June 2, 2024 • 20 mins
Are you a parent of a baby or toddler…and a dog? This episode is for you!
In my last episode, I spoke with my own teacher and mentor, Jennifer Shryock, owner and founder of Family Paws® LLC, about preparing for life with a baby and dog. I encourage you to go back and listen to that if you are an expecting parent.
This time Jen and I talk about parenting a toddler and a dog together. How to plan for minimizing stress, safety and getting everyone’s needs met.
That can be a challenge. I hope that this parenting discussion about families with a toddler and a dog will be helpful!
About Jennifer Shryock, CDBC: Jennifer Shryock is owner and founder of Family Paws® LLC. She is a certified dog behavior consultant (CDBC), has a bachelor’s degree in special education, with over 30 years’ experience. She has served on multiple boards, including the International Childbirth Education Association, and was vice president of Doggone Safe, a non-profit dedicated to dog bite prevention and victim support. A recognized expert on dog and baby/toddler interactions and safety, Jen has mentored hundreds of dog professionals, written and spoken extensively about these topics including in media such as The Wall Street Journal and Martha Stewart LIVING.
While working with a rescue organization from which she adopted her dog, Jen found herself supporting families with babies or young children overwhelmed by the challenges of their situations. The need she saw for support and education led her to build resources for new and expecting families. Family Paws® offers the highly endorsed international program Dogs & Storks® for expecting and adopting families, Dogs & Toddlers™, and educational programs for dog professionals globally. I am one of hundreds of licensed Family Paws parent educators worldwide who have completed Jen’s 13-week program to support young families.
For resources and much more information from Family Paws, please visit www.familypaws.com.
For information about dog training (and parrot behavior consulting) with Lisa Desatnik, CPDT-KA, FFCP, FDM, CPBC, please visit www.SoMuchPETential.com.
In my last episode, I spoke with my own teacher and mentor, Jennifer Shryock, owner and founder of Family Paws® LLC, about preparing for life with a baby and dog. I encourage you to go back and listen to that if you are an expecting parent.
This time Jen and I talk about parenting a toddler and a dog together. How to plan for minimizing stress, safety and getting everyone’s needs met.
That can be a challenge. I hope that this parenting discussion about families with a toddler and a dog will be helpful!
About Jennifer Shryock, CDBC: Jennifer Shryock is owner and founder of Family Paws® LLC. She is a certified dog behavior consultant (CDBC), has a bachelor’s degree in special education, with over 30 years’ experience. She has served on multiple boards, including the International Childbirth Education Association, and was vice president of Doggone Safe, a non-profit dedicated to dog bite prevention and victim support. A recognized expert on dog and baby/toddler interactions and safety, Jen has mentored hundreds of dog professionals, written and spoken extensively about these topics including in media such as The Wall Street Journal and Martha Stewart LIVING.
While working with a rescue organization from which she adopted her dog, Jen found herself supporting families with babies or young children overwhelmed by the challenges of their situations. The need she saw for support and education led her to build resources for new and expecting families. Family Paws® offers the highly endorsed international program Dogs & Storks® for expecting and adopting families, Dogs & Toddlers™, and educational programs for dog professionals globally. I am one of hundreds of licensed Family Paws parent educators worldwide who have completed Jen’s 13-week program to support young families.
For resources and much more information from Family Paws, please visit www.familypaws.com.
For information about dog training (and parrot behavior consulting) with Lisa Desatnik, CPDT-KA, FFCP, FDM, CPBC, please visit www.SoMuchPETential.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
This is Lives Touched by Pets, a show for those
who love and are love by pets.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
I'm your host, Lisa D.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Satnik, a certified trainer with so much potential in Cincinnati, Ohio.
I am so glad that you're here.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Welcome.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Are you a parent of a baby or toddler and
a dog? This episode is for you. In my last episode,
I spoke with my own teacher and mentor, Jennifer Shryock.
She's owner and founder of Family Pause. We talked about
preparing for life with a baby and a dog. I
encourage you to go back and listen to that if
(00:45):
you are an expecting parent. This time, Jenna and I
talk about parenting a toddler and a dog together, how
to plan for safety, minimizing stress, and kay.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
And everyone's needs met.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
That can be a big challenge.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I hope that this parenting discussion about families with a
toddler and dog will be helpful for you.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Welcome back.
Speaker 5 (01:11):
So last time we talked about babies and getting ready
for having a baby.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
What's involved in that they have got a baby and
that baby's getting older by the minute. So now we're
going to delve into some things that could be coming
up and to prepare for as your baby grows. Welcome back, Jen,
good to have you.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Sure talk to us about the difference between an infant
and a toddler.
Speaker 6 (01:43):
There's so many changes that are happening.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
It's just a wild time.
Speaker 6 (01:47):
So, yeah, you have an infant who you know, goes
from a cradle hold, being in the crook of someone's arms,
someone's arm, to being tucked up on the shoulder to
now facing outward and that can be really alarming to
dogs because now they have these big eyes that are
looking at them and they don't know necessarily what to
(02:10):
make of that.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
So there's those things. You begin to have, grabbing hands
and so.
Speaker 6 (02:18):
Normal milestones, normal abilities for a child, but not appreciated
around dogs. So that can be tricky, you know. So
we want to be able to plan for those things
ahead of time and think about it. Think about how
your dog is going to respond.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
To this, because.
Speaker 6 (02:37):
Before you know it, it'll be there.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
No longer can you just use leashes and tethers as
a management because kids can walk right into spaces. Dogs
can walk right into spaces. Maybe the baby as a
boy that's of interest to the dog. Maybe the dog
has a bone or chew toy and the baby's interested
(03:02):
in that, So they need to look at management a
little different.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Yeah, yeah, we need to look at management differently.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
So if tethering, So what I mean by tethering is
using a leash, like a six foot leash or something
secured bolted to the wall. In the first three months,
if that was being used, which is really really helpful,
really common and can be in an excellent form of management,
in the first three months, if that was being used,
(03:29):
and we definitely want to discontinue that because now we
have a baby that's able to crawl and move and
that can be confining and extremely dangerous.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
So it's time for management change.
Speaker 6 (03:39):
So a lot of times people are getting ready to
childproof their home, and it's time to childproof their home
thinking about the dog, thinking about where the dog's going
to be, where are the food bowls, where is their crate,
where the crave might have.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Been in the living room.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
While the living room may not be a great place
if the baby going to be active in the living room,
the dog feels confined in the grate, so we might
have to look into a different place. All these places,
and all these changes require a little bit of preparation
and a little bit of landing ahead so that you
know it's not a massive change over, you know over
(04:19):
you know, so quickly for the dog, but that it
comes to gradual and that we also have bedtime changes,
so you know, for the first six months it's recommended
that newborns are sleeping in the parents room, but then
you might have, you know, some crib changes and things
like that. There's lots of changes that.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Take place in that first year.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Absolutely it can be unerving for the dog. He's just
gotten used to one thing and now a whole another
thing is happening. Yes, so, and another thing too.
Speaker 7 (04:52):
We talk about is the fact that we've got to be.
Speaker 8 (04:55):
Aware that even though an infant is very young, they're
watching everything that you do, and so you know, just
how you model things.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
I think it's pretty cool.
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Babies are just sponges, They just are observing everything. So
we have an opportunity to model for them what it
is we want them to do around dogs. So, for example,
if you've been a hugger of your dog, you might
want to rethink that in front of your child, because
that's what your child will see what they will do
(05:29):
if you feed your dog at the couch or something
you know, granted, your child will pick up on that too.
There's lots of things you know it's time to think about.
I say, during pregnancy, it's time to think about. Some
of the things that you can discuss as a family
are things that are either no longer going to be
safe or are going to be inconvenient once a baby
(05:51):
is there with a dog, and so these are things
that you'll want to talk about and make new adjustments for.
And the earlier you can make the adjustments the better
because it takes our dogs some time to adjust and
if the adjustments happened too quickly. So for example, if
we've decided that the baby's going to sleep in the
bedroom in the parents room for the first six months,
(06:14):
then we need to have a plan. We need to
have a plan for where is the dog going to sleep,
Where do they not have access to that baby under
any circumstance, And you know, we need to have plant
It's the same with if we're going to change where
the crate is and now we're going to introduce a highchair,
things like that. So all these new equipment we've got
(06:39):
swings and jumpers and all these things that are new
to the dog's home and new to their sensory intake.
It can really be an interesting time. So, for example,
if a family has a house that has hardwood floors
and then they bring in an exer sauce or an
(07:00):
exersauce or type piece of equipment and you put that
on the floor, that could be devastating to a dog,
especially if they've got high ceiling in its ratti loolaying
and it's making noise and you know, so you want
to be thinking about these things. Vibrational sounds that are
on some of these toys can really be irritable to dogs,
So we want to be thinking about all those types
(07:22):
of things and how it might impact the family dog.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
You know, at best, maybe a dog's just curious, but
he could definitely have bigger feelings and emotions about that.
So being able to plan ahead is terrific. So let's
you know, on that note, when we talk about tolerance,
people even seek out.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
Breeds that they think are more tolerant breeds. But really,
when we're talking about that, what we're asking for is
for dogs kind of to take things that would that
we wouldn't do to, you know, a human child. We
really need to be careful about that because that and
(08:04):
then of itself, means that we're setting the dog up
for a stressful situation, and we're asking the dog to
just kind of put up with having things done to
it and proximity of it and just taking it. And
everyone is going to have a breaking point, no.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Matter who it is.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I'm very calm, but I have a breaking point at
some I.
Speaker 6 (08:29):
Remember being at a restaurant and this is embarrassing to say,
but I was at a restaurant. I traveled all day
and I was so hungry. They brought chips and dip
or cheese dip, and they they were filling up the
cheese dip, but they went to take my chips too,
and I grabbed it. It's like, you're not taking that, no,
(08:51):
I mean. But tolerance is a funny thing because it's
going to vary depending on the day, the mood. How
dogs are they hungry? Are they tired? Are they you know,
our dogs aren't getting enough rest. That's a common thing,
you know, And so it's one of those things that
we want to be thinking about. And so when I
(09:12):
get a phone call that's you know, parents will say,
we did A, B and C. So we pulled their ears,
and we yanked their tail, and we've played with their
food and we did all these things to prepare for
a baby. And I say why, But that is what
we used to give advice to do, you know, is
(09:32):
I mean we used to give that advice with the
idea that we are somehow getting the dog used to
or ready for.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
A child to do these things.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
And I'm more of the mindset that we need to
be teaching our children and watching or not putting our
children in the roles that they shouldn't be in. So,
for example, they should not be playing with a food bowl.
They should not be putting their hands in the food bowl.
It's fine if we want to have a child have
a structured expectation, you know, have it where it's predictable
(10:07):
that there's a food bowl, feeding activity routine. Now that's okay,
where it's there's a beginning and an end to it,
and the dog knows, okay, kidto stands on this stool,
I sit here, food goes down, and then I get it,
like it has to be a beginning and an end.
(10:28):
There has to be structure. To it structure for predictability
for the child and the dog. Without the predictability, you
run into problems.
Speaker 7 (10:37):
I love that predictability factor because that helps all of
us to feel safe. When we can predict in a
certain situation, this is good. Great, we feel safer.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
And all of us do.
Speaker 7 (10:50):
And so your kiddo's gonna feel that way.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
You're gonna feel that way, and your dog's.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Gonna feel that way.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Yeah, they know what to do.
Speaker 6 (10:57):
So if you every night, your routine is is we
have a stool and you get up on that stool
and mom, who work. The parent puts the food in
the bowl, and then the child puts the bowl on
the floor and the dog sits in their spot, and
then the child gets back on the stool and then
the parent releases the dog. That's a predictable pattern that's
(11:22):
gonna happen each evening, and so everybody gets used to it.
It's not I'm gonna go and put my hands in
your bowl. It's I put the bowl down, I get
back on the stool and look, now you get to
get your food. And you can even include kids with
the hand gesture that says all done or free or
(11:42):
you know, I like to do that as they get older.
I like to include though with hand gestures. I use mousepads,
I use different things to have kids stand on. You know,
you think about preschool that I used to teach. I
taught toddler's a toddler class, and you know, they had
chares to sit on, or they had rugs to sit on,
(12:03):
and that was their place and they easily know I
go to this spot and here's what's going to happen.
We are going to have circle time, and this is
the manners for circle time and they know that, and
so we can easily teach, you know, several different things
that we can do with the dog and expect them
(12:23):
to have the same kind of control and predictability so
that it's safe for everybody.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (12:29):
You know another thing when we talk about that, and
this is something because I do kids classes too on
how to be a good dog friend for six and older.
But you know, you run into a lot parents with
young kids three and four, and they put a lot
of weight on also on teaching the kids, which is
(12:51):
really well, my child should know how to do that.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
So let's talk about that because I think that's really
important for parents to.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Hear right, right.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
I tell them to be gentle and when grabbing is
a milestone and it's one.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Of those things that a child is going to do.
Speaker 6 (13:08):
So predictability is not something children are.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Very good at.
Speaker 6 (13:12):
It takes time, and you know, I would say around
that three to four age range is when you know
you have that more predictable walk, which helps our dogs
settle in a little bit. But kids don't understand enough
to be consistent. So they can repeat back everything you've said,
(13:33):
and they can even model and demonstrate.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Everything you said.
Speaker 6 (13:36):
But to expect that they're going to do it when
you're not in the room, or expect that they're going
to do it every single time, is just not appropriate
or something that we can expect with young children.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
It's just not so touch the dog gently.
Speaker 6 (13:54):
Well, maybe it's a rough day. Maybe it's not a
gentle touching day, you know, and if that happens, then
maybe the dog starts to associate rough touch.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
With that child.
Speaker 6 (14:08):
You know, maybe not the other children, but maybe that child.
I've seen that happen, you know, So so we have
to be really careful right where we put the weight.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
So, man, we come back to that whole thing about management,
importance of management, How very very important that is to families.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Yeah, it's really important.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
I'm looking I look at it all the time now
with my two dogs, and you know, they have times
that I can tell that they're reaching their peak, kind
of like toddlers.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
Toddlers reach that peak time.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
And remembering that your dogs get tired. This is key
for parents. Remember that your dogs get tired, they get whiny,
they get.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Fussy too at the end of the day.
Speaker 6 (14:51):
So just making it like seven o'clock is your dog's bedtime.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
And you know, and you have a wine down time so.
Speaker 6 (14:59):
That your dog goes to bed or six o'clock your
dog goes to bed when you're in that heated time
of getting your children ready for bed, and then you
take your dog out later, you know what I mean.
But you just have like a period of time that
your dog is not part of that chaotic dinner and
(15:21):
homework and getting ready for the next day. That's when
problems really happen. And so I like to eliminate the
dog from that situation by giving them a food dispensing
toy or you know, let them have their meal in
sell kind of food dispensing toy or something like that,
but remembering that her dogs need a break too. They
(15:42):
need a break and they need good solid sleep, So
not just sleep in the crate where they're watching everything.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Whyet sleep?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Yeah, and especially you know, if there's a lot of stress,
we need to give them that break. Sometimes even like
a food scatter in the grass. Yes, so they're out
of the house and they're not deal with these kinds
of things because parents are going to be stressed too
and they're just thinking about all kinds of different things
and they're not thinking about the management piece too, and
(16:13):
then it could be a time where a child is
cranky and so coming up with solutions where the dog yeah,
can be out of the way, but making sure that
those dogs needs are being mad is super important too.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
And that's where.
Speaker 6 (16:28):
Having a family cluse educator come in and talk about it,
I think is really helpful. We can talk about things
that they can do and set up so that it
can be more comfortable and convenient.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
For everybody, right, Yeah, absolutely, you know we think about
if you were taking your child to a grocery store,
you wouldn't take your grocery store when he's tired and
exhausted and starving and probably not. I ask it for
a tempertantra, So we just don't know. But we really
(17:02):
need to be aware that just like our the young
toddlers need breaks and napps. So two door dogs, so
that's really important.
Speaker 6 (17:12):
And they start acting out, you know, at least I
notice this. They start acting out. They might get mouthy,
they might get barkie, they might get a little more playful,
they start acting like a toddler. I always say when
I'm fed up, when I'm reaching my limit and I'm
just about fed up with the dog, that's usually about
the time that they've had enough and they need a break.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
We need to think about that too, because even as adults,
it's exhausting being with a baby or an infant because
you're always on. And it's similarly when you've got a puppy,
you are always on.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
But you know when our.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Dogs are needing to put to go through that day
in and day out for all that time, that's a lot.
Just like it's stressful aarents, it is stressful for the dogs.
So we just need to be really really aware of
all that. Well, this has been really I think a
lot of good information here. Is there any kind of
partying message that you would give to parents when it
(18:14):
comes to that mean everything for success.
Speaker 6 (18:19):
Please just remember to listen and follow your dog's lead
and look, pay attention to what they're communicating as far
as comfort and discomfort.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
And learn continue to learn.
Speaker 6 (18:32):
What they're communicating because you can't learn enough about dog
aware skills.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
You just can't. It's constant.
Speaker 6 (18:39):
I mean, I have a fourteen year old and I
have my two dogs, and we're constantly learning, and she
has friends come over and things like that.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
You just can't. You never stop learning about dogs.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
And I encourage people to continue to learn about their
body language and how they're communicating.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
It's critical. It's critical. Well, Jen, it's been really.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Wonderful to have this conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
I have a feeling there's going to be a lot
of people that are going to find some useful information
in our conversations.
Speaker 7 (19:11):
And for more information, they can visit the website.
Speaker 6 (19:14):
They can come to familypause dot com or visit us
over on Instagram at family.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Pause Official, and they have a link in the show
notes too.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider
subscribing to my podcast. Come back often, and tell your
friends If I can be of any help to you
and your pet. Please reach out to me via my
website www dot so much potential dot com and for
(19:48):
a lot more information, fun and videos. Please follow me
so Much Potential on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
See you soon.
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
This is Lives Touched by Pets, a show for those
who love and are love by pets.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
I'm your host, Lisa D.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Satnik, a certified trainer with so much potential in Cincinnati, Ohio.
I am so glad that you're here.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Welcome.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Are you a parent of a baby or toddler and
a dog? This episode is for you. In my last episode,
I spoke with my own teacher and mentor, Jennifer Shryock.
She's owner and founder of Family Pause. We talked about
preparing for life with a baby and a dog. I
encourage you to go back and listen to that if
(00:45):
you are an expecting parent. This time, Jenna and I
talk about parenting a toddler and a dog together, how
to plan for safety, minimizing stress, and kay.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
And everyone's needs met.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
That can be a big challenge.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I hope that this parenting discussion about families with a
toddler and dog will be helpful for you.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Welcome back.
Speaker 5 (01:11):
So last time we talked about babies and getting ready
for having a baby.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
What's involved in that they have got a baby and
that baby's getting older by the minute. So now we're
going to delve into some things that could be coming
up and to prepare for as your baby grows. Welcome back, Jen,
good to have you.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Sure talk to us about the difference between an infant
and a toddler.
Speaker 6 (01:43):
There's so many changes that are happening.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
It's just a wild time.
Speaker 6 (01:47):
So, yeah, you have an infant who you know, goes
from a cradle hold, being in the crook of someone's arms,
someone's arm, to being tucked up on the shoulder to
now facing outward and that can be really alarming to
dogs because now they have these big eyes that are
looking at them and they don't know necessarily what to
(02:10):
make of that.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
So there's those things. You begin to have, grabbing hands
and so.
Speaker 6 (02:18):
Normal milestones, normal abilities for a child, but not appreciated
around dogs. So that can be tricky, you know. So
we want to be able to plan for those things
ahead of time and think about it. Think about how
your dog is going to respond.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
To this, because.
Speaker 6 (02:37):
Before you know it, it'll be there.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
No longer can you just use leashes and tethers as
a management because kids can walk right into spaces. Dogs
can walk right into spaces. Maybe the baby as a
boy that's of interest to the dog. Maybe the dog
has a bone or chew toy and the baby's interested
(03:02):
in that, So they need to look at management a
little different.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Yeah, yeah, we need to look at management differently.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
So if tethering, So what I mean by tethering is
using a leash, like a six foot leash or something
secured bolted to the wall. In the first three months,
if that was being used, which is really really helpful,
really common and can be in an excellent form of management,
in the first three months, if that was being used,
(03:29):
and we definitely want to discontinue that because now we
have a baby that's able to crawl and move and
that can be confining and extremely dangerous.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
So it's time for management change.
Speaker 6 (03:39):
So a lot of times people are getting ready to
childproof their home, and it's time to childproof their home
thinking about the dog, thinking about where the dog's going
to be, where are the food bowls, where is their crate,
where the crave might have.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Been in the living room.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
While the living room may not be a great place
if the baby going to be active in the living room,
the dog feels confined in the grate, so we might
have to look into a different place. All these places,
and all these changes require a little bit of preparation
and a little bit of landing ahead so that you
know it's not a massive change over, you know over
(04:19):
you know, so quickly for the dog, but that it
comes to gradual and that we also have bedtime changes,
so you know, for the first six months it's recommended
that newborns are sleeping in the parents room, but then
you might have, you know, some crib changes and things
like that. There's lots of changes that.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Take place in that first year.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Absolutely it can be unerving for the dog. He's just
gotten used to one thing and now a whole another
thing is happening. Yes, so, and another thing too.
Speaker 7 (04:52):
We talk about is the fact that we've got to be.
Speaker 8 (04:55):
Aware that even though an infant is very young, they're
watching everything that you do, and so you know, just
how you model things.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
I think it's pretty cool.
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Babies are just sponges, They just are observing everything. So
we have an opportunity to model for them what it
is we want them to do around dogs. So, for example,
if you've been a hugger of your dog, you might
want to rethink that in front of your child, because
that's what your child will see what they will do
(05:29):
if you feed your dog at the couch or something
you know, granted, your child will pick up on that too.
There's lots of things you know it's time to think about.
I say, during pregnancy, it's time to think about. Some
of the things that you can discuss as a family
are things that are either no longer going to be
safe or are going to be inconvenient once a baby
(05:51):
is there with a dog, and so these are things
that you'll want to talk about and make new adjustments for.
And the earlier you can make the adjustments the better
because it takes our dogs some time to adjust and
if the adjustments happened too quickly. So for example, if
we've decided that the baby's going to sleep in the
bedroom in the parents room for the first six months,
(06:14):
then we need to have a plan. We need to
have a plan for where is the dog going to sleep,
Where do they not have access to that baby under
any circumstance, And you know, we need to have plant
It's the same with if we're going to change where
the crate is and now we're going to introduce a highchair,
things like that. So all these new equipment we've got
(06:39):
swings and jumpers and all these things that are new
to the dog's home and new to their sensory intake.
It can really be an interesting time. So, for example,
if a family has a house that has hardwood floors
and then they bring in an exer sauce or an
(07:00):
exersauce or type piece of equipment and you put that
on the floor, that could be devastating to a dog,
especially if they've got high ceiling in its ratti loolaying
and it's making noise and you know, so you want
to be thinking about these things. Vibrational sounds that are
on some of these toys can really be irritable to dogs,
So we want to be thinking about all those types
(07:22):
of things and how it might impact the family dog.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
You know, at best, maybe a dog's just curious, but
he could definitely have bigger feelings and emotions about that.
So being able to plan ahead is terrific. So let's
you know, on that note, when we talk about tolerance,
people even seek out.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
Breeds that they think are more tolerant breeds. But really,
when we're talking about that, what we're asking for is
for dogs kind of to take things that would that
we wouldn't do to, you know, a human child. We
really need to be careful about that because that and
(08:04):
then of itself, means that we're setting the dog up
for a stressful situation, and we're asking the dog to
just kind of put up with having things done to
it and proximity of it and just taking it. And
everyone is going to have a breaking point, no.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Matter who it is.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I'm very calm, but I have a breaking point at
some I.
Speaker 6 (08:29):
Remember being at a restaurant and this is embarrassing to say,
but I was at a restaurant. I traveled all day
and I was so hungry. They brought chips and dip
or cheese dip, and they they were filling up the
cheese dip, but they went to take my chips too,
and I grabbed it. It's like, you're not taking that, no,
(08:51):
I mean. But tolerance is a funny thing because it's
going to vary depending on the day, the mood. How
dogs are they hungry? Are they tired? Are they you know,
our dogs aren't getting enough rest. That's a common thing,
you know, And so it's one of those things that
we want to be thinking about. And so when I
(09:12):
get a phone call that's you know, parents will say,
we did A, B and C. So we pulled their ears,
and we yanked their tail, and we've played with their
food and we did all these things to prepare for
a baby. And I say why, But that is what
we used to give advice to do, you know, is
(09:32):
I mean we used to give that advice with the
idea that we are somehow getting the dog used to
or ready for.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
A child to do these things.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
And I'm more of the mindset that we need to
be teaching our children and watching or not putting our
children in the roles that they shouldn't be in. So,
for example, they should not be playing with a food bowl.
They should not be putting their hands in the food bowl.
It's fine if we want to have a child have
a structured expectation, you know, have it where it's predictable
(10:07):
that there's a food bowl, feeding activity routine. Now that's okay,
where it's there's a beginning and an end to it,
and the dog knows, okay, kidto stands on this stool,
I sit here, food goes down, and then I get it,
like it has to be a beginning and an end.
(10:28):
There has to be structure. To it structure for predictability
for the child and the dog. Without the predictability, you
run into problems.
Speaker 7 (10:37):
I love that predictability factor because that helps all of
us to feel safe. When we can predict in a
certain situation, this is good. Great, we feel safer.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
And all of us do.
Speaker 7 (10:50):
And so your kiddo's gonna feel that way.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
You're gonna feel that way, and your dog's.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Gonna feel that way.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Yeah, they know what to do.
Speaker 6 (10:57):
So if you every night, your routine is is we
have a stool and you get up on that stool
and mom, who work. The parent puts the food in
the bowl, and then the child puts the bowl on
the floor and the dog sits in their spot, and
then the child gets back on the stool and then
the parent releases the dog. That's a predictable pattern that's
(11:22):
gonna happen each evening, and so everybody gets used to it.
It's not I'm gonna go and put my hands in
your bowl. It's I put the bowl down, I get
back on the stool and look, now you get to
get your food. And you can even include kids with
the hand gesture that says all done or free or
(11:42):
you know, I like to do that as they get older.
I like to include though with hand gestures. I use mousepads,
I use different things to have kids stand on. You know,
you think about preschool that I used to teach. I
taught toddler's a toddler class, and you know, they had
chares to sit on, or they had rugs to sit on,
(12:03):
and that was their place and they easily know I
go to this spot and here's what's going to happen.
We are going to have circle time, and this is
the manners for circle time and they know that, and
so we can easily teach, you know, several different things
that we can do with the dog and expect them
(12:23):
to have the same kind of control and predictability so
that it's safe for everybody.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (12:29):
You know another thing when we talk about that, and
this is something because I do kids classes too on
how to be a good dog friend for six and older.
But you know, you run into a lot parents with
young kids three and four, and they put a lot
of weight on also on teaching the kids, which is
(12:51):
really well, my child should know how to do that.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
So let's talk about that because I think that's really
important for parents to.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Hear right, right.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
I tell them to be gentle and when grabbing is
a milestone and it's one.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Of those things that a child is going to do.
Speaker 6 (13:08):
So predictability is not something children are.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Very good at.
Speaker 6 (13:12):
It takes time, and you know, I would say around
that three to four age range is when you know
you have that more predictable walk, which helps our dogs
settle in a little bit. But kids don't understand enough
to be consistent. So they can repeat back everything you've said,
(13:33):
and they can even model and demonstrate.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Everything you said.
Speaker 6 (13:36):
But to expect that they're going to do it when
you're not in the room, or expect that they're going
to do it every single time, is just not appropriate
or something that we can expect with young children.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
It's just not so touch the dog gently.
Speaker 6 (13:54):
Well, maybe it's a rough day. Maybe it's not a
gentle touching day, you know, and if that happens, then
maybe the dog starts to associate rough touch.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
With that child.
Speaker 6 (14:08):
You know, maybe not the other children, but maybe that child.
I've seen that happen, you know, So so we have
to be really careful right where we put the weight.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
So, man, we come back to that whole thing about management,
importance of management, How very very important that is to families.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Yeah, it's really important.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
I'm looking I look at it all the time now
with my two dogs, and you know, they have times
that I can tell that they're reaching their peak, kind
of like toddlers.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
Toddlers reach that peak time.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
And remembering that your dogs get tired. This is key
for parents. Remember that your dogs get tired, they get whiny,
they get.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Fussy too at the end of the day.
Speaker 6 (14:51):
So just making it like seven o'clock is your dog's bedtime.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
And you know, and you have a wine down time so.
Speaker 6 (14:59):
That your dog goes to bed or six o'clock your
dog goes to bed when you're in that heated time
of getting your children ready for bed, and then you
take your dog out later, you know what I mean.
But you just have like a period of time that
your dog is not part of that chaotic dinner and
(15:21):
homework and getting ready for the next day. That's when
problems really happen. And so I like to eliminate the
dog from that situation by giving them a food dispensing
toy or you know, let them have their meal in
sell kind of food dispensing toy or something like that,
but remembering that her dogs need a break too. They
(15:42):
need a break and they need good solid sleep, So
not just sleep in the crate where they're watching everything.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Whyet sleep?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Yeah, and especially you know, if there's a lot of stress,
we need to give them that break. Sometimes even like
a food scatter in the grass. Yes, so they're out
of the house and they're not deal with these kinds
of things because parents are going to be stressed too
and they're just thinking about all kinds of different things
and they're not thinking about the management piece too, and
(16:13):
then it could be a time where a child is
cranky and so coming up with solutions where the dog yeah,
can be out of the way, but making sure that
those dogs needs are being mad is super important too.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
And that's where.
Speaker 6 (16:28):
Having a family cluse educator come in and talk about it,
I think is really helpful. We can talk about things
that they can do and set up so that it
can be more comfortable and convenient.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
For everybody, right, Yeah, absolutely, you know we think about
if you were taking your child to a grocery store,
you wouldn't take your grocery store when he's tired and
exhausted and starving and probably not. I ask it for
a tempertantra, So we just don't know. But we really
(17:02):
need to be aware that just like our the young
toddlers need breaks and napps. So two door dogs, so
that's really important.
Speaker 6 (17:12):
And they start acting out, you know, at least I
notice this. They start acting out. They might get mouthy,
they might get barkie, they might get a little more playful,
they start acting like a toddler. I always say when
I'm fed up, when I'm reaching my limit and I'm
just about fed up with the dog, that's usually about
the time that they've had enough and they need a break.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
We need to think about that too, because even as adults,
it's exhausting being with a baby or an infant because
you're always on. And it's similarly when you've got a puppy,
you are always on.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
But you know when our.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Dogs are needing to put to go through that day
in and day out for all that time, that's a lot.
Just like it's stressful aarents, it is stressful for the dogs.
So we just need to be really really aware of
all that. Well, this has been really I think a
lot of good information here. Is there any kind of
partying message that you would give to parents when it
(18:14):
comes to that mean everything for success.
Speaker 6 (18:19):
Please just remember to listen and follow your dog's lead
and look, pay attention to what they're communicating as far
as comfort and discomfort.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
And learn continue to learn.
Speaker 6 (18:32):
What they're communicating because you can't learn enough about dog
aware skills.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
You just can't. It's constant.
Speaker 6 (18:39):
I mean, I have a fourteen year old and I
have my two dogs, and we're constantly learning, and she
has friends come over and things like that.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
You just can't. You never stop learning about dogs.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
And I encourage people to continue to learn about their
body language and how they're communicating.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
It's critical. It's critical. Well, Jen, it's been really.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Wonderful to have this conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
I have a feeling there's going to be a lot
of people that are going to find some useful information
in our conversations.
Speaker 7 (19:11):
And for more information, they can visit the website.
Speaker 6 (19:14):
They can come to familypause dot com or visit us
over on Instagram at family.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Pause Official, and they have a link in the show
notes too.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider
subscribing to my podcast. Come back often, and tell your
friends If I can be of any help to you
and your pet. Please reach out to me via my
website www dot so much potential dot com and for
(19:48):
a lot more information, fun and videos. Please follow me
so Much Potential on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
See you soon.
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