Responding to Crazy Joe | Tough Bumps

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, shall we address the the latest Uh? Why, oh boy?
Why semi professional Sammy Hagar impersonator or Jose Martinez? Uh
continuing to make Uh this is This is not his
official press photo. By the way, this is I did

(00:22):
a little digging. This is a picture of him. Apparently
he uses a filter when he does his uh YouTube videos.
This is This is him without the filter.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
It's substantially worse. Yeah, yeah, that was possible.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
Stunning, stunning man.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, well, it's something I wouldn't say.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Oh boy, now this is him. This is a picture. Well,
this is a picture of him taken uh in Las
Vegas actually doing his Sammy Hagar tribute show. Uh. He
did a residency in Las Vegas as Sammy Hagar and
this is a picture from that.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yeah. Well hmm.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yeah that was the.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Single selling album, Heaven's Door.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Oh maybe I could see. I thought this was taken
from his live performance of I Can't Drive fifty five,
but it might This might be from the Heaven's Door video.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Right, I Can't Drive fifty five is actually by Sammy Hagar.
I Can't Count to fifty five is by Jose Martinez.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Oh, I understand he used I understand and then of course,
here's a picture of him from nineteen eighty six when
he began his career as a semi professional Sammy Hagar impersonator.
And by the way, we have proof of all of this.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yes, we have discussed it several times.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Anyone wants to challenge us, And of course, uh, that
was before he had the honor and privilege of interviewing
the keyboard player from Vanilla Fudge.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Did you interview the singer or the singer's hair, because
that hair looks like it could be its own life form.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
No, he didn't. He didn't interview the singer. He interviewed
the keyboard player.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Oh yeah, yeah, I've never even heard of this guy.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Yeah, he's the key I don't know his name. I
just know he's a keyboard player from Vanilla Fudge. So
so that's yeah, so quite the quite the journalistic accomplishments
there of mister Jose Martinez. But uh, yeah, so he
is in one of his new videos he has challenged
us to, Uh it's groundhog Day. It really is. I

(02:35):
think the first time he made this challenge was probably
do you realize how long this has been going on?
For like five years? Now? Do you realize that five years.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
I'm going to cover the timeline. Okay, I'm gonna let
you talk, and then I have a very pointed.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Rebuttal Okay, okay, Well he's he's once again challenged us
to go on, and I I love he challenges. It's
like the guy who invites other people to your house
without talking to you first. Because he challenged us to
go on and debate.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Him on Charles Richardson's show. And I sent the video
to Charles, and as of production time when we went live,
I had not received a response from Charles. I'm not
accusing Charles of anything. I just want him to know that, Hey,

(03:34):
your show's being offered up as a platform for something that,
to be quite honest, I have no inplination in taking
part in.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, no, I mean, what's the point?

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Well there is none. But here's here's the thing.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Oh, we should clarify the eric before we go any further.
We should clarify when we say what's the point? We mean,
what's the point of going on Charles's show just to
have a conversation with with uh? With it?

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Would it would be the same sophomoric insults we get
on his videos. Everything is everybody else's fault, no fault
of his own, and he's the victim.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
I just wanted to clarify though, that we we don't
mean that. It's what would be the point of going
on Charles's show?

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Because we love I'll.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Go on Charles's show anytime he wants to bring me on.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
I just I still feel bad. I couldn't make it
on his uh life life stream, oh Saturday Night's main event.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
Yeah, I couldn't do it either, But well I was
in a haze, Yeah I was.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
I would not have been suitable. Okay, look here's this
has been going on for close to five years now.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Amazing. It's amazing, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
I have been involved with this?

Speaker 1 (05:01):
Yeah, yeah, what I have.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
Learned about Jose Martinez. Jose, I'm gonna look directly at
the camera when I say this. You need Matt, Billy
and I and the onions. Without us, you have no material.

(05:27):
You have outdated, rehashed bits that were on Doctor Demento
when I was in middle school, in high school. You
have a show that you periodically air that is more
an exhibit in how not to broadcast a program. You

(05:48):
bumble with equipment, you fumble with the most mundane technological tasks.
And yes, I'll give you a modicum of credit. And
if these words are too big for you, go to
mister d or Jen and maybe they can help you,
or maybe even Big Cav, which I've heard Big keV speak.

(06:11):
I doubt he understands the words I'm using. I know
they have a lot of syllables. I'm not going to
break down to you what a syllable is because we
don't have the time. I don't have the patience.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Which he's not friends with Kevin Nash, is he?

Speaker 2 (06:29):
No? No, this is this is where meed. This is
like off brand Big Cav.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
That's right, he has his own Big keV. I forgot, Yes,
his own Big keV.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Unless he's belittled him and insulted him so much that
he doesn't even talk to him anymore. Yeah, which very
well might have.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
He doesn't mention him anymore, so that may be the case.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
It very well might be.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Look here it is back to my original point. Yes, Joe,
you need us, You need us without us and without
others that have been a part of this Robin Slim
Dirt don people that you claim you chased off. You

(07:21):
didn't chase them off. They decided they wanted to go
into other avenues and do other things.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Right.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
They have something called passion, which is something you are lacking,
because in this business, Joe, you can't do it to
become famous or for notoriety. You have to do it
because you love to do it. And Joe, the only

(07:55):
thing you love is Jose Martinez and the illusions of
grandeur that you have of becoming this star next Howard.
You're not even the next Beetlejuice. You look without us,
you have nothing. You have nothing, Joe, you will be.

(08:19):
You will have to rely on talent, which in four
and a half years I've learned you have none of,
and intellect, which in four and a half years I
have learned you have very little of. So there's no
reason for Matt and I to sit here and go

(08:41):
on Charles's show for a debate That isn't going to
be a debate. It's going to be you yelling, screaming, cussing,
and using your same tired, immature insults you've used against
us the whole time. Joe, You've made thirteen consecutive videos

(09:04):
about Matt and nine thirteen and here are the insults people,
I will save you the time of going through and
listening to them. Insult number one, I am mentally retarded.
I mean, there are probably some people out there that

(09:26):
would say, yeah, that Joe is onto something, but I
am not. Secondly, that Matt and I are lovers. Let
me address that Matt and I have never met in person.
That's kind of hard to be lovers when we're in

(09:48):
different time zones, let alone different states, let alone different
regions of the country.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yes. Also, I would just add, while I do consider
myself a staunch lgbt Q plus ally, I personally am
not into penis.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
I yeah, I am one heterosexual. Yeah, now moving on.
You have also accused me of having relations with my dog,
which is so stupid I'm not even going to address
it here. And then you say that we live in

(10:29):
no name states, Matt lives in New Hampshire. You accuse
them of doing stuff with maple syrup. Maple syrup isn't
even the top domestic product in the state of New Hampshire.
That's Vermnt, you idiot.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
That's true. Vermont is the maple syrup state.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
Yes, so again, your lack of intelligence and education comes
out very much. Then you in sult Iowa, Iowa, a
state that has one of the top public medical schools

(11:08):
in the country, the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics,
which is roughly thirty minutes away from me. The great
people that did surgery on my right shoulder. Also, we
provide a lot of the food that you shovel into

(11:29):
your racist, bigoted mouth. We have General mills and Quaker
oats here in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Also, Iowa farmers provide
that same food corn wheat, soybeans, milk, all crap. I'm

(11:51):
sure you eat joe that keeps you alive. So Iowa
is actually a life to you. So there's that. Then
there's this idea you have that I don't have any
money and I live with my mother inner basement, I own.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
My I live in flooded basement.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
Flooded basement. One. If the basement were flooded and I
lived in it, you know what, I'm not even touching
that one. That just again shows how stupid he is.
But I live in my own apartment. I pay rent monthly.

(12:40):
I have a job. I work forty hours a week.
Not right now because I am injured. Unlike somebody who
doesn't work and likes to throw out that he worked
a job where he risked his life every day. Joe,

(13:02):
you were a cabby that's like that's like saying, hmm,
I was the bouncer at a strip club, so I'm
a pimp.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
In fairness, I think I do think being a cab driver,
depending on especially depending on what shift you're working in
New York City, probably does carry some level of danger.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
You know who he reminds me of. He's a lot
like Louis de Palma from the TV show Taxi, the
dmon DeVito character.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
He really probably probably the same height, Yeah, yeah, very.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
Same annoyance, same horrible personality, same all of it. Joe.
You say how irrelevant Matt and I, Billy and everyone
else are, then why do you have to keep talking
about us. We don't need you, Joe, No, we can
do just fine without you. And finally, the last point,

(13:58):
in order to kick Matt Connorton's ass in the ratings,
as you so succinctly put it in your own way,
you have to consistently have a show. You have done
seven live shows in five years, in four and a
half here, sorry, seven live shows that I can remember,

(14:20):
and they were all train wrecks in abominations to the
word show. Yeah no, you will never take out, Matt.
You will never take me out. There will be no
debate because there's no point in it. Now for everyone else,
this is how I will conclude it, and then we
will get on to what we do here on a

(14:43):
weekly basis, because we host a consistent show. My point,
my final point is this, Joe. You're gonna call us cowards.
You're gonna say we're pussies, You're gonna say we're punks.
You're gonna say all of this. Fine, go ahead, Joe,

(15:05):
But who's really the pussy, the coward, the punk? Matt
and I who have better things to do than debate
a geriatric old man that's severely lacking in faculties, or
the geriatric old man that challenged people to call into
his show and then blocked us when we called in

(15:28):
like you did. Or the geriatric old man that called
the FBI on Billy Paynter. News Flash, Joe, the FBI
laughed at.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
You, Yes they did.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
You called the cops on DJ Reckless. News Flash, Joe,
the cops laughed at you. You all your threats are empty.
Anything you could do is meaningless. Now can't touch us.
Just give up. Go on your marry little way. Go

(16:03):
back to making your racist, bigoted videos, go back to
your fart machine, on your honey roasted peanuts and talking
about the days when you are growing up and all
of that.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
Just this is the last time we will mention you
on this program. We're not going to do it. We're
not going to give you the material. We're not going
to help you in giving you stuff to talk and
ramble on about. Just go about your marry little way.
And this is it.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
I do think it's funny that he talks on his
I do have to mention this. He talks on his
videos about how hell I have spies because I'm blocked
from his YouTube channel.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
Tase block people from viewing your YouTube videos. You can
only block them from commenting.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
Yeah, So, Joe, if you if you do watch this
or listen to this, I just want you to know
I don't have any spies. I myself. I go to
your YouTube channel and I watch, I play your videos,
I play them live, I play the one I just
I do it myself.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
Ye, spies, because you can't block someone from viewing your
YouTube videos, you moron.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
You can you can block. He's blocked me from commenting.
That's all he can do. I can't leave comments, that's it.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Oh joy we oh man, But you know what, I
have learned this and if we leave a comment, Joe
still sees it.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Okay, Yeah, he gets.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
A notification that we left the comment. Oh I didn't
know that users left the comment.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
Oh that's funny. I'm gonna start leaving comments then, just
to harassment. I'm going to because see I I thought
I thought I thought he even see it. So he
actually gets a notification that someone a block user left
to comment.

Speaker 2 (18:05):
He gets an email.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
Oh jeez, I should start doing that to Tom Gully too. Then,
see I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah that I believe they. I could be mistaken, but
I do believe they get an email.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
I'll be damned.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
Letting them know that a block to user has left
to comment.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
I actually forgot about Tom Gully till just now, because
he's like the one other person that I know if
who has me blocked because he he hates me for
reasons that I'll never understand. At least Joe I can
kind of understand. I mean, he's wrong but nothing to understand.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
And you know what, that's what.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
I just I just mean, I know I know what
what is reasoning is in his mind, whereas time I'm
just completely baffled by. That's all I mean.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Joe, another thing here and then I'm done. Ye in
this life, if you want something, you have to work
for it. People, when you watch his videos, everything is
always someone else's fault. It's never I screwed up. And No,

(19:12):
Matt was not scared that Joe was going to take
him over and get him removed and takeover. No, and
Joe another thing. You want to know how Matt and
I met each other, it was because of you. You

(19:36):
caused this partnership, Joe. You. I was a guest on
Matt's show to refute all your biblical claims because you
are a biblical moron that knows nothing about the Bible.
About the Bible, you cherry pick parts of the Bible
to fit your narrative. And as a man of faith, Joe,

(20:01):
you are transversing down a very dangerous road doing that
very dangerous And if you're the man of faith you
say you are, I'm gonna leave it at that, because
I am a man of faith, and I do not
want to say in anger, what will happen to you
for doing that, because that puts some very bad juju

(20:26):
on me. Oh so so yeah, Joe, you know you
know that you're wrong, And if you don't know, I
highly suggest you pick up a Bible and actually read
the passages on the crucifixion and see who was really
at fault for the crucifixion of Jesus. Hint, it was

(20:48):
a Roman prefect that sentenced him while the Jews of
the council cried. That's a biblical passage. And while Jesus
was being crucified you in the soul, he said, forgive them, Father,
for they know not what they do. I think if
he said that while having nails driven into his wrist,

(21:09):
you can lighten up a little bit on the whole
Jews killed Christ thing. So yeah, it's it's everyone else's fault.
And he begs in belittles for listeners, and it's like
people have lives, they're not dedicated to you.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
That's the most bizarre thing about him. There's a lot
of bizarre things about him, but one of the most
baffling things is he constantly drives people away like if
you show him the slightest bit of attention, he can't
wait to find an excuse to drive you away.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
He thinks the littlest bit of attention is like a
pledge of undying loyalty. Yeah, your world revolves around him now,
and it's no. I mean I have podcasts I listen to.
I don't listen to him the day they come out, right,
I don't even listen to him live shocking all. Yeah, yeah,

(22:03):
I don't listen to Matt's show every Saturday. Yeah, Matt understands.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
Yeah, oh that's that's and because I do have a
radio show, which that's the other thing. Joe likes to
saying his radio shows that I don't line his h videos,
that I don't have a radio show anymore and I'm
only doing this, which is not true.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
It flip flops, It flip flops. Yeah, you copied him
to you no longer have your show, and it both
just like, we can't be insignificant and not worth your time,
and you don't talk about us to making thirteen consecutive
videos that range in seven to twelve minutes in length

(22:43):
that mention us or talk about us.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
The whole time. Yeah, and the other thing too, That's
funny about his work logic is he does as you
You talked about it earlier, how he likes to talk
about how he's going to bury us and because he's
going to be so successful, as though this is all
a zero sum game, even if I mean there's there's
a zero percent chance of him ever being successful. But
even if he was, that would not make us any

(23:07):
less successful just because he's successful. It doesn't. I don't
understand why he thinks that.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
But strange because everything is everything is black or white,
there is no gray. Yeah, yeah, and he doesn't under
he doesn't even grasp how ratings work, right, It's very bizarre.
His skewed perception on everything. It's just insane. Yeah, yeah,

(23:40):
I just yeah, I'm done. This is the last we'll
talk about him. Okay, they talk about the fake seem
me Hagar, but we're not going to address him. There
will be no debate, Charles, no slight on. You would
love to be on your show, just not under the
circumstances of on at the same time as that driveling moron.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
You know what though, too, if he had any sense whatsoever,
if he had any understanding of how any of this works.
He would take that. I think I might have said
this last week, but I'll right. He would take the
Sammy Hagar thing and run with it, and and he
could actually generate a tiny little bit of interest if
he just took it and ran with it and just

(24:24):
went with the bit. But he's not smart enough to
do that. Like, even people who've never done any kind
of podcasting or anything at all and are just not
savvy about any of this would at least have the
common sense to realize, oh, here's something I can grab
onto and run with it and maybe people will be
interested in what I'm doing. But he doesn't even have

(24:45):
that much sense. He just gets mad about it.

Speaker 2 (24:48):
We served him up a steak dinner, I know, he
threw it away to make his own macaroni and cheese.
It's like, what, why, she's just run a fran with this?

Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah? Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
Even even Dirk Don mentioned that, Yeah, he's like, dude,
he could have run with this. And there are many
many things like the Onions giving him a platform. M yep,
but he watched that. Yeah, oh yeah, there's a podcast

(25:25):
ridiculing you and making funny. You run with it.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Although part of the problem there is there really isn't
because he's Patrick Melton. Because I'm a fan, a casual fan.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
I didn't know anything about Patrick Milton until Yeah, I
was introduced to the distorted world of Joe.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah. Yeah, and and Melton. Joe Joe can't even say
his name right, His name is actually Patrick Melton m
E L T O N. But Melton rarely talks about him,
like very rarely.

Speaker 2 (25:59):
Yeah, No, I do know that the that Melton hasn't
said anything, but it is members of the Onions group.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
That is still even then, it's so easy. You can
just go ahead and take off with that, run with it, like.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
They call themselves nobody loves Onions, be like, hey, this
is the Crazy Joe show, the show that the Onions
don't even love. Yeah, like there are Like seriously, he
has been given every opportunity, but he's too stupid to
realize it. Yeah, I mean, it's ridiculous, and it's just

(26:47):
it's like the insults. I thought I was in middle
school listening to these videos, like, oh, yeah, you're calling
me gay. Okay, I was called gay when I was
in seventh grade, right right, Hey, it got me mad then,
But I'm forty two years old now, and it's like.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
I don't care school yards.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
Someone thinks I'm gay and I'm forty two. What am
I gonna do? Be like, Oh, let me prove it
to you. I'm not call me a coward. Okay, why
because I won't debate you. No, none of it works.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah, I know, I know. It's too bad. You know,
way back way back before everything went awry with him,
like initially, like when I first met Joe, Like, no,
I've never met him in person, but when he first
started calling my show, and then he got interested in
having a show on IPM and everything, I was actually
excited to work with him because he when when he

(27:56):
wasn't like like before, he showed his true colors and
how racist he is, an anti Semitic and all that.
Like in the very beginning, when I first encountered him,
I thought he was an engaging personality and and I
kind of thought, you know, he's he's got something here,
you know, this this character, this persona which turns out
to be all too real. But the crazy Joe persona,

(28:18):
I thought it had potential.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
But it's not a persona.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
That's the problem. Yeah, a personality, it's it's it's really
it's who he really is.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
Yeah, I mean he was just disappointing a testable human being.
Yeah yeah, it's unfortunate, but such his life.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, all right, well should we move on? We're we're
moving on for although I do just just I just
for some reason, I like showing this picture he did.
He did, of course, interview uh the keyboard player from
h Vanilla Fudgen. He does deserve credit for that. Okay,
so moving on,