Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
People who have had parents walk in on you. What happened?
Story one, So picture this. I am at my boyfriend's
house back when we were both in college. His parents
were home, but we figured we could be sneaky. We
set the scene lights off, family guy playing on low
volume because apparently animated sitcoms are the ultimate stealth soundtrack,
(00:21):
and we were under the covers, lying on our sides.
We were facing the door, which in hindsight was probably
a tactical mistake. Let's just say we were very close
at that moment, not moving much, trying to keep things quiet.
Suddenly the door opens, no knock, no warning. His mom
walks right in like she's on a mission. My heart
(00:44):
nearly stopped, but somehow my face still managed a polite smile.
She proceeds to have a completely normal conversation with us,
like full sentences, questions, follow ups, all about what we
wanted for dinner. Meanwhile, I am doing my best to
look cat usual while also trying not to give away
that my soul had just left my body in pure panic.
(01:06):
My boyfriend's playing it cool too, answering her like nothing's
going on. She eventually leaves, and we just stare at
each other, like, did that really just happen? To this day,
I can't decide if she genuinely didn't notice, or if
she one hundred percent new and was just messing with
us for fun. Honestly, both options are terrifying in their
(01:27):
own way. Story two, So my girlfriend and I were
eighteen and twenty home alone at her house getting it
on in their basement laundry room. We picked the laundry
room because it was the farthest from the front door,
giving us a little heads up if anyone came home.
Plus there was a window facing the driveway so we
could hear a card door close. Well, we didn't hear
(01:49):
anything this time. We were just seconds from finishing when
her dad walks right in. I look up and we
make eye contact. He looks at me and says, you're
not doing laundry, then just walks out. My girlfriend was
shocked and asked, why do he come all the way
down here. She quickly got dressed and went upstairs. Then
I hear her yell, oh my god, and I totally panic,
(02:12):
imagining her dad coming back with bolt cutters or some
power tools because he owns a construction company, so you
never know. I just sat there, staring at the door,
waiting for what felt like forever. Then suddenly there's a
knock on the window. It's her, smiling like crazy, Get
out here, I want to go for a drive. I
(02:33):
am confused, but cautiously walk upstairs and outside, still expecting
some sort of punishment. Turns out her whole family was
in the driveway, mom, dad, brother, grandmother, and they were
there because her parents had just bought her a brand
new Mercedes. Her dad looks at me, says make her
keep it under seventy, and then opens the passenger door
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for me. As he's closing it, he leans over and says,
I didn't tell anyone, you better wear a rubber We left,
got slurpees and finished what we started, but this time
in the back seat of her new car, parked in
a cemetery story three. It was my first time ever,
and we just finished when his mom came home way
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earlier than expected, groceries in hand, headed upstairs. We scrambled
to get dressed, but since I wasn't supposed to be
there with no parents around, he shoved me and my
clothes into his closet to cover the noise of the
closet door. Banging open and shut. He started throwing darts
at it like full on dart practice. When his mom
reached the room and opened the door without knocking, she
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was like, come help me with the groceries. Why are
you red and sweaty? And he just stammered, I just
worked out a little. She was not buying it. After
some back and forth, they locked eyes for a bit,
and I swear I heard her leave. I was stuck
in that closet for twenty to thirty minutes total. Eventually,
he called his mom back up and asked her to
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run an errand to get her out of the house
so I could find it get out later. I asked
my parents if we could push back our camping trip
by a day so I could see him before I
left for a week. Otherwise I wouldn't see him for
three weeks because he was starting a two week skate camp.
They said no. When I told him, he was like,
that's fine. I got what I wanted, so I don't
have to see you for a while. Anyway, he cheated
(04:19):
on me at that camp, and I am pretty sure
about it. Story four. All right, So this wasn't a
parent but it was just as awkward my college roommate.
I'd met this girl on Tinder. Things were going well,
and she came over one night. My roommate and his
girlfriend were upstairs at the time, so naturally my guest
wanted some quality time. I suggested we head upstairs to
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my room for privacy, but she immediately shot that down.
No way, your roommate will know what we're doing. Her solution,
we just stay downstairs on the couch and, in her words,
pull the blanket over us. Not the most fool proof plan,
but sure, we're under the blanket, doing our best to
be subtle. When suddenly here comes my roommate, strolling into
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the kitchen like it's any other day. He starts making food,
completely casual, with his back to us. I am holding
normal conversation with him while also trying to act like
there's nothing unusual happening under the blanket. Meanwhile, she's still active.
But then the twist. He finishes making his food, sits
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down in the chair right next to us, and starts
watching the TV show we had on. Now I am
just frozen in place, trying to keep a straight face,
while she's probably regretting all her life choices. Finally, she
bails on the situation entirely stands up in a hurry,
and in the process. Let's just say it was not
a gentle dismount. I may have aged several years in
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that exact moment. Story five. I was eighteen, home on
a weekend and in the middle of some quality time
with my girlfriend. At the time. We were in my room,
completely in our own world when suddenly my bedroom door
swings open, no knock, just Dad in full dad mode.
For about three seconds, we just froze and stared at
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each other like deer in headlights. Then he breaks the
silence with boy, when you get done, come help me
fix this truck. Before I can even react, he's already
walking down the hall, yelling over his shoulder and hurry up.
Needless to say, the mood was officially gone. We stopped
right there, got dressed, and went outside. Sure enough, my
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dad's under the hood of his old pickup like nothing
unusual just happened. My girlfriend, trying to break the tension,
says I can help too. Turns out her dad was
a mechanic, so she knew her way around tools. My
dad didn't miss a beat, just told her to go
grab the pliers. From the garage. Fast forward a bit,
and here's the crazy part. My dad and her dad
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ended up meeting, talking shop and becoming best friends. So yeah,
a very awkward moment turned into two dad's bombs over
cars and me never living that story down Story six. So,
my boyfriend and I were both twenty hanging out at
my parents house on a Sunday afternoon. Both my parents
were home and the door to my room was wide open.
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A bit of backstory. I am asexual and wasn't really
into physical intimacy, but I agreed to try it with
him just to get it over with after my previous breakup.
He wasn't exactly on the same page though, anyway. He
starts trying to get fresh with me, and I am like, bro,
no way, parents are right here. He says he'll be quick.
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Then I hear my mom clearing her throat. I just
know she's about to walk down the hallway to drop
off laundry. I tell him to stop because we're about
to get caught, but he keeps going. My mom walks in,
starts talking about laundry, baskets and sheets, then stops mid sentence.
She and I lock eyes and I swear she stifles
a giggle. She sets the basket down, shakes her head,
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and heads for the Then she stops, turns back around,
points at me, covers her mouth to hide a smile,
and scurries out, leaving the door wide open. I spun
around to my boyfriend, like, what the heck? He just
shrugged and said, well, I slowed down. You don't think
she really saw anything, do you. He left a little
while later, and when I walked back to my room,
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I crossed paths with my mom. She had this smug
grin and asked, do you want to talk about it?
I just stormed past her, wanting to disappear. She made
these giant cartoon eyes at me and said, your eyes
were like dinner plates. The next day, I found a
box of variety pack rubber with a note in her
perfect handwriting, I wasn't sure your preferred brand, so I
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got a mix. Don't make that boy my son in
law please. Story seven This happened at my girlfriend's place
a few years ago. We were in her room, mid
romantic moment and things were progressing nicely. I still had
my shirt on, but she was completely under the sheets.
Out of nowhere, there's a knock on the door. Panic
(09:05):
mode instantly activated. I sit up straight in bed, making
sure only my upper body is visible, trying to look
as casual as possible. Her mom walks in, not with suspicion,
not with a lecture, but carrying our newborn niece. She
says she needs to step away for a minute and
just hands me the baby. So now here, I am
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sitting in bed under the blanket, very much in an
awkward position, holding a two month old like it's the
most normal thing in the world. My girlfriend and I
are trying so hard not to laugh, which of course
just makes it worse. A couple of minutes later, her
mom comes back, totally relaxed, makes small talk, takes the
baby from me, and leaves no weird looks, no questions.
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I honestly think she had no idea. To this day,
we both agree that was the single strangest and most
absurdly timed situation we've ever been in together. Story eight.
I was eighteen and my mom came home earlier than expected.
My girlfriend and I had just wrapped things up. I
am talking maybe fifteen twenty seconds before the door opened.
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I am still catching my breath when my bedroom door
swings open. We both freeze. There's this awkward three second
stare off where neither of us says anything, and then
she just quietly closes the door and walks away. Later
that night, I am in the kitchen getting a drink
and she casually drops this one liner, please tell me
you wore a rubber. I am too young for grandchildren.
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No follow up questions, no lecture, just straight to the
point and back to watching TV like nothing happened. Story nine.
We were doing the deed when we heard some one
coming toward her room. We froze, quickly stopped and pretended
to just be watching TV in bed. Her mom walks in,
gives us a weird look, then says, you know what,
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not important right now, and just turns around and leaves.
A minute later, the door opens just a crack. A
hand sneaks in and flicks a box of condoms on
to the bed. No words, just a message sent loud
and clear, same X, different time. Her parents and sister
went out to grab mc donald's for all of us,
so we figured we could sneak in a quickie. Thought
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we were being slick, but nope, Before we knew it,
the door just opens a little again, and two mc
flurries magically appear on her bookcase. Then the door shuts.
The look her dad gave me that day, I was
pretty sure my life was over. After that, she got
a key to her bedroom. Story ten. This was at
my wife's parents place, back when we were still living
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with them temporarily. We were in our room, door closed,
and things were getting very heated. At the exact worst
possible moment, I hear the door swing open and her
mom's voice go oh uh oh no. I look up
and both of her parents are standing there in the door,
eyes wide, clearly realizing they just walked straight into a
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scene they never wanted to see. They both quickly spun around,
closed the door, and left without another word. My wife
and I just sat there and stunned silence for a
few seconds before the reality hit that really happened. Honestly,
the only silver lining was that we were already married.
I can imagine the awkwardness if we hadn't been Story
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eleven back in my teen years and ex invited me
over while her parents were out. Her younger siblings were home,
just hanging out in the living room watching TV, so
we quietly slipped away to her room to have some
private time. Things were going fine until her younger brother,
without knocking, walked right in instant panic. He didn't scream
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or freak out, just calmly walked out and then immediately
went to tell their parents. Later that day, her dad
gets home and asks me if we can talk. I
am thinking, well, here it comes, this is the moment
I die, But surprisingly he was super calm about it.
He basically said he knew he couldn't stop us from
doing what we do, but he wanted to make sure
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we were being safe and that I was treating his
daughter with respect. Then he suggested, for everyone's sanity, maybe
next time we should lock the door. Honestly, it ended
up being the most real birds in the Bees conversation
I ever got, way more than my own parents ever
gave me. My parent's version was literally just don't be stupid.
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Story twelve. This was my very first time eating my
girlfriend's tacos. She was lying on the bed and things
were getting let's say, exciting. Suddenly there's a knock at
the door. In record breaking reaction time, I am talking
point zero zero zero zero five seconds, she yanks her
skirt back down while I sit up like I've just
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been caught doing a crime. Her mom opens the door
a second later and is immediately greeted by the sight
of two young adults looking like we just ran a marathon, faces, red,
guilty expressions the whole thing. She just pauses, gives us
a very calm, but pointed please leave the door open,
and walks away. After that, we definitely made sure to
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be a lot more discreet lesson learned Story thirteen. This
was back when I was dating my ex and we
were at her place one afternoon. Let's just say we
were not being quiet, so much so that we didn't
even hear her mom come home. We're mid action when
the door swings open. I basically launch myself off the
bed like I am in an Olympic event, and we
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both dive under the covers like nothing suspicious could possibly
be going on. Her mom just stands there for a second,
laughing and says, what were you guys up to? Que
the most painfully awkward silence of my life. But she
doesn't leave. Nope, she walks right over, sits down on
the bed next to us, and starts chatting about plans
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for an upcoming family holiday. I am lying there trying
to keep a straight face with only one, one very
thin sheet separating me from utter humiliation. Never in my
life have I wanted to evaporate into thin air more
than in that moment. Story fourteen, I met this girl,
things clicked quickly, and after our second date, I ended
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up staying over at her place. She lived with her parents,
But she forgot to mention one important detail. Her dad
has a habit of dropping their pug onto her bed
before work every morning around four a m. Now, I
am one of those people who sometimes wakes up in
the middle of the night in the mood, and sure
enough that night was one of those times. So there
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we are, in the middle of things. When her bedroom
door opens. She immediately leans her head into the side
of my neck, probably trying to hide her face, which
leaves me just staring straight at her dad. For reasons
I will never fully understand, I instinctively bit her ear
while still making eye contact with him. He just pauses
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for a beat, says, oh, I see what's going on here,
and calmly leaves. We dated for nine years after that,
and he never brought it up once. Honestly, he was
a really cool guy. Unfortunately, things ended badly. She cheated
on me with someone older than her dad and got pregnant.
The worst part, her mom had also cheated on her dad.
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One day, her dad gave me this heartbreaking but honest
pep talk, telling me to leave his daughter so my
life wouldn't end up like his. The apple didn't fall
far from the tree, and I left not long after
Story fifteen. So this one time, a girl invited me
over for dinner to meet her dad. Things were going great,
and later we ended up hanging out in her room.
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Her dad mentioned he was about to run an errand
and would be leaving soon. I figured we should probably
wait until he left before doing anything too crazy. I
told her, hey, let's wait until your dad leaves first.
But nope, she started begging me to romance right then
and there. She beggs so much that I finally gave in,
mostly because I wasn't in the mood but didn't want
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to deal with the drama. And wouldn't you know it,
just as things are getting started, her dad walks in
and catches the whole thing. I am pretty sure he
got an up close and personal look at the situation.
No modesty involved. Honestly, I don't know why she couldn't wait.
All I really wanted was a quick nap before my
night shift. Instead, I got the most awkward family encounter
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of my life. Story sixteen. I was sixteen dating this
girl I met at work, and we snuck into my
room while my parents were asleep. We were messing around,
trying to keep it quiet, when suddenly my dad just
walks in. He looks at us, says, oh, like it
was the most casual thing in the world, and then
just closes the door behind him. No yelling, no lecture.
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We just shrugged and carried on. But here's the kicker.
About an hour later, after I walked my girlfriend out,
I closed the front door really quietly. Then suddenly the
living room light pops on and there's my dad sitting
in his chair with two cold beers. He looks at
me and says, sit down, sun. So how was it?
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We ended up sharing those beers, talking like nothing weird
just happened. He never said a word to my mom. Honestly,
my dad was pretty awesome about it all. Story seventeen. Okay,
so we weren't exactly walked in on, but it was close.
One summer I was living with my girlfriend at her
parents' house, staying in the spare room down in the basement.
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One weekend afternoon, I am doing laundry and watching TV
when she comes down and says, want to play that
really intense video game. We head to my room, shut
the door, and let's just say we went all in,
mashing buttons, yelling the whole nine yards. At one point,
she got so into it she was practically shouting at
the screen. When we finally finished the level, we opened
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the door and there was my laundry, all neatly folded,
sitting right out outside. Message sent, Message received. Story eighteen.
This one's a bit heavier than the usual stories. I
was adopted when I was ten by a very ultra
religious family. When I was caught with a girl, my
dad found out and grounded me for months. I missed
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my prom because of it. To make matters worse, the
girl's mom got really upset with my parents for being
so strict and petty that they ended up costing her
daughter that prom night. After that, my parents never really
trusted me again. Everything I said was met with suspicion,
like I was always lying. There were physical confrontations a
lot of tension, and I started sneaking out just to
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see my girlfriend. My home life was so stressful it
spilled over into school and I acted out. I even
ended up in jail a few times. Eventually I got
out and moved to another country. Now, almost twenty years later,
my parents have to fly out to visit their grandchildren. Honestly,
I don't think any of us have fully healed from
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all the so At story nineteen. This was the first
time my girlfriend and I were relaxing on the couch
in this new addition to the house, basically a movie
and gathering room at the end of a hallway. The
room had a glass door, and I noticed the hallway
light flick on, so I quickly scooted over and pulled
the blanket up like we were hiding state secrets. Then,
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to make things way worse, my mom walks in with
four of her friends, all wanting to check out the
new room at eight in the evening of all times.
They all sat at the other end of the couch
and proceeded to ask us what we were watching, then
went on and on about how nice the new room looked.
It was one of the most excruciating and awkward experiences
of my life. Story twenty My fiance and I were
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staying in a motel. Yeah, not the most glamorous situation,
and we were in the middle of things when her
dad unexpectedly came in. She just said sorry, Dad, and
he closed the door without making a big deal out
of it. She was so embarrassed that she ended up
crying in the shower, and I did my best to
comfort her. Afterwards, her dad sat us down and said
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something surprisingly understanding. Hey, it's okay, this is what adults do.
Just next time, lock the door. The funny and frustrating
part was we couldn't really lock the door, since he
had a key card to get in any time he
wanted classic motel life. All in all, he was way
more understanding than we expected, which made a tough moment
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a little easier to handle. Story twenty one. So this
one time, my dad literally walked in on me and
my boyfriend while we were in the middle of Scooby
Doo style game. I was totally caught up in the moment,
but also complaining about some serious back pain. I'd had
a really rough week doing construction work. I didn't even
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see my dad come in since I was facing away,
but then he just yells from behind me let him
use the back door, works wonders for the back and
then basically ran downstairs like it was some kind of
emergency dinner. That night was super awkward, to say the least,
But here's the funny part. Years later, I ended up
marrying that same boyfriend and we still laugh about that
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exact moment. Story twenty two, when I was twenty, I
was at my then girl friend now wife's dad's house.
For some reason, he went to bed early and basically
left us unsupervised downstairs. So naturally we did what people
do in that situation and got to it. About fifteen
minutes in, her dad suddenly comes downstairs. I jumped off immediately,
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and he just doubled back upstairs without saying a word.
I didn't stick around much longer after that. I kind
of avoided going to her place for a while. I
wasn't exactly looking forward to any awkward fallout. But then
one day at work, where I was flipping burgers at
a fast food joint, her dad came up to me.
He basically said it was on him that he should
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have known better than to just barge in on a
couple of twenty year olds and that he totally understood.
There was no anger at all, and he told me
I was still welcome at their house. This was back
in two thousand and eight, so honestly, everything worked out
in the long run. Story twenty three. I grew up
on a farm, and from my bedroom window I could
see anyone coming down the road with plenty of time
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to get dressed before they reached the house. One day,
my girlfriend and I were having an intense jumping match
in my room and I saw my dad's truck coming
down the road. I figured I had enough time to
finish up and get dressed before he got there. Nope, Instead,
he gunned it and practically ran straight into the house.
I didn't even try to get dressed. I just went
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to hold the door shut so she could get dressed
in peace. My dad was pushing and trying to get
the door open, but she managed to get dressed and
then I finally let him in. It was honestly one
of the weirdest moments ever. Now he likes to bring
it up every once in a while, and I just
remind him he was being a weirdo for barging in
like that story twenty four So, my wife and I
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were in the first year of our relationship and she
was staying over at my house while I still lived
with my dad. My parents were separated, but my mom
would come by sometimes to grab stuff she left behind.
One weekend, we had the house to ourselves and were
getting pretty cozy on the couch, kissing if you will.
Suddenly the front door opens, no knock, no door bell,
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and my mom walks in and sees us right there.
She just says, oh, my God and leaves immediately. We
were still in the mood, so we kept going, but
then just five minutes later she comes back. At that point,
we decided to bail and head to my room. What
followed was a complete meltdown. She started screaming, calling us
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awful names, and then began breaking things around the house,
stabbing the walls, throwing lamps, breaking headlights on my truck.
I ended up calling the police because things got out
of control. The cops made her leave, and thankfully I
didn't press charges. Later that night, I heard some loud
bangs outside and saw a car speeding off. Both my
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truck's rear tires were slashed. It's been years since, but
she still hasn't forgiven me for calling the cops. She
even mentioned it last year and things got so heated
that she pulled a pistol on me during one of
her outbursts. It was definitely one of the most intense
and scary experiences I've ever been through. Story twenty five.
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My dad had this habit of just walking in through
my door at any time. There were no locks on
the door, so yeah, it happened more than once. One time,
my girlfriend and I had just finished and I was
getting ready to head out while she was still lying
there in my bed. I am putting on my shirt
and I accidentally knocked the ceiling lamp off its socket.
It bounced right on my head then hit the floor,
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shattering everywhere. My dad bursts into the room just as
all this is happening, and the last thing he sees
is my girlfriend diving under the covers in a blink.
Also a funny side note, my sister once told me
to never use strawberry scented rubber because they stink up
the room, and she definitely didn't want to know when
I was having a private time up with my girlfriends
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Story twenty six. So my partner and I thought we
were being all clever getting down to business late at
night with the lights on, because hey, our kids are
sound sleepers, right, four year old and two year old.
Usually nothing wakes them. You could literally fire a cannon
next door and they just keep snoozing. Our bedroom is
upstairs and doesn't have a door. We keep it open
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so we can hear the kids if they wake up
from a nightmare or whatever. Anyway, mid move and completely
in the zone out of nowhere, our four year old
just stands next to the bed, dead silent, just staring.
Then she drops this gem. There's a mosquito in my
roomque us hiding under the sheets, trying to decide if
we should disappear into the mattress, questioning every life choice. Ever,
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eventually I managed to kill the mosquito and saved what
was left of the mood. We then had to explain
that situation to our kid in a way a four
year old might understand, which, honestly, no amount of parenting
prep could have readied us. For now, we're praying to
Bob Ross and Harambe that she doesn't tell her friends
or re enact any of it at school. Story twenty seven.
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When I was eighteen, My girlfriend and I knew long
distance wasn't going to work, so we decided to just
enjoy the time we had before I moved abroad. On
our last night together, we got into some passionate goodbye romance.
She was in the mood when suddenly her mom opens
the door. My girlfriend just freezes like a deer caught
in headlights, locked eyes with her mom for what felt
(27:40):
like forever, probably just a few seconds before her mom
calmly says, I am going to the store, won't be
back for at least an hour and walks away. We
had three hours of uninterrupted time, set our goodbyes, and
I left, no awkward conversations needed. Thank God for that story.
Twenty eight So this didn't have happened to me, but
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my brother got caught in a pretty awkward situation and
I actually witnessed the whole thing. His room was right
across from mine. He was hanging out with his then girlfriend,
door closed, and I was just playing video games in
my room. Then my mom comes upstairs carrying a pizza,
wanting to surprise them and ask if they wanted any
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She opens the door with the pizza in hand, but
before she can even finish asking, she realizes what's going
on and immediately says oops, sorry and quickly leaves the
room with a shocked look on her face. Later, my
brother told me what happened. From his perspective. He said
he and his girlfriend had been together a bit earlier
and she had put some clothes back on, but he
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hadn't fully dressed yet. He got a little excited again,
and by the time mom walked in, he was sitting there,
clearly caught in the middle of a private moment. Needless
to say, that pizza delivery didn't go quite as planned.
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