Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What dark secret are you hiding from everyone? Story one,
last Christmas, I lean my sister and I don't have
the same father and are technically half sisters. My sister's
biological father tried to start a relationship with my mom
that resulted in a pregnancy and ultimately didn't work out.
That biological father is dead now, but I didn't probe
any further about his identity or how he passed away
(00:22):
in case it was something traumatic for my mom to remember.
So she raised my sister as a single mother at
my grandma's house in the eighties. Then she met my
father and they started dating and it worked out because
they got married in the nineties, moved into a new house,
and a short time after that, I was born. She
told me never call my sister my half sister, and
just pretend all of this doesn't matter, because she's my
(00:43):
sister and I'm keeping it that way, And if anyone
asks about the ten year age gap, I just tell
them it's a long story. Story two. I'm the spitting
image of my grandpa on my dad's side. Both my
parents are almost a foot shorter than me, but I'm
almost the same height as him. When my mother got
sick when I was a kid. My grandpa went to
visit her daily for extended periods of time in the hospital.
(01:06):
In his final months. She did the same. After he passed.
We found out he kept a whole other family on
the side in secret too. Looking back at my dad's
military deployment history, it would also be dicey if she
could have gotten pregnant by him around the appropriate time.
Based on a collection of various hunches, I'm fairly convinced
I'm the product of an affair between my mother and
supposed grandfather. More disturbingly, this would probably be one of
(01:29):
the most lighthearted revelations about my family. Story three. When
I was young, probably around age nine or ten, I
was walking home with my dog from a house around
the block when he cut the corner and walked diagonally
through the yard of this super mean old lady who
live at the end of your street. She was in
her yard at the time, tending to these really fancy
looking rose bushes she had growing in beds along the
(01:50):
border with her neighbor. My dog was a very friendly
Golden retriever who didn't even really come near her and
certainly didn't do anything threatening, but she sprayed the fun
budge out of him with some kind of insecticide or
other chemical she was using on her roses. I ran
back home with the dog and hosed him off. He
coughed a bunch, but seemed otherwise fine. I didn't tell
my parents because somehow I thought I was going to
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get into trouble for letting the dog walk in her yard.
I'm glad I didn't tell them, though, because I decided
that night to sneak downstairs, out the half bath window
and down the street to her yard, where I cut
down every goddamn rose bush I could get my hands on.
Story four. I've struggled with disordered eating for at least
a decade. It ebbs and flows. I know it's unhealthy,
but the toxic part of me loves the feeling of
(02:35):
being empty. Several years ago, it was really bad. I
was at my lowest weight ever. I had brain fog,
difficulty breathing. When I started eating again, my stomach would
get really bloated, even if I only ate a small amount.
I gained weight in the last year or so, and
my depression and anxiety got really bad for a while.
My family thinks I don't want to spend time with them. However,
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I just wanted to stay home because trying on my
clothes and the idea of being in public made me
want to terminate myself. It was easier on me intellectually
to just stay home. I can feel myself slipping back
into my old disordered eating habits. Unfortunately. Story five. A
man broke into my home about ten years ago, well
kind of. He knocked. I answered the door, and he
pushed his way in. He spoke about the four horsemen
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of the apocalypse and tried to extort me for protection
or he and his brothers of doom would come and
terminate me. He was huge, ex navy, if he was
to be believed, drunk as hell, hand covered in blood,
holding a broken bottle. I was terrified. I told him
to leave. He wouldn't. He was getting aggressive. I told
him I would splatter his brains against the wall if
he didn't. I didn't have a gun at the time. Anyway,
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he didn't leave. I went into my kitchen and grabbed
a knife and sliced at him a few times. He
staggered away, seemingly okay. I assumed he was all right,
just wounded a bit. I never saw him again. A
neighbor told me days later a man was found dead,
some wounds on his arms. I can only guess he
bled out, but I never got questioned. Somehow, there was
a lot of blood in and around my house. I
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lived in a pretty seedy area, so I guess the
cops just didn't care. The guy was apparently a repeat criminal.
I terminated a man, at least indirectly, and have never
told anybody story. Six. When I was younger, I lived
with my grandmother. Not long after I turned eighteen, her
health started to decline, that sort of decline that you
no means she won't be around for much longer. Over
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the months, I did my best to take care of her,
getting her to the hospital when she needed and other things.
We had someone coming every day to help her with
things I couldn't well. What my family doesn't know is
that the night she passed, I was in the living
room watching TV. My dog was in bed with my grandma,
and I started to hear him whimper and bark. I
knew what was happening. I knew that if I acted,
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I could potentially save her. I didn't want to watch
her suffer anymore, though, to watch her live with so
much pain and unable to do anything for herself anymore.
So I made the choice to let her pass before
making any calls. She lived ninety two years, and the
only regret I have is that she passed a month
after I. I would have graduated if I hadn't been
kicked out of school, she had been in good enough
(05:03):
health at the time to go to my graduation. I
still kicked myself for how stupid I was back then. Edit,
I didn't expect this much support. Thanks. I'm not to
torn up about letting her pass. I knew it was
for the best. She was such a great person. She
didn't deserve to live in such a poor manner any
longer than she already had. I don't regret what I did.
I regret what I had done that got me kicked
(05:25):
out of school. That I didn't try and make it
to graduation for her. I think I've lived my life
so far in a way that she'd be proud of.
Not graduating before she passed is the only regret I
really have in this life so far. And I'm thirty
five now, so I think I'm doing pretty good. Story seven.
It's not my secret, but my mom's and I'm not
hiding it from everyone, just the person who it potentially
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matters to the most. When my mom was in high
school in the sixties, she had a long term, serious
boyfriend named Jimmy. They were each other's first They were
together for years and were planning on getting married. He
went away to college, my mom stayed behind, but they
were still together. You know what happened next. He cheated
and got the new girl pregnant. He comes home to
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break the news to my mom. Abortion was not legal
at the time. He basically says that he wants to
be with my mom, but he has no choice but
to marry this other girl. My mom was devastated. Here's
the secret. My mom was also pregnant by him, but
hadn't told him yet. She decided she wasn't ever going
to tell him. Jimmy went on to marry the other
girl and never knew my mom was also pregnant. She
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told me that she later threw herself down a flight
of stairs to cause a miscarriage. My mom actually reconnected
with Jimmy during the early days of Facebook. She didn't
have an account, but asked me to look for him
using mine. He was still married to the same person
my mom was married to my dad. They wrote to
each other for a while using my account. Ugh signed
their messages saying I love you. My mom passed away
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a number of years ago. I think about this knowledge
I have that Jimmy doesn't this major life event, thing
that he doesn't even know happened, that could have changed
the trajectory of many lives. I'm certainly not going to
tell him. It's not my secret to tell. Edit. There
seems to be a part of the story that I
didn't make clear enough. My mom had a miscarriage and
never had that baby. It was an intentional miscarriage by
(07:14):
throwing herself down the stairs. Jimmy is not my father.
Story eight. My wife, her mom, and I bought a
house about two years ago. Just from talking to the neighbors,
I'd gathered that the family who lived here before had
a daughter that was mixed up with the wrong people.
We had some random person knock on our door at
night saying he needed gas. We are down a long driveway,
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no way you'd randomly walk up to our house to
ask for help. I think he was looking for the
people who used to live here, and then another time,
Sunday morning, making pancakes for the family, I get a
knock on the door and it's four sheriff's officers saying
they received a nine hundred and eleven call that hung
up and it was from the house. We don't have
a landline, and I assured them my wife and two
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year old did not make any call. They mentioned a
name of the previous occupants, and I let them know
we moved in earlier this year, and they seemed okay
with that and left. Anyways, I was doing some yard
work and struck up conversation with the neighbor. He saw
the police cars and asked what was up. I told
him the situation, and he just goes, oh, yeah, that
family was messed up. The cops were probably being cautious
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considering the shooting. What shooting? I ask. He kind of
looks at me with a sad, worried face. The shooting
in your house? Wait what I say? Truly baffled. He
then proceeds to tell me that about two years before,
the father in the house confronted his daughter and boyfriend
he didn't like and shot and terminated the boyfriend in
the house. Our state doesn't have a disclosure law, so
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we never knew. I was blown away. All the strange
happenings kind of made sense now. He said the frames
of the victim had kind of terrorized them for a
while because the police were taking so long to press charges.
Slashed tears, midnight fireworks, odd cow that the neighbors hated.
I was shocked, but just said that's crazy. But hey,
do me a favor and never tell my wife or
(09:00):
about that. They are a little spooked by things like that.
So the TRDL is that we live in a murder
house and I'm the only one of my family that knows.
Story nine. I found my adoption papers a few years
ago when I was looking for a copy of my
birth certificate. I know my birth mom, I just never
had a relationship with her. My maternal grandmother took me
in in two thousand and two. I never knew she
(09:22):
adopted me. I just knew that one day I ended
up living with her after telling her one day I
don't want to go back home, Loel. I also found
the letter that my mom wrote as to why she
was giving me up. That one really hurt. EDIT didn't
expect this many upvotes, honestly, Lowell Thank you everyone for
your kind words. My grandma is really the sweetest person ever.
I'm forever grateful for her. But I just wanted to say,
(09:44):
now that I'm older, I understand why my mom did
what she did, and believe it or not, we actually
have a cordial relationship now. Lol. Edit too, this brought
back some unsettling feelings I thought I was over lol,
But I want to thank you guys for your own
stories and kind words. They made me realize that I'm
not the only one who had a rough life growing up,
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and I shouldn't let that stop me from healing and
being the best that I can be. This has been
one of the worst years of my life. I've been
taking loss after loss, and I honestly felt like unaliving myself.
I kept coming back to read the comments, and I
see how strong everyone is and didn't let what they
went through stop them from doing better. So I just
wanted to say that I've made an appointment to start
therapy again and I'm going to be completely honest about
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how I truly feel and open up more. Thank you
so much. Reddit. Also, i haven't been the best granddaughter lately,
so I'm spending more quality time with my grandma and
helping her out with whatever she needs. Story ten, My
grandma was in a car accident and broke her ankle,
so she stayed at my house and my mom we
took care of her while she recovered. I was entering
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puberty at the time and discovered that you could order
censored photos on cable and was like a madman ordering
censored photos. The bill that month came out to five
hundred dollars. My mom thought it was my grandma because
her novelas were on like channel fifty sixty and the
censored photos was five hundred, six hundred limb fau. I've
(11:08):
literally never told anyone to this day. Ta I am
Latina and close relationship. Censored photos for women is still
pretty taboo in my culture, so that's why I'm so
scared to tell anyone. Even if my mom and I
are pretty open with each other, I'm still embarrassed. However,
my grandma passed away in twenty nineteen and I felt
compelled to tell my secret. But my mom sees that
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story as a funny memory she has of my grandma
that she likes to look back on and laugh about.
So idk if I should? Lol? Story eleven. In high school,
I was a super good kid, straight a student who
loved homework, keeping out of trouble, and who was quiet
as hell during class. So anyway, there was this guy
who was also in ap classes with me, but he
was super loud and obnoxious, but would pull stunts in
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such a way that he would have some margin of
plausible deniability. Though we never spoke, I'm not sure he
even knew I existed. He rubbed me the wrong way.
Maybe it was from the one cold day when this
other girl in our class had her ball poking through
her shirt bc she forgot a sweater, and he kept
saying to her, damn, it's cold. Huh. Maybe it was
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from when he would pretend to be friends with kid
who was definitely spectrum and desperate to be friends with him,
to do the bullies homework for him and then bully
him the next day, bid day. So at random, sometimes
once a week or a month, or once every couple
of months, I would whistle. It's this high pitched whistle
that sounds like a tea kettle that I can do
while barely moving my mouth. Back then, no one knew
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I could do it, except for my family the super
obnoxious kid always got in trouble. I was never once suspected.
Story twelve. I was married for thirteen years to my
best friend. We had what I thought was a great,
easy marriage. One day, our five year daughter told me
he was having her perform oral close relationship on him.
I was shocked, devastated, and afraid. He was one of
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those fun guys everyone loves to be around. I immediately
called the police, and he was arrest When they started
investigating him, they found out that he had been arrested
while in college for exposing himself to very young boys.
He only got a slap on the wrist that time
because he came from a very wealthy family. One of
his uncles was governor of the state we lived in.
I was so ashamed. I told our friends that he
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had an affair and moved away, but the truth was
that he was in prison for five years. I picked
up the pieces, sent our daughter to therapy, and spent
the next fifteen years being a mother, paying for private school,
cool trips, et cetera. She was my life. Then, when
she went to college, he reached out to her over Facebook.
When I saw she was communicating with him, I was shocked, devastated,
and afraid all over again. I called and told her
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that she was an adult, but I thought she should
be careful because he's not safe. She hung up on
me and has not spoken to me since that was
four years ago. I send her forty thousand dollars a
year still to pay for her medical school. It's all
been almost unbelievable. Thank you for allowing me to share
it here. Story thirteen. The only person in my life
who knows this story is my husband. When I was eight,
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I was desperate to be liked by the older boys
on the street. I was the youngest boy other than
a baby or two on the block, so I rarely
had any boys to play with. When I was noticed
by an older boy nineteen, a senior in high school,
I was thrilled. He I'll call him Mike, saw me
riding my bike up and down the street one day
while he was outside playing basketball with a friend of his,
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who I will call Sean. Together, they stopped me and
talk to me about school, about my bike, and other
random cow Then Mike invited me inside for a cola.
Since my parents didn't keep soda in the house often,
this was a treat once inside my can of cola
in my hand, Mike and Sean started turning the conversation
to things I didn't understand. I don't remember exactly what
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they talked about, but I do remember a lot of
questions about my body, my banana, whether I got erections,
and if I had ever seen an older boy's banana.
This turned into them taking their pants off and urging
me to do the same. I didn't want to, but
Mike knew I was an insecure little kid. He turned
on the manipulation. Oh well, I thought you they were
cool faustus. I guess not. I don't talk to boys
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who aren't cool that kind of cow. I did what
they asked from that point on, afraid to be uncool
and not have older boys to talk to anymore. That day,
all they made me do was touch them. But for
months afterward, until Mike went away to college, I was
used by them. Most often it was just Mike about
half the time, though Sean was involved. He seemed less
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gung ho about assaulting me than Mike did. Without going
into details, if you can imagine something close relationship a
nineteen year old could do to an eight year old,
he did it to me. The weirdest part about it
all was though I hated it when it was happening,
I missed it when it was over. I felt special
when Mike would invite me into his house when he
left for college, and when Shawn completely ignored me. After
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Mike was gone, I felt lonely and unwanted again. I
never told my parents to this day, more than thirty
years after the fact, they don't know that it happened.
Mike and Shawn never faced any sort of repercussions for
what they did to me, though. Oh in a small
bit of justice, Mike did end up going to prison
about ten years ago for doing the same thing to
another boy. There are probably more than just that boy
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and me, but at least he finally got caught for
hurting someone. Story fourteen. When I was around five or six,
my mom and dad were fighting just about every day.
While I was napping on the couch when my mom
came in very upset and she shook me away. She
asked me if I saw the girl my dad brought home.
I've always felt terrible for this BC I hadn't seen
anyone but my dad that whole day. I'm pretty sure
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he was just playing video games like usual, but for
some reason in my sleepy kid brain, I answered yes,
I said she was with him in their room. I'm
honestly not sure why I lied like that, but they
got a divorce shortly after, and I always felt like
it was my fault until I recently found out my
little sister is actually my half sister. But that's a
whole other story. Edit for clarification. My dad had been
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cheating with my mom's sister and my mom was cheating
with one of their friends to get back at him.
She thought he was cheating with a different girl, but
found out later it was my ane. Honestly, their relationship
was on its way out. I don't feel bad about
it now since a few years ago we found out
my little sister is my half sister from the affair
my mom had. Story fifteen. This first part isn't exactly dark,
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but when I was a kid around nine or so,
my cousin, who was twelve at the time, would make
out with me. I didn't really know better at that age,
but thought I'd be in trouble if I talked about it.
For whatever reason, About six years went by before I
saw him again, and it was never brought up, never mentioned.
He was like a totally different person. I sometimes wonder
if it even happened. My memory isn't very reliable, and
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it was so long ago now I'm in my twenty
ass Fast forward a little bit more, and I found
out he passed away a couple of years ago. While
cleaning a gun, accidentally shot himself. My great aunt, who's
his grandma and who basically raised him, believes wholeheartedly that
it was an accident, but I suspect it wasn't. He
grew up around guns and knowing how they work and
how to empty them and everything. I find the odds
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that he accidentally forgot to empty the chamber pretty low.
I also know he was struggling with depression and brain
damage from a car accident a year prior, but I
won't tell my aunt any of this. I think it
would break her heart at it. About the first part,
I don't really know how I feel about it nowadays.
It's just a thing that happened. I struggled with some
weird negative emotions about it for a while, but it's
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so far gone in the past, and I live half
a country away that it's easier to just not think
about it about the second. I know accidentally shooting yourself
is more common that it seems, but I have plenty
of reason to believe it was suicide. I don't really
want to break down the paragraphs of details, but he
had a pretty massive accident a year prior, leaving him
with brain damage, and it messed up a lot of
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his goals in life. That plus the depression he dealt
with in other factors, I think it was suicide. I
hope it wasn't. Story sixteen. My uncle owned an old
Camaro that collected dust in his garage. When I was
around ten, My family and I were in town visiting
and I wrote the word fudge in the dust on
the hood of the car. I used my thumbs so
that the letters were fatter than my normal index finger.
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A few hours later, my aunt uncle asked us who
did it, and I proved it wasn't me by showing
how the person who did it had bigger fingers than me.
Taking that cow to my grave. Edit this blew up.
I'm thirty three now and the entire family definitely knows
it was me. It's an inside joke now where someone
tries to get me to admit to it and I
never will. Story seventeen. I've been accessory to both my
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parents' infidelity. At age five, my mother cheated on my
dad while he was deployed, and my brother told me
what was happening and that I shouldn't tell anyone. My
father slept with his secretary two years later for a
few years and would even bring me on dates with her,
telling my mother we were going to the movies. He
took me to her house and had her roommate watch
me while they went out or just hung out in
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her room. They're still married. I don't know if either
no the other did the thing or if they still
are doing the thing. Edit to everyone saying maybe they're
in an open or polly relationship, Sure, maybe they are,
but I doubt it considering their views on most everything. Also,
if they were in one, then they should have explained
it to us instead of sneaking around and telling us
not to tell the other parent and maybe don't bring
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your kid on your house dates. So yeah, maybe they were,
But if they were, then I amo their behavior goes
from poor for involving their kids and their infidelity to
poor that they involved their kids in a lifestyle without
explaining it to them and making their kids think that
they were cheating on each other. Story eighteen that I
didn't graduate from college. I failed one course my senior year,
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second semester. The ceremony was already set up, so they
let everyone walk. I had no diploma in my award.
Nobody knows to this day and it's been seventeen years.
Failed one course, three credits, was ashamed, so I never
went back for those three credits, so everyone believes I graduated.
Edit Holy Cow, got a lot of responses from this.
(20:52):
Currently working, but we'll get back to everyone as soon
as I am able. Edit too, still working on getting
back to everybody. I can't believe that so many went
through the same situation as myself. I thought there may
be a handful of people. All of you are great,
and I appreciate all the advice. It has a lot,
quite literally changed my perspective on a couple of things.
Thank you all for the information resources and above all,
(21:14):
your personal experiences. Story nineteen funny, lighthearted story from my childhood.
My little brother was in the shower. I could hear
him singing. I put a coat on backwards and a
stocking cap pulled over my face and waited outside the
bathroom door. He opened the door, still singing and dancing
kind of, and I did the Frankenstein thing, arms out, moaning. Uh.
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He screamed and fell backwards, knocking the toilet completely over.
Water went everywhere, the top of the toilet tank broke,
shower curtain ripped down, and him laying on the floor.
In the middle of all this, I ran back down
the hall, coat and hat off and sauntered back casually.
By then, my mother and father and our sisters were there,
and everyone is like, you know, what the hell. I've
(21:55):
heard him tell this story as proof of the existence
of ghosts. To this day, Little Feller is now a
fifty two year old bank manager with two kids. He
believes in ghosts. I don't feel a bit bad story twenty.
Cutting off my dad was the best decision I've made.
I hope it terminates him inside every day to not
know how his only child and only grandchild are doing.
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I tried for years to have a relationship with him,
since age ten until eighteen. From ten to thirteen, he
would tell me he wished I would have passed away.
When I was sick as a kindergartener because I wouldn't
have tattled and ruined his marriage to my mom. I
tried multiple times, but was unsuccessful. I asterisk still asterisk
tried to have a relationship with him for my mom
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to help her financially, and would visit him for months.
He'd keep me locked in a closet for hours at
age fourteen. From sixteen eighteen. He thought throwing money around
would help me, but I was already working by then
and it didn't matter. I still have my daily battle
where I ask myself if he's right or not. But
I see my kid and I can't imagine thinking such
vile things about them at that age like my dad
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did about me. Story twenty one. I was drinking with
my ex in her room when I was nineteen years old,
she was twenty three. All of a sudden, I started
seeing images of my uncle, who passed away when I
was thirteen. In my grandmother's bathroom. He was motioning me
into the shower and telling me to touch his banana.
I felt like I was five years old seeing that. Luckily,
my ex was really great and realized I was having
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a full on anxiety attack. During that moment, I was
holding my knees, rocking back and forth with my eyes closed.
She asked me what was happening, and I was able
to dictate what I was seeing. I was probably in
the best place for this to have happened. I still
don't know what that was all about. I don't know
if it was real or something my brain made up
in a drunken state. It's almost been ten years since
(23:43):
story twenty two. When my grandpa was on his deathbed
he admitted to terminating fellow marines in the Vietnam War
for torturing and assaulting young girls. Most of our family
doesn't know. Edit. Wow, didn't expect this to blow up, lol,
Thank you for all the awards. My grandpa was a
pretty cool guy, very calm, mellow, so my mom and
I were shocked when he admitted this to us. He
(24:03):
was a gunsmith his whole life and was very proud
of being a marine, but the guilt he carried from
the war made him believe he was being punished. In
the end, he passed away a really painful and traumatic
death that I would never wish on anybody. I hope
it lets him rest easier in peace. That the majority
of you commend what he did. I certainly never held
any qualms about it. Story twenty three NSFW warning that
(24:26):
I am a meth and close relationship addict and I
am a boy. I used to be addicted to hookups
and close relationship only, but when pandemic began, social isolation
made me try KEEM close relationships, specifically meth. My friends
and family do not know about my attractiveness, let alone
my struggle with addiction. They see me as a sane
and sordid guy since I am the breadwinner, and I
(24:47):
can say I am pretty responsible and reliable. During my
addiction period, I was able to secure new job, promotion
and raise, so really no one did suspect because of
my KEM close relationship addiction. I had many risk in
counters and I got all sort of STIs. I was
on prep to protect me from HIV, but I did
got gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, and the worst was anal warts.
(25:09):
My anal Warts required me to undergo surgery, and I
think it was one of the lowest point of my life.
I had to go to surgery alone, I did not
tell anyone about it, and I had to endure the
pre and post surgery recovery by myself. I thought, after
all these I will change, But even after my surgery,
I relapsed several times. It actually had made my anal
canal tight, which the doctor said would be permanent. So
(25:32):
I cannot have anal close relationship now. Part of me
regret having the surgery not knowing it could happen, and
other part is thankful that at least I can't have
risky hookups anymore. Story twenty four. My to the sky
depression isn't gone. I've just accepted that I have to
wait to pass away of natural causes, because terminating myself
would scar my family and most people who know me
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for life. Edit. I appreciate all the support, and I'm
glad for those that find comfort in not being alone
and feeling this way. FAQ. No, this isn't passive to
the sky ideation, as I've attempted twice before and still
have active thoughts sometimes. Yes, I am in therapy and
have tried medication, exercise, etc. No, I don't want to
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try microdosing psychoactive substances, as I have psychotic depression, meaning
I'm prone to hallucinations and such if pressed. Story twenty five.
My son will never know how much I can't stand
as idiot friend from next door. The kid is legitimately
stupid and so confident, which makes it worse. Edit since
I got a lot of up votes, let me elaborate.
He's not a bad kid. He's not malicious or a
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troll or anything. He just has zero common sense or
ability to do the simplest tasks. He constantly talks, and
when he does, it's either about absolutely nothing or it's
just a bunch of wrong info. And he never leaves
me alone unless I'm a bit terse and short with him.
My kid is a few years younger than him and
has more sense. I feel like I can leave my
kid alone in the house for thirty minutes if I
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absolutely had to. I felt like if I left this
kid alone for just ten minutes, he'd break something due
to pure idiocy. Story twenty six. I love my kids
so much, but I hate being a parent. Sometimes I
miss my life before kids a lot, And I hate
saying that because I really do have great kids. They're
just a lot at it. Thank you guys, so so
flipping much. I am in tears right now. I honestly
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have felt so oh no alone for so long about
this because when I try to talk about it with
my loved ones or people i'm close to, I just
get judged so bad. And I just really appreciate you
guys for understanding, relating to me, sharing your experiences and
advice and words of encouragement. It means so much. I'm
not alone in this because I really do love my
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kids so much and I would do absolutely anything for them.
It's just so flipping hard being a parent sometimes. Thank
you guys again. Story twenty seven. When I was ten,
I was the victim of serial child molester, a teacher,
a woman, and no one believe me. This is an
important detail as to why I did what I would
later do. Several years ago, I saw her while I
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was shopping. First I was afraid. Then I realized I
was not ten anymore. I was a twenty five year
old adult male. I became angry. I stalked her for weeks,
saw her working as a teacher. Still found her on
social media. Catfished my way into the Cougar dating FB
group she was in. Learned she had victimized more kids
since she had lost me as her pet. She called
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her victims her teacher pets. After I was sure of
everything and had gathered my information. I plastered her neighborhood
with her private FB group posts about how much she
loves the feeling of power as she pins the little
cubs to the desk in her office. The flyers had
her face, her address, her phone number, and a bunch
of other stuff. This isn't a dark secret, really, because
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if I get caught, so what I outed a loud
and proud cub hunter. Edit. As I can't reply to
all individually, I'm going to put this here. One. Yes,
I did report her in the FB group. The group
no longer exists and hasn't since I did this. Two.
I am now in my thirties and this revenge was
seven years ago. Three she moved not long after I
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did this, But I can't say that my actions are
the reason. Four. I have not continued to follow her,
as my mental health takes priority and the actions I
took back then for my revenge actually caused a bit
of relapse on my depression. Five. I reported her when
I was ten, and again when I found her living
in the same town when I was twenty five. The
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group chat logs the Facebook's posts and all information was
turned over to the local police via throwaway e mail.
To my knowledge, nothing was ever done on the matter.
Six I didn't terminate her or cause her physical harm
because I have a life, and while it isn't all
that great, it's a lot better than prison. Story twenty eight.
My only child, who is twenty three, has schizophrenia. He
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was diagnosed a year and a half ago. He is
at a point where he is stabilized. But because he
has stabilized, he understands the road that he has in
front of him, and of course it's devastating for him.
I am no longer married to his father, but we
co parent extremely well and we are rallying around him
the best that we can. Having said all of this,
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if my son were to follow through with his to
the sky ideation, my dark secret is I completely understand
because he would be out of his pain, and although
it would completely destroy both of us, he would be
more at peace than he is now. This kid is
my life and my light, but him being at peace
is something that I don't know that medication, or his
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parents or environment can give him, and that is the
worst possible feeling you can have as a parent. Story
twenty nine. Two Days before my dad took his life,
he called me telling me what he wanted to do.
He had been calling me and telling me how depressed
he was for months, and I was sick of hearing it,
and I hung up on him. I hung up on
my to the sky father. He then terminated himself on
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my seventeenth birthday. Everybody in the family thinks it was
coincidence that he took his life on my birthday, but
I know the real reason. I've never told a single
member of my family, as I know they would blame me,
especially my brother. Ever since he took his life, I
have this recurring nightmare of seeing my dad in a
grocery store passing at the other end of the aisle.
He's pushing an empty shopping cart and briefly looks at
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me at the other end of the aisle, but keeps going.
When I run to where he was, he's now at
the other end aisle. Rinse and repeat until up, wake up, screaming.
Some secrets will haunt you until you pass away. Story thirty.
After my parents got divorced, my stepdad basically moved right
in and started six siily abusing me. I knew it
was wrong, deep down somewhere, but figured since he was
an adult, he knew what he was doing and to
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trust him. One night, my sister caught him red handed
and flipped out and told my mom. Cops came and
he got arrested. I was only like nine, ten years old,
so a lot of it is a blur. At first,
my mom had me sleeping in bed with her at
night and was babying me, and I loved it. One day,
months later, we were walking home from school and we
saw me dad's van sitting outside of our house. We
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weren't allowed in, and we saw garbage bags sitting outside.
My dad told us that my mom had called him
earlier in the week and told him that if he
didn't come and get us, she'd get rid of us.
She wouldn't come out and talk to us, and I cried.
My dad lived in another state, so this meant we'd
have to leave our friends and our hometown. Our friends
ran after the van as we drove away. For a
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few years, she wouldn't talk to us BC she had
allowed my stepdad to come back and that's why she
stayed away. Guess she didn't want to face us after
what she'd done. She'd chosen a man who'd abused her
child over her own children. Eventually we had a relationship
with her again, but she was so sick. The funny
thing is that she's in a really high up position
for one of the largest banks in America. Professionally, people
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think she's amazing. She's a monster. I finally had the
courage to cut her out when I went into recovery
from candy addiction eleven years ago and havn't spoken to
her since. A few people know this story, but not many,
and it felt good to get it out to the world.
My life has flourished since cutting her off. People always
say how I need my mom lool. Don't be scared
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to boot family out of your life, just b c
their family. Thanks for allowing me to share this Reddit
eat it first and foremost. Thank you all so much
for all of the love and support, the awards and messages.
I figured this would get buried in the post, and
then I heard my phone going mad Lowell, thank you,
thank you, thank you. Some clarifications. The trash bags were
the clothes my mother had gotten together for us. My
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brother and I each had one bag full of clothes,
and none of our other belongings. My father was poor.
We barely had running water and lived in a little
log cabin in rural ne Epaus. He struggled with alcoholism
for years and had anger, resentments and shame for not
terminating my stepfather, also for not saving us sooner. The
women he was with left him when he gained custody
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of us, and he almost passed away from that. He
got pneumonia and we had to help him through it.
I was picked on for a few years at first
because we were clearly very poor and kids are dicks.
I eventually started fighting back, and then I started to
get into a lot of fights. It was a way
to have control, and in my traumatized adolescent mind, if
people were afraid of me, then I'd never get hurt again.
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My addiction was al of having no coping skills and
not wanting to feel the disgust I had for myself
and shame. I wound up in jail in twenty eleven,
and that started my recovery journey. I had no contact
with my dad for almost ten years, and then I
made amends with him in twenty eighteen, and he was
sober and we became closer in that time. Than we'd
ever been. I cherished that time with him. He sadly
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passed away very unexpectedly, after hitting his head in January
twenty twenty one, Story thirty one. My mother is a
monster who began six sially assaulting all of her children
from the moment we were born. That isn't the secret.
The secret is that I will spend the rest of
my life making absolutely certain that she faces consequences for this.
Right now, she thinks she won. That's necessary. She wormed
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her way out of criminal charges by throwing money at
a crooked lawyer. She's smug. That's great because very soon
I will have everything in order to leave this country,
and once there's an international border between us, I will
go after her legally with every single breath in my body.
I've been collecting evidence, and I just found a new
smoking gun. I have hard proof. Now I will make
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sure that she never has access to children ever again.
So I hope she enjoys the calm before the storm. Edit.
I've been looking at these comments in shock for the
past twenty four hours because I'm completely new to experiencing
support around this. It's been mostly the opposite. So from
the bottom of my heart. Thank you. It especially hit
me hard to see people complimenting my writing because my
(35:25):
sister and I are writing a television series about our
experience surviving our mother. Again, thank you. It's difficult to
express how much the support touches us both. We're in
the final stages of fixing up an RV to take
to Canada. Once there, we will expose everything we know.
We'll definitely post an update when that happens. Story thirty two.
My finances ain't adding up. I earn wade a little
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cash to be able to live. Ninety five percent of
my earnings go to bills, and no, I haven't bought anything.
It's just standard living bills, apartment, electric, phone, internet, CSN,
study loan. Soon I might lose my apartment and nobody
I know knows about it. Edit lol, I had misspelled
lose with loose, and nobody until now said anything fixed
now edit too. Since I got so many people answering yesterday,
(36:09):
I wanted to come with an update update. Was at
a meeting today with local government and it seems I
will be keeping my apartment as long as I solve
a few things, which I'm already have begun to do.
So it looks brighter than yesterday, but winter will be tough,
like it is for many people this year. Story thirty
three years ago, a candy dealer that I knew asked
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me to hold onto a package of money for him.
The guy was straight up bad news, selling candy and cola.
He was awaiting trial on his third offense and they
were preparing to put him away for a while. Anyway,
he figured because I wasn't in the game, that he
could trust me with the money, and he was right,
so I said, sure, no problem, and he handed me
a bag of money that had one hundred and twenty
five K stack of one hundred dollar bills. It wasn't
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what you'd think either. It was all wrapped up in
rubber bands and was only about five or six inches thick.
Every week or so he would ask me to peel
off five K and meet him somewhere and hand it over.
This went on for months. Finally, when it was down
to the last ten K, he got caught selling while
out on bond, and this time he didn't get out.
He had a girlfriend who kept calling me asking for
the rest of the money, but I just blew her off.
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I need that she would just snort or shoot the
rest of the money. They ended up giving him twenty
years in prison. One month into his sentence, he hung
himself dead. I kept that ten k and never told
a soul story thirty four not really a dark secret,
just sad. I live in small town where more or
less everybody knows everyone body or has some connections to.
I have family and friends, some best, some close, some good,
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and some acquaintances. Lately, I feel like everyone's forgotten about me,
or they just grew tired of me. They don't include
me in major or minor gatherings, outings, or events anymore.
We used to have a group chat, but ever since
me and one person in the group fought, it's just
never been the same. I mean, I reached out and
tried to mend things, but it's just never been the same.
I feel lonely and depressed, and seeing everyone happy makes
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it worse. Majority of the time I am by myself.
They sometimes post about their gatherings, and I know that
they sometimes hide it from me. I know because I
have a private account that we follow each other, but
they haven't hid their post from that account. IDK why.
It just sucks because I thought they were my friends,
so why do they have to hide it from me?
I want to disappear when I have the money or opportunity.
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I'm contemplating on cutting and leaving everything behind and start
from scratch, somewhere else where no one knows me. At
least there I'll be free. Sorry for the bad English.
I'm not good with these things. Story thirty five. No
one is going to read this comment, but I think
typing it out will help me intellectually. My husband passed
away in a pretty horrific car accident in twenty sixteen.
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He was thirty two and I was thirty. We hadn't
been married even two years yet, and it was absolutely
devastating to me. But we rushed into the marriage, and
the short time we spent together was a bit tumultuous,
to say the least. I spent most of my twenties
as a single mom, barely making over minimum wage. Last
year I finished my bachelor's degree with high honors. I
moved to a whole new state with a very cushy job.
(39:02):
I make three x more than the highest paying job
I ever had before this. I absolutely love it and
love that I can do whatever and go wherever. I
want with my kid. It's something I could only have
dreamed of six seven years ago. I wouldn't be here
if he hadn't been in that accident. I'd still be
doing menial work or being a stay at home mom.
I feel like I got to restart my life with
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a clean slate, and it's actually going really flipping good.
The kicker is I now work in the position and
industry he had hoped to be in one day. I'm
not thankful he passed away, but I don't miss him
like I think I'm supposed to. Story thirty six. First,
I'm not a danger to myself or others, and that's
not going to change. But beyond that, I'm feeling pretty
done with life. I've been a chronic pain sufferer for
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almost four years now, severe sciatica, and I'm disabled enough
there's no way I could work. But I'm not so
disabled that there's any help available for me beyond what
provincial health care covers. Since I'm from the US originally,
I fully wrecked recognize how meaningful healthcare that won't bankrupt
me is. I love my wife and daughters. I want
to be there for their milestones, their good days, bad days,
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and really every day. I still manage to do most
of the shopping and cooking, and I enjoy feeding them
delicious meals, but I have no desires left for myself
beyond not being a burden to them. That's my goal,
improve their lives. However, I can slowly, over the last
few years, I've just shed and discarded any wants or
ambitions for myself. I can't bring myself to read books.
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I can't even watch movies or TV shows that are
new to me. In many cases, I recognize a desire
to watch them, but I usually can't bring myself to
do it. I'll have to pay attention, and that's just
so hard. The willpower to really focus on something is
less easily found these days, so I most often wind
up rewatching things I've already seen, or listening to the
same bands and same songs I've listened to for years.
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I occasionally treat myself to something new, but in the evenings,
my wife and I usually watch something new together. I
save my focus for then so I can enjoy that
time with her. The rest of the day, I just exist.
It would be heartbreaking if she knew I felt this way.
If there was a solution I'd take it, but everything
that can be done has been done. My condition is degenerative,
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so it's just going to get worse. But I have
time still, and I intend to use that time to
make sure I'm a net positive to the household and
not just a drain. It's bad enough I haven't been
able to bring in a paycheck for years, but there
are still ways I can help, and I do. Story
thirty seven. I have a son. Nobody but me and
the mother knows. The mother was a really, really good
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friend who was somewhat homely and never had a BF
and was in her early forties. She always wanted a
husband and a child, but decided at this point if
she couldn't get a husband, then she would have a child.
Twelve K dollars later, she gets artificially inseminated with a
whopping twelve percent chance of it taking. Well, it doesn't take,
and she's on a teacher's salary and her dream of
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kids and marriage is drifting away, and especially with the kid,
time is of the essence. So I stepped up. We
hashed it all out, and we decided the story would
be she got artificially inseminated and doesn't know the father.
We went to a lawyer and paid a good little
amount to basically absolve me of responsibility. To this day,
I see it like I donated to a bank and
somebody used my It would have been twelve ka pop
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every time she tried, and with this method she could
try as many times as it took. Luckily, it only
took a couple tries. We'd wait till she was ovulating
and I'd donate. So ye, technically I have a son,
but everybody thinks I'm childless. Story thirty eight. Not me,
but a close friend of mine. She tried one of
those twenty three and me DNA tests to learn a
little bit more about her genetic predisposition and stuff. When
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she got her results back, she saw that she had
a distant relative that lived in NY. She figured it
might be some cousin of something she's never met. We're
both South Asian, so we have huge families. A few
weeks go by and she receives a friend request on
Facebook from a guy sharing her last name. He actually
DMS her with a story along the lines of Hi,
I know this is crazy, but I think you might
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be my half sister. My friend immediately freaks out and
is super doubtful of the entire thought of this stranger
being related. She tries to ghost him, but the guy
and his wife attempt to reach her through all social
media platforms, trying to connect. The guy's story is that
when my friend's father immigrated from back home in the
late eighty ees, he had an affair with a woman
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in NY. The dad apparently moved to a different state
before the guy was born and doesn't even know he exists.
The guy is now trying to confirm who his father is,
hence the twenty three and me test. He also drops
really specific and accurate information about my friend's father, which
led the two of us to believe he was actually
telling the truth. A few days go on, and I
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convince my friend to confront her dad in private about
the situation. I don't know the details of that conversation,
only that her dad was shell shocked and moved out
of their house for a little while. This was a
few years ago, and all seems good now with my
friend and her family, but I don't dare to ever
bring that up. Story thirty nine. I purposely tanked a
church's finances well while I was the treasurer. Both pastors
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were making obscene amounts of money for the lack of
work they were doing. They were misusing funds to the
tune of dollar five k a month. One pastor refused
to abide by the direction of the board not to
give money to certain individuals. None of the board members
wanted to be the bad guy. The pastors technically weren't
doing anything illegal. It was morally reprehensible. It happened ten
(44:24):
years ago, and everyone that isn't in the no thinks
I made a few clerical errors that nearly put the
church under I'm a fairly hated person by a lot
of people to this day, but super respected by a
handful of people that knew that I did it on
purpose to expose them. Pastors couldn't get the authorities involved
because they know I would sink both of their careers
and family dynamics. No regrets at all what I did.
I'm super successful career wise after the fact. Story forty.
(44:48):
My daughter is not biologically mine. Been with same girls
since twenty eleven. I relapsed hard in twenty eighteen and
she left me. I got clean and completely one hundred
and eighty ed my life around. We got back together
and she was pregnant. We had had four miscarriages, so
I took it as a blessing. The first time I
held my daughter, she was maybe a week old and
had the biggest smile. She only smiled for me, and
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I instantly became dad in that moment. I love her.
She keeps me clean and makes me want to stride
as hard as I can every single oh no day.
Her real dad, I guess, is a meth head and
has harmed many people. We still live in the same
state and within fifty miles of him, and he has
no idea I'm in the picture. It's getting scary, and
I can't seem to get my wife to want to
move out quickly. Daughter is almost four, so soon we'll
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be saying my name and understanding that I am dad. Oh,
and my mom and dad don't know, more so my dad,
because I have no idea how they would react since
my mom kept me from my dad for eighteen years.
It all hurts every day and I just want to
leave this place and move far away so I feel
safe with my daughter. I love y'all. I haven't told anyone,
even my friends. I work in construction in and seems
(45:53):
like raising a kid that isn't yours is one of
the biggest taboos there is. Yeah, it makes me feel
like I'm a weak, little bad person some times, but
nothing matters more to me than my daughter.