Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, Welcome back to Reddit dating best channel for
cheating stories. Make sure to like and subscribe the channel
for more spicy stories. Should I forty eight M tell
my wife four to four F that I received a
tape of her in the mail for a way, This
is an odd thing. Wife and I have been married
twenty years. I've never suspected her of cheating in our
(00:21):
sex life has been outstanding. First of the year, I
receive a package in the mail. It's a DVD addressed
to me and a type note that says your eyes only.
It's my wife having sex separately with three guys. She
was younger, much younger based on body and appearance in hairstyle.
It was around the time we were going out, either before, during,
or after we were engaged. She grew her hair longer
(00:43):
for the wedding and kept it that weight. A first,
I've no idea who sent it to me, other than
one of those three guys in the DVD, none of
which I know. I'm assuming it's one of my wife's
sex Second, I've no idea why they sent it. Are
they trying to say she was screwing around on me?
The tape isn't time stamped, so I don't have a
frame of reference. She kept her hair short for years
(01:03):
until we were engaged, so it could have been during
a block of time certainly before we dated. And also,
what are they trying to achieve if this was taken
before we dated. I know my wife had other partners.
Hell I had three times the partners she did before
we married, but that was twenty years ago. I think
we're past that. But apparently this person or person's isn't.
(01:24):
The whole thing is strange. I'm not sure what's going on.
I haven't told my wife. I'm not sure how she
would take it. She's very sexual and adventurous, but don't
think she'd liked the idea of her past catching up
to her. But I don't think I'll get to the
bottom of this unless I tell her. At it update,
I'm overwhelmed by the responses. Thank you for your interest.
(01:45):
I did speak to my wife yesterday afternoon. Some mentioned
letting her watch it in private, and I gave her
that option. She did and we talked at length. Some
of it is a bit clearer now. The two amateur
looking videos are two roommates taken on the same night.
That's why the camera doesn't move, and that's why the
room is the same. I asked why the bed looks different,
(02:07):
and she replied to sheets were a bit messy, so
they changed them before they had another go. The other
is a boyfriend she dated when her and I met,
before we actually started dating. She knows this man as
friends with one of the before mentioned roommates, and thinks
it's him who got the three videos together and sent
them to us. Why. She admits that last summer he
tried connecting with her on Facebook. When she did, he
(02:29):
tried to make it sexual again, so she stopped. She
thinks he sent the d v D to cause an
issue with us for the first time. I now have
doubts her answers are logical. It seem a bit off
to me, and honestly, I may be just upset that
she did two guys and one night. I know it
was twenty years ago, but that's still hard to take.
Call mischall if you want. Also, she didn't seem shaken
(02:51):
by the d v D or the fact I had it,
merely irritated that this person sent it. I had the idea.
She rather I didn't have it, but now that I did, Oh, well,
it still leaves many questions unanswered, such as why the
tapes are from ninety six dash ninety seven and the
DVD was made in two thousand thirteen. But I'm just
getting it now. That may be minor, but it may
(03:12):
be everything. Plus, how does this gentleman know where I live?
Facebook doesn't give you that information, being in contact with
some one does So now you see why I have doubts.
Thanks to you all for your concerned feedback. I love
my wife in Cherishire and her past is her past,
but for some reason it's slapping us in the face
right now. I will take some time between the two
(03:33):
of us to figure out what is truly going on
at it, Puntu. I want to clarify something. I've been
getting a lot of feedback, mostly negative, where every one
is irritated with me that I'm upset with my wife
for being with two men in the same night. None
of my business. It was twenty years ago. I should
man up that sort of thing. Look, I said it
was hard to take. Most men understand their partner was
(03:55):
with different people before them, but seeing their spouse with
two men on the same is hard at handle. I
didn't say I was changing my view of her, or
leaving or any other angst you want to put on me.
It's just a difficult thing for a married man to
see and realize. I'll get past it, but it's not
an easy thing. And for everyone who says it was
(04:15):
twenty years ago, like nup, I challenge you to sit back,
grab a beer and watch two young men have intercourse
with your wife on the same night and see how
you feel about it. Frustrated at best, you won't love
her less, but you'll not feel great afterwards, trust me.
So thanks for everyone calling me in, but until you're
in that position, I'll ignore you. Thank you very much.
To a final edit. This will be my final edit.
(04:38):
Thank you all for your support. But all I will
say is it's time for me to make some decisions.
I acted to my wife's Facebook account. Childish and immature,
I'll admit, but I did it none the less, and
I found things disturbing enough that I need to think
long and hard about. Glad you next, I'd give it
for the benefit of the doubt through this entire thing now,
as shadow had been cast and I'm questioning her more
(05:00):
than ever before. Heartbroken is putting it mildly. It's time
for me to work on my life and myself thanks
to everyone and their interest. Story two I twenty four
m have to decide whether or not to abandon my
mother because of my toxic sister and at so heartbreaking
TLDR at bottomless story is basically that I have a
sister with untreated borderline personality disorder who will not get treatment,
(05:24):
who is easily the most toxic person I've ever met.
I never knew much about her until I was in
ninth grade and she and her husband broke up, so
she came to live with us for around a year
before finding another boyfriend. That year was easily the worst
year of my life, with NonStop finding between my mom,
who I now support and who lives with me, and
my sister. The police were called tens to hundreds of
(05:46):
times that year because we were genuinely scared that she
would kill someone dupe to her rages. In twenty fourteen,
my mom and I moved to another state to get
away from my sister, and my mom let my sister
live in the house I grew up in Nest. Forward
seven years, my sister's boyfriend committed suicide. To be fair,
he also had a lot of mental health issues. She
(06:07):
lives alone and the house is now in such bad
condition that the homeowner's association is coming after me and
demanding me to have the house demolished. I was in
college up until last year, so I really couldn't help
with maintenance at all or I would have. I am
not legally the owner, as I never had the house
transferred to my name, but it would go to me
if it went through probate. I grew up in extreme poverty,
(06:29):
but went to a top fifty university with only about
dollar eight k in student debt and now have a
salary of around dollar ninety k plus my mom's income
about dollar ten k slash year helps as well. My
sister receives something like dollars seven hundred slash month in disability,
so she can't pay anything towards this or very little.
The ideal solution to this for me would be for
(06:50):
me to put another mobile home on theeproprity. However, the
HOA will only accept ones with shingled roofs and vinyl
slash with siding akindoor one, which costs a lot more.
Mobile home movers are also backed up, so even if
I find an existing one at a cheaper price, there's
no guarantee that I can actually have it moved. I'm
happy to spend in the dollar ten K forty K
(07:13):
range on this, as I already live very frugally and
have saved up a round dollar twenty five k already
despite just graduating last year. Plus I got promoted, so
my salary is higher now than what it was last year.
But it's looking like the project we'll end up costing
upwards of dollars seventy dash one hundred K, and I'll
end up having to get a mortgage if I don't
want my sister living with us. This leaves me with
(07:35):
a few options. One some I'll find a cheap mobile
home that can be moved, or land with a trailer
or something, spend something like dollar twenty five k forty
k and have it paid off within a year or two.
This is the ideal option for me. I could put
more towards maintenance. I know my mom is safe and happy,
but I don't know if it's possible. I really hope
(07:57):
it is, but I've been trying to find one for
the past two weeks and it's just starting to seem
unattainable at this point, not to suck it up, get
chattel mortgage and feel secure knowing my mom and sister
have separate places to live, but be out dollar one thousand,
five hundred plus per month for probably fifteen years. This
seems so unrealistic to me, but it is possible. I
(08:18):
just would be so resentful for so long. The only
thing that could save me at that point would be
getting lucky with stocks or something and paying the house off.
This is honestly probably the worst option, but I could survive.
Just find this way, I could still say about dollars
six hundred slash seven hundred per month. In fact, since
I already live very frugally, three just live with my
(08:40):
mom and sister together until my sister finds government housing.
I can find a cheap mobile home or something else,
which would possibly be years. My sister is hash won
on the wait list for a public housing complex in
her area, but has been on the wait list since
her fiance died in twenty nineteen. There's no telling when
she'll actually be able to move out. I have no
(09:01):
idea how I would handle at this time around. I
was forging the first time and was very mentally unstable myself,
but have done a lot of work on myself, so
I may be able to handle it better. But I
honestly think I would end up leaving any way now
four leave and let my mom and sister fend for themselves.
I italicize this because I feel like that's probably what
(09:21):
I need to do at this point. My mom won't
let my sister go homeless. She will invite her to
live with us, and I don't think I can deal
with that. Again. The only thing I can do is leave,
But I will feel awful for my mom. She went
through such horrible things growing up and I was finally
able to give her a secure, peaceful life. She said
that the past seven years with me have been the
(09:42):
best of her life, and a lot of her issues
like panic attacks and insomnia have gone away completely. If
I leave, I don't even know how much longer my
mom would stay alive. I was suicidal by the end
of my time living with my sister, which was only
a year, and without me, I don't know what my
mom would do. She one hundred percent relies on me
and is seventy years old, can barely walk or do
(10:05):
anything without my help and might not survive very long
without me. Have a lot of resentment for my mom
and have already sacrificed a lot to take care of
her on gay and never told her about my sexuality
and seriously limited my romantic slash sexual experiences because of
living with her. What happens if I seriously date someone
it would be too complicated with my situation. I am
(10:26):
agnostic slash atheist and pretend to be Christian around her,
and there are many other things I hide from her
and sacrifice to avoid her feeling disappointed. My mom isn't abusive.
I just don't want to show my true self around
her because it makes things easier if I left, I
could finally be myself and have a normal life if
I left. But again, I would just feel so terrible.
(10:47):
I hope to give Bergman experience at the end of
her life, but it's also true that she made bad
choices throughout her life and should probably deal with the
consequences herself. It just again is so heart breaking, and
I don't know what to do at this point. Money
is very important to me now, as like I said,
I grew up in extreme poverty and I hope to
be wealthy. One day before this situation happened, I saved
(11:11):
over dollar two thousand a month. I pay the rent,
but my apartment is cheap, so I could very quickly
and easily become wealthy, and I can feel like I
should sacrifice the possibility just to know that my mom
is safe. I am happy to pay dollar ten forty
k for this, but dollars seventy one hundred k plus
is in the life ruining range of debt that will
prevent me from ever becoming wealthy. It is such a
(11:33):
shame because if this happened five years from now, I
could have easily paid for it all. But that isn't
how it happened, so I don't know what to do.
I talked to the president of the HOA, and he
is willing to give me a little bit of extra
time to figure this all out, but I feel so lost.