January 29, 2025 • 55 mins
Wednesday the 29th of January, it's TripWire Time!!!
Today's episode is part 2 of 2. Staci and I interview Daniel Fornicola, US Army Veteran from a US Navy home. Listen in as we talk about his journey into the US Army and his time as a Paratrooper.
Get Your TripWire On!!!!
Today's episode is part 2 of 2. Staci and I interview Daniel Fornicola, US Army Veteran from a US Navy home. Listen in as we talk about his journey into the US Army and his time as a Paratrooper.
Get Your TripWire On!!!!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Good afternoon everybody. It's time for trip Wire again. It
is Wednesday, January twenty ninth. I can't believe we're twenty
twenty five and we're almost in February already.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
It's ridiculous. How are you, my dear, Good to see you.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Good to see you. I'm excellent. It's warming up.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Well, you say it's warming up, but you look all
bundled up.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Well yeah, I know, you know, but I've been running
around like a crazy person all day. I've been going
from one thing to the next. I didn't even have
a chance to brush my hair. But yeah, it's warmer.
It's warmer, right, so.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
You throw it up. I just put a hat on, yeah,
because I don't know how to brush my hair. So
but anyway, great to see everybody.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I hope you guys are in for another the second
half of a great podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
We were with Daniel last week. Uh, and here's we're
going to come up with the finishing touches this year.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
This week, just so much information, so many things to
talk about and move forward with. Do you have anything
for our audience before we bring Daniel in?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Well, I guess.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
You don't have to have anything. That's fine. I totally.
I'm just totally busting your chops.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
That's fine, But there's there is a lot that's that's
that's that's coming down the road. Hold on, just hold
hold that thought.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Just to me once, say well, you and I, you
and I could next week just have a just have
a show just for us, for we so we can
catch up on you know, Apleville, VF t W, Commander
H Stacy Boyer and all the antics that you're getting
involved in.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Okay, real quick, real quick, I knew there was something
really important.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Here we go, Here we go.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Well, Jennifer Sloan and her her veteran's team at Keller Williams.
They are doing their Disney karaoke at the Apol Post
February eighth, and so we all dressed in costume, and
my Pokehontas costume has arrived, and I am super excited
about how this person is coming together.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
We're totally as the as the only calendar girl for
a tripwire. We're totally posting those pictures.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah it's and I you know, I even like it,
just as is the tinker Bell one.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Oh my god, that's a whole road we're not going
to get into.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Your right now.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
But this is a fundraiser. This is a fundraiser for
the National Home and this is it's amazing. We also
raise money for the National Home with the Juttathon, So
this is this is really important. That's the that's the
cool thing that's coming up. So and there's a Naperville
response for veterans fundraiser with dark Horse dark Horse which
(03:30):
is Strell Cole and he coasted it and it's a
Maddi Grand Night and that's on February twenty first, and
that's the post as well. Both of those things are
all over the place on social media. But if anybody
has questions, if they're watching it, they're like, oh that
sounds exciting, then just send me a little message, give
you the deats.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Exactly exactly, without further ado. I want to bring Daniel
in because he's sitting in the there. He is, Daniel,
Great to see you again, brother.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
How are you well? Well, uh, it's I've been doing
pretty good.
Speaker 6 (04:02):
I've been doing some maintenance you know, on myself since
we last spoke, but everything's been going real well. I
have a real positive outlook on the show today and
thank you for having me on absolutely and.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Steve, and I want him to tell us about maintenance.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I was just I was going to get to that, okay,
so I'd like actually tie it into myself.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
But go ahead, go ahead, Daniel, go ahead, talk about
maintenance with us. Brother, What do you got?
Speaker 6 (04:33):
Well, maintenance is kind of like to put it in
terms for my all my veteran listeners out there.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
It's like doing an after action review, but you do
it on yourself. And yeah, and for me, I do
one like once a week.
Speaker 6 (04:49):
I do it when it's convenient, you know, on the weekend,
usually when it's you know, the morning time and you know, uh,
my house isn't up yet, so I of get some
minutes to myself and I get to make myself some
coffee and really like I just sit down and I
just kind of think about the week, the month. You know,
(05:10):
I don't limit myself to a period, and I just
think about, all right, what's going on, what do I want?
How have I been acting? Because you know, when we
get into this stuff later on, you're going to find
out with the four Bad Jumps that I had all
the things that I had to watch.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
So this is kind of part of that program.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
It's a proverbial quiet time, reflection time in the morning,
or or whatever you want it to be throughout the
day exactly.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
You know, like like my brother he's still in the military.
I love that man so much. He does this too.
He has his own thing. He has h he has
like his office, so his his comfort space office.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
He had a nice drawing table all the things he likes,
and a reading chair so he reads. So he doesn't
do it on the weekend. He just does it whenever
he can.
Speaker 6 (06:02):
So, you know, with the active duty lifestyle, I mean
you kind of kind of make things fit.
Speaker 5 (06:07):
And that's what he does, kind of like what I do.
Speaker 6 (06:09):
And he loves it because it's very peaceful for him
and it allows him to get some of his get
some of his time back, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Sure, Well, you bring up an interesting point. I think
this is going to tie in to the future of
your story that we're going to share here in a minute.
But you talk about that, you know, like, well he
tries to just make time when he's on active duty. Well, technically,
I mean we're all even in civilian life, we're all
on active duty because we all have wants, desires, responsibilities.
(06:41):
We're getting pulled in a hundred different directions. That's the
same lifestyle as active duty. We just have to make
time for ourselves. I think that's the key point through
all of that is we need to make time for
ourselves so that way we stay on focus.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
Absolutely, I mean, Stacy, I'm not sure what it is
that you do for yourself and your time. But but
but uh and I mean I genuinely.
Speaker 5 (07:06):
I don't know, and I would like to find out what.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
I seem laughing at me. I do my walk. I
walk outside a lot.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I work on a vision of a Tesla recharging station
at your house for you myself plugging in every night
that you plug and every night, and that's written, recharge
your energy for the next thing.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
I walk, I walk, I walk outside and if you
ever see me, it's like yes, and then I'm like
really really intentionally walking. And but my workouts, I work out.
I always my workouts are very important to me, especially
like to day and uh yeah, and I do a
lot of reading. I read. I like to read an
actual book. Okay, so like I I like, I like
(07:52):
open up a book and read it. And I and
that for me is getting away from screen time and
getting back to like roots because I like to I'm
a writer, so I like to write book, an actual book.
Speaker 6 (08:05):
Yeah yeah, okay, So like you've got your thing and
that's and that's beautiful that you have your thing. You
figured it out, and uh, you know you making that
for yourself is probably very purposeful. Like when you do
these things and you're gonna you know, think or to
be by yourself, I mean you probably just let your
mind go and you just kind.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Of just yeah, let just let it go.
Speaker 6 (08:28):
But the but the key part I think that people
don't know when whenever you're doing because we do this anyways,
we just call it no fun time. But if you
add in the component of mindfulness and just observation of yourself,
you're going to get a lot out of it that
you never.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Thought of before. Like you're gonna yeah, yeah, got reflection.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
So the word reflection is not as not a buzzword.
We can use that without any issues on this call, uh,
this video cast.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
It's not one of those censored words.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
So well, let's I want to I want to make
sure that the audience understands our our watchers, our listeners.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Reflection is important to each and every one of us.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
And I think a lot of us, a lot of
us spend time getting lost in the sauce when we
don't spend time for ourselves to do reflection sou without
without further ado, I don't want to go down that
I don't want to go down that rabbit hole. But
without further ado, let's pick up where we left off
last week, Daniel, if you don't mind, and let's talk
(09:38):
refresh our our viewers' minds from last week in the
sense of you had four bad jumps in airborne.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yep, yeah, so oh let's go there and let's kick
it off. Let's get to.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
This, thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
So I have twenty jumps total in the eighties, second
Airborne and the last four seventeen, eighteen, nineteen to twenty.
Those were all bad jumps. I fell too fast and
I had head injuries as a result. So anyone who
has jumped out of an airplane landing on the drop
zone and like you kind of didn't track everything, like
(10:18):
there's some parts missing after you fell, you probably have
something that should get checked out, because that's what happened
to me. It happened four times in a row, so
I had and all the injuries were actually in the
same mechanism, like the same physical path. They happened the
same way. So four repeated times when I hit, I
(10:39):
went backwards, and the force was so hard that when
they tell you to keep your chin tuck, it happened
so hard that it ripped my muscle, not ripped them off,
but just it just ripped my head away. And I
hit my head on the on the ground four times,
and I had anywhere from a couple of seconds to
(11:00):
about a minute where I was unconscious and it all
just passes like that and you don't really realize it
because when you come to you're like, oh, I'm awake,
I'm good.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
But no, so that's what happened to me.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Just for clarification for our audience, these are bad jumps.
These are not catastrophic jumps.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Yeah. So I was able to walk away.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Or where you can't walk away from it.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
No, no, no.
Speaker 6 (11:26):
I was able to make it to the collection point,
the rally point, whatever you were told. I was able
to see the med staff and then I went from there.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (11:34):
Okay, yeah, so with these four jump, these four bad jumps. Uh,
some symptoms that I had were migraine like headaches. I
had trouble focusing my physic my vision was was difficult
to focus near too far, so I also had uh
(11:56):
I had balance issues. I had and still have those
balance issues photophobia. So I'm not afraid of light, it's
just that light hits me way harder. So even on
overcast days, I usually wear sunglasses. I still have a
little bit of hearing loss from the head injuries, which
is actually kind of weird because you don't think that
(12:18):
you would mess up your ears when you hit your
head because they don't really move. But long story short,
I lost some frequencies from the jumps. So once I
had my first one, they dropped me into a pipeline,
so I had a whole team of doctors, right like
I talked about last time. So with those symptoms, the headaches,
(12:40):
the vision, the balance issues, I also developed a stutter.
So what you're hearing now is from a lot of
hours with a speech therapist. And to go with that,
I had specifically two hemorrhages brain bleeds in the front
part of my brain, the frontal lobe.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
So I'm not sure what anybody knows.
Speaker 6 (13:03):
About that, but that's your personality, your decision making, your
self control.
Speaker 5 (13:09):
All these things that make you a functioning member.
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Of society in a yeah, those things were degraded. Like
I said, I had to learn how to walk, you know,
properly again, all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
So brain bleeds. Yeah, yeah, I get.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
So what happened with that is I felt useless.
Speaker 6 (13:30):
I felt very useless, and I developed depression like you
would not believe. So getting through the military with depression
was very hard. I had to lean on a lot
of people and it didn't go so well. Not that
not that my team didn't help me. It's just it
just didn't work out for me. So in twenty fourteen,
(13:51):
I actually was discharged. I didn't get medically retired. They
just hey, you're done and you're going to go. So
and it was separation.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So you're an officer, that's not your ets. They just
told you you're done. They're retiring you purposely. Yeah yeah, yeah,
and distinction because enlisted, you know, you get your ets.
They can say thanks, but no thanks, go on your way.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
You're an officer. You're a commissioned officer.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I mean you you kind of do the reaffirm reaffirmation
of yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Gonna stick in the military, or whatever the case may be.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
But they told you thanks for your time, but we're
done with you specifically.
Speaker 6 (14:38):
And this still kind of sticks like it sticks in
my crawl as they say in the South. So with
all of this happening, the chits, the hospital visits the
no PT. When they scheduled me for my next jump
after my fourth one, I missed the manifest so they
wrote me up for missing movement.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
And that's what actually got me kicked out.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I saw that they kicked you out for missing movement
with all these medical issues you were having from the
four bad jumps prior to that.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
Yep, I mean I had I had no recourse. I
mean when when it comes to you know, uh issues
involving officers and you know, discipline and this would count.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
They take it very very seriously, which I.
Speaker 6 (15:22):
Think they should to hold lot of people to a
higher standard, you know, if you're in leadership.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
But I get injured. I was injured. I missed it.
Speaker 6 (15:30):
Because yeah, I missed it because I was on so
many different medications that were downs like a lot you
yes that they prescribed me.
Speaker 5 (15:39):
That was in my medical jacket, that.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Is correct, right, And they have you on full duty
light duty?
Speaker 6 (15:47):
What did they have you so it was it was
light duty, show up at nine because I couldn't do
pt because with the head injuries and the brain bleeds,
you can't increase your blood pressure.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
That's not good.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Limited duty in the army.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Yeah, limited duty, yeah yeah, not like duty.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Light duty is different than limited duty.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Okay, So then you didn't show up at nine?
Speaker 5 (16:11):
No? No, no no, So the jump was scheduled before nine.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Okay, but you weren't supposed to be going to work
until night.
Speaker 6 (16:19):
I brought that issue up because the the the profile
had expired by a bye by about a week, so
they scheduled the jump a week after my profile. My, my, my,
my limited duty profile.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Right, So then let me play Devil's advocate. The profile
had expired prior to the jump. Everybody's still okay with
you showing up at nine, even though they hadn't looked
at your paperwork.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
When when were you supposed to go in and read?
Speaker 6 (16:53):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I guess like reevaluate that shit so that you could
be on limited duty.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
I hadn't had the doctor's appointment to really have my reassessment,
so I mean.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Gave it on who's based on what scenario?
Speaker 6 (17:11):
So the TBI pipeline was supposed to discharge me, and
they didn't. Unless you know, my memory is terrible, which
I mean, honestly, we all we all have bad memory.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Brother, We've all been hitting ahead a couple of times,
but not nothing like what you went through by all means.
Speaker 5 (17:31):
But yeah, So.
Speaker 6 (17:34):
When I got the notice to you know, get out,
it was all right, we're going to go.
Speaker 5 (17:39):
So I go back to my Homer record.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
And I just restarted my I restarted. There was nothing
else to it. I mean, they were like, where do
you want to go? I said, Homer Record. So they
they moved me like they did the Diddy move, and
then I did that. Yeah, And then I vacated and
I went back to Virginia Beach and then I just
started over again with not the health care team. I
(18:01):
had literally no healthcare team because I didn't have a
doctor set up in Virginia Beach yet. And I had
to move my house and that's arduous work, you know,
and all of that. So once I got back to
Virginia Beach, it was, oh shit, what do I do now?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
All right, So.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
You didn't have a job when you moved back home.
Did you know at this point where you married or.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
I was, Yes, yes I was.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
And luckily for me, my family lived, you know, not
far away, but you know, my family is very I
wouldn't say old school, but they are definitely. They definitely
want to make sure people are self sufficient and they
will give you a little bit of time to struggle
(18:49):
before they come in and help.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
And that's what happened.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
And then I eventually actually got myself going because I
did find a job. It was an outside sales selling
car wax, you know, a gas stations. And then after
that I got a job refinishing bathtubs and then all
of this. Right, so this is the summer of twenty fourteen.
I had gotten out in May. I got back to
(19:13):
Virginia Beach, you know, a couple of days later, after
a lef like May thirty first, and then I got
the job doing touch and I had applied for my
VA benefits. This is something that I made sure that
I did as soon as I could. I applied for
my CMP appointments, all that stuff. I got that paperwork started,
(19:34):
and we can get into that later, but that was
one of the best things I did, is to apply
for the benefits that were owed to me, not that
I earned, but they were owed from my service. Everyone here,
you and you, everybody else that we know that are veterans.
If you were injured, you you should get evaluated because
(19:57):
you were.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Injured or not.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Anytime you spent on service, you need to get evaluated
for whatever disabilities you have from the start date to
whenever you get.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
The hell out.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Absolutely, you just just file it because it could be
fifty years before you find out that you need help,
and it's related to time and service, and then therefore
it's covered.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
Yeah, and that's the thing. So I mean, I can
get into more details about it. I used to actually
help people from naval based Norfit get out, which is
my only time I've ever helped anywhere in the Navy
apart from now. So there's that. But yeah, after I
got home and I applied for my benefits, and you know,
(20:43):
I was working. I worked until about March of the
following year when all of my symptoms started to crash.
They just intensified, overwhelmed me, and I.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
Just shut down. I lost my job and a whole
bunch of stuff, not a whole did.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
You lose your marriage, did you lose what else did
you lose? It's important that we share that with listeners.
Speaker 5 (21:08):
Brother. Yeah, I lost I mean I lost a lot
of friends.
Speaker 6 (21:11):
I mean from from this time going up until now,
I do not have the same friends. I do not
have the same likes and dislikes. I am a different
person and I had to find it. But that's the
start point, you know, when I had nothing. I did
not realize this until a couple of years later, but
(21:31):
it was if I have nothing, then I can do anything.
I literally have a blank canvas to go build, collect, create,
whatever it is.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
I had a second chance and I didn't know it.
Speaker 6 (21:46):
So for about four or five years, I really call
it retired because I didn't go back to work.
Speaker 5 (21:53):
I couldn't work. It was it was, it was not good.
Speaker 6 (21:55):
I was actually on disability for a while, and that
actually got me through that in the VA actually allowed
me to rest and recover so I can come back
to work. So this is one of those things that
applying for your benefits, applying to everything owed for you
is important because bounces make pounds, cents make dollars, whatever
(22:16):
you want to say, it all adds up.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
And I've the.
Speaker 6 (22:24):
Big question I asked myself was how did I get here?
You know, how did I have no job? And how
did I have you know, shitty balance? How did I
have problem seeing? How did I not be able to
read a book like I used to? I mean, there
was so many things that got me down and this
(22:45):
depression just carried over.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
And I think it was twenty fifteen was.
Speaker 6 (22:50):
My first attempt at suicide, and then I think there
was two and twenty sixteen or seventeen, and then there
was twenty eighteen. I do believe was my last one.
But during those times, it was, it was. It was
definitely the lowest that I ever felt. And all of these, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
I got question I got questions leading it into going
back to Virginia.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
But I I want to for them.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I want to throw this out there because I'm a
huge advocate. I have a saved date for myself. What
was your what was your choice was choice for for attempt?
Speaker 6 (23:32):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (23:33):
To put a positive spin on this?
Speaker 6 (23:35):
Uh, Mama didn't raise no bitch, So I always try
harder the second time.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
So it was it was.
Speaker 6 (23:44):
It was a half hearted attempt first, but it caused
a lot of damage. That was a razor blade, and
then it was pills and then I tried it one
time to do other things.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
But we're not going to get into that because that's
just not I was creative in ways I should not
have been. I'll put it that way.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Okay, Yeah, but so four time survivor from suicide attempts, yes, sir,
like astronomical amount of depression. Yeah, you effectively you had
medical problems that they were treating you for regardless of.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
A timeline on a chit and then they use.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
They literally do the dirty on you and say lack
of movement.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Now you're getting kicked out.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Yeah yeah, I mean, I.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Mean you're already being seen by medical professionals from your
four bad jumps. But the Army, I got no love
loss with the army. Bro, I'm just gonna throw that
out there. But I'm just going it could be any
branch service, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
But the point is that, especially.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
In twenty fourteen, when we've been at war for thirteen
years already.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
This is how they want to deal with you. This
is how they want to how they want to cut
sling load with you. Yep, you out of service.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Is that's how they want to do it. Is Well,
you missed the movement and we're just going to kick
you out.
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
I mean this was also the time of the drawdown too,
so they were looking for it for they were looking
for any.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Excuse, and I gave it to them. I gave it
to him.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
It doesn't matter how no no, no, no, no, no, no no.
I disagree with all of that. I disagree with all
that because any JAG attorney would have told you bullshit.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Uh, And I'm not This is not any knock on you.
This is a knock on the institution.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
This is a knock on the institution because it has
been nothing. But uh, I mean, you can go back
as far as fifty sixty seventy eighty one hundred years
is nothing but come in, serve us and then get
the fuck out of our way. You know what I'm saying,
they don't care about us is what it boils down to.
(26:08):
And that's my biggest point that I'm trying to bring
to this is that they just don't care about us.
They don't care what happens to us after we serve
their purpose.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
That's my point, That's what I was trying to get at.
I'm sure you can share more.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
I think I'm going down a rabbit hole that I
don't want to go down, so I'll pause for station
identification and let Stacy take over.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
So how about it.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
One of the questions that came to my mind on
one of the things that I was thinking about is
it's very interesting listening to you tell your story because
you I feel like and Stephen and I have had
this conversation about him and the things that he's gone
through and his dark passenger. I like dexter. Sorry I
(27:00):
use I used the terminology.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I love the reference.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Yea historic passenger. But it's it's uh, you were depressed
and you did these things, and you couldn't figure out
why you had lost this sense of yourself and and
one thing, I mean, Steven's going off on a rant
about the army right now, but it's very interesting that
you really haven't blamed anybody else. I don't see it's it.
(27:27):
I see a lot of strength there. I'm curious about
the day that you woke up and you said, Okay,
I've got a clean slate. I'm starting from ground zero
and anything as possible, you know. I'm curious about that.
I can tell that you've got This is why Stephen
has me on the show, because I reflect on things
like this while he just yells flock and smokes a
(27:48):
cigarette and drinks whiskey. No, I'm just I love you.
So so what I'm thinking is like, it's interesting to
me that you're not sitting there playing the victim card
and and blaming the army. I mean, we I think
that the army is at fault here, and I will
do that for you, and Steven will do that for you.
But I am very impressed with the fact that you
were depressed and you had some shitty times, and you
(28:10):
took yourself down that road too many times. But you're
still at this point going I don't know why it
happened and why I lost the sense of myself. And
I mean, you had these jumps and your brain was rattled,
your body was hurt, that's why. And the army didn't
take care of you the way they should have taken
care of you.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
That's why.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
And we'll say it, but I am I'm curious. Do
you remember the day Did you write it down in
a calendar, a journal, the day that you said this
is it? Enough?
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Is enough?
Speaker 3 (28:41):
I'm turning the corner here.
Speaker 6 (28:44):
Oh, I don't remember the day, but I remember the
feeling and the feeling that I had before that. One
was that everything is my fault and I'll and the
four times that I blamed myself the hardest for those
four times, you know, So when I realized that I
(29:06):
had more than that, I mean, it was yeah, okay,
this happened, but what are you going to do about it?
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Like that was the question. It was always what are
you going to do about it?
Speaker 6 (29:20):
My grandfather, my father's father, he said, every day you
start again. And my father is a big fan of
the phrase, what's the next step? So they they really
tagged team me pretty hard with a haymaker to the
face with those two questions. I will say, those are
(29:41):
very big questions when you had do not have a
lot on your plate except emotion, they are very very
big questions.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
So your next step, you know, what was your next
What was your next step?
Speaker 6 (29:57):
Well, my first step was to figure out how to
make you know, a living without having any kind of assistance.
I wanted to be self sufficient again.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
I wanted to be who I was.
Speaker 6 (30:06):
I wanted to be you know, freaking you know, young,
taking on the world, being who I know I can be,
being my best, seeing what I can do, getting after it.
All the things that I loved doing with my team
and the military. I had to recreate my fire team
outside the military, and that was when I got depressed
(30:30):
again because it seems so big. It was so big,
just you can do anything, go anywhere. What do you
want to do? I was like, oh, I want to
help people, so I'll go, I'll go be a doctor.
That was not that, that was shooting way beyond the moon.
I will say for a guy with brain injuries to
(30:51):
be a doctor. We're starting to get into sci fi
a little bit. But to everyone out there who did
have a brain injury and became a doctor, than me go.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
You what do? What is? What do you do?
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Now? What is your job now?
Speaker 5 (31:06):
So I'm in sales.
Speaker 6 (31:07):
Uh I actually work for a a uh masstar mounting
hardware company, which sounds way complicated. But if you look
at like traffic signals and then you wonder how they're
actually on the arm, that's the stuff that I messed with.
It's just the little little brackets behind the signals.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
I've never wondered that, but I will now next time
I'll stop and I'll look at I'll go maybe Daniel.
Speaker 6 (31:33):
Oh yeah, yeah, of course, yeah, yeah. Every time you
stop at a stoplight thinking maybe that's.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
A cool So that's what you sell. You sell, yeah,
and there's definitely a need for that. Do you enjoy that?
Speaker 5 (31:45):
I do?
Speaker 6 (31:46):
I do because before this I I was in insurance,
which was in the same realm, you know, with the
people getting out, you know, moving around. That's who I am,
like in my core is a person who likes people,
wants to help.
Speaker 5 (32:03):
Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sure you can. So you know,
I wanted to give.
Speaker 6 (32:11):
Back because if I didn't have what I needed at
a certain point in my life. It is a statistical
certainty in my mind that there are other people who
need help with something. And with all of the things
that I have been exposed to, experienced, been dragged through,
made pilgrimages for suffered through all these things, they all count.
(32:38):
That's the biggest thing that I learned was that everything
I went through taught me something.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
And that's what the reflection period is for.
Speaker 6 (32:47):
Because if you just sit there for me in the morning,
I just sit there in my little chair of my
coffee and maybe I'll have you know, like Sports Center on.
I love Sports Center, and out randomly something will pop
up from when I was like twenty five, Like when
I bought a Subaru outback instead of the freaking you know,
Toyta Tacoma that I wanted.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
We can't anymore. You bought a Subaru. I'm just throwing
it out there.
Speaker 6 (33:10):
My wife at the time made me get one because
she wanted to have kids. What man, I'm a people pleaser.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
So can we can we talk about her a little
bit with you?
Speaker 2 (33:21):
You know, I'm messing can we talk about her attle bit?
Speaker 5 (33:25):
Sure? No? No, no, no.
Speaker 6 (33:30):
That part of my life has been successfully and healthily closed.
So uh, going back into it really serves no purpose
really for the story other than she was there in
the beginning. She helped me get to where I needed
to go, and she wanted to be the other half
to the equation where she had her own career, be
(33:53):
at home, raise kids and do that thing just like
her parents did. And the way she envisioned it did
not go well for me. So in that point, you know,
I just you know, I checked out.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I So the fact that you take the stance of
not readdressing that topic speaks volumes for you, uh as.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Far as.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Your path to get better for yourself. And I want
to acknowledge that because My biggest thing with my my
story has been that I'm an open book. But I
like the fact that you take certain portions of your
life and you're just like, no, that's uh no, we're
(34:41):
not going to talk about that.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
It's it's done and over with.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
So so it's kind of it's whether or not it's
neutral or or positive or negative doesn't matter. You guys,
You guys, you're protective of that, and I, Paul, I
applaud you for that. You're protective of that because she
was there for you, she did mean something, she did
(35:08):
fill a gap for you, and now you guys have
moved on.
Speaker 5 (35:13):
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Extremely healthy, and I'm I'm applauding you for taking that stance. Er,
that's what I was saying.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
Well, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
And I think I ask you, Daniel, I want to
interrupt you, but I want to ask you a question
and I don't want to I know you don't want
to talk about her, but so you you had these
four you attempted four times, and when was the last time?
How many years ago? Since we're just going to be
transparent about something questions here.
Speaker 5 (35:43):
But I think it's seven years ago now, seven.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Years ago okay, and how long? And you were married
through that whole time, right, she was there for that.
Speaker 6 (35:53):
Well, so this is where my life gets more complicated,
is that the woman he's talking about is not the
same woman and you're talking.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
About Okay, were you married twice?
Speaker 5 (36:04):
I mean I know, yes, yes I was. Yes, yes,
I was. So my first wife, she her and I
got divorced early.
Speaker 6 (36:10):
It was one of those you know we we we
met really young, had ideas and we just didn't grow together.
Speaker 5 (36:17):
We cruised separately.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
I think a lot of people have one of those.
Speaker 4 (36:20):
So then.
Speaker 6 (36:22):
So I need.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Daniel's so dismissive.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
So so next next, So then you were married to
this other woman and she was Was she the one
that was there during this?
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (36:36):
Yes, yes, So then you guys parted ways, but she
she was there through.
Speaker 6 (36:39):
All four she was she was yes, yeah, she saw
the start, she saw me slowly get wobbly, she saw
me forget things more. And then she was the person
that I talked about last episode who was kind of
doing the night shift for me, uh you know, sleepwalking.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Okay, So then you guys, and then you guys divorce.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
First trying trying. I am desperately trying. Okay, And that's
all that I can say on that matter.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Do we don't want to talk about that anymore than so,
okay to the girlfriend that you're with now one yet, so.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
I don't think we need to talk about it anymorelfriend.
Speaker 6 (37:22):
O her, Oh she's amazing. She is Elizabeth, and she
is no names, doesn't matter, Well, doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (37:33):
She comes to the Well, he didn't make him.
Speaker 5 (37:43):
That's the point of all that is important.
Speaker 6 (37:47):
And what you're saying is important because I said no
to the story before and I'm saying no to the
second story now. Is because I've told these stories enough.
And when I tell these stories, the more I accept
them and the more that I overcome them, because saying
it out loud makes it hit different. If you're in
(38:09):
your head the whole day, do this. Just say two
sentences of things that you do not.
Speaker 5 (38:16):
Want to say to anyone.
Speaker 6 (38:17):
Go into your bathroom, say it quietly, but say it
out loud to yourself, and you'll see that the things
that you said in your head and the things that
you just said.
Speaker 5 (38:27):
Out loud, they're not the same. One percent not the same.
Speaker 6 (38:31):
So when I was asked about this by various people,
in my life that cared about me, that cared about them,
you know whatever. In telling those stories, I got to
say how I felt. I got to actually hear how
I felt. I got to Then, once I said it
more and more, I was like, well, you know what,
that might not be right because I know that I
(38:53):
didn't feel that way, But I'm saying this, so that
causes more revelations, that causes more reflection, if you will.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
But it also causes more strife internally because you're Is
that an accurate statement that I just threw out there,
because I question yourself because you One of the biggest
problems I have with the VA, and I'm going to
go off on a very small tangent here, one of
the biggest problems I have with the VA as far
as us trying to deal with mental health is is
(39:21):
that every single person you talk to on the phone,
you got to relive the whole damn scenario through so
that they understand, and that causes conflict within the individual.
And what you're tapping into right now, Daniel, is something
similar to that about your personal situation about what you've
(39:46):
dealt with and who you've been with and whatever the
case may be. I brother, I feel you. I feel
you one.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
So when you tell us, when you tell us that
we're not talking about and topics, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
I'm not the brand new investigator that's trying to make
the name for themselves in a news station.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
I understand what you're saying, and I will not ask
questions about that portion.
Speaker 5 (40:15):
Well, thank you very much, O D. I do appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
But we have a we have a we have a Okay.
So you love your job now absolutely, and you and
your relationships awesome?
Speaker 6 (40:33):
Yeah, and that and that took work though, that took
work because I I didn't think I was ready for
anyone for a while, but you know, ship it happened.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Yea.
Speaker 3 (40:46):
And everything, I mean, everything that's important, that is significant
takes a lot of work. And so that's just that's life.
That's the human condition to understand that what are what
are you involved in? So you're you're newer to the
vf W, and I love that you are going to
be doing more stuff. I hope you are going to
be doing more stuff with us because I think that
you're an asset to our veteran community and what we
(41:07):
want to do for the veterans. There because there's a
lot of people that have there's a lot of us
with dark passengers. No, not everybody talks about it, and
it's nice to be able to know that you've got
people around that don't judge you, that just sometimes can
just sit there, you know, and just be there next
to you and and understand where you're coming from. What
other things do you are you involved in? Where you
(41:29):
said you like, do you want to help people you're
do you do outreach programs? Are you involved with nonprofits, resources, charities? Anything?
Speaker 5 (41:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (41:37):
Actually, So in addition to the VFW, I, I also
became a member of the American Legion and the Naperville
j c's and the Naperville Yeah, the Naperville jc's is it's.
Speaker 5 (41:48):
The Junior Chamber. So it's you know, I sided to join.
Send them to me. It's like, seriously, it's it's it
really is a blast because I.
Speaker 6 (41:58):
Went in with that steria typical and I'm just going
to give you a visual then I'll describe it for
everybody else. But it was like this, I went in
like this year on Pross, shoulders up, just defensive as hell,
just very like I'm not gonna like this, what am
I doing here, and when I talked to someone, I
(42:22):
do believe it was Chad.
Speaker 5 (42:24):
It was Chad. He's the Yeah, he's he made it
all better.
Speaker 6 (42:31):
I mean, for lack of a better term, I mean him,
Dennis Ariena, Danny Andrew, all these people made me feel
welcome and then it kept me coming back. And that's
the exact same thing that happened at the VFW in
the American Legion. So what does this sound like that
I that I touched on earlier. My fire team's being recreated.
(42:51):
But here's here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Are we on your fire team?
Speaker 5 (42:55):
No one?
Speaker 2 (42:56):
Well, mental powers right now, I'm just throwing.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Team Daniels, Well you are you are, and so are
o d So are you.
Speaker 5 (43:09):
But here's the thing.
Speaker 6 (43:10):
Here's the thing that no one tells us. When you're
an adult, you can do whatever you want. You just
got to accept the consequences.
Speaker 5 (43:18):
So I wanted more.
Speaker 6 (43:20):
I wanted more than one fire team. So the f W,
American Legion those kind of combined. That's beautiful. The j
C's that's a different one. I got my home life.
My home life, my fire team is everyone who lives
in my house and my and my pets that's my
fire team. I got two pets on my fire team.
That's how I roll me to no one, Yeah, no one.
(43:45):
No one told me I can't. I couldn't have this.
No one told me I couldn't have seven blankets on
my couch. No one told me I couldn't be.
Speaker 5 (43:56):
It's it's not.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
Okay, we're gonna that's offline. We're not talking about that
right now.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
So she was asking, you know about what you're involved in, uh,
the future and stuff. But she before we brought you on,
she was talking about the Disney thing. So what princess
are you dressing up for for this?
Speaker 3 (44:16):
This costume? Daniel costume going in I'm gonna for the
national home man.
Speaker 5 (44:26):
If I if I go with my dark humor, I'm
gonna be the guy from.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
Up Oh what is his name, the great haired guy
walking with balloons.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 5 (44:41):
I am that's it. That's it, and I'm gonna give
him all away. And then once I gave away all
the balloons, I'm gonna start using the cane as a bat.
I'm just saying how it works, all right.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
I hope you'll see you.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
I'll do We're getting close to the end. I just
want to I got a couple of questions, if you
don't mind, go ahead, all right.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
The date that you got let go from the Army was.
Speaker 5 (45:09):
When May twenty second of twenty fourteen five two two
one four.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
So when you went back to Virginia Beach and you
filed with the VA.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
Have you filed claims with the VA for what you
dealt with why you were on active duty?
Speaker 5 (45:29):
Absolutely?
Speaker 6 (45:30):
Yes, that determination came about nine months later, so I
think it was July of the same year. And then
nine months after July was when I got my determination.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Disability rating based on what you suffered on active duty.
So the reason for my questioning is is this you
were broken when they kicked you out effectively.
Speaker 5 (45:55):
Yes, you talk.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
About the downsizing of the military. You talk about, uh,
you know the lessons learned through the freaking twenty years
that we were in battle. They didn't medboard you.
Speaker 5 (46:14):
Nope.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
I want I want everybody to understand that they said
you're broken, we don't give you shits, and we're just
kicking you out.
Speaker 6 (46:24):
I am not a Blue card holder, correct, I do
not have a Blue ID card. I don't have an
ID card. I just have a VA Healthcare ID card
that proves that I'm a veteran. That's the only thing
so fortunately, But.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
That's not the point. The point is is that the
army said, thanks for your service. You're broken as f
and buy That's what they.
Speaker 5 (46:50):
Said, effectively. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I wasn't I mean?
Speaker 6 (46:56):
And this is where I go back to be like,
you know, I can, like I can make excuses for
anybody you know that did anything wrong to me is
you know, but I'm not going to do it here
because you guys told me not to.
Speaker 5 (47:07):
So I'm I'm little okay, not so.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
Much that we told you not to.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Come on now, you know, don't don't paint us as
the tireraders of what is your justice and what's not
your justice. You have shown through your survival what is
justice for you? What is justice for Daniel? Because you
keep stepping forward, You keep answering the call to not
(47:35):
only your dad's side, but to also your grandfather's questions,
the two questions that the one two punch from.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Your dad and your grandfather every step of the way
as you move forward.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Yet nobody's been there to say, hey, you deserve better
than just thanks for your service and goodbye. You know
what I'm saying. So and I realize I'm going down
a rabbit hole yet again. But the point is, Daniel,
I'm tired. I'm tired of all of us serving this
(48:08):
government and serving these branches of service, and then they
just discard the hell out of us when we're broken
or whatever gin of that is that they view.
Speaker 6 (48:19):
So I had I'm gonna tell you a little story
real quick. So first Sergeant John Oakerson, he retired.
Speaker 5 (48:27):
As an E eight.
Speaker 6 (48:28):
He is probably one of the greatest n CEOs I've
ever ever had the pleasure of meeting. And he actually
lives about five hours south of me. I have not
taken a trip out to see him. But he asked
me a question, probably like two weeks into me get
into my unit.
Speaker 5 (48:45):
It was what are you is a what are you
going to do when you get out?
Speaker 6 (48:50):
Because if you can't wear the uniform and they won't
let you wear the uniform, yeah, what are you gonna do?
Because they're going to fill your spot? And that's and
and and that was the conversation. So he gave me
the next man up speech. It was, Hey, what are
you going to do if just because.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
You used the junk because you're on medical.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
Uh, limited duty doesn't mean that that at that point
in time, you made a conscious decision of saying, Hey,
I want out of the military.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Does that Do you see where I'm going with this?
Speaker 6 (49:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (49:22):
Yeah, I didn't want to get out. I like, like,
my plan was to be a point.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
Yeah, that's my point.
Speaker 6 (49:28):
My plan was to be a battalion commander and you know,
raise up the junior officers below me to be what
I wanted the military to be, which is and please
hear me out to the end, a ruthless and thoughtful,
people centered, objective, crushing force greed.
Speaker 5 (49:49):
That's what I wanted. I wanted the smartest people to do.
Speaker 6 (49:53):
The most when they need when they were required. But
I was also willing to give them the personal leadership
support to make sure it gets done. That's what I
wanted to do. And the off time to recover, Uh yeah,
the off time to recut. Well, I mean, when I
was in the military, yes, you're right, you're right, one
hundred percent, But but I'm always.
Speaker 5 (50:15):
Like, what's next, what's next, what's next, what's next. I
just didn't care.
Speaker 6 (50:19):
I just didn't care when I was in But now
you know, when I realized that I'm a human being,
you know, and I'm not always needing to do a job,
then I can take that time because when you're on
active duty in the civilian world, you have defined hours,
so outside those hours, you can carve out that time.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Agreed.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
I have a question. So you're he was not med
boarded out, so he doesn't have a blue card? No, okay,
So what would be the difference in his situation right
now if he was if he was boarded.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
If he was med boarded, he'd have a retired military
ID card right now, okay.
Speaker 2 (50:56):
And everything that he has.
Speaker 3 (50:58):
Done with the VIDA requirement paid because they would have
med more did him out and retired it, and.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
And everything that he has done with the VA would
have a different connotation with it based on his medboard
process coming out of active duty?
Speaker 3 (51:11):
Can he I didn't fight that? Is there anything that
he can do? So not that I'm trying to put
I like challenges like this.
Speaker 5 (51:21):
Here you go.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
The horse, Oh, wonderful co host of mine. I'm already
working on it.
Speaker 3 (51:30):
Let me know how I can help.
Speaker 5 (51:32):
Absolutely, we will one.
Speaker 6 (51:35):
Yes, yeah, But I do want to like say something
kind of wrap this all up you know. So when
I was at my lowest, I had an external locus
of control. I always thought everything happened to me, and
when when I was at my deepest, it was it
(51:57):
was it was crushing.
Speaker 5 (51:58):
But once I saw a.
Speaker 6 (52:01):
Little bit of well, if it's always everyone else, then
what's the other common denominator? Because it's all different people,
it's only me, that's the common thing. So I shifted
how I look the perspective of how I viewed things.
Speaker 5 (52:16):
I did not take just one.
Speaker 6 (52:19):
That was my biggest trick is in when I was
in I was taught to turn the map around. Everyone
here who's been in the military will understand when you
say turn the map around, you're trying to think like
the enemy of how.
Speaker 5 (52:32):
They would attack you. So that's what I did.
Speaker 6 (52:35):
I said, Okay, well I feel like shit because this
thing happened at work.
Speaker 5 (52:39):
And then it's like, well did you do everything? And
how can we fix this?
Speaker 6 (52:45):
And it's like, okay, well I'll make it over this
now because I realized what happened it was me or
it wasn't and okay, so that makes sense now if
I put myself in the perspective of literally anyone else,
but me. It didn't matter who. It could be a kid,
it could be your mom, it could be your boss.
Speaker 5 (53:02):
Whatever.
Speaker 6 (53:02):
As long as you see from a third party or
just not first, you can see way more.
Speaker 5 (53:10):
And that's what I did. I made it a mission
to ask people, Hey, did this seem right? Hey? Did
I sound okay? There? Hey? Am I coming on too strong?
Or is my language not okay? Whatever it is? You know,
in the situation I was in, I changed it to
what can I affect? What can I control?
Speaker 6 (53:30):
Agree?
Speaker 5 (53:31):
And that got me here on this podcast with od
and Stacey Boyer.
Speaker 2 (53:36):
All Right, so.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
One last statement before we freaking get out of here.
But I'm just gonna say this, if you don't cust
more like a sailor, the next time we're around this,
we're gonna have problems. So and then with that being said, Daniel,
uh so many more topics to jump into about your
path moving forward as we approach this from the outside
(54:00):
looking in. Uh, I want to I want to bring
you back. Stacey and I both want to bring you
back to see your progress moving forward. After February, after
the Disney thing, we got to bring Tom back. We
talked to Tom earlier and we need to bring him
back because we need to know what princess he was.
Speaker 3 (54:21):
So I picked his costume out for him and Faith shit.
Speaker 6 (54:24):
So okay, sorry.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
So I want to just say thank you everybody for
joining us on trip wire this afternoon. Daniel been a
great great having you on, sir, and I'll give you
a call later on today and we'll talk.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
God bless love you all, and remember the path of
freedom is paid with courage and honor.
Speaker 3 (54:48):
Is the wire we never trip
Good afternoon everybody. It's time for trip Wire again. It
is Wednesday, January twenty ninth. I can't believe we're twenty
twenty five and we're almost in February already.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
It's ridiculous. How are you, my dear, Good to see you.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Good to see you. I'm excellent. It's warming up.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Well, you say it's warming up, but you look all
bundled up.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Well yeah, I know, you know, but I've been running
around like a crazy person all day. I've been going
from one thing to the next. I didn't even have
a chance to brush my hair. But yeah, it's warmer.
It's warmer, right, so.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
You throw it up. I just put a hat on, yeah,
because I don't know how to brush my hair. So
but anyway, great to see everybody.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I hope you guys are in for another the second
half of a great podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
We were with Daniel last week. Uh, and here's we're
going to come up with the finishing touches this year.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
This week, just so much information, so many things to
talk about and move forward with. Do you have anything
for our audience before we bring Daniel in?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Well, I guess.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
You don't have to have anything. That's fine. I totally.
I'm just totally busting your chops.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
That's fine, But there's there is a lot that's that's
that's that's coming down the road. Hold on, just hold
hold that thought.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Just to me once, say well, you and I, you
and I could next week just have a just have
a show just for us, for we so we can
catch up on you know, Apleville, VF t W, Commander
H Stacy Boyer and all the antics that you're getting
involved in.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Okay, real quick, real quick, I knew there was something
really important.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Here we go, Here we go.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Well, Jennifer Sloan and her her veteran's team at Keller Williams.
They are doing their Disney karaoke at the Apol Post
February eighth, and so we all dressed in costume, and
my Pokehontas costume has arrived, and I am super excited
about how this person is coming together.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
We're totally as the as the only calendar girl for
a tripwire. We're totally posting those pictures.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah it's and I you know, I even like it,
just as is the tinker Bell one.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Oh my god, that's a whole road we're not going
to get into.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Your right now.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
But this is a fundraiser. This is a fundraiser for
the National Home and this is it's amazing. We also
raise money for the National Home with the Juttathon, So
this is this is really important. That's the that's the
cool thing that's coming up. So and there's a Naperville
response for veterans fundraiser with dark Horse dark Horse which
(03:30):
is Strell Cole and he coasted it and it's a
Maddi Grand Night and that's on February twenty first, and
that's the post as well. Both of those things are
all over the place on social media. But if anybody
has questions, if they're watching it, they're like, oh that
sounds exciting, then just send me a little message, give
you the deats.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Exactly exactly, without further ado. I want to bring Daniel
in because he's sitting in the there. He is, Daniel,
Great to see you again, brother.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
How are you well? Well, uh, it's I've been doing
pretty good.
Speaker 6 (04:02):
I've been doing some maintenance you know, on myself since
we last spoke, but everything's been going real well. I
have a real positive outlook on the show today and
thank you for having me on absolutely and.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Steve, and I want him to tell us about maintenance.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I was just I was going to get to that, okay,
so I'd like actually tie it into myself.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
But go ahead, go ahead, Daniel, go ahead, talk about
maintenance with us. Brother, What do you got?
Speaker 6 (04:33):
Well, maintenance is kind of like to put it in
terms for my all my veteran listeners out there.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
It's like doing an after action review, but you do
it on yourself. And yeah, and for me, I do
one like once a week.
Speaker 6 (04:49):
I do it when it's convenient, you know, on the weekend,
usually when it's you know, the morning time and you know, uh,
my house isn't up yet, so I of get some
minutes to myself and I get to make myself some
coffee and really like I just sit down and I
just kind of think about the week, the month. You know,
(05:10):
I don't limit myself to a period, and I just
think about, all right, what's going on, what do I want?
How have I been acting? Because you know, when we
get into this stuff later on, you're going to find
out with the four Bad Jumps that I had all
the things that I had to watch.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
So this is kind of part of that program.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
It's a proverbial quiet time, reflection time in the morning,
or or whatever you want it to be throughout the
day exactly.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
You know, like like my brother he's still in the military.
I love that man so much. He does this too.
He has his own thing. He has h he has
like his office, so his his comfort space office.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
He had a nice drawing table all the things he likes,
and a reading chair so he reads. So he doesn't
do it on the weekend. He just does it whenever
he can.
Speaker 6 (06:02):
So, you know, with the active duty lifestyle, I mean
you kind of kind of make things fit.
Speaker 5 (06:07):
And that's what he does, kind of like what I do.
Speaker 6 (06:09):
And he loves it because it's very peaceful for him
and it allows him to get some of his get
some of his time back, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Sure, Well, you bring up an interesting point. I think
this is going to tie in to the future of
your story that we're going to share here in a minute.
But you talk about that, you know, like, well he
tries to just make time when he's on active duty. Well, technically,
I mean we're all even in civilian life, we're all
on active duty because we all have wants, desires, responsibilities.
(06:41):
We're getting pulled in a hundred different directions. That's the
same lifestyle as active duty. We just have to make
time for ourselves. I think that's the key point through
all of that is we need to make time for
ourselves so that way we stay on focus.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
Absolutely, I mean, Stacy, I'm not sure what it is
that you do for yourself and your time. But but
but uh and I mean I genuinely.
Speaker 5 (07:06):
I don't know, and I would like to find out what.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
I seem laughing at me. I do my walk. I
walk outside a lot.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I work on a vision of a Tesla recharging station
at your house for you myself plugging in every night
that you plug and every night, and that's written, recharge
your energy for the next thing.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
I walk, I walk, I walk outside and if you
ever see me, it's like yes, and then I'm like
really really intentionally walking. And but my workouts, I work out.
I always my workouts are very important to me, especially
like to day and uh yeah, and I do a
lot of reading. I read. I like to read an
actual book. Okay, so like I I like, I like
(07:52):
open up a book and read it. And I and
that for me is getting away from screen time and
getting back to like roots because I like to I'm
a writer, so I like to write book, an actual book.
Speaker 6 (08:05):
Yeah yeah, okay, So like you've got your thing and
that's and that's beautiful that you have your thing. You
figured it out, and uh, you know you making that
for yourself is probably very purposeful. Like when you do
these things and you're gonna you know, think or to
be by yourself, I mean you probably just let your
mind go and you just kind.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Of just yeah, let just let it go.
Speaker 6 (08:28):
But the but the key part I think that people
don't know when whenever you're doing because we do this anyways,
we just call it no fun time. But if you
add in the component of mindfulness and just observation of yourself,
you're going to get a lot out of it that
you never.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Thought of before. Like you're gonna yeah, yeah, got reflection.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
So the word reflection is not as not a buzzword.
We can use that without any issues on this call, uh,
this video cast.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
It's not one of those censored words.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
So well, let's I want to I want to make
sure that the audience understands our our watchers, our listeners.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Reflection is important to each and every one of us.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
And I think a lot of us, a lot of
us spend time getting lost in the sauce when we
don't spend time for ourselves to do reflection sou without
without further ado, I don't want to go down that
I don't want to go down that rabbit hole. But
without further ado, let's pick up where we left off
last week, Daniel, if you don't mind, and let's talk
(09:38):
refresh our our viewers' minds from last week in the
sense of you had four bad jumps in airborne.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yep, yeah, so oh let's go there and let's kick
it off. Let's get to.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
This, thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
So I have twenty jumps total in the eighties, second
Airborne and the last four seventeen, eighteen, nineteen to twenty.
Those were all bad jumps. I fell too fast and
I had head injuries as a result. So anyone who
has jumped out of an airplane landing on the drop
zone and like you kind of didn't track everything, like
(10:18):
there's some parts missing after you fell, you probably have
something that should get checked out, because that's what happened
to me. It happened four times in a row, so
I had and all the injuries were actually in the
same mechanism, like the same physical path. They happened the
same way. So four repeated times when I hit, I
(10:39):
went backwards, and the force was so hard that when
they tell you to keep your chin tuck, it happened
so hard that it ripped my muscle, not ripped them off,
but just it just ripped my head away. And I
hit my head on the on the ground four times,
and I had anywhere from a couple of seconds to
(11:00):
about a minute where I was unconscious and it all
just passes like that and you don't really realize it
because when you come to you're like, oh, I'm awake,
I'm good.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
But no, so that's what happened to me.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Just for clarification for our audience, these are bad jumps.
These are not catastrophic jumps.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Yeah. So I was able to walk away.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Or where you can't walk away from it.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
No, no, no.
Speaker 6 (11:26):
I was able to make it to the collection point,
the rally point, whatever you were told. I was able
to see the med staff and then I went from there.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (11:34):
Okay, yeah, so with these four jump, these four bad jumps. Uh,
some symptoms that I had were migraine like headaches. I
had trouble focusing my physic my vision was was difficult
to focus near too far, so I also had uh
(11:56):
I had balance issues. I had and still have those
balance issues photophobia. So I'm not afraid of light, it's
just that light hits me way harder. So even on
overcast days, I usually wear sunglasses. I still have a
little bit of hearing loss from the head injuries, which
is actually kind of weird because you don't think that
(12:18):
you would mess up your ears when you hit your
head because they don't really move. But long story short,
I lost some frequencies from the jumps. So once I
had my first one, they dropped me into a pipeline,
so I had a whole team of doctors, right like
I talked about last time. So with those symptoms, the headaches,
(12:40):
the vision, the balance issues, I also developed a stutter.
So what you're hearing now is from a lot of
hours with a speech therapist. And to go with that,
I had specifically two hemorrhages brain bleeds in the front
part of my brain, the frontal lobe.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
So I'm not sure what anybody knows.
Speaker 6 (13:03):
About that, but that's your personality, your decision making, your
self control.
Speaker 5 (13:09):
All these things that make you a functioning member.
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Of society in a yeah, those things were degraded. Like
I said, I had to learn how to walk, you know,
properly again, all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
So brain bleeds. Yeah, yeah, I get.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
So what happened with that is I felt useless.
Speaker 6 (13:30):
I felt very useless, and I developed depression like you
would not believe. So getting through the military with depression
was very hard. I had to lean on a lot
of people and it didn't go so well. Not that
not that my team didn't help me. It's just it
just didn't work out for me. So in twenty fourteen,
(13:51):
I actually was discharged. I didn't get medically retired. They
just hey, you're done and you're going to go. So
and it was separation.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So you're an officer, that's not your ets. They just
told you you're done. They're retiring you purposely. Yeah yeah, yeah,
and distinction because enlisted, you know, you get your ets.
They can say thanks, but no thanks, go on your way.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
You're an officer. You're a commissioned officer.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I mean you you kind of do the reaffirm reaffirmation
of yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Gonna stick in the military, or whatever the case may be.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
But they told you thanks for your time, but we're
done with you specifically.
Speaker 6 (14:38):
And this still kind of sticks like it sticks in
my crawl as they say in the South. So with
all of this happening, the chits, the hospital visits the
no PT. When they scheduled me for my next jump
after my fourth one, I missed the manifest so they
wrote me up for missing movement.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
And that's what actually got me kicked out.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I saw that they kicked you out for missing movement
with all these medical issues you were having from the
four bad jumps prior to that.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
Yep, I mean I had I had no recourse. I
mean when when it comes to you know, uh issues
involving officers and you know, discipline and this would count.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
They take it very very seriously, which I.
Speaker 6 (15:22):
Think they should to hold lot of people to a
higher standard, you know, if you're in leadership.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
But I get injured. I was injured. I missed it.
Speaker 6 (15:30):
Because yeah, I missed it because I was on so
many different medications that were downs like a lot you
yes that they prescribed me.
Speaker 5 (15:39):
That was in my medical jacket, that.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Is correct, right, And they have you on full duty
light duty?
Speaker 6 (15:47):
What did they have you so it was it was
light duty, show up at nine because I couldn't do
pt because with the head injuries and the brain bleeds,
you can't increase your blood pressure.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
That's not good.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Limited duty in the army.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Yeah, limited duty, yeah yeah, not like duty.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Light duty is different than limited duty.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Okay, So then you didn't show up at nine?
Speaker 5 (16:11):
No? No, no no, So the jump was scheduled before nine.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Okay, but you weren't supposed to be going to work
until night.
Speaker 6 (16:19):
I brought that issue up because the the the profile
had expired by a bye by about a week, so
they scheduled the jump a week after my profile. My, my, my,
my limited duty profile.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Right, So then let me play Devil's advocate. The profile
had expired prior to the jump. Everybody's still okay with
you showing up at nine, even though they hadn't looked
at your paperwork.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
When when were you supposed to go in and read?
Speaker 6 (16:53):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I guess like reevaluate that shit so that you could
be on limited duty.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
I hadn't had the doctor's appointment to really have my reassessment,
so I mean.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Gave it on who's based on what scenario?
Speaker 6 (17:11):
So the TBI pipeline was supposed to discharge me, and
they didn't. Unless you know, my memory is terrible, which
I mean, honestly, we all we all have bad memory.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Brother, We've all been hitting ahead a couple of times,
but not nothing like what you went through by all means.
Speaker 5 (17:31):
But yeah, So.
Speaker 6 (17:34):
When I got the notice to you know, get out,
it was all right, we're going to go.
Speaker 5 (17:39):
So I go back to my Homer record.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
And I just restarted my I restarted. There was nothing
else to it. I mean, they were like, where do
you want to go? I said, Homer Record. So they
they moved me like they did the Diddy move, and
then I did that. Yeah, And then I vacated and
I went back to Virginia Beach and then I just
started over again with not the health care team. I
(18:01):
had literally no healthcare team because I didn't have a
doctor set up in Virginia Beach yet. And I had
to move my house and that's arduous work, you know,
and all of that. So once I got back to
Virginia Beach, it was, oh shit, what do I do now?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
All right, So.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
You didn't have a job when you moved back home.
Did you know at this point where you married or.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
I was, Yes, yes I was.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
And luckily for me, my family lived, you know, not
far away, but you know, my family is very I
wouldn't say old school, but they are definitely. They definitely
want to make sure people are self sufficient and they
will give you a little bit of time to struggle
(18:49):
before they come in and help.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
And that's what happened.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
And then I eventually actually got myself going because I
did find a job. It was an outside sales selling
car wax, you know, a gas stations. And then after
that I got a job refinishing bathtubs and then all
of this. Right, so this is the summer of twenty fourteen.
I had gotten out in May. I got back to
(19:13):
Virginia Beach, you know, a couple of days later, after
a lef like May thirty first, and then I got
the job doing touch and I had applied for my
VA benefits. This is something that I made sure that
I did as soon as I could. I applied for
my CMP appointments, all that stuff. I got that paperwork started,
(19:34):
and we can get into that later, but that was
one of the best things I did, is to apply
for the benefits that were owed to me, not that
I earned, but they were owed from my service. Everyone here,
you and you, everybody else that we know that are veterans.
If you were injured, you you should get evaluated because
(19:57):
you were.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Injured or not.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Anytime you spent on service, you need to get evaluated
for whatever disabilities you have from the start date to
whenever you get.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
The hell out.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Absolutely, you just just file it because it could be
fifty years before you find out that you need help,
and it's related to time and service, and then therefore
it's covered.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
Yeah, and that's the thing. So I mean, I can
get into more details about it. I used to actually
help people from naval based Norfit get out, which is
my only time I've ever helped anywhere in the Navy
apart from now. So there's that. But yeah, after I
got home and I applied for my benefits, and you know,
(20:43):
I was working. I worked until about March of the
following year when all of my symptoms started to crash.
They just intensified, overwhelmed me, and I.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
Just shut down. I lost my job and a whole
bunch of stuff, not a whole did.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
You lose your marriage, did you lose what else did
you lose? It's important that we share that with listeners.
Speaker 5 (21:08):
Brother. Yeah, I lost I mean I lost a lot
of friends.
Speaker 6 (21:11):
I mean from from this time going up until now,
I do not have the same friends. I do not
have the same likes and dislikes. I am a different
person and I had to find it. But that's the
start point, you know, when I had nothing. I did
not realize this until a couple of years later, but
(21:31):
it was if I have nothing, then I can do anything.
I literally have a blank canvas to go build, collect, create,
whatever it is.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
I had a second chance and I didn't know it.
Speaker 6 (21:46):
So for about four or five years, I really call
it retired because I didn't go back to work.
Speaker 5 (21:53):
I couldn't work. It was it was, it was not good.
Speaker 6 (21:55):
I was actually on disability for a while, and that
actually got me through that in the VA actually allowed
me to rest and recover so I can come back
to work. So this is one of those things that
applying for your benefits, applying to everything owed for you
is important because bounces make pounds, cents make dollars, whatever
(22:16):
you want to say, it all adds up.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
And I've the.
Speaker 6 (22:24):
Big question I asked myself was how did I get here?
You know, how did I have no job? And how
did I have you know, shitty balance? How did I
have problem seeing? How did I not be able to
read a book like I used to? I mean, there
was so many things that got me down and this
(22:45):
depression just carried over.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
And I think it was twenty fifteen was.
Speaker 6 (22:50):
My first attempt at suicide, and then I think there
was two and twenty sixteen or seventeen, and then there
was twenty eighteen. I do believe was my last one.
But during those times, it was, it was. It was
definitely the lowest that I ever felt. And all of these, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
I got question I got questions leading it into going
back to Virginia.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
But I I want to for them.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I want to throw this out there because I'm a
huge advocate. I have a saved date for myself. What
was your what was your choice was choice for for attempt?
Speaker 6 (23:32):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (23:33):
To put a positive spin on this?
Speaker 6 (23:35):
Uh, Mama didn't raise no bitch, So I always try
harder the second time.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
So it was it was.
Speaker 6 (23:44):
It was a half hearted attempt first, but it caused
a lot of damage. That was a razor blade, and
then it was pills and then I tried it one
time to do other things.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
But we're not going to get into that because that's
just not I was creative in ways I should not
have been. I'll put it that way.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Okay, Yeah, but so four time survivor from suicide attempts, yes, sir,
like astronomical amount of depression. Yeah, you effectively you had
medical problems that they were treating you for regardless of.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
A timeline on a chit and then they use.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
They literally do the dirty on you and say lack
of movement.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Now you're getting kicked out.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Yeah yeah, I mean, I.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Mean you're already being seen by medical professionals from your
four bad jumps. But the Army, I got no love
loss with the army. Bro, I'm just gonna throw that
out there. But I'm just going it could be any
branch service, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
But the point is that, especially.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
In twenty fourteen, when we've been at war for thirteen
years already.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
This is how they want to deal with you. This
is how they want to how they want to cut
sling load with you. Yep, you out of service.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Is that's how they want to do it. Is Well,
you missed the movement and we're just going to kick
you out.
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
I mean this was also the time of the drawdown too,
so they were looking for it for they were looking
for any.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Excuse, and I gave it to them. I gave it
to him.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
It doesn't matter how no no, no, no, no, no, no no.
I disagree with all of that. I disagree with all
that because any JAG attorney would have told you bullshit.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Uh, And I'm not This is not any knock on you.
This is a knock on the institution.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
This is a knock on the institution because it has
been nothing. But uh, I mean, you can go back
as far as fifty sixty seventy eighty one hundred years
is nothing but come in, serve us and then get
the fuck out of our way. You know what I'm saying,
they don't care about us is what it boils down to.
(26:08):
And that's my biggest point that I'm trying to bring
to this is that they just don't care about us.
They don't care what happens to us after we serve
their purpose.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
That's my point, That's what I was trying to get at.
I'm sure you can share more.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
I think I'm going down a rabbit hole that I
don't want to go down, so I'll pause for station
identification and let Stacy take over.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
So how about it.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
One of the questions that came to my mind on
one of the things that I was thinking about is
it's very interesting listening to you tell your story because
you I feel like and Stephen and I have had
this conversation about him and the things that he's gone
through and his dark passenger. I like dexter. Sorry I
(27:00):
use I used the terminology.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I love the reference.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Yea historic passenger. But it's it's uh, you were depressed
and you did these things, and you couldn't figure out
why you had lost this sense of yourself and and
one thing, I mean, Steven's going off on a rant
about the army right now, but it's very interesting that
you really haven't blamed anybody else. I don't see it's it.
(27:27):
I see a lot of strength there. I'm curious about
the day that you woke up and you said, Okay,
I've got a clean slate. I'm starting from ground zero
and anything as possible, you know. I'm curious about that.
I can tell that you've got This is why Stephen
has me on the show, because I reflect on things
like this while he just yells flock and smokes a
(27:48):
cigarette and drinks whiskey. No, I'm just I love you.
So so what I'm thinking is like, it's interesting to
me that you're not sitting there playing the victim card
and and blaming the army. I mean, we I think
that the army is at fault here, and I will
do that for you, and Steven will do that for you.
But I am very impressed with the fact that you
were depressed and you had some shitty times, and you
(28:10):
took yourself down that road too many times. But you're
still at this point going I don't know why it
happened and why I lost the sense of myself. And
I mean, you had these jumps and your brain was rattled,
your body was hurt, that's why. And the army didn't
take care of you the way they should have taken
care of you.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
That's why.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
And we'll say it, but I am I'm curious. Do
you remember the day Did you write it down in
a calendar, a journal, the day that you said this
is it? Enough?
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Is enough?
Speaker 3 (28:41):
I'm turning the corner here.
Speaker 6 (28:44):
Oh, I don't remember the day, but I remember the
feeling and the feeling that I had before that. One
was that everything is my fault and I'll and the
four times that I blamed myself the hardest for those
four times, you know, So when I realized that I
(29:06):
had more than that, I mean, it was yeah, okay,
this happened, but what are you going to do about it?
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Like that was the question. It was always what are
you going to do about it?
Speaker 6 (29:20):
My grandfather, my father's father, he said, every day you
start again. And my father is a big fan of
the phrase, what's the next step? So they they really
tagged team me pretty hard with a haymaker to the
face with those two questions. I will say, those are
(29:41):
very big questions when you had do not have a
lot on your plate except emotion, they are very very
big questions.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
So your next step, you know, what was your next
What was your next step?
Speaker 6 (29:57):
Well, my first step was to figure out how to
make you know, a living without having any kind of assistance.
I wanted to be self sufficient again.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
I wanted to be who I was.
Speaker 6 (30:06):
I wanted to be you know, freaking you know, young,
taking on the world, being who I know I can be,
being my best, seeing what I can do, getting after it.
All the things that I loved doing with my team
and the military. I had to recreate my fire team
outside the military, and that was when I got depressed
(30:30):
again because it seems so big. It was so big,
just you can do anything, go anywhere. What do you
want to do? I was like, oh, I want to
help people, so I'll go, I'll go be a doctor.
That was not that, that was shooting way beyond the moon.
I will say for a guy with brain injuries to
(30:51):
be a doctor. We're starting to get into sci fi
a little bit. But to everyone out there who did
have a brain injury and became a doctor, than me go.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
You what do? What is? What do you do?
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Now? What is your job now?
Speaker 5 (31:06):
So I'm in sales.
Speaker 6 (31:07):
Uh I actually work for a a uh masstar mounting
hardware company, which sounds way complicated. But if you look
at like traffic signals and then you wonder how they're
actually on the arm, that's the stuff that I messed with.
It's just the little little brackets behind the signals.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
I've never wondered that, but I will now next time
I'll stop and I'll look at I'll go maybe Daniel.
Speaker 6 (31:33):
Oh yeah, yeah, of course, yeah, yeah. Every time you
stop at a stoplight thinking maybe that's.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
A cool So that's what you sell. You sell, yeah,
and there's definitely a need for that. Do you enjoy that?
Speaker 5 (31:45):
I do?
Speaker 6 (31:46):
I do because before this I I was in insurance,
which was in the same realm, you know, with the
people getting out, you know, moving around. That's who I am,
like in my core is a person who likes people,
wants to help.
Speaker 5 (32:03):
Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sure you can. So you know,
I wanted to give.
Speaker 6 (32:11):
Back because if I didn't have what I needed at
a certain point in my life. It is a statistical
certainty in my mind that there are other people who
need help with something. And with all of the things
that I have been exposed to, experienced, been dragged through,
made pilgrimages for suffered through all these things, they all count.
(32:38):
That's the biggest thing that I learned was that everything
I went through taught me something.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
And that's what the reflection period is for.
Speaker 6 (32:47):
Because if you just sit there for me in the morning,
I just sit there in my little chair of my
coffee and maybe I'll have you know, like Sports Center on.
I love Sports Center, and out randomly something will pop
up from when I was like twenty five, Like when
I bought a Subaru outback instead of the freaking you know,
Toyta Tacoma that I wanted.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
We can't anymore. You bought a Subaru. I'm just throwing
it out there.
Speaker 6 (33:10):
My wife at the time made me get one because
she wanted to have kids. What man, I'm a people pleaser.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
So can we can we talk about her a little
bit with you?
Speaker 2 (33:21):
You know, I'm messing can we talk about her attle bit?
Speaker 5 (33:25):
Sure? No? No, no, no.
Speaker 6 (33:30):
That part of my life has been successfully and healthily closed.
So uh, going back into it really serves no purpose
really for the story other than she was there in
the beginning. She helped me get to where I needed
to go, and she wanted to be the other half
to the equation where she had her own career, be
(33:53):
at home, raise kids and do that thing just like
her parents did. And the way she envisioned it did
not go well for me. So in that point, you know,
I just you know, I checked out.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I So the fact that you take the stance of
not readdressing that topic speaks volumes for you, uh as.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Far as.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Your path to get better for yourself. And I want
to acknowledge that because My biggest thing with my my
story has been that I'm an open book. But I
like the fact that you take certain portions of your
life and you're just like, no, that's uh no, we're
(34:41):
not going to talk about that.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
It's it's done and over with.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
So so it's kind of it's whether or not it's
neutral or or positive or negative doesn't matter. You guys,
You guys, you're protective of that, and I, Paul, I
applaud you for that. You're protective of that because she
was there for you, she did mean something, she did
(35:08):
fill a gap for you, and now you guys have
moved on.
Speaker 5 (35:13):
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Extremely healthy, and I'm I'm applauding you for taking that stance. Er,
that's what I was saying.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
Well, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
And I think I ask you, Daniel, I want to
interrupt you, but I want to ask you a question
and I don't want to I know you don't want
to talk about her, but so you you had these
four you attempted four times, and when was the last time?
How many years ago? Since we're just going to be
transparent about something questions here.
Speaker 5 (35:43):
But I think it's seven years ago now, seven.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Years ago okay, and how long? And you were married
through that whole time, right, she was there for that.
Speaker 6 (35:53):
Well, so this is where my life gets more complicated,
is that the woman he's talking about is not the
same woman and you're talking.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
About Okay, were you married twice?
Speaker 5 (36:04):
I mean I know, yes, yes I was. Yes, yes,
I was. So my first wife, she her and I
got divorced early.
Speaker 6 (36:10):
It was one of those you know we we we
met really young, had ideas and we just didn't grow together.
Speaker 5 (36:17):
We cruised separately.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
I think a lot of people have one of those.
Speaker 4 (36:20):
So then.
Speaker 6 (36:22):
So I need.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Daniel's so dismissive.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
So so next next, So then you were married to
this other woman and she was Was she the one
that was there during this?
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (36:36):
Yes, yes, So then you guys parted ways, but she
she was there through.
Speaker 6 (36:39):
All four she was she was yes, yeah, she saw
the start, she saw me slowly get wobbly, she saw
me forget things more. And then she was the person
that I talked about last episode who was kind of
doing the night shift for me, uh you know, sleepwalking.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Okay, So then you guys, and then you guys divorce.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
First trying trying. I am desperately trying. Okay, And that's
all that I can say on that matter.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Do we don't want to talk about that anymore than so,
okay to the girlfriend that you're with now one yet, so.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
I don't think we need to talk about it anymorelfriend.
Speaker 6 (37:22):
O her, Oh she's amazing. She is Elizabeth, and she
is no names, doesn't matter, Well, doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (37:33):
She comes to the Well, he didn't make him.
Speaker 5 (37:43):
That's the point of all that is important.
Speaker 6 (37:47):
And what you're saying is important because I said no
to the story before and I'm saying no to the
second story now. Is because I've told these stories enough.
And when I tell these stories, the more I accept
them and the more that I overcome them, because saying
it out loud makes it hit different. If you're in
(38:09):
your head the whole day, do this. Just say two
sentences of things that you do not.
Speaker 5 (38:16):
Want to say to anyone.
Speaker 6 (38:17):
Go into your bathroom, say it quietly, but say it
out loud to yourself, and you'll see that the things
that you said in your head and the things that
you just said.
Speaker 5 (38:27):
Out loud, they're not the same. One percent not the same.
Speaker 6 (38:31):
So when I was asked about this by various people,
in my life that cared about me, that cared about them,
you know whatever. In telling those stories, I got to
say how I felt. I got to actually hear how
I felt. I got to Then, once I said it
more and more, I was like, well, you know what,
that might not be right because I know that I
(38:53):
didn't feel that way, But I'm saying this, so that
causes more revelations, that causes more reflection, if you will.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
But it also causes more strife internally because you're Is
that an accurate statement that I just threw out there,
because I question yourself because you One of the biggest
problems I have with the VA, and I'm going to
go off on a very small tangent here, one of
the biggest problems I have with the VA as far
as us trying to deal with mental health is is
(39:21):
that every single person you talk to on the phone,
you got to relive the whole damn scenario through so
that they understand, and that causes conflict within the individual.
And what you're tapping into right now, Daniel, is something
similar to that about your personal situation about what you've
(39:46):
dealt with and who you've been with and whatever the
case may be. I brother, I feel you. I feel
you one.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
So when you tell us, when you tell us that
we're not talking about and topics, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
I'm not the brand new investigator that's trying to make
the name for themselves in a news station.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
I understand what you're saying, and I will not ask
questions about that portion.
Speaker 5 (40:15):
Well, thank you very much, O D. I do appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
But we have a we have a we have a Okay.
So you love your job now absolutely, and you and
your relationships awesome?
Speaker 6 (40:33):
Yeah, and that and that took work though, that took
work because I I didn't think I was ready for
anyone for a while, but you know, ship it happened.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Yea.
Speaker 3 (40:46):
And everything, I mean, everything that's important, that is significant
takes a lot of work. And so that's just that's life.
That's the human condition to understand that what are what
are you involved in? So you're you're newer to the
vf W, and I love that you are going to
be doing more stuff. I hope you are going to
be doing more stuff with us because I think that
you're an asset to our veteran community and what we
(41:07):
want to do for the veterans. There because there's a
lot of people that have there's a lot of us
with dark passengers. No, not everybody talks about it, and
it's nice to be able to know that you've got
people around that don't judge you, that just sometimes can
just sit there, you know, and just be there next
to you and and understand where you're coming from. What
other things do you are you involved in? Where you
(41:29):
said you like, do you want to help people you're
do you do outreach programs? Are you involved with nonprofits, resources, charities? Anything?
Speaker 5 (41:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (41:37):
Actually, So in addition to the VFW, I, I also
became a member of the American Legion and the Naperville
j c's and the Naperville Yeah, the Naperville jc's is it's.
Speaker 5 (41:48):
The Junior Chamber. So it's you know, I sided to join.
Send them to me. It's like, seriously, it's it's it
really is a blast because I.
Speaker 6 (41:58):
Went in with that steria typical and I'm just going
to give you a visual then I'll describe it for
everybody else. But it was like this, I went in
like this year on Pross, shoulders up, just defensive as hell,
just very like I'm not gonna like this, what am
I doing here, and when I talked to someone, I
(42:22):
do believe it was Chad.
Speaker 5 (42:24):
It was Chad. He's the Yeah, he's he made it
all better.
Speaker 6 (42:31):
I mean, for lack of a better term, I mean him,
Dennis Ariena, Danny Andrew, all these people made me feel
welcome and then it kept me coming back. And that's
the exact same thing that happened at the VFW in
the American Legion. So what does this sound like that
I that I touched on earlier. My fire team's being recreated.
(42:51):
But here's here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Are we on your fire team?
Speaker 5 (42:55):
No one?
Speaker 2 (42:56):
Well, mental powers right now, I'm just throwing.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Team Daniels, Well you are you are, and so are
o d So are you.
Speaker 5 (43:09):
But here's the thing.
Speaker 6 (43:10):
Here's the thing that no one tells us. When you're
an adult, you can do whatever you want. You just
got to accept the consequences.
Speaker 5 (43:18):
So I wanted more.
Speaker 6 (43:20):
I wanted more than one fire team. So the f W,
American Legion those kind of combined. That's beautiful. The j
C's that's a different one. I got my home life.
My home life, my fire team is everyone who lives
in my house and my and my pets that's my
fire team. I got two pets on my fire team.
That's how I roll me to no one, Yeah, no one.
(43:45):
No one told me I can't. I couldn't have this.
No one told me I couldn't have seven blankets on
my couch. No one told me I couldn't be.
Speaker 5 (43:56):
It's it's not.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
Okay, we're gonna that's offline. We're not talking about that
right now.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
So she was asking, you know about what you're involved in, uh,
the future and stuff. But she before we brought you on,
she was talking about the Disney thing. So what princess
are you dressing up for for this?
Speaker 3 (44:16):
This costume? Daniel costume going in I'm gonna for the
national home man.
Speaker 5 (44:26):
If I if I go with my dark humor, I'm
gonna be the guy from.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
Up Oh what is his name, the great haired guy
walking with balloons.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 5 (44:41):
I am that's it. That's it, and I'm gonna give
him all away. And then once I gave away all
the balloons, I'm gonna start using the cane as a bat.
I'm just saying how it works, all right.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
I hope you'll see you.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
I'll do We're getting close to the end. I just
want to I got a couple of questions, if you
don't mind, go ahead, all right.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
The date that you got let go from the Army was.
Speaker 5 (45:09):
When May twenty second of twenty fourteen five two two
one four.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
So when you went back to Virginia Beach and you
filed with the VA.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
Have you filed claims with the VA for what you
dealt with why you were on active duty?
Speaker 5 (45:29):
Absolutely?
Speaker 6 (45:30):
Yes, that determination came about nine months later, so I
think it was July of the same year. And then
nine months after July was when I got my determination.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Disability rating based on what you suffered on active duty.
So the reason for my questioning is is this you
were broken when they kicked you out effectively.
Speaker 5 (45:55):
Yes, you talk.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
About the downsizing of the military. You talk about, uh,
you know the lessons learned through the freaking twenty years
that we were in battle. They didn't medboard you.
Speaker 5 (46:14):
Nope.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
I want I want everybody to understand that they said
you're broken, we don't give you shits, and we're just
kicking you out.
Speaker 6 (46:24):
I am not a Blue card holder, correct, I do
not have a Blue ID card. I don't have an
ID card. I just have a VA Healthcare ID card
that proves that I'm a veteran. That's the only thing
so fortunately, But.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
That's not the point. The point is is that the
army said, thanks for your service. You're broken as f
and buy That's what they.
Speaker 5 (46:50):
Said, effectively. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I wasn't I mean?
Speaker 6 (46:56):
And this is where I go back to be like,
you know, I can, like I can make excuses for
anybody you know that did anything wrong to me is
you know, but I'm not going to do it here
because you guys told me not to.
Speaker 5 (47:07):
So I'm I'm little okay, not so.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
Much that we told you not to.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Come on now, you know, don't don't paint us as
the tireraders of what is your justice and what's not
your justice. You have shown through your survival what is
justice for you? What is justice for Daniel? Because you
keep stepping forward, You keep answering the call to not
(47:35):
only your dad's side, but to also your grandfather's questions,
the two questions that the one two punch from.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Your dad and your grandfather every step of the way
as you move forward.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Yet nobody's been there to say, hey, you deserve better
than just thanks for your service and goodbye. You know
what I'm saying. So and I realize I'm going down
a rabbit hole yet again. But the point is, Daniel,
I'm tired. I'm tired of all of us serving this
(48:08):
government and serving these branches of service, and then they
just discard the hell out of us when we're broken
or whatever gin of that is that they view.
Speaker 6 (48:19):
So I had I'm gonna tell you a little story
real quick. So first Sergeant John Oakerson, he retired.
Speaker 5 (48:27):
As an E eight.
Speaker 6 (48:28):
He is probably one of the greatest n CEOs I've
ever ever had the pleasure of meeting. And he actually
lives about five hours south of me. I have not
taken a trip out to see him. But he asked
me a question, probably like two weeks into me get
into my unit.
Speaker 5 (48:45):
It was what are you is a what are you
going to do when you get out?
Speaker 6 (48:50):
Because if you can't wear the uniform and they won't
let you wear the uniform, yeah, what are you gonna do?
Because they're going to fill your spot? And that's and
and and that was the conversation. So he gave me
the next man up speech. It was, Hey, what are
you going to do if just because.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
You used the junk because you're on medical.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
Uh, limited duty doesn't mean that that at that point
in time, you made a conscious decision of saying, Hey,
I want out of the military.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Does that Do you see where I'm going with this?
Speaker 6 (49:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (49:22):
Yeah, I didn't want to get out. I like, like,
my plan was to be a point.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
Yeah, that's my point.
Speaker 6 (49:28):
My plan was to be a battalion commander and you know,
raise up the junior officers below me to be what
I wanted the military to be, which is and please
hear me out to the end, a ruthless and thoughtful,
people centered, objective, crushing force greed.
Speaker 5 (49:49):
That's what I wanted. I wanted the smartest people to do.
Speaker 6 (49:53):
The most when they need when they were required. But
I was also willing to give them the personal leadership
support to make sure it gets done. That's what I
wanted to do. And the off time to recover, Uh yeah,
the off time to recut. Well, I mean, when I
was in the military, yes, you're right, you're right, one
hundred percent, But but I'm always.
Speaker 5 (50:15):
Like, what's next, what's next, what's next, what's next. I
just didn't care.
Speaker 6 (50:19):
I just didn't care when I was in But now
you know, when I realized that I'm a human being,
you know, and I'm not always needing to do a job,
then I can take that time because when you're on
active duty in the civilian world, you have defined hours,
so outside those hours, you can carve out that time.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Agreed.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
I have a question. So you're he was not med
boarded out, so he doesn't have a blue card? No, okay,
So what would be the difference in his situation right
now if he was if he was boarded.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
If he was med boarded, he'd have a retired military
ID card right now, okay.
Speaker 2 (50:56):
And everything that he has.
Speaker 3 (50:58):
Done with the VIDA requirement paid because they would have
med more did him out and retired it, and.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
And everything that he has done with the VA would
have a different connotation with it based on his medboard
process coming out of active duty?
Speaker 3 (51:11):
Can he I didn't fight that? Is there anything that
he can do? So not that I'm trying to put
I like challenges like this.
Speaker 5 (51:21):
Here you go.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
The horse, Oh, wonderful co host of mine. I'm already
working on it.
Speaker 3 (51:30):
Let me know how I can help.
Speaker 5 (51:32):
Absolutely, we will one.
Speaker 6 (51:35):
Yes, yeah, But I do want to like say something
kind of wrap this all up you know. So when
I was at my lowest, I had an external locus
of control. I always thought everything happened to me, and
when when I was at my deepest, it was it
(51:57):
was it was crushing.
Speaker 5 (51:58):
But once I saw a.
Speaker 6 (52:01):
Little bit of well, if it's always everyone else, then
what's the other common denominator? Because it's all different people,
it's only me, that's the common thing. So I shifted
how I look the perspective of how I viewed things.
Speaker 5 (52:16):
I did not take just one.
Speaker 6 (52:19):
That was my biggest trick is in when I was
in I was taught to turn the map around. Everyone
here who's been in the military will understand when you
say turn the map around, you're trying to think like
the enemy of how.
Speaker 5 (52:32):
They would attack you. So that's what I did.
Speaker 6 (52:35):
I said, Okay, well I feel like shit because this
thing happened at work.
Speaker 5 (52:39):
And then it's like, well did you do everything? And
how can we fix this?
Speaker 6 (52:45):
And it's like, okay, well I'll make it over this
now because I realized what happened it was me or
it wasn't and okay, so that makes sense now if
I put myself in the perspective of literally anyone else,
but me. It didn't matter who. It could be a kid,
it could be your mom, it could be your boss.
Speaker 5 (53:02):
Whatever.
Speaker 6 (53:02):
As long as you see from a third party or
just not first, you can see way more.
Speaker 5 (53:10):
And that's what I did. I made it a mission
to ask people, Hey, did this seem right? Hey? Did
I sound okay? There? Hey? Am I coming on too strong?
Or is my language not okay? Whatever it is? You know,
in the situation I was in, I changed it to
what can I affect? What can I control?
Speaker 6 (53:30):
Agree?
Speaker 5 (53:31):
And that got me here on this podcast with od
and Stacey Boyer.
Speaker 2 (53:36):
All Right, so.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
One last statement before we freaking get out of here.
But I'm just gonna say this, if you don't cust
more like a sailor, the next time we're around this,
we're gonna have problems. So and then with that being said, Daniel,
uh so many more topics to jump into about your
path moving forward as we approach this from the outside
(54:00):
looking in. Uh, I want to I want to bring
you back. Stacey and I both want to bring you
back to see your progress moving forward. After February, after
the Disney thing, we got to bring Tom back. We
talked to Tom earlier and we need to bring him
back because we need to know what princess he was.
Speaker 3 (54:21):
So I picked his costume out for him and Faith shit.
Speaker 6 (54:24):
So okay, sorry.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
So I want to just say thank you everybody for
joining us on trip wire this afternoon. Daniel been a
great great having you on, sir, and I'll give you
a call later on today and we'll talk.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
God bless love you all, and remember the path of
freedom is paid with courage and honor.
Speaker 3 (54:48):
Is the wire we never trip
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