Dumbest Reasons for Divorce 3 HOURS!

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lawyers of Radit.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
What is the nastiest, craziest divorce case that you've handled?
I worked for a judge. Two prominent local news people
had a divorce. They filed mutual restraining orders against each
other for violence. The filings were vague on details, but
still somehow conveyed a sense of Shiloh war Antietam levels
of blood. When it came time for the hearing, it

(00:21):
turned out the violence was spitting. More specifically, during a
heated argument, flexo spittle managed to touch the other party.
Judge denied the restraining orders, and both parties' attorneys probably
bought new yachts such as Justice Man. If they were
both on TV at this time, you think their lawyers
would have advised this is a bad idea. You were

(00:42):
on screen the next day with no visible injuries. It's
not going to go your way. Here's a story of
a potential thwarted divorce case, told to me by our
closing attorney. The man and his fiancee are buying a
house together. They get to the paper where you sign
off on all your aliases. The woman has a full
page of former names. The guy asks, what is this?

(01:05):
The woman nonchalantly says, oh, I've been married five times
before the guy gets up and walks out. Needless to say,
they did not buy the house or stay together. You'd
think that had come up before the setting down hundreds
of thousands of dollars together phase of a relationship. I'm
a child who dealt with parents getting divorced. When I

(01:25):
was seven, I was forced to go to therapists to
play games with them. My mother was trying to get
custody and insisted it. It was a board game. It
seemed innocent enough. I roll the dice and the therapist
picks up a card from his deck and asks me
a question. When he rolled, I picked a card and asked.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Him a question.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
My questions were simple for a seven year old, what's
your favorite color and what not? His questions were smart, trochy,
How do you feel when mommy does this? And what
do you think of Dady when this happens. So I
sat there for an hour, seven years old, playing this game.
At the end, we left the room and met with
my parents, and he said I would do better living

(02:07):
with my mother. I specifically remember looking at the man
and saying, but I don't want to just live with mom.
I want to live with dad too, like I'm doing now,
one week at mom's, one week at Dad's. I'll never
forget the way that the therapist basically ignored me and
said that the game discussions showed that I'm happier with
my mom. The look on my father's face was heartbreaking,

(02:29):
and he started to tear up. I remember as we
were walking out of the place, my parents stopped in
the parking lot to discuss things, and I stood there
waiting for them to finish arguing. I remember getting so
frustrated because they were talking about me in front of me.
I stopped them and said, why didn't you just ask
me what I wanted? My mother look quite stunned, and

(02:49):
my dad seemed so relieved. I wound up doing one
week at mom's and one week at Dad's until I
was seventeen and went into college Mondays. I got on
the bus at one house and off the bus at
the other. Parents, don't be dongs, Just ask your kid,
we might actually have something to say.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
I had a few.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
One guy had his wife served with the divorce papers
while she was in the hospital undergoing cancer treatment. She
had no idea he wanted a divorce. One guy wanted
a provision in his divorce that said his sons couldn't
watch Nascar because the wife's new boyfriend was into Nascar.
In the same case, the property division was so contentious
that the judge had the party's list every piece of

(03:30):
furniture in the house and try to work through who
would get what. The guy made sure that he wanted
everything she did, down to things like lace, loyal as
her grandma maidan, some trophies she won in a women's
shooting competition. I bought her the gun, sir, It's pretty
much my trophy. Another guy wanted no custody and no
visitation with his four sons until he learned how much
child support would be. Then he wanted full custody with

(03:53):
no visitation for the wife and the hope that she'd
have to pay him child support. I only did divorces
for about a year before I moved on to mortgage foreclosures.
Those are far less depressing. I was a secretary for
an attorney. I think the most entertaining one was when
a guy had to divorce his wife via newspaper because
she wouldn't leave the house or answer the door for

(04:15):
the process. Server My parents divorced was finalized September of
twenty fourteen, but the separation of assets is still opened.
The short of it is that my dad has always
been really jealous. About two years ago, my dad got
it in his head that my mom was cheating with
a Baker police officer in our hometown, Mexico. He hired

(04:36):
two guys to watch at twenty four stroke seven. They
confirmed that she was cheating and said they had a video. Well,
eight dollars K and my dad's sanity Later, there's no
video and my dad is mentally ill. He hired someone
else to kill this Baker police officer. Thankfully, they two
just took his money and did not kill him. He
started going to brothels and sexually harassing women. He said

(04:58):
he would leave my mom on the streets and has
attempted to pay off judges. My dad was always a good,
hard working man. Now he is someone I don't know.
Some say it's a midlife crisis that the guy is
sixty five years old. I feel if it was a crisis,
it should have happened years ago.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Etl Dr.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
My dad thinks he lives an in Colombian novela that's
terrible and I feel awful for you, but it's possible
your dad needs medical help. I'm no expert, but I've
heard stories of people with family members around his age
who underwent sudden personality changes and it turned out to
be early onset dementia, a tumor, or some other issue.

(05:36):
The hard part is convincing him he needs care. I
didn't handle the divorce, but I was working an a
legal clinic and had a client seeking a protective order
from her ex husband. We had an initial interview and
I got paperwork filed. Between filing and the scheduled hearing,
she called me. She started rambling, and when she calmed down,
she told me her ex had been arrested for murdering

(05:59):
his Even with bigger fish to fry, he insisted on
attending the protective order hearing while in custody, which is
his right, but a terrible idea because anything he says
on the record can be used by prosecutors. He shows
up in his prison jumpsuit and handcuffs and takes every
opportunity to talk about how my client would get drunk
and start fights with him and he had to give

(06:20):
her a slap to shut her up. He's currently serving
a life sentence after being convicted of second degree murder
and several other felonies. Divorce attorney here, the standard comment
I make is that I represent good people in their
worst moments. However, some cases seem like representing the worst
people in their worst moments. I have a bunch of anecdotes,

(06:42):
but the truly surreal case for me was a post
decree case was a husband's sought reduction of his anallocated
family support obligation after he was fired from a six
figure salary as a public school principle. He was jerking
off in his car while driving and was observed by
most other people in a school bus that was much
higher than his car. The legal issue was whether his
change in employment was in bad faith. After a three

(07:05):
hour hearing, it court felt that it was. He was
jerking off in his car while driving and was observed
by most of the people in a school bus that
was much higher than his car. The legal issue was
whether his change in employment was in bad faith. After
a three hour hearing, it court felt that it was.
I agree, most people know not to have a wank
on school property unless they are a student. Of course,

(07:29):
my grandparents' divorce I refused to help them with it
or get involved. I think my only advice was to
burn all of their possessions. It was truly awful. It
went on for at least four years. My grandfather was
a shopping addict and hoarder, and step grandmother left the
minute that they ran out of cash. They then proceeded
to fight about every object in their hoardele while both

(07:51):
being in the middle of dying. She was dying of
cancer and Alzheimer's and he of diabetes and kidney failure.
So it wasn't like they had some grand plan about
how someone was going to use any of these objects.
They owned basically nothing of actual value. My grandfather was
just awful and wouldn't let her go. Did she know
she was leaving? Not sure, and wrote her nasty letters weekly.

(08:13):
After my grandfather died, my family threw away or donated
virtually every last hammer, hat and book they fought over.
What a waste of time and energy their whole divorce
fiasco was. I'm sure they greatly annoyed their respective attorneys greatly.
Far back on Dred did I saw thread where the
gar lost his house and the divorce, but kept through
land around him via some loophole. First he had all

(08:36):
the trees logged and sold. Then he had the stumps
ground and mulched. Then he sold the topsoil, the he
sold off the gravel. Then he sold off the clay
and told the house was left toll Hill surrounded by rak.
If someone knows the thread, please link it.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
It's great.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
I just had lunch with a lawyer friend of mine
and he told me this crazy story.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
When he was an intern.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
There was this divorce case where the woman was demanding
her husband for child support. It was in a small
city in Bolivia's highlands, and both the husband and wife
were shepherds. Anyways, the husband asked the judge for a
medical examination of his genitalia. Turns out the husband was
actually a woman. She was raised by her grandparents and
they respected her preferences for the rest of the community.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
She was a boy.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
After her grandparents died, she inherited the land and after
some time, the neighbor offered her to marry his daughter.
Without knowing the guy was actually a girl, she accepted,
and once she was married, she came to an agreement
with her wife. They will be married, but they won't
have sex. After a while the wife got a lover
and had three kids. The husband took them as is
her own. For some years passed in the relationship, God

(09:43):
really deteriorated, so the husband asked for a divorce. Things
got ugly and she ended up telling the true in
order to avoid paying child support. That was a ride.
My mum and dad's case was a giant had frick
for me. The custody battle was just bad. I'm pretty
sure my mom has a mental illness. She accused my
dad of molesting me, not true, so when they split,

(10:06):
the court gave her custody. She had two other kids,
both with different fathers, living with their fathers for a reason.
She was a druggy, alcoholic prostitute. I got to visit
my dad sometimes, but he had to always have a
witness with him, and my mum would never be home
half the time for him to pick me up. To
this day, I have no idea where she would have
taken me. I suspect a dealer's place or a so

(10:29):
called boyfriend's place. So one day Dad was going to
take me to the zoo. We met at the train
station and my mom then decided to argue and say
I wasn't allowed to go, so four year old me
must have thought naphrik ubi and I spat in her face.
Dad was so proud, but he told me off because
he was actually a responsible parent. Eventually, the court realized

(10:51):
that this woman was in fact not capable of raising
any of her children and was a train reek. So
the tables turned and Dad had custody and I was
to see her every soeren Any visitations were monitored by
social worker. She kind of disappeared for a few years, though,
and I eventually forgot what she looked like. A lot
of my childhood memories have mostly been suppressed and forgotten.

(11:12):
Eventually I asked if I could see my mom again.
Court order was to see her every second weekend. Started
off alright, but history began to repeat itself and I
was exposed to a lot of violence during my teens.
Not quite a divorce case, but it was close to being.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
So.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
My dad did love my mum and was going to
ask her to marry him. Lucky he didn't before that
all happened. Oh oh, not strictly divorces, but my family
law professor had some good stories.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
Story.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
One client calls, Hi, can I kick my pregnant girlfriend
out of the house.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
You really shouldn't do that.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
But can I legally speaking, since you never married and
the home is in your name, yes, you can legally
exclude her, but you really fricking shouldn't. Thanks, I need
you to explain that to someone. Client opens door where
police are getting ready with a ram hand cellphone to
police officer. Story two. Unmarried mum comes in and asks,

(12:10):
so what do I have to do to get his house?
You really shouldn't be getting married if you're already planning
to end the relationship yet. But what do I have
to do? Well, if you're married and live in the home,
it become a matrimonial home and you have an equal
right to possession upon divorce.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
Thanks.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
Clan calls again. He wants me to sign a prone up. Well,
this would limit what you would be able to get
in a divorce and it doesn't really give you anything.
Why are you getting married if both you and he
know that you're only in it to get his house? Okay,
so I should sign it. Clan calls again. Okay, we
are married now, but he won't let me move in.

(12:49):
Family law is crazy. A guest speaker in that course
was beating up by thugs for a ruling he made
in a high profile arbitration case. A man came into
the family law firm my friend was working in and
says his wife was cheating on him. He's extremely rich
and wants to get divorced. The lawyer proceeds to ask
him about his assets and what he wants to keep.

(13:11):
He says that she can have the house, the car,
the boat, the kids, etc. The lawyer asks him what
he wants to keep then, given that he doesn't seem
to want anything, the man angrily responds that be only
loves her dog. I want her to suffer, so I
want the court in order that the dog be taken
away from her and cremated. She can have fifty percent
of the ashes and I'll have the other fifty percent. Somehow,

(13:34):
this prince among men is getting divorced, and despite the
crazy somehow, I am still interested in practicing in family law.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
Not a lawyer.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
But saw what happened to my cousin. He got married,
let the start one year. During the year ended up
kneeding surgery, gets home and wife has left and taken
all the stuff, including the dog. They both owned a
house each, but his was worth slightly more, so she
made him pay her the difference in the settlement. But
as a happy end to the story, he is now
married to a lovely woman and they have two kids together.

(14:06):
Someone in my family holds the state record for longest
divorce proceedings thirty plus years of unrelenting fighting that divided
the family into who talks to which parent, complete with
long periods of not speaking to one another and family
members not speaking to the people who won't speak to
the family members that they like.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
The reverse two.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Some people talk to the moment, some talk to the dad,
but you can't talk to them both not allowed. God
forbid you ever mention one to the other. It's a warrant.
It totally frick their kids, My mom and aunt's uncles up.
It won't end until both parties are deadened in the ground.
Getting my counseling license and taking legal ethics classes. One

(14:47):
crazy story is while a lady is in her counseling session,
her husband comes in and says to the receptionist that
he's her husband and he won't be able to pick
up the kids because he has to go into work
rights then, and could the receptionist lead the client when
she gets out of the appointment, the receptionist says yes.
When the client comes out of her appointment, the receptionist
passes a Longley message and the client says, are you serious?

(15:10):
He isn't supposed to know I'm here. We are in
the middle of a divorce, and he's crazy. Tl DR
train receptionists to say, I can neither confirm or deny
that person is a client, not an attorney. But I
do title research and including divorce cases in reports as
part of my job. I came across a case in

(15:30):
Ohio from the early nineteen hundreds in which the wife
jabbed her husband in the rectum with a heart poker,
made him sleep in the barn for several months, had
his sons beat the crap out of him, and she
still got the farm in the divorce. Her defence was
that he was a drunk, which was enough for the judge. Apparently,
before you testify to crap in any civil suit, bear

(15:50):
in mind that it's public record, and some buttole like
me is going to come along one hundred years later
and laugh at your butt, so to speak. I know
that was one hundred and fifty teen years ago, but
that abuse sounds horrific, and I hope he is safe
in heaven. I work in civil litigation, so not divorce,
but I had a case where part of the issue
was the previous dangerous behavior of plaintiff's dogs. My client

(16:14):
believed that part of plaintiff's divorce involved not allowing the
dogs around plaintiff's kids, so we filed to unseal the
divorce settlement agreement. The divorce was between two lawyers, and
it was a duty of a settlement. They had two
single space pages dedicated to splitting up family stuffed animals.
It was pretty heartbreaking to read. Who would be getting
things like boots the bear. Oh dear God, I can't

(16:37):
even begin to imagine. I've seen fear two couples try
to act together. I've seen tech couples try to program together,
but holy crap. To lawyers trying to rip their respective
lives back apart, I'd imagine they have been multinational was
with less collateral damage. My sister works at a family
law firm. Some lady was divorcing her husband and after

(17:00):
the mediation, he called back the next day saying he
was going to kill her and everyone at the firm
so I'd say he handled it well. He sounds like
a catch. I wonder why she wanted to divorce him.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Finally my moments to shine a mother US citizen who
took her child from Argentina and ran back to the US.
Child born in ar I represented the Argentine father husband
federal court Argentine GUVT got involved, made the news in Bunasiris.
We won and had child returned to father in Argentina.

(17:34):
Also represented a woman who was convinced that her husband
had implanted micro robots into her brain and was trying
to control her. She would bring us all these nanotech
articles trying to convince us that it was possible. She
dragged the case out for four years, convinced that he
has done all kinds of illegal stuff, like destroyed her
car breaks so she would crash, and putting poison into

(17:54):
her tap water.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
She was notes.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
We almost had to get a conservator for her estate.
My first divorce case was the most memorable. My client
was a nice looking fifty ish waitress who was breaking
hearts at the local smaller town cafe. She was on
divorce number five. I had a little lawyer kit of
things she should do. Clean out the joint accounts, change

(18:17):
the car title, etc. She had done all of m
plus a few things neither I nor the professional list
maker had thought of. Husband number five came into my
office to cry and concede everything. Now that was a
guy who needed a lawyer with a list, No such luck.
She fricked him over gently, professionally, I thought, didn't over

(18:38):
each too much. It got everything she was or might
have been entitled to, plus a little more. It was
easy peasy for me. Helps if your first time is
with an experienced woman, I learned a lot. Helps if
your first time is with an experienced woman, I learned
a lot. I find this is true about a lot
of things. Day fifty eight of the sixty days it

(19:00):
took for my parents divorce to be final, my dad
called my mom at work and begged her to call
it off and take him back.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
She said no.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
He went from sad and crying to pee, saying, so
this is how you want things. About an hour and
a half later, my mom got another phone call from
someone letting her know that our house was on fire.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
It was arson.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
Of course, I wish that's the worst I could say
about their divorce. Sounds like she was right to divorce him.
My sister is a divorce lawyer, and I remember she
once told me about a case she handled where the
wife kept cheating on the husband with younger dudes, and
one day the husband had enough and decided to beat
her repeatedly and sent her to the hospital.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
What a story.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
Mark not a lawyer, but I'm sure the divorce lawyers
for my parents could write a lot. Both my parents
are stubborn and often irrational. For example, my dad accused
my mom not being a negligent parent for giving me
chocolate chip cookers. My mom accused my dad not breaking
into her house to rep place my antidepressants with sugar pills.

(20:02):
I had a weird childhood. I wonder why you were
taking antidepressants. It sounds like such a wonderful childhood. I
worked on a case where the other party's statement of
property listed every individual food item in the house at
the date of separation Campbell's condensed tomato soup zero dollars
and fifty nine cents. I was a family law attorney

(20:25):
for years. It is nasty all the time, which is
why I finally switched to a different area. Nasty one
parental alienation cases just make you want to hurt someone.
Those poor kids are brainwashed. It is beyond cruel. Had
one where the little kid was so brainwashed she would
scream at the top of her lungs if she even
saw picture of the other parent. Everyone knew she was brainwashed.

(20:48):
But the options are few when the kid is so
fricked up? Are you really going to force the kid
to live with a parent?

Speaker 1 (20:54):
They hate these cases. Frick you up.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
Two had several where dad didn't give a frick about
ever seeing his kids, but grandmother wanted him to get
some custody out of principuland was bankrolling to destroy her.
Three so much child abuse Sully. One had a ten
hour mediation over who a few dirty pans that originally
came from Walmart. By the end, I almost waved the
fee to buy my client new pans to end the

(21:19):
pain everyone else had to endure. Two had a divorce
where they still lived together because neither wanted to move.
I believe they still lived together several years later. They
hated each other, so I don't understand but their choice.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
Three.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
Most clients destroy their own case make the judge hate
them by being terrible. I have had to tell them
shut up more times than I can count. The husband
in the case broke into the wife's our client home,
poisoned some of her food, and left. She went to
the hospital and ended up being perfectly okay, thankfully. I

(21:53):
inturned for a small family law firm in Virginia a
last summer and had two really odd stories. One this
attractive lady came in seeking a divorce. Before divorcing, she
and her husband moved into a house in the virgin
in the mountains with her parents as they were relocating
to from Florida to Virginia to start their relationship over
and had not found a new place to live yet.

(22:16):
She had found his personal classified ads on Craigslist. If
I remember correctly, well, crap keeps hitting the fan and
he kicks her out of her parents' house. You read
that correctly too. Another crazy story was surrounding a mid
forties couple now got remarried. All of their children from
their respective first marriages.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Were grown up.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Anyways, they decide to adopt three kids from some African county.
At first, they think the two girls and one boy
are brother sister, but end up being two sisters and
a cousin. The kids had apparently seen some awful crap
back in Africa. All their parents were dead or drug addicts, etc. Anyways,
they all have terrible manners that they won't fix, eating

(22:58):
with their hands at the bad hygiene, obnoxious, etc. However,
the really sad part was the older girl around eleven
twelve years old. She was sexually assaulted, raped in Africa,
and she had become sexually reactive. This means she was
masterbating all the time in public and even once made

(23:19):
her sister perform moral sex on her, which the mother
found them doing in the bathtub. A really sad story.
Told this one before, but it bears repeating and is
also pretty crazy, at least in my opinion. I'm a
land using real estate lawyer, but a friend's friend is,
or at least was, a divorce family lawyer. My friend
once told me a story wherein my friend's divorce lawyer

(23:41):
friend was attacked by a client's former spouse while doing
his grocery shopping at a local supermarket with his wife
and kids. The former spouse attacker has blamed the divorce
attorney for taking him to the cleaners and for the
downward spiral that followed the divorce. Last I heard the
lawyer who was assaulted in the grocery store decided to
change practice areas. I've said it before and I'll say

(24:04):
it again. Criminal lawyers often work with the worst people
on their best behavior. Family lawyers often work with the
best people on their worst behavior. Divorce lawyers of her
did what is the most insane, evil, funny, dumb where
spouse has tried to screw the other. Ian'll but work
in the court system. Once case that came in was

(24:24):
a couple divorcing on mutual terms. The husband had one
child with her and the wife had a child from
the previous marriage. He agreed to pay child support for
both children. I guess he really cared about this other
enough to support her, even though it isn't his obligation.
The judge signs the order, they go to set up
the child support account and it gets kicked back, saying

(24:45):
you can't have two accounts for one child. Turns out
she's been collecting child support from the biological father the
entire time and never told him. She basically tried to
milk two fathers for one child, and the other attorney
knew about it. Here in Canada, a kid can legally
have up to four to individuals responsible for paying his
or her child support. There was the court case a

(25:07):
few years ago where a lady tried to change that
law and have the number up to five. Not my case,
but during my first year of law school, lawyers from
different practices came to give us a peek behind the
curtain of different areas. The divorced lawyer told the story
of rather well to do couple that spend months and
months and men are tens of thousands of dollars fighting

(25:29):
over absolutely everything, all the way down to a single
ceramic ash tray. He couldn't remember the significance, but somehow
it had come through the husband's family, even after everything
else had been decided. They spent many more months and
nearly one hundred thousand dollars fighting over justice ashtray. Then,
after a court hearing, the wife finally won the ashtray.

(25:50):
She promptly strode out to the White Court House steps
and smashed the ceramic ash tray, left the pieces all
over for the husband to see on his way out.
Decided that day I would not be a divorce lawyer.
Tl DR spent one hundred dollars k to win an ashtray,
only to smash it in spite. I think you made
a good decision after reading all these answers. Once had

(26:13):
a boss who had to leave his house for six
hours while his ex wife grabbed all the belongings she
was legally entitled to. When he returned home, every knob
and handle was gone. Door knobs, cabinet handles, draw handles,
anything that was screwed onto something and used to open
it she had taken every day for the next week.
He would occasionally yell out she took the fricking knobs.

(26:36):
My friend's mom did the sween she found out her
husband was cheating. In addition, all the light bulbs and
toilet paper, even the light bulb in the fridge. She
knew he would come home from work in the evening
and have to figure out what was going on. I
am an interpreter who works frequently with police and lawyers.
The most out there thing I ever interpreted in court

(26:57):
went like this, Miss so and so, we know each
other for a long time. Correct yes. As a matter
of fact, we have known each other for five years.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
Correct yes.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
And at the end of each and every meeting we
had during the past five years, we always agreed on
one thing correct. Yes, please tell the judge what we
agree on. It's not okay to break in my ex's
apartment and lick all his cutlery. Yet here we are,
miss so and so I died. This made me giggle

(27:29):
and is a welcome respite from all the dog killing
and child molestation accusations.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
I didn't handle a divorce, I handled parts of the aftermath.
In the divorce, she went a wall, was living in
a truck somewhere and just couldn't handle it mentally. He
gave her five of his nine companies. They were the
ones that owed seven figures in payroll taxes. He had
made her the book keeper on paper. She spent decades
trying to shake the irs for the results. I'm a

(28:00):
lawyer but have had a very limited amount of experience
and divorce cases. The first case I ever worked, the
husband shaved, waxed every single hair off his body in
an attempt to avoid a court mandated drug test. We
had a guy at work do this, shaved his whole body,
raise a burn on the back of his neck, cut
up his elbows. He was a hairy dude. Then he

(28:21):
failed the urine test. I asked him why he went
to all that trouble, and he said, I don't know.
I was high. Still, when you're all about to go
through a divorce, don't clean out the accounts and hide
the money. Grab your pets and put them in a
safe place where nobody will ever find them until the
divorce is all long over. As soon to be ex

(28:42):
husband left his wife's prized coit to die on the
doorstep of their house. Apparently the value of these fish
six in total was over one hundred thousand dollars. She was,
according to her lawyer, so distraught that she couldn't be
in court only in la articled at a fair Emily
law firm thankfully moved on since worst I saw was

(29:04):
a decade's long case. Husband had been in a motorcycle accident,
suffered brain damage, has severely limited capacity going forward, got
a huge settlement. Afterwards, wife spent the next several years
stealing the entirety of the guy's money and property, variously
by forging his signature or putting documents in front of
him that he couldn't understand and telling him they were

(29:26):
something benign so he'd sign it. She then forged a
bunch of letters from a tax authority and convinced him
he was about to go to jail, and further convinced
him to flee the country. He finally came back several
years later to find out everything he owned was in
her name and one of the documents he was told
to sign the divorce papers. Dude got left with nothing.
I moved on before I found out how the story ended.

(29:49):
Hopefully it ends with her dying a slow, painful death.
Not my divorce, but my divorce lawyer told me about
a case she was involved in where both clients were
so petty that they had to all meet to argue
over literally every single scrap of everything. The final object
that neither would settle on was a ceramic rabbid statue,
a really generic one from home, depot or whatever, zero

(30:11):
sentimental value. But since it was the final item, neither
side wanted to lose the last thing, and they dragged
it out over three separate meetings for this one thing.
I don't remember which ended up getting it, but once
they settled it and signed everything, the winning parties stuck
it on their lawyer's desk as a gift and walked
out They must have felt so cool yet looked so stupid.

(30:33):
Friend was going through divorce from insane husband. He had
been texting her picks of the gunky bought and threatening her.
Police were called. Nothing they could do because it was
only a picture. He was staying with a secret girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
At this point.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
She allowed him to go get his stuff from the house.
She was scared to go back in the house alone.
I went with her. First red flag was he had
changed the locks, so we waited for locksmith to open
the house and change the locks again. Well, when the
door opens, we noticed all of the furniture was gone,
so we carefully went upstairs in search of her cats.

(31:09):
The entire second floor was empty, no cats, no furniture,
even her clothes were gone. Come to find out, he
hired a moving company to pack and take everything, even
the food in the fridge. Finally found the cats. He
had taken them to another vet in town and put
them up for boarding under his sister's name, thinking she
would not be able to find them. He was finally

(31:31):
forced to disclose what happened to her possessions. He had
them taken to a storage unit far away from the home.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but relative to the
amount of animal abuse and the rest of this thread,
I'm glad he didn't try to kill the cats. Divorced
lawyer here. Spouse had been out of the house for weeks.
She waited until he was on a business trip, came

(31:53):
into the house, turned on all of the forcets, plugged
the drains, turned off the furnace, and left it. It
was minus ten degrees. He came back five days later,
the house was ruined, the water frozen, cracked the foundation.
I'm guessing no insurance or insurance didn't cover a deliberate
act of damage or something. I'm not a divorced lawyer,

(32:16):
but my parents got divorced about a year ago. My
mum didn't want my dad to show up in court
because he would contest and then they'd have to split
the assets. She phoned me and told me to put
laxatives in his food so he wouldn't be able to
make it. There had a client whose wife wanted him
out of the house. I told him not to leave,
just moved to her different bedroom for the time being,

(32:38):
because once he was out, the chances of him ever
getting back in was slim. He texted his wife and
told her he was staying in the house. She called
back and left of van that she wanted him out
and if he wasn't out soon, she would start taking
out her unhappiness on the children and would remind the
children that mommy was being mean to them because daddy
wouldn't leave. One O one on how to lose custody.

(33:00):
I don't practice divorce law, but I did an internship
with a family law judge in law school that involved
me sitting on a lot of stuff. One divorced couple
came in because the ex husband wanted to lower his
spousal support payments due to his lowered income, great financial responsibilities,
and the fact that his ex wife was declining to
seek paid employment, all of which Sam's reasonable on the face.

(33:24):
It turned out that while his income had been lower
due to cuts, his new wife, who technically worked as
his assistant and had done so prior to the divorce,
was now making quadruple her salary, more than he ever had.
He claimed that his ex wife hadn't paid renters living
with her and could have money to survive if she
charged them rent. It turned out they were the couples

(33:45):
shared eighteen year old twins who were living at home
having just graduating high school and were going to keep
living at home while starting college in the fall. It
also later turned out that he allowed his step daughter
and her two children to live with him and his
wife friend free and paid for her college. His ex
wife produced evidence that he told his own kids to
figure out paying for college themselves. He claimed that his

(34:07):
ex wife worked as a nanny for free by choice
and should be getting paid for work elsewhere. The kids
she watched for free were their three joint grandchildren from
their eldest child, two of which were severely disabled. He
claimed that when he married his new wife he gained
over fifteen new dependants, which was technically true if those
dependents were all in Mexico and included his new wife's

(34:28):
grown siblings and their families, none of whom he had
ever met. This dude was shocked when spousals support wasn't decreased.
He's trying to bleed his ex wife dry, not realizing
he's being bled dry by the new one.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
Lol.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
My dad is a divorce attorney. His clients couldn't decide
who would get the labrador puppies from a new litter
they just breed. The pups are worth one thousand dollars
a pop.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
Well.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
They also hadn't been up to date on their payments,
so Dad brought a litter of eight floppy puppies home
as colla for us to have until they could negotiate
the settlement. So much fun for us kids. Tl DR.
My client spouse accused him of giving his deceased wife cancer.
I represented a guy who was on his second marriage.

(35:15):
His first wife passed away from cancer. He and his
kids were obviously devastated. My client was a pretty sensitive
guy with a big heart. His second wife could be
very charming, which was why he fell for her, but
it was all a facade anyway. To make a long
story about a lengthy divorce short, my client met a
very kind and affectionate woman during his case. They really

(35:37):
hit took off, and were basically engaged. Even though his
divorce was far from over. The fanci started having health
problems and was diagnosed with a form of terminal cancer.
Somehow the second wife found out about this and tried
to use the cancer diagnosis against my client in court.
She developed this crazy theory that my client had killed
his first wife by giving her cancer and that he

(35:59):
was doing the same thing to his fiancy. The second
wife's attorney, who was quite good, refused to be a
party to it. The attorney never addressed the argument in
court and didn't even ask the second wife any questions
about it during testimony. Rather, the attorney informed the judge
that the second wife wished to address the court directly
about an issue. The judge allowed her to do so

(36:21):
in a highly irregular move. The second wife told her
crazy conspiracy theory to the judge, adding that she was
certain my client had tried to give her cancer at
some point as well. I wish I had an artist's
rendering of the scene, capturing the second wife's crazy eyes,
her attorney's look of shame embarrassment, the judge's look of
confusion on we and my look of or inspired as gust.

(36:44):
Poor guy though having two loved ones get terminal cancer.
I was an assistant for a family law practice, not
a lawyer, so it was already a disaster of a
divorce because the ex husband was a dong. But it
got so much worse when the wife started dating someone
new with a severe cat allergy, like a year after
they split up. Her psychoex brought a cat on his

(37:06):
time with the kids, except he's not allowed pets at
his apartment. He sends the kids back to their mom's
house with a cat and all its stuff. MoMA's be
because she didn't want a cat at all, plus her
boyfriend is crazy allergic. She calls us asking what to
do because her kids are balling, saying that she can't
get rid of their new sibling, and she has the
cat in the garage. X told kids, if Mommy loves you,

(37:29):
she'll let you keep the cat, since daddy is not
allowed cats at his house. Paralegal for divorced lawyer, this
one is morbid. We represented a guy who believed vehemently
that his wife was assaulting the children. The authorities were involved,
child Services was involved. It was never clear what the
truth was or if anything at all was going on,

(37:49):
but our client was sure. He shot his wife dead
at a custody exchange in front of the children. He
then sat down and waited for the authorities. We visited
him in jail with his criminal defense attorney. As we
were leaving, he told me, well, I guess the divorce
is over now, and he laughed. This was the first
time I had ever been speechless. I can't really reveal

(38:12):
details or context here, but I can safely say that
defending this action as heroic or understandable is an incorrect takeaway.
There are no heroes here. The trauma this man put
the children through is incredibly selfish, regardless of his intentions.
There are so many other options that could have been explored,
many of which were being explored when this happened. He

(38:33):
abruptly put an end to all of them, making the
truth forever impossible to discern. Where are they now. The
children are in the custody of a family member. They
are safe and well, although will no doubt need extensive
therapy as they get Elder guy is in jail. I'm
unsure of his final sentence, however, I doubt he will
ever leave. What did the kids say? Forensic interviews are

(38:56):
super confidential, and this case didn't have the chance to
go to a hearing. However, after multiple interviews with both
children and the parents, neither the police, Child Services Guardian
ad LTEM or child advocate recommended that the mother lose
custody or visitation, nor did they require it to be supervised.
All of these matters were a going when the mother died. Frick,

(39:19):
I should have stopped reading this thread once I got
to the parents who were saving alimony money for the
other in case of emergency. She accused her ex husband
of physically shaming their children while under the watchful eye
of the nationally endorsed social workers who oversawt his contact
with them, which was only required because he didn't have
his own private accommodation at the time. She also said

(39:41):
that his Indian flatnets were inherently dirty. After the obviously
false child physically shmaling suggestion, I warned her of the
consequences of being caught lying about that, that is permanent
loss of custody. She fired me, but kept calling back,
using fake names to try and obtain free advice, which
contradicted my advice. But everyone she called immediately spotted her.

(40:02):
This was a long time ago, and now I specialize
in insurance litigation, which is far less ugly. Do you
know what happened afterwards? Did she lose custody? Paralegal for
a divorced lawyer here, Our client told us he didn't
clear out the marital account after the parties filed, which
technically is true because while he removed forty five thousand dollars.

(40:25):
He left about three dollars and fifty cents in there,
disappointed that I didn't see any reference to the lockness
monster yet. I worked at a computer repair store as
a sales technician. Had a guy come in with a
desktop that he wanted Windows reinstalled. I asked him if
he wanted me to back up all of his data first,
and he told me that he had everything he wanted

(40:46):
and just did the wipe. I put it in the
queue and he paid and left. I started it about
an hour later. Since an XP install was only about
forty five minutes off the network, I didn't bother doing
anything else except deleting the original partition and making a
new you won an installing Windows. About an hour after that,
his wife came running and asking if we had a
computer with Smith as the last name. I told her

(41:08):
I did, and she showed me her it and said
that her husband brought it in to try and destroy
all the proof of him cheating and stealing money from
their business. When she asked if I had wiped everything yet,
I told her I just did a Windows and stall
and didn't actually really wipe anything. I called her husband
and told him the situation. I told him his wife
was here to get the computer. He asked me if

(41:29):
I reinstalled Windows like we spoke about, and I told
him I had. He told me, I don't give a
crap give her the computer. There isn't anything left on
it anyway. I said, all rights and hung up. I
told her that he said I could give it to
her and then explain to her how reinstalling Windows doesn't
magically delete everything, and explain to her how I could
recover all of her files in a couple of ours.

(41:52):
I ended up staying late that night and she bought
me pizza and mountain dew. I ended up recovering every
file he tried to have me destroy and made made
multiple copies for her. She ended up calling him from
the store and reading off some of the messages he
had tried to delete from his emails. I was worried
that he might try to come back in and confront me,
but nothing else ever came of it. Very cute of

(42:14):
her to bring you pizza and mountain dew. Husband and
wife divorce After husband finds out wife is sending obscene
texts to other guys, He goes into a deep depression.
They didn't have much, lots of debt, and two dogs.
One was a dog he had had since before the marriage.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
He got her.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
The other dog was only about three years old and
was bought to keep the older seven year old dog
company while they worked. The wife demanded that since he
got his dog, that she got the other. He is
depressed and just wants to move on, so he agrees.
She gets the dog and has it put down the
next day. She didn't want the dog, She just wanted
to hurt him. This one hits close to home because

(42:56):
it happened between my parents. We had a family friend
who was a lawyer, and my parents agreed that he
would be the lawyer for both of them as a mediator.
So as the assets were being divided, my dad got
absolutely slammed. She was going to get the house, cars,
half his retirement, and an insane amount of alimonae to
the tune of like two thousand, five hundred dollars a

(43:18):
month for the rest of her life. My dad has
a good job as a municipal employee, but that was
probably seventy percent ish off his paycheck. Turns out that
my moment, the family friend actually conspired to rip my
dad off and make it seem like that what a
divorce settlement looks like, and she was going kick back
more money under the table after the dust had settled.

(43:38):
Dad just didn't know how these things worked, so after
some convincing, he finally went out and got his own lawyer.
He got a very fair divorce settlement after that. Mum
still to this day can't understand why we don't talk
to her much. That other attorney could be disbarred for
that personal experiments. Unbeknownst to me my ex having an affair.

(44:01):
I worked a lot of hours, so I didn't pick
up on it. We had always dreamed of buying a
house on a huge local lake to retire in. We
literally started shopping for houses and even to radio a
dozen or so we found too well within our budget.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
But with need to.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
Sell our house first, my wife convinced me to take
out a couple loans in my name and get a
couple credit cards, again in my name. Most of the
bills were in hers and the mortgage was in hers,
so I did. I spent about twenty five dollars K
in CC in loans to fully update our house and
get it ready for market. As soon as the work

(44:37):
was done, she told me she was leaving me and
wanted to sell the house. But dang, did she get
the house or is it still ongoing. The most malicious
thing I know of personally involved a co worker of mine.
He was sleeping with a married woman and ultimately the
husband found out she was having an affair. Really ugly
divorce ensues during which they fought over a lot of assets,

(45:00):
build the real point of contention with their dog, lovely
GSD named Ryan. Eventually, husband gets custody of the dog
and in under a month as the dog put down
just to hurt her back for the affair. When I
posted this, I thought this situation was a rarity and
have shock and awe value from the cruelty at work.
After reading the responses in this thread, not only am

(45:22):
I saddened by how many pets get caught in the crossfire,
but I am genuinely shocked by the length some people
will go for petty vengeance. There must be rules on
vets putting down healthy pets. My uncle's ex tried to
work it in that she would get half off whatever
my grandmother would leave him when she passes jokes on her.
My grandmother is passing over her kids, not maliciously. My

(45:46):
uncle is very well off and so is my mom
and leaving everything to my brother and me. Oh also
tried to get sole custody of both of their children,
who are in their twenties. I'm going to school to
be a vet assistant teacher. As a veterinarian, she told
us on Monday. She's had clients bring their animals in
to be euthanized so their spouse couldn't have them. SMDH

(46:10):
not a divorce lawyer, but worked for one. Back in
the nineties, a woman and her kids went on vocation
and came back home to find that the soon to
be ex husband had broken into their house with his attorney,
thrown a party, and microwave the kid's kitten. Husband's attorney
got desparred, I believe, but that was about it and
microwave the kid's kitten. What the actual frick is wrong

(46:31):
with people? I'm not a lawyer, but I work as
a legal assistant for a family lawyer. The ex husband
was getting remarried. One his ex wife sent him and
his new fiance a dozen black roses before their wedding.
Two his ex wife then had a plane fly across
during their wedding, dragging a sign that read name of

(46:52):
ex husband likes it up the butt. You can't make
this stuff up. The sad part is she was not
well and had been in and out of sight wards
over the years. But I hope she's getting the help
she needs now. I'm not a divorce lawyer, but my
prior employer once was served with an obviously forged garnishment
order from an employees X wife directing garnishment of his

(47:15):
wages in an amount that far exceeded his actual wages.
We reported it to the police department employer here, who
has had to garnish wages from time to time. I
don't know how it is there, but here, when there's
any sort of garnishment, we pay the money to a
state county and they send the money to the person
or company the X wouldn't have got in it anyway.

(47:38):
I had one client who was controlling their spouse by
keeping them addicted to him. I fired them. My boss
had a client who, well after we fired them, set
themselves in their child on fire rather than give up custody.
Here's my funny story. On the stand. My client and
the other lawyer's client. Each spent about in our saying
I'm not lying, there lying, then calling the other a

(47:58):
bee but gouff you name it, often using that phrase exactly.
At one point, one of them was cautioned by the
judge for swearing and said, frick sorry. The judge decided
they were both not credible. Lawyers Ofvre did what is
the pettiest reason you've ever seen?

Speaker 1 (48:16):
For divorce?

Speaker 2 (48:17):
A client and his wife came in regarding a real
estate transaction. At the end of the consultation, the client
casually stated that he would like to divorce his wife.
I was stunned. The wife started crying. The client started
rubbing his wife's shoulder and told her that everything would
be okay. That was an awkward few minutes. The weirdest

(48:38):
I've ever seen is a co worker of mine. His
wife saw a picture of him at a pool when
he was in high school and really athletic, turned muscular, tanned,
and so on. Over the ten year after high school,
he stopped lifting and lost his muscle tone and just
became skinny. She told him she wanted him to get
back to working out because she really liked the way
he once looked, and he said it was something he

(48:59):
missed doing and agreed to get a gym membership. He
was going to the gym four days a week, but
was only really working out for two of them. On
the days he didn't work out, he would sit in
the sauna to get sweaty, watch Netflix, and then go home.
When she asked about him going to the gym and
accidentally let it slip that he was fudging workouts twice
a week, she apparently found that to be a deal

(49:20):
breaker and filed for divorce. Weird feeling to have your
wife attracted more to her past version of yourself she
never met than you. It would give me some serious depression.
My father in law and mother in law's breaking point
was when he threw a bread crumb at her from
across the kitchin the divorce took four years to settle.
The bread crumb heard around the house. I had a

(49:43):
client to with his wife were unto a computed game
like the Sims, only more x rated. I think it
was called Second Life, where you have an avatar and
can interact with other people's avatars. He suspected his wife
of through her avatar hijinx and made his own avatar
to stalk her in the game. Sure enough, her avatar
was doing the dirty with some dude's avatar. That was

(50:05):
it for my client. Wife wanted divorce like two months
into marriage because the husband would squeeze the toothpaste from
the top and not bottom. She claims to have told
him a million times over to start, would have been
easier to get two toothpastes. I thought, definitely the fridge story.
A woman filed for divorce because her husband would eat

(50:26):
everything he can find in their fridge whenever the wife
was out for work, so she came back to them
basically empty fridge each night. He also cheated on her,
but she was less angry about that. The fridge was
what pushed her to the point she wanted a divorce. Honestly,
I understand my younger sister stole my M and MS
once and I was pe can't imagine if it was

(50:47):
someone I was married to eating everything in the fridge.
I'm far too angry to take such a thing rationally.
I'm a lawyer, but not that kind. However, my brother's
fourth wife divorced him because she found out the ring
he'd used was originally his third wife's They deserved each other.
I think once you get up to a fourth wife,
maybe you should rethink your life choices in general. Nobody

(51:11):
ever believes me about this one, but it's true. A
man wanted a divorce from his wife because, and he
gave this example as the last straw, his wife ate
those nasty pumpkin Halloween candies like candy corn, but pumpkin shaped.
He had been looking forward to them all day, and
when he got home she had eaten them more. He snapped,

(51:31):
swear on my life, this story is true. Should have
been in their marriage. Vows to have him to hold
from this day forward, as long as you don't eat
all the pumpkin candies. I once had clients who got
a divorce because she wanted to buy a condo in
Naples Efel. The petty part of the story is that
combined their law your fees would have bought a very

(51:52):
nice condo on the water in Naples. Ethelner Man divorced
Ernest borgnin after about a month. Because he often would
Dutch Oven. She wrote a biography. The chapter about her
marriage to him is a single blank page. Lawyer, but
not a family or lawyer by trade, not sure if
petterness was attached, but one contributing reason to her divorce

(52:13):
I saw was that mom wanted her son to play
soccer and Dad didn't. Probably had fundamental differences in how
they believed their children should be raised, and this was
just a symptom of it. Not me, but a family
member who is an attorney had some one call her
day for of the lockdown, saying, I have been stuck
with my wife for four days and I need a divorce.

(52:34):
I'm sorry, but compared to the others I've read here,
this is one of the most hilarious in my eyes.
Not a lawyer, but apparently my brother divorced his wife
when McDonald's forgot to put b b Q sauce in
with her chicken nuggets at the drive through, and she
asked him to go back and get some. He didn't,
and then I guess she started smashing up food and
throwing it at him out the window. So yet, MacDonald's,

(52:57):
how could you ruin a marriage dandruff? Wife didn't like
that the husband's dandruff would flow into her face when
riding a bike. They make bicycles built for one, now
I know, But my dad divorced my mom because she
didn't throw enough parties. Now he lives alone, he neither
throws nor goes to parties. Not a lawyer. My mom's

(53:20):
coworker divorced over dishes in the dishwasher. The wife would
get so frustrated over the husband coworker not rinsing dishes
before he loads them in the dishwasher. To compromise, they
bought a super nice top of the line dishwasher. Solves
the problem, right, She yelled about the dishes that night.
He filed for divorce. The next day. I rins dishes,

(53:43):
but the manual for my sweetmeal dishwasher says don't. The
food particles are detected as part of the rint cycles.
As far as I know, my first internship in law
school was at a family law firm. Did work on
one case where a couple divorced after forty eight years
of marriage. The guy said he finally got sick of
her cooking. Not a lawyer, paralegal. Someone came in for

(54:08):
a divorce because their soon to be exchanged the password
on their phone, but plaintiff had always had the coat
to get in, but now they didn't. Divorce time. Not
a lawyer, but this happened to my wife's cousin. Her
husband came home one day asking her to give a
higher financial contribution on the groceries because she, as a lady,

(54:28):
was using more toilet paper than him. She took it
as a joke and had a good laugh. He got
mad and asked for divorce worth, mentioning that his salary
was three times higher than her one. Almost every fricking
guy I've lived closely with seems to wrap the paper
twenty times around the hand, then wipe once and do
it again. If the waste paper basket is there, yes,

(54:50):
I did not ask you to fill it. I remember
one episode of a TV show here in my country,
similar to Jerry Springer. The woman didn't know her husband
used densch until marrying and living together. She said she
couldn't handle anymore. She was disgusted. They both cried. She
said a lot of I'm sorry, but she couldn't go on.

(55:10):
They were married for a few months. Don't know if
it was true, though, it's like the legend of the
Chinese couple. He found out after they got married that
she had gotten work done before meeting him. He sued
her for misrepresenting herself My aunt used to work as
a divorce lawyer. The worst one was the couple fighting
over a hamster, of which took so long the thing

(55:32):
died before they were settled. She said it was a
bargaining ship to win favor from their children at that rate,
just by another hamster. My ex was like this, basically
gave him everything just so I could leave him. He
took most of the money and assets, but I got
away from him.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
Yeay.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
Then he blew all his money and abandoned the kids.
Seriously struggled to cope with one hundred percent care and cost,
but wouldn't change at BC. I have my kids and
they have me. Still was very high to come to
terms with the injustice. Sigh. My dad was a lawyer,
not me. He once told me that a divorce came

(56:08):
in because the wife would just scream at the top
of her lungs randomly. Maybe she'll stop screaming after when married. No, No,
that wasn't it. Luckily it was not a marriage yet.
But a friend broke off a five year relationship and
an engagement in an argument over Panda express. Their relationship
had been strained and he had just moved to a

(56:29):
new city.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
For work.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
During his lunch break, she calls him and asked where
he was eating. He says, Pander Express, and she's like,
e ww, Panda Express. You eat that every day?

Speaker 1 (56:40):
No? I don't.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
I might have it once a week. No, you eat
their like every day. Then he hangs up on her
and they never spoke again. Wtflow Well, honestly, I know
a couple that divorced Hannald after less than six months
married because the guy started farting around her, not like
at her, but just not whole him around her anymore.

(57:02):
The first time my husband fared in front of me
was a few months into dating. It was the worst
smell to this day that I've ever experienced. He was
so ashamed that I had to forgive him, but I
was so mad at the time. Turns out he does
a lot of terrible farts because he has ibes. If
they're really bad, he sleeps on the couch. I decay.

(57:22):
I just really love him, even when he farts. A
woman came in wanting to divorce her husband. He had
just gotten a new job and a pretty big race.
It turned out that this new job of his also
required that he worked from home. But he was working
in an office before she was having an affair with
their next door neighbor and him being home or meant
that she couldn't cheat on her husband easily. That was

(57:44):
definitely a twist. I was expecting something like him being
the one having the affair, but nope. I left my
husband because he nababe. I got it at me constantly
but would never do it. Last straw with him letting
our power go out in July, when we had a
heatwave and my sick dog was stuck in the heat.
I decided to divorce my first husband when he complained

(58:07):
about me buying lunch at McDonald's. He had called me
at my office asked what my lunch plans were, and
I said I was meeting my friend Cali at McDonald's.
He started complaining about spending money for restaurant food and
that I should have packed lunch from home. We had
just that past weekend. Bought him a new pair of
ski boots that cost over one hundred dollars. It was

(58:29):
the final straw. I was unhappy about a few things
that I could have overlooked, but to be lectured about
spending six dollars on a burger and fries was just
too much. I let him be for a few minutes.
Gently hung up the phone, walked into my manager's office
to quit, went home and started packing. Friend's wife is
a marriage counselor. She had this couple coming in trying

(58:52):
to work things out before a divorce. The husband went
non stop on why he wanted the divorce. She said
two incidents really stuck with her. The first was the
husband was doing some yard work and asked the wife
to carry some twigsy trimmed from some bushes. He grabs
a huge stack and lugs them over the pile he
was going to mulch. Wife just grabs a couple of sticks.

(59:13):
He asked if she could carry more than that, and
she picked up a couple of more sticks. She said
the husband emphasized the word couple. The second was the
wife told her husband that they had finally got into
her point in finances where they could buy a new vehicle.
The husband said he was excited and sat down with
his wife to price vehicles. The husband said every one
he showed her was out of their budget. He became

(59:36):
extremely frustrated and asked what the budget was. She replied
two thousand dollars that was the tipping point for the divorce.
Not a lawyer, but worked in education. Had a father
that informed me Kevin's mom was no longer in the
picture since she couldn't learn how to squeeze the top
pace properly. He wasn't joking, confirmed by the son, the
father is serious about things like that.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
Yikes.

Speaker 2 (59:59):
I know a good guy whose fiancee nearly called off
their wedding because he forgot to disinvite his attractive, single
female friend. They eventually got divorced over it. Said friend
was a part of a larger co ed friend group. Apparently,
the guy in the story was designated driver one evening
out when his fiance was out of town and dropped
everyone off at home one by one. He apparently dropped

(01:00:21):
this particular friend off last. Logistically, it made sense on
the route he took. She lived closest to his house,
but that meant that they were alone together in the
car for eight minutes. They have zero romantic history together,
nothing happened, and they barely interact save for when they
are gathered as a group. His fiance became highly suspicious

(01:00:41):
of him, and she was convinced something happened between him
and the friend, despite him calling as they left the
bar and thirty minutes later when he arrived home alone.
They have a doorbell camera which she was watching. She
asked a bunch of questions about what they talked about
at the bar, when they were in the car, and
what was said when the two of them were alone.
She then casually said she doesn't want her to come

(01:01:02):
to their wedding. He agreed to disinvite her. Billy forgot
and just thought the whole thing would.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
Blow over well.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
Wedding dare arrives and she shows up in a Nubo
exl with four or five members of the friend group.
The fiance can see guests arriving from the bridal suite
and throws a full on tantrum when the friend arrives.
The wedding planner locked the bride, groom, best man, and
maid of honor in their hotel room and told them
to work it out. They did not work it out.

(01:01:30):
The bride wanted the groom to tell her to leave,
and he tried to point out that would cause way
more of a disturbance than if they just let it
be and pretend she didn't exist for the day. Wrong answer.
The best man eventually got a hold of the groom's
phone and called the friend and explained the situation. She
left the wedding and hasn't spoken to the groom since.
The wedding took place forty five minutes late while the

(01:01:52):
make up person was called back to fix the bride's
make up. They eventually split after the groom realized that
the accusations would never end. Every one was suspect, his
co workers, his friend's wives, her friends. He couldn't talk
to any other woman, no matter how harmless the conversation
without her getting suspicious. And yes, we all thought she

(01:02:12):
was cheating on him. We made the mistake one time
of bringing this up until became belligerent and attempted to
fight everyone, so we left it alone and will never
know yet she definitely was. She was fricking out the
guisan for some reason. He had a problem with that. Seriously,
she was genuinely mystified that it bothered him. Gaslighting man.

(01:02:34):
She knew the entire time he was wrong and that
her husband she would have made a problem with it,
but attempting to make it seem like not a big deal.
She was hoping he'd second guess his feelings and stay
not a lawyer, but I'd have to say my divorce
was kind of petty. She decided a year and a
half after she kicked me out she should divorce me
because I didn't come crawling back to her. Funny as

(01:02:57):
she realized too late that when she kicked me out,
she didn't of any income. From my experience, if something
petty is the stated reason, there's usually a lot more
to the story. One of the pettiest reasons was when
my female client believed that her husband loved his mother
more than he'd ever love her. Now I'm going to
answer a different question. What was the craziest reason for

(01:03:20):
a divorce? Glad you asked? My client female was convinced
her husband was having an affair. He worked some construction
job but always came home smelling grate. She finds texts
from his work friend Bob, where they are planning some
late night pipe repairs. Well, this is the South, there
is no such thing as gay hair, so she believed

(01:03:40):
that him and Bob were just working late. My client
feels awful. He thought her husband was cheating, and clearly
he wasn't. He cared so much about her that he
worked with Bob all through the night. He even cared
so much about her sense of smell that he'd even
shower so she wouldn't have to smell all the sex,
I mean pipe cleaning stuff. She feels so bad she

(01:04:01):
takes him to dinner. He asks her if she wants
a drink, and she sees him walk off to the
bar to get their drinks. Most thoughtful husband ever. Well,
a minute turns to five to ten. Finally she decides
she has to find him. She looks everywhere, then realizes
that she didn't check the men's room. She's afraid her
precious husband is sick. She jiggles the door open. Her

(01:04:24):
husband was on his knees, but he wasn't sick. She
caught him giving a stranger a BJ at the bar
on their date to make up for the whole Sorry,
I thought you were having an affair thing. The reason
I know this in such details, she wrote a seven
page front and back letter detailing every sexual thing her
husband ever did, thought about, or even looked like he

(01:04:45):
thought about. Jesus, that is wild lo Well, any other
married people sitting here wondering if some stupid little thing
they did or said it was gonna be onre di
It next year.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
Lol.

Speaker 2 (01:04:56):
Babe, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I forgot the end.
I know, I sometimes forget things at the grocery store,
even when I bring a list the look my wife
gave me the last time I farted. I'm not a lawyer,
but I've heard of a breakup between a couple because
the gf said that their zodiac signs were not compatible
and therefore they couldn't be together. When I started dating

(01:05:20):
my X, my mom totally freaked out because apparently our
Chinese zodiacs didn't match. Yet she believes in all that
superstitious crab since that moment, she was subtly trying to
break us up. Grocery costs. Literally thought it was a
joke or code for something. Turned out she came from
a tight budget family and thought he was so wasteful

(01:05:41):
with his paycheck when he bought ribs once a month.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
Not a lawyer.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
In one of my philosopher professors now ex professor and
his wife got a divorce because he tried to exhausize her.
The Christian school didn't take it well, and he is
no longer a professor there.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
Well.

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
Actually, the couple was getting a divorce due to the
wife having a year long affair with a professor of
the rival school across the street. The attempted exorcism didn't
help matters though edit since several people seem interested. The
exorcism didn't work. According to said professor, the couple got
a divorce, the professor had got some custody of the kids,

(01:06:19):
got screwed in the money matters, and now his ex
wife and kids are moving to Ohio. I guess the
thing with the rival school's professor didn't work out for
the ex wife. While his oldest daughter is preparing to
go to the school he used to teach at this fall.
Poor girl has to pay her way now when she
planned for most of her life on going for free.
The whole story was pretty big for her. While at school,

(01:06:41):
the professor went to jail illegally for like a month
without any accusation against him because he answered a phone
call from one of his super young daughters. His wife
had filed her protection order for herself, not the children,
and the campus police took them away even though he
didn't answer the call on campus. It was a whole
scandal and the school was involved way more than it

(01:07:02):
legally should have been super weird stuff. According to this professor,
the president of the school was demon possessed and that
accounted for the whole thing. It gave a portion of
the student body something to covently argue over for a
couple weeks. Not a divorce, but a couple I know
broke up after the woman had a dream that the
guy was cheating on her. Apparently her reasoning was if

(01:07:24):
it wasn't true, I wouldn't dream about it. She took
it so seriously she left him. I've known the guy
for a very long time. He maintains he's never been
unfaithful to anybody, and I believe him. A teacher I
had in HS got divorced because his wife didn't like
how much sex he had before they had been married.
To put in context, how petty of a reason that was,

(01:07:47):
they had been married for twelve years and had three
kids together. She had also met him a few years
into his teaching career, which didn't start till he was
thirty two. But to say both sides of the argument,
he did have a stag during large amounts of sex.
He was an Olympian and had been going to the
Olympics to compete since he was eighteen. He was the
best teacher to ever have as a homeroom teacher, as

(01:08:09):
the stories he could tell were just surrill. Not divorced,
but ald on their wedding day. I've told the story
a few times. Andre did so. Long story, short time.
She told him several hundred times that if he smashed
the cake in her face at the reception, it was over.

Speaker 1 (01:08:26):
He did it, she.

Speaker 2 (01:08:27):
Walked out and had it and the next day. This
was over thirty years ago. Btw. My extinc side divorced
him because my friends told me too. What actually happened
was I was butching about him to a friend and
she said, you know, he really is a passive, aggressive
piece of garbage. He does this all the time. And
then I started thinking about how he really did pull

(01:08:49):
that crap all the time, and how I wasn't actually depressed,
I just hated living with him. She opened my eyes
that I divorced him because he treated me like crap,
not because my friend told me too. Good friends are amazing.
Not a lawyer in this doesn't exactly fit. But my
dad told me he divorced my mom because she didn't

(01:09:09):
do the dishes and keep the house clean. I was
fifteen and a messy kid. He wanted me to do
all chores before he got home. When I was eighteen,
my mom informed me that he was supposed to watch
me and my brother while my mom was in the hospital.
He decided to go to a bar instead, left me
unattended with a child molester to be baby sat. Then

(01:09:29):
God Hella drunk and cheated on my mom. She caught
him cheating and divorced him, then demanded full custody with
supervised contact after finding out it had been left with
and molested by said pophile. He was my mom's dad,
and she was under extreme pressure by her family to
let him see me and my brother, but she had
been careful to make sure another adult was always there,

(01:09:50):
be it her a sibling or her mother. My dad
knew what he had done to my mom when she
was a kid and still left me with him. Definitely
not a petty reason. You have a good relationship with
your mom. Still, my client's wife asked for a divorce
after he refused to pay fifty two thousand dollars per
semester for their daughter to go to the private high school.

(01:10:11):
The wife had gone to as a child, not a lawyer,
but met a mechanic at a bar in Botswana who
was apparently a superb fixer of broken vehicles. Darty seemed
quite normal, although a bit witchy after the tenth brandy
and coke. He then told me that he had loved
his wife but couldn't handle the way she used to
cross thread the lid of her contact Len's holder. I

(01:10:32):
nearly killed her, but was persuaded to leave her. I'm
currently reading A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson,
where he walks the Appalachian Trail. He heard a good
one from the hiker Consinaiz that gave him a ride
to the start point. He dropped a guilef with the
most expensive gear he'd seen, who made it just three
days to the first pay phone before calling for a

(01:10:53):
ride and flew home. It wasn't what I expected. A
week later, he shows back up for a ride to
the start. His wife wouldn't let him quit after so
much financial commitment. Again he calls for a ride from
the payphone, but this time does not fly home. So
I got married at eighteen, same story as most crappy

(01:11:14):
home life needed desperately to get out of the house.
So I married the first guy that came around and
stayed with him until I was twenty two. I was
working one day and he didn't answer any of my
texts or calls. Eventually I got an answer, and I
before I could even say hey, his response was, what
do you want? I'm playing call of duty. I left

(01:11:34):
him a week later. Most of time, the petty reasons
are just the straw that breaks the back. Divorce lawyers
of radit what is the most insane, evil, funny, dumb
where spouse has tried to screw the other. I worked
at a computer repair store as a sales technician. Had
a guy come in with a desktop that he wanted

(01:11:54):
Windows reinstalled. I asked him if he wanted me to
back up all of his data first, and he told
me that he had everything he wanted and just did
a wipe. I put it in the queue and he
paid and left. I started it about an hour later.
Since an XP install was only about forty five minutes
off the network, I didn't bother doing anything else except
deleting the original partition and making a new one and

(01:12:15):
installing Windows. About an hour after that, his wife came
running and asking if we had a computer with Smith
as the last name. I told her I did, and
she showed me her it and said that her husband
brought it in to try and destroy all the proof
of him cheating and stealing money from their business. When
she asked if I had wiped everything yet, I told
her I just did a Windows in stall and didn't

(01:12:36):
actually really wipe anything. I called her husband and told
him the situation. I told him his wife was here
to get the computer. He asked me if I reinstalled
Windows like we spoke about, and I told him I had.
He told me I don't give a crap. Give her
the computer. There isn't anything left on it anyway. I said,
all rights and hung up. I told her that he

(01:12:57):
said I could give it to her and then explain
to her how installing Windows doesn't magically delete everything, and
explain to her how I could recover all of her files.

Speaker 1 (01:13:06):
In a couple of ours.

Speaker 2 (01:13:07):
I ended up staying late that night and she bought
me pizza and Mountain dew. I ended up recovering every
file he tried to have me destroyed, and made multiple
copies for her. She ended up calling him from the
store and reading off some of the messages he had
tried to delete from his emails. I was worried that
he might try to come back in and confront me,
but nothing else ever came of it. Very cute of

(01:13:29):
her to bring you pizza.

Speaker 1 (01:13:30):
And mountain dew.

Speaker 2 (01:13:32):
Husband and wife divorce after husband finds out wife is
sending obscene texts to other guys. He goes into a
deep depression. They didn't have much, lots of debt, and
two dogs. One was a dog he had had since
before the marriage. He got her. The other dog was
only about three years old and was bought to keep
the older seven year old dog company while they worked.

(01:13:55):
Wife demanded that since he got his dog, that she
got the other. He is depressed and just wants to
move on, so he agrees. She gets the dog and
has it put down the next day. She didn't want
the dog, She just wanted to hurt him. This one
hits close to home because it happened between my parents.
We had a family friend who was a lawyer, and

(01:14:15):
my parents agreed that he would be the lawyer for
both of them as a mediator. So as the assets
were being divided, my dad got absolutely slammed. She was
going to get the house, cars, half his retirement and
an insane amount of alimonae. But if the tune of
like two thousand, five hundred dollars a month for the
rest of her life. My dad has a good job

(01:14:36):
as a municipal employee, but that was probably seventy percent
ish off his paycheck. Turns out that my moment the
family friend actually conspired to rip my dad off and
make it seem like that what a divorce settlement looks like,
and she was going kick back more money under the
table after the dust had settled. Dad just didn't know
how these things worked, so after some convincing, he finally

(01:14:59):
went out in he got his own lawyer. He got
a very fair divorce settlement after that. Mum still to
this day can't understand why we don't talk to her much.
That other attorney could be disbarred for that personal experiments.
Unbeknownst to me, my ex was having an affair. I
worked a lot of hours, so I didn't pick up
on it. We had always dreamed of buying a house

(01:15:21):
on a huge local lake to retire in. We literally
started shopping for houses and even to radio a dozen
or so. We found too well within our budget, but
would need to sell our house first. My wife convinced
me to take out a couple loans in my name
and get a couple credit cards, again in my name.
Most of the bills were in hers and the mortgage

(01:15:42):
was in hers, so I did. I spent about twenty
five dollars K in CC and loans to fully update
our house and get it ready for market. As soon
as the work was done, she told me she was
leaving me and wanted to sell the house. Dang, did
she get the house or is it still ongoing. Most
malicious thing I know of personally involved a co worker

(01:16:04):
of mine. He was sleeping with a married woman and
ultimately the husband found out she was having an affair.
Really ugly divorce ensues during which they fought over a
lot of assets that the real point of contention was
their dog, lovely GSD named Ran. Eventually, husband gets custody
of the dog and in under a month as the

(01:16:25):
dog put down just to hurt her back for the affair.
When I posted this, I thought this situation was a
rarity and have shock and awe value from the cruelty
at work. After reading the responses in this thread, not
only am I saddened by how many pets get caught
in the crossfire, but I am genuinely shocked by the
length some people will go for petty vengeance. There must

(01:16:46):
be rules on vets putting down healthy pets. My uncle's
ex tried to work it in that she would get
half off whatever my grandmother would leave him when she passes.

Speaker 1 (01:16:56):
Jokes on her.

Speaker 2 (01:16:57):
My grandmother is passing over her.

Speaker 1 (01:16:59):
Kids, not maliciously.

Speaker 2 (01:17:01):
My uncle is very well off and so is my
mom and leaving everything to my brother and me. Oh
also tried to guess sole custody of both of their children,
who are in their twenties. I'm not a lawyer, but
I work as a legal assistant for a family lawyer.
The ex husband was getting remarried. One his ex wife

(01:17:21):
sent him and his new fiance a dozen black roses
before their wedding. Two his ex wife then had a
plane fly across during their wedding, dragging a sign that
read name of ex husband likes it up the butt.
You can't make this stuff up. Sad part is she
was not well and had been in and out of
psych wards over the years. But I hope she's getting

(01:17:41):
the help she needs now. Not a divorced lawyer, but
worked for one. Back in the nineties, a woman and
her kids went on vocation and came back home to
find that the soon to be ex husband had broken
into their house with his attorney, thrown a party, and
microwave the kid's kitten. Husband's attorney got disbarred, I believe,
but that was about it. And microwave the kid's kitten.

(01:18:04):
What the actual frick is wrong with people? I'm going
to school to be a vet assistant. My teacher as
a veterinarian. She told us on Monday She's had clients
bring their animals into be euthanized so their spouse couldn't
have them SMDH. I'm not a divorce lawyer, but my
prior employer once was served with an obviously forged garnishment

(01:18:26):
order from an employee's x wife directing garnishment of his
wages in an amount that far exceeded his actual wages.
We reported it to the police department employer here, who
has had to garnish wages from time to time. I
don't know how it is there good here. When there's
any sort of garnishment, we pay the money to a

(01:18:46):
state county, and they send the money to the person
or company the X wouldn't have gotten it anyway. I
was quite rightly reminded that posting about an active file,
even anonymously and on generic terms, is bad practice. So
I removed that I had one client who was controlling
their spouse by keeping them addicted to m I fired them.

(01:19:08):
My boss had a client who, well after we fired them,
set themselves in their child on fire rather than give
up custody. Anyone asking if the above was a specific case,
I am ethically prohibited from confirming or denying. But this
is sadly not a very unique event. There are lots
of reported and unreported instances. None of these are that funny.

(01:19:28):
I apologize, So here's my funny story. Understand, my client
and the other lawyer's client each spent about in our
saying I'm not lying, their lying, then calling the other
a bee buttole goof you name it, often using that
phrase exactly. At one point, one of them was cautioned
by the judge for swearing and said frick sorry. The

(01:19:49):
judge decided they were both not credible. Former divorced lawyer
not so much insane, but unfortunately common accusing former spouse
of molesting the sho children and domestic violence to retain
full custody and get a restraining order to force spouse
how I of the marital home. This sets the new
status quo for custody, which judges are reluctant to disrupt

(01:20:11):
considerably down the road. Takes months, if not years, for
accused spouse to prove his innocence, and cps will often
find evidence when none exists if accusing party is a
good enough manipulator actor. Pretty horrendous long term outcome for
all parties. Kids are brainwashed against a strange parent when young. Later,
they often grow to resent the accusing parent for poisoning

(01:20:32):
their relationship with a strange parent. Kids often grow up
with multitude of mental health issues, probably one of the
worst things a person can do to their children, all
to win against their former spouse. People who do this
and are found out should be jailed.

Speaker 1 (01:20:47):
I don't care.

Speaker 2 (01:20:48):
How long after the fact it is. This is just
so absolutely flicked up. I work for a divorce attorney now,
but the craziest thing came to my attention when I
worked for the prosecuting attorney. This couple was breaking up
and mister left the house. Missus went to work the
next morning as usual. When she returned home in the evening,
she found mister had been to the house and removed

(01:21:10):
his clothing and belonging that she expected. What she didn't
expect was that he had also guerrilla glued her belongings together.
He glued the TV remote to the table, the phone
to its crable, the couch pillows to the couch, and
even glued the vacuum cleaner to the carpet. She called
the police and reported this as property damage. The police
went with her through the house, documenting dozens of items

(01:21:31):
glued to various things. But for days she was discovering
random things, and she would call to her mend or
update her report. M gd oven mits were glued to
the wall, or he glued the effing sheets together in
the linen closet. I've seen people do and say really
awful things to each other, but that was diabolical, Roe,
that's creative. Smart of her to call the police. Oh,

(01:21:53):
documenting this upfront helps not my story, but one I
read here a couple of years ago. I really hope
I don't butcher it as it's been a while, but
he goes there was a super wealthy guy that was
a top execut a fortune five hundred company who was
getting a divorce, and it was rather nasty. This guy
was pretty much set for life. He had a bunch

(01:22:14):
of stock houses and assets in so many places. The
ex wife wanted everything she could possibly get. The husband
came up with an idea that if she let him
keep everything, he would give her half off his paycheck
for the rest of his life. She quickly agreed because
his checks were huge, and this also included any bonuses,
which were in the millions. As soon as the paperwork

(01:22:36):
was finalized, he quit his job and started to work
part time at a sporting goods store. I can't remember
which one. This story was told by another employee than
not the actual guy that got divorced. Anyway, he still
had all of his assets, so he would drive to
work in a super expensive car, and one day the
employee asked how he could possibly afford that car. The

(01:22:57):
guy said he was set for life and didn't even
need to work at but every Friday when he got
his paycheck, it made everything so worth its knowing his
ex wife would only be getting about one hundred and
fifty dollars per check. I remember that one. I think
when the ex wife tried to sue for more money,
he just said the emotional toll of the divorce was
too great and he just couldn't handle the stress of

(01:23:17):
his old, high paying job anymore. I'm in a different
area of law, but my co worker had a client
in a messy divorce where the parties were required to
split up some antique pots. When the husband delivered the
wife's share of the pots to our office, he took
a crap in each one of them. It was a
whole big incident. I just saw this on a YouTube video.

(01:23:39):
The husband gave the wife everything material, house, cars, etc.
In the divorce except his magic the gathering collection. When
he went to collect it, he found his wife had
broken the seal on his MTG Alpha starter deck. This
was worth about twenty k USD at the time and
currently for sale on various sites for around fifty k.

(01:24:00):
For context, as soon as you'd break the seal, the
deck becomes worthless, and unless you get some of the
insanely priced cards like Black Lotus, you will lose a
significant amount of money. So she literally got all the
assets they accrued over the marriage and killed the only
thing of value this guy got out of total spite.
Calma Magic, the gathering collection. I know of a guy

(01:24:21):
who had these really rare playing card decks that he
managed to win in a divorce settlement and his wife
did the same thing. He ended up suing and she
had to pay over a quarter of a million because
that would have been the insurance payout if they were stolen.
I read one where in the settlement there was shed
custody of a parrot. Neither were allowed to teach the
parrot to swear at the other one. I hope the

(01:24:43):
parrot is going through some counseling. How about a wholesome
insane one eenol. But this was told to me by
my mom regarding the divorce she got from my dad.
They couldn't settle on an alimany amount. Mom and a
lawyer came in with a number wanted with a number.
They couldn't agree because my dad thought my mom should

(01:25:04):
get twice the amount in alimony she was asking for,
and my mom didn't want my dad to give her
that much money for month. It took months for them
to settle on a figure that appeased both of them.
Even then, my mom puts aside the extra above what
she wanted in case my dad ever has a financial emergency,
and my dad puts aside the extra she didn't want
in case my mom ever has a financial emergency. The

(01:25:27):
funny thing is they don't know the other is putting
the money aside for the other. My mom told me
about her emergency stash, and my dad told my brother
about his emergency stash. Bro and I discussed it while
talking about what nut jobs our parents are. Their divorce
was perfect.

Speaker 1 (01:25:43):
It wasn't.

Speaker 2 (01:25:44):
There were still some hurt, feelings and resentment from all
parties involved. However, my parents, for all their flaws, both
accepted their own responsibilities for the falling apart. I think
it helps that they still loved each other deeply. They
just weren't in love anymore. They have been friends since
my mom was two and my dad was three, started

(01:26:04):
dating when mom was twelve and dad was thirteen. They
separated at the ages of forty nine and fifty. It
makes sense that they grew apart. I've had a few
people ask why they divorced in the first place. My
dad had had a girlfriend for at least fifteen years,
possibly longer. My mom knew, but they agreed to not
divorce until my younger brother had graduated high school. My

(01:26:27):
dad got remarried to his girlfriend. My mom has also
since remarried. All four of them get along famously now.
The separation and divorce happened about ten years ago. I'm
very lucky to have four parents who care about me
and who absolutely adore my own little dudes. Not a lawyer,
but my partner has a mate who was going through

(01:26:47):
a messy divorce. He registered as a gambling addict and
went to some gambling anonymous or whatever it's called, and
proceeded to go to the casino every day, taking wadds
of cash with him, pretending to gamble it all away
while he was secretly squirreling it all away. That way,
when it came to the divorce and he was questioned
where all his money went, he could prove that he

(01:27:09):
lost it all through his gambling addiction and never had
to pay her a penny. If your ex spouse wants
your pet and they intend harm to it and it's
not chipped, give the dog away to a friend. They
can chip the animal and there you go. They have
verified ownership, not a lawyer. I worked at Staples for
six months in college. I only ever sold one chair

(01:27:31):
mat because the cheapest one was crapp and the nice
one was one hundred and twenty dollars ish. One day,
a guy walks in who looks homeless. He looks distraught.
I give him my normal doing all right today, sir,
and he tells me that he needs a chair mat,
so I walk him back to show him the options.
I told him that no one had ever bought one
because the thirty dollar mat is flimsy and the nice

(01:27:53):
mat is over one hundred dollars. He looks deeply into
my eyes and says, my wife left me today. She
cheated on me, and she's going to take everything. Give
me the most expensive match you have. If she wants it,
I'll cut it down the middle so she can have
her half. Fricking bee. I didn't really know what to
say if I came back with, well, we do sell

(01:28:13):
protection plans for nine dollars and ninety nine cents if
anything happens it He interrupted with frick it. Add it
on there. Every dollar spent is one she can't have.
I hope he's all right. I probably caught him on
the worst day of his life. Got props from the
bosses for not only selling a chime at, but also
for the protection plan. I'm half cringing at the boss's

(01:28:35):
reaction and half wondering what would have happened if you'd
shown the customer your entire store catalog. I see a
lot of unsubstantiated accusations of child abuse and all molestation
to deteriorate the relationship between dad and the kids, and
we'll hire experts and therapists, and there will be an investigation.
We'll have depositions and a trial, and after a year

(01:28:57):
has passed without dad being allowed to see his childre
and thousands and thousands of dollars have been spent, it
will come out that nothing happened. This happens in my
practice about once or twice a year, very common. The
moment a parent is court doing that they should be
jailed and or banned from from guardianship. Sick Freakes have
a friend who went through a nasty divorce and his

(01:29:19):
ex was vengeful as heck, despite him having done nothing
wrong like cheating, lying, etc. Basically, he got laid off
from good job and the loss of status embarrassed her.
Especially as he took to being stay at home dad
and their kids adored him, never mind she had mba
and six figure job herself. She would buy expensive crap
on credit cards to show high expenses, then return it

(01:29:42):
for cash or store credits so that the refund didn't
go back on card. So that she could try to
get more support to just get a job, he took
one at home depot he'd been an engineer at a
tech company. Later on he landed an IT consulting position
that was part time but paid about what he he
made at h D working full time. She petitioned the

(01:30:03):
course to try and force him to have a full
time job, basically wanting to force him to spend thirty
more hours to learn same. The part of his custody
granted him dinner one night week with the kids i e.
Five seven pm. He asked for it to be school
pick up to seven pm instead, and she refused that,
even though from three to five they were at home
with a nanny who had to be paid for that

(01:30:24):
time while mom was at work worked at an airport.
Big Burley guy brings an ugly bous dog in a
crate of the counter. He is clearly misty eyed. Turns
out wife got the dog in the divorce and he
has to send it to her, and she told him
as soon as she gets that she is putting it down.
He asks if he can have some time with the
dog before the flight. So they go out in the

(01:30:45):
grass and they both roll around in the grass. Dog's
tail just wagon away, not knowing anything about his future.
The guy puts him back in the crate, drops him off.
The Countess says thanks, and then just walked out, head
down and just looking crushed. That was thirty years ago,
and ice she'll remember it like it was yesterday. I
worked in family courts when first starting out. The most

(01:31:06):
memorable case I saw with the woman took literally everything
out of the house. She ripped out the carpet seven
not a divorce lawyer bit. About fifteen years ago, I
handled two insurance claims for a man in his forties
or fifties who was getting divorced from his wife, who
was in her mid twenties. First, she filed a claim
on his auto policy. He was wealthy but had to

(01:31:29):
have a high risk auto policy due to menace speeding tickets.
She was not on his policy, saying that he crashed
into her car on purpose. The claim was denied because
there is no coverage for intentional acts. A couple of
weeks later, she files a claim on his homeowner's policy
saying that he stole her engagement ring, which was specifically

(01:31:49):
insured at a high amount like ten dollars K plus. Again,
she is not the policy holder and the ring wasn't stolen.
He just had possession of it, so there were there
no claim to be made. I wonder whatever happened with
that guy. Sounds like it's not his first rodeo. I
knew a guy that got out of the military at

(01:32:10):
nineteen years so his ex wouldn't get half his pension.
He would rather get nothing than give half the pension
to his ex if he stayed in one more year.
A friend's ex wife and he settled their divorce, with
her getting the house, a half tea chunk of retirement,
all the gifted jewelry, and his holly she had gifted
him for his birthday. A few weeks later, a robbery

(01:32:30):
occurred and the only thing that was stolen was the
jewelry that he had gifted her, which was intended for
their daughter. She tried to file an insurance claim on
the jewelry, but forgot to get appraisals and add his riders,
so the max insurance paid was one thousand, five hundred
dollars for over twenty thousand dollars of jewelry. Suspicion if
she staged it but is now stuck with stolen jewelry,

(01:32:52):
she can't legally sell, norwhere nor give to the daughter
without tipping the dad off to the scam divorce lawyer
accusing their former spouse of forcing them into prostitution. Text
messages revealed they were actually just swingers. She also admitted
to lying in order to make him burn. I can't
wait to leave my practice area. First, this is not

(01:33:14):
the most evil thing I have seen so far in practice.
It's just one of the things that sticks out in
recent memory. Second, in my experience, women don't have an
unfair advantage or get away with things more than men.
The reason this individual was not held in contempt was
because judges have an incredible amount of discretion, and they
tend to exercise their discretion sparingly. Unless someone is making

(01:33:36):
a fuss in the media or publicly lying in order
to ruin someone's life. The court avoids exercising their discretion
to punish individuals in a divorce context. The reason courts
are hesitant to impose penalties or hold someone in contempt
is because the majority of lying that happens in my
experience comes from victims who shield their abuses. Lots of men, women,

(01:33:58):
and children say things in them Men recand their testimony
in order to stay in abusive relationships or save themselves
and their families from threats of violence or retaligation. Victims
need to feel safe to tell the truth. Having penalties
gives the court a stick, and having discretion gives the
court a carot. Ultimately, we all want the truth, and
holding someone in contempt or threatening to hold someone on

(01:34:20):
contempt is one mechanism that helps us uncover the truth. Finally, women, men, judges, commissions,
and lawyers are all human beings. I've met humans who
act like monsters, and I've met angels dressed as humans.
My sincerest hope is that we treat others the way
we would want to be treated, and remember that we
all make mistakes. Yes, I charge for my services, and

(01:34:42):
my duty is to serve my clients to the best
of my ability. Some clients just want it all to end,
while others want to fight over the Kelee chain they
bought at Walmart five years ago. If that key chain
means a lot to my client, I explain how much
that key chain will actually cost them in the end
and let them decide of its work. I have met
attorneys who drag out litigation to run up fees. However,

(01:35:05):
any attorney worth their salt is consulting with their clients
and actively trying to bring about a speedy, fair resolution
that it seems like a super illegal accusation. Not a
divorce lawyer, but my grandma Sucker, her divorced lawyer. Before
she served her husband the papers, got pregnant, and then
convinced her husband it was his. He paid child support

(01:35:28):
for eighteen years and never had a clue. Pretty crappy.
The lawyer had a family of his own. They have
no idea. My mom and my family exist eighteen years,
eighteen years, and on her eighteenth birthday he found out
it wasn't his divorced reditors. What is the craziest thing
you or your former spouse did after divorce? My Extoller

(01:35:49):
carr and in eighteen months in state prison. Based on
what I was able to find online at the time.
He approached a car dealership and showed interest in buying
a vehicle. They allowed him to take it home for
a twenty four hour demo. He never returned it. They
reported it stolen after they attempted multiple times to contact
him to return it. They then contacted the state police,

(01:36:10):
who put a bowling out. They found him driving the
vehicle on the other side of the state, where he
thought he wouldn't be found. I found out when I
got an unexpected phone call from.

Speaker 1 (01:36:20):
The Sheriff's office.

Speaker 2 (01:36:21):
I asked why they were calling me about this. They
said my ex. I told them I would vouch for
him as a character witness. I told the officer over
the phone that my ex was a lying sack of
crap and shouldn't be trusted. The officer laughed, thanked me
for my time, and hung up. That mother somehow canceled
my Costco membership that I was still letting him mooch

(01:36:43):
off of for the gas discount. Frick that guy, wholly frick.
They are unhinged. This is the most egregious one. You
don't frick with my Costco membership. Here's a more wholesome
and true one. He had sun dinners with my mom
for many years after our divorce. He never had a
real mom long story, so I didn't mind sharing mine

(01:37:04):
as long as I didn't have to be there laundry list.
But my favorite was his sister sent a Facebook message
to all of his contacts the day of our separation,
including my family, before we announced anything. Her message stated
everyone should immediately delete me, and if I said anything
about why we separated, I was lying and not to listen. Basically,

(01:37:25):
this created a lot of curious questions and a lot
of laughs. Did you ever get her version and how
did it compare to reality? My ex wife told me
I could leave my stuff in our house while I
found somewhere else to stay. I assumed this was a
good will effort to keep things as amicable as possible
between us. When I went to get my crap, she

(01:37:45):
had burned it all, So that was rough if you
were legally married. Judges tend to take a pretty dim
view of that kind of behavior. She would stalk myra
did account and angrily text me if she didn't like
my posts talking about her cheating on me. I came
home from seeing my grandmother on her death bed and
found she had cheated. She also texted me accusing me

(01:38:08):
of sabotaging her attempts to get a job that requires
a security clearance. Apparently it was my fault and not
the fact she had already been denied a security clearance
for mental instability. I hope you've changed your number by now.
She removed the retaining clips from my windshield wipers, but
put the wipers back on the arms. First storm, after

(01:38:29):
I got my car back from her drive aside wiper
flew off the car on inter State forty. Good times,
her nickname is now Rainex kidnapped the kids during their
weekend visit and moved to a small town in the
next state over. It took me two years to.

Speaker 1 (01:38:45):
Get them back. I did get them back.

Speaker 2 (01:38:48):
She eventually burned all her bridges in the town she
moved and went home to her parents' house. Since her
parents were not pleased with her choices and were on
my side during the whole deal, they called me to
let me know where she was. I went and got them.
This was over twenty years ago, and they have both
grown up just fine. I've since remarried and my second
wife has been a wonderful mother to them. It took

(01:39:10):
a lot of work to fix all the damage, but
it's mostly okay. The biggest scars that lasted was that
my son has a distrust of women with authority that
he has worked really hard to get over. And my
daughter was afraid to start her own family because she
worries she would turn out just like her mom. She
finally got over that and is expecting our first grand
baby this fall. She called my company, talked her way

(01:39:34):
up the chain to the president of the company. Still
don't know how she managed that, but she's smart and
told him I was sicidal and had threatened to do
something drastic at work. Later I learned that she thought
this would be a roundabout way of getting my address,
which I didn't show with her after I moved out,
because she's batchet crazy. This was from even I was

(01:39:55):
a kid and my parents were going through a divorce.
My dad was a total sociop, manipulative, physically and emotionally abusive,
drug dealing the whole nine yards. Even my mom was
finally able to get out, he still had visitation rights.
His family kept on bugging my sister and me, still
under ten years old, to try to convince my mom

(01:40:17):
to talk to him. She finally did try to talk
to him when she came to pick us up at
the police station from where it was agreed to meet.
When he had his time with us, they immediately got
into an argument. He started throwing one of his temper tantrum,
grabbed my mom in front on a cop from the LAPD,
trying to beat her. Then the cop grabbed him. He
let go of my mom with a look of pure

(01:40:38):
terror on his face. I think that was the day
I realized he was sociopathic and didn't want anything else
to do with him and his crazy but bible thumping family.
When I told my ex husband I wanted a divorce.
The next day, after I went to work, he packed
our entire house into a U haul and put it
in storage. Even with the court order, he refused to

(01:40:59):
give my stuff back. I left my marriage with the
clothes on my back. Years later, he decided he was
above the courts because he got away with that, and
took our son across country, telling me he was moving
with one day notice and told me I couldn't do
anything about it. Of course, I promptly hired a lawyer
and we went back to court and he lost joint custody,
but it took a year of fighting, chasing him down

(01:41:21):
and not seeing my son. There are more stories, but
those are probably the worst. Mum's friend was getting divorced.
Wife was staying in the house, but left so the
husband could gather his things without her there. As he
moved out. While packing, he gave the dog a laxative
and locked her in the master bedroom. Poor girl had
explosive malamute diarrhea everywhere. She was so upset about her

(01:41:45):
accidents that she tried to dig through the door. That
dog was such a good girl. It broke my heart. Luckily,
the wife kept the dog and the husband was convicted
of animal abuse charges, which helped the wife keep custody
of the kids. Row After he realized I was never
going back, he told his mom that I had been
stealing from the family the whole.

Speaker 1 (01:42:06):
Time we were together.

Speaker 2 (01:42:07):
Then he literally put it in writing that I had
a key to his parents home and would sneak in
and take his dad's guns and his grandmother's jewelry, and
that he had been powerless to stop me. It was
always his drugy sister. Always anyone with eyes could see it,
but no one in the family wanted to believe it.
It's mind boggling how far people will stretch their own

(01:42:28):
reality for plausible deniability for someone they love who is
obviously a shitch. How called me and pretended he had
been hit by a car while we were talking. He
even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around
his body. God awful acting, but pretty funny listening to
him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying
to be inclusive. I guess I think he was trying

(01:42:49):
to get me to relive my traumav being on the
phone with a friend who actually had been hit by
a car while we were talking. Too bad. He didn't
realize that hearing the real thing is world's different than
hearing the dumbass try to act it out. My ex
fake jumping from the roof cause I broke up. He
was dedicated, though he actually dropped his dang phone and
then was mad that I didn't fall for it. Completely

(01:43:12):
ignored our three children for the last ten years while
living with a woman and her three children, did I
mention our oldest is is from a previous relationship who
I was awarded custody of, and he is her only
living biological parent stalked me for five years, would make
fake social media profiles to try to follow me, which

(01:43:33):
I would block endlessly, and would try to find where
I worked so she could talk to me. This lady
cheated on me with seven different men. Two months after
we were married, I kicked her but to the curb
and made her sign the court papers. When we had
our day in court, she cried in the judge's office
while I just wanted to get this crap done. After
my dad was with me and he threw fifty dollars

(01:43:54):
at her and told her to change your freaking last name.
Good guy, pops. I haven't seen or heard from her
in about five years, thank goodness. My ex husband started
dating his stepmom, who has been in his life since
he was eleven years old. His step moment him are
still together almost five years later. His stepmom confessed her

(01:44:14):
love of my ex to his dad a few years ago,
and they have since divorced. The dad is now dating
a twenty one year old I know all of this
because I'm still close friends with my ex husband's sister.
It's so messed up, and I'm so grateful I left
him when I did.

Speaker 1 (01:44:29):
Dang.

Speaker 2 (01:44:30):
I didn't know Pornhug was setting up their own cinematic
universe while we were still married. She gets pregnant with
the guy she was cheating on me with, who is
also married.

Speaker 1 (01:44:40):
To someone else.

Speaker 2 (01:44:41):
She has this idea that he's going to leave his
wife and they're going to get married. She got a
lawyer and filed for divorce. I get a lawyer too.
The only thing is that he works for his wife's father,
who is setting him up to take over when daddy retires.
He realized that getting a divorce means his cushy career
is overf essses everything to his wife and begs for

(01:45:02):
her forgiveness. His wife takes him back, and he cuts
off my wife, seeing that her dreams of living with
her bfr over. She claims that I'm the father, which
is impossible because by that time we hadn't had sex
for more than a year before conception. This does not
stop her from telling everyone who will listen.

Speaker 1 (01:45:20):
That it's my kid.

Speaker 2 (01:45:21):
She has her lawyer drop the divorce proceedings. I tell
my lawyer to start them with me as the plaintiff,
and that I want to dispute paternity.

Speaker 1 (01:45:29):
I move out.

Speaker 2 (01:45:30):
She starts stalking me, shows up at my job and
tries to get in. I work as a civilian in
R and D at a military base. The MPs do
not take any of her crap and wind up detaining
her when she tries to run past the gate. She
calls me at work to bail her out or something.
I tell her that whatever she's done, it's not my
problem and hang up. I also was able to get

(01:45:51):
her restraining order, which she violated repeatedly. She asked for everything,
both cars, the entire house and contents, savings, my retirement account, etc.
Plus seven years of spousal support. I offered no support
and half off of the assets. If she wanted to house,
she'd have to buy me out and refinance in her

(01:46:12):
name only. When the kid was born. She tried to
put my name on the birth certificate anyway, but I
had already successfully disputed paternity, so that didn't go over well.
She had to go after love a boy who was
definitely less than happy to see her. In the end,
we split the assets fifty stroke fifty, sold the house,
and she got no spousal support. I don't know if

(01:46:34):
she was able to get money for the kid from
love a boy or not. She called me a few
times after the divorce, wanting to get together and talk.
The calls were in violation of the restraining order, but
I never reported it. About six months after the divorce
was final, I was offered a new job on the
other side of the country. I took it and never
told anyone outside of my family where I was going.

(01:46:57):
Almost all of our friends believed her when she claim
the baby was mine and made me out to be
the butthole, so I didn't really feel the need to
tell them anything. Life is better now. Glad to hear
life is better, dude, You are a strong human. All
I wanted was custody of my son. I gave her
everything else except one of our cars. She fought me

(01:47:18):
through five hearings.

Speaker 1 (01:47:20):
I won.

Speaker 2 (01:47:21):
She never came to see him again. Sounds like you
and your son got lucky. I hope everything works out
for you both. Not me, but my grandparents got divorced
when my mom was about seventeen.

Speaker 1 (01:47:34):
In their legal battle.

Speaker 2 (01:47:35):
They worked out that they would each get fifty stroke
fifty of the cell off specific shared assets. There was
an old junkie car and a fairly new RV. My
Grandpa sold the RV in the car for one dollar each.
He handed my grandma a buck in court. Oh maybe
those Craigslist tads I see are legit. Then she got
custody of our three kids, got seventy percent of my

(01:47:58):
take home pay for child support, requiring me to move
into the barracks I was in the USAF Then she
immediately moved out of state without telling me, despite the
divorce decree requiring my consent, all but guaranteeing I would
have no contact with my kids. That's not the crazy part.
The crazy part is just a few years later, she
decided she didn't want to be a mother anymore, so

(01:48:21):
she signed up with a carnival I think she had
the hearts for one of the ride operators and left
the girls on their own without telling me or the
girls beforehand. She called my oldest daughter a few days
after leaving to tell her to call me. They hadn't
called me before that because they had apparently grown accustomed
to their mother disappearing for days at a time. Final

(01:48:43):
straw that led to the divorce, got drunk and drove
her car into the middle of the dessert, sent her
friend a picture of the GPS and said I didn't
love her, so I wouldn't come and look for her.
She wouldn't answer Michaels, but kept calling her friends, saying
I didn't care. I looked for two hours before going
back home because I needed to work in the morning.

(01:49:03):
She came home and started banging things around and came
into our room and threw her phone at me, saying
I didn't love her, punched me in the face multiple times,
and went to jail. After I filed for divorce, she
lost it. CPS wouldn't let her kids stay at the
house because of the DV charge against her, so they
stayed at her parents. She purposely stayed at the house

(01:49:23):
so that I.

Speaker 1 (01:49:24):
Couldn't see my kids.

Speaker 2 (01:49:25):
I refused to be alone with her after for fear
that she would hurt herself and blame me, so I
always went to the house with someone if I needed anything.
She got tired of this and decided to just remove
everything from the house while I was at work. I
mean everything that wasn't in my kids' bedrooms. She took
out of the house, curtains, sealing fans, all of the
furniture minus the dining table that I don't think she

(01:49:48):
had room for. I thought, well, this sucks, but at
least she's gone, so I changed the locks. She broke
in and stole the locks the next day while I
was at work, left nothing but the holes in the
doors to swing open, and the wind took the window locks,
cut a power cord to the garage door opener, took
the blender that I borrowed from my mom, and poppy
air mattress that I borrowed to sleep on. Then she

(01:50:10):
flipped off the main breaker to the house. Swore to
the judge that someone else must have done it, not me,
but my soul. His ex wife got married a few
days after receiving the court's final decision on the annulment
of marriage case. In our country, we don't have divorce. Well, okay,
he has moved on already. Now her new husband plans

(01:50:31):
to have his marriage to her announce too.

Speaker 1 (01:50:33):
Edit. Hey, this blew up.

Speaker 2 (01:50:36):
Yes, we are in the Philippines, so fricking hard to
get an annulment here. I wish we could have divorce
where parties can end their marriage in amicable terms. Killed
or euthanized. Our dog then lied about that he died
of natural causes. Given the dog was old and blind,
but be pleaded that she wanted a weekend with him,
and then the next night sent me a fake text

(01:50:58):
that he passed away during the night at Life three
a m. Because he coughed and then just stopped breathing.
That crap wasn't true. I found out later after finding
and calling the vet she brought him to that she
bad mouthed me about in that he was suffering and
needed to be put to sleep because he was in
agony and I was supposedly letting him suffer. She had
him out to sleep like the day. She took him home,

(01:51:19):
like three hours afterwards. Never got to say goodbye due
to that.

Speaker 1 (01:51:23):
Bee. This is awful.

Speaker 2 (01:51:25):
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. What
a crap person kidnapped my three boys from my house
when I went on my first post divorce date. Our
loved and trusted Babasaiter was with them. I left dinner
ready and kids bathed and already in their jammys, left
for the movie theater when I got a text from
my babasiter that she was sorry for not doing the

(01:51:46):
dishes after dinner, so I texted back that okay, I
can do dishes. Later, but you've got a couple hours
as well. The movie hasn't started yet. She was at
home as my ex husband had shown up. Lyden said
he was supposed to have at night and that I
had said it was okay.

Speaker 1 (01:52:02):
I was livid.

Speaker 2 (01:52:03):
I knew he was a bit crazy, but I had
no idea he was capable of this. I stepped out
of the theater called him, and he said, if you
are going to be dating strangers and endangering the lives
of my kids, I will take them. WTF. So I
called the police. They did the report, we went to court,
and he was found in contempt for violating our parenting plan.

(01:52:25):
We remained on good terms and still celebrate holidays and
birthdays as a family. His two youngest kids with his
current wife call me Aunt, and my youngest calls him
uncle mad respect. So many people go insane during after divorce.
It says a lot about you that you have handled
it well and kept your relationships intact. He had his

(01:52:46):
law enforcement officer friends run my new boyfriend. One of
their wives told me when I called her to offer
my support when I heard she and her husband were
getting divorced as well. This absolutely terrifies me. He basically
got everything, house, car, furniture. I just wanted out. Two
years later, he is broken, homeless, wanted to get back together. Sorry,

(01:53:10):
but heck no. My ex has done a crap ton
of weird stuff, thankfully most of it not aimed at me.
While we were separated and working on our divorce, he
would come wind to me about relationship issues with my cousin,
with whom he'd had an affair in for whom he
left me. Mind you, he'd moved in with not just
her but her common law husband, and then was upset

(01:53:32):
by how many other boyfriends she had. This is my
cousin who has more babadudies than she has babies. Two
of her offspring are simultaneously half brothers and cousins. She's
never been known for her monogamy. In other words, Bill,
he claimed to have been in love with her since
they were children, and this was magically supposed to make
her return his affections. Among the best witnessed from the

(01:53:54):
distant bits of this nonsense were him getting jealous of her,
visiting her husband and running her off the road in
his work, and generally hanging around screwing her instead of
taking jobs to the extent that there were trainees making
more money than he was after he'd been there more
than a year, and he was eventually invited to resign
or be fired. Then there was the time he was
doing armed security and angry at out taking our children

(01:54:17):
on a first date to lost him. He expected to
be allowed to stay over at this woman's apartment with
his children and her children, and she was rightly horrified
at the whole thing didn't go over well. Had an
argument with his girl friend at the time not my cousin,
but the ex wife of a different cousin, and drove
to her house in his work Viahican, his work Viahican,
his work Viahican. This resulted in a firing, a restraining order,

(01:54:41):
and loss of his right to carry a gun. Then
there was the girlfriend who insisted that if he really
loved her, he'd move into the homeless shelter with her,
So he fabricated being kicked out of his parents' house
and spent the requisite months leaping outside on the shelter.
His patire before intake, then spent years longer than the
relationship living in the shelter, only finally leaving to move

(01:55:02):
in with a woman he'd met a month earlier after
ostentatiously asking our children's permission. As you can imagine, they
felt they had no choice. Basically, it's been thirteen years
of wheeling from one relationship to the next, all overlapping,
and the kids pulled into them from the very first second.
He's currently trying desperately to find another girlfriend to move

(01:55:23):
in with, as the current one is kicking him out
to move to Virginia with a new boyfriend of her own.
This after some time of subjecting the kids still out
arguments over his pea addiction and their dead sex life,
and naturally blaming me for the fact that his two
oldest children both refused to talk to him at all.
Two of my shortcomings as a wife, by the way,
were being too classy he quoted Confederate Railroad to me,

(01:55:47):
and not providing the drama he felt requisite in a relationship.
Who Well, I'm happy for him that he finally got
the drama he needed, but feel sorry for your kids
and you. My divorce was pretty Amaica, but a previous
boyfriend took one of each pair of my pats and socks,
so I had no matching pairs. Wife cheated on me

(01:56:08):
when I confronted her. She grabbed a kitchen knife and
threatened me. I told her to go ahead. She put
it in my chest, just deep enough to draw blood
and cut down to my belly button. I hit her
on top of her head. She fell to the ground.
I left, and after signing papers, never saw her again.
It's been twenty four years now. Thank you for the awards.

(01:56:30):
Peeves had no idea my idiot marriage at twenty years
old would be the topic with the most up votes.
Those twelve months are full of good stories looking back.
We were living in a different state and she wanted
to move back to her home state a year into
our marriage. But I really had nothing tying me down
in that state, so I was down for moving if

(01:56:51):
that's really what she wanted. It had been about six
months into the move and she cheats on me with
a co worker while I was working full time and
trying to finish up my bachelor's degree. She tells me
that she didn't feel the same way about me and
that she needed to move out to do some thinking.
It's driving me insane trying to think about what could
have gone wrong. I had a suspicion about that coworker,

(01:57:13):
but I didn't have any proof. I checked our phone
account online and sure enough, they were talking every night
after work while I was out working. I followed her
one time and sure enough, she was going to this
guy's house. I confronted her about it and she finally
fessed up, so they continued dating. After we finally divorced
and I was able to move on with my life.

(01:57:33):
She ends up getting pregnant by this guy and he
disappears before their baby was even born. Calmer definitely came
back to bite her after the heck she put me
through all alone in a new state with no friend's
family around. Prior to divorce, he established a patron of
asking me to sleep with someone else, usually MFF threesomes,
usually friends of his mine, hours getting increasingly demanding moody

(01:57:57):
until I conceded, then reacting with extra dam insecurity, jealousy, possessiveness,
and need for reassurance afterwards, until it happened again. It
destroyed me as well as all of my in person friendships,
and I still don't understand why he needed to go
through that psychodorym over and over all, why I didn't
leave sooner. To clarify, there is nothing wrong with swinging

(01:58:19):
polygamory or ethical non monogamy, but he really just wanted
a non demand peace service and couldn't take no foreign
answer and could not stand the thought of ME having
feelings for anyone other than him, yet consistently thought I
was waiting to cheat on him or abandon him. But
shortly before I filled for divorce, he broke into my
apartment twice, once because he wasn't done talking, and then

(01:58:42):
because the apartment complex director told him I couldn't legally
kick him out of the apartment, sexually assaulted me while
I was sleeping, called the cops and DCF because I
blocked him on Messenger after close to twenty four hours
of non stop texting from him, and chose to publicly
throw a couple of punches, a couple of pus punches,
a couple of punches, a couple of punches, a couple

(01:59:02):
of punches, a couple of punches, a couple of punches,
a couple of punches, a couple of punches, a couple
Then he assaulted me in the backyard while refusing to leave,
and told the police I had attacked him. I filled
a restraining order and divorce on the same day. Four
months after our divorce was finalized and he was granted
full custody of our three kids for every school vacation,

(01:59:24):
he decided to move half way across the country to
live with his mother. She's still taking care of him.
His kids are particularly interested in talking to him and
haven't seen him in over a year. I offered to
pay for him to stay here over the summer so
he could see them, but he said nap. This is
a fair reflection of his level of engagement with his
kids prior to divorce.

Speaker 1 (01:59:44):
Two.

Speaker 2 (01:59:45):
I don't doubt that he loves them, but he rarely
chooses to spend time with them because it's stressful. The cops, lawyers,
offers of child support, employees, and the judge have all
responded the same way to his endless victim. Spiel attired
a roll of the eyes. He continues to think his
situation is everyone else's fault and totally unique. He follows

(02:00:07):
me here and has quoted some of my posts in court. Hi,
brian Eta, thanks for the up votes. Let me know
if you've had a similar experience. He's texted to call
me a lying w yet again. I've invited him to
respond here or please quit stalking my social media as
I've asked or accept that. We have different ideas of

(02:00:28):
how things went. But we'll see. Stop stalking your ex
and go get a life. Rayan divorced Men and Women
of Redit. What was the final straw when she refused
to go back to marriage counseling because he makes me
feel wicked, because I won't stop seeing the other guy,
there's pretty much nothing left to say. I think pocaman

(02:00:49):
Go was the final straw. We weren't married, but together
for eight years with a kid. He had trouble keeping
a job and hadn't had a full time job in
nine months. He worked part time, lost his job and
had some bull crab story. I think he was showing
up late and tired from staying up all night playing
pock him and go downtown all night. She was three
months pregnant and I was five months out to sea, man,

(02:01:13):
you've got some strong swimmers. My father died in Asia.
Last minute I had to bohold to his funeral packing
my bags. She lay there in bed and said, I
feel like you're just going on vacation. This was really upsetting.
After his funeral Buddhist where I had to clean his weak,
old black and blow zombie faced with palms and coconut oil.

(02:01:35):
Watch him dowst in gas from a jerry can and
get set on fire with fireworks from a Once she
called me and started lighting me up about our credit
card debt and told me I shouldn't care so much
because he was a crap father.

Speaker 1 (02:01:47):
Anyway.

Speaker 2 (02:01:48):
The next day I had to pick his bones out,
put them in an urn, dress his ashes and clothes
after shaping them into the shape of a body, and
dropped his ashes into a hole in a trash ridden
and marked grave in a small jungle wood there. Carrying
his ashes to the jungle, for some reason, gave me
enough of an existential jolt to think, what the frick
am I doing. Took a year of deliberation, but I

(02:02:09):
finally decided I deserved a more supportive partner. When my
apartment neighbor asked me how I was okay with all
of that? Okay with what? Oh? With being in an
open marriage? I'm sorry, what now come again? Yet she
told us you guys were in an open marriage when
we saw her bringing guys home to your house while

(02:02:29):
you were working. I'm sorry, what now come again?

Speaker 1 (02:02:33):
Awkward? Silence.

Speaker 2 (02:02:35):
Well, thanks for letting me know, or I'd still be
in the dark about this whole open marriage thing. I
caught her emailing him real estate listings. They were apparently
shopping online for a house together. When I realized that
both my sons spoke to me in the same unpleasant,
dismissive tone as my husband did. When my ten years

(02:02:56):
old asked me why I told them every day that
Daddy was crossing to try to keep out of his way.
When I saw how much better he treated one child
than the other, I hadn't realized all those things had
become my normal.

Speaker 1 (02:03:08):
Somehow.

Speaker 2 (02:03:09):
Not having accessed our money had become unremarkable. Being undermined
and belittled in front of others was to be tolerated.
I had no idea how much I worked to keep
the piece and placate. I felt so guilty when it
dawned me how much they were absorbing his behaviors and
seeing them as normal. I woke up and saw my
life with my old, single, independent eyes and was both

(02:03:29):
aghast and ashamed. I never ever would have believed my
life would become the mess it had. The thing is
mostly in other people didn't see it. He never socialized
with people I knew, and his friends think he is great.
Even my mum thinks I exaggerate and should put up
and shut up. I feel so isolated, but I refused
to put up with this crap any longer. My kids

(02:03:50):
deserve an emotionally healthy example of relationships and love. When
one of my husband's men and girl friends actually came
up to me, apologized and said he told me that
you knew about me and that you had an open marriage.
I was already planning on leaving him because of the infidelities.
She just made me move all that much faster. She

(02:04:11):
told me she was pregnant with another man's baby. Pretty
easy decision. Husband was out of town on a business trip.
I had a surgery scheduled for the same time. Had
the surgery and there were complications. It was supposed to
be a day surgery and I should have been home
that evening. Ended up in the IKU for two days,
in the hospital for four more. My friend called my

(02:04:33):
now ex husband and told him that I almost died
and was in ikup when he needed to come home.
His reply, well, she didn't die, so I'll be home
when my business trip is over. After he got home
and I got home from the hospital. He was nice
enough to leave the hotel in voice on our addresser,
a room with two occupants. She wanted to move back

(02:04:54):
to her home country. My visa was denied, and that
was that. When I talked his girlfriend on the phone
and she didn't know he was married. When she threatened
divorce in a very sensitive argument, I paused, agreed, and
stuck to it. There were two things that stuck in
my mind I just couldn't get past. But it was

(02:05:15):
a lot of different things. I guess these two were
the nails in the coffin. One birthday dinner for my
father in law. Five minutes before we are leaving for dinner,
me ex tells me, oh, dinner is just for our
immediate family. I thought I was his family. It was
very heartbreaking.

Speaker 1 (02:05:33):
Two.

Speaker 2 (02:05:34):
I spent a month caring for my dying grandmother, one
of the most treasured people in my life. I was
exhausted and devastated by the time she passed. I don't
even remember the conversation, just his response of I really
need your support right now. Your Grandma's death really messed
me up. I realized I was alone in my marriage
and that it wasn't ever going to change. I had

(02:05:55):
to walk away from my own health and sanity. If
your husband doesn't consider you immediate family, then he doesn't
understand what marriage is. He tried to kill my eight
month old kitting by throwing it through a wall in
our apartment. His reason, the little buttole wouldn't stop me owing.
I hope your kitten is okay. Also, you dodged a

(02:06:16):
huge fricking bullet. I was working night shift. She cheated
on me with five men that she met on Tinder
and fricking Craig's List. After I downloaded the contents of
her phone, I found she was talking to eighteen and
fricking five.

Speaker 1 (02:06:30):
So y are divorced?

Speaker 2 (02:06:33):
Picked up my ex wife's cell phone and dialed the
last number called. It was her boyfriend, which I knew
she had. I walked over to my ex and put
the phone on speaker, confronted him in front of her,
and they both just laughed. I told her, let's see
if that guy comes to your rescue when you really
need or if you're just her booty call. I brought
in one hundred percent of our income, which made it

(02:06:54):
extra satisfying when I made the final exit out of
the driveway, I asked her how they were doing, an
she hadn't heard from him since that day. I've related
the story on rid It before, but my exit I
had separated over her cheating, and while I was considering options,
she shot the family dog. She didn't take the dog
out back and give it a bowl of food and

(02:07:15):
put it down. She was laying in the bed, looked
over at the dog and decided it needed to be dead,
so she shot it right there in the bed next
to her. After that, she took everything she could out
of the house, but left the blood stained mattress. So
my abusive husband never hit, just accidentally stepped on my
foot hard, accidentally ran into me and I hit the wall,

(02:07:37):
accidentally pushed me down the stairs, et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera. Final straw was when he accidentally shoved my daughter,
not his child. When I told him if he ever
touched my child again, I would kill him. He got
a restrainer order against me. No problem, But with no job,
all I had was a paid off car worth twenty thousand,

(02:07:57):
So I found an apartment, got furniture, and a job.
All the while he's begging me to come back. Not
going to happen. With no one left to abuse, the
son of a bee jumped off a bridge and killed himself.
After a few years of horrible guilt and a ton
of prozac, I am finally doing super great when Maiak
started threatening me and physically assaulting me in front of

(02:08:19):
my kid. He also threatened to kill me if I
were left, and I believed him. Fortunately, I suppose he
was also sleeping around and found the perfect woman. So
then he filed for divorce on the fast track and
actually gave me a pretty decent deal on the property
settlement custardy agreement. Convincing our children to drink their own urine,

(02:08:39):
he decided to practice urine therapy, and I was disgusted
and started to prepare for divorce. But when he got
the kids involved, I immediately knew it was over behinding
plane tickets and hotel reservations to go meet some duty
had been chatting with online. Turns out the guy wasn't
the fishing boat owning a lascun adventurer he claimed. He
turned out to be a part time theater ticket take

(02:09:02):
her for a movie theater, living in his mom's basement.
He got blind drunk at his birthday party and was
trying to start fights, etc. So I got him home,
had the presence of mine to hide the khr keys
in the dryer. He wanted to go back out, so
tore the whole house apart looking for them, threatened me
with a kitchen knife when I wouldn't give up their location.

(02:09:24):
So yeah, marriage, good times. I was going to get
yelled at no matter what I did. Did the laundry,
get yelled for not folding the towels correctly, let her
do the laundry, get yelled for not doing the laundry.
The final straw was I was sent to the grocery
store for French cut green beans. They had French style

(02:09:45):
green beans and cut style green beans. I spend more
time than I care to admit scrutinizing the green bean aisle.
I finally realized that green beans are forty cents, and
I'm not taking an ass chewing over forty cents. I
bought both through my laptop on the floor, which caused
the screen to break. I took the laptop into the
bedroom to inspect it. I brought it back out to

(02:10:07):
show it to her. She accused me of breaking the screen,
whilstn't the first thing of mine she broke, nor the
first time she made a ridiculous accusation. I was in
a seriously neglectful and abusive verbal, psychological, not physical marriage
for the better part of ten years. I tried everything
that I could to try and fix it, and even

(02:10:28):
though I was the one with the complaints, I still
went into marriage counseling for two years and said I
will do anything I can to try and change to
make this better or to try and fix it. She
would go into marriage counseling every single week and say
the same thing, I want him to accept me as
I am. In other words, she didn't want to change
in any way. She didn't want to compromise in any way.

(02:10:50):
She wanted me to accept being neglectful and abusive person
that she had become. I should mention here that she
is a severe narcissist. But the final straw, I had
never even consider divorce or separation. It never even crossed
my mind.

Speaker 1 (02:11:04):
For me.

Speaker 2 (02:11:05):
We were married for life and we just needed to
figure out how to fix it. But one day in
marriage counseling, when I was talking about something that she
had done that was hurtful, She blurted out, I think
we should just consider separating. I was completely shocked and
flawed by this. I never even imagined it. And in
that moment, I realized that it was always me chasing her.
For ten years, I've been chasing her. She's always running away.

(02:11:28):
She never apologized ever for anything. She would get away
with the most heinous behavior and I would crawl back
to her and apologize and keep the relationship going. And
I realized that moment that anytime things got tough, she
would scream separation or divorce or run away, and that
is no way to live her. Good relationship takes two
people that genuinely want to be in a relationship and

(02:11:48):
are both willing to put in the work for that
relationship and both willing to compromise.

Speaker 1 (02:11:53):
For each other. This was not the case.

Speaker 2 (02:11:55):
This was a one sided relationship which is always going
to be doomed. And so I find finally mustered up
the courage after she said that and made the decision
to walk away. Everyone deserves happiness, and I just didn't
want to live without the rest of my life like
that anymore. He married someone else while he was married
to me, final straw. I think that straw is illegal.

(02:12:18):
She decided she loved her girl friend, who was also married,
more than she loved me and our new baby. She
left for the girl friend, who subsequently left her husband
and kids too. Both families ended up divorced. Both women
lost the kids. They broke up a few months later,
shot adnfrud. My mother in law left her husband after

(02:12:39):
he bought her a compost bin for her birthday. She
didn't want to be married or a mom anymore. She
also wanted to see other people. I showed her the
door and she ran like a bat out of heck
left me and the kids. All I had to do
to get custody was keep paying her cell phone bill
and car payment. This was pretty much all she cared about,

(02:13:00):
tootling bad. That was not part of the divorce agreement.
I stopped paying the day after the divorce was final.
She filed for divorce and then fled to another state.
While temporarily separated from my dad. My mom had to
unexpectedly leave the city and left my brother and I
with her elder sister, super Sweet Lady with the Heart

(02:13:20):
of Gold. My mom had tried to contact my father,
but wasn't able to get hold of him and left
a message at his work and verbally told his parents.
My dad was mad that we weren't left in his
care and filed for divorce that week. He wanted a
legal agreement that could be enforced in order to guarantee
that he got the time with his kids that he
felt he deserved, So his reason to file for divorce,

(02:13:42):
despite my parents trying to work things out at a time,
was that he thought a divorce would give him more
time with his kids, and on his own terms, that
wasn't the long or short term outcome. The catch here
is the reason my mom left town that week was
in order to take care of my dad's sister and
her kids. My aunt was suffering from depression and her
husband had to take a work trip and was worried

(02:14:02):
about leaving her alone with the kids, so my mom
dropped everything and went there. My dad knew all of this,
as it was communicated to his parents. My aunt's attempted
suicide while my mom was there, and luckily my mom
was able to intervene and save her life. So my
mom was saving my dad sister's life while my dad
was filing for divorce. This story has been corroborated by

(02:14:24):
both my parents. It wasn't the final straw, but it
was the first time divorce was mentioned, and it was
the first time we admitted openly that we both wanted out.
We were playing the and D type board game and
his character walked into a trapid set and took a
massive amount of damage. He tried to institute his own
version of take backsies, and when I refused because we

(02:14:45):
were adults and he was cheating, he knocked the game
board over and yelled, that's it. That's the straw that
broke the camel's back. I wanted divorce. Sadly, We worked
things out and continued on through more miserable years until
I eventually called it quit due to his online dating
and his controlling behavior. That game still has a special
place in my heart. Though I had just had my

(02:15:08):
car repaired and repainted following his wrecking of the front
end in a careless accident, he took it for a
middle of the night joy ride with his pot supply
of body while I slept unawares. He managed to accomplish
the following one double parked in front of known drug
dealer's house, two caught the attention of a cop in
a clearly marked SUV. Three drove two miles with cop

(02:15:31):
following with lights and siren on. Four finally noticed carp
and engaged in high speed chase. Five totaled my car
by crashing through a corn field and into a thricking tractor.
Six ran from the scene, leaving an injured drug buddy behind.
Seven concocted a deiotic scheme whereby he would pretend to
have been carjacked. Eight stabbed self in the chest with

(02:15:54):
a goddamned pocket knife to lend credence to sit scheme.
Nine suffered collapsed lungrak, quiring hospitalization followed by arrest. Ten
did not get visited in either hospital or jail by
soon to be ex wife. I didn't give a dang
what happened to him, but I cried like a baby
over the loss of my car. For about three months already.

(02:16:16):
He would only be home for ten minutes after I
got home from work, just long enough to say hi
to me and our infant son before taking off to
party with friends. Until God knows when. The final straw
when when he thought it was acceptable to disappear for
the entire weekend and get mad at me when I
went looking for him. He had a seizure disorder and schizophrenia,
so when he went missing in the past happened multiple times.

(02:16:39):
I had to go looking for him to ensure he
was safe. Oh but frick me for worrying. Good riddance
when she set me on fire. I still am dealing
with trust issues. And this is over six years ago.
You think your entire life together is going great. Just god,
a puppy, new car and moving into an apartment we
never dreamed we could get. She's finishing up classes at

(02:17:02):
a four year college. We've been high school sweetheart since
ninth grade, so over seven years together. Not even six
months into being married, we go out to dinner and
all is going great. Not even thirty minutes into the meal,
she starts to get very emotional but won't say why.
Concerned and worried for my wife. I excuse us and
head home. Mind you, this entire time I had and

(02:17:24):
everyone else thought things were going incredibly well. I felt
on top of the world with our lives. I just
don't find you attractive anymore. When I walked down the
aisle six months ago, I kept repeating to myself. Don't
do it, don't do it. But I couldn't let you down.
There's someone at my work who just gives me the
attention I need, and I'm really attracted to him. We've

(02:17:45):
spent some time together. Now this isn't one of those
he didn't see the little things adding up, or he's
only telling one side oft of the story type situations.
The rug and earth was ripped out from beneath me.
Her family and friends all tried to talk to her,
and her parents apologized profusely. No one had a clue
or believed it at first. I crashed at a friend's
place and continued to try and talk to her about

(02:18:08):
it and about seeing a counselor.

Speaker 1 (02:18:10):
She refused.

Speaker 2 (02:18:11):
I told her that both of us need to see
someone together as well as individually. Still refused and called
me and buttole for suggesting it. In retrospect, it's the
best thing that has happened to me. I was able
to focus on myself and I met my current amazing wife,
and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. And now
we have started a family and have a little girl.

(02:18:32):
That fear of my entire world flipping upside down is
still there and those trust issues have taken so long
to work through many issues. The final straw was when
his mother criticized me yet again in front of the
entire family. When we were alone, I pointed this out
to my now ex husband. He told me, you are
just going to have to get used it and get

(02:18:53):
over it. We are married now, there's nothing you can
do about it. He saw nothing wrong with how his
family pre me, and I refused to live the rest
of my life being treated like that. Physical and emotional abuse,
loss of consortium, and finally, the painful punch to the
gut when you finally need your spouse for the first
time in a decade and find out she's not there

(02:19:15):
for you at all in any context. He got syphilis
from a prostitute while I was working in the Arctic.
When he told me that we were too young when
we met twenty one and that he never got to
live a bachelor lifestyle, he wanted to take a break
so that he could date around and get it out
of his system, then we would get back together. This

(02:19:36):
happened about a month after we got married, lived together
nine years, married for six months. Marriage only lasted so
long because he realized that he wasn't attracting the dime
pieces he thought he would have dragged his feet signing paperwork.
Divorce lawyers of radit, what's the most outrageous reason someone
filed for divorce? My aunt was dating an unemployed dude

(02:19:57):
for a while. He was staying in her house rent free.
They got married and were getting ready to go on
the Hannah Moon. When the new husband tells her he's
not going because he has to take care of his
plants to the house. Big fight. Aunt goes on the
Honahmoon with her sisters instead. She comes home and tries
to kick him out of her house. He refuses to leave.
She tries to get the police involved. Dudas lives streaming

(02:20:21):
on Facebook how he is being trapped in his own home.
Police tell my aunt there is basically nothing they can do.
Can file for a viction after a divorce, dude gets
to live in her house with his precious plants for
like three months until everything legally gets worked out. Paralegal.
A couple got divorced over a cat. Wife called cat

(02:20:41):
Snowball because of white fur and only wanted the cat
to eat wet food or chicken breast. Husband called cat
lily a game because of white fur, and believed it
should only eat dry food. These two argued for a
year over custody of the cat, but did not give
a crap about their human kids, aged fifteen months, four years,
and six years old. Not a lawyer, but I have

(02:21:03):
been aching to tell this story for a while. So
this girl I went to school with marries this rich
guy from Ohio. She moves in with him and they
seem to get along well. Six months later she files
for divorce. Up to that point, all I've heard from
Hope was how good it was going. Anyways, it turns
out how buddy had a fetish for urine. He asked

(02:21:23):
her to urinate on him in the tub. At first,
she agrees to it as she thought it was a
one time thing, but he kept asking for it more
and more. She tried to decline it respectfully, but he
wouldn't get any of the hints. She finally used the
tub being too small as a reason. Next day, she
comes home with two dozen construction guys in their heavy
equipment tearing the bathroom walls. A week or so later,

(02:21:46):
they finish up the bathroom. She comes home to her
sign left on the fridge with a note to drink up.
She got some watering to do. I don't know what
exactly she put down as the official reason in the paperwork,
but that was definitely her biggest reason to walk out
of that relationship. Oh I forgot to add. He also
wanted to bring a horse to do the deed as well,
and at times asked her to make animal sounds while

(02:22:08):
she stood on top of him. My aunt had a
case where the wife had glued all of the outdoor
hoses together so he will spend more time washing his
vehicle anymore. When the glue didn't work, she just cut
them all up when he bought new ones. A filed
for divorce. My nineteen year old client, the husband and
his son, retained me to initiate divorce proceedings with his

(02:22:31):
eighty eight year old wife. They'd been married sixty years.
The wife had recently taken to beating him with his
own cane because their daughter poisoned her into thinking he
was hiding money from them. The battle came down to
husband and son versus wife and daughter. At their first
court appearance, my client showed up in an old nineteen
fifties style pinstriped suit and fidderer. He was a farmer

(02:22:53):
his whole life and this was clearly the only suit
he owned. He was such a meek and lovely old gentleman.
I had to pass my client onto a new lawyer
midway through the proceedings because I accepted a job in
a different country. But I understand the divorce was eventually granted.
This one hurts. Imagine spending that much of your life
with someone and then it breaks Sixty years is no joke.

(02:23:16):
I would have been devastated. Colleague handled a case where
money was not an issue, but the kids were neither
parent wanted them. My mom worked in abuse and neglect
counseling and juvenile justice. There are a lot more cases
like this than I'd care to admit. Parents divorce and
neither side wants a kid. Some of them are that
neither side wants one kid but will fight over another kid.

(02:23:39):
It ends up totally screwing them over because they have
to live with the fact that their parents didn't want them.
I represented a p actress webcam model who filed for
divorce from her husband, who also did the pea webcam
model business. He would do gay pee on the side
because the pay was better. She was hesitant about it,
but dealt with it because the pay was decent. Both

(02:24:01):
sides had an agreement that it wasn't cheating as long
as it was for work. One day, she came home
early and found her husband in bed with two men
they were not filming. That was too much for her.
Needless to say, the old conservative judge couldn't wrap his
head around this one. I'm imagining explaining the situation to
my grandfather and am having a hard time because I

(02:24:22):
think he would have a stroke before I finished explaining.
When I clerked for a judge, we had a week
long divorce trial between a couple. The husband was a
wildlife photographer and the wife was a stay at home
wife no kids, who helped remodel the home. Anyway, husband
was mauled by a grizzly bear he was photographing, spent

(02:24:43):
several months in the hospital and rehabbened with serb papers.
Shortly after getting out, now without an eye and with
severe scarring on his face and side, she wanted half
of everything, the non scarred half, at least. Not a
divorce lawyer, but I had a friend whose parents divorce
for a reconcilable differences over time spent playing at Irquest.

(02:25:04):
In my game design class, it was referred to as
a vercrack. My dad was a divorce lawyer. He had
a client who wanted to divorce her husband for two reasons.
One he did not have enough hair on his chest.
Two he did not drive fast enough. Keep in mind
this was in the seventis when chest hair was a
bit more important. Crap, Yet, it would have been embarrassing

(02:25:27):
to show up later at a pool party and your
man not having a decent chest bush. My grandfather's brother
was a judge who presided over state issue marriages from
time to time. One couple he married returned six months
later to confirm the wedding and end their trial marriage.
When he thusly informed them that there was no such
thing and that they had been married for six months,

(02:25:48):
they subsequently broke up. That sounds nutty, but if you
believed yourself when they told you trial marriages were a
real thing, the betrayal could very easily end a marriage.
I didn't like car anymore. Two days after being married,
in sickness and in heath till disinterest, do you part,
she was kidnapped in Mexico, and he refused to pay ransom. Eventually,

(02:26:11):
her family managed to pay and she was left on
the side of the road. It is not outrageous as
in petty, but outrageous as how absurd that is.

Speaker 1 (02:26:19):
Honey.

Speaker 2 (02:26:20):
I love you, but we agreed to save up money
so we can purchase a house. Your ransom would really
set us back. I'm an INTM, but the judge I
work for used to do divorce work. He has some
crazy stories, but this one is probably the most outrageous,
though the divorce was pretty justified. Every morning this couple
would sit in the bathroom together while one of them

(02:26:40):
had their morning dump. One would sit on the toilet
and the other on the rim of the bath tub.
This particular morning, the wife was on the toilets and
husband on the edge of the tub. They started to
argue about their relationship, so the wife reaches down, pulls
her tampon out, and flings it at husband.

Speaker 1 (02:26:57):
I'm told that.

Speaker 2 (02:26:57):
Tampon stuck for a brief second to his forehead before
sliding off. He filed for divorce that same day or
the next. At first, I read this as one shoots
in the toilet while the other shoots into the bath
tubers and they are both pooping simultaneously in rock paper
scissors for who gets to use the toilet. I was
so concerned. I knew a guy from a high school

(02:27:18):
job who divorced his wife of two months because she
would sleep with a nightlight but he could only sleep
in total darkness, as they apparently never lived together until
after getting married. He hated her nightlight so much that
he would often sleep on the couch instead, but sometimes
he would claim the bed for himself and lock her
out of the bedroom for the night. This was an
eccentric late forties man working at a burger king who

(02:27:40):
acted like all the other high school coworkers were his
best chums, and often told us these weird stories. I'm
glad I don't work with him anymore. Failed exorcisms. Klant
had an interior condition that caused chronic vertigo, but symptoms
could be treated with medication. Husband was an evangelical who
was convinced his wife one had become possessed, in that

(02:28:02):
her vertigo and general crankkeyness with his methods were evidence
of demonic possession.

Speaker 1 (02:28:07):
Two.

Speaker 2 (02:28:08):
The medications she was taking was enabling the devil to
hide inside her and three, the only properer course was exorcism.
He would hide home meds until she got dizzy, and
then try various methods of exorcism. This included sweating it out,
put under blankets while incapacitated and locked in a room
full of space heater, freezing it out pretty much the

(02:28:29):
reverse with ac fans and bags of ice. Surprising it out,
he would jump out and scare her like it was
the Hiccops, but instead of yelling boo, he would recite
the Lord's prayer or psalms. The final straw was that
he tried to surprise it out of her by pushing
her down the stairs when they were heading out for dinner.
Note this guy was some type of executive and they

(02:28:50):
still went out to dinner. After the stairs incident. She
asked for the divorce at an Appleby's that night. I
have often tried to picture that conversation, as she was
adamant that he would as a total sweetheart and never
acted out of malice or anger. But that one's just sad.
My uncle has schizophrenia and my grandaunts tried to convince
my grandmother his mom to have an exorcist come instead

(02:29:12):
of letting him stay on his medications. It's probably one
of the reasons my grandmother stopped talking to them much.
It pains me to think he could have gone through
all of that if he'd been one of my grand
aunt's son instead of my grandmother's. He had an argument
with the new in laws during the wedding and moved
out at around five am during the first night. I

(02:29:34):
was a legal assistant when this case came in. But
this lady divorced her husband of two months because he
got her an iPad case for her birthday instead of
the expensive jewelry she wanted. My client put his wife
in an assisted living facility based on a misdiagnosis, the
medication of which caused the wife to be unable to
care for herself. While in the facility, my client shocker

(02:29:57):
started dating another woman and methinks began using her drugs.
He used a lot of money on both of these things.
She eventually got off the medication and got better. Sufficed
to say, she was not happy about what had transpired
whilst the reason but did happen during the course of
the divorce, neither side would follow the court orders when

(02:30:18):
they had to go back to court. They were fighting
over a pistol and a man's grandmother's bulls. I assumed
for weeks that these bulls were some sort of airly
more expensive china. When they finally brought the bulls in
to swap, they were freaking tupperware. My husband's first marriage
lasted six months. He found out she had been sleeping
around with several of his friends, and one of those

(02:30:39):
friends finally felt so guilty that he fessed up. Husband
actually wanted to work it out if he could, but
when he tried to talk to her about it, she
locked him out of the house and told him she
wanted a divorce. Why did you marry me, he finally
asked her. Her response, because he was the only one
she was sleeping with who could afford her dream wedding. Yup,
be married him because she wanted a wedding and chose

(02:31:01):
the person who could afford it. Mind you, he wasn't
wealthy by any means. He just wishes his friend had
felt guilty about, say six months sooner. I had some
friends get divorced because she legit hated Dale Earnhart and
he legit hated Jeff Gordon. My douche cousin told his
wife she had three chances to give him a son.

(02:31:23):
Daughter was born first strike, one son was born second.
Then they find out the boy can't eat gluten. So
my cousin divorced her and has made zero effort to
see his kids. Who's your cousin? Henry Vai my great
great grandparents had an interesting case. He was abusive like
pimper out and then beat her foreign fidelity levels of abuse.

(02:31:46):
This was the nineteen tenths, though, and in our state
you couldn't initiate a divorce for cruelty. In fact, the
only possible grounds for divorce was infidelity. A few times
she tried just leaving him anyway. Once he came home
from work and she plus all eight of their kids
were just gone, but he always found them, and since

(02:32:06):
they were still married, he had every right to grab
the kids and go back home with them. Finally, she
moved out and went to live with another man. She
flaunted the new guy around town until her no good
husband got embarrassed enough to sue her for divorce on
the grounds of infidelity. Although she couldn't read or write,
she put her ex on those papers the minute he

(02:32:26):
served her. It was a major local scandal, very Catholic community.
Divorce was rare, but she got what she needed to
be safe. My clent was the outrageous one, so my
heart went out to his poor wife. He had OSDI
which manifested primarily financially, so he made their lives a
penny pinching Heck examples. He was obsessed with avoiding unnecessary

(02:32:49):
driving where and tear on the car gas expenses, so
he cut the whole family's hair at home and never
let them eat at a restaurant or go to the movies.
Weirdest of all, he kept one toilet paper roll on
him at all times, and you had to get one
square from him before you could go to the bathroom.
He never gave more than one square. Wife finally got

(02:33:10):
fed up and left him when won. He gave her
bangs during an in home haircut, and two Their daughter
was so traumatized by the toilet paper thing they couldn't
party train her. Also, he hated paying his divorce lawyer bill.
He was also an old fashioned mega Catholic who considered
divorce a deadly sin. He viewed my whole job as
an unnecessary and sinful expense. Not me but a friend

(02:33:34):
my mum has divorced her husband because his mother still
cuddled him at age forty with his consent. They lived
with his mother common in Asia. By cuddle, I mean
that she would walk straight into their room after his
shower and powder his back for him. They couldn't lock
their bedroom door because his mother would come in as
and when she wanted. If they locked the door, she
wouldknock repeatedly asking what they were doing. I worked as

(02:33:58):
a paralegal for a divorce lawyer. Case analysis was one
of my main responsibilities.

Speaker 1 (02:34:04):
I crap you not.

Speaker 2 (02:34:05):
A recently married couple of two years broke it off
because the husband would not stop feeding the dog. The
dog got outrageously fat. Apparently she saw connection between the
dog and future children. I am a lawyer that handles
quite a few divorces among other things, and I've seen
all sorts of reasons for marriages ending. The only thing

(02:34:25):
that is consistently true is that it is never for
just one reason, and it is never one sided. When
you hear about people divorcing over one stupid argument or mistake,
usually that's just the straw that broke the camel's back.
That said, some of the lighter straws I've seen include
a guy who is one hundred percent convinced that his
wife our client is actually a lesbian in love with

(02:34:48):
his sister and just using him as a cover. But
he also claims she is hooking up with me to
pay for her legal fees and with every male whose
phone number is in her care history. A woman who
is divorcing my client because he was too sad after
his father died last year. My client had to break
down her door to get his father's ashes a few
weeks after he left the house, and she refused to

(02:35:09):
let him back in or give them to him. And
a woman who claims my client was emotionally abusive towards
her because he refused to yell at her and sat
in silence, ignoring her when she screamed at him. He
has this recorded time stamped for the dates and times
she insists the incidents occurred, and she's listened to them
and his complete silence. She goes on tirades and insists

(02:35:29):
this proves her point that he was emotionally distant and abusive.
A friend of mine god married when she was nineteen
so she could drink at a bar in Wisconsin. You
can't drink under age with a parent or a spouse.
Then when she turned twenty one, she got a divorce
since she was legal to drink without him. Seems like
an easy in and out transaction, but don't know. The

(02:35:50):
biggest item they fought over was the garage beer refrigerator.

Speaker 1 (02:35:54):
Go figure.

Speaker 2 (02:35:56):
Not the most outrageous, but I had a client incur
about twenty editions allows of billibleous because he and his
ex wife were battling and went to trial over their
Star Wars collection. This was the only issue at trial.
They were able to work out custody, child support, the house,
but the Star Wars collection went to trial. The judge
ended up splitting it in the most as sir Hallish

(02:36:17):
way possible, basically giving each side half of what they
wanted in, then mixing and matching everything else and breaking
up collections. When speaking about it at a conference, the
judge admitted she did it because if they were going
to act like children, she would treat them like children.
The thing is, the value of this collection was over
one hundred dollars K, so hardly kid's staff. Neither side

(02:36:40):
had it an end to appeal, nor was the case
law on either side given judicial discretion in property distribution.
Worked in matrimonial law for a year and a half
before I had to leave b C. It just overwhelmed
me with how awful humanity is. I'll never forget filing
papers that described her soon to be ex husband's behavior
in clar master baits on the living room couch without

(02:37:03):
closing the door and leaves sticky tissues everywhere, with further
description of their three young children potentially walking in on him.
I have a friend who used to work as a
clerk for a family court judge. The minute a new
job opened up working for a criminal court judge, she
jumped on it because, as she put it, dealing with
murderers all day is one heck of a lot easier

(02:37:23):
than dealing with divorcing couples all day. I do my
student practice at my family's law firm. Young woman filed
for a divorce because her husband drank one beer during
weekdays after a day of work. The guy wasn't violent,
dealing drugs, or in anything like that. He was just
a normal, polite guy who liked to have a cold

(02:37:43):
one after a ten hour shift. They are very good
couple and argue so rarely that. This woman's friend told
her to write down everything he did to upset her
and reread it every day, so she had reasons to
be angry. My mom lawyer set the woman straight, told
her he just doing what all guys do, and to
find herself new friends instead of ones ready to sabotage

(02:38:04):
their marriage. Not necessarily the most outrageous reason, but definitely
some outrageous conduct. At the saddest divorce we were hired
to do but ended up not doing for reasons that'll
become apparent was a woman in her fifties whose husband
had really just let himself go. He was over four
hundred pounds, just did his third triple bypass, refuse to

(02:38:26):
do anything different, just smoked and drank all day long
while watching TV. His doctors told him he was going
to die in six months if he did and change
his behavior. He told them they were all morons and
could go to heck. Meanwhile, his wife is this successful
woman who makes over ten dollars k month on her
hobby while making six figures in her normal work. She

(02:38:46):
lost all respect for him, all desire, and all love
for him by watching his decline for the past few years.
She can barely stand him. It also sounded like there
was some verbal abuse going on, where he constantly accused
her of cheating and gaslighting her, while cheating himself throughout
their marriage and spending all his money on coke the usual.

(02:39:07):
His accusations ramped up considerably once she lost about two
hundred pounds the good olay fashioned way. We were working
on her divorce and one of her provisions was that
he'd keep her as the beneficiary on his life insurance.
For obvious reasons, she assured us he would agree to
everything she suggested in the paperwork if she talked him
through it. One day, we get an email from her

(02:39:28):
saying to hold the divorce, not because they were reconciling,
but because he refused to keep her as the beneficiary
on his life insurance if they divorced, so she stopped
the divorce so that she could get the benefits when
he inevitably dies in a few months. He got drunk
at the wedding. She did not like it and decided
to divorce him right after the honeymoon, which she went

(02:39:51):
without him. Moreover, this was all an elaborate scheme of
divorce robbery, because the guy was loaded and so was
his entire family. They were coad it because they were
a family of excellent lawyers and he was a third
generation lawyer with all the smarts and experience of his
predecessor's combined. Let's just say it did not go well
for her. I am not a lawyer, but I am

(02:40:14):
a court clerk. The magistrate I used to work with
got a petition for divorce, and the reason the wife
gave was he should have been more forthcoming about his
shortcomings in the bedroom. Not a lawyer, but my uncle's
wife left him because he was spending most of the
time at the hospital with my dying grandfather instead of
spending time with her. I work with a guy whose

(02:40:35):
wife is currently peede because he hasn't been taking sufficient
care of the lawn for the last few months. He
works weird night shift hours full time. She's a teacher
currently not working since its summer. Oh and his dad
is terminally ill dying in a hospital bed right now,
but she still has the audacity to be about the lawn.
Not getting mode was allowed she are at the dinner table.

(02:40:58):
He developed a complex and literally he needed out as
he couldn't bear to eat with her. This sounds like
a Seinfeld b plot now, but my father's best friend
divorced his wife over her cooking. Apparently every day he
would come home to amazing cooked meals. However, she couldn't
cook at all and was ordering food from different restaurants.

(02:41:19):
She even went as far as dirtying pots and pans
to make it look like she cooked all day. She
got away with us for almost a year before he
caught on. This was back in the day before you
could check your bank statements online, and since she did
all the billing, he didn't notice how much money was
missing that she was spending on takeout. Not a divorce lawyer,

(02:41:39):
but got out of my first marriage because shortly after
we got married, he decided he didn't like the way
I talked and asked me not to talk when we
were out in company unless I could talk straight. I'm
not a lawyer, but I was once buying a computer
from someone on Craigslist, and when I got to his house,
it was full of computers everywhere. There were monitors laying

(02:41:59):
on the floor and half built computers laying around, full
built computers all over the place. And I'm talking expensive
gaming computers, not your every day all in one computer's
We got to talking about why he had so many,
and the guy said he was just obsessed with them.
And he confessed that the reason his wife divorced him
was because she said I was too obsessed with my computers.

(02:42:21):
I'm not a lawyer, but I was once buying a
computer from someone on craigslist. Good enough for me. The
dog he bought me peede on the carpet. To be fair,
it really tied the room together. Taught the parakeet certain
cusswords for his wife. The parrot lives with the man.

Speaker 1 (02:42:38):
Now.

Speaker 2 (02:42:39):
I thought about going towards family law, and then I
realized I'm going to have to deal with things such
as who's going to get the parrot and grandma's vas Nope.
Divorce lawyer in London had a client who indulged in
some recreational drug use. His dealer lives in the same
apartment building as him. Went down one day to pick
up some of that sort wheat sweet coke. When drug

(02:43:02):
dealer female came to the door, he could hear his
wife in the background. Turns out that his wife also
like the hire life and was getting her fix in
with the neighborhood dealer. But it doesn't end there because
they all get on so well. They start having parties
and hanging out. Parties become drug fueled dodgies and hey presto.
Each week, the husband and wife put their kids to

(02:43:22):
bed and head downstairs to the dealer's flat for a
fist of drugs and flesh. A couple of months ago
by and the wife comes home and says she is
leaving him to be in a full time same sex
relationship with the dealer. Duties now stressed af but he
can't score no more from his dealer who stole his missus.
Just a reminder, nobody in this story is as attractive
as what you are thinking. It's not a ridiculous reason.

(02:43:46):
It's a ridiculous scenario. Happen to a friend. Girlfriend wanted
a cat, even though it was against rules in that building.
My friend caved and they got one. Then she brought
another one home without asking what he thought about it.
Didn't get that one fixed. It had two different letters.
When it was all said and done, they had twelve
cats in a two bedroom house, and she didn't think

(02:44:07):
it was a problem, even though it drove him out
of his mind. Now, but the story of the couple
in Algeria always gets me. Groom sees his new wife
the morning after the wedding without makeup, takes her for
an intruder, and proceeds to sue for over ten dollars
K for psychological trauma smelly feet. Though there's no divorce

(02:44:28):
in my country, only in ulment. My client can't stand
the smell of his wife's feet. Lucky for him because
in compatibility clause includes smelly feet. I was smelling the
whole process, and the judge laughed examining the evidence of
his wife having a smelly feet. If you are new
to the channel, you can subscribe. I publish new videos
every day until then check another video.

Speaker 1 (02:45:14):
Abjected. Bye for now.

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The Joe Rogan Experience

All Episodes

Dumbest Reasons for Divorce 3 HOURS!

Stuff You Should Know