. But have
you ever a look down into a grave when there's
a coffin in it. It's going to haunt me for
the rest of my life. It's it is awful. But
this is where you lower it in No, no, no, no,
they are they are professionals do that. Yeah, I know,
but as you know, I'm notoriously weak. I'd have been
the weak side and falling usually, and it's not a

(08:43):
competition by did you law it? In? No, no, no,
there was a they had undertakers doing it.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
Usually you get the grand grandchildren. You've got cousins who
were gildren.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
But they didn't. I don't know what you want, but
you weren't even an option, like they didn't ask. They
just handled everything they undertake and I'm glad they did.
I wanted that. I want to want to have to
deal with any of that. I'm eleven. Your reef in
you and you my grandmars form better because I got
to lower well for you. We paid to want to
do it.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Enjoyment anyway. I enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
I enjoyed it like it was you, like being a
part of it. Yeah, I'm so heavy. However, your grandmother,
but I didn't carry him. God did you put well?
Because the where the ceremony was they just look sad
out of a side door. But it came out of
a door and then straight into the back of the hearse.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
So again I'm not eleven a reef in you.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
But we carried my grandma from the It were weird
from the car the Ford Sierra Estate where Grenada Estate,
up the path into the church. Yea plunked it down
to the return trip, and it was bloody heavy and
I were I was carrying thing, it's so heavy.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
And I turned around and my cousin was showtling me,
was just walking under it. He didn't have it on
his shoulder.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
That is true because half your family are quite short.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Like why am I here? I should be at the
back and you should till the forward anyway. But yeah,
it's awful.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah, but when we were out there, I had my
grandma's in a wheel chair. I took her to the
edge so she could throw the you know, the ashes
to ashes, dust, the dusting, so she could throw it in.
And she went, oh, it's deep in it, it's deep,
And I said yeah, and she went, that's crossed. My
ass's there, so basically it's still deeper ready for her
to go in. So I thought that was quite funny.
I laughed at and she was laughing.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
It was like, and how many can you get in
the grave too? It's made for just him and her,
not necessarily.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
So in my grandma's hole there was four Oh my.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
God, for a woman who who had a fling with
famous wrestler Giant Haystacks. I don't want to know how much.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
Money my grandma's cravy grave grave. In my grandma's grave,
there's four of them.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
So she was the fourth. So your grandma's on top
on two cherry on the cake.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
But they were saying, because I like, and is a
room for me or my mum or whatever? And they're like,
no force maximum. So and if your granddad's paid for
that grave, it.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
Must have said for you. Well deep it yeah, pretty deep.
But you got fourign Yeah, I know, but there's got
to be a certain level. You can't just fill it
up to the top with graves with the coffins like an.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
Outside, get one downside there.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Anyway, This is grim, but so was that. But then
during the service it was all obviously it's awful. Everyone's
cry and I'm dead upset. They've got Teddy next to me,
he's upset, and my grandma the other side of me,
but there was a moment in it everyone's really upset.
And then the reverend, though, is reading out a passage
and he went as I walk through the valley in

(11:51):
the shadow of Death, and me and Teddy looked at
each other and go, just did he just quote Coolier?

Speaker 3 (11:56):
And everyone's heads, But there's going I take a look
at my life if I realized.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, that happened to me. At my granddad's funeral, I
started sinking Coolio in my head. But obviously no one
else there because when his elderly, all my parents, I
don't know who Coolio is. But me and Teddy just
looked at you and it was quite Coolio. That was
not the time, but yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
It's And there was the two just don't wrung me
and no, no, no, hang on a minute.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
You might remember last week we spoke about how Tom
messaged me on the day that my granddad had died
that he needed a business transaction sorting out. So and
Tom was very regretful. You may remember on the last
episode he was sorry I should have done that. I said,
that was very Tom. I'm really sorry he did it again.
I was at a funeral. He rang me my phone's
vibrating in my pocket. Tom's ringing me, and what was
it a business transaction? You want?

Speaker 3 (12:42):
It was an urgent call because deal or no deal?
Not deal or no deal? What we're going on? Bagging Hunt,
bagging Hun wanted to rearrange the meeting to three, and.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
I thought it was five. No, it was originally three.
You wanted to rearrange your.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
Head so that you were like panicking, going and eat
you ring dom And then I were going, that's weird
and answered, and then he just.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Put fumal exclamation mark. Sorry, but what you said sorry
totally forgotten. I was like, that is Tom all over that.
We are all just characters in Tom's livelife.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
We'll walk out to eat his life that way.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
That is true.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
You are the center of your own universe and the
center of mind.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah, naturally, that is true. Actually, that's the most profound thing.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
A T shirt sell some merchandise to our eighteen viewers.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
That's true. But yeah, let's move on from the sad stuff,
because we.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Didn't do was something I want to bring up to
the grave diggers.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Oh my god, it is inappropriate. It is ridiculous. Like
you get there, everyone's in morning, you're all walking really slowly,
and then there's basically spectators for the grave diggers are
standing there with a shovel waiting.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
For it to be vests walking a fag on the
lunch break, probably because they're tired.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
Yeah, but like, what do they work for? Council that's
smoking a fag? Doesn't remind me of one of the
funniest things I've ever seen on Twitter, where as an
American and he'd seen someone had said, oh, they were
smoking a fag, and the American thought shooting a gay person.

Speaker 3 (14:04):
Every it's every being bit in my body now. Try
not to do an impression.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
Of that inn.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
But yeah, we got there and it's it's all you're
all in black and stuff. You're all in like your
smart clothes, your ties on. And then you get there
and there's a grave digger in his monkey jeans, his
green counsel T shirt.

Speaker 3 (14:21):
I reckon the same too, that did my grandma's because
they look like a set of reprobates.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
They don't stand out of shot. So you stood there
like really morning.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
Because it is like that's another thing. It is like
a film innute. You walk through the graveyard, there's trees everywhere.
I feel like Batman observing a funeral from a distance.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
It's where they're just studying background, like get out a shot,
go seen your van over there?

Speaker 2 (14:41):
They are within feet They're not They're not like out
of view, and how is that they're ready to fill
it up?

Speaker 3 (14:46):
And then when I went back a week later, and
you need to check this as well, the ant filled
the improct.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
We were, I was there, are you there? They just
put the grass SuDS on top of them.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
This is another thing that's worried about Tom, is that
for most people that's a pointed moment. And I'm sure
for Tom that was a pointed moment. But basically, we
were doing a charity walk and we happened to walk
past the graveyard where Tom's grandma was, and he went,
I want to see my grandma. Well, and I had
a friend of a friend with me, so a friend
of a friend for Tom, and he dragged us to

(15:14):
the grave and it was weirdly jovial about it, taking himselfies.
You were taking self is because I would take itself
with the grass they happened, you did an Instagram, but
then you went, I just see my grandma. It's not
even filled improperly. But it's because they take the grass
off the top and it shrinks. It was like you
couldn't look down and see your grandma.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
So I thought you were bred of a council. That's why
I have a bloody job.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
It's just but yeah, the Grave Diggers was a weird.
But again, you know, I kind of like it's a
bit of lighthearted. Of course, I like that there was
something there to distract me from what was a harrowing moment.
You so basically coolio lyrics and so I was thinking
I was trying to find the funny.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
But that was because we So there is a raga
is because we're we haven't we've mentioned, we've mentioned, and
we auditioning for bargain Hunt.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
No, no, no, so we auditioned for bargain Hunt. It
might do you know this, Andy, We've auditioned for bagging
On and we've got through.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
So that's it. Well, we're pretty much we're gonna be honest,
we're waiting for them to well. Actually, so basically I
saw a thing on on the I was watching packing
them and at the end of it said they were
looking for contestants. So I said to Tom and said,
should we This would be class and you and Tom
loves any opportunity, so he said yeah, So I sent
him the application. They got straight back to us like, yeah,

(16:28):
send us a video. So we played five a side,
send them a video, and they were like, yeah, we
need to speak to in person. So they arranged a
call and we were our typical scatty, bumbling, idiotic selves
on the call.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
We were like, my mum messaged me because she watches
his bagging on it. She said, whatever you do, don't
be a pair.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
Of idiots because she was watching an episode which.

Speaker 3 (16:51):
She watched an episode with two idiots on and all
they we try to do is make each of a laugh,
and they got told off basically, so they said, don't
do that when you So then on the call light
I'm gonna be I'm gonna have to be kind of
We're gonna have to be a little bit serious, take
it seriously. But then we just couldn't have ourselves and don't.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
We went into full of podcasting mode. Basically, I threatened
to knock out one of the experts. Tom basically told
her he had never seen it before and didn't know
what we were doing, but he now thinks that we're
definitely through. So basically what happened was she was she
was laughing at us and stuff like that. So we
basically turned into Bradley Walsh job a Squirely Entertainment Central

(17:30):
and we're wanting to entertain this woman on this audition thing.
And then she asked the question did and she said,
I imagine you're in the scenario where the expert you
found an item that you love, you want to spend
the remaining budget on this item, but the expert comes
in with an item and he thinks you should buy
the item that the expert has. What would you do?
And I said I'd knock him out and just get

(17:51):
our item.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
Anyway, we go and beat him up and get her
out of anyway, and she didn't like face dropped.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
She didn't laugh, and she went, how did you get
to beating him up? From what I ask?

Speaker 3 (18:00):
That's not as he was just joking and I was like,
it's not very BBC. So we kind of skirted that one.
And then one of the questions, well.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Which presenter would you which expert would you love to
work with?

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Unfortunately I'd googled it minutes before because what had happened
is I overcompensated because at the start of the call,
Thomas basically made out that he'd never watched it, or
he'd not watched it in years, didn't really know what
the format was or anything. So I thought was I'm
gonna have to pick up a slack. He and I
made out that I was a super fan. As luck
would have it, had googled bargain hunt experts beforehand.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
And someone came up Phil for Summer.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah, Phil, I can't remember it. Was it Specter, Phil
Spencer's from Phil Spector's the guy killed his wife and
who killed his wife?

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Phil Spencer's the grand Design, not the Grand Design, that's all.
Expert was Giry.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Also, anyway, we got it. We nailed it, and look,
I'd watched it enough of it.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
I don't want to say he nailed it.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
The fact that I was, like, I can't name an
expert maybe didn't go down too well because David Dickinson
doesn't hasn't done it for fifteen years, and the other
one that don't mentioned the debt is he dead?

Speaker 2 (19:07):
No, we don't know what this In fact.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
That google, let's google it now you're gonna google? Am
I google in it?

Speaker 2 (19:12):
But basically she said, who's your favorite presenter? And I
mentioned this Tim guy, and again her fast dropped, he
don't do it anymore? And I thought, well, he's either dead.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
Good, he's done the typical Yeah right, typical BBC stunt.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
You do some padding while I google Tim at.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
So I wasn't unsure I was.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
I was like, no, the fact that I'm not a
bagging geek and domine but she said, if we don't
use this show, we'll put you on the list, and
she practically almost said, will definitely be using you.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
No, it is Tim. Tim Wallacott is still alive. He
just doesn't do Bargain Hunt anymore? Why Why is Tim
no longer on Bagging Hunt? His exit came after he
was reportedly suspended following an alleged disagreement with producers. And
we were talking to a producerrobably shouldn't brought him up.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
Interesting, Speaking of random celebrities, have we got the bed
for the Undertaker bed?

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Have you told Andy how he plays the jingle? What
button is it saved on? There? Which bottom right?

Speaker 4 (20:15):
Go h?

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Dead or alive? Margaret Anne Lake.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
I've got no idea who that is? Who's that?

Speaker 3 (20:43):
Bear in mind the series so far of dead alive
is too nil to dom He got them both correct.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Yeah, but I don't even know who Margaret and Lake is.
Can you give me some clues? All come into the box.
It's an open net. Tom's about to finish. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
tell me Bill, tell me who she is. No, no,
give me some background. I'm not telling you she is. No,
you can't just throw anyone out there. I could go
huncle Burke, Pinker dink and make up a name. It
could be made up. We got fifty to fifty.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
Say that alive. I'll tell you she is after you
said that alive dead? God, damn it.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
You know what it is?

Speaker 1 (21:15):
No, yes, it is.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Some clues.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
She in down to an abbey. The sun is a
perfect clue.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
Actually, page three model.

Speaker 4 (21:21):
No.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
She had a popular column in the Sun newspaper. Dear Dadre,
not ddre. That's Daydrea. Margaret and Lake think of the
Cosmos star signs.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
What she wrote?

Speaker 1 (21:34):
The star signs Cosmos.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Oh, I know it is. I've got it. I know
it is. It's misstic Meg Meg, she's dead. Three mil
that will look at that MISSTI Meg? Remember how she
got famous? So this is right.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
Sorry to interrupt. I'll come back to you on this. Okay,
this is this is this is goaty, all right, Scatty,
I'll come back to you. But this is classic. This
is classic Don. Okay, if you want to clip Dom's
adhd reel, this is classic Don, because I guarantee he
will know something completely useless about Misstic Meg. And that's
why I was surprised that you didn't get the name.

(22:11):
I thought the use of information is you probably knew
that when you're in a pub. Well do you know
that mister Meg's actual name is marg and Lake?

Speaker 2 (22:18):
No, but I was just going to say, you know
how she got famous? But everyone knows.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
I don't know, watching you a geller?

Speaker 2 (22:23):
No, the lottery. When the lottery used to be a
big deal. Everyone used to everyone used to watch the
lottery on a Saturday night show. Yeah yeah, and it
was good, hosted by the likes of Dale Winton for example,
who was also dead, but yeah, she was on it.
Would say when now we're going to go to mistic Meg,
and she'd be like, I see that someone in Leicester

(22:43):
might win this week, something like that. She never predicted
the balls, though, interestingly didn't see that coming. But then
obviously she got dropped and then just was resorted to
her column in the sun exactly. But she's I had
a bit of a had a bit of a thing.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
I say, did you find her attractive as you?

Speaker 2 (23:03):
As you well know? On back in the day, I
was into the early two thousands of the punk emo look.
I was really too girls like Avril Levigne. I like
the skater girl look. I don't think she did.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
I don't think she was a skater girl still, I'm not,
you know, I think that fringe would doing a lot
of work.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
For example, Claudia Winkleman got to be a wig. I
reckon that fringe is doing a lot Claudio.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Claudia Winkleman's look is inspired by Mystic Meg.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, completely, big deep mascare.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Has anyone made that? No? I think you're Have you
ever seen the early videos of Claudia Winkleman.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
By the way, Claudia.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Winklebum she was on this morning one of the most
beautiful women obviously.

Speaker 3 (23:42):
I mean she's still think that fringe is carrying a
lot of that in. It's covering a multitude.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
Shouldn't you have that? Shouldn't you have that?

Speaker 1 (23:50):
It's a shame.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
Google it right, Okay, I'll google it and i'll show
you what you but you you tea up the next bit.

Speaker 1 (24:00):
She looks she has got a fringe. It's just going
the wrong different way. Which if she's she's ninety percent
hair is coldy winkleming.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
She's like, yeah, the nineties good looking.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Yeah, she's got Jennifer Aniston vibes.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
There, yeahs anywhere there you go.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
You should email her that and tell her to get rid.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Of it while you're while you're planning the next thing.
I heard what is deemed to be the funniest joke
of all time. Go on, so I'll do it for you. Now,
what's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? Ah?

Speaker 1 (24:36):
Ah, one of them? Don't scream when you're in bed
with them.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
Okay, well, you've totally ruined the joke by absolutely delivering
the is that No, you've ruined it because it's it's
supposed to be. What's the difference between a vitamin and
a hormone? You can't make a vitamin, you can make
a hormone. But you've ruined it by delivering it like
a toddle.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
I'm one of those guys when you get the Christmas
crackers out and it's what do you call a shivering sheep?
And I always get the answer, will they jump or whatever?

Speaker 2 (25:06):
Yeah, but you didn't get that right.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
You got it right.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
You've got annoyingly along the right lines. Is what happened there? Anyway?
Just deliver one of these features, for God's sake with
an email.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
This is from Lewis Gillett. In fact, we've had what
features this for just listed interaction you'll be pleased to know.
And there's no jingle for this one. In fact, this
is just the postbag. This is this Intrench This is
Lewis Gillett. Lad, I'm still listening.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
You had so many features that I can't remember which
one to contribute to. Not a dig by the way,
a great episode, hopefully not six months next year, and
then a big kiss thank you?

Speaker 4 (25:43):
Right?

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Can I say that because you've printed it out and
that's quite nice, But you've also read it wrong because
he didn't say hopefully not six months next year, did it?
He said hopefully not six months until the next one.
It's one sentence and Tom wasn't even patient enough to
get to the end of the sentence. It just made
up the end and he thinks that I'm the one
with ADHD.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
Interesting, we should have it. We should have a this
is a good idea. We should have like an ADHD button.
Do you know these other podcasts? But he's about to
become virtual. He's gone do a burden Manning joke. Press
the buzzer. We should have a buzzer, which is an
ad A dt SD buzzer, and you know what the
sound should be.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Go on, I'm gonna google it now you're gonna like it?

Speaker 2 (26:27):
Uh? Do you think there'll be an uprising? How long
can the how long can they to bluetooth? How long
can this go on? What you do know the country
that everything costs loads more money. I'm not going to
talk about immigration. I mean it is putting a strain.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
On Sorry, but you're literally proving my point here.

Speaker 5 (26:48):
What like in my m's about me and the wonderful
fancy trancy fancy fancy.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
Like a tiger bounce him.

Speaker 2 (27:04):
Interestingly, though, that is true that all the characters in
Winning the Pooh represented a different mental health condition, and
Tigger was ADHD. I saw the original toys in New York.
They're in the New York Library.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
Do you think he was uh so depressed bipolar winning
the pool with the normal one.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
Pig that had short man syndrome.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
No, I don't think. I don't think that's an actual
mental disorder, is it. That's just what you say to
a short blow when he walked into a walk about here,
is he's going to try to knock someone out short
man syndrome.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
Before we got into politics, Claire Meeking as well as
been touched, Thank goodness, Thank goodness, shore back, we missed
you and another kiss.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
Do you know what I'd say? The rate, the engagement
to listener rate is pretty good.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
If it is good for eighteen viewers and two of
them have got in touch, that's hang on.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
You're missing the comment from the guy who said had
to turn it on. It was all over the place
for our last episode of the last season three. That
was before we'd made these improvements.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
And then we've and then we've got a listener stories.
So when you're doing politics, you got to do politics. Now, Well,
it wasn't politics.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
I was just padding while you were googling something, because
we can't sit here in silence while you google. You
were padding about immigration? Well, no, but I was just
thinking about the cost of things you and do you
think there's how much do you think we take before
everyone goes batshit mental and start smashing the gaff up?

Speaker 3 (28:29):
I've got I've got an opinion on this, and I
got on my soapbox of a day about the exact
thing you're saying, because we're paying millions in hotels.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
And I did say something and I.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
Was I said, I didn't want to make it about immigration.
I was just talking about the customy groceries. But you're right, Yeah,
you're right, that is mental. That is that is mental.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
But I probably would keep that to yourself. Well why
did I say it? And then we'll decide we'll live.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
In right, it's so easy to get canceled now that
a Polish millionaire who took a hat from a kid
his company has now gone to ship. So do you
really want to talk about that while you're on that
you while you run a company that may, I add,
imports foreign machinery. It's not British made, is it. You're
not selling British made drills and nail fight although the
nail files blade you sell blades from Sheffield, don't you, well, Joe,

(29:14):
But I'd say sixty seventy percent of your business comes
from imported goods. Yeah, so probably keep your mouth shut
on this issue. What happened on the Polish thing? If
anything made you're costing Britain. What's the Polish thing? Did
you see that the tennis a Polish tennis player went
to hand the kid's hat and a Polish millionaire just
grabbed the hat from the kid's hands and took it

(29:35):
and it got all over social media and that guy's
been canceled way. Yeah, but he put out a statement.
You think you do a statement saying really sorry, and
I've got a kid at home and he likes the
player as well. It just got a bit carried away.
Instead of saying sorry, it just went come on in
and let's not let's not all start turning each other.
It's just a hat, and if you say anything bad
about me, I'm going to sue you. Basically, so the
internet just went bring it on.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
But at least he got Do you not think if
I said something controvert virtual get us.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
Up there and ruined your business? I don't know. It'd
have to get us right up there for it to
make up for you losing the ninety five of your
income you know.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
I'm glad you're around, right. This isn't This is the
last bit of listening to interaction we've got. It's another
story from Dave, Mate Dave. It's the second in the
series of stories. Now we're trying to make more family friendly.
This does contain a not a little word and we
could bleep it out and the edit carry on, and
I'll just play it for the micause we're not going to.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
Say did you do that last week? Or was I
supposed to add the audio in last week? That's mine?
I played it through.

Speaker 6 (30:35):
Fine, okay's back good to see in the new studio.

Speaker 4 (30:42):
It was the summer of twenty fifteen. I was working
for a guy. You have no kids. It was holiday
Friday and it was about two o'clock.

Speaker 6 (30:51):
You are right, come on back up, let's go.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
See the chance. I can't do this anymore week.

Speaker 6 (31:00):
So I cycling on to Chelsea Ston Square, seeing all
these lovely ladies getting.

Speaker 4 (31:06):
Me if it worked up, I got home, so I
set myself up lovely. But what I hadn't realized was
there's that tour.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
I'd also been his wife.

Speaker 6 (31:20):
O you told that she could go home early, so
she was cycling home about ten minutes behind me, and
as I was sat there in the living room with
the iPad on the coffee table, It's just it's a
place that is.

Speaker 4 (31:36):
Like not overlooked by anyone.

Speaker 6 (31:39):
And she what She burst through the door and she
saw me, She went, what are you doing?

Speaker 4 (31:47):
I was, and I was like fumbling around, like trying
to close the eyepad.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
Lad.

Speaker 4 (31:51):
I was like, oh my god, oh my god.

Speaker 7 (31:53):
And she wasn't that bad other than the fact that
I left my bike helmet on. You just sipped it
up and took it off, and I totally forgot lost
myself in the moment, and I'd still got my cycle
clipped under my chin.

Speaker 4 (32:12):
I must a look like that, absolutely, Ron.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
Yeah, how desperate for a wank have you got to
be that you forget to take your helmet off? Double
helmet action. Interestingly though, very brave if you made to
send that story in, because wuld you ever admit to
Abby that you'd, well, you've seen loads of fit women
on your way home from work if you wanted to
have a wang weird a bank.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
Sorry, that's why I gathered from that story that It's.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
Why is he told that story in public?

Speaker 6 (32:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (32:40):
But I mean she she obviously knows he wanks because
she can't.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
Yeah, well, in our household, we we had a day for.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
It, right, Hang on a minute. You're gonna have to
explain that. Do you mean when you were younger? Yeah,
I'm string to think if your listeners to this.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
If you're listening, mate, just skip this bed, do that
thing that donecdirty seconds and I'll try and get it
in thirty seconds.

Speaker 1 (33:07):
Okay, three two one? So Friday used to be the
day because that was when I worked from home and
Abby worked. Abby wasn't at worse.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
So you're talking about it when you were an adult. Yeah,
So hang on a minute. Did Abby know that it
was the day?

Speaker 3 (33:24):
Yeah, because she found out because she came home and
I just I didn't get rid of it proper. And
the old the teacher in top at bin and she
went to put something in the bin. In it all there,
oh my god. And so it was fairly known.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
As back Friday. What happened to privacy?

Speaker 1 (33:36):
Thirty seconds?

Speaker 2 (33:37):
Right? I say, oh you're back you right mate? What
happened to what happened to privacy? Why did you why
did you have to know and have a set day
and well.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
No, because she ended up laughing about it. And then
I and I we was like, well, and then I
think I said, it's Friday in it.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
Let's move on quickly because I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
When we talk about toilet talk. Yeah, I know, it's
a bit awkward, isn't it. I think we you know,
we we're too old now. We were forever editing the
podcast obviously. Then I think there were one season when
we talked about with willies and boobs and I think
you gotta be out do you think without growing that now? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (34:09):
Forty years old, right, it's time stolen features. This week
of stolen Features, we have Off the Menu, Off Menu

(34:29):
of Off Menu podcast ed Gamble and James a caster.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
So have you listened to their podcast? Yeah? Do you
know what it's about? I pick and choose. I only
do the names that I like recognize. If it's someone
like some random psychologist or something they've gone there, I
don't listen.

Speaker 3 (34:48):
Yes, So I listened to the first eight minutes of
it because that's the only time I'm going to give it,
and four minutes that with adverts, and then four minutes
was their up in theme tune, which we could put
that in now, but would have to And you know
you know the premise.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
Of the show, don't you.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
Yeah, of course this week they were discussing the best
or your perfect Chinese meal.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
Oh no, I thought the premise was like someone got
to come on and pick there.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
But for some reason they got into Chinese and then
they were like, oh yeah, was.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
This a stolen feature or.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
The problem is their podcast? The whole podcast is choosing
the menu, choose in the perfect me Why I thought
we knew.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
Because I love a bit of Chinese food, we could
build that perfect Chinese Chinese Okay, yeah, I love question. No, no,
I'm well up for it.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Do you know what my press that I've done the work?

Speaker 2 (35:39):
You know, I was actually thinking about buying a special
ball for a Chinese, like a big like you know,
like a fruit ball or something from t K Max
or Home Sense, you know, like they have those random
big balls, getting one of those big bulls for a Chinese,
because you know, when you get a Chinese and then
you get your player and you put your tubs on
the plate. There are too many elements to a Chinese meal.
But if you've got a big ball and just put

(35:59):
it all in one bat. You would eat it all,
wouldn't you do? You know where I got this idea.
Me and Andy went to a place called the Hungry
Bison in America and they served me a salad in Honestly,
it was like a fucking fish ball. It was massive
and it was like this, but the salad all the
components were in a different area of the ball, and
you stir up yourself. I'll put a picture of it

(36:20):
on screen.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
Now, say loads of American policy do with that.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah, but I've only been to one that I can reference.
That's normal. What are you talking about, mister fucking eleven
or ef I've been to loads of places where you
eat fucking salad in America.

Speaker 3 (36:33):
Well, don't no, No, what I'm saying is what I'm
saying is it's not.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
I don't think it's a new thing.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
No, but that's where I experienced it once a big ball.
You shut your fucking mat.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
Was the salad chicken Caesar chicken season?

Speaker 2 (36:47):
Remember what it was? Exactly orange segments? It was.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
It was unreal putting a Chinese in a massive bawl though?
Is you Let me see if I can search.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
The hardest thing about eating Chinese is when to stop
eating Chinese? And you're always over order? Don't you always
over order?

Speaker 4 (37:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (37:03):
And does anybody not get sold of beebber chips?

Speaker 2 (37:05):
Like all right, okay, fine, but you're giving away your orders.
Start telling me your order. So like, let's go with
start as well, go start as each First.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
For me, it has to be chicken wings from a Chinese.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Interesting, I don't mind that, and I do like chicken wings.
Can I be asked with the admin of chicken wings
when I'm having a Chinese? No bone in there? An't there?
There is? Although saying that ribs honey honey.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
Less but still still messy. Yeah, so you're doing honey ribs.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
Not only that, I have a pre starter seaweed.

Speaker 1 (37:45):
Oh no, no, which.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
Interestingly is a con because it's just kale.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
Well you know what I started doing now with seaweed,
don't you what? Started putting in packets and intending it's
a crisp.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
Oh yeah, it's sous. Yeah I like it. No they're not,
Yeah I do. You're still controlling? Is this what you're
like with Abby?

Speaker 3 (38:06):
Somebody said over day you've got coersive control. You to you,
that's not good for you.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
You're stroking your chin like Tom Sellick or somebody would
have been told you're the sexiest man alive. No, because
I have not. I don't think I said that to
you football moms. No, I mean she's not wrong.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
It's after criticize the parking. Maybe I think regards Junior's
car parks the worst car pack ever.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
I think you do have a bit of that. Andy
goes there. I hate how the old park in the middle.
Why did the parking park on the side because they
think it's an easier get away.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
So this, this is what I was saying.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
She parked in the middle when there were a couple
of spots, And I'm like, ah, right, you started the triangle.
Have started the triangle parking so nobody can get out.

Speaker 2 (38:48):
And then oh, you do courses control you. I think
you do have a bit of that in you, but
not totally because I mean I had the course of
control when we were putting the studio together, and you
were fine with it.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
It wasn't even corrosive.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Corrosive. That's another good one, right.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
Play the togethering ding So chicken wings ribs, we're not
having seweed. I'm sorry, I'm not allowing it. Not allowing
it what the.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Idea of that.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
I'm sure the podcast goes like this because I've listened
to it all. Hang on a minute, let me throw
let me throw in a curveball, mixed start one order
everything in there.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
Yes, but sometimes you have too much salt and pepper stuff.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah. Yeah. Ultimately, at the end of the Chinese meal,
nobody's ever had a Chinese and felt like blossoms of
Bloom enjoys the spring. As soon as you finish your Chinese,
you're like, this is the worst I've ever felt. I'm
never having a Chinese again, I'm never eating again. I'm
a terrible person. This is awful. And then fifteen minutes

(39:44):
later there's a bit of seaweed left.

Speaker 3 (39:46):
Basically, it's what's what's more suicidal having a Chinese. The
film The Feeling after a Chinese, the feeling after McDonald's.
It's a close one in it.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
I think Chinese because there's a horrendous bloating in your stomach.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
After a Chinese gil you feel like you're murdered somebody.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
But the good thing about Chinese, and I don't know
what the science behind it is, but your body digests
it incredibly quickly. Yes, it does because you're hunger again after.

Speaker 3 (40:08):
Hour and in the MSG is all of the shop. Right,
we'll let them make a start for the start then, right.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
You think you can put MSG on anything and make
it taste better, Like can I put MG in a
roast dinner?

Speaker 3 (40:17):
You can sprinkle on there and it'd be all right. Okay,
it's just salting it, so main course down, main of course.
Now if you say sweets our chicken, no, no, no, no,
stop in the pocket. It's our chicken.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Is the order of the middle aged mom. Yeah, they'll
think they're being a bit edgy. I'm gonna getch swings.
Sound it's the.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
Chicken corna of the Chinese one.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
Yeah exactly. I think crispy beef and the sauce I
flip flop. Sometimes I have congpo, sometimes I have another one. Okay, yeah, okay,
but tell me this, what's the difference? Exactly? I've ordered
different sauce every time and it always tastes the same.

Speaker 3 (40:55):
And I love the name, okay sauce, Like, how did
they come up with that name? Yeah, it's all right,
all right, it'll do.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
Yeah, look call average sauce. Yeah, maybe it's an area
where do you think it's so destroying for them to
cook this food because they are all just what the
British wanted to taste like. It's not authentic Chinese things.
It's yeahs or they're making money off it. Yeah, exactly,
it's so quick in it.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
How it's made. That's my overworry.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
It's because it's all do you know why that I
did watch this video about this.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
It's one pan cooking, but it makes left because you're
and go, oh, can we have a mixed chicken wings,
seaweed swizz and beef cheap beef and okay sauce chicken
Cumpo Park sweets with chicken curried chicken curried beef, all
this stuff and they go, oh, collection in twenty minutes.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
But yeah, it is. It is incredible. Minute. I just
reeled off half the men.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
You're collected in twenty minutes.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
Yeah, so what's your men? Man?

Speaker 1 (41:52):
Is Cumpo Park?

Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Good, because it's again it's it's crispy the pork.

Speaker 3 (41:59):
It's got a bit of more text to it than
the chicken sop And then I love it.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
What's on the side here?

Speaker 1 (42:06):
I get I get special fried rice which is also
got meating it.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Okay, yeah, I don't get rice at all. I'll have
my salt pepper chips on the sanide.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
What's sucking up the sauce The chips.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
Although I keep them separate. I keep them in the
separate tubs so they don't merge. And I dip the
chips in the excess sauce, which is unnervingly gloopy. It's
got a bit of bogie about it. It's got a
bit of like body fluid about it. That's not good.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
But you don't do half and half. Everybody does half
and half.

Speaker 3 (42:38):
Surely that's like a low half noodle, half rice, half chip,
half rice.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
No, you get those, you don't get anything Chinese. Then
Darley Street Market in Bradford. The noodles I got there
on Saturday were sensational, sensational noodles.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
And what you're having for desserting your Chinese bank?

Speaker 2 (42:55):
No, hang on, there's more to my man. You just
said you don't get anything else because I'll have salt
and pepper chips. No, I didn't say I have everything.
Said n't have rice. I get. I also like to
have pron toast dip in the sauce. Oh yeah, yeah,
that's the starter. Yeah, but I have it as part
of my main. In fact, what am I talking about?
In a Chinese? You eat it all at one? Stuff

(43:17):
you don't starts first and has anyone ever finished a
full bag of pron crackers? Has anyone ever finished a
full Chinese? You never clear your plate on your top.
Chinese give you the prone crackers for one meal alone.
You have to.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
Nobody ever orders pron crackers, do you, because then you're
an idiot if you pay for something you're basically gonna
get for free. For just put some more spring rolls on.
We also get free spring rolls which do taste.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Like bird poop ah. That's nice, which makes me wonder
what they've gone in there?

Speaker 2 (43:47):
Do you know? I also like hoisting duck rolls?

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Why have not mentioned duck? Why have not mentioned that?
The inflation of Crispy Duck. When I were younger, you
could get halfter Crispy duck for eight quid. That was
a quarter for sixteen.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
Know what, though, I've got a bit of a tactic
because Teddy always orders the duck and there's always loads
left over. So that's Teddy's main, but it's also a
part of my star. You get the quarter half it
gets a quarter duck. Yeah, it's so expensive. It's not
getting any more. Half a duck is like, honestly for.

Speaker 3 (44:17):
A meal, I think it's thirty two quid. Yeah, he's
the biggest inflation iver seen in my life.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
Not only that, but you get the quarter of a duck,
which is like this big, and then you get your
your wraps. But there's always too many wraps for the duck.
But you get I don't know, a ton of cucumber.
So anyway, that's our main dessert now, Chinese iSER. Yeah.
If I don't know if this is authentic Chinese dessert,

(44:42):
but my local Chinese do no tailor spring rolls. They're
pretty good. No tail spring rolls or Ben and Jerry
is that seems to be a common thing.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
Something up that is definitely not authentic Chinese.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
Well, I think we should introduce a dessert in Chinese.
I have a lot of guava dope, the guava and bubble.
My Chinese has never seen a fruit, not the person,
I mean the restaurant. They've never had a fruit in there. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
I made home that's true. I made home made Chinese.
Last night, I made made sweet and sour chicken.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Do you have MSG. I don't have a SG then
bet it would discuss. What's the way I was a flavorful.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
I put a load of salt in but you know
I makes sweets, our sauce and this is actually please
do this whole feat to another level.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
It's ketchup and fresh orange juice or pineapple juice.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
We just boil it.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
Together in a walk with onion, pepper in pineapples, a
bit chili in their garlic, ginger.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
Jar was it? Was it all right?

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Lovely? Absolutely gorgeous?

Speaker 2 (45:40):
Because that is that because you're talking about Chinese. Should
we go for a lunchtime? Chinese don't have a Chinese
at lunchtime? Actually, day over, isn't it? I'm not saying
that is am I God, I would love a China.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
So that was stolen features.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
What you didn't choose your desert? Have you never had
a Chinese?

Speaker 3 (46:05):
Chinese don't do desserts. The famous has told you they
do the door You've made nutella, springles, not Chinese.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
Ben and Jerry's. They always sell Ben and Jerry's.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
Like Gatto, that's Austrian French.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
I've had Gatto at a curry house.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
Yeah, that's because it's westernized attritional.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
In fact, Chinese desserts, Chinese takeaway desserts. You'll have to google.

Speaker 1 (46:31):
Gobi desert is broke, not desert dessert.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
Well that's your spelling, mate, It's not the Google's fault.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
A brilliant right, Yeah, they use a lot of Yeah,
so when I went to career, it's a lot of
this red bean paste.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
Is that dessert?

Speaker 3 (46:46):
So they use a lot of the bean based in
desserts to Chinese and I've had it in Korea and
it's basically in plastic glutenous rice, mooncakes, sticky rice balls.
Basically it's a crap egg tart.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
The rice thing is a weird one for me because
why after having a load of eyes, So what do
you want? Should we have some more ice.

Speaker 3 (47:07):
And listen to this red bean soup? That dessert sweet
warm suit made from a dazukie beans and rock sugar,
often added with tappyocre pearls as a challenge on sounds
like a challenge on I'm a celebrity that sounds rubbish
has done it, So we'll just skip dessert, I think, yeah,
not nothing appetite.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
We can have a Taela spring rolls.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
Yes, this is the traditional.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
One, and that's it. I think we really don't.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
We'll got a little rant before we were, you know,
before we're tapping out.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
Chinese is like McDonald's chips though in it because of
McDonald's chips and the most glorious thing you can eat
on earth, until you're a minute in and they're turning
to plastic.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Yeah, disgusting. I actually just I just think McDonald's is
actually shite nowadays.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Yeah it is, but sometimes you're just driving past, you
think killer for a double cheeseburger right now, the Golden age,
I genuinely think McDonald's killed it with the double cheeseburger.
That was it. They could have just stopped there. Yeah,
that was just a normal size burger back in the day.
And they had to go too farm do the big Mac.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
I still wan't save the menu though.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
We went other night at to an Aim after being
a cricket club too late and it was two forty nine.
They wanted a chicken big mac, which was five fifty,
so I said, no chance. I denied him that, but
I said he was allowed to have two chicken males.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
I honestly had made his own that. I just love
a double cheeseburger. I tried not to eat McDonald's now,
but if I do, I just get a double cheeseburger
to satisfy.

Speaker 4 (48:32):
Man.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
You know what, We're all going to get so bees
that as a nation.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
I'm big and that's why I'm wearing baggy clothes. Now
big got to talk about that?

Speaker 1 (48:42):
Do I hear about madd McDonald's don't want you the
consumer in their restaurants anymore.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
Yeah, to either go through the drive through or delivered
to home. Have you noticed getting smaller and smaller?

Speaker 1 (48:53):
And also you're right if you get on the app,
they are throwing offers at you for delivery only. They
have throwing Yeah, that is true, Free killer, Gang of
Chicken and like delivery over it.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
I mean, remen, you're astaurant. Can I can save you
a job? I could pick up off? That is a
good point. And do you reckon that's gonna happen to
all takeaways because imagine how imagine how much lower your
obeds if you can move to a smaller kitchen just
kitchen only, you.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
Have to pay for tables, chairs, cleaning it.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
Well, that's what that mister beasted old. I think it
is defunct now he did beast burger, and it was
just like in America you can rent a kitchen space,
and he just had random people just renting a kitchen
space to do the burger under his But it was
totally unregulated. So me and you could have just opened
a kitchen and serve best burgers. Me picking my nose
and then putting the lettuce on the tack. Yeah, you

(49:42):
can watch a few YouTube videos about how easy it
was to do it and how different each time you
ordered it was.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
Because I think, I think, I think you're right. I
think the future of it is like these takeaways. Now
the novelty were going to McDonald's and roll and m'donald
coming out with his white face and get red air.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
That is all cost.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Have you ever felt like a more inferior human being
than when you're sitting in at McDonald's though, Yeah, ship
you feel disgusting? Yeah, dated, don't you? You don't think
the consumers for that day?

Speaker 1 (50:11):
You have poohim those toilet No, I have not, No,
I can't.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
I can't. I can't do a pool in any toilet
other than my own and mine. Clearly, Yeah, I don't
want it.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
He actually like.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
You not today not today waterless.

Speaker 1 (50:25):
Yeah, they do.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
It's horrible. Do you work on Lewis team, you know.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
It tells you when you're waning it, it's like, well
is this good? It's just like going into almost like
a compostor. Probably gonna milkshit mixed. Anyway, when I.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
Thinking absolutely horribly stink of urine.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
You know what, I'd happily get superd McDonalds now because
it'll get us up there.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
There's a podcast that doc sounds all about somebody getting
sued in the nineties by my pom for what they
have loads of anti Uh you know, the chicken nuggets
are made of whatever made it. So if we get
sued bye, if we get sup by McDonald's our stolen feature,
then it already exists as a podcast.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
Yeah, show on it in there.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
I've just been reminded of something, just being reminded of
something I saw in the supermarket. Jamie Oliver now is
selling ready meals and all the things. The nutritional values
were read. He had to fucking gone a minute to
take away our turkey twizzlers, ruin our school dinners. I
loved spam forters at school gone because of Jimmie Oliver.
And then it comes out with his own fast food

(51:29):
meals that are all ready nutritional value.

Speaker 3 (51:31):
It's mental hest. He's got a program moment talking about
healthy food as well. Did I just say, though, we
need to talking about food my bellies on?

Speaker 2 (51:38):
Can I just say that Jamie Oliver when he's doing
these one minute meals, like it's only a minute meal.
If you've got all the fucking gear. He's got everything.
You don't have to wash his pans. You know. It's
just like Pan's production.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Crew and chefs behind the canvras.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
It's like making minute meals, but he's using ingredients that
you've got to go to the outer hebrides to buy
I cats.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
I love Jimmy when my cat's him off all but
this old dinners have gone full circle. And now do
you know what you can get school now? Donna on
chips really yeah, gips and donnomy yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
And do you know what Teddy's at school? They do breakfast.
You get like yum yum's for breakfast.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
So that the bit what what he did for school
is fifteen years ago. They've just they've looked for a
few years. Got yeah, okay, yeah yeah, and they's all right.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
The Twizzlers are back out Starmer's Britton mates.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
The Twizzlers don't get back towards the Twizzlers sell right,
it's time for the Tom's rant.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Call the jingle time in the show. Let everyone knows
it's time to take a stance, time.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
For Tom's all right, a jingle for that.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Actually, yeah, we just played it Tom, it was added. Ah. Okay,
you're Dave.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
Getting canceled.

Speaker 2 (52:47):
You can't say, Dave. I think I'm allowed just one
or two insults towards you because you rang me during
a funeral. Okay, that's it. Now we're even even. We're even.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
You got me back. So I don't know about you,
but i'll put I'll give you a scenario, and I
want to know how you react. You all the roads these days,
it's impossible to get two cars down one road anyway.
Everyone's got three cars parked on buddy curbs. You can't
roads are roads aren't big enough for our cars alone.
They aren't big enough the amount of cars that are

(53:18):
on the road, especially in Brighouse. So you're you're going
up a road and you wait for the other car
to come through. Okay, first one come through, puts his
hand up thank you. Second one comes through doesn't say
thank you, what do you do?

Speaker 2 (53:29):
Yeah, in my head, i'm a bit like rude.

Speaker 3 (53:32):
But for me, I'm absolutely fuming and I take it
out on the next guy. So then I don't say
thank you to the next person, so they feel my wrath.
If they don't go slow enough, I'll get windowed down
and shout thank you top.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
Of my voice. I've seen you. I've seen this. I've
seen you drive it. One day. You're going to get bad,
and I've got a story to tell you about this
because it's happened to me, not me. I didn't get bad.
You're go on, But but yeah, you've got because I've
seen you in the car. You do stuff like you'll
do fake gestures to wind people up as well, like
you're behind the sceneal the other go like they should
go like that to wipe people up. But once my

(54:13):
dad did an overtaken money were a bit dangerous sea.
This was Tom's ran, by the way, just so you know. Yeah, yeah,
but your aunt starts it and we both get on it.
I'm not ranting, by the way, I'm just telling you.
In an incident and my dad did it, and there
was a bit of a road rage incident and my
dad just ignored the guy, but the guy was giving
it like you do behind the same wheel. The guy
turned around followed us, so my dad wound the window down.
I went yes, and then punched maddic face, you're joking,

(54:36):
not joking, person, God, but you really perhaps just say
thank you, and you know, you know my dad. And
so I'm in the I'm in the car and I'm
ringing the police Dad and I ring the blo and this
guy was like a builder, so he looked like and
I started winding my dad. I said to my dad,
We've got to do something about this. And my dad
went no, dignified, sat back in the car, wound the

(54:56):
window up, drove off, carried on with his day after
getting punched. It took it well, took it well. The
things you've seen tires in my dad's and push him
back and killed. My dad knows to be restrained.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
Yeah, like shawls, but it's it's nothing bores my blood,
but it's weird like and what's what's really strange, it's.

Speaker 3 (55:13):
Completely cultural to this country. I've driven in Greece and
I'm a different person because the Greeks don't do it
as a part of the course.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
It's like they don't do it in America either.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
It's like, yeah, if you're everyone's more calm, it's we
we over. It's like I've been brought up to do roadary.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
But it's because not yeah, but it's because you're polite,
Like we've got the British politeness. Like when you go
to an America to America, if you thank people unnecessarily,
like if you go into a shopping you go, hey,
how are you?

Speaker 4 (55:44):
Like?

Speaker 2 (55:44):
What? Yeah? Why are you asking me? How I am?
But only your business basically is not there thinking.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
But I think it should be part of driving.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (55:50):
I think when you do right, we're going to do
thank you today? What today's thank you? We're gonna do
a load of awkward roads are We're gonna get one
car down and we're gonna make sure you say thank
you to everybody. If they don't say thank you to you,
you put your winder down, you scream at the top
of your voice thank you in the lug all of the.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
Car, and you do drive differently though when you're angry,
don't you like you want to put sam your foot
down on the accelerate.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
It's actually dangerous tailing somebody.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
It really because part of my driving lessons were about
driving with when you're emotional.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
Yeah yeah, and using the horning and angry. We're using
your horns like to warm people. And that's where so
I got offered with a shovel.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
I got offered up with a shovel because I got
on my own once with this, so he didn't say
thank you. So I got on my own and he
had a trailer anyway, and it were weird round about.
I ended up following him and going around to a
traffic light, and he got out of his car, got
a shovel out of his trailer and started coming towards me.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
So I just bezzed off opot direct. Hold you you
think i'd learned when you?

Speaker 2 (56:42):
Have you ever been it? Yes?

Speaker 3 (56:45):
Sucker punched when Uh So, we're playing five a side
against a pretty rough team and they were really really dirty,
flying with challenges, and I was like I was winding
them up, which didn't help the situation, but was winding
him up because they were being so dirty and serious
and I were going brat brat to.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
Him because they were acting a bit gangster.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
At a big gangster. So I were going there were Bradford,
you do you think you are brat brap? And then
didn't like that at all, So they were targeting me
and I were like.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
You're the big guy. Sub place. So I subbed myself off.

Speaker 3 (57:21):
And I was doing like bitch, and there is a
cage match, like in a cage fire aside. Yeah, you
like growling through the cage at me, and I think
you know I'm going to go Now that's my time
to go. So then right, lads, I know it's half
for the game, but I'm going to get off because
I'm worried a b I'm going to die.

Speaker 1 (57:36):
So they're gonna go after me after the game. So
I got my kakis walked out.

Speaker 3 (57:38):
I was walking out, one of them came out the cage,
ran behind me, and Sucker putched me in ear So.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
Now I'm on the floor.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
How long ago was this?

Speaker 1 (57:45):
Like ten years ago?

Speaker 2 (57:46):
You went down?

Speaker 3 (57:47):
Went but when you get Sucker pud you lose your balance,
don't you. Yeah, and he wren't very big, but eat
me hard. So I went down and then at one
point this is really weird. Actually, at one point my
leg it was hitting me on I were like that,
covering myself and he was hitting me on my side here.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
Like do I know you at this time? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:02):
So I was in between his legs. This sounds really
quite right.

Speaker 3 (58:05):
My head was between his legs and he was bent
over and hit him inside and I thought, I thought,
he's not actually he's not hurting this. I'm just going
to pick him up by his legs and tipping on
his head. So I just got his legs and I
just stood up. Then he went backwards over my head
and landed face.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
He killed Oh my god, you killed someone.

Speaker 3 (58:24):
And then he were like and then so it all
got split up, and then the police came because I went,
I didn't ring police, What do you mean? I said,
I'm going to press charges and I'm not having this,
thinking i'd have a bit of a defense. The police
came and they went, you know, chatting about all. The
company asked do you want to press charges? Like, and
I went, I'll tell you what. In the part of
this football court, there was a play jim so the

(58:45):
playgim he used to his he used to take his
five year old to the play gim every weekend and
says to you, what I want press charges? But I
want him his son and from this old place. The
man you were like, all right, I said, they're not
allowed down here at all, including his son. Now, that
didn't go down too well with him. Yeah, he started
trying to fight me again, did he? And I said,
but if you do that, wart press charges. So they

(59:06):
looked at the guy, and the guy like, well, we'll
have to do that then, won't we. So then him
and his son got banned because I thought that had
hurt him most, that he can't bring his son to play.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
Yeah, I was probably hunted you down. Well.

Speaker 3 (59:15):
Then I bumped him to him in office the shoe shop. Yeah,
I bumped him for about a year later in office
he recognize you. Oh yeah, we'll give each other like
a bit of side eye.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
Bore me. The thing is you you you You showed
him power, Like how easily you could just you know
that if you wanted to, you could have flattened him
who now was the gangster that that's a similar sort
of thing happened to me. Like when I've done a
school play and I was just finishing it was at
the end of school year and the year below, I

(59:46):
want to beat up the guy who's done the school play,
and they met me in Salta Park and one of
them sucker punched me in the back of the head,
which could have killed me. I guess me in the
back of the head. And his mates were all there
and they were all like trying to pile in on
me and stuff like that. Luckily my mate came and
started dealing with the other guys. But I don't fight,
so I didn't really know what to do. This guy's

(01:00:07):
like trying to punch me, and the same as you,
I was. It was like fighting. I was just holding
it off like that, and he couldn't get near me,
so I was like, he's not stopping. So I volleyed
him in the in the ribs and I just like
bolly like and he went down like a sack of
spuds and I legged it.

Speaker 4 (01:00:21):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
That was probably ju stuff that well, it was more
like Alan as I'm looking up, I did shout and
then celebrated. But same as you, I walked away thinking,
I like, you know that episode of Homo Simpson away
can just get punched in the head for hours and
then he just punches them because when they knackered, I thought,
I think I might have that that Homo cincinnat because

(01:00:44):
it wasn't doing anything, like I didn't have any bruises.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
You have like a moment of realization that hav in
a minute it's not actually.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Doing Yeah, and he went down like a sack of
spuds on that that that we're secretly hard not for
each other. Don't forget get in touch.

Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
There was a sectionn't the feature where we read out
your stuff that you said us and we've realized.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
Now you can leave comments on Spotify. You can do
us an email at manhood at gmail dot manhood pod
at gmail dot com, manhood Pod on Instagram, and you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
Can WhatsApp as and the number will be there this
week because I've just found it. So the number will
be on Spotify description.

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
Thank you, thank you. I actually use AI to write
the descriptions based on what we've spoken about. Lazy yeah,
and do you know what, it's so good. It's so
good that it went in, sir, WhatsApp number here because
it had heard you say that WhatsApp numbers can have
been there. Yeah, we're finished, it's over for us all.
In fact, I will end on this note. My dad
got caught out by AI because I was I was

(01:01:42):
around at their house and he said, have you seen
Harrison Ford now ninety two? Said, Harrison's Ford is not
ninety two, Dad, He's like in his eighties. And no, no,
he is ninety two. I saw it on the internet
and he brought a pit. He said, I saw a
picture of in with his birthday cake and his family
and it was AI. Harrison Ford were a cake that
said ninety two on it with his family around them,
and I could tell it was a I. But my
dad had totally all for it. He only would want it.

(01:02:04):
He's old. Sorry that you had to hear that, Dad.
He didn't listen. My dad had me when he were
twenty six. He's not that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
Hal's got a call to me the brisk Fine.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
Bye. We'll be back with another episode of Manhood next week.
Manhood