Moms Of Reddit, What Were The Most Desperate Advances You've Had To Face From Your Sons' Friends?

Moms Of Reddit, What Were The Most Desperate Advances You've Had To Face From Your Sons' Friends?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mom shells have read it. What were some of the
most desperate advances you've had to deal with from your
son's friends? Story one. I have two daughters, and over
the years I've had more than a few of their
guy friends hit on me. We moved to a new
town a few years back, and since both my girls
are pretty, they made a lot of new guy friends quickly,

(00:20):
some of whom started hanging around our house pretty often.
I'd chat with them here and there, usually while they
were all hanging out in the living room or kitchen,
and I'd stick around just to get a feel for
whom my daughters were spending time with. Some of the
older looking guys would occasionally drop comments little testers to
see if they could get away with flirting. I don't
remember everything that was said, but two moments stand out

(00:41):
in particular. The first one happened when my daughter came
in with a group of friends and asked me to
give several of them a ride home. I told her
I just needed to hurry and change out of my
gym clothes and I'd be right down. Next thing I know,
there's a knock on my bedroom door. I asked who
it was. My daughter wouldn't knock, and from the other
side of the door, I heard a boy ask if

(01:02):
I needed any help changing. I told him to get
his ass out of my house. The second one happened
at a party my other daughter threw at our house.
One of the boys came up and put his arm
around me and asked to see my cocoa melons. I
was so shocked I couldn't think of anything to say
other than f off. Then I told him to leave.
The next day, he called my daughter and asked her

(01:23):
to ask me if he would ever have a chance seriously.
It finally got to the point that she asked me
not to come around when her guy friends were over
and not to talk to them when I see them
at the school, because she was sick of hearing things
about me from the guys. I had to start just
being a bish after that, because obviously me being nice
was taken as something other than what I'd intended, and

(01:44):
I didn't want to embarrass my daughters anymore. Before we continue,
do us a quick favor smash that like button and
subscribe to support our channel. Story two. I don't really
consider myself a mom shell or anything like that, but
I have had a few of my son's friends try
to make more on me. I had my first kid
in my early twenties, so I'm definitely a younger mom

(02:04):
compared to most around here. Plus I'm Colombian, an immigrant
living in a small southern town, and I think that
plays a bigger role than my actual looks. I'm just
something different from what the teen boys around here are
used to, and that seems to catch their attention more
than anything else. The weirdest moment, by far happened a
couple of years ago when my boys had some friends

(02:24):
over for a movie night. I was watching the movie
with them, just hanging out like I usually do, when
one of the boys casually put his arm around me.
I didn't want to embarrass him or make it into
a big scene, so I tried to play it cool
and ease out of the situation. I yawned, then told
the group I was heading to bed, But then, to
my surprise, the kid stood up and started following me.

(02:48):
I asked him what he was doing, and he straight
up said he thought I wanted him to come to
bed with me. I had to explain as gently but
clearly as I could that it was a misunderstanding and
that I absolutely did not want him to come upstairs
with me. He apologized thankfully and went back to join
the rest of the group in the media room. My
oldest is a senior in high school now and has

(03:09):
been asked by his friends if they can take me
to prom if they can't find another date. Story three.
On the flip side of this, I, being the hormonal
eighteen year old I was, had a friend whose mom
was an absolute knockout. I'm talking everything your teenage brain
could ever whack it to. One night, my friend was
staying over at my house and his mom needed to

(03:32):
get my number for emergency purposes. This was about a
week before I turned nineteen. At first I jokingly tried
to flirt with her, showing off my young bravado. Then
it actually worked. About two weeks after I turned nineteen,
she picked me up in her car. My buddy had
no idea and still dozen't to this day. Took me

(03:52):
to a motel. She was in an unhappy marriage, and
I proceeded to live out every mom shell hungry teenage
boy's dream for about five minutes. I've never learned so
much in five minutes in my entire life, and because
of that experience, I honestly think I became a much
better lay. If you ever get the chance to sleep
with an older woman, I highly recommend it. Story four.

(04:15):
I wouldn't say I'm a momshell, but two of my
daughter's friends have hit on me, and her boyfriend of
three years tried to kiss me. The most desperate was
the boyfriend. We went on vacation for my daughter's twenty
first birthday to a small town with hot springs. While
my daughter, her boyfriend, and her friends camped nearby, I
stayed in a hotel to give the young people their privacy.

(04:37):
We all went together for a soak one evening, but
my daughter wasn't feeling well and stayed at the campground.
After the soak, the boyfriend was quite drunk, so I
gave him a ride back to the campsite. When we arrived,
he started professing his undying love for me, said my
name three times in his most serious attempt at a
sexy voice, and leaned in for a kiss. He never

(04:58):
saw my fist, but he he felt it land squarely
in his sternum. It made for an awkward morning, he
confessed to my daughter the next day. And she laughed
hysterically at his ridiculousness. They broke up not long after.
He was pretty good at doing and saying ridiculous things
when drinking. My daughter and I also have a wonderful
bond and a lot of trust. Story five. I'm not

(05:21):
sure that this qualifies, but here goes. When I was
forty five, I guess I hit my peak. We went
to the pool in Vegas and men kept hitting on me.
One time I went to the bathroom, which was about
two hundred feet away from the pool, behind a row
of trimmed hedges. Seven men in their twenties or so
hit on me. During the short trip to and from

(05:41):
the bathroom. One young man was pretty insistent. He said
that his hotel room was right there on the property.
We could be back in seven minutes. Before my husband
even noticed that I was gone, I started laughing so uproariously.
I wasn't gonna go no matter the offer. But come on,
if you're going to try to seduce me, you could
do better than that. I said, no, thank you. If

(06:03):
I was going to fool around, he would have to
do better than that. It would take us three minutes
to get up to his room. I would certainly hope
for more than a minute of pleasure. Story six. I'd
been telling this on behalf of my wife. When her
oldest was a senior in high school. His best friend
turned into a raging twat. I've since learned that's pretty
normal for teenage boys, but at the time I had

(06:25):
no idea. He was polite to the point of obsequiousness
around us. But her oldest told us with some annoyance,
how this kid wouldn't stop talking about what a momshell
my wife was when they were at school. We mostly
found it amusing until about ten years ago. I don't
really remember the context leading up to it, but one
day he was hanging out at our house. We were

(06:46):
all chilling and watching TV on the couch when he
suddenly leaned over, put his arm around my wife and
squeezed her chesticle. From my perspective, I was just watching
TV when all hell broke loose right next to me.
I heard my wife scream, what the hell do you
think you're doing, you little pervert. The next thing I knew,
her fists were flying. I stood up, turned around and

(07:08):
watched her beating the living hell out of him. She
was pummeling him from a sitting position while he tried
to cover his head and his family jewels. Honestly, my
instincts were torn in two. On one hand, I was
angry and wanted to defend my wife from this young
punk's attempt at essay. On the other, he was getting
his butt kicked so badly I thought maybe I needed

(07:30):
to pull him out of there before things got worse.
In the few seconds it took me to process this
flood of conflicting emotions, it was over. My wife stood up, screamed,
get the hell out of my house, and stormed into
the bedroom. I had just enough time to screw up
my angry big husband, gonna mess you up even worse's
face before the kid bolted out. Where was my steps on?

(07:52):
In all this? He was literally on the floor, laughing
his full head off. Moral of the story, you never
know who whose mom might have a nasty case of
PTSD tread lightly story seven. I'd hesitate to call myself
a momshell, but most of my son's friends would do
the struggle to maintain eye contact. Thing we're all familiar with.

(08:13):
The worst most blatant violation any of them committed was
when They were all in my house. I had just
finished making them three trays of pizza bagels, and as
I dropped them off in the game room, they were
playing Crash Bandicoot. I was heading out and told them
to let me know if they needed anything else. One
of the cheeky little bastards straight up gave me the
up and down and said maybe later after the kids

(08:37):
have gone to bed. The entire room went quiet. At first,
I started to get angry, but upon briefly considering the crowd,
I just started laughing. I maintained eye contact with the
jokester and moved towards him, laughing a little crazily the
whole time. I could see the fear in his eyes.
When I was about arm's length from him, I let

(08:57):
loose one last laugh and then shot a thin, thick
cloud of black exhaust from my smokestack, and that little
blip of back pressure was enough to cause my jugs
to become encased in metal and shoot off my chest,
striking the child in the face. To this day, none
of them can watch Maximum Overdrive without having to explain
to their hideous girlfriends why they have terror stiffies. Story eight.

(09:21):
I started dating this redhead. When I turned eighteen. She
and I got along pretty well. She was five foot four,
had a petite frame and a really nice firm cheeks.
About three months into dating, I finally met her mom.
She was a single parent, so there was no husband
to worry about. She was about five foot five, had
nice d cups, a thick, firm cheeks, six pack abs,

(09:44):
and was in phenomenal shape. She was a fitness instructor
who taught three cycling classes and three kickboxing classes a day.
I always thought she was sexy, but never really tried anything.
At the time, they were living at her grandma's house.
Two months later, her mom met a guy and they
all moved into a two story home they were renting

(10:04):
from a friend. Six months after meeting my girlfriend's mom,
my girlfriend and I started having relationship issues. I was
a good looking teen, worked out regularly, and was at
my ex's house pretty often. She'd fall asleep in her bed,
and instead of leaving right away, I started going downstairs
and hanging out with her mom on the couch for
about half an hour before driving home. That half hour

(10:27):
turned into an hour, sometimes even two. We'd shoot the hell,
talk about life, and just vibe. Her boyfriend turned out
to be a douchebag and was always passed out drunk
by the time I made it downstairs. A month or
so went by, and one day I went downstairs. She
started talking to me about how she wanted to break
up with the guy, but thought if she did, he

(10:47):
wouldn't leave. By this time, I had a goal. I
was going to bang my girlfriend's mom. So, being the
smooth talker I am, I said, you know, if you
get him to break up with you, he'd probably just
pack up and leave without much hassle. She agreed and
asked how she could make that happen. I already knew
what I was going to say, but I needed it
to seem like I had trouble coming to the conclusion,

(11:10):
so I threw out a few random ideas. I knew
she'd shut down. Then I said, I got it. Talk
to one of your girlfriends and explain the situation. Ask
if you could send them some bare photos and just
respond to his messages as if you were a man.
If they agree, change their name in your phone to
a man STEP's name, and boom he settle. Think you

(11:31):
set her cheating, get pissed and leave She said she
thought that might actually work, but that she didn't set
have any friends who weren't set work associates. She didn't
set want anyone at work finding out. I already knew
that from a conversation we set had a few weeks earlier,
so I said, well, you could send them to me.
She jolted her head up, looked at me sternly, and chuckled.

(11:54):
I said, wait, wait, hear me out. I promise I
once set save them, I once set tell your daughter,
and I once set show my friends. I set legitimately
just trying to help, and I think this is your
best bet. She was silent for a minute, then said
I still have to think about it. A few days later,
I got a text from her. I opened it and

(12:14):
it said, Okay, I'm in, but you need to hold
to your promises. I responded, assuring her I would, and
reminded her that I hadn't shared any of what she'd
been telling me over the past month or two. About
twenty minutes later, I got a photo. I knew this
was my opportunity. Right after she sent it, I texted back,

(12:35):
holy crap, you have an amazing body. I know I
have to delete this, but I felt the need to
tell you that I sep and beyond impressed. She responded,
asking if I really thought that, and thanking me. For
the first few weeks, I got one photo every Saturday
and Sunday. She'd sometimes text me during the week and

(12:56):
we'd have long conversations. She told me the photo thing
it wasn't working, that the dude didn't care. I didn't
want to seem desperate, so I agreed and the photos stopped.
We kept texting each other, and then we started texting daily.
The boyfriend moved out, my girlfriend and I broke up,
but we still had benefits. One day, I texted her,

(13:17):
I know this is over the line, but I really
miss getting your photos. The other night, I went into
the bathroom and had to blank by memory. She didn't respond,
and I got nervous. About ten minutes later, I got photos.
She started sending them a few times a week, and
they got dirtier and dirtier. By this time, she and
I were texting constantly. My ex took a week long

(13:37):
vacation to visit her extended family in Mississippi. I declined
her invitation to go. The night she left, her mom
texted me and asked me to come over. When I
got there, it was on. Needless to say, it happened
many many times after that. I would sleep with my ex,
let her fall asleep, then sneak into her mom's room

(13:58):
and do it again. This went on for months. My
ex never found out or got suspicious. Eventually the mom
met some guy and we stopped, but then she missed
me and started cheating on that guy with me. Finally
we agreed it needed to end and we stopped. This
experience helped me mature quickly. It boosted my confidence and

(14:18):
made me a legend among my friends who knew about it.
But now that I'm older, with a wife and kids,
I think about how seriously messed up what she did
to her daughter was. I also feel gross about how
I used my ex. Anyway, I thought this somewhat fit
in since it's about mom's and how I pulled. One
story nine, the scene a wedding. I'd taken it upon

(14:41):
myself to rescue my friend from another friend's girl friend
keep Up, who had her arms locked around his neck
and was bellowing Duran Durand's lyrics right into his face.
I pried her off and spotting her boyfriend through a window,
chatting with his parents. I towed her over to leave
her in his charge. My friend took this opportunity to
buger off, leaving me stuck with his incredibly hammered girlfriend

(15:03):
and his parents, who I'd known for close to twenty
years at this point. Some backstory. The mother in this
set of parents was widely acknowledged as easily the best
looking out of all of our friend's parents, and we
had joked about banging her for years to her son
earlier that evening. This had been explained to the pissed
up girl whom I was now wielding in front of
her and her husband. Before I could jam my fist

(15:25):
in her mouth, said girl was spilling the beans. Naturally,
I was mortified. The mother blushed a fetching pink, and
the father, who was sober, looked on with a stony expression.
I decided that I would brazen it out and make
a bit more small talk before taking my leave. Unfortunately,
as I also had a bit of a buzz going,

(15:45):
I automatically leaned in for a goodbye kiss on the cheek.
I'm not mental, cursing myself, I turned to the firm
handshake and sober stare of my friend's dad, who had
just been told that all of his son's friends wanted
to bang his wife. My wife and I were sitting
down having coffee at work when our eighteen year old
son arrived. I heard some doof doof rap music, so

(16:08):
I peeked up stairs while she stayed downstairs. The car
was too tinted to see which friend it was, but
I overheard these exact words, is your dad home from work? Reckon?
We can smoke out the back. So I ran into
the back garage, found my old hunting rifle and pretended
to start cleaning it. I waited and waited, but it
turned out they smoked at the other end of the yard.

(16:30):
I Sit found smoking stuff in the garage before, so
I thought it was their go to spot. I started
sneaking out of the garage and saw my son head inside.
Jason and Andrew, his two friends, were sitting on my
camping chairs. They were obviously high, and said, do you
think trev SIT's mom would be down to thech go
on the spit st if we got her baked? Andrew replied,

(16:51):
shut up, bish, he raged. Last time he saw the photo,
I sef got the urge to off them was there,
but at the same time, the pride of having a
wife these kids wanted, and the enjoyment I got from
walking out of the garage with a hunting rifle and
a rollie. I rolled it to look like a joint
was way too high. I strutted my stuff and said,

(17:12):
smoke that here again, and you once sit have a
dong to pull tonight. It's that's been two weeks and
I haven't seen them. Screw you, Jason and Andrew story.
In high school, all of my boyfriends were completely obsessed
with my mom, and a lot of them would bring
her crap like flowers and all. So they'd show up

(17:33):
with two bouquets, one for me, one for her. At
first I thought it was just over the top politeness,
but then it got creepier. One time, I was using
my boyfriend's set's laptop and found saved photos of my
mom clearly pulled from Facebook. When we broke up, I
told her about it and she just laughed. But at
the time I was sitting there thinking, is that my

(17:55):
mom in your spank bank? Seriously, dude. Now I try
to warn guys date that I have a hot mom
she's still hot and I'm twenty eight now. Lucky for me,
I came out looking just like her, so odds are
in my favor. I'll be looking just as good when
I'm fifty plus. Story eleven. I'm not a momshell or
even a female, but I have a good story for

(18:16):
this one. When I was young, we had a family
living in our basement. At the time in Vancouver, Canada,
it's common for every house to have a basement suite
that they rent out, and the Sun was my age
and we became friends. His mom was average looking, but
at that time, the average looking was beautiful in my
horny little eyes. The family had a weird dynamic. The
husband spent more than half a year back home in

(18:38):
Iran every year and left the mom and son here
by themselves. So one day the conversation comes up between
the Sun and me about how lonely his mom is
all the time and how bad he feels for her.
This translated in my mind as him telling me that
I should be with his mom. Most of you probably
remember that time period in your life and how desperate

(18:58):
you were for the boobulees, so please don't judge me too. Harshly. Anyways,
I was pretty shy, so of course any direct conversation
with the mom was out of the question, so I
decided to write her a note. In the note, I
basically said that I knew she was lonely and that
I was lonely too. I told her that maybe she
and I should be together, and that girls didn't like

(19:19):
me at school. Then I said that it didn't even
need to go too far, maybe she could just teach
me how to kiss and whatnot. I knew when her
son wasn't going to be home, and I slid that
note under the connecting basement sweet door knocked once, ran
and hid around a corner and waited. I honestly didn't
know what I expected, but damn it if I wasn't
excited at the possibility of being with her. A minute

(19:41):
or two later, I can still hear it as clearly
as when it happened. I hear her scream, oh my god.
I figured the plan had failed, and I aborted and
ran the hell away. A couple of days later, she
saw me in the backyard and told me to come inside.
Stupid methought that the plan had worked after all, and
I walked into her basement, sweet with my little guy
up and all. She told me how inappropriate the letter was,

(20:04):
and she wasn't sure if she should get my parents involved.
If blah blah blah, you can probably guess the conversation.
She never told anyone about it, which I thought was
very nice of her, and she and I had no
other bad run ins except this one other time. That
was my first mom shell experience Story twelve. My mom
was a momshell. Being the daughter of a momshell isn't easy.

(20:27):
When this particular event happened, she had just been dumped
by a wealthy man she really liked, and he had
doubled as a retirement plan, so she was really devastated.
She let me have a party at nineteen years old
at her big nice house. Her judgment was off. Word
got out and like fifty people showed up it was
supposed to be ten people. Tops guys kept coming up

(20:50):
to me joking that they were going to bang my
mom tonight. I never thought it would happen, but I
was wrong. She got drunk, stupid drunk, and took a
twenty one year old guy to her bedroom and gave
him a blowy. He wasn't just any other guy. He
was my childhood best friend's brother, whom she had known
since he was in elementary school. She wasn't done yet.
She then took the guy she knew I thought was

(21:12):
gorgeous to her room. The next morning, when I went
to the bathroom, I spotted him lying bare in her bed.
Story thirteen. I'm sure no one will believe this story,
but here goes. I was eighteen and on a camping
trip with my parents and some of their friends. My parents,
in their late forties, knew a couple who were younger,
in their very early thirties. The wife was hot. I

(21:34):
know I was a hormonal eighteen year old, but she
was my type. Tall, athletic, long toned, sun tanned legs,
nice sized jugs, brunette, and she had an amazing personality.
She was so much fun to be around. Her husband
was funny but a douche to her. She and I
seemed to hit it off. At the time. I kept
telling myself it was just my horny brain messing with me,

(21:57):
but she seemed to be flirting with me. The day
before we left the campground, she gave me a long
hug good night and a kiss on the cheek. She
said I was cute and that I looked older than
I was. I went to bed and thought about her
all night. Yes, of course, I soloed one out to her.
I woke up and everyone was packing to leave. She
said you should ride with us, meaning her and her husband.

(22:20):
I jumped at the chance, but looking back, I'm sure
it looked odd to everyone else. Her husband seemed okay
with it, though. They had to pick up with a
bench seat, and we sat three across for the whole
three hour ride back. The three of us laughed and
joked the entire way. He told lots of dirty jokes
and laughed, but it was a little uncomfortable. I remember

(22:42):
him moving over so that she was literally sitting up
against me. Our hips were touching her, long legs were
touching mine, skin on skin. Gave me the biggest stiffy,
I'm sure she saw. We got to their place and
she complained that they had no groceries and no beer,
so the husband left to go shopping. He said he'd
take me home when he got back. As he left,

(23:04):
he looked over his shoulder at me and said, no
shagging my wife. While I sip and gone ha ha
as soon as the door shut, she stood up and
walked toward me with a look in her eye I'll
never forget. She got down and started to blow my
meat flute. It was my first blowy, and holy crap,
it was great. I eventually turned her over and pounded
her hard right in the living room. We finished about

(23:26):
five minutes before he returned. I was able to last
longer than I thought because I was so nervous he
would come back and catch us. He drove me home
and never seemed to catch on. I banged her almost
daily that entire summer until I moved away to college.
Last I heard they had split because, as he told
my mom, she turned into a lesbian. I miss her story. Fourteen.

(23:48):
I have one with maybe an exception or two to
the question. It's about a friend's crazy mother. She was nasty.
I was twenty six and she was probably late forties
early fifties. Not a great I was a youngster in
high school kind of story, but it was a friend's mom.
One night, I had been drinking and called to see

(24:09):
if my buddy was home. She said no, acting weird
as always, but had a little I'm ready for sexy
time in her voice. I was drunk, seriously, that was
the only way I had the balls to do this
with her being nasty as heck. So I asked her
what she was up to. This was back in ninety four,
so I can't quote exactly, but it was along the

(24:30):
lines of come over and find out, all right. So
I went to the door. The living room was dark.
I knocked, and she called me in there. She was
lying on the couch in a nightgown. When I say crazy,
I mean it's a family trait. Her grandmother was standing
by the stairs, and all she said was I knew
y'all would end up together. Then headed upstairs. How did

(24:53):
she know? She didn't just completely backcrap, crazy Southern drawl
thick as molasses. She and her now deceased husband had
moved the whole gang, three grandsons and a daughter up
to the Philadelphia suburbs sometime in the late nineteen eighties, Mississippi,
I think makes sense. I became friends with the sun.
By then, he'd already grown into the hillbilly kind of

(25:15):
man he was destined to be, so there were some
noticeable differences between us. I imagine I came off as
weird to him too. Though to be fair, I didn't
have a spare tire sitting in the middle of my
living room. Anyway, back to my possible momshell situation. I
head over to the couch and we get straight to it.
No time wasted. We're making out, I'm feeling up her

(25:37):
nasty jugs and kiddies. We do the flip, and what
happened next I still can't wrap my head around it.
She gave me the most amazing blowy I had ever
had up to that point, maybe even to this day.
It wasn't just a blowy. She was doing other amazing
things I didn't even know existed. I imagine if there was
the move in Seinfeld, that woman was doing it. What

(25:59):
ever she was doing was incredible, and I ended up hard,
which I imagined she swallowed. I don't know. There was
no mess. It was mind blowing. She was a master.
Then it hit me guilt. What in the name of
all holy heck did I do? Now I'm up and
ready to leave, disgusted as hell, But guess what, She's

(26:20):
still in a making out mood. Now I felt like
I was in hell, disgusted in an eating dog crap
kind of way. When she finally released me from her
death grip. She hinted about how we could do this again.
LASD would have had to be involved if that were
the case, Actually powder would have done the job, but
it never happened again. The next day, at work, I

(26:41):
felt like a man who had been s ad by
a group of guys. I was disgusted to my very core,
and the day was unbearable. I went home to my
apartment after work, and not five minutes later, I heard
a bang, bang, bang on my door. I looked out
the window her son, Holy heck, it was an aggressive bang.

(27:02):
He looked hyper, and I was crapping my pants, not
necessarily because he could beat the crap out of me,
but he had that my mom blew your dong on
the down low retard strength vibe. That was my thinking.
He came in, started chatting, and we ordered a pizza.
Thank god he didn't know, so I casually asked him
what he did last night. He said, went to bed early,

(27:24):
was tired and had to get up for work. I
asked him, with a gulp, what time and he said eight.
What the hell? I was there around ten? His mom
must have lied. Just to be clear, his room is
in his mom's basement. Now I know he knows, which
adds an extra special nuttiness to the family. We weren't
close close, but enough that I knew about the weirdness

(27:46):
without realizing the scope. Still, he's cool. I'll hang out
with people of different whatever. I'm not better than anyone,
just saying. Because I had other friends who questioned why
I hung out with him, I told them I guess
I had tracked weirdos, shot at them for being that way.
By the way, mom, friend or grandma never mention it again.

(28:07):
I'm forty nine now see him in passing here and there,
but that's about it. To add to how he's probably
not the only one with a weird family. I later
told my younger brother, who is three years younger than me,
and he laughed so hard. He told me about all
the times we sat and drank at his house and
how he thought about waiting around hoping he could hit it.

(28:29):
Story fifteen. I'm a forty year old female, and since
I don't have children and I'm rarely around teenagers or
young men, I don't really have any stories to fit
your question. But I will say that I get asked
a lot if I would bang with someone younger or
if I like younger men. For all my fans, I
never get to answer, the answer is yes. When I

(28:50):
was in my early twenties, I was banging with people
in their early to late thirties, and even a fifty
plus guy once. Now that I'm forty, I'm more interested
in guys around my age and younger. With this cultural
obsession with mom shells, I get a lot of younger
guys telling me that I either fit their definition or
that I'm the first older woman they felt milfy about.

(29:10):
It's usually guys age twenty one or twenty two, and
there are even some as young as eighteen. When my
marriage ended three and a half years ago and I
started living on my own, I noticed an inordinate number
of twenty one year olds showing interest in me. I
had a post marriage breakup fling with at least one
of them. I also ended up with a twenty year

(29:31):
old woman who had never had by banging before, so
I was her first. That post divorce wild phase is
no joke, though I find I can't really date anyone
that young. The age gap is just too wide, and
there's always some immaturity, whether it's being too clingy, thoughtlessly selfish,
or overly dramatic. Basically, I'm too old for that now,

(29:53):
so I don't bother hooking up with younger people, or
really much of anybody anymore. I've calmed down after twenty
years of no no stop relationships, marriage and hookups. I
find more joy in the peace of solitude than the
short term hotness. Honestly, a lot of younger guys don't
bang very well. My ex husband and I used to
be swingers, so that's where a lot of my experience

(30:15):
comes from, not just from my post divorce wild phase. Anyway,
I absolutely love knowing that I sept in the first
mom shell some young guy has ever liked, or that
I sept the exception to their usual type. I enjoy
when they tell me my body rivals or even beats
the bodies of girls their age or their girlfriends. I mean,
who wouldn't take that as a compliment. Then again, I'm

(30:38):
a bit atypical for most women my age. Honestly, if
we lived in a world without the risks of CDs
or pregnancy, and without the social stigma around sexually adventurous women,
I'd be having so much more banging with everyone story sixteen.
Not a momshell, but I did bang one a few times.
Since I was about fifteen, I had a crush on

(31:00):
my best friend's mom. I would constantly tell him how
hot she was and tell her I thought she was pretty.
After seven years of harmless flirting, we ended up on
a bowling team together since she had just gotten divorced.
We were hanging out after the first game back at
her house and my friend had to take his daughter
back to her mom's house. She just straight out asked
me if I was serious all those years about how

(31:22):
hot she was. We ended up making out in the
driveway and she gave me a blowy inside. The next
few months was filled with banging and blowies from this woman.
We even snuck to the bathroom a few times during
bowling games. She eventually found a dude she liked romantically.
One day we were banging and the next day her
boyfriend was watching us bull I thoroughly enjoyed our time together,

(31:45):
and even when I was single, we would send each
other pictures and flirty texts. Definitely one of the best
lays I've ever had to this day. Story seventeen. I
am speaking for my wife. She is very attractive and
around forty. My son is eighteen and his friends are
all eighteen or nineteen. My wife loves her yoga pants

(32:06):
and wears them all the time, mostly because I love it.
She has a bubble cheeks, but not a gross, what
the hell bubble cheeks. It sits the kind where literally
everyone including women, goes dam so. Because I'm aware of
the power of the cheeks, I make it a mission
to be in the room whenever they are hanging out
in a room my wife happens to be in, usually

(32:28):
the kitchen due to timing they all want to stay
for dinner. I cannot count the number of times I
have caught and scolded a teenager for drooling over her
rear end. I finally mentioned it to her because I
was getting tired of the sudden carousel of young boys
parading into the kitchen whenever she was cooking. She now
wears a full rap apron whenever my son's friends are

(32:48):
coming over, and since I mentioned it to my son,
he has also made it his mission to stifle it.
On one hand, I'm sure it is flattering for her.
She denies it, but it's not needed, as I remind
her every single day, how lucky I am, and how
fantastic she is all around. But on the other hand,
she's mine. That ass is mine. Story eighteen. My mom

(33:10):
hid her peek late in life and wanted to bang
all my friends. Well, here it goes. This one is
about my mom and my friends, so I think it counts.
My mom used to be pretty big, two hundred eighty
to three hundred pounds. She worked hard, lost weight, and
got a boob job, so for once in her life,
she was proud about how she looks, and that's good

(33:32):
for her. She's forty five. Anyway, her and my one
friend Tony used to always joke around when I was younger,
around eighteen about hooking up, and it's always been awkward. Well,
fast forward about seven years and my friends and I
were out in the town and we wandered into a
bar that my parents happened to be at, so we
sat down and chatted since it's been a while since
I've seen my pop. Well, the night goes on and

(33:54):
everyone is pretty drunk. My mom is hammered. My pop
wanders off with some folks he met at the bar
and is chatting at them about ten feet away. The
whole time My mom is shouting about and telling my
three friends that she would bang all three of them
right there at the bar, and is persistent about leaving
to go to the bathroom with my friend Tony. Then
she proceeds to tell everyone within range that she went

(34:14):
to Catholic school, so she's a bad girl and just
wants to bang. It was the most embarrassing thing ever.
But wait, I catch a ride home with my friend
Tony and his cell phone rings in his truck. It's
my mom. She says to him in the most provocative
voice that they should hook up. Tony then tells her
that she is on speaker and her son me can

(34:34):
hear everything. This matters not. My dad called the next
day and apologized for her, but it took me about
three months to begin speaking to her again. It's still
a little awkward to look her in the eye. Story nineteen.
My mom was a mom shell. I guess she was
also a super tease. She would and still does dance
around in her inners, slapping her double d's. This was

(34:57):
also when my brother's friends were over, even though she
pretended they weren't. She would leave the bathroom door open
a little when she was in the bathtub, and she'd
make ridiculous comments like asking my brother's friend to trim
her bush. My brother's friends would come over and sing
Stacy's Mom, but it would be my brother's name. Mom
has got it going on. There was one guy living

(35:18):
next door and another guy living on the other side
of us who were in the same grade. They used
to steal my mom's inners, and she knew it and
didn't care. After one of those guys graduated high school
and my parents got divorced, he told her he would
take care of her, which he did by plowing the
driveway and mowing the lawn. If he ever did get laid,
I will never know. Story twenty. My mom is four

(35:42):
feet eleven inches tall and looks fairly young and petite
for a woman her age. She kind of has that
Asian wife syndrome going on, except if you were Navajo.
It makes things awkward because my dad looks like he
could be her dad when they're out in public. It's
not as much of a problem now as it was
several years ago. I remember my older brother telling us

(36:04):
a story about how his ex girlfriend got mad at
him because she saw him hugging some bish after school
boy did she feel stupid once he told her it
was his mom picking him up. Coming to high school
basketball games, boys would hit on her and be surprised
to find out she had five kids and her husband
was the basketball coach. The weird and gross encounter I

(36:24):
had with this was when I had a minor crush
on this girl because of her huge jugs, thin waist,
and chocolate skin appeal. She commented to me after meeting
my family, your mom is really attractive, like I bang
with her if I were a lesbian. Okay, why would
you tell me that? Gross? I can't really remember any
specific desperate instances, just cringe inducing moments. One of my

(36:48):
younger brother's friends at the time did the V finger
sign and lick the middle finger when her back was turned,
but she caught it out of the corner of her eye. Boy,
did she have no problem tearing him a new a hole.
She was the type of mom to call other people's
moms to tell them about their children's bad behavior. Fun
Times story twenty one. I once got invited over to

(37:09):
fix a forty year old momshell who was my mom's friend.
She picked up my mom and me and took us
to her place. I found out the problem was that
she didn't know how to upload music onto her iPod
and asked me to help. While I was trying to
fix it, she drove my mom back home and I
stayed behind to finish. While I was actually trying to
fix it, I found out she didn't even have internet

(37:30):
to download iTunes. So I got curious and started looking
through her picture folder and found photos of herself, including
one of her working a big black toy dong. Yeah
that was hot. So she comes back and I explain
why it didn't work. We ended up just having a
small chat. The PC was in her bedroom and she
had this king sized bed that was literally so high

(37:53):
you'd have to jump to get on it. We both
got on the bed and just lay there. I don't
know why nothing happened or if I was just too scared,
but I ended up asking when I could go home. Oh, well,
she was kind of hot, I guess. Story twenty two.
I gotta share this. I was eighteen at the time,
hanging out at a close friend's house for the night,

(38:13):
having drinks in the man cave. His mom was a
total mom shell with fake boobies and all seriously This
woman was in her forties and blew away half the
girls at my school. We were all doing our thing.
His mom, single was upstairs with his little sister, letting
us have the guy time downstairs. She seemed cool with it.
I think we all got drunk and crashed out. The

(38:36):
next morning, I woke up to her coming down the
stairs in a bathrobe. I was the only one awake,
sliding the handle of Jack Daniels under the fut on
so she wouldn't set see it. She looked at me
with a slight smile and said, have a good night.
I was one hundred and ten percent sure she wanted
some of the sauce, so I said, Rebecca fake name.
It was wonderful. Thanks for having me. She smiled again

(38:59):
and said any time I went, you should sev joined us.
You that have had fun, she replied, I sem sure
I would have, but my son would se have been
embarrassed if his mom was cooler than him. I said, oh,
is that so? And she smiled. I followed up with
there sets a sweet car show this weekend, if you
want to come. She drove a really nice muscle car.

(39:22):
She said, sure. We exchanged numbers and she went upstairs.
Over the following weeks, I texted her a lot. She
bailed on the car show date, said she had to
take her daughter to an audition. We talked quite a
bit and she was definitely flirtatious toward me, so I
tried making a move, inviting her over to my parents'
house when no one was home. She just laughed. My

(39:44):
groove was ruined, but I shrugged it off and kept
playing the game. Then a few days later she started
texting me with less flirtation and more attitude toward my
flirty comments. Her replies slowed down too, sometimes taking hours.
Around that time, I went to school and noticed her son,
who normally sat with me at lunch, was sitting somewhere else. Confused,

(40:06):
I just waited it out until a mutual friend asked,
you tried getting with his mom. I laughed and asked
why he'd say something so crazy. He told me her
son had gone through her phone, saw the texts, and
confronted her. She played the victim and tried to stay
nice to me since he and I were friends. Since
that day, I haven't talked to either my friend or

(40:27):
his mom. Sad, but totally worth the shot. I almost
had with her worth it one hundred percent story twenty
three not a momshell, But I have a great story
of a good friend, and one that has been confirmed.
My mate, who was eighteen at the time, loved his fishing,
so he was out on the canal doing just that.
He was casually doing his thing when he heard a

(40:48):
voice from across the canal asking if he wanted to
come over for a cigarette. Him being eighteen and in
those years where having a sig was a rare occasion
for him and a bit of a thrill, he said
yeah and walked around the case now and had a
smoke with this hot blonde Mombshell in her thirties. I
have seen pictures of her, so I can confirm this.
Things progressed and things started, and she said to him

(41:09):
something along the lines of it was ok. Her husband
and child were asleep upstairs, and they ended up banging
sounds right out of a corner. But it happened after
the banging. He actually felt really crappy about it because
of the kid and husband. He is one of those
guys who is really nice and feels the weight of
anything he does that is morally wrong. A month later,

(41:30):
a group of us were having beers at his house
and we actually broke out into the Momshell chant from
American Pie the Reunion. It was one of the funniest
moments of my life. Anyway, fast forward another month and
some of his other friends were over and somehow the
news got broken to his mother, who was strict as
hell and religious, and she was pissed. She ended up
going over there with his older brother and his other

(41:52):
mate who were jim junkies, and told the husband and
had a talk with her, threatening to charge her with
statutory essay and stuff. As I said before, she was
pissed off. Years later, I spoke with the older brother
about it at a party and he said that the
Momshell was denying it at first, and that the husband
was just crying, saying how could you do this? Apparently,

(42:13):
when they first showed up at the house and answered
the door, they had to tell them to take their child,
who was a toddler upstairs. The husband was a wreck
and he had to speak to him man to man.
My friend, who is now twenty one, still feels bad
about it and tells us to shut the hell up
when we mention it, but we often joke that he
is the best fisherman there ever was, since he is

(42:34):
one of the only people to go fishing and catch
a momshell. Story twenty four. I was eighteen years old
and walking home from school on one of the days
I didn't have football practice. A momshell who lived a
few doors down from my house was driving by and
picked me up. As we were driving, I noticed she
was just making small talk. I knew she had just

(42:56):
gotten divorced and figured I was just someone to vent
to and normal around before she got back home to
her kids. She asked if I would join her for
a few errands and help her pick up something she
bought earlier that day. I agreed, and we drove to
the next town, but there were no errands at all.
We just stopped the car at an empty industrial park.

(43:16):
She grabbed my leg and started kissing me, very hard
and passionately. I was surprised, but reciprocated until I was
rock solid, and before I knew it, she was giving
me a blowy. The best thing ever. My buddies half
believed me until they saw her drive by one day
and saw the look she gave me. It was pretty awesome.
For a while, I even got some pictures from her,

(43:38):
but in a role reversal kind of weird since I
was eighteen, even if I did have a beard bonus,
she literally complimented my dong like ten times, saying it
was perfect and bigger than her exes, so thumbs up.
She since begged me on a few occasions to meet
up again. I'm married now and haven't gotten that text
in years, but it's still a pretty quick Oho confidence booster.

(44:01):
Story twenty five. This story got told a lot at
my frat house. It happened about a year before I
joined I'm switching names because Internet j P quote. Some
mom was going to the house to drop off food
for JP. He was in class, so he asked Tim
to meet her there at eleven in the morning. JP
leaves out of class at two in the afternoon, goes

(44:24):
to the house expecting his food in the fridge, No
big deal. He opens the door and his mom and
Tim are sitting in the living room across from each other,
staring at him. He goes to say hi to his mom,
gives her a hug. Tim gets up and leaves. His
mom tells him the foods in the fridge and starts
to leave. JP asks her why she waited for him

(44:45):
if she was just going to leave when he got home.
She says she forgot about an appointment and left. Tim
comes down and says, bro, I feel so bad. I
have a confession to make. I banged your mom. But
I got here a little early and I just saw
this hot woman standing at the door. So I started
talking to her, and she seemed down. So one thing

(45:05):
led to another, and it wasn't until after that I
asked her what she was doing here. Tim told this
story a lot. He would always even ask JP how
his mom was when she'd be coming over and so on.
JP was always in complete denial, but when asked why
he thinks his mom stuck around for three hours, he
always just said, I don't know, watch TV. JP never

(45:26):
denied that she did stick around for three hours, though.
Story twenty six. When I was in high school, I
decided to spend Christmas Eve with my girlfriend and her
family at their grandmother's farmhouse. Their grandmother was a short,
frail Bohemian woman who dressed like Steve Jobs and always
smelled like dust and cabernet. Her silver hair was wispy

(45:48):
and long, and she kind of reminded me of a
thin Gandolf. Right off the bat, she was flirtatious with me,
squeezing my arms and telling my girlfriend how your last
boyfriend was such a stick upgrade. And although it was awkward,
I of course didn't feel physically intimidated until it happened
after dinner. I decided to help by doing the dishes

(46:10):
in the kitchen while others were lounging in the front room.
As I'm washing, I feel a pair of hands creep
around my stomach from behind. Thinking they were my girl friends,
I laughed and said, hey you. I was met with
the single most guttural hello I'd ever heard. I mean,
it was as though the woman had drowned her vocal
cords in zinfandel and camel reds. I looked down and

(46:32):
saw the spotted, wrinkly hands and was frozen in shock.
Having not said anything, she probably assumed she had the
o K and proceeded to move her hand down, to
which I said, please never do that again, and left
the kitchen. I went to the front room and excused
myself for the night and drove home. I never felt
physical intimidation from her, but the whole situation was so

(46:55):
off putting being that I was eighteen years old and
she was somewhere around seventy. She also gave me intense,
lengthy lectures on the proper way to take my then
girlfriend's V card. Not graphic, just weird. Thank you for watching.
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