July 26, 2025 • 20 mins
Wife Drunk Cheated With A Coworker At The Christmas Party So I Did The Only Rational Thing...
Cheating Wives Stories is a place where people can come to hear stories of wives or girlfriends cheating. Plus some good revenge on Cheat Wives and Girlfriends. These stories also serve to let people currently going through the heartbreak a place to come and know they ARE NOT ALONE.
Marriage Is A Bad Investment!
#infidelity #cheating #relationships #cheatingstories
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/true-cheating-wives-and-girlfriends-stories-2025-true-cheating-stories-podcast--5689182/support.
Cheating Wives Stories is a place where people can come to hear stories of wives or girlfriends cheating. Plus some good revenge on Cheat Wives and Girlfriends. These stories also serve to let people currently going through the heartbreak a place to come and know they ARE NOT ALONE.
Marriage Is A Bad Investment!
#infidelity #cheating #relationships #cheatingstories
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/true-cheating-wives-and-girlfriends-stories-2025-true-cheating-stories-podcast--5689182/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
My partner left me for someone else, then came back.
I thirty am and my partner twenty six AF broke
up after seven years, and a few days later was
seeing somebody else.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
This particular person.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Was a regular at her work and they had obviously
been flirting with each other for quite a few months.
He was married and had told my partner at the
time he had left his wife, so while he was
having a fling with my then ex, he was still married.
They were seeing each other for about two months until
everything came crashing down. My ex found out he had
not only been cheating on his wife with her, but
(00:39):
there were also other women. She broke up with him
and immediately got in touch with me, explaining what had happened.
Not looking to get back with me, but I guess
just looking for a shoulder. I offered her some emotional
support and left it at that. Several months later, she
wants to try again with me. I want to try
again with her, but how can I move on from
(01:00):
the constant thoughts of her leaving me just to duck
somebody else. Kudos to her for leaving me before it
became physical, but she emotionally cheated. I think about this
other guy every single day, and it is bringing me
down so much. Any advice to manage my thoughts on
this would be great. Redditor's reactions Story two after Redditor one.
(01:20):
Don't do it, sorry, mate, But even if after seven
years she choose to leave you for this guy instead
of talking with you to improve the relationship on the
things she wanted, then it's not worth it. She made
a choice. Imagine if the guy did actually leave his wife,
then you wouldn't even have this conversation. Your ex didn't
come back for you. She came back because the other
guy wasn't as good as she thought, and you should
(01:43):
stop being in contact with her. It is just a
daily reminder of what she did to you. Move on,
redditor follow up. Listen to this guy. Also, if they
do it once, they'll do it again. Most people that
stray from the relationship and then get taken back seam
to proceed from that point forward as if they have permission.
After all, you've taken them back once when you shouldn't have.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Why not again?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Women like this will do this again and again until
they find the guy they're actually looking for. Until then
you're just shelter from the rain and access to an ATM.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Redditor too, she cheated and.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Only came back when she found out he cheated on her.
You are her plan B. If you take her back,
you will be tossed aside as soon as another plan
A shows up.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Op answer. It was quite a.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Long time after she left him that she contacted me again,
though I also thought the whole plan be thing. But
she has had so many opportunities to be with other
guys and she has turned everyone away. I am also
worried about being tossed aside again, but at the same time,
would she be dumb enough to potentially get screwed over again?
Redditor three? Don't ever be someone's plan be Man op answer.
(02:53):
I know why. I am not one to be somebody's
plan B. But there is so much more to this
than just being her Plan B. It's it's not like
she tried to get back with me straight away, and
she never even hinted at it. In fact, the way
she spoke to me after she left him was clear
she wanted to be single. It was only months later
she asked if we could try again. Story too, really
(03:14):
need some support going through a divorce right now. My
wife and I are sleeping in different rooms while we
figure out how to work through the splitting up of
the kids, financials, et cetera. Its brutal being around her,
knowing she is still seeing this guy and has no
remorse for cheating on me and lying to me about
it for six months. She just got back from a
double date with her new BF and walks into my
(03:36):
room after getting ready for bed, wearing an oversized T shirt.
I ask her if it's his, and she says yes.
I'm feeling absolutely gutted right now. But this is such
a messed up situation, and the way she has handled
it is so terrible. I don't know how I was
with this person for almost eighteen years. I don't even
know who she is any more, let alone how she
(03:56):
could be so selfish and unempathetic. My kids are going
to suffer because of her selfishness. The only way I
have any capacity to move forward is getting my head
out of the emotions and go higher. Thinking it doesn't
do much, but it's doing enough to not let me give.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Up on life. Update.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Yesterday morning, I was served divorce paperwork. I'm struggling to
keep my emotions in check, and now I'm working on
focusing on getting my ducks in a row since being
served in it. She paints a wildly inaccurate portrait of
an abusive and controlling husband.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Not true.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I know I am guilty of a lot of things,
but I supported her pursuit of starting and running her
own business for over thirteen years where she made less
than half of what she did in her old corporate job,
so she could be happy and spend more time raising
our kids. I managed the household, the finances provided a
really nice life for her in the family where nobody
(04:51):
ever stressed about finances. I met with my therapist yesterday,
who was not surprised at all. He basically called this
unfolding as such, so we came up with a gameplay
to counter her accusations. The real hurt is that she
asked for a restraining order and for me to leave
my house so she can live there with the kids.
So there is a real battle coming up, and I'm
(05:12):
trying to prepare myself for the fight of my life
to be really open here. I'm scared. Redditor's reactions story
three after Redditor one. You need to make it a
priority that you stop living together. She is really an
awful person right now. The least you see her, the better.
It's very cruel.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
What she is doing to you.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Remember this, redditor follow up. My ex did this for
two months, absolute tearcher. It's amazing how similar all these
stories are. Cut forward nine months the break up and
big apology. Pathetic redditor two awful, just bloody awful. I'm
so sorry you're going through this. The part about her
(05:54):
saying it was the other man's shirt right in front
of you in your own dang bedroom really punched me
in the gut and reminded me how horrific this phase is.
When you're stuck in constant emotional cycles of powerlessness, rejection, betrayal,
anger and despair without support from the one person you
should have been able to rely on, the days of
Internet strangers understanding you better than your partner is going
(06:17):
to forgive yourself for not being at your absolute best
and strongest right now. You've been thrown into a sh
t show, and few of us navigate this gracefully. On
the optimistic side, it is a phase. This is the
purgatory that feels like hell, But there will be another side.
Healing will start the second you're officially living under separate
(06:39):
roofs and have a plan playing out. Remind yourself that
this part is temporary. It might take some time to
get everything sorted through the legal process and get comfortable
with new norms for things like time sharing with the kids,
but eventually you'll get your groove. I'll make some predictions
for you, since thinking of the future proper probably sucks
(07:00):
for you. Right now, you'll be able to breathe again.
You'll wonder if the grief was as bad as you remember.
You'll rejoice in time with your kids that is all yours,
and you'll make precious memories with them that no one
can take from them. You'll reclaim your space without having
to consider what she likes. Always secretly wanted a man cave.
(07:21):
Wish your ceiling was black with glow in the dark
stars on it.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Go for it.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
You'll eat food she didn't like, just to be petty,
even if you don't really like it either. At least
one person who cares about you will say fuck her,
you're better off, and they'll be right. If no one
has done it yet, I'll go first duck her. You'll
realize that you're okay and that your babies are okay.
(07:46):
You'll be aware of her ap existing and passively think
things like, Oh, there's that raccoon that went digging in
my garbage and got himself some rotten trash to enjoy,
and you'll roll your eyes and move on with your
day feeling anything at all. IP answer thank you. Before
I knew she was cheating, we were in couple's therapy
(08:07):
for months. She's been lying to me and our therapist
dragging me through the mud. I knew in my gut
that something was off, but I couldn't confirm it. Two
weeks ago, I did, and it crushed my world that
had already been crumbling around me. Our therapist fired us
the day she finally came clean because I did a
bunch of detective work and confronted her and told me
(08:28):
he would work with me solo if I wanted to.
Since then, he's openly shared his thoughts about the year
we had been going to him, and it's been a
complete mind f c k.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
He was so mad at.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Her that day he literally started shaking and barely stopped
himself from full on yelling at her. I really appreciated
having that support up until this all started going down.
I ran away from being vulnerable. My girls had never
really seen me cry. I've cried in front of them
several times. Now I'm going to cry a lot more.
(09:00):
It feels terrible knowing what I'm going to have to
fight through to get to the other side. But I
am trying to focus on the good, like you said,
and also embrace the things I sucked at, which partially
is responsible for this situation in all honesty, because I
definitely am no saint to know I contributed to the dysfunction.
I also know the affair and lying is not my fault,
(09:21):
but it still doesn't take any of the pain away.
Really appreciate your sentiments amazing how much can be shared
and openly discussed with complete strangers. My friends of my back,
but it can sometimes feel almost like blind support because
they're my friends and say things that feel more expected
than some of the sentiments and empathy received from anonymous
(09:42):
people here.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Redditor three.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yet I would tell her to move out to a
friends or family member, because that is disrespectful, no remorse,
and no shame, s m h. Redditor follow up. Unfortunately,
you can't really force someone to do that cause its
her house as well. Story Ida for leaving my cheating wife.
This is more of just a sanity check, and I
(10:05):
hope to God it is so ridiculous that it sounds
like a shit post. And a short backstory on us.
We were high school sweethearts that got married at eighteen
and are forty eight now. Last weekend, I was out
of town on a business trip and her work decided
they wanted to throw their Christmas party early this year
and had it that same weekend. I was a little
bummed that I missed it because they are usually really
(10:27):
fun and I like a lot of the people she
works with. But no big deal. Turns out, my wife
gets drunk and hooks up with one of the guys
at the party. Nobody caught them red handed, but people
noticed them being flirtatious and that they disappeared for a time.
It was weird enough that I ended up getting a
text from one of her coworkers warning me that something
might be up and explaining the story. So when I
(10:50):
get back from my trip Monday evening, I confront her
about it and she admits to cheating. I tell her
I will meet with an attorney this week to get
the divorce filing started, and I leave. She follows me, crying,
saying that she is sorry and it was a mistake
and so on. But I still just walk away. I
don't want to lose my cool or say anything I
will regret, so I leave without saying a word. Yesterday
(11:13):
she ended up calling my friends and family whoever she
could get a hold of, and tries to guilt trip
them into taking her side that I should leave her,
And somehow it seems to be ducking working. Most not all,
but still more than half are actually siding with her,
telling me that I should throw away a good marriage
over one mistake, and that I should work towards forgiving her,
(11:33):
and that I need to think about our kids. Ect
I am sorry, but cheating is not a mistake. You
don't accidentally fall on someone else's dck. It is a
conscious decision to betray the person you claim to love
and destroy all trust. Our kids are twenty six and
twenty four, established adults. They can handle their parents getting divorced.
(11:54):
So am I really the ashole for leaving my wife?
Redditor's reactions story four after nta at all. But you
should listen to your friends. If you were otherwise happy
in your marriage, then it is foolish to throw it
away like that. Thirty years of happiness and all the
plans for your future is a heavy cost to you.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Two.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Anger, hurt, and betrayal are very difficult to get over
and should not be taken lightly. But this is not
a decision to make rashly for your own sake. Take
some time to really consider if you want this to
be over, or if it's worth salvaging through marriage therapy
or otherwise. Good luck, OP, and I'm very sorry for
your pain, OP answer. I am not throwing away anything.
(12:39):
She threw this marriage away when she chose a one
night stand over our marriage. Redditor two NTA at all,
Redditor three NTA. I can see why some would argue
against throwing away a thirty year marriage, but I agree
with you. You're out of town. She gets drunk and
fcks a co worker at a party and makes it
(12:59):
so so obvious at the party that her co workers
reach out to you. I'd kick her ass out the door, too,
Redditor for NTA and buy a long shot. She made
her choice and you get to make yours. And if
it's to divorce an adulterous wife, it is one hundred
percent you're right, Could you ever trust her again? I couldn't,
and that's the death knell of any relationship, even before
(13:21):
you add in the thirty years of marriage that she
threw away. I also wouldn't take any admonition from Tilda
eternal Tilda external sources on this one either, even if
it meant striking the family and friends that are clearly
her friends and not yours from my personal book of
life right along with her Good luck man Redditor follow
up unrelated, but I like your typo admonition from eternal
(13:45):
sources makes it sound like Jesus Christ as they're chewing
you out.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Story four.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Wife broke down crying at dinner table over ex boyfriend
me forty two m, wife forty two f. We have
been married for almost a year together for three scenario
having dinner, eating and drinking wine, just one glass of wine,
not getting drunk. Her daughter twelve, asks about her ex
boyfriend as in what happened why they broke up more
(14:13):
than four years ago? And my wife breaks down at
the table, full on crying, gets up and leaves the table.
We are just stuck in slow motion at the table.
Her daughter says, thought she would have been over that
by now and I say the same. We talk about
it privately, and she says that she was hurt by
him and his betrayal. He left her for another woman,
(14:33):
but four years ago and I'm now married to her.
She says her episode was a result of the pain
from the betrayal, not from feelings for him. I'm having
a hard time with this as it seems like there
are some left over feelings for him she isn't telling
me about. I'm feeling like maybe I'll never live up
to what they had together. Her daughter isn't biologically related
(14:54):
to the x BF. The energy in our house is
very heavy. Help trying to get past it. Update just
for clarity, he didn't.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Cheat on her.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
He did betray her and did leave her for a
good friend of hers. So yeah, a bad situation. They
were living together for five years. I am grateful for
all those who have written in and given their thoughts.
It helps a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I will have a conversation with her about it and
as moving past it. I believe her when she says
she doesn't have feelings any longer for him. It was
just hard last night when my head was spinning from
that episode. So hard to see it that way. Redditor's
reactions story five after Redditor one, when I found out
my then fiance was cheating on me, I threw up.
(15:42):
I still have a very visceral reaction when I think
about that time now, almost nine years later. I am
in a wonderful relationship now and have not a shred
of positive emotion towards my ex, but the feelings were
still very intense and still reverberate sometimes. Redditor follow up
say I love my current partner and have no feelings
(16:03):
for my ex, but the feelings of betrayal and the
psychological damage he caused still lingers. If I have to
see him, or if someone brings him up, I still
react because it was a very negative time in my
life with bad memories. It's more remembering the person I was,
what he put me through that causes distress. Redditor too,
Her daughter took her by surprise and apparently poked a
(16:25):
sore spot when she asked about why they had broken up.
Your wife may very well have been surprised by the
strength of her own reaction. How awkward for her to
be asked that by a child too, and perhaps not
know how to answer without either having to lie or
going into more adult details than you'd want to share
with a twelve year old. Please don't make this into
(16:45):
something about your relationship. Bring your wife some flowers and
try to show that you understand emotions can be a
little messy at times, and that's okay. Bonus, you'll be
showing your wife why the man she married is a
better man than the ashole who cheated too. Follow up
bonus you'll be showing your wife why the man she
married is a better man than the ashole who cheated too.
(17:07):
This part is amazing and so true. She will know that,
and it will touch her heart in a way she
won't forget. Redditor three, A guy left me for another
woman in the most horrible and degrading fashion that I
was upset for years afterwards just thinking about it. If
I was at all unprepared for the memory, I would
have burst out crying too, even while wanting to rip
(17:28):
his stupid face off. The fact that twelve year old
daughter didn't know makes me think she could be one
hundred percent honest and buried that pain with I don't want.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
To talk about it before now.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Kids are curious, though, so eventually daughter thought she could
ask your wife needs someone to talk to who won't
be judgmental about this, like a therapist. Please don't hold
her having feelings against her. Try to problem solve with
her instead of assume the worst about her actions here.
Good luck, redditor.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Follow up. I hope you are right.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
As a woman myself, I think she is an over
her ex. Even it was a painful experience, she should
at least talk about it. I probably should ask the
daughter why she bought it up. Yeah, therapy sounds about right.
Flowers and chocolate isn't never wrong? Story five Ida for
calling the coffee shop to get a hold of my wife,
(18:20):
me thirty seven, her thirty seven, married ten years, no kids,
but have a dog. Well, I day she has a dog,
I just clean up after it. So today I got
to dog sit my own dog, as I like to think,
as we are married in a home, he's my dog too.
As she had a business meeting, she calls the dog
her mtioshinal support animal. I'm not allowed to take him
(18:41):
for walk alone. I used to until I had a
conversation with another woman about wine and hid from her.
So I cheated in her eyes. And when he with
me at my store, I own. I'm supposed to keep
the doors locked and only allowed to leave the store
with him if I ask. So today, good boy, the
dog was pacing back and forth, and all of a sudden,
assets all over my floor, starts to puke. I'm not
(19:02):
allowed to leave. I called my wife twice but nothing,
and so I called the coffee shop she was at.
Now she's mad at me because I called the coffee shop,
and she's upset at me because I called her a
bit for the way she acted. Names are never the answer,
but I don't know what else to say to her.
Am I the a shoal for doing what I did?
Redditor's reactions Redditor one info, What are you just trolling
(19:27):
us right now? You aren't allowed to walk the dog
alone because you spoke to a woman about wine. He
esseits and pukes all over your store, and instead of
taking him to the vet, you have to track her down.
If this is for real, you've got much bigger problems
in your marriage than her being mad that you interrupted
her Latte edited fix typo Redditor follow up. Also, he
(19:49):
said she was at a business meeting today. Why was
it at a cafe? Does she run a cafe? Redditor too.
What in the hell did I just read run away
from Her? T redditor three, WTF you need permission to
leave with a dog even while it needs the bathroom
and she gets mad because you asked for permission for this,
(20:11):
but you need to leave. This sounds so toxic. Ip answer,
I agree, this is toxic. I just need to open
up with a community. Her family does not talk to
her because in her eyes, she's always right. I need
to take back my life and this is step one.
My partner left me for someone else, then came back.
I thirty am and my partner twenty six AF broke
up after seven years, and a few days later was
seeing somebody else.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
This particular person.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Was a regular at her work and they had obviously
been flirting with each other for quite a few months.
He was married and had told my partner at the
time he had left his wife, so while he was
having a fling with my then ex, he was still married.
They were seeing each other for about two months until
everything came crashing down. My ex found out he had
not only been cheating on his wife with her, but
(00:39):
there were also other women. She broke up with him
and immediately got in touch with me, explaining what had happened.
Not looking to get back with me, but I guess
just looking for a shoulder. I offered her some emotional
support and left it at that. Several months later, she
wants to try again with me. I want to try
again with her, but how can I move on from
(01:00):
the constant thoughts of her leaving me just to duck
somebody else. Kudos to her for leaving me before it
became physical, but she emotionally cheated. I think about this
other guy every single day, and it is bringing me
down so much. Any advice to manage my thoughts on
this would be great. Redditor's reactions Story two after Redditor one.
(01:20):
Don't do it, sorry, mate, But even if after seven
years she choose to leave you for this guy instead
of talking with you to improve the relationship on the
things she wanted, then it's not worth it. She made
a choice. Imagine if the guy did actually leave his wife,
then you wouldn't even have this conversation. Your ex didn't
come back for you. She came back because the other
guy wasn't as good as she thought, and you should
(01:43):
stop being in contact with her. It is just a
daily reminder of what she did to you. Move on,
redditor follow up. Listen to this guy. Also, if they
do it once, they'll do it again. Most people that
stray from the relationship and then get taken back seam
to proceed from that point forward as if they have permission.
After all, you've taken them back once when you shouldn't have.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Why not again?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Women like this will do this again and again until
they find the guy they're actually looking for. Until then
you're just shelter from the rain and access to an ATM.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Redditor too, she cheated and.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Only came back when she found out he cheated on her.
You are her plan B. If you take her back,
you will be tossed aside as soon as another plan
A shows up.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Op answer. It was quite a.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Long time after she left him that she contacted me again,
though I also thought the whole plan be thing. But
she has had so many opportunities to be with other
guys and she has turned everyone away. I am also
worried about being tossed aside again, but at the same time,
would she be dumb enough to potentially get screwed over again?
Redditor three? Don't ever be someone's plan be Man op answer.
(02:53):
I know why. I am not one to be somebody's
plan B. But there is so much more to this
than just being her Plan B. It's it's not like
she tried to get back with me straight away, and
she never even hinted at it. In fact, the way
she spoke to me after she left him was clear
she wanted to be single. It was only months later
she asked if we could try again. Story too, really
(03:14):
need some support going through a divorce right now. My
wife and I are sleeping in different rooms while we
figure out how to work through the splitting up of
the kids, financials, et cetera. Its brutal being around her,
knowing she is still seeing this guy and has no
remorse for cheating on me and lying to me about
it for six months. She just got back from a
double date with her new BF and walks into my
(03:36):
room after getting ready for bed, wearing an oversized T shirt.
I ask her if it's his, and she says yes.
I'm feeling absolutely gutted right now. But this is such
a messed up situation, and the way she has handled
it is so terrible. I don't know how I was
with this person for almost eighteen years. I don't even
know who she is any more, let alone how she
(03:56):
could be so selfish and unempathetic. My kids are going
to suffer because of her selfishness. The only way I
have any capacity to move forward is getting my head
out of the emotions and go higher. Thinking it doesn't
do much, but it's doing enough to not let me give.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Up on life. Update.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Yesterday morning, I was served divorce paperwork. I'm struggling to
keep my emotions in check, and now I'm working on
focusing on getting my ducks in a row since being
served in it. She paints a wildly inaccurate portrait of
an abusive and controlling husband.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Not true.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I know I am guilty of a lot of things,
but I supported her pursuit of starting and running her
own business for over thirteen years where she made less
than half of what she did in her old corporate job,
so she could be happy and spend more time raising
our kids. I managed the household, the finances provided a
really nice life for her in the family where nobody
(04:51):
ever stressed about finances. I met with my therapist yesterday,
who was not surprised at all. He basically called this
unfolding as such, so we came up with a gameplay
to counter her accusations. The real hurt is that she
asked for a restraining order and for me to leave
my house so she can live there with the kids.
So there is a real battle coming up, and I'm
(05:12):
trying to prepare myself for the fight of my life
to be really open here. I'm scared. Redditor's reactions story
three after Redditor one. You need to make it a
priority that you stop living together. She is really an
awful person right now. The least you see her, the better.
It's very cruel.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
What she is doing to you.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Remember this, redditor follow up. My ex did this for
two months, absolute tearcher. It's amazing how similar all these
stories are. Cut forward nine months the break up and
big apology. Pathetic redditor two awful, just bloody awful. I'm
so sorry you're going through this. The part about her
(05:54):
saying it was the other man's shirt right in front
of you in your own dang bedroom really punched me
in the gut and reminded me how horrific this phase is.
When you're stuck in constant emotional cycles of powerlessness, rejection, betrayal,
anger and despair without support from the one person you
should have been able to rely on, the days of
Internet strangers understanding you better than your partner is going
(06:17):
to forgive yourself for not being at your absolute best
and strongest right now. You've been thrown into a sh
t show, and few of us navigate this gracefully. On
the optimistic side, it is a phase. This is the
purgatory that feels like hell, But there will be another side.
Healing will start the second you're officially living under separate
(06:39):
roofs and have a plan playing out. Remind yourself that
this part is temporary. It might take some time to
get everything sorted through the legal process and get comfortable
with new norms for things like time sharing with the kids,
but eventually you'll get your groove. I'll make some predictions
for you, since thinking of the future proper probably sucks
(07:00):
for you. Right now, you'll be able to breathe again.
You'll wonder if the grief was as bad as you remember.
You'll rejoice in time with your kids that is all yours,
and you'll make precious memories with them that no one
can take from them. You'll reclaim your space without having
to consider what she likes. Always secretly wanted a man cave.
(07:21):
Wish your ceiling was black with glow in the dark
stars on it.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Go for it.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
You'll eat food she didn't like, just to be petty,
even if you don't really like it either. At least
one person who cares about you will say fuck her,
you're better off, and they'll be right. If no one
has done it yet, I'll go first duck her. You'll
realize that you're okay and that your babies are okay.
(07:46):
You'll be aware of her ap existing and passively think
things like, Oh, there's that raccoon that went digging in
my garbage and got himself some rotten trash to enjoy,
and you'll roll your eyes and move on with your
day feeling anything at all. IP answer thank you. Before
I knew she was cheating, we were in couple's therapy
(08:07):
for months. She's been lying to me and our therapist
dragging me through the mud. I knew in my gut
that something was off, but I couldn't confirm it. Two
weeks ago, I did, and it crushed my world that
had already been crumbling around me. Our therapist fired us
the day she finally came clean because I did a
bunch of detective work and confronted her and told me
(08:28):
he would work with me solo if I wanted to.
Since then, he's openly shared his thoughts about the year
we had been going to him, and it's been a
complete mind f c k.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
He was so mad at.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Her that day he literally started shaking and barely stopped
himself from full on yelling at her. I really appreciated
having that support up until this all started going down.
I ran away from being vulnerable. My girls had never
really seen me cry. I've cried in front of them
several times. Now I'm going to cry a lot more.
(09:00):
It feels terrible knowing what I'm going to have to
fight through to get to the other side. But I
am trying to focus on the good, like you said,
and also embrace the things I sucked at, which partially
is responsible for this situation in all honesty, because I
definitely am no saint to know I contributed to the dysfunction.
I also know the affair and lying is not my fault,
(09:21):
but it still doesn't take any of the pain away.
Really appreciate your sentiments amazing how much can be shared
and openly discussed with complete strangers. My friends of my back,
but it can sometimes feel almost like blind support because
they're my friends and say things that feel more expected
than some of the sentiments and empathy received from anonymous
(09:42):
people here.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Redditor three.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yet I would tell her to move out to a
friends or family member, because that is disrespectful, no remorse,
and no shame, s m h. Redditor follow up. Unfortunately,
you can't really force someone to do that cause its
her house as well. Story Ida for leaving my cheating wife.
This is more of just a sanity check, and I
(10:05):
hope to God it is so ridiculous that it sounds
like a shit post. And a short backstory on us.
We were high school sweethearts that got married at eighteen
and are forty eight now. Last weekend, I was out
of town on a business trip and her work decided
they wanted to throw their Christmas party early this year
and had it that same weekend. I was a little
bummed that I missed it because they are usually really
(10:27):
fun and I like a lot of the people she
works with. But no big deal. Turns out, my wife
gets drunk and hooks up with one of the guys
at the party. Nobody caught them red handed, but people
noticed them being flirtatious and that they disappeared for a time.
It was weird enough that I ended up getting a
text from one of her coworkers warning me that something
might be up and explaining the story. So when I
(10:50):
get back from my trip Monday evening, I confront her
about it and she admits to cheating. I tell her
I will meet with an attorney this week to get
the divorce filing started, and I leave. She follows me, crying,
saying that she is sorry and it was a mistake
and so on. But I still just walk away. I
don't want to lose my cool or say anything I
will regret, so I leave without saying a word. Yesterday
(11:13):
she ended up calling my friends and family whoever she
could get a hold of, and tries to guilt trip
them into taking her side that I should leave her,
And somehow it seems to be ducking working. Most not all,
but still more than half are actually siding with her,
telling me that I should throw away a good marriage
over one mistake, and that I should work towards forgiving her,
(11:33):
and that I need to think about our kids. Ect
I am sorry, but cheating is not a mistake. You
don't accidentally fall on someone else's dck. It is a
conscious decision to betray the person you claim to love
and destroy all trust. Our kids are twenty six and
twenty four, established adults. They can handle their parents getting divorced.
(11:54):
So am I really the ashole for leaving my wife?
Redditor's reactions story four after nta at all. But you
should listen to your friends. If you were otherwise happy
in your marriage, then it is foolish to throw it
away like that. Thirty years of happiness and all the
plans for your future is a heavy cost to you.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Two.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Anger, hurt, and betrayal are very difficult to get over
and should not be taken lightly. But this is not
a decision to make rashly for your own sake. Take
some time to really consider if you want this to
be over, or if it's worth salvaging through marriage therapy
or otherwise. Good luck, OP, and I'm very sorry for
your pain, OP answer. I am not throwing away anything.
(12:39):
She threw this marriage away when she chose a one
night stand over our marriage. Redditor two NTA at all,
Redditor three NTA. I can see why some would argue
against throwing away a thirty year marriage, but I agree
with you. You're out of town. She gets drunk and
fcks a co worker at a party and makes it
(12:59):
so so obvious at the party that her co workers
reach out to you. I'd kick her ass out the door, too,
Redditor for NTA and buy a long shot. She made
her choice and you get to make yours. And if
it's to divorce an adulterous wife, it is one hundred
percent you're right, Could you ever trust her again? I couldn't,
and that's the death knell of any relationship, even before
(13:21):
you add in the thirty years of marriage that she
threw away. I also wouldn't take any admonition from Tilda
eternal Tilda external sources on this one either, even if
it meant striking the family and friends that are clearly
her friends and not yours from my personal book of
life right along with her Good luck man Redditor follow
up unrelated, but I like your typo admonition from eternal
(13:45):
sources makes it sound like Jesus Christ as they're chewing
you out.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Story four.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Wife broke down crying at dinner table over ex boyfriend
me forty two m, wife forty two f. We have
been married for almost a year together for three scenario
having dinner, eating and drinking wine, just one glass of wine,
not getting drunk. Her daughter twelve, asks about her ex
boyfriend as in what happened why they broke up more
(14:13):
than four years ago? And my wife breaks down at
the table, full on crying, gets up and leaves the table.
We are just stuck in slow motion at the table.
Her daughter says, thought she would have been over that
by now and I say the same. We talk about
it privately, and she says that she was hurt by
him and his betrayal. He left her for another woman,
(14:33):
but four years ago and I'm now married to her.
She says her episode was a result of the pain
from the betrayal, not from feelings for him. I'm having
a hard time with this as it seems like there
are some left over feelings for him she isn't telling
me about. I'm feeling like maybe I'll never live up
to what they had together. Her daughter isn't biologically related
(14:54):
to the x BF. The energy in our house is
very heavy. Help trying to get past it. Update just
for clarity, he didn't.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Cheat on her.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
He did betray her and did leave her for a
good friend of hers. So yeah, a bad situation. They
were living together for five years. I am grateful for
all those who have written in and given their thoughts.
It helps a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I will have a conversation with her about it and
as moving past it. I believe her when she says
she doesn't have feelings any longer for him. It was
just hard last night when my head was spinning from
that episode. So hard to see it that way. Redditor's
reactions story five after Redditor one, when I found out
my then fiance was cheating on me, I threw up.
(15:42):
I still have a very visceral reaction when I think
about that time now, almost nine years later. I am
in a wonderful relationship now and have not a shred
of positive emotion towards my ex, but the feelings were
still very intense and still reverberate sometimes. Redditor follow up
say I love my current partner and have no feelings
(16:03):
for my ex, but the feelings of betrayal and the
psychological damage he caused still lingers. If I have to
see him, or if someone brings him up, I still
react because it was a very negative time in my
life with bad memories. It's more remembering the person I was,
what he put me through that causes distress. Redditor too,
Her daughter took her by surprise and apparently poked a
(16:25):
sore spot when she asked about why they had broken up.
Your wife may very well have been surprised by the
strength of her own reaction. How awkward for her to
be asked that by a child too, and perhaps not
know how to answer without either having to lie or
going into more adult details than you'd want to share
with a twelve year old. Please don't make this into
(16:45):
something about your relationship. Bring your wife some flowers and
try to show that you understand emotions can be a
little messy at times, and that's okay. Bonus, you'll be
showing your wife why the man she married is a
better man than the ashole who cheated too. Follow up
bonus you'll be showing your wife why the man she
married is a better man than the ashole who cheated too.
(17:07):
This part is amazing and so true. She will know that,
and it will touch her heart in a way she
won't forget. Redditor three, A guy left me for another
woman in the most horrible and degrading fashion that I
was upset for years afterwards just thinking about it. If
I was at all unprepared for the memory, I would
have burst out crying too, even while wanting to rip
(17:28):
his stupid face off. The fact that twelve year old
daughter didn't know makes me think she could be one
hundred percent honest and buried that pain with I don't want.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
To talk about it before now.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Kids are curious, though, so eventually daughter thought she could
ask your wife needs someone to talk to who won't
be judgmental about this, like a therapist. Please don't hold
her having feelings against her. Try to problem solve with
her instead of assume the worst about her actions here.
Good luck, redditor.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Follow up. I hope you are right.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
As a woman myself, I think she is an over
her ex. Even it was a painful experience, she should
at least talk about it. I probably should ask the
daughter why she bought it up. Yeah, therapy sounds about right.
Flowers and chocolate isn't never wrong? Story five Ida for
calling the coffee shop to get a hold of my wife,
(18:20):
me thirty seven, her thirty seven, married ten years, no kids,
but have a dog. Well, I day she has a dog,
I just clean up after it. So today I got
to dog sit my own dog, as I like to think,
as we are married in a home, he's my dog too.
As she had a business meeting, she calls the dog
her mtioshinal support animal. I'm not allowed to take him
(18:41):
for walk alone. I used to until I had a
conversation with another woman about wine and hid from her.
So I cheated in her eyes. And when he with
me at my store, I own. I'm supposed to keep
the doors locked and only allowed to leave the store
with him if I ask. So today, good boy, the
dog was pacing back and forth, and all of a sudden,
assets all over my floor, starts to puke. I'm not
(19:02):
allowed to leave. I called my wife twice but nothing,
and so I called the coffee shop she was at.
Now she's mad at me because I called the coffee shop,
and she's upset at me because I called her a
bit for the way she acted. Names are never the answer,
but I don't know what else to say to her.
Am I the a shoal for doing what I did?
Redditor's reactions Redditor one info, What are you just trolling
(19:27):
us right now? You aren't allowed to walk the dog
alone because you spoke to a woman about wine. He
esseits and pukes all over your store, and instead of
taking him to the vet, you have to track her down.
If this is for real, you've got much bigger problems
in your marriage than her being mad that you interrupted
her Latte edited fix typo Redditor follow up. Also, he
(19:49):
said she was at a business meeting today. Why was
it at a cafe? Does she run a cafe? Redditor too.
What in the hell did I just read run away
from Her? T redditor three, WTF you need permission to
leave with a dog even while it needs the bathroom
and she gets mad because you asked for permission for this,
(20:11):
but you need to leave. This sounds so toxic. Ip answer,
I agree, this is toxic. I just need to open
up with a community. Her family does not talk to
her because in her eyes, she's always right. I need
to take back my life and this is step one.
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