What was the most Embarrassing thing you've had to go to the ER for?

What was the most Embarrassing thing you've had to go to the ER for?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
What was the most embarrassing thing you've had to go
to the er four Story one, Back in high school,
I was feeling awful from a rough night before and
was stuck in the bathroom for way too long. I
ended up dozing off with a bridge of my nose
resting against my knee. I woke up to my dad
knocking hard on the door. I panicked and tried to
stand up, but both my legs had fallen asleep. When

(00:22):
I stepped down, my ankle twisted completely sideways, and I
let out a loud, painful yell. My parents started shouting
and worry while I was just lying on the floor,
ankle already turning dark and swollen, still not even a
finished cleaning up. My dad opened the door, and I'll
never forget the look on his face, pure disappointment. He
helped me up, then when to start the car while

(00:44):
I quickly clean up. Beforehand to the hospital. TOLDR I
sprained my ankle.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
While using the bathroom. Story two.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
When I first started being intimate, I ended up with
a really bad bladder infection. I didn't want my mom
to know I was active, so I was drinking cranberry juice.
It was a cure for everything. I stuck to that
cranberry juice for two whole weeks. Fast forward a bit.
The juice clearly wasn't working, but I kept hoping infection
would just go away on its own. During my second

(01:11):
period MAC class, I stood up the turn of my
test and suddenly fainted. My heart was racing. I had
a dangerously high fever, and they rushed me to the hospital.
Turns out the infection had spread to both my kidneys
and had started causing damage. I was in the hospital
for two weeks. My boyfriend stayed with me the whole time.
A few days before I was supposed to be discharged,

(01:33):
I was feeling restless and decided to get a little flirty.
Since I had my own private room, I figured my
parents wouldn't be there for hours, so we'd be fine.
Right when things were getting intense, a nurse walked in
and we didn't even notice until it was too late.
I screamed when I saw her, accidentally dug my nails
into my boyfriend's leg, which made him scream, and then

(01:53):
the nurse screamed. It was pure chaos. Edit too. Yes,
I now know blad infections can happen from me many reasons.
I learned that in the hospital seven years ago, so
no need to send me medical explanations. Edit three, and
please stop pretending you know me personally. It was funny
at first, but I didn't expect to get hundreds of comments,
and I didn't even use a throwaway account. Story three.

(02:15):
I was in grade eight when I got really sick
and ended up being constipated for what felt like forever.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
I missed three whole.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Weeks of school because of it. Eventually I went to
the er with what I can only describe as an
immovable situation. It was just way too big to pass.
I'm pretty sure it was halfway there but refusing to budge.
So there I was lying on my side in a
hospital bed with my pants down. One doctor came in,
took a quick look, and then left, looking pretty shaken.

(02:44):
A few minutes later, an older doctor who looked just
like him walked in and took over. Turns out it
was a first doctor's dad who also worked at the hospital.
They gave me some super strong laxative, something I swear
was meant for elephants, and by the next day, let's
just say I was in the bathroom for a very
very long time TLDR. My constipation stressed out a doctor

(03:06):
so much that he got his dad to finish my
hospital visit for him. Story four. About a year ago,
I went out with some friends to a bar. We
had a few drinks, like you'd do at a bar,
and after a few hours we ended up at a
pool hall on the second floor of a downtown building.
The only way in or out was a long steel
staircase that went down three flights. When it was time

(03:26):
to leave, and after way too many drinks, my friend
bet me that I couldn't do a spinning jump kick
over his head. Feeling way too confident in my amazing balance,
I told him I could. We made a bet on it,
but as we were talking, the staff started ushering everyone
out slowly because the last call had already happened. As
we got near the stairs, he turned around and dared

(03:48):
me to do it, so I went for it. Instead
of jumping over him, I kicked him right in the face,
knocking him out cold. We both tumbled down the stairs,
crashing into each other and taking a few other people
down with us. Us next thing I knew I was
waking up a hospital bed. Within four in my arm,
my leg, and a sling, and the news that I
had broken three bones of my ankle and tore my moniscus.

(04:10):
My friend had a broken jaw. My parents, who were
called as my emergency contacts, just said this better not
have happened way they think it did. Unfortunately, it happened
exactly like they said. I've never seen my mom laugh
so hard while looking so disappointed at the same time.
I've also never gotten so many looks from people that
basically said, Wow, what a genius. Worst part, I still

(04:33):
lost a bed story five. When I was six, I
nearly drowned in a pool. Luckily someone saved me. I
remember lying on the ground, coughing up water, with people
standing around me in a circle, and my mom crying
over me. The next thing I knew, I felt warm
air and saw a helicopter. They put me on a
stretcher and into a compartment in a helicopter, then flew

(04:54):
me to a hospital in Philadelphia. I guess they gave
me something to help me sleep, because I don't remember
much after that. When I woke up, I saw scissors
and my pants were gone. As a little kid, I
panicked and thought something bad was about to happen when
they suddenly cut off my underwear. I started crying for
my mom, but then they gave me a popsicle, and

(05:14):
in my six year old brain that made everything okay. TLDR.
Almost drowned at age six, got flown to hospital. They
cut my underwear off, and a popsicle made me forgive them.
Story six. A long time ago, probably when I was
around three to five years old, I didn't want to
eat the peas my mom packed in my lunchbox, so
instead of eating them, I decided to stick them up

(05:37):
my nose. I spent the rest of the day breathing
through my mouth. When my mom picked me up from daycare,
she asked why I was breathing like that. I told
her and we went straight to the jar. They ended
up using a little suction device to get those green
troublemakers out of my nose. Story seven. When I was
in fourth grade, I was sitting in the living room

(05:57):
flipping a quarter in the air. At one point I
looked up and somehow, one in a million chants, it
landed right in the back of my throat. I couldn't
breathe and panicked, so I swallowed it. I ran to
tell my mom, and we headed straight to the hospital.
On the way, I had the worst stomach pain I'd
ever felt, at least my fourth grade self. Turns out

(06:17):
the quarter was stuck in my esophagus. At the hospital,
it took them an hour to decide they didn't want
to operate on me because I was too young, so
they transferred me to another hospital where they put me
to sleep and used a tool with a claw to
pull it out. When I woke up, I was in
a big room full of empty beds and honestly thought
I had died. Now, whenever I tell this story, people

(06:38):
can't help it laugh. Story eight, my mom had to
drive me to the ar after I smoked something that
was clearly mixed with something unknown. Still have no idea
what was to this day. I was smoking and by
the third big puff I knew something was wrong. My
heart was pounding so hard and so loud that I
couldn't even hear people talking. I could feel my blood

(06:59):
moving through my whole by if I focus on my arm,
I could feel it flowing through my veins, same with
my legs and chest. Then there were these weird echo sensations.
If I touched my arm. The feeling would travel up
it in waves. My tongue was the strangest part. I
could taste everything I had ever tasted before, switching from
tingling to sour, to sweet, to acidic to metallic. As

(07:20):
we pulled at the hospital and I walked toward the ar,
I started hallucinating that it was getting farther and farther
away from me. When I finally got inside, I spent
about twenty minutes drinking from the water fountain NonStop try
get the strange taste out of my mouth. Eventually I
passed out in the hospital bed, and a few hours
later they sent me home. Story nine. I once got

(07:42):
myself stuck in a metal ring that definitely wasn't meant
for fingers. After several hours of ice, distracting thoughts and
half a bottle of olive oil, I finally decided it
was time to go to the yar. After a quick check,
the doctor tried removing it with a tool they used
to cut off jewelry, but after several minutes of sawing
there was barely a mark. So I asked if they

(08:02):
had any boat cutters in the hospital. A janitor showed
up with a pair, and after several tens minutes, with
two nurses, the doctor, and the janitor all holding things
in place and discussing strategy, they finally managed to free me.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
Story ten.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
You know how you're never supposed to open a pressure
cooker while it's still cooking. You know how old cartoons
showed them exploding, and how you hear all the warnings
about them exploding, and how to even come instruction booklets
explaining how to avoid one explosion. Somehow, at the wise
old age of twenty four, I ignored all of that
without even glancing at an instruction manual, I decided to

(08:38):
use a pressure cooker to make chicken stew. For some reason,
I absolutely had to check what the stew was doing inside.
That decision earned me second degree burns on my arms, chest,
and torso. Thankfully I didn't end up with any scars
and no one else got hurt. But there was a
ten foot radius of chicken stew around my kitchen. Yes,
I know it was a terrible idea. No oh, I

(09:00):
can't explain why I did it, and no, I've never
lived it down. The er staff that day were definitely amused.
Story eleven. I once crashed my motorcycle going two miles
an hour. I was a brand new rider, just practicing
in my neighborhood when I somehow managed to tip over
and land right on a curb. By pure coincidence, someone

(09:20):
I knew happened to be driving by and saw the
whole thing. They gave me a ride to the er
since I was a little out of it from my
head bouncing around inside my helmet. Thankfully, I was okay,
but my friends have never let me forget it. In fact,
they even gave me a most likely to crash a
motorcycle at two miles an hour award. Story twelve. When
I was fifteen, I got thrown off a horse. I

(09:42):
landed in a gravel driveway at full gallop speed. Got
scraped up, but otherwise felt fine. I brushed myself off,
walked about one hundred yards where the horse had stopped,
took off his saddle and bridle, cleaned his holes, brushed
him down, basically did the whole routine. That's when my
mom started yelling that we had to go the er.
I told her I was fine, but she insisted I

(10:03):
might have a small fracture in my hips and we
needed to check back. Then I was still using pads,
so when it took me for X rays of my
hips and pelvis, I had to pull my pants down
while wearing a very obvious MAXI pad. To make things worse,
the doctor acted annoyed like I was wasting his time.
Turns out I was completely fine TLDR. If you fall

(10:23):
off a horse with an overprotective mom and a grumpy
doctor nearby, you're in for an awkward day. Story thirteen
not really embarrassing for me, but I guess some people
might think. It was a few years ago. I was
sitting at my computer when I suddenly felt a sharp
pain down there. I went a bathroom to check it
out and saw something I did not expect. One side

(10:44):
was standing straight out like an arrow instead of just
hanging out like normal. It hurt a lot, so I
first tried to fix it myself. That didn't work. I
figured maybe it would sort itself out, so I took
a shower, then even sat down for dinner with my family,
but nope, still pointing straight out. Finally I told my mom,
showed her the situation ouch, and we rushed to the er.

(11:05):
By then I was walking like a cowboy with my
legs far apart. When I got to the nursing station,
I told her I think I sprained it. She tried
to stay professional, but I could tell she was holding
back laughter. The doctor saw me right away and decided
I needed surgery. Turns out it had gotten stuck between
some veins or tissue inside. They fixed it, but afterward

(11:26):
the doctor told me I only had about three hours
left before I would have permanently lost it. TLDR one
side got stuck in the wrong place. I had surgery
to fix it and barely save it. In Time Story fourteen,
I've gotten way more laughs out of this story than
I ever thought I would. When I was fourteen, I
had severe stomach pains. My guess appendicitis my mom's guests appendicitis.

(11:50):
My pediatrician's guess, also appendicitis. We went to the er,
waited for about three hours, and finally got into a
consult room. The doctor in front of my mom asked
me when my last period was, if I was dating anyone,
and if I was active at the time. I was
still about ninety percent sure boys had cooties, so I
told her my last period date and that no, I

(12:11):
wasn't active. Apparently that answer didn't fully convince them, because
for the next while, while waiting for a CT scan,
every doctor and nurse available came by to chat with me,
sometimes with my parents there and sometimes without. They all
explained that certain pregnancy related emergencies can be serious and dangerous,
and that if something like that was going on, they
wouldn't tell my parents if I didn't want them to know.

(12:34):
The last nurse to come and happened to be a
deacon at my church, and that's when I just started
crying because it was all too embarrassing. Turns out it
actually was my appendix staging a little rebellion after all, TLDR.
Fourteen year old me thought it was appendicitis, doctors thought
it was a pregnancy emergency, and the whole thing turned
into one very awkward day story fifteen, On my ninth birthday,

(12:57):
I broke my wrist on a blueberry muffin, a muff
of my friend had thrown in the road the day before.
When I was younger, I love rollerblading, and every birthday
I get a new pair of skates. That year, I
opened my present to find glittery purple carbon fiber pattern
rollerblades with smooth rubber wheel.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
I was over the moon.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
I immediately asked my older brother to skate with me, but
he said no and when to hang out with his friends.
I asked all my neighborhood friends too, but they were
all busy with homework. So I set off on my own.
Little nine year old me thought I was a pro.
I could skid to a stop, skate backwards, and lift
one leg like a flamingo. But while practicing in the
cul de sac, one of my wheels got caught on

(13:37):
that old muffin. I fell hard, breaking my wrists and
scraping up my legs. A group of kids rode past
on their bikes and I quietly called out for help,
but they ignored me, so I limped home. I cried
the whole way to the r but once I got there,
I got a purple cast to match my new skates,
so at least there was a story.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Sixteen.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
Last summer, my sister was in a pre nursing program
and got to spend some time in the er, just observing.
One day, a guy walks with his pants and legs
covered in blood. The staff quickly got him inside and
worked to stop the bleeding. Apparently, he said he'd been
shot at and that the bullet just grazed him in
a very sensitive area. He claimed some random strangers shot

(14:18):
at him while he was across the street. Since it
was a gun related injury, the hospital called the police,
which is standard procedure. The cops showed up and started
asking questions. Pretty quickly, they found out the truth. He
had actually been at a mall over twenty miles away.
He had fired at somebody considered an enemy but missed,
and the other guy fired back. That shot hit him

(14:39):
in well, a very unfortunate spot. Instead of going to
the nearest hospital, he drove himself twenty miles to this
one with that injury, only to end up in police custody.
Safe to say, his tough guy image probably didn't survive
that day. Story seventeen. When I was in first grade,
I was so afraid of using the school bathroom that
I went the entire day without going. When I got home,

(15:01):
I told my mom my stomach.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
Hurt really badly.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
She thought it might be my appendix, so she took
me to the hospital. There, they had me peeing a
cup for testing. Let's just say it didn't stop for
what felt like an hour. The doctor and nurses were laughing,
and then they sent me home. Needless to say, my
parents had a long talk with me about actually using
the bathroom when I need to. It was not a
fun day. Story eighteen. I'm from the Seattle area, where

(15:27):
ticks aren't really a big problem, but during an extended
business trip to the Kansas side of Kansas City, I
made a mistake of walking through some tall grass. That night,
while getting ready for bed in my hotel room, I
found a tic tuck near my armpit. I'd never dealt
with one before, and earlier that day I'd actually seen
someone with a badly infected wound from a tick removal

(15:47):
gone wrong. I had no matches, no tweezers, nothing I'd
heard you shouldn't leave them in, so I called a
hotel front desk. They told me they had a nurse,
but she had gone home fornight and they didn't know
of any nearby clinics. I even tried calling the local
er just to ask if they knew of a walking clinic,
but no one picked up. Finally, I decided to just

(16:07):
walk over to the er a few blocks away to
ask in person, but as soon as I got there,
a staff member started filling out intake forms for me
instead of giving me advice. Then a side door opened
and a nurse came out. She grabbed the paperwork, said
come with me, and led me into a bathroom. She
pulled out the little scizzle like tool they used to
remove ticks and told me, if they bill your insurance,

(16:28):
this is going to cost over one thousand dollars. Before
I could even explain that I was just looking for
a clinic, she and another nurse who muttered she came
to the r for a tick, had removed it, flushed it,
and torn up my paperwork. They gave me a couple
of headshakes that said really, but they were kind about it,
and honestly, I still appreciate their help to this day.
Story nineteen. In high school, we read the Scarlet Letter

(16:52):
and had to choose a letter to wear that represented
one of our shameful secrets.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
I picked a letter Ay, and.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
For some reason, I thought it would be so cool
to actually brand the letter into my ankle using a
paper clip and a lighter spoiler.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
It was not cool.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
I didn't sterilize anything, and the burn ended up getting
badly infected. When I noticed red streaks going up my
leg I figured I might have blood poisoning, which meant
I had to tell my parents what happened. I have
never seen such a look of disappointment from my dad.
At the er, the staff couldn't stop laughing at the story.
Turns out I wasn't nearly as hardcore as I thought.

(17:28):
Story twenty I'm a freshman in college, and my first
real experience drinking a lot happened during my very first weekend.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
Here.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Of course, it ended with me in the hospital. When
I woke up, the male doctor told me that I
had repeatedly called him extremely handsome.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
I was embarrassed, but I got over it.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Fast forward to a big away football game the night before,
I once again ended up in a hospital Takila, let's
just say never again. When I woke up, the female
nurse said, remember me, you grabbed my arm at least
three times and then threw up on my shirt. I
was horrified. Both of these incidents happened within my first
three months of school. I like to think I'm a

(18:08):
much more responsible college student now. Story twenty one. When
I was about five or six, my oldest brother was
pulling me behind the snowmobile while I sat on a
gt sled for some reason. My mom had a rock
garden the yard, and of course my brother drove right
through it. I fell off the sled and landed in
the rock garden, where there definitely wasn't enough snow to

(18:28):
break my fall. One of the rocks sliced right to
my snow pants, my regular pants, my underwear, and into
my butt cheek. My mom later said she could actually
see the tissue inside. I ended up getting more than
thirty stitches on my right side, and now I have
a scar that I can still show off in bikini.
Story twenty two. Aunt is a nurse and used the
work in the er. She's seen a lot, but one

(18:50):
of the funniest things she mentioned was a guy who
came in with a candle stuck somewhere. It definitely wasn't
meant to be and he couldn't get out. As for
one of the stranger cases, you told me about a man
who walked and wearing a suit and carrying a suitcase.
He explained that he wanted to transition to female and
had already started the process inside the suitcase, where things
he had surgically removed from himself. Story twenty three. This

(19:14):
happened about a month ago. It was my day off,
so I woke up late, took a shower, and then
want to clean my ears.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
With cotton swab.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
I must have gone too far because the cotton tip
came off and got stuck in my ear canal. Thinking
I could get out, I grab another swab and went
an even deeper to try fishing it out.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
Bad idea.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
I suddenly felt a warm sensation in my ear, and
when I pulled it out, not only had I managed
to get second cotton tip stuck, but my ear was
also bleeding. I ended up spending a few hours in
ar while the doctor removed both pieces and flushed my
ear while about ten medical students stood around watching the
whole thing. TLDR by the good cotton swabs or risk

(19:54):
an er trip where you get silently judged by a
crowd of future doctors. Story twenty four. I was walking
my dog with my girlfriend now wife for fourteen years
in Texas during spear grass season. For anyone who's never
heard of spear grass, it's this plant that basically grows
tiny sharp spears. As kids, people would throw them at
each other for fun, but they can also be dangerous

(20:16):
especially for hunting dogs. The Texas kind grows four to
five inch spears with the pointed head and a little
covered the base. When you pick them, the cover usually
comes off before you throw it. I had the dog's
leash in my throwing hand, but there was enough slack
to grab some spear grass. The cover came off with
the spear, so I decided to take it off using
my teeth. Normally, you bite the cover and pull the

(20:37):
spear out, but since I was tangled up with the
leash and holding my girlfriend in hand, I bit the
spear and pulled the cover instead. Right at that moment,
I tripped on the sidewalk and took a huge inhale.
Somehow the spear flipped around and went straight down my
throat point first. It got stuck somewhere deep where I
couldn't reach. I ran home, gagging and tried to grab

(20:58):
it with tweezers, but instead of pulling it out, I
accidentally cut off the tail end.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
No luck.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
We rushed to the hospital while I tried not to
throw up. The nurse miss her my girlfriend and thought
I had glass in my throat, so she hit the
panic button. Suddenly people were running over shining flashlights to
my mouth while my girlfriend was laughing too hard to
correct her. When she finally told him it was grass
and not glass, the medical staff seemed less impressed. They

(21:24):
used some cold spray want to find a pair of
extra long tongs from another floor, and eventually pulled the
thing out, all thanks to one very stupid piece of
spear grass. Story twenty five. When I was fifteen, I
went to the pool with a friend. He said he
was bringing two girls and hinted something exciting might happen.
I'd never been in that kind of situation before, so

(21:45):
I was both nervous and curious. The girls showed up,
We hung out, and during a pool break we went
to playground. Things got a little flirty, and soon we
were looking for a private place since the pool was closing.
My friend suggested the woods near our houses. He was
smart enough to bring a towel. I didn't, and I
really wish I had. Honestly, I had no idea what

(22:06):
I was doing. I thought I was doing everything right,
but I definitely wasn't. She ended up guiding me and
the night ended without much happening for me. The next morning,
I woke up when a bathroom and thought, Hey, maybe
things look bigger now because I'm older. But two days
later I realized something was very wrong. My skin was red,
itchy and swelling up fast. Panicking, I ran to my

(22:29):
mom yelling that I needed to go to the hospital.
When she asked where this happened, I said in the woods.
That's when it hit me. I had gotten poison ivy
in a very sensitive spot. A few hours later, I
was at the er. The nurse asked to see the area,
and when I showed her, she said, oh my, and
broad in the doctor. Then more staff came in to look. Eventually,

(22:49):
the doctor gave me a steroid shot to help with
the swelling, which only made the situation more awkward in
front of the small crowd watching TLDR. First experience didn't
go as planned, ended up with POI was an ivy
and sensitive place and had to get treated in front
of way too many people. Story twenty six. When I
was a kid, I was on a ferry coming back
from a trip. I was in the arcade, playing one

(23:10):
of those virtual realities skiing games where you move your
feet to control the character. I wouldn't take a really
sharp turn, push too hard, and my knee popped out.
It hurt a lot. As soon as we got off
the ferry, we headed straight to the er. Fast forward
to my most serious injury ever. This past summer, while camping,
I went shooting for the first time with my wife's

(23:31):
uncle and my brother in law. I started with smaller guns,
a point two to two and a twelve gage, and
then they brought out a point thirty dash zero six.
I was trying to line up a shot at a
distant tree, not paying attention to how close my face
was to the scope, and not thinking about how much
kickback the rifle would have. I took the shot just
moments before they realized I was about to hurt myself and.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
Could warn me.

Speaker 1 (23:53):
The rifle kicked back into my face, leaving a big
round cut just above my eye. There was a lot
of blood. The trip was ruined, and it took a
two hour drive to the hospital. Nine stitches later, I
had a story and a new respect for keeping my
face away from the scope. Story twenty seven. Not me,
and I'm not sure how embarrassing it was the person,
but it's a story I've never seen share before. I

(24:15):
used the race r C Cars a local shop not
the small toy electric ones, but nitro power models that
cost anywhere from three hundred dollars to over one thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Some of these.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Cars could hit speeds over fifty miles per hour. One day,
I was in the parking lot talking to friends before
an event. Someone was testing their car nearby when it
had some kind of malfunction, probably a stuck throttle. In
a split second decision, the guy ran in front of
the car and tried to stop it with his ankle.
Technically his plan worked, the car stopped, but in the

(24:47):
process he shattered his ankle and had to be taken
away on a stretcher. Story twenty eight. At three am,
I walked into the yard with one hand spurting blood
and the other pressing a towel against it. I smiled
and politely told them I needed help. They looked a
bit shocked once they realized it was a real emergency.
Apparently my calm tone made them think otherwise. Someone slid

(25:08):
a clipboard toward me with paperwork to fill out, and
I just lifted my blood covered hands and gave them
the most polite underscore looked possible. Eventually, a nurse and
surgeon came over. They asked if I had been drinking. No,
I just hadn't been feeling well and wasn't thinking clearly
when I made a cut. Then they asked if it
happened at work. Nope, I told them I'd just been

(25:29):
fixing my computer. TLDR had a severe injury for a
ridiculously boring reason, which somehow made it even more embarrassing.
Story twenty nine. When I was in high school, I
suddenly got really bad pain in a very sensitive area.
My mom, who's an er nurse, was working at the time,
so I called her. She told me to come to

(25:49):
the jar right away. A female doctor examined me and
then set me for an ultrasound. In the end, everything
turned out fine, nothing was wrong. Years later, came an
EMT and ended up working at that same er. The
doctor who treated me back then is now a close friend.
Now that I'm a paramedic. I still see her several

(26:10):
times a month. She often tells people she's known me
forever and that we have a special bond. TLDR had
pain in a sensitive area in high school, got checked
out by a doctor I now work with regularly, and
we still laugh about it. Story thirty. A few years ago,
I was walking home from school. It was a long walk,
so to pass the time, I decided to balance along

(26:31):
the guardrail. I'd done it before. It wasn't far from
the ground, so I didn't think anything could go wrong.
It was a hot day, I was tired, and I
wasn't paying much attention. Next thing I know, I slipped
and landed hard straddling the rail. The pain was instant
and intense. When I got home to check, I realized
I had a deep cut in a very sensitive area

(26:52):
and it was bleeding a lot. Since I was too
young to drive, I called my mom and she rushed
me to the er. I sat there for about an hour,
feeling incredibly uncomfortable. When it was my turn, the doctors
had me sit in a butterfly position and use a
small paper cover so they could focus on injury. They
gave me numbing shots, which hurt and stitch me up.

(27:13):
TLDR tried to balance walk on a guardrail, slipped and
landed straddle style, and ended up kneeding stitches in a
very sensitive spot. Story thirty one. Not me, but shortly
before my wedding, I got a phone call about my
brother Apparently, when I moved out, I'd accidentally left behind
a certain adult item. My brother, who had recently come out,

(27:34):
decided to try it out and ended up getting the
entire things stuck, batteries and all. He couldn't get it out,
so he told my parents. My dad tried to help
and somehow turned it on high. Four hours later, after
a minor surgery to remove it, my brother woke up
to find the interns handing him a cardboard box and
asking if he wanted to keep it. Let's just say,

(27:54):
my poor brother became the running joke at my wedding.
Still a little unsettling knowing it used to be mine though.
Story thirty two. About a year ago, I managed to
injure myself while using the bathroom. At first, I didn't
think it was that bad and wasn't sure what happened,
so I ignored it. But soon the pain got worse
and I went to doctor. She examined me, said it

(28:16):
should heal on its own, and gave me antibiotics. Unfortunately,
it didn't heal. It got much worse. I kept hoping
it would fix itself, but over time it became badly
infected and turned into something called an anorectal abscess. By
eleven pm one Wednesday night, the pain was so bad
that I went to er. They put me in one
of those small curtain beds and the doctor came to

(28:38):
take a look. The moment he saw it, he said,
I'll get my tools and came back with a tray
of medical instruments. He gave me a local anesthetic and
started the procedure to drain and treat the infection. While
this was happening, a young child in the er started
running around unsupervised, pulling open curtain. Sure enough, he pulled
mine open and got an unfortunate view of my very messy,

(29:00):
very unpleasant situation. Let's just say he stopped running around
after that. TLDR had a bathroom injury that turned into
a serious infection, ended up in an er for procedure,
and accidentally scared a kid. Straight story thirty three. Back
in my sophomore year, my friend's parents were out of town,
so we threw a keg party at his place way
out in the countryside. Things were getting rowdy when some

(29:22):
friends called saying they couldn't find the house. They had
a van with about five girls in it, including one
I'd been talking to for weeks and really wanted to impress.
Even though I'd been drinking, I was still one of
the more sober people there. I spent about fifteen minutes
trying to explain directions, but my friend, who actually knew
the address, was almost passed out, so I couldn't get
any clear information from him. Another buddy had just gotten

(29:45):
a motorcycle we were all about sixteen, and told me
to take it, meet them and lead them back. I
said yes, even though I'd only ridden it a few
times before. On the way, I hit a curve where
dirt from a side road had spilled across the pavement.
I didn't know it was there. When I turned, the
bike slid. I managed not to crash completely, but I
couldn't make the turn and ended up in a ditch.

(30:07):
That's when it happened. While landing, I slammed right into
the gas tank with my lap. A moment later, I
felt something cold on my leg. Panicking, I reached down,
thinking I was bleeding, but realized instead that I had
major swelling, a lot of it. Thinking it was internal bleeding,
I tried pushing the blood back into my body. Thankfully,

(30:27):
I was in shock and didn't feel much pain, yet
it didn't help, and the swelling kept getting worse. Somehow,
I dragged the bike out of the ditch and rode
back to the party. By then the place was packed
easily eighty plus people inside and outside. The guys all
look horrified and the girls were staring like they just
seen something they couldn't unsee. I made my way through
the crowd to call my dad, ignoring all the comments

(30:50):
and looks. When he arrived, we went straight to the hospital.
By this point, the swelling was about the size of
a grapefruit and a deep red purple. I got taken
back quickly because it was starting to hurt badly. The
doctor asked what happened, then said he needed to check
the Moment he touched it, I screamed. He moved it slightly.
I screamed more. Then without warning, he grabbed and squeezed

(31:13):
so hard I passed out. In the end, no permanent damage,
just some scar tissue. As a reminder, TLDR got drunk,
crashed a motorcycle, serious swelling in the sensitive area, and
the doctor squeezed it so hard I passed out. Story
thirty four. This didn't happen to me, but to a
friend of mine who worked as a scribe in the
er in my city.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
One night, around.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Two am, he called me to share what had just happened.
A man came into the er complaining of pain in
a very sensitive area. When the staff examined him, they
found the source. Two cotton swabs have been pushing side
as urethra. To make things worse, he had wrapped a
rubber band so tightly around himself that he couldn't remove them.
But that wasn't all. He also had a tampon and

(31:56):
two brought worse lodge in his backside that he couldn't
get out either. My friend was just stunned his exact reaction.
What is wrong with people? Story thirty five years ago,
right after high school, I passed out while sparring with
a classmate. I was wearing a full backpack at the time,
so when I blacked out, I fell backwards and slammed
my head on the concrete. The way of the backpack

(32:18):
made it even worse, giving me serious whiplash. I was
rushed to the hospital, but not before loudly insisting that
I was fine and could walk home and throwing a
few choice words at anyone trying to stop me. Thankfully,
no one listened. In the ambulance, they put on a
neck brace because they weren't sure if I had a
neck injury. I kept telling them my neck was fine,
complaining an entire ride, and even tried to pull the

(32:40):
brace off. When I got to hospital, I was hooked
up to monitors and my dad came in with my uncle.
My uncle, who tend to talk a lot, started asking
me question after question. I was trying to stay awake
and answer, but eventually I couldn't take it anymore and
said in what I thought was a whisper but was
really my normal voice, Dad, I can't handle this. Please

(33:02):
get Uncle Jim out of here. He's just talking and
I can't deal with it right now. My Dad got
into leave and I promptly tore the neck brace off.
My heart rate dropped into the twenties, but I pulled through. Later,
I had to apologize to everyone for things I didn't
even remember doing. TLDR, passed out, sparring, hit my head hard,
fought the medics a whole way to hospital, told my

(33:23):
dad to kick my uncle out, and lived apologize for
it later. Story thirty six, When I was fifteen, I
went through a big hypochondria phase. Any small symptom made
me think I was dying. I've since been diagnosed with OCD,
so now I know it was just part of that,
but at the time the fear was very real. One day,
I came back from an international flight and had a

(33:44):
cramp in my thigh. It hurt, and my brain immediately
went into panic mode. I looked it up online, and
of course the Internet said, you were on a long flight.
Now you have leg pain, pulmonary embolism, You're going to die.
I tried to calm myself down and tell myself it
was nothing until I looked at my hands and saw
they were blue. I rushed the bathroom to wash them,

(34:06):
thinking maybe they were dirty. Nope, still blue. At that
point I completely panicked. My sister called an ambulance while
I was convinced my time was almost up. The paramedics
arrived and I was hyperventilating. My blood pressure was high,
and my hands seemed to be getting even bluer. I
asked one of them if I was going to die,
and he said, at least not in the next twenty

(34:27):
four hours. When we got to the hospital, they told
me to wash my hands with soap, and just like that,
the blue was gone. Turns out it was dye for
my gene. Everyone in the hospital laughed and my family
still teases.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
Me about it to this day.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
TLDR got blue dye on my hands from my jeans.
Thought it was a deadly medical emergency, called an ambulance,
and it turned out I just needed to wash my hands.
Story thirty seven. I have asthma, and during college I
had a few bad flare ups triggered by allergies. In
my freshman year, I had my first major one. I
was having a really hard time breathing and my rescue

(35:03):
inhaler wasn't helping. My friend panicked and rushed me to
the locally r They took me in right away and
hooked me up to a machine that delivers a breathable steroid,
which is common for asthma treatment. After a while, I
started to feel much better until I saw the next
patience being brought in. One was a guy who had
been in a serious car accident near campus, and the

(35:24):
other was a girl who'd been stepped on by a horse.
It was a small rural town. All I could think
was why am I in the R for an asthma attack.
I felt a little embarrassed, especially when people back at
the dorm started joking about it. Honestly, it was something
that could have been handled at the local clinic. TLDR
had an asthma attack. My friend rushed me to the R,

(35:45):
but later realized it could have been treated at a
regular clinic. Story thirty eight. I was about fourteen or fifteen,
just getting home from basketball practice. I was super thirsty,
and normally I'd just grab a glass of water, but
that day there was a leftover two liter bottles seven
up from a family party earlier in the week. We
rarely had soda in the house growing up. It was

(36:06):
usually milk, juice, or water. So after practice and ice cold,
seven ups sounded amazing. There was only about one eighth
the bottle left, so I thought why not and chugged
the rest. I burnt, sat down on the couch and
started watching TV. About twenty minutes later, my stomach started
cramping badly. I'd never felt strong pain like that before,

(36:27):
so I started panicking. Being dramatic, I called for my
parents like I was in some kind of movie scene.
All I could say was pain. Seven up. Stomach. My
parents heard that and immediately thought it was serious. Next
thing I know, they're calling an ambulance. I got a
ride to the hospital, where I waited for a couple
of hours, only to have the doctor tell me that

(36:47):
I just shouldn't drink that much soda at once. TLDR
chugged the last bit of a two liters seven up,
got bad stomach pain, overreacted, and ended up in the
hospital for nothing. Story thirty nine stated a girl who
preferred a certain position where we'd both be lying on
our sides. One summer afternoon, we were feeling lazy, and
after spending some time together, we accidentally fell asleep without moving.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
When we woke up.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
About an hour later, I realized that the part of
me still inside her had swollen to about three times
its normal size. It didn't hurt, but it looked strange
and definitely worried me when it didn't go back to
normal after a few hours, I finally decided to go
to the er. Red faced, I awkwardly explained the situation
to a nurse who looked like she was close to retirement.

(37:32):
She didn't even flinch, She just said, don't worry about it.
It'll go down in a few more hours. Now go
home before I have to start filling out paperwork and
charging you. By ten that night, everything was completely back
to normal. I still have no idea what caused it,
and it's never happened again. TLDR fell asleep after being intimate,
woke up with unexpected swelling, went to the er, and

(37:55):
the nurse told me it would fix itself, which it did.
Story forty. When I was about a liven or twelve,
I thought it would be funny to put a Q
tip in each ear and make it look like one
super long Q tip going through my head. Well, I
accidentally pushed one in too far, hit something inside my ear,
and it started bleeding. My mom was not happy about
having to drive me to the R because of such

(38:17):
a ridiculous stunt. A few years before that, I had
been sick for a couple weeks, throwing up, having stomach trouble,
and dealing with severe pain in my stomach over the
last few days. One night it got so bad that
I ended up both throwing up and well not making
to bathroom in time. On the other end, it turned
out I might have had a ruptured appendix if I

(38:38):
hadn't started feeling better a few hours later, I would
have gone into surgery. Looking back, I sometimes wonder if
I exaggerated how bad I felt, just avoided TLDR, tried
a long Q tip trick and ended up in the
er with a bleeding ear years earlier, almost at surgery
for a possible ruptured Appendix Story forty one. I've only
been to the er once, and it was because I

(39:00):
I rupture my spleen. It happened on January eighth, two
thousand and seven. I was messing around with my little
brother on an unhitched trailer. I thought it would be
fun to balance it, so I told him to go
to the back of the trailer along with some heavy
cement blocks to even out the weight. I stayed on
the hitch end, and when we both got into position,
the hitch lifted up, taking me with it, and of course,

(39:22):
what goes up must come down. I flipped and landed
right on the grass between a brick area and a
cement walkway. They were only about two or three feet apart,
and I was lucky I didn't hit either one directly.
I didn't need surgery, but the doctors told me I
couldn't run for ten weeks while my spleen healed. That
was the worst part, because I loved running TLDR. Messing

(39:42):
around on a trailer, flipped off, landed badly, ruptured my spleen,
and couldn't run for ten weeks. Story forty two. Back
in eighth grade, life was pretty uneventful. Most of my
friends had already moved on to high school, and I
was just coasting to my last year of elementary school,
waiting for something in interesting to happen. One Thursday, my

(40:02):
parents took my brother and me out to dinner and
All you can eat Chinese buffet. I went all in
on the garlic ribs. Afterward, we went home, I did
my homework, watched some TV, read a little, and went
to bed. Around one or two in the morning, I
woke up with sharp, stabbing pain in my stomach. At first,
I thought it might be a weird dream, but it

(40:23):
didn't go away. After about twenty minutes, I decided to
get a glass of water. I was loud enough shuffling
around to wake my mom, who immediately knew something was wrong.
She offered me painkillers, and even though I almost never
take them, the pain was bad enough that I said yes.
An hour later, the pain had only gotten worse.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
It felt like I had swallowed a bunch of ninja stars.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
My mom suggested it might be my appendix, which freaked
me out but also kind of made sense. My dad,
not exactly thrilled about the late night drive, took me
to the R while I worried the whole way there
about kneading surgery. At the hospital, they ran blood and
urine test and check me over. I was lying on
exam table and pain, my dad dozing off in the corner,

(41:05):
and then it happened. I farted instant relief the pain
was just gone. Turnout it was really bad gas, most
likely from the garlic ribs. Of course, the doctor walked
in right after, and I didn't want to look silly,
so I pretended I was still in pain for a while. Eventually,
the ultrasound showed only some slightly swollen bowels, and I

(41:26):
sheepishly admitted it was just gas. My dad wasn't too happy,
but the doctors were glad it wasn't anything serious. I
got the next day off school to recover, and let's
be honest, to avoid embarrassment, TLDR thought, I had appendicitis,
went to the er. Turnout, I just had really bad gas.
From Garlic Ribs Story forty three. Back in eighth grade,

(41:47):
I was in the Boy Scouts. Our troop met on
Wednesday nights at a nearby elementary school. We'd spent about
an hour and a half in the cafeteria for the meeting,
and afterward, while waiting for our parents to pick us up,
we'd head into the gym to play games, usually wallball
or dodgeball for a short time. Our go to game
was something we called the chair game. The rules were simple.

(42:08):
Everyone linked arms in a circle around a metal folding chair.
If he broke the circle or touched the chair, you
were out the last person standing one. The game was intense,
lots of shoving and pulling, with people being slammed toward
the chair. One night, it came down to me and
a much stronger kid. We locked wrists and went at it.
He yanked me toward the chair hard and I jumped

(42:29):
only the land straddling the backrest. I barely avoided serious damage,
but I ended up limping and with a nasty scrape
in a very uncomfortable place. After a couple of days
of awkward walking a painful lump form between my inner
thigh and groin. My mom took me to the doctor,
who had me up in stirps to check it out.
I was a shy eighth grader, never having been undressed

(42:50):
in front of anyone before, and now here was a
doctor poking around for several minutes. Then it got worse.
The doctor called in the entire staff to take a look.
They thought it might be a hernia, and apparently some
of them had never seen an injury quite like that before.
It was, without a doubt, one of the most embarrassing
moments of my life. TLDR got hurt playing a rough

(43:11):
game in boy Scouts, ended up with a swollen and
bruised injury in a very sensitive area, and had an
entire team of doctors examine it. Story forty four. It
started with me having to tell a nurse about my
issue and trying to be discreet unexplained pain, you know
down there. The nurse couldn't hear me what speak up,
so I had to say it, there's pain in my butt. Unfortunately,

(43:34):
that wasn't the only time I had to say it.
I ended up repeating the same thing to the admission's desk.
The insurance repped another nurse, and of course the only
attractive male nurse in the entire hospital, and since the
hospital is right next to my workplace, I had actually
seen some of them before.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Lucky me.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
The truth was I'd had a lump inside my but
cheek for months. I don't have any unusual habits that
could cause it, so I just hoped it would go.
But eventually it got so bad that I had to
go to the r explaining over and over that no,
there was nothing stuck up there, and no, it wasn't
from any kind of injury. Turned out it was a
huge cyst, so big that was in danger of rupturing

(44:14):
inside me. They kept me overnight until a surgeon could
see me, but it got so bad that he decided
to cut and drain it right away. I was fully
awake for the whole thing, legs out, face down and
being held still by three nurses, two male nurses hold
in my legs and one poor nurse at my upper
body while surgical tape held my cheeks apart. And to
make it even more awkward, I was on my period

(44:36):
and they didn't provide any way to deal with that,
so there I was with three nurses, a surgeon, and
an attending physician, all staring at me while the cyst
was being drained in a curtained off area that faced
a hallway with the curtains wide open. Yes, people were
walking by. After that, Let's just say I no longer
get embarrassed during medical procedures. Guynecologists visits feel modest Compared

(44:58):
to that day TLDR had a giant cis drained in
the jar while fully awake, in full view of medical
staff and people walking past. Nothing medical embarrasses me anymore.
Story forty five. When I was about fourteen, my brother
and I were outside playing catch, either with lacrosse sticks
and ball or football, I honestly can't remember. At one point,

(45:20):
he threw a terrible pass and I bent down to
pick up the ball. We were huge hockey fans as kids,
so there were always hockey sticks lying around the backyard.
Out of nowhere, my brother yells, this is Sparta the
movie three hundred. Just come out and froze a hockey
stick like a javelin. It hits me right above my forehead.
I felt a sharp pain, like a really bad headache,

(45:41):
and grabbed my head my brother froze, looking horrified. When
I pulled my hand away, it was completely covered in blood.
We went to the er, and to avoid embarrassment for
both of us, I told him I tripped and fell.
I left with a few staples in my head and
a short lived nickname on my lacrosse team, Swing after
the staple brand. In the end, my brother bought me

(46:03):
a PSP make up for it, so I guess it
all worked out. TLDR. Brother re enacted three hundred with
a hockey stick. I ended up with staples in my
head and a free PSP Story forty six. A few
years ago, on Christmas Eve, I was just sitting and
watching TV when I suddenly got this sharp, unbearable pain
in a very sensitive area. It was the worst pain

(46:24):
I'd ever felt. I managed to hobble downstairs, which felt
like it took forever, and told my mama was going on.
She had a couple of drinks and thought it was
hilarious at first, but she quickly realized it was serious
and rushed me to the er. Once there, multiple nurses
and doctors, both male and female, came in to examine
me and asked if it hurt. When they press on

(46:45):
certain spots. The answer was a very obvious yes. They
eventually ordered an ultrasound. I was wheeled into the room
where an older nurse handled the procedure. The whole thing
was so awkward that I didn't know.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Whether to laugh or cry.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
When I got back to my room, I waited forever
for the doctor. By then, the pain had started to fade.
The doctor finally came in and explained that I had
to stick her torsion. But I'd gotten lucky because things
had untwisted on their own. They still scheduled surgery to
prevent it from happening again. TLDR had severe pain in
a sensitive area on Christmas Eve, turned out to be

(47:20):
torsion and ended up getting surgery prevented from happening again.
Story forty seven. I've had three pretty embarrassing injury. When
I was about eleven, I was on a teeter totter
with my sister and another girl on one side and
me with a bigger girl on the other. My sister
and her friend thought it would be funny to jump off.
My foot slipped under the teeter totter, and the next

(47:40):
thing I knew, I was lying the bark chips, feeling
the worst pain in my life. The teeter totter had
slammed down and shattered my ankle. I had to be
carried to the car. Fun fact, I even did the
hula at a school event while in a cast. Fast
forward to a couple of years ago. I was at
work and it was super busy. I was making desserts
and we had this drop in freezer for ice cream,

(48:01):
like the ones at ice cream shops, but smaller. In
my rush to get everything done, I slammed my wrist
on the corner of the freezer, snap broken. I had
to explain to every doctor that I broke my wrist
while scooping ice cream, and then a year later it
happened again, same injury, same way, and of course the

(48:21):
same doctor's in the er TLDR broke my ankle on
a teeter totter, broke my wrist scooping ice cream, and
then broke it again a year later, doing exact same
thing with the same er doctors both times. Story forty eight.
This happened to my first boyfriend when we were both
young and didn't really know much about these things. I
was actually part of the problem, so I guess it

(48:42):
counts as my story too. Apparently he had a medical
condition where the skin at the tip was too tight,
but neither of us realized it could be an issue. Well,
things got a bit romantic, and the skin ended up
pulling back and getting completely stuck behind the tip. This
cut off blood flow and it quickly turned a very
concerning ship of purple. We tried to fix it ourselves,

(49:02):
but it just wasn't happening, so we rushed to the er.
Trying to explain what happened to the nurse was one
of the most embarrassing moments of my life. It got stuck,
but I felt even worse for my boyfriend, who got
taken away to have several doctors examined a problem. I
stayed for moral support, and eventually they got everything back
to normal, but by the end it looked very sore

(49:22):
and bruised. Tldr boyfriend's skin got stuck in a very
uncomfortable way. We had to go to the er, and
it was one of the most embarrassing moments ever. Story
forty nine. I cut my finger on a Campbell's soup can.
At first I didn't think it was that bad, so
I ran it under cold water to clean it. That
was a mistake because it kept bleeding instead of clotting.

(49:44):
Next thing I know, I woke up on the kitchen
floor in a small pool of blood with my dog
pawing at me. I called a friend and his wife
drove me to the ear. I waited about an hour
before a doctor saw me, and I ended up kneeding
six stitches. The doctor told me I had scraped the
bone and cut two nerves at the tip of my finger.
I tweeted Campbell's Soup with a picture of my finger,

(50:04):
and they replied, asking me to call their customer care number.
When I did, the woman on the phone send me
seven dollars worth of coupons for my trouble. About ten
days later, I got the stitches removed. I noticed some
blisters forming around the area, but didn't think much of it.
The doctor drained them and told me it was a
staff infection. I took antibiotics for a week and it

(50:25):
healed completely. TOLDR cut my finger on a soup can,
needed six stitches, got seven dollars in coupons, then had
a minor infection that cleared up with antibiotics. Story fifty.
When I was about ten my family had a membership
at a public pool. There were a few arcade games
there that me and my friends liked play, and one
of our favorites was the X Men game. We had

(50:46):
gotten pretty far but then lost, and we didn't have
any quarters left to keep going. I volunteered to run
to my friend's mom to get more quarters. About thirty
seconds into my two minute trip, I tripped on my
sandal and slammed my head into a short metal pole.
I got up, thinking I was fine, and kept running.
Almost immediately, a man nearby stopped me and looked worried.

(51:08):
He told me to check my head, and when I
touched it, I felt a big bump. He quickly took
me to the first aid station, which was only a
few steps away, and they called nine to one one.
My dad showed up and followed the ambulance to the er.
After several blood pressure checks and a couple of moments
where I felt dizzy and saw strange things, the doctor
sent me hold instructions to keep ice on my head.

(51:30):
There were two embarrassing parts about this whole thing. First,
I had to explained over and over again how I
tripped over my own shoe. Second, while I was in
the ambulance. My friends were still standing by the X
Men game, restarting to count down for about fifteen minutes
until someone finally told him I had been taken to
the hospital TLDR. When I was ten, I tripped over

(51:51):
my sandal, hit my head on a pole, and ended
up in the er while my friends kept waiting for me.
At the arcade game Story fifty one, I had just
turned twenty one, was in college, and thought I had
simply bruised my tailbone. It was uncomfortable, but since I
was broke, I didn't want to go to the doctor.
I figured I just waited out, But then the swollen

(52:11):
area near my tailbone started a leak, and that's when
I realized something was really wrong. I went to a
walk in clinic, waited forever, and finally got seen by
a doctor who told me I needed immediate emergency surgery.
Great I had to drive myself to see a specialist
who explained that I had a pilonidol cyst that had
grown way out of control. I didn't even know what

(52:32):
that was at the time. The nurse gave me a
numbing shot in a very tender spot, and then they
cut into the cyst. The smell was so awful that
even the nurse almost gagged, and she told me it
was a worse one sheet and the doctor had ever seen.
And this is coming from people who deal with medical
messes every day. They had to pack the wound with
what felt like miles of Gaul's tape. Now years later,

(52:53):
I just have a scar running up my lower back.
TLDR thought I had a bruised tailbone. Turned out to
be a huge pylonidol cysts. Had emergency surgery. Nurse said
it was the worst sheet ever seen. Story fifty two backstory.
On December twentieth, two thousand and nine, I was climbing
a tree when I slipped, slid about three feet down
the trunk, and landed hard on my right hip. I

(53:15):
was scraped up, bleeding and hurting, but I still walked
home with the help of my friend, who, by the way,
was supposed to be hold in my hand, but let go.
Fun fact, when she jumped down and check on me,
she landed right on my foot. I kept insisting it
was just a bruise, and since my family was busy
preparing for Christmas guests, they believe me. Fast forward month
After limping around for weeks, I finally decided to get

(53:38):
it checked. I went in for an X ray, and
the doctor came back laughing because apparently I had literally
broken my butt, specifically the iskium bone. The most awkward
part the X ray itself. Thea had me lay on
a cold table in the fraud position, feet together, knees
spread as far apart as possible, while a big, motherly
but impatient nurse kept telling me to move my life

(54:00):
legs faster, even though it hurt like crazy.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
Story fifty three.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
One night, I was playing broomball with friends at my
university's hockey rink. I was sprinting full speed when out
of nowhere, a girl cut right in front of me
to avoid crashing into her and possibly hurting her, which,
by the way, is exactly how I always end up injured.
I tried to stop, suddenly bad idea. My foot slipped,
and instead of slowing down, I went flying face first

(54:26):
into the ice. A week earlier, I had badly sprained
my wrist, so I couldn't use my hands or elbows
to break my fall. My chin took the full impact.
At first I thought I was fine until I saw blood.
Everyone freaked out when they saw my chin. I went
to check in the mirror, and sure enough, there was
a one inch gash right under it. That little accident

(54:46):
earned me eight hours in the er and a fresh
set of stitches. Story fifty four. When I was around twelve,
my backpack had two male support rods inside it. One day,
all my books somehow got stacked on top of one
of those rods. I dropped the bag onto my lap
without thinking, and that metal pole with all the books
on top, drove right into my most sensitive area. At first,

(55:09):
I didn't think it was a big deal. Yeah, it hurt,
but it wasn't worse than any other accident hit down there.
I walked home a little sore and went about my day. Then,
while mowing the lawn later, I suddenly collapsed from the pain.
By three am, it was still not going away, so
I told my mom and she rushed me to the er.
After a long wait for an ultrasound tech to come in,

(55:30):
I got the joy of having an annoyed ladies smear
cold jelly on me and pressed the ultrasound wand right
into the injured spot. I almost threw up from how
bad it hurt. Turns out I had ruptured my epiditomus.
They gave me some kind of special support garment in
a size small understraping steak, and I ended up crab
walking for a week because every step felt like torture

(55:52):
Story fifty five. It might not seem super embarrassing now,
but at the time it definitely was. When I was
about fifteen, I used to deliver home care catalogs and
the products people ordered, with my dad helping me out.
One day, I knocked on a door to drop off
a bag of goods. The woman who answered said she
needed to grab her purse, so she went back inside.

(56:12):
While she was gone, I bent down to set the
package on the ground, and that's when it happened. Out
of nowhere, her tiny chew waw will launched itself at
me and latched onto my nose, and I mean latched on.
It didn't let go for a good twenty seconds. When
it finally released me, the woman came back out, totally
apologetic and handed me some tissues. Because I now had
blood dripping down my face, I went to the local

(56:34):
hospital to get it checked, and when I told the
doctor what happened, he tried and failed to hold back
a laugh. Apparently you don't see many six feet four
inches teenage boys walk and saying they got bitten on
the nose by one of the tiniest dog breeds on
the planet. My family still hasn't let me live that
down story fifty six. When I was about six years old,

(56:55):
I had to go to the emergency room to get
my ears cleaned out for some reason, never the tip
of my pencil broke. I thought it would be a
great idea to put the broken piece of my ear.
I was six, so it made sense of my head.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
At the time.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
About a week later, I ended up with a horrible
ear infection. At the er, they flushed my ears and
pulled out twelve tiny pencil tips, yes, twelve. My mom
still has them in a jar somewhere. And then there's
my sister. She was three years old when she decided
to shove a pea upper nose. Now, if it had
been a soft cooke pea, we probably could have poked

(57:28):
out easily, but no, being farmers, we had dry peas
men for planning, and she chose one of those. She
tried to get out herself and just pushed it further
up into her nose. No one could get out, so
we ended up back at the er. The doctor said
if it had gone any further, she would have needed
surgery to remove it. Story fifty seven. During my freshman
year of college, I had just started dating this girl.

(57:51):
One day, we got into an argument because I was
wearing a jacket while walking outside in forty five degree weather.
I got really upset. The most logical thing I could
think of, walked away and started punching a tree. Fast
forward two hours and my right hand had swollen up
like a water balloon. I couldn't even move my fingers.
My friend ended up taking me to the emergency room,

(58:13):
where I had to explain over and over what happened
to doctors and nurses who were clearly trying not to
laugh at my poor decision making. For the record, the
tree didn't survive either. It was gone within three years.
Story fifty eight. I was with my partner and during
the fun the condom got stuck inside me. It was
really embarrassing. When I went to the clinic, I quietly

(58:34):
explained the situation to the receptionist instead of keeping a discreete.
She rolled her eyes, picked up the phone, and said
loudly for everyone in the waiting area to hear, Yeah,
I got one here, the condoms stuck inside, and I
really don't want to keep her here for another two hours.
Can I send her through now? When the doctor examined me,
they commented, Wow, that's pretty far in there. Good thing

(58:56):
you came in. I was mortified. The doctor did say
it actually happens more often than most people would think,
but that didn't make me feel any less embarrassed at
the time. Story fifty nine. I once ended up in
a hospital for well being too full, and not because
I was constipated. It hurt so much that I couldn't
even try to go to the bathroom. The pain was

(59:16):
just as bad as what you might get with a
bowel blockage, but the doctor wasn't sure if anything was
actually stuck. Turns out it was about a week's worth
of food built up and both intested. It woke me
up around two am, and the pain was unbearable. They
gave me a strong pain shot twice, but apparently I
have a high tolerance for it. After the first shot,
the pain actually got worse, and by noon I was

(59:38):
still in agony. The second painkiller barely helped, and it
wasn't until about four p m. After another strong shot,
that things finally started to calm down.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
The wild part.

Speaker 1 (59:49):
I had taken enough pain medicine to work for three
grown men, and I was just an underweight, seventeen year old.
As awful as it was, looking back now, it's honestly
the funniest hostile EXPERI I've ever had.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Story sixty.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
I once had to go to the er for a
tiny cut I got at work, not because I thought
it was serious, but because my boss insisted. They said
it was company policy for any injury, no matter how small.
The funny part, just a year earlier, while working the
same company, a glass bottle fell off a shelf, shattered
and sent pieces flying straight my eye. Instead of sending

(01:00:22):
me to an emergency eyed doctor, they put me on
the phone with a nurse overseas, who told me, if
you can still see your fine, just go back to work. Luckily,
my eye was okay. The glass must have just bounced off,
But the situation could have been much worse. And the
best part, I had already warned them at least five
times that those bottles were stacked way too high and
were boundfall. They only decided to fix the shelving after

(01:00:46):
it actually happened.