Part 2- Eulogy & Stories & Reflections on Grandpa Kirshner (post leva'ya)

Part 2- Eulogy & Stories & Reflections on Grandpa Kirshner (post leva'ya)

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Part two on Grandpa April twenty first, twenty twenty five.
You are listening to a podcast called Torah with Sims You.

(00:24):
We're now holding after the Lava, and I just wanted
to add on some thoughts of things I heard at
the Leva, and before we do, I'm going to read
to you this additional reflection that I wrote that might
be a real eye opener to some to some of you,

(00:45):
I hope Dina's listening and DOBIE's listening what I wrote.
It's like this, Please don't allow me to share a
reflection about the loss that all of us feel and
how we may feel it in different ways, but not

(01:06):
necessarily less painful, just different. The children and those closest
to Grandpa feel the loss most intensely on an emotional level,
Dovie listening, but ultimately regarding Koch and the continuity is
that of being shomne toro imitzos. The ones who have

(01:27):
the greatest loss are the children like Yurukom, Shalom and Camia.
May have alluded to this at the Levaya regarding his
own children. The first thing Dovie said might have been
the second thing. I don't know. The first thing dbe seven,
he heard about Grandpa's passing at least in this house.
Was I feel so bad for yukomshelam right? Or did

(01:49):
Dove not say that when a multi Sodovie said that
when a multi generational Shomri Toro amitzvo's family loses a
spiritual power, else, like Grandpa, you can no longer take
anything for granted in transmitting the massorro. For me, Grandpa's
greatest impact on my life was the comfort he brought.

(02:12):
The greatest feeling of failure or devastation I would feel
in life is if the flame of Tora is not
passed on to each of my children. So to me,
Grandpa provided a comfort because I had confidence that this
flame would be transmitted. Perhaps it was wrong for me
to have this confidence, but I did. Grandpa combined the

(02:34):
three most essential ingredients in transmitting this flame all into one,
the combination of shopists, Simhla and Toro, including pet which
was being delivered all at once. There are very few
families that have this, very very few. Our community here

(02:55):
in Chicago has been blessed with expert Macankran and we've
been blessed with that create of the highest quality ruach
and to me that show is calcasidin which I don't
even dominate anymore, but almost everybody remains from to my knowledge,
but not everyone. It's been said that more important than

(03:17):
the Jews keeping Shabists is the way Shabis has kept
the Jews tosh Aboupe is also of a similar thing,
and with school comes resentment. Grandpa's family had a one
hundred success rate in observance with him gone. The parents
of the children that will never have lived through such

(03:40):
experience are the ones that have every right to feel
fear and are not only well justified. The fear is
appropriate and is an indicator that you care about Toro
and are in touch with the bitter gullis that we
are in the daily spiritual attacks on Yiddish Kai, they
continuously get stronger in our generation the equas of the Machico.

(04:02):
Grandpa was a pillar, a foundation that has been removed.
Those of us that had him as a rebbe or
father or grandfather are most fortunate. The hopeful message is
that after someone is niftter, their good meadows are like hefker,

(04:22):
So perhaps we could bring some of it back into
the family. I wish I could end off on a
good note, but our loss is very real. Niashm comfort
the vailim Nasham, watch over the younger generations and guide
them in the path of Torah in a way that
this flame is transmitted. Grandpa would train people to be electricians.

(04:56):
Now you have to realize, though, the more people that
you train, the less money you're gonna make. But it
seemed like to Grandpa it was more about the people
who needed training. They needed the money, and it really
wasn't part of the judgment. The fact that he's gonna
make less money wasn't part of the judgement. And that's
because he believed that Parnassa comes from Ashem. He's actually

(05:18):
not gonna make any less money just because he's training people,
because that's only on paper, that's only Bedretavo that about
Shem is providing the Parnasso, So his he's stotless, is
the same, So it didn't really concern it. In the fact,
he could very well be just the opposite. It could
very well be that he preferred to do it in

(05:39):
this way because that way, in a certain way, he's
giving sadako in a very dignified way, and getting a
person a job is really the highest level of sadako
because we didn't speak about I don't think we spoke
about a muna. I don't think we spoke about as
a muna. He spoke about Toro. He spoke about crucial

(06:01):
meaning it's important and important point of Grandpa to say,
if we're gonna do, if we're gonna do a complete job.
Whenever I would see Grandpa walking to Shoal, it was
like you never knew what the eta would be because

(06:25):
it was like a traffic jam. Now you could ask
a question, what does that mean? There's a traffic jam?
So Dobe, what do you think that means? Have you
ever seen Grandpa walk to Shoal, Like just from his
house to go across the street, people are surrounding him, people,
every person he runs into. He acknowledged like he could

(06:46):
leave his house. You know, I I don't have like
any witnessed time of when he left his house. I'm
sure there are others that do. But all he has
to do is cross the street. But don't think it's
so simple that that journey is just a five minute
journey or a ten minute journey. Because even if it's

(07:07):
just one person who he runs into, he'll acknowledge that person,
which turns into a short schmooz, and then the chances
of running into guy number two is increased because he
runs to the guide number two. And then I think
it's a good point that it shows people enjoy talking

(07:29):
to him and he acknowledges each person, not just in
a greeting, but apparently it's even a little bit more.
Maybe each person even walks away with a little bit
of a laugh. We said it to Levia. There people
in the community that call him a rebey and you'll

(07:51):
come show him by the way is crying. And the
reason why he's crying perhaps because his no Shama feels
the loss. He doesn't know about the loss, because the
shama knows the laws. So he's crying because you don't
want He thinks he wants mommy, but so usually he
only wants mommy when mommy's in the room. He's usually

(08:11):
perfectly fine the mommy's out of the room. And the
truth is the only reason perhaps why he's not called
rebby isn't a nievas. It's like he just he doesn't
advertise him stuff like that. But therefore it makes him
very approachable by everyone. Not only that, but the style
of his share is dialogue form. That's a very important point.

(08:35):
You know, when I was in chaplaincy. When I was
taking chaplaincy, we actually ran into the COVID lockdown, and
then the COVID lockdown the hospital decided in the beginning,
the hospital decided that we're not allowed in even the
chaplain interns now Barkashem. At that point, we already worked

(08:56):
enough hours that we were still getting credit, already did
our four hundred hours, but I took an additional unit
of choclatcy over the summer, and at that point the
hospital was still not allowing people in. So the CPE educator,
she said, you know, in the non Jewish world they

(09:19):
call it ministry. It's more like, I don't know what
the Jewish term with I don't know if there is
a Jewish term. It's just you're in avid Ashem. So
in order to get credit, you don't have to be
visiting sick people in the hospital. But that's generally the
way it's done. But at that point the hospital was

(09:42):
no longer an option. So she started to say people
can get credit for giving classes in their place of worship,
which for us Jews is a synagogue, we can get
credit for giving classes. But she said the only way
she'll give credit for giving classes is if it's done
in dialogue form, which means what she's saying is that

(10:06):
a class given in dialogue form is also a way
of providing spiritual support in the you know, in her terms,
spiritual support to that individual. Now, how does it do that?
Because it validates when you do a dialogue form as
a opposed to just teaching being an orator. So every

(10:30):
time the person speaks, what you're showing, you're showing you're
interested in hearing what your students have to say. Not
only that you're that itself is validating them, but not
only that in this case, it's they don't even raise
their hand. It's mamish a dialogue form that itself is validating.

(10:51):
It's almost like putting everyone on the same level. It's
a completely different style of giving a share. So it's
a very unique share. We heard today that this shire
was given twice a week. Originally it was a mob
and share given once a week, but then it really
was a success. So it was a mob and share
that was given twice a week. But there's another very

(11:14):
important point to the fact that this shaar was in dialogue.
So it's not only that you're validating the people in
the share by first of all, the rebbe doesn't have
this isn't put on like this pedestal. And more importantly,
you're interested in hearing what each person has to say.

(11:37):
But there's two other additional points that are happening here,
two other advantages. The first thing is that you're I
guess it's one and the same. You're The teaching is
cater made for the student. There's no specific curriculum that
he would give, and he's not obligated to stick to

(12:00):
a curriculum because this was outside the school system. I
always thought this was always the best way. He would
go off on tangents, but you know, in this type
of a setting, that's really the best way. What we
mean by going off on tangents not as an orator
going off on tangents, but in a dialogue form. What
that means is he's letting the students guide the teaching.

(12:23):
He's still teaching Toro, so they The way I envision
it is that the share started off as a moblem share,
but the mobm share letire became the springboard for whatever
topics whatever Torah topics that the toll medium, and he
may not have even called them tell medium, but they
were tell me them that to tell medium needed to hear.

(12:46):
So they really got a top notch quality over here.
They you know, they got exactly what they needed to hear,
and it was done in a certain way, in a
one to one conversation. So that's that was something unique.

(13:08):
You know when you speak about once you realize that
he actually was a rebbe, and because he disguised himself
as an electrician, so it takes a little while maybe
to really think about that. Well, if you don't teach
about the Rebbie's teaching style, you don't you don't teach
about that, so you really haven't covered much at all.

(13:30):
So I thought that was something important. So we now
we just covered a mona. We covered the teaching style
which is which isn't very a neve stick away to
validate people. That's important because you know, when you go
to the Levayah and you heard about how he was

(13:50):
always right, he was he had the confidence he had,
so it becomes extra important to point out that, okay,
he had a lot of but he validated people. He
was interested in hearing from them. So that's a that's
an important balance a well balanced individual. The bug money

(14:24):
would be cashed for dollars after yan div and see
the bug stood for Bubby and Grandpa. That's it was
rush Jay tables for Bubby and Grandpa. That's why it
was called bug money. That it turned into Grandpa money

(14:44):
and that was exchanged for ice cream. Ice cream with Grandpa.
That was something unique, a creative thing that not all
families have. The the afi coman present families have that idea,
but as a way of encouraging each person to participate,
that was that's something very special, especially when it's want

(15:06):
the satyr to end as late as possible. I mean,
I remember when I was a kid, it was like
what time did you say to end? Like it's like
oh my three am Like oh. It was always like
a race which the opposite which one can end the latest.
But as adults like people want to end it early.
But something about Grandpa three or four, but someone like

(15:29):
grandpa and I remember having Newman spoke about this many
years ago. It's really a kursioner trade. It's to just
that's the ice cream picture. It's to just embellish. I
think that's the moment, just to to live. You're living
outside of time a little bit. You know, when we
went to like Geneva, there were no clocks anywhere and

(15:50):
and it it was a very relaxing place and people
were wondering was it done on purpose? Was it? But
when you have no clocks, so things are very relaxing,
it's very relaxed. They have no visible security guards and
it just becomes a very relaxed place. So when you're
when he was doing this later the Afi Komen's man,

(16:11):
things were just it was like mylominasman. It's just like
what was said today at the Levaya. It's when he
did a project, it's he does it until it's complete.
It's not he's working on the project from seven pm
to nine pm and then coming back from what I
understood is that he does the project and he leaves

(16:33):
when it's complete. Nemia spoke about that. Uh how at
Nekamya's house they had to redo the wiring three times
and when it was complete, that's when it's done. So
it's done to its full potential. And because of that,
I'm trying to do it, make this podcast, make it complete. Okay,

(16:55):
we spoke thirty minutes beforehand. But I mean had maybe
you'll never get it complete, but you do whatever you
can do. After something was fixed, he would say. You

(17:17):
know a lot of times in the left in family
with vending machines, I remember someone said, they said, the
vending machine's broken. The first thing you do is to
give it a good kick, and usually it starts working again,
or you unplug it and then you plug it again.
So but with Grandpa, the goal wasn't to get it
working again. Okay, you got it working again, but the

(17:40):
question then he would ask what was the problem. And
if you didn't know the problem, he said, that means
what you did is you put a band aid on it.
You didn't fix it, you gotta So he would go
back and he would search for what the problem was
and then he would fix it. I mean, getting it
going wasn't good enough for him. He wanted to know

(18:03):
what the problem was. Now. I think that's a tremendous
challenge to go back and figure out what the problem
is after it's already working. It's much easier to figure
out what the problem is before you put the band
aid on. Now that the band aid is on, one
would think you have to wait for the band aid
to come off before you could figure out the problem.
But I guess when you become at a certain level

(18:25):
of expertise, you could figure out the problem even after
the band aid's on. I'll just say a cute little
story just to add some humor. Now, when Grandpa added humor,

(18:45):
the humor was directly connected to the tora. So I'm
gonna do that. Try to do that too. But so
I remember one paysach. So we were having the saya
at Softa, Sylvia, and so we were singing, you know
the song, this song that goes on for a very
long time God, And uh yeah, okay, that song. So

(19:15):
when it was one, he put up his finger for one.
When it was two, he put up his finger for two.
When it got to ten, he put up all his fingers.
And it was very clear that he's gonna be putting
up something for eleven. The question is what's he gonna
put up? So, Dobe, what do you think he put up?

(19:37):
What did he put up for his eleventh Fingerdobe, what
did Grandpa pick up for his eleventh finger? He was
at when it came, so he picks up, he picks
up his shoe at the table. Okay, so he's at eleven.
Now what's he gonna do for twelve? So finally Bobby
comes over for twelve and just her two fingers so

(20:01):
he could put down his shoe and he has his
ten fingers up. She didn't like the fact that his
shoe was on the table. So now, if we're connected
to Toria could just say, it's another way of making it
morgaes Schmarck. For the kids, it happened to be. I
think I was the only one laughing. Maybe I don't
know where the kids were. But so those were like

(20:23):
some cute little things that he would do, just one thing.
I think everyone knows this, but one thing that was
said is that family was a very, very great value
to him. That was one of a lot of times

(20:46):
when I see patients as a chaplain, one of the
questions I ask them is what was the most meaningful
years of their life? And part of that question is
really to figure out what do they value most? But
I don't really ask it directly because I try to
get I try to kill two birds with one stone,

(21:07):
like I'll basically figure out what they value most from
that answer. Sometimes I'll ask what were the happiest years
of his life. So so, family was a very great
value that he had. If we were to do this

(21:28):
in a chaplain style and we were to write all
the spiritual resources that he had, it's really enormous because
music was also touched upon. Today, it was clear that
he listened to music at some point nineteen forties and
nineteen fifties, and we also know his song Lahaian. Music

(21:48):
is a spiritual resource. Humor. Humor is a big spiritual resource.
And all the Tora shop is all so much, there's
so much left. All of those things were passed on
to the future generation. So perhaps we could have some
comfort in that. And I think I mentioned before that

(22:18):
after a person passes away, their good meadows become like hefger.
This was said, This was commonly said after of Kim
Kanievsky passed away. And that's something to keep in mind
that a lot of those medos are are hefgre, which
means that we have a higher chance of succeeding at

(22:41):
those meadows if we want to work, if we especially
if we see that we have a natural tendency towards
that medough just we we haven't lived it. Up to
its full potential, especially that I mean, like we're basically
the type that has that metough just we have to
bring it out. I think especially those types of people

(23:03):
could really take advantage right now and tune into those
to those medos that he had. And I'm youre Tashan.
I think a good braka to give right now is
that those people in the family that have those tendencies
towards those meadows now Kotsparko enlighten them to know that

(23:26):
they have those tendencies and enlighten them to be inspired
to have faith in this wherever this khazal or this
masora that was said around the time of clime Kenievsky's
echo talic rakos Nifter that it really is available. And
if you have that tendency, that means this is part

(23:48):
of your life's calling. This is a talent that Ashan
gave you. This is something that you are supposed to
bring out to your foot potential. So this is the
time to take those medos and to what ever ones
you relate, to, whichever ones you were blessed with that
natural talent, especially those to take those and utilize this time.

(24:10):
Focus more of your time now on those things than
what you ordinarily would do. So sometimes we don't know
what our malas are, so enlighten us to know what

(24:31):
our milas are, to know what his malas are. We
spoke a lot about him, and maybe there were malas
that he had that we didn't know, and and to
help us grow in those areas and to carry his
legacy on to live to the future generations Andashan will

(24:51):
continue to see the flame of Torah passed on from
generation to generation, which is exactly what Grandpa wants in Shamayan.
I'm sure that's part of the being a mill at Siosha,
and so the coming of and after Michea. On main

(25:28):
you've been listening to a podcast called to Zia. If
you haven't heard part one, I recommend you go back
to hear part one. Very interesting stuff in that one