What is the trashiest thing somebody has done at your family Thanksgiving?

What is the trashiest thing somebody has done at your family Thanksgiving?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
What is the trashiest thing somebody has done at your family? Thanksgiving?
Story one. My uncle and grandfather didn't have a good
relationship but tolerated each other because of Thanksgiving. My uncle
was cooking lasagna and my grandfather decided to help by
grating the cheese. He did this in another room because
the kitchen was full of people cooking. We have a
big Thanksgiving, maybe fifteen to twenty people who loved to eat.

(00:23):
I brought in the cheese and everything was going fine.
Flash forward to dinnertime. The food was coming out, and
as tradition dictates, we always start with lasagna. My grandfather
made some joke like I know you hate me, but
at least I'm great, and that's when things took a turn.
My uncle went into a full blown rage, yelling at
everyone for not telling him he was using tainted cheese.

(00:46):
Then he said forget it and proceeded to flip the
table with all the food on it. My grandfather called
him outside to settle the score, which resulted in two
grown men fist fighting in the backyard. It ended with
my grandfather being thrown into the pond behind our house house,
where he cut his leg on a jagged rock. The
rest of us ordered Chinese food, kicked my uncle out,

(01:06):
and my grandfather refused to go to the hospital because
he had a little too much holiday joy in him
at the time. Surprisingly, my uncle hasn't come to Thanksgiving
in years now. Story two. My uncle, who had been
hiding in Haiti for years during the Babydock days, somehow
snuck back into the country and showed up for Thanksgiving.
Not even forty five minutes later, a bunch of federal

(01:27):
agents busted in and took him away. I was maybe
eleven or twelve. No one ever explained the whole story
to me.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Edit.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
I talked to Mom while driving her to my sister's house.
They prosecuted him under the Rico Act for moving money
in and out of Haiti for baby doc According to
my mom, I didn't see him much, and this happened
when I was young. He was ridiculously intelligent, but was
crooked from the start. He moved millions of dollars around
while the people in Haiti struggled to eat. He was

(01:56):
absolutely one of those people who worked harder at avoiding
work than actually doing anything useful for society. They searched
our house too, and took all my dad's guns. He
was an avid deer and pheasant hunter. He didn't get
them back for.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Over a year.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
I do remember him getting a new deer rifle around
that time, but like I said, I was young and
had the attention span of a gnat. Story three, my
aunt got drunk and then naked. She ran down the
streets stark naked after hitting on my cousin's boyfriend. Her
kids saw it all. They were all under the age
of twelve. She then cried the whole next day because
everyone was mad at her. I called CPS because she

(02:33):
tried driving drunk with the kids. A few weeks later,
she got drunk again at the same house by the pool.
She lost her balance when she stepped into the pool filter.
She first hit the pool, but caught herself with the
hand that was holding a glass beer bottle. The shards
of glass ended up embedded in her cheek and neck.
After hitting the ground and passing out, she rolled into
the pool and would have drowned if others hadn't fished

(02:54):
her out. She is still an alcoholic. She's not invited
to Thanksgivings anymore because she now does meth.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Update.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
My family thought it was hilarious that this got so
much attention. I'm at my mom's family's house, and this
story was about my dad's sister. My mom's family is
way more country, just with fewer addiction problems. Also, my
family said I got the story backwards. The pool incident
happened first, she had stitches on her face and neck
when she ran down the street naked. And no, she's

(03:26):
not attractive for those asking update. After years of no contact,
she showed up at my parents' house two days ago.
She had been homeless for twelve days living in her car.
She kicked her ex con boyfriend out of the car
for the night just to park in my parents driveway.
After a few hours, she went back to him, likely
because she needed to get high. Also, she got fired

(03:47):
from another nursing job. Another job let her go without
reporting her story. For every Thanksgiving with my mother in
law's and experience, my wife and I host with about
fifteen people coming over and everyone ring side dishes as
is the custom. Not her mother, she only brings food
for herself. She proudly announces that whatever she brought is

(04:07):
just for her. It's not for dietary reasons. She eats
all the other food too. When dessert makes an appearance,
she always makes a big scene about wanting the first
piece instead of letting the kids go first. One year,
there was a big argument about the corner pieces of
a chocolate cake. As usual, she went first, cut herself
two corner pieces and took them both. If you want

(04:28):
to make little kids cry, that's how you do it.
She refused to give them up. Also, she treats our
guest room and bathroom like a hotel. When she leaves,
she takes the toilet, paper rolls, the kleenex box, paper towels, soap, everything.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
Edit.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
Just to address some of the comments in one swoop,
she's not overweight, and she's not senile. She gets invited
every year because my wife is the only family she has,
and my wife would feel incredibly guilty if she didn't
invite her. Not much of an excuse, but that's why.
And if you're horrified by what I've described, this is

(05:03):
just the tip of the iceberg. I could really make
your head spin with her behavior during the other three
hundred and sixty four days of the year. Eat it too.
Here are some additional examples I posted in response to
a comment below. A local bank used to have a
summer promotion where they kept a freezer stocked with free
ice cream bars for customers. She got banned from the

(05:24):
bank because she would go there every day, take two
ice cream bars and bring them home. She wasn't even
a customer at the bank. Eventually they told her not
to come back. In the twenty or so years I've
been with my wife, her mother has never offered to
cook a meal, pay for a meal, watch our kids,
or help with them in any way. The last time

(05:44):
she was invited here, she brought half a tray of pastries.
My wife asked her about it, and it turned out
she had taken the leftover pastries from a party after
they had been picked over. Who knows what had happened
to them. We told her to throw them out, but
she just put them back in her car. Also, if
she's at a restaurant and sees a birthday party, she
will walk over to their table and ask if she

(06:05):
can have a piece of their cake. I'm not joking.
She has a real thing for cake. She stole my
mother's prescription eyeglasses last Christmas when they were both at
our house, claiming she thought they were hers. Hers were
black reading glasses. My mother's were red prescription glasses. After
getting caught, she planted a black sweater in my mom's
guest room and made a big deal about my mom's

(06:27):
supposedly taking her belongings. She once showed up unannounced on
one of our vacations, brought a friend, and expected us
to take them both to dinner five minutes after we arrived.
We don't tell her when we go on vacation anymore.
Story five. I was at my wife's uncle's house for Thanksgiving,
and his wife decided that right after dinner would be
the perfect time to play their wedding video since it

(06:49):
was also their anniversary weekend. She spent half an hour
searching for the tape, finally found it, and gathered the
whole dinner party about twenty five people in the back
room to watch it. The video starts playing and as
she's walking down the aisle midway through, the screen goes
fuzzy and then cuts to Dale Earnhardt's funeral. Turns out

(07:10):
Uncle Joe had recorded over their wedding video with Dale
Earnhardt's funeral. Granted, this was in smalltown Michigan, near the
NASCAR track, but still, everyone froze in complete shock. I
started laughing and felt like I was in a sitcom,
but it was real life. Story six. Every year we
had Thanksgiving at my grandparents house. One year, everyone was

(07:31):
there except for one aunt. She was sitting outside in
her car, refusing to come in. Turns out, my cousin
had just found out on the drive over that my
aunt had taken out a credit card in her name
while she was in the Navy. My aunt had racked
up over ten thousand dollars in debt in my cousin's name. Edit,
my cousin didn't have to pay her father made my

(07:52):
aunt's mother use part of her retirement to pay it off.
This was just one of the first signs that my
aunt wasn't in her right mind anymore. My cousin didn't
want to press charges, but was able to rebuild her
credit after the debt was paid. There were other things
my aunt had done, but nothing quite like this. Unfortunately,
her mental state only got worse. That Thanksgiving was one

(08:13):
of the last times our family gathered like that. My uncle,
aunt and cousins never came back for Thanksgiving again. They
visited it at other times, but by then my aunt
was medicated and no longer the same person. Story seven
pudding wars. As a child, my grandmother would make banana
pudding for Thanksgiving, homemade custard, merangue, the works. Every year,

(08:34):
my mom and her brother would compete to make sure
the other didn't get the pudding. One year, my uncle
even broke into our house just to steal it. My
grandma started making decoy puddings and hiding the real one.
But one year, one year takes the cake. My grandma
refused to make the beloved pudding. My great aunt stepped
in and offered to make it instead. She showed up
putting in hand, and the moment she walked in, my

(08:57):
mom grabbed the entire tray, ran in to my grandmother's
bedroom and shouted for my younger cousin to get her
a spoon. She locked herself in the room, fully intending
to eat the entire thing. Unfortunately, my great aunt can't cook.
Instead of a smooth, creamy custard, the pudding had bits
of scrambled egg yolk in it. This happens if you
heat the custard too fast and don't continuously stir it.

(09:20):
Mom returned moments later, disappointed, and ate her turkey in
sullen silence. Story eight. So this was actually Christmas in Ireland.
Close enough. I had started seeing the Swedish girl. I
knew she was a little wild, but she told me
she was alone for Christmas, so I invited her to
spend a few days with my large Irish family. On
Christmas Day, she and my sisters started drinking muld wine

(09:43):
pretty early. I got concerned because I knew she couldn't
handle her alcohol well. I stepped out to visit a
neighbor for a while, and when I came back, she
was lying on the kitchen floor with her arm around
my dog, and both of them were howling like wolves
and heat. My sisters were laughing so hard they could
barely breathe. My dad, standing behind me, just patted me

(10:03):
on the shoulder twice and said, that's my lad. That
was fifteen years ago, and my family still brings it
up every year. Story nine. This was years ago when
electric ice cream makers were still relatively new, or at
least when affordable ones were new. For Thanksgiving, my wife's
family decided that instead of baking desserts, we would all
make homemade ice cream after dinner. We used high quality

(10:25):
ingredients and made some really great ice cream. It was
a lot of fun and all the kids enjoyed the process.
But when we finished making the ice cream, my wife's
aunt put it aside and proceeded to pull out a generic,
store brand ice cream to serve the kids. She explained
that the homemade ice cream was only for the adults
because kids can't appreciate the good stuff anyway. Maybe that

(10:45):
was true, but the kids really wanted to eat the
ice cream simply because they had made it themselves. They
were disappointed, and some even shed a few tears. I
spoke up and said, don't be heartless. Let the kids
have at least a little bit of what they made.
In my family, holidays are about making the kids happy
and enjoying their excitement. My wife's ans refused to listen

(11:07):
and gave me grief, saying, you don't understand. You don't
have kids. I responded, yeah, but I was a kid,
and I know how awful I would feel. They doubled down,
insisting there wasn't enough to go around. The kids get
the store bought ice cream. If you want them to
have some so badly, then you can share your portion
with them. I said, all right, then, Oki, dokie, that's

(11:30):
what I'll do. When I went to serve myself, I
grabbed a giant salable, filled it all the way to
the top, grabbed six spoons, and sat at the kid's table.
We all pigged out on my portion. By the time
we were done, there was hardly any homemade ice cream left,
So what did the adults have to do? Pull out
the cheap ice cream? Sulking while trying to maintain their dignity.

(11:51):
It was pretty much angry silence for the next hour
until we left. I was worried my wife would be
mad at me when we got in the car, but
instead her ass off and told me she loved me.
Story ten. My aunt, who had been married multiple times
and had a reputation for being let's just say, less
than virtuous, nastily told my sister she was going to

(12:12):
hell for living with her fiance before marriage. She berated
her for several minutes about sinning and morality. While they
were at my grandmother's house cooking. My sister, in tears,
ran home. We live in the middle of nowhere, and
our houses are separated by small pastures. Cue my dad
jumping three fences to go kick them out of my
grandmother's house. It was quite the scene for the neighbors, yelling, screaming,

(12:35):
my sister running one way, my dad charging the other,
leaping over fences like an Olympic athlete. When he got
to my grandmother's house, more shouting ensued. We took all
of our turkeys across the pasture to another aunt's house
while my aunt and her crew had to order pizza
and pack their bags to go home. They never came
back for a holiday dinner. Edit to clarify the layout,

(12:56):
Our area consists of two roads that cross with lots
of fens and staff pastures. At the time, my dad's
sister lived across the pastures from my mom's mom, which
was also adjacent to our house. Think of a triangle.
There were about three fences between my grandmother's house and ours.
My mother's sister was at my grandmother's house when all
this went down. So picture my father running across the pastures,

(13:18):
jumping fences and yelling. My sister was running in the
opposite direction, crying. More shouting followed when my dad reached
the house. We still enjoyed telling this story now that
we're older, and just for fun, I also accidentally set
those same pastures on fire two thanksgivings ago, Story eleven.
One time, my roommates and I hosted a friends giving.

(13:39):
People brought wine so much wine that we ran out
of counter space and had to start leaving bottles on
the porch. After dinner, when everyone was already pretty tipsy,
my coworkers showed up with a massive blue water cooler
jug filled with homemade wine that his dad had brewed.
It wasn't very good, but once we polished off the
original sixty or so bottles. Seriously, there were like forty

(14:02):
people at this party, and everyone brought at least one bottle.
We broke into the jug wine. The next morning, I
woke up in my own bed with two of my friends.
I emerged to a scene of absolute carnage. People passed
out on the couch, on the floor, even in chairs.
One guy I hadn't seen since high school was curled
up asleep in the corner. I didn't even remember seeing

(14:23):
him the night before. Half eaten pies littered the tables
as if people had just grabbed handfuls straight from them.
Crusty dishes covered every surface. There were broken glasses, empty bottles,
wine stains on the floor, half smoke joints put out
in beer caps, and somehow that damned jug still had
a couple of gallons of wine left in it. It

(14:43):
was one of the best nights of my twenties. Story twelve.
It didn't happen at the dinner itself, but Miane invited
all of us to her family's house, which was out
of state, for Thanksgiving. She insisted that they would provide everything,
so we offered to bring something as a thank you.
She refused, saying we didn't need to bring anything. Dinner
was great, and overall it was a wonderful Thanksgiving. Then

(15:06):
about a month later, we got a letter from my
aunt saying we owed her seventy five dollars per person
to cover the cost of the meal. My parents were furious.
We had spent a lot of money just to travel
to see her, and had even offered to bring food
to lighten her load. If she had told people upfront
that she expected payment, that would have been one thing,
But waiting a month and then sending a bill that

(15:29):
was a whole different story. Story thirteen. I have a
large family on my father's side. He is number three
of ten siblings, and all of them have multiple children
my cousins. At one Thanksgiving, I was casually talking to
one of my female cousins about where she was going
to school. Out of nowhere, her new boyfriend took offense.
He thought I was some guy hitting on his girlfriend.

(15:50):
Mind you, there were sixty plus people at this gathering.
I laughed it off and said, hey, man, she's my cousin.
Don't worry. Trying to be friendly. Now home moonshine had
been going around for about three hours and this guy
was visibly drunk. Instead of calming down, he immediately swung
at me, missed, and accidentally punched one of my aunts
in the back of the head.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
That was the moment all hell broke loose.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
Several family members jumped in and before I knew it,
a full on brawl had erupted. My grandmother was screaming,
people were throwing punches, and I got caught in the mix.
In the end, my cousin had to take her boyfriend
to the er. Several family members ended up there too,
not just because of him, but because they got into
fights with each other. And to top it all off,

(16:35):
dinner never even got served because In the chaos, the
large serving table got knocked over, spilling everything. It was
a mess, but looking back, it makes for a hell
of a story. Story fourteen. My now husband's stepsister got
into a huge fight with their cousin in the middle
of dinner. I don't even remember what the cousin said. First,
they were arguing over a bad drug deal, but all

(16:57):
of a sudden we heard her shout, well, do you
know what else is trashy? Not knowing who your baby
daddy is. The cousin was so furious that she threw
a beer bottle across the table. It took three grown
men to hold them both back. To top it off,
my husband's drunk bad uncle grab my ass. Since it
was my first time meeting his family, I was too
shy and scared to make a big deal out of it. Ironically,

(17:20):
before the trip, I was worried, sick that they'd think
I was trailer trash and not classy enough for them.
I'm from northern Florida and they're in the Midwest.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Nope.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Story fifteen. Oh man, I know I'm late, but I
have a story. My dad passed away in August of
twenty eleven. That Thanksgiving my mom, my boyfriend, and I
went to visit my dad's brother. I was seventeen at
the time. All three of us worked in special education
with severely disabled students, something I was and still am,
very passionate about. The visit started with my aunt and

(17:52):
uncle calling my beloved students slurs, saying they were a
burden on society and a waste of school funding. They
claim resources should go to the normal kids who would
actually grow up and be useful. So yeah, great start.
Then my aunt's father, not related to us at all,
showed up and started grilling my recently widowed mother about
when she was going to start dating again, was she

(18:13):
going to remarry? Why or why not? Why didn't she know?
Just endless invasive questions. It was by far the most
uncomfortable and infuriating holiday I've ever experienced. Story sixteen. Holy crap,
I'm late, but I have a story. My stepdad wanted
to use his day off to drive thirty miles to
an airport where he had just gotten gatecodes.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
From his job.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
Why to steal a bunch of fencing that was clearly
set aside for a replacement project, And apparently he needed
my mom and me to help. I was thirteen at
the time, just starting to develop my own sense of
right and wrong, so I refused. This made him furious
because I was refusing to help. He told me I
could walk home and literally drove away. My mom refused

(18:57):
to get in the truck, so she stayed and walked
with me. We walked for about an hour, making it
back to the main road. At this point, my stepdad
suddenly showed up again. I was tired and ready to
give up, but my mom wasn't having it. My sister
was in the truck, likely brought as leverage, but it
wasn't working. While my stepdad was pulled over shouting at
us to get in, a station wagon stopped and asked

(19:19):
if we were okay. My mom immediately said yes and
got us in the car. There was also a very
happy dog in the back seat, which became my emotional
support for the rest of the night as I processed
what had just happened. The next morning, we finally gave
my stepdad our location since we had made our point.
Turns out he knew the woman who helped us. They
were old biker buddies. After that, we packed up and

(19:41):
flew to Texas to spend Thanksgiving with my grandma, just
as originally planned. Story seventeen. My mother is in her
early seventies. A week before Thanksgiving, she called my brothers
and me to talk about dinner. I was the first
she called, youngest of three brothers. She sounded tired, so
I told her not to stress, and SI suggested that
instead of the traditional turkey dinner, she could just make

(20:03):
a lasagna. She already had sauce in the freezer and
it would be low effort, easy peasy. She thought it
was a great idea, so did. I. Cut to Thanksgiving day.
I show up at my mom's house and she has
made both the traditional turkey dinner and the lasagna. Turns out,
my older brother, the middle child, forty two years old,
told her that Thanksgiving was for tradition and that lasagna

(20:25):
was unacceptable. Instead of simplifying things for herself, she ended
up making everything. Then my brother shows up without his
girlfriend and only one of his three kids. We ask
where she is and he says she stayed home because
lasagna gives her heartburn. Then he sees the food and
loses his mind. He starts yelling at my mom about
how she didn't tell him she was making the traditional supper.

(20:47):
He storms out, dragging his kid with him. My mom,
standing on the balcony, was screaming his name and begging
him to come back inside. He ignored her, packed up
his kid, and left. She walked back inside sobbing. That
look look on her face broke all of our hearts.
We spent the night consoling her and eating way too
much food. To this day, my brother still believes he

(21:07):
did nothing wrong. Story eighteen. It was an ambush Thanksgiving.
A friend didn't have money for food, so a bunch
of us pitched in to surprise her and her kids
with a full Thanksgiving meal. We found out they had
maybe a few sandwiches to share. Her ex had just left,
but had somehow left behind most of his stuff. So
imagine South Carolina. A bunch of trucks pull up in

(21:28):
her yard. People bum rushed the house with food and decorations,
and of course set up a massive bonfire to burn
the exes left over junk, including a fiberglass boat. The flames,
the booze, the sheer chaos off the charts. There may
or may not have been some homemade liquor involved. There
was definitely a fried Turkey. Most of us slept in

(21:49):
our trucks that night. The next morning, a neighbor called
us trash, But whatever, that was one hell of a Thanksgiving.
Sometimes what some people call trash is just another word
for family story. Nineteen Maanne had a brain aneurysm about
a decade ago. She survived, but mentally she was never
the same. She's classified as mentally handicapped. Now, two years ago,

(22:12):
our whole family decided to do one of those mannequin
challenge videos. She was confused when we explained it, but
understood that she just had to stay still no matter what.
So during the video she sat perfectly still on the
couch with her eyes closed. When we finished, we were
all talking and laughing, but she didn't move. We told
her it was over, she could get up now nothing.

(22:34):
We kept calling her name. Her son ran up and
shouted her name.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Nothing.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
We started shaking her, poking her. Nothing. At this point
we thought the worst. Someone called nine one one. Half
the family was crying or screaming in panic. Then out
of nowhere, she jumped up and screamed, got you all.
We were absolutely shocked, furious. The nine one one operator
had to be told it was just a prank. Her
son spent ten minutes outside regroup. We barely spoke to

(23:01):
her the rest of the night. I feel bad now
because she may not have understood the trauma she caused us,
but at the time we were livid. Story twenty one year.
My uncle hosted Thanksgiving and invited a special guest. Wouldn't
tell us who, just said he was a big political figure.
Turns out it was David Duke Yes, the former Grand

(23:22):
Wizard of the KK. I was young, but I grew
up in the city, so I immediately told him, my
friends and teachers are black, and they all seem a
lot smarter than you. He calmly replied that he didn't
hate black people, he just wanted a nation for white people.
My grandmother, who was half Native American, looked him dead
in the eye and said, you're going to burn in hell.

(23:45):
Then she excused herself from the table. Now I do
Thanksgiving with my Hispanic in laws much better company. Story
twenty one I never liked turkey, and my mother told
me I didn't have to eat it. She made me
something else instead. Keep in mind I was in third grade.
I think she knew it upset me as a child
to eat it, autism and such. My father wasn't having it.

(24:08):
He demanded that I eat it and went to throw
out my food. He reached for his belt, but when
he had trouble taking it off, I ran to my
room and locked the door, hiding in the corner. He
kicked the door in and whipped me with the belt
multiple times. He and my mom had been fighting for
a while and he was taking it out on me.
After my mom made him leave, I sat at the table,

(24:29):
bruised in crying, eating the food she had made for me.
My sisters just looked at me as my dad slammed
the door and said thanks, you just ruined Thanksgiving. They
blamed my mom for years over the divorce. Two to
this day, I never eat turkey on Thanksgiving. I always
get a good pizza for myself. Over the years, they
did other things to me, isolating me until I finally

(24:50):
cut all ties with them. If one of them had
a funeral, I wouldn't go all because of turkey.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Story twenty two.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
I was hosting a friends giving with my best friend
and room mate we can call her Ellen. At the time,
Ellen wasn't happy with me, mostly because I had gotten
back together with an ex who had been abusive. We
were only in our early twenties, so her frustration came
out in weird ways. Thanksgiving arrived and we spent the
entire day cooking and setting the table. There was tension

(25:18):
in the air because my boyfriend was coming for dinner.
Ellen went to take a shower while I lit candles
and put the finishing touches on everything. Suddenly, she stormed
out of the bathroom, completely naked and dripping wet, screaming
at me that I hadn't rinsed the shower properly earlier
that day. The tension of the day boiled over and
we ended up in a full blown screaming match about everything.

(25:40):
I have this vivid memory of her chasing me around
the table, completely naked, right before our guests started arriving.
Story twenty three. A few weeks before Thanksgiving, my brother
had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. I took a
tremendous amount of time off work to help care for
him alongside my parents. The night before Thanksgiving, my boyfriend

(26:00):
and I went to a concert one of my favorite bands,
Front Row. I needed a break as something to let
me blow off some steam. The concert was three hours
from home, so we planned to spend the night with
a friend and her boyfriend. Some backstory, she had cheated
on her husband for two years with this guy. Her
husband caught them and divorced her about six months prior.
When I talked to her on the way to the concert,

(26:22):
she was excited prepping and cooking for the big Thanksgiving dinner.
After the concert. We showed up with taco bell only
to find them completely wasted. The entire Thanksgiving dinner was
already packed in tupperware, cold and sitting on the counter.
Turns out they had eaten it on Wednesday afternoon, not Thursday.
Not long after we arrived, her boyfriend disappeared. We later

(26:43):
found out he was wasted and paranoid, hiding in the bedroom.
Later that night, my friend and I sat alone talking.
She suddenly started crying, saying she was having nightmares about
her ex husband and didn't think she had properly dealt
with the divorce even after six months. Dreamed down her
face as she told me, you just don't know the
nightmares I'm having. Then every few minutes she would grab

(27:06):
my hands and say, but you are going through so much.
The next morning, my father called and asked if I
would have dinner with my brother so they could visit
some family. I got out of there as fast as
I could, not that it mattered. They slept until three pm.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Anyway.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
That ended up being the last truly good day my
brother and I had together before he passed in January.
I'll never forget him telling me You're perfect, just the
way you are. I'll always be grateful for that day
with him. I'm visiting the cemetery today to see him
before dinner. You really do figure out who your real
friends are and who are just selfish douches.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
Story twenty four.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
My mom lost her battle with cancer and we buried
her just two days before the holiday. Family members who
never called or visited, suddenly wanted to come over for
a big meal. That wasn't normally how we did things,
but we obliged. Of course. They all brought Hawaiian rolls
or store bought deviled eggs, but only ate the food
we had actually cooked. The whole thing was awkward, as expected.

(28:03):
At one point, we walked into a back room and
found our estranged cousin rummaging through my mom's medicine cabinet.
She jumped back and pretended she wasn't doing anything, so
I offered to show her to the bathroom. As I
guided her back to the front room, we interrupted an aunt,
one I hadn't seen in years, going through my mom's
jewelry drawer. Classy, guys, we weren't surprised. My Dad and

(28:25):
I had already locked up all the opioids for eventual
disposal and the valuable jewelry before they arrived. Story twenty five.
My uncle got drunk and went off about how resentful
and angry he was that my cousin had married a
woman whose family didn't have a lot of money, forcing
my uncle and aunt to pay for their two hundred
plus person wedding easily. One hundred of the guests were

(28:47):
my uncle's colleagues, whom he felt obligated to invite and
impress just to keep up appearances, or so he and
my aunt told themselves. Anyway, he unloaded in a world
class rant about how ripped off he felt, how he
and my aunt secretly fought over every CeNSE spent that
he didn't deem necessary, and how the only things he
found necessary were the ones that would impress his colleagues.

(29:10):
He was furious that my cousin and his new wife
hadn't made it explicitly clear during the wedding that he
had paid for it. He was livid that her parents
gave speeches but didn't acknowledge his financial contribution. He was
also outraged that he had paid for his own daughter's
lavish wedding without receiving any financial help from her husband's family,
not even a half hearted offer, despite them having money.

(29:33):
He informed them that traditionally the groom's family offers to
pay for the alcohol, and that he and my aunt
thought they were cheap skates for not even offering. Everyone
from both weddings was at that Thanksgiving and it caused
multiple riffs. I thought my aunt was going to kill him.
It was obviously something that had been stewing for months,
if not years. Story twenty six. The perpetually inebriated manchild

(29:56):
responsible for my y chromosome. I no longer speak to
him after last year, and I struggled to even call
him my father. But that's a whole other mess. Got
hammered out of the cooler he brought with him. He
then tried to push his thirty year old daughter, who
was also the host away from the stove to show
her how to properly sweat an onion. He immediately started

(30:17):
a shouting match with my mother, who, for the record,
is also a piece of work, But again, that's another story.
The second she walked through the door, when my sister
got upset about the yelling in her kitchen while she
was trying to cook, he attempted a ridiculous standing spoon
maneuver with a dramatic it's okay, Daddy's here. Then he
got into a heated argument with my brother in law

(30:39):
over football, both of their teams were playing, but not
against each other. At some point, he scared my then
four year old nephew by angrily ranting about video games,
apparently upset that the kid wanted to watch the race,
which wasn't even in season and airs on Sundays, but
the grand finale. He spent the rest of the night
creeping on a friend of the family who was twenty

(31:01):
years as senior, until she got so uncomfortable that she left.
Why wasn't he thrown out completely? Because I was his
ride and my sister didn't want to force me to
leave because of his behavior. Story twenty seven. Last year,
I got publicly shamed for my diet in front of
my girlfriend's family. Her sister is an overweight nutritionist. Before

(31:21):
I go further, I get where she's coming from. She
was bullied for her weight as a child, and I
know this is a defense mechanism. She recently ran a
five k and got run tattooed in cursive on her neck.
She's also pushing three hundred pounds, now that you have
the context. Every year she tries to push dessert on me. Cupcakes, toffee, brownies,

(31:41):
you name it. I'm actually very fit, but I don't
work out during the winter, so I do keto. I
think psychologically, if everyone doesn't have dessert, she gets insecure
about her own health. Every year, I politely decline, but
last year she wouldn't let it go. She interrogated me
until I finally broke and said that I don't eat
sugar or carbs on my diet. She took that as

(32:02):
an opportunity to educate me, using her nutritionous background, lecturing
me on how carbs are essential and how I don't
know what I'm talking about. Mind you, I have a
degree in evolutionary biology. I knew exactly how wrong she was.
Then Her uncle chimed in, saying, she's right, the extra
carbs helped my migraines. I think you're out of your

(32:23):
element here. At this point, I hadn't even argued with her.
I had simply declined dessert and then explained why after
she kept pushing. Then her mom jumped in, she works
at a doctor's office. You could learn from her. In
my head, I was calculating a million ways to dismantle
their arguments with glycogen indexes ANDIH studies I've read, and
government subsidized corn and sugar, to name a few. I

(32:46):
was sitting there contemplating my next move, and as I
looked around, everyone had this smug, condescending expression, as if
I were some idiot with no clue what I was
talking about. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
I exhaled well, I stayed silent and looked away. I
knew exactly how hard her childhood must have been. I

(33:06):
knew she used her career as an identity to justify
her health choices and lifestyle. So I sat there stewing
as thirty different comebacks ran through my mind. How's that
working out for you? Or lifting my shirt and saying
your turn. I cycled through all the things I could
have said, but I didn't say anything. I stayed silent

(33:27):
for the rest of the evening. I can't shake the
feeling that in that moment I lost all respect, credibility,
and any perceived intelligence that my girlfriend's family might have
had for me. But I didn't want to fuel the fire,
especially with the fragile relationship my girlfriend already has with them.
I didn't want her to have to defend me. So
I took the loss because I knew absorbing all the

(33:49):
nonsense myself was better than ruining someone else's evening. Now
I have to go back tomorrow, and I'm dreading every
second of it.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
Story twenty eight.

Speaker 1 (33:58):
Closest thing I have to a crazy Thanksgiving story happened
in two thousand and five when I visited the red
Neck side of my family. My uncle was drunk standing
by the creek shooting at turtles with his glock. Then,
without hesitation, he handed fifteen year old me the gun
and told me to shoot at the turtles. I said,
I don't want to shoot a turtle. My uncle just

(34:19):
stared straight ahead, took a swig of his liquor, followed
by a long drag of his cigarette, exhaled, and then
popped me in the cheek. I hit the ground in
complete shock. I couldn't believe he had actually hit me. Then,
with a terrifying calm, he said, shoot the damn turtles.
So I did, but the gun jammed. So fifteen year

(34:40):
old me, who had barely ever fired a pistol before,
turned toward my uncle like an idiot and started to
ask m what do I do? Boom? The gun discharged
right next to my uncle's face. A nearby tree wasn't
so lucky. We just stood there, staring at each other
in awkward silence. Then without a he reached out, took

(35:01):
the nine millimeter from my hands and kept eyeing me
as he took another drag from his cigarette. Apparently he
had been using old ammunition, which had caused the gun
to delay. A couple of years ago, he got arrested
for threatening to kill my aunt, spent a year in jail.
When he got out, my dad let him stay with
us so he could get back on his feet.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
Oh what a fun year that was.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
He filled our computer with every kind of adult sight imaginable,
plus an astonishing amount of malware. Then before disappearing for good,
he left the backyard gate open, letting our dogs loosen
the city for the day. One of them ended up
badly injuring her leg and has never walked the same since.
That part wasn't on Thanksgiving, but still story twenty nine.

(35:42):
Oh my god, that would be the time my sister
ripped the toaster out of the wall and tried to
bludgeon my stepdad to death with it, right in front
of the entire extended family. It all started because her
thirteen year old son was caught baring his head in
his ten year old sister's lap. Now, before you think
anything weird was going on, they were just laughing. We

(36:03):
were all packed into my grandma's tiny kitchen, about twenty
plus people, so I wasn't paying much attention. Knowing my
nieces and nephews, it was probably just a dumb, goofy moment.
Kids have nothing remotely concerning. But my drunk, loud mouthed
sorry excuse for a stepdad had other ideas. Out of nowhere,
I heard him scream, what the hell are you doing

(36:24):
to your sister? The entire room went silent. My nephew
embarrassed and in total shock, just froze as everyone turned
to look at them, and then my stepdad lost it.
He started ranting, eating your sister's damn lap at Thanksgiving
or any time is messed up. That's disgusting. What the
hell is wrong with you? My nephew was in tears.

(36:45):
I was this close to snapping, telling him to shut
up and actually listen to what the poor kid was
trying to say through sobs. My nephew tried to explain,
I wasn't doing that, Grandpa. I was showing her the
seven up game, but the table was full of food,
so she said I could just use her lap. Before
I could say anything, my sister, his mom, beat me
to it. It's worth noting she had just quit meth

(37:07):
cold turkey, she'd spent a week in jail for things
semi related to it, and knew CPS was watching, so
she decided to clean up before she lost her kids.
She had only been to one NA meeting before Thanksgiving.
She was fresh out of the game and completely unpredictable.
She could go from calm to duck. That glass pepper
grinder is flying at your head in seconds. And let's

(37:29):
just say she had zero tolerance for people messing with
her kids. She was outside on the four season porch
having a cigarette, but the second she heard my stepdad's outburst,
she came flying through the door like a bat out
of hell. I happened to be standing right by the
toaster because I was doing dishes with my grandma.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
Rip you, beautiful soul.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Before I could even react, my sister ripped the toaster
out of the wall, yank the cord so hard that
the microwave came crashing down from the shelf above it,
missing my grandma. I barely managed to step between her
and Gamgam. As my sister stormed halfway across the room,
toaster raised over her head, letting out this animalistic screech.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
That's when it clicked.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
She was actually about to use it, and, knowing how
she usually fought, that toaster, could have caved his head in.
My other sister and I locked eyes. We had one
second to react. We bum rushed here. Other sister grabbed
her arms. I wrestled the toaster out of her freakishly
strong grip while forcing myself between her and my stepdad.
She struggled like hell, but my other sister, built like

(38:34):
a linebacker, held on for dear life. Eventually we got
her outside. Stepdad and my mom stormed out in a huff.
The rest of us stayed back to comfort my grandma,
who was now a puddle of tears. After helping clean up,
we saw the rest of the family off and played
a quiet round of dominoes with her before tucking her
into bed. She was heartbroken. This was years ago, and

(38:57):
like always, things changed when my grandma passed three years ago.
Our holiday gathering shrunk every year until this one where
there's no Thanksgiving at all, and my sister she apologized
to my grandma and, being the angel she was, Grandma
forgave and forgot immediately. Stepdad never did, not that he
ever would, because in his mind he's never done anything wrong.

(39:21):
He's a big reason the holidays died out. As for
my sister, she was sober for six months, then she
jumped into opioids and adderall. I don't see her much anymore.
I miss who she was before any of it. But
for now I have a turkey to put in, a
Thanksgiving Day parade to watch, and a table full of
people I love, and for that I'm grateful. Story thirty

(39:43):
I was having Thanksgiving dinner with some friends since I
had just returned to the US. The matriarch of the
family was snacking on hot cheetohs and takis, feeding them
to her little lapdog, a Maltese or a similar breed.
About twenty minutes in, after eating devilled eggs, which she
also gave to dog, we were just starting to settle
in to eat when we heard a loud, wet splatter,

(40:05):
immediately followed by an acrid stench filling the room. Turns
out both Nona and her dog had an unfortunate accident
at the same time. We all sat in stunned silence
for a good five minutes before my girlfriend's mom asked
Nna something in Italian. That's when things escalated. Nona lost
it completely. She grabbed something off the floor and hurled
it straight at her daughter in law. I could only

(40:26):
watch in horror as this eighty year old Italian grandmother
launched what I could only assume and sincerely hope, was
dog wasted her. The rest of the family reacted on instinct,
grabbing their plates and scrambling away as fast as they could.
Thanksgiving had officially turned into something out of a nightmare.
In the end, we relocated to a Chinese buffet, while

(40:48):
one of my friends on stayed behind to clean up
and make sure Nona didn't turn into a full blown
screeching menace again. Story thirty one. I had been vegetarian
shurt vegan for years without anyone in my family know,
except for my parents. Our Thanksgiving gatherings are usually big,
with around thirty to forty people, so we don't all
sit at the same table. Because of that, no one

(41:10):
ever really noticed my eating habits. One of my older cousins,
about twenty years my senior, is very much a country guy.
He has a son who's a master marksman, winning shooting
contests all the time. The prizes fancy hams, meats, and
other high end food. That year, all the cousins were
hanging out drinking some moonshine and George Banana whiskey.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
Our families go.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
To my cousin, being sneaky, cut off a few pieces
of his prized ham. If one of the aunts caught
aim eating before the meal, there'd be trouble. Never mind
the fact that we were all adults. Everyone tried the ham,
raving about how good it was, everyone except me. My
cousin kept pushing me to try it, getting more and
more insistent. When I still refused, he got visibly upset

(41:54):
and stormed off for a smoke outside. A bit of background.
He's the son of my uncle's first marriage and has
always been somewhat of an outsider in the family. Our
grandmother never liked his mother, and although my uncle became
wealthy later in life, he never really helped my cousin
or his mom. While the rest of the family held
gatherings at a nearly ten thousand square foot mansion overlooking

(42:15):
a lake, my cousin had built his own business and
lived a much humbler life. For him, my refusal to
eat his ham wasn't just about food. It felt like
a symbol of his whole life of always being dismissed
by the family. He was making such a fuss that
my mother finally told my aunt that I didn't eat meat.
My aunt passed the message along, and my cousin eventually

(42:36):
came back and said, ah, hell man, I thought you
didn't want it because it was mine. You don't eat
nobody's meat, shut man. Sorry, I was in your face.
We hugged it out and ended up having a good time.
Not exactly a trashy story, but that was the year
of the ham incident. Story thirty two. This wasn't a
family Thanksgiving, but someone sure tried to make it that way.

(42:58):
This literally happened last week. For the past few years,
we've had a friends giving hosted by the same person,
and this year they had a new roommate who wanted
to co host. This girl had been homeschooled all her life,
so she wasn't the best at reading social cues or
understanding basic social norms. Our friends giving is usually simple.
Everyone brings a dish, homemade or store bought, We get

(43:21):
a little tipsy, and we watch movies or play games.
It's always a fun, cozy gathering, even in a small apartment.
But this new roommate decided to shake things up by
inviting twenty plus family members and church friends, including her
teenage siblings and her three year old niece. Now I
have nothing against kids usually, but this event was not

(43:41):
meant to entertain children or keep things Pg.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Thirteen.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
The niece was absolutely unbearable, screaming, constantly, locking people in
closets as a game, and touching everyone NonStop. Her mother
was nowhere to be found in all of this, with
the extra twenty people, the place was packed to the
point where some of our friends left early because they
couldn't stand the chaos. And to top it all off,
not a single one of these people brought food. My friend,

(44:08):
the actual host, had made it very clear that this
was a pot luck, so either the roommate never told
them rude or they just didn't care. Even ruder. They
devoured the food we had cooked, and after the party ended,
the roommate's sister, the mother of the annoying three year old,
had the nerve to take home our leftovers without asking.

(44:29):
Usually we have enough leftovers to split among ourselves for
the week, but this time we all went home empty
handed after cooking sixteen plus servings of food. All in all,
a frustrating and incredibly disappointing night Story thirty three. This
is about me, and while I'm not exactly proud of it,
things turned out okay in the end. For my entire life,

(44:51):
I had always been the oldest kid, stuck at the
kid's table.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
It sucked.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
Then when I came home from college at nineteen a
full grown adult, I assume those days were over. That year,
we were invited to my parents' friends Thanksgiving, a larger
gathering with multiple families. Despite the fact that there were
other people my age at the get together, there weren't
enough seats at the grown up table, so the hostess
put me at the kid's table. The oldest kid was

(45:17):
maybe twelve. I was not impressed. I had done my time.
In response, I decided I was going to get wasted.
If I couldn't sit with the adults, I was at
least going to drink like one. I started downing wine.
Not in a wild or reckless way, but I was
determined to get drunk enough that they'd never make me
sit at the kid's table again. As I was quietly

(45:37):
finishing off a bottle, one of the kid's parents came
up and asked if I wanted to share a bottle
of homemade wine he had brought. Fast forward three hours
and I was completely trashed sitting with a couple of
dads having deep conversations about power engineering. We actually had
a great time. One of their kids even ended up
moving in with me six years later when they went
off to university, since we had stayed friends after that night,

(46:00):
and I had a spare room. Turned out to be
a great renter and a solid person. So yeah, it
started off a little messy, but it ended up really,
really well. Story thirty four. My daughter was six at
the time and had special needs, though she hadn't been
diagnosed yet. That year, my arrogant brother, who had no
kids of his own at the time, hosted Thanksgiving. The

(46:22):
entire evening, he and his wife followed my daughter around,
snatching everything she touched out of her hands. It didn't
matter what it was, paper, magnets, plastic spoons. If she
picked it up, they took it away. Eventually, during dinner,
my daughter was struggling to sit still, so I gave
her a few dollars to play with. I had to
sit here in the middle of the hallway because heaven

(46:42):
forbid she touched anything in their house. I sat back
down to finish my plate, keeping an eye on her.
About ten minutes later, she started crying from really bad
gas pain. I could tell because she kept clutching her stomach,
saying my belly, and doubling over in discomfort. Instead of
being my brother and his wife started exchanging looks with

(47:02):
each other, and with her family, rolling their eyes and
sighing dramatically. I got the message. I turned to him
and said, maybe I should go early without hesitation. My
brother stood up and said, actually, that's a good idea.
He threw my food into a tupperware container, added some dessert,
and all but pushed me and my daughter out the door.

(47:23):
I cried the entire drive home. Luckily, I only have
to see him once a year. Now that he has
a kid of his own, he's much less uptight, but
he's still an absolute jerk. I'll never forgive that night,
and I'll never forget the look of my sister's face.
She was embarrassed for me, completely in shock at how
awful he had been. Story thirty five. This one is

(47:44):
a wild ride. My two cousins, let's call them Travis
and Megan, walked into the living room where the entire
family was gathered, and proudly announced that they were in
a relationship. Yes they were related by blood, and yes
they knew exactly what they were saying.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
They launched into this big speech.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
About how love is love, how being related isn't something
they could control, and how their bond was real. I
was only about eight at the time, so I didn't
fully understand, but I do remember every adult in the
room just staring at them in absolute shock. The two
great aunts, Travis and Meghan's mothers, looked at each other
in pure horror. My great grandmother, the family matriarch, broke

(48:24):
the silence by simply saying no again. I was too
young to get the full weight of the situation, but
even I knew that was a definitive response. Travis and
Meghan awkwardly excused themselves to get some fresh air. That's
when chaos erupted. Everyone immediately started talking at once, sharing
their thoughts on the situation. Then things took an even

(48:44):
weirder turn. Travis's mother, my great aunt, who was deeply
into spirituality, shape shifting, and all kinds of mystical beliefs,
said that maybe Travis and Meghan were kindred spirits. She
insisted that their auras matched. At that point, the family
completely shifted focus from the shocking relationship reveal to questioning

(49:05):
my aunt's sanity. Meanwhile, I wandered off to find Travis,
mostly because he was my favorite older cousin and I
was curious. But when I went looking for him, I
realized both he and Megan were gone. I rushed back
to the family and told them what followed. Was a
full blown search party. Now, this was in Benson, Arizona,
a tiny, sleepy town surrounded by miles of desert. Behind

(49:27):
my great grandmother's house was a massive wash filled with saguaros, rattlesnakes,
giant boulders, and hills. It was tradition for the family
to go walking through it after Thanksgiving lunch, so everyone
knew the area well. That knowledge came in handy because
we had to spread out and search for them. My
mom tried to make it fun for me and the
younger cousins, telling us to pretend we were FBI agents

(49:51):
on a mission. I remember taking it way too seriously,
peering around cacti like I was in some kind of
spy movie. Eventually we found them. They were standing on
top of a massive rock, holding hands, staring off into
the distance like they were the main characters in some
tragic romance film.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
It was weird.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
We brought them back to the house and the rest
of Thanksgiving was painfully awkward. By the next year, they
weren't together anymore, and to this day, no one in
my family ever talks about it ever at all. Story
thirty six. My now ex wife, who was an alcoholic
though I didn't realize how bad it was at the time,
asked my dad if she could have a glass of

(50:31):
jamison instead. She proceeded to secretly finish off the entire
one point seven to five liter bottle behind everyone's back.
No one really noticed at first, but then she started
slurring her words, and by that point it was already
too late. Later, I stepped outside for a smoke and
she followed me, only to start an argument right there
in front of the entire house. She loudly blamed me

(50:53):
for her cheating and called my family terrible stuck up people.
At the time, I tolerated my step family, but never
really liked them. No one said a word during the
whole ordeal, and after I got her and our son
packed up to leave, my stepmother came down to the car.
She told me she was there for me if I
ever needed to talk. She's a therapist. No one else
has ever brought it up again. Now that I'm divorced,

(51:14):
my step family has been very supportive, while also making
sure to keep quiet about what they know around my son. Ironically,
what was probably the trashiest moment at any of our
Thanksgiving gatherings actually brought me and my extended family closer.
That bond gave me the strength to finally file for
divorce a couple of years later. Story thirty seven. This
one isn't so much trashy as it is hilariously embarrassing.

(51:38):
My great grandmother has Alzheimer's, but honestly, she was already
a handful long before that. My mom's side of the
family has a tradition where we go around the table
and say what we're thankful for. When it was Grandma's turn,
she did not disappoint. She started by saying she was
thankful for her mother. Then she turned to my aunt
and asked where her mom was. My aunt, who lives

(51:58):
with her and is completely de sensitized to this by now,
just flatly responded, your mom is dead. The air grew
thick with tension. Grandma stared down at her lap for
a long, silent moment. Then, as if completely switching topics,
she suddenly said, oh, well, Linda loves the gaze. She
married a gay man. Linda's husband, very much not gay,

(52:21):
was sitting right there next to their three sons, just
shaking his head like, what is happening right now? Meanwhile,
his sons were absolutely losing it. They tried to quiet
Grandma so we could move on, but she turned to
the aunt she lives with and bluntly told her she
was being a real pain. Now the kids were getting
scolded for laughing, but it was impossible not to. The

(52:41):
situation kept escalating. At one point, she turned to my stepdad,
pointed at him, and said, and you, who the hell
are you? Without missing a beat, he shot back, who
the hell am I? Well, who the hell are you?
That absolutely floored her. She gasped and said, what well,
I'm helen you little, and then just let them have it.

(53:02):
At that point, I completely lost it. I buried my
face in my hands, crying from laughing so hard. I
don't even remember how it ended. I just remember my
aunt's her daughter's being the only ones who weren't having
any of Grandma's nonsense, while the rest of us were
barely holding it together.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
Story thirty eight.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
My girlfriend's family decided to wait until three days before
Thanksgiving to tell us when and where they were hosting dinner.
By then, we had already made plans with her grandparents, who,
due to long standing family drama, aren't allowed to see
their own grandkids, and my family. She politely responded that
we could stop by early since it was already a
pack day for us. That's when her mom threw a

(53:41):
full on tantrum, told her she wasn't invited anymore, and
hung up the phone. The next day, we got a
call from her eight year old little sister. Turns out
their mother had coached this poor kid into asking my girlfriend,
why aren't you coming to Thanksgiving? Don't you love us?
It was painfully obvious that she was reading from a script.
After being asked three separate times to pass the phone

(54:03):
to their mother, the little girl finally cracked. Instead of
saying she isn't here like she was probably told to,
she blurted out, she keeps nodding no. Then we heard
a scuffle, a loud thud, and the call disconnected. I
don't even want to think about what happened to that
poor kid after that. And of course, her mother is
also blaming me for dragging my girlfriend away from the family,

(54:27):
never mind the fact that my dad passed away last
week and I wanted to spend Thanksgiving with my remaining family.
According to her, I was the villain because we weren't
prioritizing her manipulative nonsense. Oh and the cherry on top.
She wouldn't even tell us her address. Story thirty nine.
When I was eleven years old, my entire extended family, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts,

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and uncles went to a family friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner.
It was a large house, so for most of the night,
the kids played in the basement while the adults drank
and prepared the meal upstairs. Shortly after we finished dessert,
someone noticed that my uncle will call him Tim and
the hostess will call her Donna had disappeared upstairs into

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the master bedroom. Mind you, both Tim's wife and Donna's
husband were sitting downstairs with the rest of us. One
by one, different family members went to knock on the
door to see what was going on, but neither of
them came out. I remember hearing some strange noises from
behind the door, but at eleven years old, I didn't
understand what was happening. I do remember my aunt crying

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and Donna's husband looking absolutely furious. Still, Tim and Donna
refused to come out for almost two hours. When they
finally did emerge, Donna was wearing different clothes and everyone
was visibly upset. That moment was burned into my memory,
so recently I asked my mom what had actually happened
that night. Turns out, while us kids were downstairs singing karaoke,

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some of the adults upstairs were drinking, smoking weed and
doing coca. Apparently Tim and Donna had locked themselves in
the bedroom to do coke, then got so padeoid they
were too afraid to come out. At least that's the
official story. We still think there was more going on
in that room, but no one will ever admit it.
Oddly enough, all the couples involved are still happily married.

(56:12):
Story forty years ago, my uncle's wife, his last wife,
cornered me, twelve F, my sister eleven F, and our
cousin fourteen F in the kitchen and completely unprompted, showed
us her new boob job. We never asked. Not only
did we get an unsolicited view, but we also got
a full description of her and my uncle's bedroom life.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
Again, we did not ask.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
I think she targeted us specifically because no grown woman
in my family could handle more than five to ten
minutes alone with her. Every conversation with her somehow turned
into graphic details about my uncle and her personal life.
I could probably write an entire dissertation about how trashy
this woman was. Among other things, she forced my uncle
to take out a loan to buy an RV just

(56:58):
so she could take her prize show O Spaniels on tour.
That's a whole other story. She also had him by
a corvette and as a surprise for him, had the
words wrap your ass in fiberglass custom detailed on the side.
The story takes a much darker turn, though my uncle
later passed away under suspicious circumstances. Officially it was ruled

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a suck, but many in the family strongly suspect foul play.
There were inconsistencies with the guns positioning, and a lot
of things that simply didn't add up. The strongest theory
his wife's grown son may have been involved, but this
was South Carolina in the nineteen eighties, not CSI where
they zoom in on everything and piece together a crime

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scene perfectly. To this day, many of us still believe
the truth was never fully uncovered. Story forty one. A
few years back, my husband's maternal uncle and his kids
came into town from very far away. It was the
first time the family had seen each other in nearly
a decade, so it was a big deal. My mother
in law Mill was going all out, scrubbing the house spotless,

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buying fancy new plates, even putting up the Christmas tree
early to make everything feel picture perfect. Unfortunately, this was
also around the time my sister in law, Sil twenty
had started seeing her moron of a boyfriend, BF, now
her baby daddy. Since my mother in law wanted to
show off how put together her family was, she invited
him to Thanksgiving dinner. Before dinner even started, Sele and

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her boyfriend were already trying to sneak off to do something.
They claimed they wanted to go Black Friday shopping, but
Myel wasn't buying it and kept shutting it down. Eventually,
when she was distracted, they tried to slip out through
the garage. Big mistake. Miil caught wind of it and
bolted after them. The door shut behind her, but since
the garage was attached to the house, the entire family

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was treated to an audio version of the chaos unfolding outside.
We all sat there in stunned silence as Mil absolutely
lost it. We learned that, according to her cel was
a stupid, reckless girl, and a whole lot of other
words that I was very surprised to hear coming from
my ultra conservative m el No one inside made eye contact,

(59:07):
no one dared move. We all just sat there, awkwardly
pretending we weren't hearing this completely unfiltered screaming match happening
just beyond the wall. Then things escalated. Sil actually tried
to leave, but Mil physically stopped her, slapping her and
dragging her back inside. When they finally returned, both of
them were a mess. Their makeup was smeared from crying.

(59:30):
Em L's face was red from yelling and still looked furious.
But the second Mill stepped inside, she flipped back into
her gracious hostess mode, acting like nothing had happened. She
straightened her clothes, wiped her face, and with the fakest
smile I've ever seen, just carried on as if she
hadn't just had a full blown melt down in the garage.

(59:51):
I lost a lot of respect for her that day.